The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 1, Episode 21 - The Younger Woman - full transcript

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

[DOOR CLOSING] >> WHAT
TIME IS IT? >> OH, IT'S 3:00

WHAT TIME IS IT? >> OH,
IT'S 3:00 IN THE MORNING.

OH, IT'S 3:00 IN THE
MORNING. GO BACK TO SLEEP.

IN THE MORNING. GO BACK TO SLEEP.
YOU KNOW, THEY SAY THAT EVERY

GO BACK TO SLEEP. YOU KNOW, THEY SAY
THAT EVERY 9 SECONDS A CHILD IS BORN.

YOU KNOW, THEY SAY THAT EVERY 9 SECONDS A
CHILD IS BORN. AND I THINK TODAY, THEY PICKED

9 SECONDS A CHILD IS BORN. AND I THINK
TODAY, THEY PICKED OUR HOSPITAL TO DO IT IN.

AND I THINK TODAY, THEY PICKED OUR HOSPITAL
TO DO IT IN. I'M TELLING YOU, DEAR,

OUR HOSPITAL TO DO IT IN. I'M TELLING
YOU, DEAR, BABIES WERE COMING



I'M TELLING YOU, DEAR, BABIES
WERE COMING FROM ALL DIRECTIONS.

BABIES WERE COMING FROM ALL
DIRECTIONS. I WAS AFRAID TO MOVE

FROM ALL DIRECTIONS. I WAS AFRAID
TO MOVE OUT OF THE SPOT I WAS IN.

I WAS AFRAID TO MOVE OUT OF THE SPOT
I WAS IN. I WALKED PAST A VENT AND TWO

OUT OF THE SPOT I WAS IN. I WALKED
PAST A VENT AND TWO OF 'EM CAME OUT.

I WALKED PAST A VENT AND TWO
OF 'EM CAME OUT. I'M NOT KIDDING,

OF 'EM CAME OUT. I'M NOT KIDDING,
I STARTED SPANKING PEOPLE.

I'M NOT KIDDING, I STARTED SPANKING
PEOPLE. BY THE TIME I GOT TO THE CAR,

I STARTED SPANKING PEOPLE. BY THE TIME I
GOT TO THE CAR, THE FELLOW THAT GAVE ME

BY THE TIME I GOT TO THE CAR, THE FELLOW
THAT GAVE ME THE CAR, I HIT HIM ON THE BACK.

THE FELLOW THAT GAVE ME THE CAR, I HIT HIM
ON THE BACK. AND IT'S A GOOD THING I HAD

THE CAR, I HIT HIM ON THE BACK. AND IT'S A
GOOD THING I HAD MIKE NEWCOMB THERE TODAY

AND IT'S A GOOD THING I HAD MIKE
NEWCOMB THERE TODAY TO GIVE ME A HAND.

MIKE NEWCOMB THERE TODAY TO
GIVE ME A HAND. >> OH, HOW IS HE?



TO GIVE ME A HAND. >>
OH, HOW IS HE? >> JUST FINE.

OH, HOW IS HE? >> JUST FINE.
AND GUESS WHAT, HE TOLD ME

JUST FINE. AND GUESS WHAT, HE
TOLD ME HE'S GOT A NEW GIRLFRIEND.

AND GUESS WHAT, HE TOLD ME HE'S
GOT A NEW GIRLFRIEND. >> HE HAS?

HE'S GOT A NEW GIRLFRIEND. >> HE
HAS? >> AND EVERY TIME I BUMPED

HE HAS? >> AND EVERY TIME I
BUMPED INTO HIM, HE WANTED TO TALK

AND EVERY TIME I BUMPED INTO
HIM, HE WANTED TO TALK ABOUT HER.

INTO HIM, HE WANTED TO TALK
ABOUT HER. >> I THINK THAT'S TERRIFIC.

ABOUT HER. >> I THINK THAT'S
TERRIFIC. IT'S ABOUT TIME HE STARTED

I THINK THAT'S TERRIFIC. IT'S ABOUT
TIME HE STARTED ENJOYING HIMSELF.

IT'S ABOUT TIME HE STARTED ENJOYING
HIMSELF. IT'S BEEN ALMOST 2 YEARS

ENJOYING HIMSELF. IT'S BEEN
ALMOST 2 YEARS SINCE MARION DIED.

IT'S BEEN ALMOST 2 YEARS SINCE
MARION DIED. >> WELL, I KNOW HE'S SERIOUS

SINCE MARION DIED. >> WELL, I KNOW
HE'S SERIOUS BECAUSE HE'S BRINGING HER

WELL, I KNOW HE'S SERIOUS BECAUSE
HE'S BRINGING HER BY HERE TOMORROW.

BECAUSE HE'S BRINGING HER BY HERE
TOMORROW. >> WELL, I CERTAINLY AM GLAD

BY HERE TOMORROW. >> WELL, I
CERTAINLY AM GLAD HE'S HAPPY.

WELL, I CERTAINLY AM GLAD HE'S
HAPPY. AND CLIFF, I JUST WANT YOU

HE'S HAPPY. AND CLIFF, I JUST WANT
YOU TO KNOW THAT IF I DIE, YOU HAVE

AND CLIFF, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IF I
DIE, YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION TO MARRY AGAIN.

I... I HAVE YOUR
PERMISSION. >> YES. [LAUGHING]

YES. [LAUGHING]
BUT YOU'RE DEAD.

[LAUGHING] BUT YOU'RE DEAD.
I WANT YOU TO FIND A WOMAN

BUT YOU'RE DEAD. >> I WANT YOU TO
FIND A WOMAN WHO CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY

I WANT YOU TO FIND A WOMAN WHO CAN MAKE
YOU HAPPY AND HELP TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS.

WHO CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY AND HELP
TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS. >> THANK YOU.

AND HELP TAKE CARE OF THE
KIDS. >> THANK YOU. [LAUGHING]

THANK YOU.
[LAUGHING] >> WOULD YOU?

WOULD I WHAT? >> IF I
DIE, WOULD YOU MARRY AGAIN?

IF I DIE, WOULD YOU MARRY
AGAIN? >> WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT

WOULD YOU MARRY AGAIN? >>
WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT WHEN IT HAPPENS.

WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT WHEN IT
HAPPENS. >> WE CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT THEN.

WHEN IT HAPPENS. >> WE CAN'T
TALK ABOUT IT THEN. >> OKAY.

WE CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT THEN.
OKAY. NO, THE ANSWER IS NO.

OKAY. NO, THE
ANSWER IS NO. I WOULDN'T.

NO, THE ANSWER IS NO. I WOULDN'T.
UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES

I WOULDN'T. >> UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES
IF I DIE WOULD YOU MARRY AGAIN.

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES IF I DIE WOULD YOU
MARRY AGAIN. YOU WOULD BE SINGLE FOREVER?

IF I DIE WOULD YOU MARRY AGAIN.
YOU WOULD BE SINGLE FOREVER? >> YES.

YOU WOULD BE SINGLE FOREVER? >>
YES. >> WOULD YOU DATE SOMEBODY?

YES. >> WOULD YOU DATE
SOMEBODY? >> NO, I WOULDN'T.

WOULD YOU DATE SOMEBODY? >>
NO, I WOULDN'T. >> OKAY CLIFF, I'M DEAD.

NO, I WOULDN'T. >> OKAY
CLIFF, I'M DEAD. I'M GONE.

OKAY CLIFF, I'M DEAD. I'M
GONE. >> AND YOU'RE STILL

I'M GONE. >> AND YOU'RE
STILL IN THE BED WITH ME?

