The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 1, Episode 2 - Goodbye, Mr. Fish - full transcript
Cliff forces the entire family to hold a funeral for Rudy's dead goldfish Lamont.
[MUSIC]
DAD! >> OH GOD, NO.
DADDY, YOU ASLEEP?
OH GOD, NO. >>
DADDY, YOU ASLEEP? DAD?
DADDY, YOU
ASLEEP? DAD? >> WHAT?
DAD? >> WHAT? >> DAD, I
HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL
WHAT? >> DAD, I HAVE
SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.
DAD, I HAVE SOMETHING TO
TELL YOU. >> IS IT IMPORTANT?
YOU. >> IS IT
IMPORTANT? >> YES DAD.
IS IT IMPORTANT? >> YES
DAD. >> HOW IMPORTANT IS IT?
YES DAD. >> HOW
IMPORTANT IS IT? >> AN EIGHT.
HOW IMPORTANT IS IT? >>
AN EIGHT. >> IS IT A CHILD'S EIGHT
AN EIGHT. >> IS IT A CHILD'S
EIGHT OR AN ADULT'S EIGHT?
IS IT A CHILD'S EIGHT OR AN
ADULT'S EIGHT? >> I DON'T KNOW.
OR AN ADULT'S EIGHT? >> I DON'T
KNOW. I'VE NEVER BEEN AN ADULT.
I DON'T KNOW. I'VE NEVER BEEN
AN ADULT. >> VANESSA, I JUST FINISHED
I'VE NEVER BEEN AN ADULT. >> VANESSA,
I JUST FINISHED WORKING 18 HOURS IN
VANESSA, I JUST FINISHED
WORKING 18 HOURS IN THE HOSPITAL.
WORKING 18 HOURS IN THE HOSPITAL.
I DELIVERED OVER 8,000 BABIES.
I AM REALLY, REALLY TIRED. AND IF THIS IS
NOT REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT, I'M GOING
AND IF THIS IS NOT REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT,
I'M GOING TO BE REALLY, REALLY ANGRY.
REALLY IMPORTANT, I'M GOING TO BE REALLY,
REALLY ANGRY. >> DAD, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
TO BE REALLY, REALLY ANGRY. >> DAD, I DON'T
KNOW WHAT TO DO. IF I TELL YOU AND IT'S NOT
DAD, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. IF I TELL
YOU AND IT'S NOT IMPORTANT, YOU'LL BE ANGRY
IF I TELL YOU AND IT'S NOT
IMPORTANT, YOU'LL BE ANGRY WITH ME.
IMPORTANT, YOU'LL BE ANGRY WITH
ME. AND IF I DON'T TELL YOU AND IT
WITH ME. AND IF I DON'T TELL YOU
AND IT IS IMPORTANT, YOU'LL BE ANGRY
AND IF I DON'T TELL YOU AND IT IS
IMPORTANT, YOU'LL BE ANGRY WITH ME.
IS IMPORTANT, YOU'LL BE ANGRY WITH
ME. WHY DID I EVER COME DOWNSTAIRS?
WITH ME. WHY DID I EVER COME
DOWNSTAIRS? >> TO PUNISH ME.
WHY DID I EVER COME DOWNSTAIRS?
TO PUNISH ME. >> DAD.
TO PUNISH ME. >>
DAD. >> NOW, WHAT IS IT?
DAD. >> NOW, WHAT
IS IT? >> RUDY'S HOME.
THERE BETTER BE MORE. >> THERE
IS. YOU KNOW, RUDY'S PET GOLDFISH,
THERE IS. YOU KNOW,
RUDY'S PET GOLDFISH, LAMONT?
YOU KNOW, RUDY'S PET
GOLDFISH, LAMONT? >> YES.
LAMONT? >> YES. >> THE
ONE YOU BOUGHT FOR HER
YES. >> THE ONE YOU BOUGHT FOR
HER BECAUSE SHE ATE ALL HER PEAS.
THE ONE YOU BOUGHT FOR HER
BECAUSE SHE ATE ALL HER PEAS. >> YEAH.
BECAUSE SHE ATE ALL HER PEAS.
YEAH. >> NOW, DON'T THINK I'M
YEAH. >> NOW, DON'T THINK I'M
COMPLAINING BECAUSE I EAT ALL
NOW, DON'T THINK I'M COMPLAINING BECAUSE
I EAT ALL MY PEAS AND YOU DON'T BUY ME
COMPLAINING BECAUSE I EAT ALL MY
PEAS AND YOU DON'T BUY ME A THING.
MY PEAS AND YOU DON'T BUY ME A
THING. >> IS THIS ABOUT BUYING YOU
A THING. >> IS THIS ABOUT
BUYING YOU SOMETHING?
IS THIS ABOUT BUYING YOU
SOMETHING? >> NO, IT'S ABOUT RUDY'S
SOMETHING? >> NO, IT'S
ABOUT RUDY'S GOLDFISH.
NO, IT'S ABOUT RUDY'S GOLDFISH.
WHAT ABOUT RUDY'S GOLDFISH?
GOLDFISH. >> WHAT ABOUT
RUDY'S GOLDFISH? >> HE'S DEAD.
WHAT ABOUT RUDY'S GOLDFISH?
HE'S DEAD. >> I'M SORRY.
HE'S DEAD. >> I'M SORRY.
RUDY DOESN'T KNOW YET.
I'M SORRY. >> RUDY DOESN'T KNOW
YET. >> ARE YOU SURE THE THING IS
RUDY DOESN'T KNOW YET. >>
ARE YOU SURE THE THING IS DEAD?
ARE YOU SURE THE THING IS DEAD?
ARE FISH SUPPOSED TO FLOAT ON
DEAD? >> ARE FISH SUPPOSED
TO FLOAT ON THEIR BACKS?
ARE FISH SUPPOSED TO FLOAT ON THEIR
BACKS? >> AND RUDY DOESN'T KNOW IT YET.
THEIR BACKS? >> AND RUDY DOESN'T
KNOW IT YET. >> SHE'S FEEDING HIM.
AND HE'S NOT EATING? >> NOW YOU'RE
COOKING. >> HI, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HOME.
NOW YOU'RE COOKING. >> HI, I'M
SO GLAD YOU'RE HOME. >> HI MOM.
HI, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE
HOME. >> HI MOM. >> HI.
HI MOM. >> HI. WAIT
'TIL YOU HEAR WHAT I DID
HI. WAIT 'TIL YOU HEAR
WHAT I DID AT WORK TODAY.
WAIT 'TIL YOU HEAR WHAT I DID AT WORK
TODAY. >> YEAH WELL, NOT RIGHT NOW,
AT WORK TODAY. >> YEAH
WELL, NOT RIGHT NOW, DEAR.
YEAH WELL, NOT RIGHT NOW,
DEAR. WE GOT A LITTLE PROBLEM.
DEAR. WE GOT A LITTLE
PROBLEM. >> WHAT IS IT?
WE GOT A LITTLE PROBLEM. >> WHAT
IS IT? >> RUDY'S GOLDFISH IS DEAD.
WHAT IS IT? >> RUDY'S GOLDFISH IS
DEAD. >> WELL, HOW IS SHE TAKING IT?
RUDY'S GOLDFISH IS DEAD. >> WELL, HOW
IS SHE TAKING IT? >> SHE DOESN'T KNOW YET.
WELL, HOW IS SHE TAKING IT? >> SHE DOESN'T
KNOW YET. DAD HERE IS GOING TO BREAK IT TO
SHE DOESN'T KNOW YET. DAD HERE IS GOING
TO BREAK IT TO HER, AND I'M GOING TO WATCH.
DAD HERE IS GOING TO BREAK IT TO HER, AND I'M
GOING TO WATCH. >> OKAY WELL, I'LL TELL YOU
HER, AND I'M GOING TO WATCH. >>
OKAY WELL, I'LL TELL YOU MY NEWS LATER.
OKAY WELL, I'LL TELL YOU
MY NEWS LATER. >> HI MOM!
MY NEWS LATER.
HI MOM! >> THEO!
HI MOM! >> THEO! >>
YOUR MOM WAS FANTASTIC AT
THEO! >> YOUR MOM WAS
FANTASTIC AT WORK TODAY.
YOUR MOM WAS FANTASTIC AT
WORK TODAY. >> GREAT MAMA, WHAT'S FOR
WORK TODAY. >> GREAT
MAMA, WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
GREAT MAMA, WHAT'S
FOR DINNER? >> I DON'T KNOW.
DINNER? >> I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT ARE YOU FIXING?
TOUGH ONE, DAD? >> I DON'T THINK YOU
UNDERSTAND THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN RUDY
I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THE
RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN RUDY AND LAMONT.
THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN RUDY AND
LAMONT. I MEAN I TOOK HER INTO THE PET
AND LAMONT. I MEAN I TOOK
HER INTO THE PET STORE.
I MEAN I TOOK HER INTO THE PET
STORE. WE CAME IN FRONT OF THIS HUGE
STORE. WE CAME IN FRONT OF THIS
HUGE TANK, FISH TANK, YOU UNDERSTAND?
WE CAME IN FRONT OF THIS HUGE TANK, FISH TANK,
YOU UNDERSTAND? SHE WALKED RIGHT UP TO IT
TANK, FISH TANK, YOU UNDERSTAND? SHE WALKED
RIGHT UP TO IT AND SHE SAID, "I WANT THAT ONE."
SHE WALKED RIGHT UP TO IT AND SHE SAID, "I
WANT THAT ONE." THE MAN TOOK THE NET, WENT IN,
AND SHE SAID, "I WANT THAT ONE." THE
MAN TOOK THE NET, WENT IN, CAUGHT A FISH,
THE MAN TOOK THE NET, WENT IN,
CAUGHT A FISH, PUT IT IN THE BAG.
CAUGHT A FISH, PUT IT IN THE
BAG. SHE SAID, "THAT'S NOT HIM."
PUT IT IN THE BAG. SHE SAID, "THAT'S
NOT HIM." THERE'S 10,000 FISH, ALL LOOK
SHE SAID, "THAT'S NOT HIM." THERE'S 10,000
FISH, ALL LOOK THE SAME IN THAT TANK.
THERE'S 10,000 FISH, ALL LOOK THE
SAME IN THAT TANK. MY DAUGHTER SAYS,
THE SAME IN THAT TANK. MY
DAUGHTER SAYS, "THAT'S NOT HIM."
MY DAUGHTER SAYS, "THAT'S
NOT HIM." SHE SAYS, "THERE HE IS."
"THAT'S NOT HIM." SHE SAYS,
"THERE HE IS." THE MAN GOES IN AGAIN,
SHE SAYS, "THERE HE IS." THE MAN
GOES IN AGAIN, PULLS A FISH OUT.
THE MAN GOES IN AGAIN, PULLS A
FISH OUT. SHE SAYS, "THAT'S NOT HIM."
PULLS A FISH OUT. SHE SAYS, "THAT'S
NOT HIM." FINALLY AFTER ABOUT 20 MINUTES,
SHE SAYS, "THAT'S NOT HIM." FINALLY AFTER
ABOUT 20 MINUTES, THE MAN STARTS TO LOOK AT ME.