WHAT IF YOU MET A GORGEOUS
INTERNATIONAL-TYPE BEAUTY? >> NOT INTERESTED.

INTERNATIONAL-TYPE BEAUTY? >> NOT
INTERESTED. >> OR YOU MET A WOMAN

NOT INTERESTED. >> OR YOU
MET A WOMAN WHO COULD SING JAZZ?

OR YOU MET A WOMAN WHO
COULD SING JAZZ? >> LIKE LENA HORNE?

WHO COULD SING JAZZ? >> LIKE
LENA HORNE? >> AND CAN SCAT.

LIKE LENA HORNE? >> AND
CAN SCAT. >> LIKE ELLA FITZGERALD.

AND CAN SCAT. >> LIKE
ELLA FITZGERALD. >> YOU SEE.

LIKE ELLA FITZGERALD.
YOU SEE. >> NOT MY TYPE.

YOU SEE. >> NOT MY TYPE.
WELL, WHAT IS YOUR TYPE?

NOT MY TYPE. >> WELL,
WHAT IS YOUR TYPE? >> YOU.

WELL, WHAT IS YOUR TYPE?
YOU. >> OKAY, SAY YOU MET ME.

YOU. >> OKAY, SAY YOU
MET ME. >> YOU'RE DEAD.

OKAY, SAY YOU MET ME. >> YOU'RE
DEAD. >> WELL THEN, SOMEBODY OUT THERE

YOU'RE DEAD. >> WELL THEN,
SOMEBODY OUT THERE JUST LIKE ME.

WELL THEN, SOMEBODY OUT
THERE JUST LIKE ME. >> YOU'RE DEAD?

JUST LIKE ME. >>
YOU'RE DEAD? >> GONE.

YOU'RE DEAD? >> GONE. >>
OKAY NOW, YOU'RE NOT COMING

GONE. >> OKAY NOW, YOU'RE
NOT COMING BACK, ARE YOU?

OKAY NOW, YOU'RE NOT COMING
BACK, ARE YOU? >> NO CLIFF, I'M SERIOUS.

BACK, ARE YOU? >> NO CLIFF,
I'M SERIOUS. >> NO, I'M SERIOUS.

NO CLIFF, I'M SERIOUS. >> NO, I'M
SERIOUS. YOU'RE NOT COMING BACK, RIGHT?

NO, I'M SERIOUS. YOU'RE NOT COMING
BACK, RIGHT? >> I'M NOT COMING BACK.

YOU'RE NOT COMING BACK, RIGHT? >>
I'M NOT COMING BACK. >> SO, YOU'RE DEAD.

I'M NOT COMING BACK. >>
SO, YOU'RE DEAD. >> I'M DEAD.

SO, YOU'RE DEAD. >> I'M DEAD.
AND THEN I BUMP INTO THIS

I'M DEAD. >> AND THEN I BUMP INTO
THIS WOMAN AND SHE LOOKS EXACTLY

AND THEN I BUMP INTO THIS WOMAN
AND SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE YOU.

WOMAN AND SHE LOOKS EXACTLY
LIKE YOU. >> EXACTLY LIKE ME.

LIKE YOU. >> EXACTLY LIKE
ME. >> AND YOU'RE DEAD?

EXACTLY LIKE ME. >>
AND YOU'RE DEAD? OH BOY.

AND YOU'RE DEAD? OH BOY.
OKAY, SO THEN WHAT I WOULD DO

OH BOY. OKAY, SO THEN WHAT I
WOULD DO IS I WOULD CALL HER UP AND I

OKAY, SO THEN WHAT I WOULD DO IS I WOULD CALL
HER UP AND I WOULD ASK HER IF SHE WOULD GO

IS I WOULD CALL HER UP AND I WOULD ASK
HER IF SHE WOULD GO OUT ON A DATE WITH ME.

WOULD ASK HER IF SHE WOULD GO OUT ON A
DATE WITH ME. AND THEN I WOULD COURT HER

OUT ON A DATE WITH ME. AND THEN I WOULD
COURT HER AND I WOULD SEND HER FLOWERS

AND THEN I WOULD COURT HER AND I WOULD
SEND HER FLOWERS AND I WOULD CALL HER.

AND I WOULD SEND HER FLOWERS AND I
WOULD CALL HER. AND I WOULD INTRODUCE HER

AND I WOULD CALL HER. AND I WOULD
INTRODUCE HER TO THE CHILDREN.

AND I WOULD INTRODUCE HER TO THE
CHILDREN. AND THEN I WOULD MARRY HER

TO THE CHILDREN. AND THEN I WOULD
MARRY HER AND BRING HER IN HERE.

WOULD YOU KEEP MY PICTURE
UP? >> WELL DEAR, I DON'T HAVE

MY PICTURE UP? >> WELL DEAR, I DON'T
HAVE TO KEEP YOUR PICTURE UP BECAUSE

WELL DEAR, I DON'T HAVE TO KEEP YOUR PICTURE
UP BECAUSE SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE YOU.

TO KEEP YOUR PICTURE UP BECAUSE SHE
LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE YOU. >> GOODNIGHT CLIFF,

SHE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE YOU. >>
GOODNIGHT CLIFF, YOU NEED SOME SLEEP.

GOODNIGHT CLIFF, YOU
NEED SOME SLEEP. [LAUGHING]

YOU NEED SOME SLEEP.
[LAUGHING] [MUSIC]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY]

AH-AH-AH! >> DID WE
WAKE YOU? >> I FOUND IT!

DID WE WAKE YOU? >> I FOUND
IT! IT HAD COME DOWN THE HALLWAY

I FOUND IT! IT HAD COME DOWN
THE HALLWAY AND WENT INTO MY ROOM!

IT HAD COME DOWN THE HALLWAY AND
WENT INTO MY ROOM! I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING

AND WENT INTO MY ROOM! I
THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO EAT ME UP!

I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO EAT ME
UP! YOU SEE, THERE ARE CERTAIN WAYS

TO EAT ME UP! YOU SEE, THERE ARE
CERTAIN WAYS THAT I'M ACCUSTOMED

YOU SEE, THERE ARE CERTAIN WAYS
THAT I'M ACCUSTOMED TO WAKING UP:

THAT I'M ACCUSTOMED TO WAKING
UP: BACON, THE SMELL OF BAKING,

TO WAKING UP: BACON, THE SMELL OF
BAKING, THE SMELL OF COFFEE PERKING,

BACON, THE SMELL OF BAKING, THE SMELL
OF COFFEE PERKING, THE TWIRPING OF BIRDS.

THE SMELL OF COFFEE PERKING, THE TWIRPING
OF BIRDS. I CAN EVEN TAKE THE COLD,

THE TWIRPING OF BIRDS. I CAN EVEN
TAKE THE COLD, WET NOSE OF A SEA LION

I CAN EVEN TAKE THE COLD, WET
NOSE OF A SEA LION LICKING MY TOES.

WET NOSE OF A SEA LION LICKING
MY TOES. THIS IS WHAT THEY CREATED

LICKING MY TOES. THIS IS WHAT THEY
CREATED SO WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO HEAR THIS

THIS IS WHAT THEY CREATED SO WE
WOULDN'T HAVE TO HEAR THIS IN THE HOUSE.

SO WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO HEAR THIS
IN THE HOUSE. >> I ONLY HAVE ONE SET.

IN THE HOUSE. >> I ONLY HAVE
ONE SET. >> THEN PUT YOUR HEADS

I ONLY HAVE ONE SET. >>
THEN PUT YOUR HEADS TOGETHER.

THEN PUT YOUR HEADS TOGETHER.
YOU KNOW DAD, IF YOU JUST

TOGETHER. >> YOU KNOW DAD, IF
YOU JUST GAVE THIS MUSIC A CHANCE,

YOU KNOW DAD, IF YOU JUST GAVE THIS
MUSIC A CHANCE, YOU MIGHT GET INTO IT.

GAVE THIS MUSIC A CHANCE,
YOU MIGHT GET INTO IT. >> REALLY?

YOU MIGHT GET INTO
IT. >> REALLY? >> YEAH.

REALLY? >> YEAH.
OH, WHAT A THRILL.

YEAH. >> OH, WHAT
A THRILL. IS... IS THIS IT?

OH, WHAT A THRILL. IS... IS THIS
IT? >> YEAH DAD, THAT'S CLYDE.

IS... IS THIS IT? >> YEAH DAD, THAT'S
CLYDE. HE'S REALLY TALENTED.

YEAH DAD, THAT'S CLYDE.
HE'S REALLY TALENTED. >> I SEE.

HE'S REALLY TALENTED. >> I
SEE. WELL, BUT HE'S STICKING HIS

I SEE. WELL, BUT HE'S STICKING
HIS TONGUE OUT AND TATTOOED

WELL, BUT HE'S STICKING HIS TONGUE OUT
AND TATTOOED ON HIS TONGUE IS A CACTUS.

TONGUE OUT AND TATTOOED ON HIS TONGUE
IS A CACTUS. >> WELL DAD, IF YOU DON'T PAY

ON HIS TONGUE IS A CACTUS. >> WELL DAD, IF
YOU DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO CLYDE'S TONGUE

WELL DAD, IF YOU DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO
CLYDE'S TONGUE OR HIS MAKEUP AND JUST LISTEN

ATTENTION TO CLYDE'S TONGUE OR HIS MAKEUP
AND JUST LISTEN TO WHAT HE'S TRYING TO SAY.

OR HIS MAKEUP AND JUST LISTEN TO WHAT HE'S
TRYING TO SAY. >> WHAT IS HE TRYING TO SAY?

TO WHAT HE'S TRYING TO SAY. >> WHAT IS HE
TRYING TO SAY? >> HE'S SAYING THAT THE WORLD

WHAT IS HE TRYING TO SAY? >>
HE'S SAYING THAT THE WORLD IS CLOSED.

HE'S SAYING THAT THE WORLD IS
CLOSED. >> THE WORLD IS CLOSED.

IS CLOSED. >> THE WORLD IS
CLOSED. >> THE WORLD IS CLOSED.

THE WORLD IS CLOSED. >> THE WORLD
IS CLOSED. >> COULD THEY OPEN IT UP

THE WORLD IS CLOSED. >> COULD
THEY OPEN IT UP AND LET HIM OUT?

COULD THEY OPEN IT UP AND
LET HIM OUT? >> COME ON, DAD.

OW!

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO KEEP

MY PICTURE UP, HUH?

YES, I'LL KEEP

YOUR PICTURE UP, DEAR.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING

TO KEEP IT?

OUT IN THE HALLWAY.

AH!

WHERE?

[LAUGHING]

I'LL PUT IT IN THE CLOSET.

OH, SORRY.

WHERE?

OW!

I'LL PUT IT OVER THE BED.

A BLOWUP OVER THE BED,

CLIFF.

I WANT A BLOWUP OVER THE BED.

WITH LIGHTS.

YES.

YES.

YES.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO

WITH MY CLOTHES?

I'LL WEAR 'EM.

I'LL WEAR 'EM.

JUST BE SURE YOU DON'T LET

HER WEAR THEM.

OH NO, NO.

WHAT WILL THE CHILDREN

CALL HER, CLIFF?

LOLA.

AH!

OWEE!

OKAY, LISTEN DEAR, OUR FRIEND

OF 20 YEARS, MIKE, IS COMING

OVER THIS AFTERNOON.

WE GOT TO GET DOWNSTAIRS.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

I'M THINKING ABOUT IT.

DEAR, YOU KNOW,

YOU'VE GAINED WEIGHT.

AH!

NO, YOU LOST WEIGHT,

YOU LOST WEIGHT,

YOU LOST WEIGHT!

[LAUGHING]

I'LL MAKE YOU SOME COFFEE.

OKAY.

YOU KNOW I MADE THAT STATEMENT

UNDER DURESS.

WHAT WAS THAT?

I SAID YOU'RE THE BEST!

YOU'RE THE BEST!

[MUSIC]

THEO, HOW LONG YOU GOING TO DO
THIS? >> UNTIL YOU SAY YOU'RE SORRY.

TO DO THIS? >> UNTIL YOU SAY
YOU'RE SORRY. >> BUT I DIDN'T DO IT.

UNTIL YOU SAY YOU'RE SORRY.
BUT I DIDN'T DO IT. >> YOU'RE LYING!

BUT I DIDN'T DO IT. >> YOU'RE
LYING! >> WHAT'S THIS WORD?

YOU'RE LYING! >> WHAT'S
THIS WORD? >> ARMADILLO.

WHAT'S THIS WORD? >>
ARMADILLO. >> THANKS, VANESSA.

ARMADILLO. >> THANKS,
VANESSA. >> COME ON, VANESSA.

THANKS, VANESSA. >> COME
ON, VANESSA. I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY.

COME ON, VANESSA. I DON'T
HAVE ALL DAY. >> THEN LET GO.

I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY. >> THEN
LET GO. >> NO, NOW COME ON.

THEN LET GO. >> NO, NOW
COME ON. >> HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY,

NO, NOW COME ON. >> HEY, HEY,
HEY, HEY, HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, WHAT'S
GOING ON HERE? >> [TOGETHER] NOTHING.

WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? >>
[TOGETHER] NOTHING. >> REALLY?

[TOGETHER] NOTHING. >> REALLY?
WHY DO YOU HAVE YOUR SISTER

REALLY? WHY DO YOU HAVE
YOUR SISTER IN A FULL NELSON?

WHY DO YOU HAVE YOUR SISTER IN A
FULL NELSON? >> BECAUSE SHE PUT SHAVING

IN A FULL NELSON? >> BECAUSE SHE PUT
SHAVING CREAM IN MY SHOE AND SHE WON'T

BECAUSE SHE PUT SHAVING CREAM
IN MY SHOE AND SHE WON'T ADMIT IT.

CREAM IN MY SHOE AND SHE
WON'T ADMIT IT. >> DID YOU DO THAT

ADMIT IT. >> DID YOU DO
THAT TO YOUR BROTHER?

DID YOU DO THAT TO
YOUR BROTHER? >> YES!

TO YOUR BROTHER? >>
YES! >> DID HE DO SOMETHING

YES! >> DID HE DO
SOMETHING TO YOU FIRST?

DID HE DO SOMETHING
TO YOU FIRST? >> NO!

TO YOU FIRST? >> NO! >>
OH WELL THEN, CARRY ON.

NO! >> OH WELL THEN,
CARRY ON. [SCREAMING]

OH WELL THEN, CARRY ON.
[SCREAMING] >> YOU GO UPSTAIRS AND CLEAN

[SCREAMING] >> YOU GO UPSTAIRS
AND CLEAN HIS SHOES OUT.

YOU GO UPSTAIRS AND CLEAN HIS
SHOES OUT. >> YEAH, YOU CLEAN 'EM.

HIS SHOES OUT. >> YEAH, YOU
CLEAN 'EM. I WANT YOU TO POLISH 'EM...

YEAH, YOU CLEAN 'EM. I WANT
YOU TO POLISH 'EM... [DOORBELL RINGS]

MIKE! >> UH-HUH, HEY
CLIFF, HOW YOU DOING?