FINALLY AFTER ABOUT 20 MINUTES, THE MAN STARTS
TO LOOK AT ME. SHE SAYS, "THAT'S NOT HIM."
THE MAN STARTS TO LOOK AT ME. SHE SAYS,
"THAT'S NOT HIM." I SAID, "THAT'S NOT HIM.
SHE SAYS, "THAT'S NOT HIM." I SAID, "THAT'S
NOT HIM. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?"
I SAID, "THAT'S NOT HIM. WHAT DO YOU WANT
ME TO SAY?" SO FINALLY, THE MAN STEPS DOWN,
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?" SO FINALLY,
THE MAN STEPS DOWN, HANDS RUDY THE NET.
SO FINALLY, THE MAN STEPS DOWN, HANDS RUDY
THE NET. RUDY CLIMBS UP ON A CRATE, HOLDS
HANDS RUDY THE NET. RUDY CLIMBS UP ON A
CRATE, HOLDS THE NET OUT, IT DOESN'T TOUCH
RUDY CLIMBS UP ON A CRATE, HOLDS
THE NET OUT, IT DOESN'T TOUCH THE WATER.
THE NET OUT, IT DOESN'T TOUCH THE
WATER. LAMONT JUMPS UP INTO THE NET.
SHE SHOWS HIM TO HIM AND SAYS,
"THAT'S HIM." I SAID TO THE MAN,
"THAT'S HIM." I SAID TO THE
MAN, "IT WAS ALL THE TIME."
I SAID TO THE MAN, "IT WAS ALL THE
TIME." I HAVE NEVER KNOWN HER TO HAVE
"IT WAS ALL THE TIME." I HAVE NEVER KNOWN
HER TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP OR BE THIS CLOSE
I HAVE NEVER KNOWN HER TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP
OR BE THIS CLOSE TO ANYONE IN ALL HER LIFE.
A RELATIONSHIP OR BE THIS CLOSE
TO ANYONE IN ALL HER LIFE. >> DADDY?
TO ANYONE IN ALL HER
LIFE. >> DADDY? >> YES DEAR.
DADDY? >> YES DEAR.
ARE YOU STALLING?
YES DEAR. >> ARE YOU STALLING?
THAT WAS A VERY TOUCHING
ARE YOU STALLING? >> THAT
WAS A VERY TOUCHING STORY.
THAT WAS A VERY TOUCHING
STORY. >> YES DADDY, A LONG TOUCHING
STORY. >> YES DADDY, A
LONG TOUCHING STORY.
YES DADDY, A LONG TOUCHING
STORY. >> HI RUDY, WHAT YOU DOING?
STORY. >> HI RUDY, WHAT
YOU DOING? >> PLAYING.
SO, HOW'S EVERYTHING?
FINE. >> GOOD.
EVERYTHING OKAY? >>
UH-HUH. >> THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK.
UH-HUH. >> THAT'S WHAT
YOU THINK. >> WELL DOCTOR?
RUDY, DADDY WANTS TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT LAMONT. >> LAMONT?
TALK TO YOU ABOUT
LAMONT. >> LAMONT? >> YEAH.
LAMONT? >> YEAH. YOU
SEE, DEAR, LAMONT HAS GONE
YEAH. YOU SEE, DEAR,
LAMONT HAS GONE AWAY.
YOU SEE, DEAR, LAMONT HAS
GONE AWAY. >> NO, HE HASN'T.
AWAY. >> NO, HE
HASN'T. HE'S RIGHT HERE.
NO, HE HASN'T. HE'S RIGHT
HERE. >> WELL YES AND NO.
HE'S RIGHT HERE. >> WELL YES AND
NO. YOU SEE, GOLDFISH ARE NOT VERY
WELL YES AND NO. YOU SEE, GOLDFISH
ARE NOT VERY STRONG AND SOMETIMES WITHOUT
YOU SEE, GOLDFISH ARE NOT VERY STRONG AND
SOMETIMES WITHOUT WARNING, THEY JUST STOP DOING
STRONG AND SOMETIMES WITHOUT WARNING,
THEY JUST STOP DOING THINGS FOREVER.
WARNING, THEY JUST STOP DOING THINGS
FOREVER. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M
THINGS FOREVER. DO YOU
UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING?
DO YOU UNDERSTAND
WHAT I'M SAYING? >> UH-HUH.
SAYING? >> UH-HUH.
WHAT AM I SAYING?
UH-HUH. >> WHAT AM I
SAYING? >> I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT AM I SAYING? >> I
DON'T KNOW. >> DAD, LET ME TRY.
I DON'T KNOW. >> DAD, LET
ME TRY. >> HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
DAD, LET ME TRY. >> HEY, WHAT'S
GOING ON? >> RUDY, WHAT DAD'S TRYING TO
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? >> RUDY, WHAT DAD'S
TRYING TO TELL YOU IS THAT YOUR GOLDFISH
RUDY, WHAT DAD'S TRYING TO TELL
YOU IS THAT YOUR GOLDFISH IS DECREASED.
CLOSE. DECEASED.
WHAT'S DECEASED?
DECEASED. >> WHAT'S
DECEASED? >> DEAD.
WHAT'S DECEASED?
DEAD. >> WHAT'S DEAD?
DEAD. >> WHAT'S DEAD?
YOUR GOLDFISH, YUCK!
WHAT'S DEAD? >> YOUR
GOLDFISH, YUCK! DAD, HE IS DEAD.
YOUR GOLDFISH, YUCK!
DAD, HE IS DEAD. >> NO.
DAD, HE IS DEAD. >> NO. LAMONT
IS MORE THAN JUST A BODY.
NO. LAMONT IS MORE THAN
JUST A BODY. HE IS FUNNY STORIES.
LAMONT IS MORE THAN JUST A BODY. HE
IS FUNNY STORIES. HE'S NIBBLING FOOD.
HE IS FUNNY STORIES. HE'S NIBBLING
FOOD. HE'S SWIMMING THROUGH
HE'S NIBBLING FOOD. HE'S
SWIMMING THROUGH THE LIGHTHOUSE.
HE'S SWIMMING THROUGH THE LIGHTHOUSE.
LAMONT WILL ALWAYS BE WITH US.
THE LIGHTHOUSE. LAMONT
WILL ALWAYS BE WITH US. >> OH!
LAMONT WILL ALWAYS BE
WITH US. >> OH! WELL YEAH.
OH! WELL YEAH.
CAN I FLUSH THE BODY?
WELL YEAH. CAN I FLUSH THE
BODY? >> GO TO YOUR ROOM.
CAN I FLUSH THE BODY? >> GO
TO YOUR ROOM. >> WHAT DID I SAY?
GO TO YOUR ROOM. >> WHAT
DID I SAY? >> GO TO YOUR ROOM.
WHAT DID I SAY? >> GO TO YOUR
ROOM. >> YOU UNFEELING BEAST.
GO TO YOUR ROOM. >> YOU UNFEELING
BEAST. >> COME OVER HERE, HONEY.
YOU UNFEELING BEAST. >> COME OVER
HERE, HONEY. >> DADDY, IS HE REALLY DEAD?
COME OVER HERE, HONEY. >> DADDY, IS HE
REALLY DEAD? >> YOU CAN CRY IF YOU WANT TO.
DADDY, IS HE REALLY DEAD? >> YOU
CAN CRY IF YOU WANT TO. >> MAYBE LATER.
YOU THINK WE COULD DO SOMETHING TO CHEER
HER UP. >> WHY DON'T WE FIX HER FAVORITE
SOMETHING TO CHEER HER UP. >>
WHY DON'T WE FIX HER FAVORITE DINNER?
WHY DON'T WE FIX HER FAVORITE
DINNER? >> NOW, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
DINNER? >> NOW, THAT'S A
GREAT IDEA. >> HOT DOGS.
NOW, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. >> HOT
DOGS. >> THAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DINNER.
HOT DOGS. >> THAT'S YOUR FAVORITE
DINNER. >> HOW ABOUT YOUR FAMOUS
THAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DINNER. >> HOW
ABOUT YOUR FAMOUS SCRAMBLED EGGS?
HOW ABOUT YOUR FAMOUS SCRAMBLED
EGGS? >> NOW, THAT'S WHAT WE'LL
SCRAMBLED EGGS? >> NOW,
THAT'S WHAT WE'LL DO FOR HER.
NOW, THAT'S WHAT WE'LL DO
FOR HER. WHAT ELSE DO YOU THINK
DO FOR HER. WHAT ELSE
DO YOU THINK WE COULD DO?
WHAT ELSE DO YOU THINK WE COULD
DO? >> SHE'S ALWAYS WANTED A DOG.
WE COULD DO? >> SHE'S ALWAYS
WANTED A DOG. >> NO, YOU WANTED A DOG.
SHE'S ALWAYS WANTED A DOG.
NO, YOU WANTED A DOG. >> DENISE.
NO, YOU WANTED A
DOG. >> DENISE. >> YEAH.
DENISE. >> YEAH. >> A
GREAT THING HAPPENED
YEAH. >> A GREAT THING
HAPPENED FOR ME AT WORK TODAY.
A GREAT THING HAPPENED
FOR ME AT WORK TODAY. >> REALLY?
FOR ME AT WORK TODAY.
REALLY? TELL ME ABOUT IT.
REALLY? TELL ME ABOUT
IT. >> OH, YOU DEAR GIRL.
TELL ME ABOUT IT. >> OH, YOU
DEAR GIRL. >> OH MOM, THAT'S FOR ME.
OH, YOU DEAR GIRL. >> OH
MOM, THAT'S FOR ME. >> HERE WE GO,
OH MOM, THAT'S FOR ME. >>
HERE WE GO, DAD'S FAMOUS EGGS.
HERE WE GO, DAD'S FAMOUS
EGGS. >> IS A GOOD THING HE DIDN'T
DAD'S FAMOUS EGGS. >> IS A GOOD
THING HE DIDN'T SERVE FISH TONIGHT?
IS A GOOD THING HE DIDN'T
SERVE FISH TONIGHT? [LAUGHING]
SERVE FISH TONIGHT? [LAUGHING]
HEY, UNLESS YOU'RE PLANNING
[LAUGHING] >> HEY, UNLESS YOU'RE
PLANNING ON EATING THAT BASKETBALL,
HEY, UNLESS YOU'RE PLANNING ON EATING
THAT BASKETBALL, GET IT OFF THE TABLE.
ON EATING THAT BASKETBALL, GET IT OFF
THE TABLE. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
GET IT OFF THE TABLE. WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU? ALL RIGHT NOW, LOOK HONEY,
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? ALL
RIGHT NOW, LOOK HONEY, PLEASE COME ON,
ALL RIGHT NOW, LOOK HONEY,
PLEASE COME ON, YOU'VE GOT TO EAT.
PLEASE COME ON, YOU'VE GOT TO
EAT. I MADE THESE SPECIAL FOR YOU.
YOU'VE GOT TO EAT. I MADE THESE
SPECIAL FOR YOU. JUST TAKE A...
I MADE THESE SPECIAL FOR YOU.
JUST TAKE A... >> CAN I LEAVE THE TABLE?
JUST TAKE A... >> CAN I LEAVE THE
TABLE? >> JUST TAKE A LITTLE BITE.
CAN I LEAVE THE TABLE? >> JUST
TAKE A LITTLE BITE. >> I'M TOO SAD TO EAT.