UH-HUH, HEY CLIFF, HOW YOU
DOING? I WANT YOU TO MEET NICKI.

HOW YOU DOING? I WANT
YOU TO MEET NICKI. >> HI.

I WANT YOU TO MEET
NICKI. >> HI. >> NICKI.

HI. >> NICKI.
NICKI PHILLIPS.

NICKI. >> NICKI
PHILLIPS. >> OKAY.

NICKI PHILLIPS. >> OKAY.
IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU,

OKAY. >> IT'S NICE TO
MEET YOU, DR. HUXTABLE.

IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU, DR. HUXTABLE.
I'VE HEARD AN AWFUL LOT OF NICE

DR. HUXTABLE. I'VE HEARD AN
AWFUL LOT OF NICE THINGS ABOUT YOU.

I'VE HEARD AN AWFUL LOT OF NICE THINGS
ABOUT YOU. >> OH, JUST CALL ME CLIFF.

THINGS ABOUT YOU. >> OH,
JUST CALL ME CLIFF. COME ON IN.

OH, JUST CALL ME CLIFF.
COME ON IN. >> THANK YOU.

COME ON IN. >> THANK YOU.
SO, DID YOU RECOVER FROM

THANK YOU. >> SO, DID YOU RECOVER
FROM LAST NIGHT AND GET SOME SLEEP?

SO, DID YOU RECOVER FROM LAST NIGHT AND GET
SOME SLEEP? >> YEAH, I GOT A LITTLE SLEEP.

LAST NIGHT AND GET SOME SLEEP? >> YEAH, I GOT
A LITTLE SLEEP. >> NICKI, THIS GUY IS BAD.

YEAH, I GOT A LITTLE SLEEP. >>
NICKI, THIS GUY IS BAD. [LAUGHING]

NICKI, THIS GUY IS
BAD. [LAUGHING] >> BAD!

[LAUGHING] >> BAD!
LAST NIGHT HE TAKES

BAD! LAST NIGHT HE TAKES
MRS. SUMMERS, WHO DELIVERED

LAST NIGHT HE TAKES MRS. SUMMERS, WHO
DELIVERED IN 20 MINUTES, AND HE TALKS ME

MRS. SUMMERS, WHO DELIVERED IN 20 MINUTES, AND
HE TALKS ME INTO MRS. SHIPLEY WHOSE HUSBAND

IN 20 MINUTES, AND HE TALKS ME INTO MRS.
SHIPLEY WHOSE HUSBAND WAS RUNNING AROUND TAKING

INTO MRS. SHIPLEY WHOSE HUSBAND WAS RUNNING
AROUND TAKING PICTURES OF EVERYTHING

WAS RUNNING AROUND TAKING PICTURES
OF EVERYTHING AND KEPT SAYING TO ME,

PICTURES OF EVERYTHING AND
KEPT SAYING TO ME, "I MISSED IT,

AND KEPT SAYING TO ME, "I
MISSED IT, COULD YOU DO IT AGAIN?"

"I MISSED IT, COULD YOU DO IT
AGAIN?" >> WELL, LET ME GO GET...

COULD YOU DO IT AGAIN?" >>
WELL, LET ME GO GET... GET CLAIR.

WELL, LET ME GO
GET... GET CLAIR. >> OKAY.

GET CLAIR. >> OKAY. >> OKAY.

OKAY. >> OKAY. >>
THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE.

OKAY. >> THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL
HOUSE. >> YEAH, I BUILT IT FROM A KIT.

ARE THEY HERE? >> YEAH, THEY'RE
HERE. >> WELL, WHAT'S SHE LIKE?

YEAH, THEY'RE HERE. >>
WELL, WHAT'S SHE LIKE? [LAUGHING]

WELL, WHAT'S SHE LIKE? [LAUGHING]
SHE'S GOT TWO ARMS, TWO LEGS.

[LAUGHING] SHE'S GOT TWO ARMS,
TWO LEGS. >> OH, COME ON, CLIFF,

SHE'S GOT TWO ARMS, TWO LEGS. >> OH,
COME ON, CLIFF, SHE CAN'T BE THAT BAD.

OH, COME ON, CLIFF, SHE CAN'T BE
THAT BAD. >> NO, SHE'S NOT BAD AT ALL.

WHERE IS SHE?

SHE'S SITTING BESIDE HIM
ON THE SOFA.

[WHISPERING] CLIFF. CLIFF, THAT IS
NO WOMAN. THAT'S SOMEBODY'S CHILD.

CLIFF, THAT IS NO WOMAN. THAT'S
SOMEBODY'S CHILD. >> NOW LOOK, WE'RE ALL

THAT'S SOMEBODY'S CHILD. >> NOW
LOOK, WE'RE ALL SOMEBODY'S CHILD.

NOW LOOK, WE'RE ALL SOMEBODY'S
CHILD. >> WELL, SHE CERTAINLY DOES

SOMEBODY'S CHILD. >> WELL,
SHE CERTAINLY DOES LOOK YOUNG.

WELL, SHE CERTAINLY DOES LOOK
YOUNG. >> YES, BUT YOU'RE LOOKING

LOOK YOUNG. >> YES, BUT YOU'RE
LOOKING AT HER FROM A DISTANCE.

YES, BUT YOU'RE LOOKING AT HER FROM
A DISTANCE. >> WELL, WHAT DOES SHE LOOK

AT HER FROM A DISTANCE. >> WELL,
WHAT DOES SHE LOOK LIKE UP CLOSE?

WELL, WHAT DOES SHE LOOK
LIKE UP CLOSE? >> YOUNGER.

LIKE UP CLOSE?
YOUNGER. >> OH.

YOUNGER. >> OH.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,

OH. >> NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO, WAIT A MINUTE.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, WAIT A
MINUTE. MAYBE SHE'S FROM THAT PART

WAIT A MINUTE. MAYBE SHE'S FROM THAT
PART OF RUSSIA WHERE THEY EAT NOTHING

MAYBE SHE'S FROM THAT PART OF RUSSIA WHERE
THEY EAT NOTHING BUT YOGURT ALL THE TIME.

OF RUSSIA WHERE THEY EAT NOTHING BUT YOGURT
ALL THE TIME. NOW LOOK, YOU... LOOK AT YOU.

BUT YOGURT ALL THE TIME. NOW
LOOK, YOU... LOOK AT YOU. COME ON NOW.

NOW LOOK, YOU... LOOK AT YOU. COME
ON NOW. LOOK, YOU'VE GOT TO BEHAVE.

COME ON NOW. LOOK, YOU'VE
GOT TO BEHAVE. >> NO, YOU BEHAVE.

LOOK, YOU'VE GOT TO BEHAVE. >> NO,
YOU BEHAVE. >> NO NO, YOU BEHAVE.

NO, YOU BEHAVE. >> NO
NO, YOU BEHAVE. >> NO, YOU...

NO NO, YOU BEHAVE.
NO, YOU... >> NO, YOU...

NO, YOU... >> NO, YOU...
YOU BEHAVE BECAUSE

NO, YOU... >> YOU BEHAVE
BECAUSE I'M NOT SAYING ANYTHING.

YOU BEHAVE BECAUSE I'M NOT
SAYING ANYTHING. >> WELL, WHAT IS THAT?

I'M NOT SAYING ANYTHING. >> WELL,
WHAT IS THAT? >> WELL, I CAN'T HELP IT.

WELL, WHAT IS THAT? >> WELL, I
CAN'T HELP IT. >> LOOK, WE OWE IT TO HIM.

WELL, I CAN'T HELP IT. >> LOOK, WE
OWE IT TO HIM. WE ARE HIS CLOSEST FRIENDS.