JUST TAKE A LITTLE BITE. >> I'M TOO SAD
TO EAT. >> NOW, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, HONEY.
I'M TOO SAD TO EAT. >> NOW,
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, HONEY. COME ON.
NOW, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, HONEY.
COME ON. WE'LL GO UPSTAIRS.
COME ON. WE'LL GO
UPSTAIRS. COME ON.
WE'LL GO UPSTAIRS. COME ON.
AH, OH RUDY, YOUR MAMA DID
COME ON. AH, OH RUDY, YOUR
MAMA DID THE MOST FANTASTIC THING
AH, OH RUDY, YOUR MAMA DID THE
MOST FANTASTIC THING AT WORK TODAY.
THE MOST FANTASTIC THING AT
WORK TODAY. >> MOM, NOT NOW.
BOY, SHE'S REALLY TAKING
THIS THING HARD. DENISE,
THIS THING HARD. DENISE,
THOSE ARE NOT RIBS.
DENISE, THOSE ARE NOT
RIBS. THEY'RE EGGS, DEAR.
THOSE ARE NOT RIBS. THEY'RE EGGS,
DEAR. AND YOU MADE A MISTAKE, YOU LEFT
THEY'RE EGGS, DEAR. AND YOU MADE A MISTAKE,
YOU LEFT SOME KETCHUP IN THE BOTTLE.
AND YOU MADE A MISTAKE, YOU LEFT SOME KETCHUP
IN THE BOTTLE. >> DADDY, THESE ARE FINE.
SOME KETCHUP IN THE BOTTLE. >> DADDY, THESE
ARE FINE. >> YOU GUYS JUST DON'T EVEN SEEM
DADDY, THESE ARE FINE. >> YOU GUYS JUST
DON'T EVEN SEEM TO CARE ABOUT YOUR SISTER.
YOU GUYS JUST DON'T EVEN SEEM TO CARE ABOUT
YOUR SISTER. >> DADDY, DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE
TO CARE ABOUT YOUR SISTER. >> DADDY, DON'T YOU
THINK YOU'RE JUST BLOWING THIS A BIT OUT OF
DADDY, DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE JUST
BLOWING THIS A BIT OUT OF PROPORTION?
JUST BLOWING THIS A BIT OUT OF
PROPORTION? IT'S JUST A DEAD FISH.
PROPORTION? IT'S JUST
A DEAD FISH. >> RIGHT.
IT'S JUST A DEAD FISH. >> RIGHT.
SOUNDS LIKE FLUSH-A-BYE TIME
RIGHT. SOUNDS LIKE
FLUSH-A-BYE TIME TO ME.
SOUNDS LIKE FLUSH-A-BYE TIME TO
ME. SEE, WE ALL GATHER AROUND THE
TO ME. SEE, WE ALL GATHER AROUND
THE BATHROOM BOW AND THEN, SWOOSH,
SEE, WE ALL GATHER AROUND THE BATHROOM BOW
AND THEN, SWOOSH, FLUSH HIM OUT TO GLORY!
BATHROOM BOW AND THEN, SWOOSH,
FLUSH HIM OUT TO GLORY! [LAUGHING]
FLUSH HIM OUT TO GLORY!
[LAUGHING] >> WHAT IF WE SAID A LITTLE
[LAUGHING] >> WHAT IF WE SAID A LITTLE
PRAYER BEFORE WE HIT THE HANDLE?
WHAT IF WE SAID A LITTLE PRAYER BEFORE WE HIT
THE HANDLE? >> DADDY, A FUNERAL FOR A FISH.
PRAYER BEFORE WE HIT THE HANDLE? >> DADDY, A
FUNERAL FOR A FISH. >> THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
DADDY, A FUNERAL FOR A FISH. >>
THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA. >> OR WHY NOT HAVE
THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA. >> OR WHY NOT
HAVE REVEREND WINNINGHAM COME OVER
OR WHY NOT HAVE REVEREND WINNINGHAM
COME OVER AND DELIVER A EULOGY?
REVEREND WINNINGHAM COME OVER AND
DELIVER A EULOGY? >> THAT'S A BETTER IDEA.
AND DELIVER A EULOGY? >>
THAT'S A BETTER IDEA. >> DADDY!
THAT'S A BETTER
IDEA. >> DADDY! >> DAD.
DADDY! >> DAD. >> DADDY.
DAD. >> DADDY.
DAD, COME ON.
DADDY. >> DAD, COME ON.
WE'RE ONLY KIDDING, DAD.
DAD, COME ON. >> WE'RE ONLY KIDDING,
DAD. DAD DAD DAD DAD, IT'S OKAY TO BE
WE'RE ONLY KIDDING, DAD. DAD DAD DAD DAD,
IT'S OKAY TO BE WEIRD HERE BUT YOU'RE GOING
DAD DAD DAD DAD, IT'S OKAY TO BE WEIRD HERE
BUT YOU'RE GOING OUTSIDE THE HOUSE NOW.
WEIRD HERE BUT YOU'RE GOING OUTSIDE
THE HOUSE NOW. >> OH, HE'S REALLY DOING IT!
OUTSIDE THE HOUSE NOW. >> OH,
HE'S REALLY DOING IT! >> DADDY!
OH, HE'S REALLY DOING IT! >>
DADDY! >> DADDY, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS.
DADDY! >> DADDY, PLEASE
DON'T DO THIS. >> HELLO REVEREND?
DADDY, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS. >>
HELLO REVEREND? >> HE'S THE MINISTER.
HELLO REVEREND? >> HE'S THE
MINISTER. HE'LL TELL GOD WE'RE CRAZY.
HE'S THE MINISTER. HE'LL TELL GOD
WE'RE CRAZY. >> JUST A MINUTE PLEASE.
HE'LL TELL GOD WE'RE CRAZY. >> JUST A
MINUTE PLEASE. >> WE'LL DO ANYTHING YOU SAY.
JUST A MINUTE PLEASE. >> WE'LL DO
ANYTHING YOU SAY. >> YOU GUYS WILL COME
WE'LL DO ANYTHING YOU SAY. >>
YOU GUYS WILL COME TO THE FUNERAL?
YOU GUYS WILL COME
TO THE FUNERAL? >> YES.
TO THE FUNERAL? >> YES. >> YES.
YES. >> YES. >>
YOU'LL DO WHATEVER I ASK
YES. >> YOU'LL DO
WHATEVER I ASK YOU TO?
YOU'LL DO WHATEVER
I ASK YOU TO? >> YES!
YOU TO? >> YES! >> [LAUGHING]
YES! >> [LAUGHING] YOU'LL
WEAR FUNERAL CLOTHING?
[LAUGHING] YOU'LL WEAR
FUNERAL CLOTHING? HELLO REVEREND?
YOU'LL WEAR FUNERAL CLOTHING?
HELLO REVEREND? >> YES!
HELLO REVEREND? >> YES! >>
JUST A RELIGIOUS QUESTION.
YES! >> JUST A RELIGIOUS
QUESTION. >> COME ON, DADDY.
JUST A RELIGIOUS QUESTION. >> COME
ON, DADDY. >> CHRISTMAS, WILL IT BE THE
COME ON, DADDY. >> CHRISTMAS, WILL
IT BE THE SAME TIME AGAIN AS LAST YEAR?
CHRISTMAS, WILL IT BE THE
SAME TIME AGAIN AS LAST YEAR? I SEE.
SAME TIME AGAIN AS LAST YEAR? I
SEE. ALL RIGHT, YEAH DECEMBER 25TH,
I SEE. ALL RIGHT, YEAH
DECEMBER 25TH, ALL RIGHTY!
ALL RIGHT, YEAH DECEMBER 25TH,
ALL RIGHTY! OKAY, NICE TALKING TO YOU.
ALL RIGHTY! OKAY, NICE
TALKING TO YOU. BYE-BYE.
NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'LL KEEP IF
YOU'RE BUSY. IT'S NOT THAT IMPORTANT.
IT'LL KEEP IF YOU'RE BUSY. IT'S NOT
THAT IMPORTANT. YEAH SURE, MOM,
IT'S NOT THAT IMPORTANT. YEAH
SURE, MOM, I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW.
YEAH SURE, MOM, I'LL
CALL YOU TOMORROW. BYE.
I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW.
BYE. >> RUDY OKAY?
BYE. >> RUDY OKAY?
SHE'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
RUDY OKAY? >> SHE'LL BE ALL
RIGHT. >> OKAY SO, TELL ME ABOUT
SHE'LL BE ALL RIGHT. >> OKAY
SO, TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAY.
OKAY SO, TELL ME
ABOUT YOUR DAY. >> MY DAY?
YES, YOU KNOW, THE EXCITING
NEWS. >> FORGET ABOUT THAT.
THE EXCITING NEWS. >> FORGET ABOUT
THAT. >> OKAY, WELL I KNOW WHAT THAT
FORGET ABOUT THAT. >> OKAY,
WELL I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
OKAY, WELL I KNOW WHAT THAT
MEANS. FILING OF THE NAILS MEANS DEAD
MEANS. FILING OF THE NAILS
MEANS DEAD HUSBAND ON THE FLOOR.
FILING OF THE NAILS MEANS DEAD HUSBAND ON
THE FLOOR. >> I TRIED TO TALK TO EVERYBODY
HUSBAND ON THE FLOOR. >> I TRIED TO TALK
TO EVERYBODY IN THIS FAMILY, AND NOBODY
I TRIED TO TALK TO EVERYBODY IN THIS
FAMILY, AND NOBODY WANTED TO LISTEN.
IN THIS FAMILY, AND NOBODY WANTED
TO LISTEN. I EVEN CALLED MY MOTHER.
WANTED TO LISTEN. I EVEN CALLED
MY MOTHER. >> IT'S THAT BAD, HUH?
I EVEN CALLED MY MOTHER. >> IT'S THAT
BAD, HUH? I'M GOING TO SIT IN THIS CHAIR.
IT'S THAT BAD, HUH? I'M GOING TO SIT
IN THIS CHAIR. I'M NOT MOVING OUT OF THIS
I'M GOING TO SIT IN THIS CHAIR. I'M NOT MOVING
OUT OF THIS CHAIR, AND I'M GOING TO LISTEN.
I'M NOT MOVING OUT OF THIS CHAIR, AND
I'M GOING TO LISTEN. >> DO YOU PROMISE?
CHAIR, AND I'M GOING TO LISTEN.
DO YOU PROMISE? >> I SWEAR.
DO YOU PROMISE? >> I SWEAR.
I'M NOT GETTING OUT OF THIS
I SWEAR. I'M NOT
GETTING OUT OF THIS CHAIR.
I'M NOT GETTING OUT OF THIS
CHAIR. >> LAST WEEK, I WAS READING
CHAIR. >> LAST WEEK, I WAS READING
THE BURLY CONSTRUCTION CONTRACT.
LAST WEEK, I WAS READING THE BURLY CONSTRUCTION
CONTRACT. >> BURLY CONSTRUCTION CONTRACT,
THE BURLY CONSTRUCTION CONTRACT. >> BURLY
CONSTRUCTION CONTRACT, I KNOW IT WELL.
BURLY CONSTRUCTION
CONTRACT, I KNOW IT WELL. >> CLIFF?