LOOK, WE OWE IT TO HIM. WE
ARE HIS CLOSEST FRIENDS. BE NICE.

WE ARE HIS CLOSEST FRIENDS.
BE NICE. GIVE HIM A CHANCE, OKAY?

BE NICE. GIVE HIM A CHANCE,
OKAY? >> OKAY, YOU TAKE THE COFFEE

GIVE HIM A CHANCE, OKAY? >> OKAY,
YOU TAKE THE COFFEE AND I'LL GET

OKAY, YOU TAKE THE COFFEE
AND I'LL GET THE CHOCOLATE MILK.

HI!
[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

MIKE TOLD ME THAT HE WAS YOUR
RESIDENT PHYSICIAN WHEN YOU WERE AN INTERN,

YOUR RESIDENT PHYSICIAN WHEN
YOU WERE AN INTERN, DR. HUXTABLE.

WHEN YOU WERE AN INTERN,
DR. HUXTABLE. >> THAT IS CORRECT, YEAH.

DR. HUXTABLE. >> THAT IS CORRECT,
YEAH. >> NICKI, OF ALL THE INTERNS

THAT IS CORRECT, YEAH. >> NICKI, OF
ALL THE INTERNS I EVER HAD, THIS GUY WAS

NICKI, OF ALL THE INTERNS I
EVER HAD, THIS GUY WAS THE BEST.

I EVER HAD, THIS GUY
WAS THE BEST. >> COME ON.

THE BEST. >> COME ON.
AH, ISN'T THAT WHAT

COME ON. >> AH, ISN'T THAT
WHAT YOU KEPT TELLING ME?

AH, ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU KEPT
TELLING ME? >> HOW DID YOU TWO MEET?

YOU KEPT TELLING ME? >> HOW DID YOU
TWO MEET? >> WE MET AT NYU EXTENSION.

HOW DID YOU TWO MEET? >> WE MET AT NYU
EXTENSION. I WAS TAKING SHAKESPEARE AND HE

WE MET AT NYU EXTENSION. I WAS TAKING
SHAKESPEARE AND HE WAS TAKING A COOKING CLASS.

I WAS TAKING SHAKESPEARE AND HE WAS TAKING
A COOKING CLASS. >> I ALWAYS WANTED TO LEARN

WAS TAKING A COOKING CLASS. >> I
ALWAYS WANTED TO LEARN HOW TO COOK.

I ALWAYS WANTED TO LEARN
HOW TO COOK. >> MM-HMM.

HOW TO COOK. >> MM-HMM.
HE GOT IN THE ELEVATOR

MM-HMM. >> HE GOT IN THE ELEVATOR
WITH ME AND HE HAD HIS FINISHED

HE GOT IN THE ELEVATOR WITH ME AND HE
HAD HIS FINISHED SOUFFLÉ THAT HAD FALLEN,

WITH ME AND HE HAD HIS FINISHED SOUFFLÉ THAT
HAD FALLEN, AND HE LOOKED REALLY DEPRESSED

SOUFFLÉ THAT HAD FALLEN, AND HE
LOOKED REALLY DEPRESSED AND CUTE.

AND HE LOOKED REALLY
DEPRESSED AND CUTE. [LAUGHING]

AND CUTE. [LAUGHING]
THAT'S VERY ROMANTIC.

[LAUGHING] >> THAT'S VERY ROMANTIC.
ON OUR FIRST DATE, CLIFF CAME

THAT'S VERY ROMANTIC. ON OUR FIRST
DATE, CLIFF CAME OVER TO MY HOUSE AND JUST

ON OUR FIRST DATE, CLIFF CAME OVER TO
MY HOUSE AND JUST SAT THERE FOR 2 HOURS.

OVER TO MY HOUSE AND JUST SAT THERE
FOR 2 HOURS. >> WHY DON'T YOU TELL 'EM THAT

SAT THERE FOR 2 HOURS. >> WHY DON'T YOU
TELL 'EM THAT YOUR FATHER SAT BETWEEN US?

WHY DON'T YOU TELL 'EM THAT YOUR FATHER
SAT BETWEEN US? >> MIKE SAYS YOU HAVE

YOUR FATHER SAT BETWEEN US? >> MIKE
SAYS YOU HAVE THE PERFECT MARRIAGE.

MIKE SAYS YOU HAVE THE PERFECT
MARRIAGE. >> WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF WE CAN

THE PERFECT MARRIAGE. >> WELL, I
DON'T KNOW IF WE CAN LIVE UP TO THAT.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF WE CAN LIVE UP
TO THAT. >> YEAH, WELL I KEEP UP MY HALF.

LIVE UP TO THAT. >> YEAH, WELL I KEEP
UP MY HALF. [ROCK MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY]

YEAH, WELL I KEEP UP MY HALF.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY] >> HEY!

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY]
HEY! HOLD IT DOWN UP THERE!

HEY! HOLD IT DOWN
UP THERE! >> OKAY DAD!

HOLD IT DOWN UP THERE! >> OKAY
DAD! >> I WOKE UP TO THAT MESS

OKAY DAD! >> I WOKE UP
TO THAT MESS THIS MORNING.

I WOKE UP TO THAT MESS THIS
MORNING. >> YOU DON'T LIKE CLYDE?

THIS MORNING. >> YOU DON'T LIKE
CLYDE? >> CLIFF AND CLYDE AREN'T

YOU DON'T LIKE CLYDE? >> CLIFF AND
CLYDE AREN'T EXACTLY THE BEST OF FRIENDS.

CLIFF AND CLYDE AREN'T EXACTLY THE BEST
OF FRIENDS. >> WELL, YOU'VE GOT TO DEVELOP

EXACTLY THE BEST OF FRIENDS. >> WELL,
YOU'VE GOT TO DEVELOP A TASTE FOR HIM.

WELL, YOU'VE GOT TO DEVELOP A TASTE
FOR HIM. YOU SHOULD SEE HIM IN CONCERT.

A TASTE FOR HIM. YOU SHOULD SEE
HIM IN CONCERT. >> YOU DIDN'T GO TO

YOU SHOULD SEE HIM IN CONCERT. >>
YOU DIDN'T GO TO A CLYDE CONCERT?

YOU DIDN'T GO TO A
CLYDE CONCERT? >> YEAH.

A CLYDE CONCERT?
YEAH. [LAUGHING]

YEAH. [LAUGHING]
I GOT HIM TICKETS

[LAUGHING] >> I GOT HIM
TICKETS FOR HIS BIRTHDAY.

I GOT HIM TICKETS FOR HIS
BIRTHDAY. >> WE HAD A GREAT TIME.

FOR HIS BIRTHDAY. >> WE HAD
A GREAT TIME. >> THIS IS CLYDE,

WE HAD A GREAT TIME. >> THIS
IS CLYDE, THE GUY WITH THE TONGUE

THIS IS CLYDE, THE GUY WITH
THE TONGUE AND THE TATTOO OF THE...

THE GUY WITH THE TONGUE AND THE
TATTOO OF THE... >> WAIT A MINUTE, CLIFF.

AND THE TATTOO OF THE... >> WAIT A
MINUTE, CLIFF. I GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

WAIT A MINUTE, CLIFF. I GOT TO TELL
YOU SOMETHING. SOME OF HIS LYRICS

I GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
SOME OF HIS LYRICS ARE PRETTY GOOD.

SOME OF HIS LYRICS ARE
PRETTY GOOD. LISTEN TO THIS,

ARE PRETTY GOOD. LISTEN TO
THIS, "IN THE HEART OF DARKNESS,

LISTEN TO THIS, "IN THE HEART OF
DARKNESS, I LOOK FOR THE FLAME.

"IN THE HEART OF DARKNESS, I LOOK
FOR THE FLAME. IN THE SOUND OF THE WIND,

I LOOK FOR THE FLAME. IN THE SOUND
OF THE WIND, I LISTEN FOR YOUR NAME.

IN THE SOUND OF THE WIND, I LISTEN
FOR YOUR NAME. I STOP AND DISCOVER

I LISTEN FOR YOUR NAME. I STOP AND
DISCOVER YOU'RE ALL THINGS TO ME."

I STOP AND DISCOVER YOU'RE ALL
THINGS TO ME." >> THAT'S LOVELY.

YOU'RE ALL THINGS TO ME." >> THAT'S
LOVELY. >> IT'S LOVELY BECAUSE HE SAID

THAT'S LOVELY. >> IT'S LOVELY
BECAUSE HE SAID THE WORDS.

IT'S LOVELY BECAUSE HE
SAID THE WORDS. MR. CLYDE SAYS,

THE WORDS. MR. CLYDE
SAYS, [SCREAMING]

[LAUGHING] >> WELL CLIFF, I
GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

WELL CLIFF, I GOT TO TELL YOU
SOMETHING. I AM NOW LISTENING TO HER CLYDE

TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. I AM NOW LISTENING
TO HER CLYDE ALBUMS AND I GOT HER LISTENING

I AM NOW LISTENING TO HER CLYDE ALBUMS AND I
GOT HER LISTENING TO MY MILES DAVIS ALBUMS.

ALBUMS AND I GOT HER LISTENING
TO MY MILES DAVIS ALBUMS. >> AH NOW!

TO MY MILES DAVIS ALBUMS. >> AH
NOW! NOW, YOU LIKE THAT, DON'T YOU?

AH NOW! NOW, YOU LIKE THAT,
DON'T YOU? >> NO, NOT HIS EARLIER

NOW, YOU LIKE THAT, DON'T YOU?
NO, NOT HIS EARLIER RECORDINGS.

NO, NOT HIS EARLIER RECORDINGS.
BUT I LIKE HIS MORE RECENT

RECORDINGS. BUT I LIKE
HIS MORE RECENT STUFF.

BUT I LIKE HIS MORE RECENT
STUFF. I JUST WISH HE WOULD SING.

STUFF. I JUST WISH HE WOULD
SING. >> NICKI, WE GOT TO BE GOING.

I JUST WISH HE WOULD SING. >> NICKI, WE
GOT TO BE GOING. WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE

NICKI, WE GOT TO BE GOING. WE'RE
SUPPOSED TO BE ON A RACQUETBALL COURT

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON A
RACQUETBALL COURT IN ABOUT 5 MINUTES.

ON A RACQUETBALL COURT IN ABOUT
5 MINUTES. >> HE'S TEACHING ME HOW

IN ABOUT 5 MINUTES. >> HE'S
TEACHING ME HOW TO PLAY.

HE'S TEACHING ME HOW TO
PLAY. >> WELL, IT'S CERTAINLY NICE

TO PLAY. >> WELL, IT'S
CERTAINLY NICE TO MEET YOU.

WELL, IT'S CERTAINLY NICE
TO MEET YOU. >> THANK YOU.

TO MEET YOU. >> THANK YOU.
I HOPE WE CAN ALL GO OUT

THANK YOU. I HOPE WE
CAN ALL GO OUT SOMETIME.

I HOPE WE CAN ALL GO OUT
SOMETIME. >> YEAH, WE'LL GO TO

SOMETIME. >> YEAH, WE'LL
GO TO A MILES DAVIS CONCERT.

YEAH, WE'LL GO TO A MILES DAVIS
CONCERT. I'LL GO BACKSTAGE AND SEE IF

A MILES DAVIS CONCERT. I'LL GO
BACKSTAGE AND SEE IF I CAN GET HIM TO SING.

I'LL GO BACKSTAGE AND SEE IF I
CAN GET HIM TO SING. >> OH GREAT!

I CAN GET HIM TO SING. >> OH
GREAT! >> NICKI, DO ME A FAVOR.

OH GREAT! >> NICKI, DO ME A
FAVOR. DO YOU WANT TO START THE CAR

NICKI, DO ME A FAVOR. DO YOU
WANT TO START THE CAR FOR ME?

DO YOU WANT TO START THE CAR
FOR ME? I'LL BE OUT IN A MINUTE, OKAY?

FOR ME? I'LL BE OUT IN A
MINUTE, OKAY? >> OKAY.

I'LL BE OUT IN A MINUTE,
OKAY? >> OKAY. BYE!

OKAY. BYE! >> BYE-BYE.

BYE! >> BYE-BYE.
LISTEN, I SUPPOSE

BYE-BYE. >> LISTEN, I SUPPOSE I
SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU HOW YOUNG

LISTEN, I SUPPOSE I SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU
HOW YOUNG SHE WAS BEFORE I CAME OVER,

I SHOULD'VE TOLD YOU HOW YOUNG SHE WAS BEFORE
I CAME OVER, BUT I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO MAKE UP

SHE WAS BEFORE I CAME OVER, BUT I DIDN'T WANT
YOU TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND BEFORE YOU MET HER.

BUT I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND
BEFORE YOU MET HER. >> WELL, SHE SEEMS LIKE

YOUR MIND BEFORE YOU MET HER. >>
WELL, SHE SEEMS LIKE A VERY LOVELY PERSON.

WELL, SHE SEEMS LIKE A VERY
LOVELY PERSON. >> WE WISH YOU THE BEST

A VERY LOVELY PERSON. >>
WE WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK.

WE WISH YOU THE BEST
OF LUCK. >> THAT'S GREAT.

OF LUCK. >> THAT'S
GREAT. THANK YOU, CLAIR.

THAT'S GREAT. THANK
YOU, CLAIR. >> BYE MIKE.

THANK YOU, CLAIR. >> BYE
MIKE. >> I LOVE YOU BOTH.

BYE MIKE. >> I LOVE
YOU BOTH. >> THANK YOU.

I LOVE YOU BOTH. >>
THANK YOU. TAKE CARE, MIKE.

HOW OLD IS MIKE? >> HE'S 53.
HOW OLD DO YOU THINK SHE IS?

HE'S 53. >> HOW OLD DO
YOU THINK SHE IS? >> UNDER 53.

HOW OLD DO YOU THINK SHE
IS? >> UNDER 53. >> WELL, CLIFF,

UNDER 53. >> WELL,
CLIFF, I HAVE TO CONFESS.

WELL, CLIFF, I HAVE TO CONFESS.
THE WHOLE TIME THEY WERE HERE,

I HAVE TO CONFESS. THE WHOLE TIME THEY
WERE HERE, I KEPT LOOKING FOR SOMETHING

THE WHOLE TIME THEY WERE HERE, I KEPT LOOKING
FOR SOMETHING TO BE WRONG WITH HER, YOU KNOW,

I KEPT LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO BE WRONG WITH
HER, YOU KNOW, LIKE MAYBE SHE WAS A BUBBLE

TO BE WRONG WITH HER, YOU KNOW, LIKE
MAYBE SHE WAS A BUBBLE BRAIN OR SOMETHING.

LIKE MAYBE SHE WAS A BUBBLE
BRAIN OR SOMETHING. >> MM-HMM.

BRAIN OR SOMETHING. >>
MM-HMM. >> SHE WASN'T.

MM-HMM. >> SHE WASN'T. >> NO.