I KNOW IT WELL.
CLIFF? >> YEAH.
CLIFF? >> YEAH. >>
SHUT UP AND LISTEN.
YEAH. >> SHUT UP AND LISTEN.
NOW, NOBODY ELSE IN THE OFFICE
SHUT UP AND LISTEN. NOW, NOBODY ELSE
IN THE OFFICE WANTED TO TOUCH IT BECAUSE
NOW, NOBODY ELSE IN THE OFFICE WANTED TO
TOUCH IT BECAUSE EVERYBODY THOUGHT IT WAS
WANTED TO TOUCH IT BECAUSE EVERYBODY
THOUGHT IT WAS A HOPELESS CASE, RIGHT?
EVERYBODY THOUGHT IT WAS A HOPELESS
CASE, RIGHT? BUT I FOUND THIS TINY LOOPHOLE
A HOPELESS CASE, RIGHT? BUT I
FOUND THIS TINY LOOPHOLE THAT...
BUT I FOUND THIS TINY
LOOPHOLE THAT... >> GO AHEAD.
THAT... >> GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD.
GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD.
THAT WAS YOUR BEEPER.
GO AHEAD. >> THAT WAS
YOUR BEEPER. >> I KNOW.
THAT WAS YOUR BEEPER.
I KNOW. I HEARD IT.
I KNOW. I HEARD IT.
LOOPHOLE, GO AHEAD.
I HEARD IT. LOOPHOLE, GO AHEAD.
WELL, I FOUND THIS LOOPHOLE
LOOPHOLE, GO AHEAD. >> WELL, I FOUND
THIS LOOPHOLE THAT SAVED THE CLIENT OVER
WELL, I FOUND THIS LOOPHOLE THAT SAVED
THE CLIENT OVER $10,000 AND EVERYBODY IN
THAT SAVED THE CLIENT OVER $10,000 AND
EVERYBODY IN THE OFFICE GOT SO EXCITED.
$10,000 AND EVERYBODY IN THE OFFICE
GOT SO EXCITED. EVEN MR. GREENBROOK SR...
THE OFFICE GOT SO EXCITED. EVEN
MR. GREENBROOK SR... >> UH-OH.
EVEN MR. GREENBROOK SR... >>
UH-OH. >> CAME OVER TO SHAKE MY HAND.
UH-OH. >> CAME OVER TO SHAKE
MY HAND. >> GO AHEAD, GO AHEAD.
CAME OVER TO SHAKE MY HAND. >> GO
AHEAD, GO AHEAD. MR. GREENBROOK SR. CAME...
GO AHEAD, GO AHEAD. MR. GREENBROOK
SR. CAME... >> DON'T YOU THINK YOU BETTER
MR. GREENBROOK SR. CAME... >> DON'T
YOU THINK YOU BETTER MAKE THAT CALL?
DON'T YOU THINK YOU BETTER
MAKE THAT CALL? >> NO, BECAUSE IF IT'S
MAKE THAT CALL? >> NO,
BECAUSE IF IT'S AN EMERGENCY, SEE,
NO, BECAUSE IF IT'S AN EMERGENCY,
SEE, THEY JUST GIVE ONE LONG BEEP.
AN EMERGENCY, SEE, THEY JUST
GIVE ONE LONG BEEP. GO AHEAD.
THEY JUST GIVE ONE LONG BEEP. GO
AHEAD. MR. GREENBROOK SR. CAME OUT OF
GO AHEAD. MR. GREENBROOK
SR. CAME OUT OF THE OFFICE.
MR. GREENBROOK SR. CAME OUT OF THE
OFFICE. >> MR. GREENBROOK SR. CAME OUT
THE OFFICE. >> MR. GREENBROOK
SR. CAME OUT OF THE OFFICE TO SHAKE
MR. GREENBROOK SR. CAME OUT OF
THE OFFICE TO SHAKE MY HAND AND THEN...
OF THE OFFICE TO SHAKE MY
HAND AND THEN... >> OKAY, GO AHEAD.
MY HAND AND THEN... >> OKAY, GO
AHEAD. GO AHEAD, MR. GREENBROOK.
OKAY, GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD,
MR. GREENBROOK. >> AND HE SAID...
GO AHEAD, MR. GREENBROOK.
AND HE SAID... >> HOLD IT,
AND HE SAID... >> HOLD IT,
YEAH, THIS IS DR. HUXTABLE.
HOLD IT, YEAH, THIS IS DR. HUXTABLE.
OH, MRS. DAVIS HAS LEFT FOR
YEAH, THIS IS DR. HUXTABLE. OH,
MRS. DAVIS HAS LEFT FOR THE HOSPITAL.
OH, MRS. DAVIS HAS LEFT FOR THE
HOSPITAL. WELL, HOW FAR APART ARE THEY?
THE HOSPITAL. WELL, HOW FAR APART
ARE THEY? NO, NO, NOT THE LABOR PAINS,
WELL, HOW FAR APART ARE THEY? NO, NO, NOT
THE LABOR PAINS, THE HOUSE TO THE HOSPITAL?
NO, NO, NOT THE LABOR PAINS, THE HOUSE TO
THE HOSPITAL? OKAY FINE, WELL JUST CALL THE
THE HOUSE TO THE HOSPITAL? OKAY FINE, WELL
JUST CALL THE HOSPITAL AND TELL THEM THAT I'LL
OKAY FINE, WELL JUST CALL THE HOSPITAL AND
TELL THEM THAT I'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN.
HOSPITAL AND TELL THEM THAT I'LL BE
THERE AS SOON AS I CAN. THANK YOU, BYE-BYE.
BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN. THANK YOU,
BYE-BYE. CAME OUT OF THE OFFICE AND...
THANK YOU, BYE-BYE. CAME OUT OF THE
OFFICE AND... >> AND I THINK YOU BETTER GO.
CAME OUT OF THE OFFICE AND... >>
AND I THINK YOU BETTER GO. >> NO!
AND I THINK YOU BETTER GO. >>
NO! NO, I REALLY DON'T HAVE TO GO.
NO! NO, I REALLY DON'T HAVE
TO GO. I WANT TO HEAR THIS.
NO, I REALLY DON'T HAVE TO GO. I WANT TO
HEAR THIS. HONEST TO GOODNESS, HONEY
I WANT TO HEAR THIS. HONEST TO
GOODNESS, HONEY PLEASE, THAT MRS. DAVIS,
HONEST TO GOODNESS, HONEY PLEASE,
THAT MRS. DAVIS, THIS IS HER NINTH CHILD.
PLEASE, THAT MRS. DAVIS, THIS IS
HER NINTH CHILD. PLEASE, BELIEVE ME,
THIS IS HER NINTH CHILD. PLEASE,
BELIEVE ME, SHE DOESN'T NEED ME.
PLEASE, BELIEVE ME, SHE
DOESN'T NEED ME. I'M JUST A FRILL.
SHE DOESN'T NEED ME. I'M
JUST A FRILL. NOW, COME ON.
I'M JUST A FRILL. NOW,
COME ON. TELL ME PLEASE.
NOW, COME ON. TELL ME
PLEASE. CAME OUT OF THE OFFICE...
TELL ME PLEASE. CAME OUT OF THE
OFFICE... >> AND HE SHOOK MY HAND.
CAME OUT OF THE OFFICE... >> AND HE
SHOOK MY HAND. >> SHOOK YOUR HAND!
AND HE SHOOK MY HAND. >> SHOOK
YOUR HAND! >> AND SAID CONGRATULATIONS.
SHOOK YOUR HAND! >> AND SAID
CONGRATULATIONS. >> CONGRATULATIONS!
AND SAID CONGRATULATIONS.
CONGRATULATIONS! AND?
CONGRATULATIONS! AND?
AND THEN HE WENT BACK INTO
AND? >> AND THEN HE
WENT BACK INTO THE OFFICE.
AND THEN HE WENT BACK
INTO THE OFFICE. >> [LAUGHING]
THE OFFICE. >> [LAUGHING]
THAT IS THE SADDEST STORY I'VE
[LAUGHING] THAT IS THE SADDEST
STORY I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
THAT IS THE SADDEST STORY I'VE EVER
HEARD IN MY WHOLE LIFE. HO, COME IN!
EVER HEARD IN MY WHOLE LIFE. HO,
COME IN! >> DAD, I TOLD RUDY ABOUT
HO, COME IN! >> DAD, I TOLD
RUDY ABOUT THE FUNERAL.
DAD, I TOLD RUDY ABOUT THE FUNERAL.
SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE LAMONT'S
THE FUNERAL. SHE WANTS TO KNOW
WHERE LAMONT'S GOING TO END UP.
SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE
LAMONT'S GOING TO END UP. >> IN HEAVEN.
GOING TO END UP. >>
IN HEAVEN. >> OKAY.
IN HEAVEN. >>
OKAY. >> FUNERAL?
OKAY. >> FUNERAL? >>
YEAH, WE'RE GIVING LAMONT
FUNERAL? >> YEAH, WE'RE GIVING
LAMONT A LITTLE SENDOFF IN THE POWDER
YEAH, WE'RE GIVING LAMONT A
LITTLE SENDOFF IN THE POWDER ROOM.
A LITTLE SENDOFF IN THE
POWDER ROOM. >> WHAT?
ROOM. >> WHAT?
WELL, I THOUGHT
WHAT? >> WELL, I
THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE TO...
WELL, I THOUGHT IT
WOULD BE NICE TO... HO!
IT WOULD BE NICE
TO... HO! >> DAD?
HO! >> DAD? >> YEAH.
DAD? >> YEAH. >> SHE
WANTS TO KNOW WHERE
YEAH. >> SHE WANTS TO KNOW
WHERE LAMONT'S GOING TO END UP REALLY.
SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE LAMONT'S
GOING TO END UP REALLY. >> IN THE RIVER.
LAMONT'S GOING TO END UP
REALLY. >> IN THE RIVER. >> OKAY.
IN THE RIVER. >> OKAY.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
OKAY. >> WHAT'S GOING ON?
I JUST THOUGHT IT'D BE NICE
WHAT'S GOING ON? >> I JUST THOUGHT
IT'D BE NICE TO HAVE A LITTLE FUNERAL FOR
I JUST THOUGHT IT'D BE NICE TO
HAVE A LITTLE FUNERAL FOR LAMONT.
TO HAVE A LITTLE FUNERAL FOR LAMONT.
ANYWAY, CONGRATULATIONS BECAUSE
LAMONT. ANYWAY, CONGRATULATIONS
BECAUSE HEAVEN KNOWS WHEN THAT MAN WILL
ANYWAY, CONGRATULATIONS BECAUSE HEAVEN KNOWS
WHEN THAT MAN WILL COME OUT OF THAT OFFICE AGAIN.
HEAVEN KNOWS WHEN THAT MAN WILL COME OUT
OF THAT OFFICE AGAIN. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
COME OUT OF THAT OFFICE AGAIN. DO YOU
UNDERSTAND ME? NOW, IS THIS THE DARKEST THING
DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? NOW, IS THIS THE
DARKEST THING THAT YOU HAVE IN THAT CLOSET?
NOW, IS THIS THE DARKEST THING
THAT YOU HAVE IN THAT CLOSET? >> WHY?
THAT YOU HAVE IN THAT CLOSET?
WHY? >> FOR THE FUNERAL.
WHY? >> FOR THE
FUNERAL. >> WE ARE DRESSING?
FOR THE FUNERAL. >> WE ARE
DRESSING? >> WELL, IT'S FOR THE FUNERAL
WE ARE DRESSING? >> WELL,
IT'S FOR THE FUNERAL FOR LAMONT.
WELL, IT'S FOR THE FUNERAL
FOR LAMONT. NOW, JUST GO AHEAD.
FOR LAMONT. NOW, JUST GO AHEAD.
I LOVE LIVING HERE, COMING IN
NOW, JUST GO AHEAD. >> I LOVE LIVING
HERE, COMING IN THIRD AFTER YOUR PATIENTS
I LOVE LIVING HERE, COMING IN THIRD
AFTER YOUR PATIENTS AND A DEAD GOLDFISH.
THIRD AFTER YOUR PATIENTS
AND A DEAD GOLDFISH. >> HEY CLAIR!
AND A DEAD GOLDFISH. >>
HEY CLAIR! THE FISH GOES,
HEY CLAIR! THE FISH GOES,
YOU MOVE TO NUMBER TWO.
CALLING ALL MOURNERS!
CALLING ALL MOURNERS! >> OH DAD.
CALLING ALL MOURNERS! >> OH DAD.
YEAH "OH DAD," YOU DON'T WANT
OH DAD. >> YEAH "OH DAD," YOU DON'T
WANT ME TO CALL THE REVEREND AGAIN.
I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE
BLACK. >> GO IN AND GET YOUR SISTER
BLACK. >> GO IN AND GET
YOUR SISTER READY PLEASE.
GO IN AND GET YOUR SISTER
READY PLEASE. >> HERE DAD, MATCHBOX
READY PLEASE. >> HERE DAD,
MATCHBOX FOR THE COFFIN.
HERE DAD, MATCHBOX FOR
THE COFFIN. >> HE'S TOO BIG.
FOR THE COFFIN. >> HE'S
TOO BIG. HE WON'T FIT IN THAT.
HE'S TOO BIG. HE WON'T FIT IN
THAT. >> WELL, CAN'T WE BEND HIM?
HE WON'T FIT IN THAT. >> WELL, CAN'T WE
BEND HIM? >> WHEN RUDY COMES OUT, GO IN
WELL, CAN'T WE BEND HIM? >> WHEN RUDY COMES
OUT, GO IN AND GET THE FISH, ALL RIGHT?
WHEN RUDY COMES OUT, GO IN AND GET
THE FISH, ALL RIGHT? CALLING ALL MOURNERS!
AND GET THE FISH, ALL RIGHT?
CALLING ALL MOURNERS! >> LET'S DO IT.
CALLING ALL MOURNERS!
LET'S DO IT. YOU LIKE IT?
LET'S DO IT. YOU LIKE IT?
WEAR IT WHEN I'M DEAD.
YOU LIKE IT? >> WEAR IT WHEN I'M
DEAD. >> DADDY, HARVEY'S COMING TO
WEAR IT WHEN I'M DEAD. >> DADDY, HARVEY'S
COMING TO PICK ME UP IN ABOUT 5 MINUTES.
DADDY, HARVEY'S COMING TO PICK ME UP IN ABOUT
5 MINUTES. SO, CAN WE JUST MOVE IT ALONG?
PICK ME UP IN ABOUT 5 MINUTES. SO, CAN
WE JUST MOVE IT ALONG? >> MOVE IT ALONG?
SO, CAN WE JUST MOVE IT ALONG? >> MOVE IT
ALONG? THIS IS NOT A HOLLYWOOD FUNERAL.
MOVE IT ALONG? THIS IS NOT A HOLLYWOOD
FUNERAL. NOW, TAKE THE SUNGLASSES OFF.
THIS IS NOT A HOLLYWOOD FUNERAL. NOW, TAKE THE
SUNGLASSES OFF. PUT THE SUNGLASSES BACK ON.
NOW, TAKE THE SUNGLASSES OFF.
PUT THE SUNGLASSES BACK ON. CLAIR!
PUT THE SUNGLASSES BACK ON.
CLAIR! I FEEL A LITTLE OVERDRESSED FOR
CLAIR! I FEEL A LITTLE OVERDRESSED
FOR THE POWDER ROOM.
I FEEL A LITTLE OVERDRESSED FOR THE
POWDER ROOM. >> NO, YOU LOOK JUST FINE.
THE POWDER ROOM. >> NO,
YOU LOOK JUST FINE. NO JEWELRY.
DADDY? >> COME ON OVER
HERE, BABY, BESIDE DADDY.
COME ON OVER HERE, BABY, BESIDE
DADDY. SHE'S WEARING LAMONT'S FAVORITE
BESIDE DADDY. SHE'S WEARING
LAMONT'S FAVORITE DRESS.
SHE'S WEARING LAMONT'S FAVORITE
DRESS. I THINK IT REMINDED HIM
DRESS. I THINK IT
REMINDED HIM OF THE SEA.
I THINK IT REMINDED
HIM OF THE SEA. >> DAD.
OF THE SEA. >> DAD. >>
OKAY, LET'S PROCEED WITH
DAD. >> OKAY, LET'S PROCEED
WITH THE FUNERAL PLEASE.
OKAY, LET'S PROCEED WITH THE FUNERAL
PLEASE. >> I CLOSED HIS EYES FOR YOU.
WE ARE GATHERED HERE FOR THIS
SPECIAL OCCASION TO SAY GOODBYE TO LAMONT.
SPECIAL OCCASION TO SAY GOODBYE TO
LAMONT. NOW, GATHER AROUND PLEASE.
TO LAMONT. NOW, GATHER AROUND
PLEASE. WE'RE HERE TO SAY GOODBYE TO
NOW, GATHER AROUND PLEASE. WE'RE HERE
TO SAY GOODBYE TO A CHERISHED FRIEND,
WE'RE HERE TO SAY GOODBYE TO A
CHERISHED FRIEND, LAMONT GOLDFISH.
A CHERISHED FRIEND, LAMONT
GOLDFISH. LAMONT WAS A GOOD FISH,
LAMONT GOLDFISH. LAMONT WAS
A GOOD FISH, HAPPY AND BRAVE.
LAMONT WAS A GOOD FISH, HAPPY AND
BRAVE. >> I ALWAYS FELT SAFE WITH HIM
HAPPY AND BRAVE. >> I ALWAYS
FELT SAFE WITH HIM AROUND.
I ALWAYS FELT SAFE WITH HIM
AROUND. >> AND SO AS TO ALL FISH,
AROUND. >> AND SO AS TO ALL
FISH, LAMONT'S TIME ON THIS EARTH...
AND SO AS TO ALL FISH, LAMONT'S TIME
ON THIS EARTH... >> DADDY, I WANT TO WATCH
LAMONT'S TIME ON THIS EARTH... >>
DADDY, I WANT TO WATCH TELEVISION.
DADDY, I WANT TO WATCH TELEVISION.
YEAH, WELL SEE, WE'RE HAVING
TELEVISION. >> YEAH, WELL SEE, WE'RE
HAVING A FUNERAL FOR YOUR FRIEND.
YEAH, WELL SEE, WE'RE HAVING A FUNERAL
FOR YOUR FRIEND. >> I WANT TO WATCH TV NOW.
A FUNERAL FOR YOUR FRIEND. >> I
WANT TO WATCH TV NOW. >> ME TOO.
I WANT TO WATCH TV NOW. >> ME
TOO. >> NOBODY'S GOING TO WATCH TV
ME TOO. >> NOBODY'S GOING TO
WATCH TV UNTIL THE FUNERAL IS OVER.
NOBODY'S GOING TO WATCH TV UNTIL
THE FUNERAL IS OVER. IS THAT CLEAR?
UNTIL THE FUNERAL IS OVER. IS THAT
CLEAR? >> CLIFF, IF SHE DOESN'T WANT
IS THAT CLEAR? >> CLIFF, IF SHE DOESN'T
WANT THE FUNERAL, MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T
CLIFF, IF SHE DOESN'T WANT THE
FUNERAL, MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T HAVE IT.
THE FUNERAL, MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T
HAVE IT. >> WE GOT DRESSED UP FOR THIS,
HAVE IT. >> WE GOT DRESSED UP
FOR THIS, AND WE'RE GOING TO HAVE IT.
WE GOT DRESSED UP FOR THIS, AND
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE IT. RIGHT, RUDY?
AND WE'RE GOING TO
HAVE IT. RIGHT, RUDY? RUDY!
RIGHT, RUDY? RUDY!
FORGIVE HER, PLEASE.
RUDY! FORGIVE HER, PLEASE.
HE'S TALKING TO THE... AIR!
FORGIVE HER, PLEASE. >> HE'S TALKING
TO THE... AIR! >> OH DADDY, THAT'S HARVEY.
HE'S TALKING TO THE... AIR! >> OH DADDY,
THAT'S HARVEY. >> WHERE YOU GOING?
OH DADDY, THAT'S HARVEY.
WHERE YOU GOING? HEY!
WHERE YOU GOING? HEY!
DON'T YOU WANT TO SAY GOODBYE
HEY! DON'T YOU WANT TO
SAY GOODBYE TO LAMONT?
DON'T YOU WANT TO SAY GOODBYE
TO LAMONT? >> WELL DAD, HE DIDN'T SAY
TO LAMONT? >> WELL DAD,
HE DIDN'T SAY GOODBYE TO US.
WELL DAD, HE DIDN'T SAY GOODBYE
TO US. >> NO, YOU'RE GOING TO COME BACK
GOODBYE TO US. >> NO, YOU'RE
GOING TO COME BACK HERE.
NO, YOU'RE GOING TO
COME BACK HERE. >> CLIFF...
HERE. >> CLIFF... >>
THEY'RE GOING TO...
CLIFF... >> THEY'RE GOING
TO... >> THIS IS FINISHED.
THEY'RE GOING TO... >> THIS IS
FINISHED. >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN FINISHED?
THIS IS FINISHED. >> WHAT DO YOU
MEAN FINISHED? >> THE PARTY IS OVER.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN FINISHED? >>
THE PARTY IS OVER. >> THIS IS NOT A PARTY.
THE PARTY IS OVER. >> THIS IS NOT A
PARTY. THIS IS A FUNERAL FOR LAMONT.
THIS IS NOT A PARTY. THIS IS A FUNERAL
FOR LAMONT. >> THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS THIS
THIS IS A FUNERAL FOR LAMONT. >> THE
ONLY ONE WHO WANTS THIS FUNERAL IS YOU.
THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS THIS FUNERAL
IS YOU. YOU HAVE FORCED THIS ON ALL OF
FUNERAL IS YOU. YOU HAVE
FORCED THIS ON ALL OF US.
YOU HAVE FORCED THIS ON ALL
OF US. >> I FORCED IT ON ALL OF US?
US. >> I FORCED IT
ON ALL OF US? >> YES.
I FORCED IT ON ALL OF US?
YES. >> AH, AND YOU LOVE THIS.
YES. >> AH, AND YOU LOVE
THIS. THIS MAKES YOU VERY HAPPY,
AH, AND YOU LOVE THIS. THIS
MAKES YOU VERY HAPPY, DOES IT?