SHE WASN'T. >> NO.
WELL, SHE'S VERY INTELLIGENT

NO. WELL, SHE'S VERY INTELLIGENT
AND THEY LOOK VERY HAPPY

WELL, SHE'S VERY INTELLIGENT AND
THEY LOOK VERY HAPPY TOGETHER.

AND THEY LOOK VERY HAPPY TOGETHER.
WHO WERE YOU GUYS TALKING

TOGETHER. >> WHO WERE
YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?

WHO WERE YOU GUYS TALKING
ABOUT? >> MIKE NEWCOMB, HE WAS HERE

ABOUT? >> MIKE NEWCOMB,
HE WAS HERE TODAY.

MIKE NEWCOMB, HE WAS
HERE TODAY. >> DR. NEWCOMB?

TODAY. >>
DR. NEWCOMB? HOW IS HE?

DR. NEWCOMB? HOW IS
HE? >> HE SEEMS TO BE DOING

HOW IS HE? >> HE SEEMS
TO BE DOING PRETTY WELL.

HE SEEMS TO BE DOING PRETTY
WELL. >> DR. NEWCOMB IS 53 YEARS OLD,

PRETTY WELL. >> DR. NEWCOMB IS 53
YEARS OLD, AND HE IS DATING A VERY YOUNG

DR. NEWCOMB IS 53 YEARS OLD,
AND HE IS DATING A VERY YOUNG WOMAN.

AND HE IS DATING A VERY
YOUNG WOMAN. >> HOW YOUNG?

WOMAN. >> HOW YOUNG?
ABOUT YOUR AGE.

HOW YOUNG? >> ABOUT
YOUR AGE. >> REALLY?

ABOUT YOUR AGE. >>
REALLY? IS IT SERIOUS?

REALLY? IS IT SERIOUS? >>
WELL, THEY SEEM COMPATIBLE.

IS IT SERIOUS? >> WELL, THEY SEEM
COMPATIBLE. >> AH, GOOD FOR HIM.

WELL, THEY SEEM COMPATIBLE. >> AH,
GOOD FOR HIM. >> WOULD YOU CONSIDER DATING

AH, GOOD FOR HIM. >> WOULD YOU
CONSIDER DATING A MAN THAT AGE?

WOULD YOU CONSIDER DATING A MAN
THAT AGE? >> WELL, IF I MET A MAN THAT I

A MAN THAT AGE? >> WELL, IF I MET A
MAN THAT I REALLY LIKED, I WOULDN'T CARE

WELL, IF I MET A MAN THAT I REALLY
LIKED, I WOULDN'T CARE ABOUT HIS AGE.

REALLY LIKED, I WOULDN'T CARE ABOUT
HIS AGE. >> SO, WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS

ABOUT HIS AGE. >> SO, WHAT YOU'RE
SAYING IS THAT AGE HAS NOTHING TO DO

SO, WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS THAT
AGE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HAPPINESS?

THAT AGE HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH HAPPINESS? >> THAT'S RIGHT.

WITH HAPPINESS? >> THAT'S
RIGHT. >> WELL, LET ME GIVE YOU

THAT'S RIGHT. >> WELL,
LET ME GIVE YOU AN EXAMPLE.

WELL, LET ME GIVE YOU
AN EXAMPLE. SUPPOSE I DIED

AN EXAMPLE. SUPPOSE I DIED
AND YOUR MOTHER CAME HOME

SUPPOSE I DIED AND YOUR MOTHER
CAME HOME WITH A 19-YEAR-OLD BOY.

AND YOUR MOTHER CAME HOME
WITH A 19-YEAR-OLD BOY. >> YEAH.

WITH A 19-YEAR-OLD BOY. >>
YEAH. >> WELL, WHAT DO YOU MEAN

YEAH. >> WELL, WHAT
DO YOU MEAN "YEAH"?

WELL, WHAT DO YOU
MEAN "YEAH"? I MEAN, I'M DEAD

"YEAH"? I MEAN, I'M DEAD
AND YOU CAN'T EVEN MOURN

I MEAN, I'M DEAD AND YOU CAN'T
EVEN MOURN FOR A TENTH OF A SECOND.

AND YOU CAN'T EVEN MOURN FOR A TENTH
OF A SECOND. >> DAD, YOU'RE NOT DEAD.

FOR A TENTH OF A SECOND. >> DAD, YOU'RE
NOT DEAD. YOU'RE SITTING RIGHT HERE.

DAD, YOU'RE NOT DEAD. YOU'RE SITTING
RIGHT HERE. THIS IS A HYPOTHETICAL DEATH.

YOU'RE SITTING RIGHT HERE. THIS IS A
HYPOTHETICAL DEATH. >> OKAY, IT'S A HYPOTHETICAL

THIS IS A HYPOTHETICAL DEATH. >> OKAY, IT'S A
HYPOTHETICAL DEATH, BUT YOU DIDN'T EVEN TAKE

OKAY, IT'S A HYPOTHETICAL DEATH, BUT YOU
DIDN'T EVEN TAKE TIME OUT FOR A HYPOTHETICAL

DEATH, BUT YOU DIDN'T EVEN TAKE
TIME OUT FOR A HYPOTHETICAL MOURNING.

TIME OUT FOR A HYPOTHETICAL
MOURNING. I MEAN, IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOU

MOURNING. I MEAN, IT'S ALMOST
LIKE YOU WISH I WAS DEAD.

I MEAN, IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOU WISH I
WAS DEAD. >> NO DAD, I DON'T WANT YOU

WISH I WAS DEAD. >> NO
DAD, I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE.

NO DAD, I DON'T WANT
YOU TO DIE. >> ARE YOU SURE?

TO DIE. >> ARE YOU SURE? >> YES!

ARE YOU SURE? >> YES!
CLIFF, WHAT'S THE POINT?

YES! >> CLIFF, WHAT'S THE
POINT? >> THE POINT IS I'M DEAD

CLIFF, WHAT'S THE POINT? >> THE POINT
IS I'M DEAD AND YOU ALL HAVE ME OUT ON

THE POINT IS I'M DEAD AND YOU ALL HAVE
ME OUT ON THE SIDEWALK WITH THE GARBAGE.

AND YOU ALL HAVE ME OUT ON THE SIDEWALK WITH
THE GARBAGE. >> CLIFF, YOU'RE A WONDERFUL

THE SIDEWALK WITH THE GARBAGE. >> CLIFF,
YOU'RE A WONDERFUL HUSBAND AND A LOVING FATHER.

CLIFF, YOU'RE A WONDERFUL HUSBAND AND
A LOVING FATHER. BUT DARLING, YOU DO HAVE

HUSBAND AND A LOVING FATHER.
BUT DARLING, YOU DO HAVE A PROBLEM.

BUT DARLING, YOU DO HAVE A
PROBLEM. YOU NEVER GET TO THE POINT.

A PROBLEM. YOU NEVER GET TO
THE POINT. >> I AM TRYING TO GET

YOU NEVER GET TO THE POINT. >>
I AM TRYING TO GET TO THE POINT.

I AM TRYING TO GET TO THE
POINT. >> ALRIGHT CLIFF, OKAY,

TO THE POINT. >> ALRIGHT
CLIFF, OKAY, GO AHEAD.

ALRIGHT CLIFF, OKAY,
GO AHEAD. IF YOU DIE...

GO AHEAD. IF YOU
DIE... >> NEVER MIND.

IF YOU DIE... >> NEVER
MIND. >> NEVER MIND WHAT?

NEVER MIND. >> NEVER
MIND WHAT? >> DENISE.

NEVER MIND WHAT?
DENISE. >> HEY.

DENISE. >> HEY. >>
DENISE, MY FRIEND, SIT DOWN.

HEY. >> DENISE, MY FRIEND,
SIT DOWN. NOW, I WANT TO ASK YOU

DENISE, MY FRIEND, SIT DOWN. NOW, I WANT
TO ASK YOU A HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION, OKAY?

NOW, I WANT TO ASK YOU A
HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION, OKAY? >> OKAY.

A HYPOTHETICAL QUESTION, OKAY? >>
OKAY. >> ALRIGHT NOW, SUPPOSE I DIED.

OKAY. >> ALRIGHT NOW,
SUPPOSE I DIED. >> YEAH.

ALRIGHT NOW, SUPPOSE I DIED. >>
YEAH. >> BOY, THIS IS A COLD FAMILY.

YEAH. >> BOY, THIS IS
A COLD FAMILY. >> WHAT?

BOY, THIS IS A COLD FAMILY. >>
WHAT? DADDY, WHAT'S THE POINT?

WHAT? DADDY, WHAT'S
THE POINT? >> SUPPOSE I DIED

DADDY, WHAT'S THE POINT? >> SUPPOSE
I DIED AND YOUR MOTHER CAME HOME

SUPPOSE I DIED AND YOUR
MOTHER CAME HOME WITH A YOUNG BOY.

AND YOUR MOTHER CAME HOME WITH A
YOUNG BOY. >> WELL, HOW CUTE IS HE?

WITH A YOUNG BOY. >> WELL,
HOW CUTE IS HE? >> A HUNK.

WELL, HOW CUTE IS HE?
A HUNK. >> HOW YOUNG?

A HUNK. >> HOW
YOUNG? >> NINETEEN.

HOW YOUNG? >> NINETEEN.
WELL, WHERE ARE HIS PARENTS

NINETEEN. >> WELL, WHERE
ARE HIS PARENTS GOING TO SLEEP?

WELL, WHERE ARE HIS PARENTS
GOING TO SLEEP? [LAUGHING]

GOING TO SLEEP?
[LAUGHING] I'M KIDDING.

[LAUGHING] I'M
KIDDING. I'M KIDDING.

I'M KIDDING. I'M KIDDING.
WHERE IS HE GOING TO SLEEP?

I'M KIDDING. WHERE IS HE
GOING TO SLEEP? >> WELL, THIS IS

WHERE IS HE GOING TO SLEEP? >>
WELL, THIS IS YOUR FATHER'S STORY.

WELL, THIS IS YOUR FATHER'S
STORY. HE WILL HAVE TO DESIGNATE

YOUR FATHER'S STORY. HE WILL HAVE TO
DESIGNATE WHERE THE YOUNG MAN WILL SLEEP.

HE WILL HAVE TO DESIGNATE WHERE THE YOUNG
MAN WILL SLEEP. I DO HOPE IT'S WITH ME.

WHERE THE YOUNG MAN WILL SLEEP.
I DO HOPE IT'S WITH ME. [LAUGHING]

OKAY, HE'S WITH YOU, YEAH,
IN THIS HOUSE. >> THANK YOU.

IN THIS HOUSE. >> THANK YOU.
BUT MY GHOST IS IN THAT ROOM.

THANK YOU. BUT MY GHOST IS IN THAT
ROOM. >> DADDY, WHY ARE YOU BRINGING

BUT MY GHOST IS IN THAT ROOM. >>
DADDY, WHY ARE YOU BRINGING THIS UP?

DADDY, WHY ARE YOU BRINGING
THIS UP? >> I'M BRINGING THIS UP

THIS UP? >> I'M BRINGING THIS
UP BECAUSE... I DON'T REMEMBER.

I'M BRINGING THIS UP BECAUSE... I DON'T
REMEMBER. >> YOU WERE TRYING TO MAKE

BECAUSE... I DON'T REMEMBER. >> YOU
WERE TRYING TO MAKE A POINT TO ME.

YOU WERE TRYING TO MAKE A
POINT TO ME. >> YES, THAT'S RIGHT, I DID.

A POINT TO ME. >> YES, THAT'S
RIGHT, I DID. WHAT WAS THE POINT?

YES, THAT'S RIGHT, I DID. WHAT WAS
THE POINT? >> HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT WAS THE POINT? >> HEY, WHAT'S
GOING ON? >> WE'RE HAVING A DISCUSSION.

HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? >> WE'RE
HAVING A DISCUSSION. SUPPOSE DAD DIED.

WE'RE HAVING A DISCUSSION. SUPPOSE
DAD DIED. >> IT WOULD REALLY TEAR ME UP.

MY SON. TOMORROW I'M TAKING
YOU OUT, I'M GOING TO BUY YOU A CAR.

TOMORROW I'M TAKING YOU OUT,
I'M GOING TO BUY YOU A CAR. >> DAD!

I'M GOING TO BUY YOU A CAR. >>
DAD! >> NO, NO, YOU ALL ANSWERED

DAD! >> NO, NO, YOU ALL
ANSWERED THE QUESTION WRONG.

[MUSIC]

OH, I THOUGHT IT WAS
THE 19-YEAR-OLD.

CLAIR, LISTEN TO THAT. >> WHAT?
THE SOUND OF OUR CHILDREN

WHAT? >> THE SOUND OF OUR
CHILDREN PLAYING AT YOUR MOTHER

THE SOUND OF OUR CHILDREN PLAYING
AT YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER'S HOUSE.

PLAYING AT YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER'S
HOUSE. >> YOU KNOW, CLIFF, I'VE BEEN

AND FATHER'S HOUSE. >> YOU KNOW,
CLIFF, I'VE BEEN THINKING A LOT ABOUT MIKE

YOU KNOW, CLIFF, I'VE BEEN
THINKING A LOT ABOUT MIKE AND NICKI.

THINKING A LOT ABOUT MIKE AND
NICKI. THEY HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP.

AND NICKI. THEY HAVE A GREAT
RELATIONSHIP. IT MUST BE WONDERFUL TO HAVE

THEY HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP. IT MUST BE
WONDERFUL TO HAVE NEW AND EXCITING THINGS

IT MUST BE WONDERFUL TO HAVE NEW AND
EXCITING THINGS TO TALK ABOUT ALL THE TIME.

NEW AND EXCITING THINGS TO TALK
ABOUT ALL THE TIME. >> LIKE WHAT?

TO TALK ABOUT ALL THE TIME. >> LIKE
WHAT? >> WELL, I DON'T KNOW, BUT ALL

LIKE WHAT? >> WELL, I DON'T KNOW,
BUT ALL WE EVER TALK ABOUT ARE BILLS,

WELL, I DON'T KNOW, BUT ALL WE EVER
TALK ABOUT ARE BILLS, REPORT CARDS, WORK.

WE EVER TALK ABOUT ARE BILLS, REPORT
CARDS, WORK. WE ARE DULL, BORING,

REPORT CARDS, WORK. WE ARE
DULL, BORING, AND BEYOND WORDS.

WE ARE DULL, BORING, AND BEYOND
WORDS. >> THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK, HUH?

AND BEYOND WORDS. >> THAT'S
WHAT YOU THINK, HUH? >> DON'T YOU?

THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK,
HUH? >> DON'T YOU? >> COME HERE.

DON'T YOU? >> COME
HERE. I DON'T WANT YOU TO SAY

COME HERE. I DON'T WANT YOU TO
SAY ANOTHER WORD BECAUSE WE ARE

I DON'T WANT YOU TO SAY ANOTHER
WORD BECAUSE WE ARE BEYOND WORDS.

ANOTHER WORD BECAUSE WE
ARE BEYOND WORDS. SIT DOWN.

[JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC]

"THE COSBY SHOW" IS TAPED IN
FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.