THIS MAKES YOU VERY
HAPPY, DOES IT? >> NO.
DOES IT? >> NO. >> YES.
NO. >> YES. YOU ARE
HAPPY, "MY HUSBAND
YES. YOU ARE HAPPY, "MY
HUSBAND HAS GONE CRAZY."
YOU ARE HAPPY, "MY HUSBAND HAS GONE
CRAZY." >> BUT HONEY, IT'S RIDICULOUS.
HAS GONE CRAZY." >> BUT HONEY, IT'S
RIDICULOUS. >> WHAT IS RIDICULOUS?
BUT HONEY, IT'S RIDICULOUS. >> WHAT IS
RIDICULOUS? >> LOOK AT YOU STANDING THERE
WHAT IS RIDICULOUS? >> LOOK AT YOU
STANDING THERE DRESSED AND HOLDING THE OVER
LOOK AT YOU STANDING THERE DRESSED AND
HOLDING THE OVER THE... AND "HE WAS A GOOD
DRESSED AND HOLDING THE OVER THE... AND "HE
WAS A GOOD FISH AND"... AND NOBODY CARES!
THE... AND "HE WAS A GOOD FISH AND"... AND
NOBODY CARES! AND MEANWHILE, THERE'S A WOMAN
FISH AND"... AND NOBODY CARES! AND MEANWHILE,
THERE'S A WOMAN LYING IN THE HOSPITAL WAITING
AND MEANWHILE, THERE'S A WOMAN LYING IN THE
HOSPITAL WAITING FOR YOU TO COME DELIVER
LYING IN THE HOSPITAL WAITING
FOR YOU TO COME DELIVER THE BABY.
FOR YOU TO COME DELIVER
THE BABY. >> OH MY GOD.
THE BABY. >> OH MY
GOD. I'M SORRY LAMONT!
OH MY GOD. I'M
SORRY LAMONT! >> DADDY?
I'M SORRY LAMONT! >> DADDY?
OH, YOU'VE COME BACK
DADDY? >> OH, YOU'VE COME
BACK FOR THE FUNERAL, HUH?
OH, YOU'VE COME BACK FOR THE
FUNERAL, HUH? >> NO, I WANT SOME PRIVACY.
FOR THE FUNERAL, HUH? >> NO, I WANT SOME
PRIVACY. >> YOU WANT TO TALK TO LAMONT
NO, I WANT SOME PRIVACY. >> YOU
WANT TO TALK TO LAMONT BY YOURSELF?
YOU WANT TO TALK TO LAMONT
BY YOURSELF? >> NO, I WANT TO
BY YOURSELF? >> NO, I
WANT TO USE THE BATHROOM.
[MUSIC]
DAD! >> OH GOD, NO.
DADDY, YOU ASLEEP?
OH GOD, NO. >>
DADDY, YOU ASLEEP? DAD?
DADDY, YOU
ASLEEP? DAD? >> WHAT?
DAD? >> WHAT? >> DAD, I
HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL
WHAT? >> DAD, I HAVE
SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.
DAD, I HAVE SOMETHING TO
TELL YOU. >> IS IT IMPORTANT?
YOU. >> IS IT
IMPORTANT? >> YES DAD.
IS IT IMPORTANT? >> YES
DAD. >> HOW IMPORTANT IS IT?
YES DAD. >> HOW
IMPORTANT IS IT? >> AN EIGHT.
HOW IMPORTANT IS IT? >>
AN EIGHT. >> IS IT A CHILD'S EIGHT
AN EIGHT. >> IS IT A CHILD'S
EIGHT OR AN ADULT'S EIGHT?
IS IT A CHILD'S EIGHT OR AN
ADULT'S EIGHT? >> I DON'T KNOW.
OR AN ADULT'S EIGHT? >> I DON'T
KNOW. I'VE NEVER BEEN AN ADULT.
I DON'T KNOW. I'VE NEVER BEEN
AN ADULT. >> VANESSA, I JUST FINISHED
I'VE NEVER BEEN AN ADULT. >> VANESSA,
I JUST FINISHED WORKING 18 HOURS IN
VANESSA, I JUST FINISHED
WORKING 18 HOURS IN THE HOSPITAL.
WORKING 18 HOURS IN THE HOSPITAL.
I DELIVERED OVER 8,000 BABIES.
I AM REALLY, REALLY TIRED. AND IF THIS IS
NOT REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT, I'M GOING
AND IF THIS IS NOT REALLY, REALLY IMPORTANT,
I'M GOING TO BE REALLY, REALLY ANGRY.
REALLY IMPORTANT, I'M GOING TO BE REALLY,
REALLY ANGRY. >> DAD, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
TO BE REALLY, REALLY ANGRY. >> DAD, I DON'T
KNOW WHAT TO DO. IF I TELL YOU AND IT'S NOT
DAD, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. IF I TELL
YOU AND IT'S NOT IMPORTANT, YOU'LL BE ANGRY
IF I TELL YOU AND IT'S NOT
IMPORTANT, YOU'LL BE ANGRY WITH ME.
IMPORTANT, YOU'LL BE ANGRY WITH
ME. AND IF I DON'T TELL YOU AND IT
WITH ME. AND IF I DON'T TELL YOU
AND IT IS IMPORTANT, YOU'LL BE ANGRY
AND IF I DON'T TELL YOU AND IT IS
IMPORTANT, YOU'LL BE ANGRY WITH ME.
IS IMPORTANT, YOU'LL BE ANGRY WITH
ME. WHY DID I EVER COME DOWNSTAIRS?
WITH ME. WHY DID I EVER COME
DOWNSTAIRS? >> TO PUNISH ME.
WHY DID I EVER COME DOWNSTAIRS?
TO PUNISH ME. >> DAD.
TO PUNISH ME. >>
DAD. >> NOW, WHAT IS IT?
DAD. >> NOW, WHAT
IS IT? >> RUDY'S HOME.
THERE BETTER BE MORE. >> THERE
IS. YOU KNOW, RUDY'S PET GOLDFISH,
THERE IS. YOU KNOW,
RUDY'S PET GOLDFISH, LAMONT?
YOU KNOW, RUDY'S PET
GOLDFISH, LAMONT? >> YES.
LAMONT? >> YES. >> THE
ONE YOU BOUGHT FOR HER
YES. >> THE ONE YOU BOUGHT FOR
HER BECAUSE SHE ATE ALL HER PEAS.
THE ONE YOU BOUGHT FOR HER
BECAUSE SHE ATE ALL HER PEAS. >> YEAH.
BECAUSE SHE ATE ALL HER PEAS.
YEAH. >> NOW, DON'T THINK I'M
YEAH. >> NOW, DON'T THINK I'M
COMPLAINING BECAUSE I EAT ALL
NOW, DON'T THINK I'M COMPLAINING BECAUSE
I EAT ALL MY PEAS AND YOU DON'T BUY ME
COMPLAINING BECAUSE I EAT ALL MY
PEAS AND YOU DON'T BUY ME A THING.
MY PEAS AND YOU DON'T BUY ME A
THING. >> IS THIS ABOUT BUYING YOU
A THING. >> IS THIS ABOUT
BUYING YOU SOMETHING?
IS THIS ABOUT BUYING YOU
SOMETHING? >> NO, IT'S ABOUT RUDY'S
SOMETHING? >> NO, IT'S
ABOUT RUDY'S GOLDFISH.
NO, IT'S ABOUT RUDY'S GOLDFISH.
WHAT ABOUT RUDY'S GOLDFISH?
GOLDFISH. >> WHAT ABOUT
RUDY'S GOLDFISH? >> HE'S DEAD.
WHAT ABOUT RUDY'S GOLDFISH?
HE'S DEAD. >> I'M SORRY.
HE'S DEAD. >> I'M SORRY.
RUDY DOESN'T KNOW YET.
I'M SORRY. >> RUDY DOESN'T KNOW
YET. >> ARE YOU SURE THE THING IS
RUDY DOESN'T KNOW YET. >>
ARE YOU SURE THE THING IS DEAD?
ARE YOU SURE THE THING IS DEAD?
ARE FISH SUPPOSED TO FLOAT ON
DEAD? >> ARE FISH SUPPOSED
TO FLOAT ON THEIR BACKS?
ARE FISH SUPPOSED TO FLOAT ON THEIR
BACKS? >> AND RUDY DOESN'T KNOW IT YET.
THEIR BACKS? >> AND RUDY DOESN'T
KNOW IT YET. >> SHE'S FEEDING HIM.
AND HE'S NOT EATING? >> NOW YOU'RE
COOKING. >> HI, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HOME.
NOW YOU'RE COOKING. >> HI, I'M
SO GLAD YOU'RE HOME. >> HI MOM.
HI, I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE
HOME. >> HI MOM. >> HI.
HI MOM. >> HI. WAIT
'TIL YOU HEAR WHAT I DID
HI. WAIT 'TIL YOU HEAR
WHAT I DID AT WORK TODAY.
WAIT 'TIL YOU HEAR WHAT I DID AT WORK
TODAY. >> YEAH WELL, NOT RIGHT NOW,
AT WORK TODAY. >> YEAH
WELL, NOT RIGHT NOW, DEAR.
YEAH WELL, NOT RIGHT NOW,
DEAR. WE GOT A LITTLE PROBLEM.
DEAR. WE GOT A LITTLE
PROBLEM. >> WHAT IS IT?
WE GOT A LITTLE PROBLEM. >> WHAT
IS IT? >> RUDY'S GOLDFISH IS DEAD.
WHAT IS IT? >> RUDY'S GOLDFISH IS
DEAD. >> WELL, HOW IS SHE TAKING IT?
RUDY'S GOLDFISH IS DEAD. >> WELL, HOW
IS SHE TAKING IT? >> SHE DOESN'T KNOW YET.
WELL, HOW IS SHE TAKING IT? >> SHE DOESN'T
KNOW YET. DAD HERE IS GOING TO BREAK IT TO
SHE DOESN'T KNOW YET. DAD HERE IS GOING
TO BREAK IT TO HER, AND I'M GOING TO WATCH.
DAD HERE IS GOING TO BREAK IT TO HER, AND I'M
GOING TO WATCH. >> OKAY WELL, I'LL TELL YOU
HER, AND I'M GOING TO WATCH. >>
OKAY WELL, I'LL TELL YOU MY NEWS LATER.
OKAY WELL, I'LL TELL YOU
MY NEWS LATER. >> HI MOM!
MY NEWS LATER.
HI MOM! >> THEO!
HI MOM! >> THEO! >>
YOUR MOM WAS FANTASTIC AT
THEO! >> YOUR MOM WAS
FANTASTIC AT WORK TODAY.
YOUR MOM WAS FANTASTIC AT
WORK TODAY. >> GREAT MAMA, WHAT'S FOR
WORK TODAY. >> GREAT
MAMA, WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
GREAT MAMA, WHAT'S
FOR DINNER? >> I DON'T KNOW.
DINNER? >> I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT ARE YOU FIXING?
TOUGH ONE, DAD? >> I DON'T THINK YOU
UNDERSTAND THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN RUDY
I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THE
RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN RUDY AND LAMONT.
THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN RUDY AND
LAMONT. I MEAN I TOOK HER INTO THE PET
AND LAMONT. I MEAN I TOOK
HER INTO THE PET STORE.
I MEAN I TOOK HER INTO THE PET
STORE. WE CAME IN FRONT OF THIS HUGE
STORE. WE CAME IN FRONT OF THIS
HUGE TANK, FISH TANK, YOU UNDERSTAND?
WE CAME IN FRONT OF THIS HUGE TANK, FISH TANK,
YOU UNDERSTAND? SHE WALKED RIGHT UP TO IT
TANK, FISH TANK, YOU UNDERSTAND? SHE WALKED
RIGHT UP TO IT AND SHE SAID, "I WANT THAT ONE."
SHE WALKED RIGHT UP TO IT AND SHE SAID, "I
WANT THAT ONE." THE MAN TOOK THE NET, WENT IN,
AND SHE SAID, "I WANT THAT ONE." THE
MAN TOOK THE NET, WENT IN, CAUGHT A FISH,
THE MAN TOOK THE NET, WENT IN,
CAUGHT A FISH, PUT IT IN THE BAG.
CAUGHT A FISH, PUT IT IN THE
BAG. SHE SAID, "THAT'S NOT HIM."
PUT IT IN THE BAG. SHE SAID, "THAT'S
NOT HIM." THERE'S 10,000 FISH, ALL LOOK
SHE SAID, "THAT'S NOT HIM." THERE'S 10,000
FISH, ALL LOOK THE SAME IN THAT TANK.
THERE'S 10,000 FISH, ALL LOOK THE
SAME IN THAT TANK. MY DAUGHTER SAYS,
THE SAME IN THAT TANK. MY
DAUGHTER SAYS, "THAT'S NOT HIM."
MY DAUGHTER SAYS, "THAT'S
NOT HIM." SHE SAYS, "THERE HE IS."
"THAT'S NOT HIM." SHE SAYS,
"THERE HE IS." THE MAN GOES IN AGAIN,
SHE SAYS, "THERE HE IS." THE MAN
GOES IN AGAIN, PULLS A FISH OUT.
THE MAN GOES IN AGAIN, PULLS A
FISH OUT. SHE SAYS, "THAT'S NOT HIM."
PULLS A FISH OUT. SHE SAYS, "THAT'S
NOT HIM." FINALLY AFTER ABOUT 20 MINUTES,
SHE SAYS, "THAT'S NOT HIM." FINALLY AFTER
ABOUT 20 MINUTES, THE MAN STARTS TO LOOK AT ME.
FINALLY AFTER ABOUT 20 MINUTES, THE MAN STARTS
TO LOOK AT ME. SHE SAYS, "THAT'S NOT HIM."
THE MAN STARTS TO LOOK AT ME. SHE SAYS,
"THAT'S NOT HIM." I SAID, "THAT'S NOT HIM.
SHE SAYS, "THAT'S NOT HIM." I SAID, "THAT'S
NOT HIM. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?"
I SAID, "THAT'S NOT HIM. WHAT DO YOU WANT
ME TO SAY?" SO FINALLY, THE MAN STEPS DOWN,
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?" SO FINALLY,
THE MAN STEPS DOWN, HANDS RUDY THE NET.
SO FINALLY, THE MAN STEPS DOWN, HANDS RUDY
THE NET. RUDY CLIMBS UP ON A CRATE, HOLDS
HANDS RUDY THE NET. RUDY CLIMBS UP ON A
CRATE, HOLDS THE NET OUT, IT DOESN'T TOUCH
RUDY CLIMBS UP ON A CRATE, HOLDS
THE NET OUT, IT DOESN'T TOUCH THE WATER.
THE NET OUT, IT DOESN'T TOUCH THE
WATER. LAMONT JUMPS UP INTO THE NET.
SHE SHOWS HIM TO HIM AND SAYS,
"THAT'S HIM." I SAID TO THE MAN,
"THAT'S HIM." I SAID TO THE
MAN, "IT WAS ALL THE TIME."
I SAID TO THE MAN, "IT WAS ALL THE
TIME." I HAVE NEVER KNOWN HER TO HAVE
"IT WAS ALL THE TIME." I HAVE NEVER KNOWN
HER TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP OR BE THIS CLOSE
I HAVE NEVER KNOWN HER TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP
OR BE THIS CLOSE TO ANYONE IN ALL HER LIFE.
A RELATIONSHIP OR BE THIS CLOSE
TO ANYONE IN ALL HER LIFE. >> DADDY?
TO ANYONE IN ALL HER
LIFE. >> DADDY? >> YES DEAR.
DADDY? >> YES DEAR.
ARE YOU STALLING?
YES DEAR. >> ARE YOU STALLING?
THAT WAS A VERY TOUCHING
ARE YOU STALLING? >> THAT
WAS A VERY TOUCHING STORY.
THAT WAS A VERY TOUCHING
STORY. >> YES DADDY, A LONG TOUCHING
STORY. >> YES DADDY, A
LONG TOUCHING STORY.
YES DADDY, A LONG TOUCHING
STORY. >> HI RUDY, WHAT YOU DOING?
STORY. >> HI RUDY, WHAT
YOU DOING? >> PLAYING.
SO, HOW'S EVERYTHING?
FINE. >> GOOD.
EVERYTHING OKAY? >>
UH-HUH. >> THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK.
UH-HUH. >> THAT'S WHAT
YOU THINK. >> WELL DOCTOR?
RUDY, DADDY WANTS TO TALK
TO YOU ABOUT LAMONT. >> LAMONT?
TALK TO YOU ABOUT
LAMONT. >> LAMONT? >> YEAH.
LAMONT? >> YEAH. YOU
SEE, DEAR, LAMONT HAS GONE
YEAH. YOU SEE, DEAR,
LAMONT HAS GONE AWAY.
YOU SEE, DEAR, LAMONT HAS
GONE AWAY. >> NO, HE HASN'T.
AWAY. >> NO, HE
HASN'T. HE'S RIGHT HERE.
NO, HE HASN'T. HE'S RIGHT
HERE. >> WELL YES AND NO.
HE'S RIGHT HERE. >> WELL YES AND
NO. YOU SEE, GOLDFISH ARE NOT VERY
WELL YES AND NO. YOU SEE, GOLDFISH
ARE NOT VERY STRONG AND SOMETIMES WITHOUT
YOU SEE, GOLDFISH ARE NOT VERY STRONG AND
SOMETIMES WITHOUT WARNING, THEY JUST STOP DOING
STRONG AND SOMETIMES WITHOUT WARNING,
THEY JUST STOP DOING THINGS FOREVER.
WARNING, THEY JUST STOP DOING THINGS
FOREVER. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M
THINGS FOREVER. DO YOU
UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING?
DO YOU UNDERSTAND
WHAT I'M SAYING? >> UH-HUH.
SAYING? >> UH-HUH.
WHAT AM I SAYING?
UH-HUH. >> WHAT AM I
SAYING? >> I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT AM I SAYING? >> I
DON'T KNOW. >> DAD, LET ME TRY.
I DON'T KNOW. >> DAD, LET
ME TRY. >> HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
DAD, LET ME TRY. >> HEY, WHAT'S
GOING ON? >> RUDY, WHAT DAD'S TRYING TO
HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? >> RUDY, WHAT DAD'S
TRYING TO TELL YOU IS THAT YOUR GOLDFISH
RUDY, WHAT DAD'S TRYING TO TELL
YOU IS THAT YOUR GOLDFISH IS DECREASED.
CLOSE. DECEASED.
WHAT'S DECEASED?
DECEASED. >> WHAT'S
DECEASED? >> DEAD.
WHAT'S DECEASED?
DEAD. >> WHAT'S DEAD?
DEAD. >> WHAT'S DEAD?
YOUR GOLDFISH, YUCK!
WHAT'S DEAD? >> YOUR
GOLDFISH, YUCK! DAD, HE IS DEAD.
YOUR GOLDFISH, YUCK!
DAD, HE IS DEAD. >> NO.
DAD, HE IS DEAD. >> NO. LAMONT
IS MORE THAN JUST A BODY.
NO. LAMONT IS MORE THAN
JUST A BODY. HE IS FUNNY STORIES.
LAMONT IS MORE THAN JUST A BODY. HE
IS FUNNY STORIES. HE'S NIBBLING FOOD.
HE IS FUNNY STORIES. HE'S NIBBLING
FOOD. HE'S SWIMMING THROUGH
HE'S NIBBLING FOOD. HE'S
SWIMMING THROUGH THE LIGHTHOUSE.
HE'S SWIMMING THROUGH THE LIGHTHOUSE.
LAMONT WILL ALWAYS BE WITH US.
THE LIGHTHOUSE. LAMONT
WILL ALWAYS BE WITH US. >> OH!
LAMONT WILL ALWAYS BE
WITH US. >> OH! WELL YEAH.
OH! WELL YEAH.
CAN I FLUSH THE BODY?
WELL YEAH. CAN I FLUSH THE
BODY? >> GO TO YOUR ROOM.
CAN I FLUSH THE BODY? >> GO
TO YOUR ROOM. >> WHAT DID I SAY?
GO TO YOUR ROOM. >> WHAT
DID I SAY? >> GO TO YOUR ROOM.
WHAT DID I SAY? >> GO TO YOUR
ROOM. >> YOU UNFEELING BEAST.
GO TO YOUR ROOM. >> YOU UNFEELING
BEAST. >> COME OVER HERE, HONEY.
YOU UNFEELING BEAST. >> COME OVER
HERE, HONEY. >> DADDY, IS HE REALLY DEAD?
COME OVER HERE, HONEY. >> DADDY, IS HE
REALLY DEAD? >> YOU CAN CRY IF YOU WANT TO.
DADDY, IS HE REALLY DEAD? >> YOU
CAN CRY IF YOU WANT TO. >> MAYBE LATER.
YOU THINK WE COULD DO SOMETHING TO CHEER
HER UP. >> WHY DON'T WE FIX HER FAVORITE
SOMETHING TO CHEER HER UP. >>
WHY DON'T WE FIX HER FAVORITE DINNER?
WHY DON'T WE FIX HER FAVORITE
DINNER? >> NOW, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
DINNER? >> NOW, THAT'S A
GREAT IDEA. >> HOT DOGS.
NOW, THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. >> HOT
DOGS. >> THAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DINNER.
HOT DOGS. >> THAT'S YOUR FAVORITE
DINNER. >> HOW ABOUT YOUR FAMOUS
THAT'S YOUR FAVORITE DINNER. >> HOW
ABOUT YOUR FAMOUS SCRAMBLED EGGS?
HOW ABOUT YOUR FAMOUS SCRAMBLED
EGGS? >> NOW, THAT'S WHAT WE'LL
SCRAMBLED EGGS? >> NOW,
THAT'S WHAT WE'LL DO FOR HER.
NOW, THAT'S WHAT WE'LL DO
FOR HER. WHAT ELSE DO YOU THINK
DO FOR HER. WHAT ELSE
DO YOU THINK WE COULD DO?
WHAT ELSE DO YOU THINK WE COULD
DO? >> SHE'S ALWAYS WANTED A DOG.
WE COULD DO? >> SHE'S ALWAYS
WANTED A DOG. >> NO, YOU WANTED A DOG.
SHE'S ALWAYS WANTED A DOG.
NO, YOU WANTED A DOG. >> DENISE.
NO, YOU WANTED A
DOG. >> DENISE. >> YEAH.
DENISE. >> YEAH. >> A
GREAT THING HAPPENED
YEAH. >> A GREAT THING
HAPPENED FOR ME AT WORK TODAY.
A GREAT THING HAPPENED
FOR ME AT WORK TODAY. >> REALLY?
FOR ME AT WORK TODAY.
REALLY? TELL ME ABOUT IT.
REALLY? TELL ME ABOUT
IT. >> OH, YOU DEAR GIRL.
TELL ME ABOUT IT. >> OH, YOU
DEAR GIRL. >> OH MOM, THAT'S FOR ME.
OH, YOU DEAR GIRL. >> OH
MOM, THAT'S FOR ME. >> HERE WE GO,
OH MOM, THAT'S FOR ME. >>
HERE WE GO, DAD'S FAMOUS EGGS.
HERE WE GO, DAD'S FAMOUS
EGGS. >> IS A GOOD THING HE DIDN'T
DAD'S FAMOUS EGGS. >> IS A GOOD
THING HE DIDN'T SERVE FISH TONIGHT?
IS A GOOD THING HE DIDN'T
SERVE FISH TONIGHT? [LAUGHING]
SERVE FISH TONIGHT? [LAUGHING]
HEY, UNLESS YOU'RE PLANNING
[LAUGHING] >> HEY, UNLESS YOU'RE
PLANNING ON EATING THAT BASKETBALL,
HEY, UNLESS YOU'RE PLANNING ON EATING
THAT BASKETBALL, GET IT OFF THE TABLE.
ON EATING THAT BASKETBALL, GET IT OFF
THE TABLE. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?
GET IT OFF THE TABLE. WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU? ALL RIGHT NOW, LOOK HONEY,
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? ALL
RIGHT NOW, LOOK HONEY, PLEASE COME ON,
ALL RIGHT NOW, LOOK HONEY,
PLEASE COME ON, YOU'VE GOT TO EAT.
PLEASE COME ON, YOU'VE GOT TO
EAT. I MADE THESE SPECIAL FOR YOU.
YOU'VE GOT TO EAT. I MADE THESE
SPECIAL FOR YOU. JUST TAKE A...
I MADE THESE SPECIAL FOR YOU.
JUST TAKE A... >> CAN I LEAVE THE TABLE?
JUST TAKE A... >> CAN I LEAVE THE
TABLE? >> JUST TAKE A LITTLE BITE.
CAN I LEAVE THE TABLE? >> JUST
TAKE A LITTLE BITE. >> I'M TOO SAD TO EAT.
JUST TAKE A LITTLE BITE. >> I'M TOO SAD
TO EAT. >> NOW, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, HONEY.
I'M TOO SAD TO EAT. >> NOW,
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, HONEY. COME ON.
NOW, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, HONEY.
COME ON. WE'LL GO UPSTAIRS.
COME ON. WE'LL GO
UPSTAIRS. COME ON.
WE'LL GO UPSTAIRS. COME ON.
AH, OH RUDY, YOUR MAMA DID
COME ON. AH, OH RUDY, YOUR
MAMA DID THE MOST FANTASTIC THING
AH, OH RUDY, YOUR MAMA DID THE
MOST FANTASTIC THING AT WORK TODAY.
THE MOST FANTASTIC THING AT
WORK TODAY. >> MOM, NOT NOW.
BOY, SHE'S REALLY TAKING
THIS THING HARD. DENISE,
THIS THING HARD. DENISE,
THOSE ARE NOT RIBS.
DENISE, THOSE ARE NOT
RIBS. THEY'RE EGGS, DEAR.
THOSE ARE NOT RIBS. THEY'RE EGGS,
DEAR. AND YOU MADE A MISTAKE, YOU LEFT
THEY'RE EGGS, DEAR. AND YOU MADE A MISTAKE,
YOU LEFT SOME KETCHUP IN THE BOTTLE.
AND YOU MADE A MISTAKE, YOU LEFT SOME KETCHUP
IN THE BOTTLE. >> DADDY, THESE ARE FINE.
SOME KETCHUP IN THE BOTTLE. >> DADDY, THESE
ARE FINE. >> YOU GUYS JUST DON'T EVEN SEEM
DADDY, THESE ARE FINE. >> YOU GUYS JUST
DON'T EVEN SEEM TO CARE ABOUT YOUR SISTER.
YOU GUYS JUST DON'T EVEN SEEM TO CARE ABOUT
YOUR SISTER. >> DADDY, DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE
TO CARE ABOUT YOUR SISTER. >> DADDY, DON'T YOU
THINK YOU'RE JUST BLOWING THIS A BIT OUT OF
DADDY, DON'T YOU THINK YOU'RE JUST
BLOWING THIS A BIT OUT OF PROPORTION?
JUST BLOWING THIS A BIT OUT OF
PROPORTION? IT'S JUST A DEAD FISH.
PROPORTION? IT'S JUST
A DEAD FISH. >> RIGHT.
IT'S JUST A DEAD FISH. >> RIGHT.
SOUNDS LIKE FLUSH-A-BYE TIME
RIGHT. SOUNDS LIKE
FLUSH-A-BYE TIME TO ME.
SOUNDS LIKE FLUSH-A-BYE TIME TO
ME. SEE, WE ALL GATHER AROUND THE
TO ME. SEE, WE ALL GATHER AROUND
THE BATHROOM BOW AND THEN, SWOOSH,
SEE, WE ALL GATHER AROUND THE BATHROOM BOW
AND THEN, SWOOSH, FLUSH HIM OUT TO GLORY!
BATHROOM BOW AND THEN, SWOOSH,
FLUSH HIM OUT TO GLORY! [LAUGHING]
FLUSH HIM OUT TO GLORY!
[LAUGHING] >> WHAT IF WE SAID A LITTLE
[LAUGHING] >> WHAT IF WE SAID A LITTLE
PRAYER BEFORE WE HIT THE HANDLE?
WHAT IF WE SAID A LITTLE PRAYER BEFORE WE HIT
THE HANDLE? >> DADDY, A FUNERAL FOR A FISH.
PRAYER BEFORE WE HIT THE HANDLE? >> DADDY, A
FUNERAL FOR A FISH. >> THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
DADDY, A FUNERAL FOR A FISH. >>
THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA. >> OR WHY NOT HAVE
THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA. >> OR WHY NOT
HAVE REVEREND WINNINGHAM COME OVER
OR WHY NOT HAVE REVEREND WINNINGHAM
COME OVER AND DELIVER A EULOGY?
REVEREND WINNINGHAM COME OVER AND
DELIVER A EULOGY? >> THAT'S A BETTER IDEA.
AND DELIVER A EULOGY? >>
THAT'S A BETTER IDEA. >> DADDY!
THAT'S A BETTER
IDEA. >> DADDY! >> DAD.
DADDY! >> DAD. >> DADDY.
DAD. >> DADDY.
DAD, COME ON.
DADDY. >> DAD, COME ON.
WE'RE ONLY KIDDING, DAD.
DAD, COME ON. >> WE'RE ONLY KIDDING,
DAD. DAD DAD DAD DAD, IT'S OKAY TO BE
WE'RE ONLY KIDDING, DAD. DAD DAD DAD DAD,
IT'S OKAY TO BE WEIRD HERE BUT YOU'RE GOING
DAD DAD DAD DAD, IT'S OKAY TO BE WEIRD HERE
BUT YOU'RE GOING OUTSIDE THE HOUSE NOW.
WEIRD HERE BUT YOU'RE GOING OUTSIDE
THE HOUSE NOW. >> OH, HE'S REALLY DOING IT!
OUTSIDE THE HOUSE NOW. >> OH,
HE'S REALLY DOING IT! >> DADDY!
OH, HE'S REALLY DOING IT! >>
DADDY! >> DADDY, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS.
DADDY! >> DADDY, PLEASE
DON'T DO THIS. >> HELLO REVEREND?
DADDY, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS. >>
HELLO REVEREND? >> HE'S THE MINISTER.
HELLO REVEREND? >> HE'S THE
MINISTER. HE'LL TELL GOD WE'RE CRAZY.
HE'S THE MINISTER. HE'LL TELL GOD
WE'RE CRAZY. >> JUST A MINUTE PLEASE.
HE'LL TELL GOD WE'RE CRAZY. >> JUST A
MINUTE PLEASE. >> WE'LL DO ANYTHING YOU SAY.
JUST A MINUTE PLEASE. >> WE'LL DO
ANYTHING YOU SAY. >> YOU GUYS WILL COME
WE'LL DO ANYTHING YOU SAY. >>
YOU GUYS WILL COME TO THE FUNERAL?
YOU GUYS WILL COME
TO THE FUNERAL? >> YES.
TO THE FUNERAL? >> YES. >> YES.
YES. >> YES. >>
YOU'LL DO WHATEVER I ASK
YES. >> YOU'LL DO
WHATEVER I ASK YOU TO?
YOU'LL DO WHATEVER
I ASK YOU TO? >> YES!
YOU TO? >> YES! >> [LAUGHING]
YES! >> [LAUGHING] YOU'LL
WEAR FUNERAL CLOTHING?
[LAUGHING] YOU'LL WEAR
FUNERAL CLOTHING? HELLO REVEREND?
YOU'LL WEAR FUNERAL CLOTHING?
HELLO REVEREND? >> YES!
HELLO REVEREND? >> YES! >>
JUST A RELIGIOUS QUESTION.
YES! >> JUST A RELIGIOUS
QUESTION. >> COME ON, DADDY.
JUST A RELIGIOUS QUESTION. >> COME
ON, DADDY. >> CHRISTMAS, WILL IT BE THE
COME ON, DADDY. >> CHRISTMAS, WILL
IT BE THE SAME TIME AGAIN AS LAST YEAR?
CHRISTMAS, WILL IT BE THE
SAME TIME AGAIN AS LAST YEAR? I SEE.
SAME TIME AGAIN AS LAST YEAR? I
SEE. ALL RIGHT, YEAH DECEMBER 25TH,
I SEE. ALL RIGHT, YEAH
DECEMBER 25TH, ALL RIGHTY!
ALL RIGHT, YEAH DECEMBER 25TH,
ALL RIGHTY! OKAY, NICE TALKING TO YOU.
ALL RIGHTY! OKAY, NICE
TALKING TO YOU. BYE-BYE.
NO, THAT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'LL KEEP IF
YOU'RE BUSY. IT'S NOT THAT IMPORTANT.
IT'LL KEEP IF YOU'RE BUSY. IT'S NOT
THAT IMPORTANT. YEAH SURE, MOM,
IT'S NOT THAT IMPORTANT. YEAH
SURE, MOM, I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW.
YEAH SURE, MOM, I'LL
CALL YOU TOMORROW. BYE.
I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW.
BYE. >> RUDY OKAY?
BYE. >> RUDY OKAY?
SHE'LL BE ALL RIGHT.
RUDY OKAY? >> SHE'LL BE ALL
RIGHT. >> OKAY SO, TELL ME ABOUT
SHE'LL BE ALL RIGHT. >> OKAY
SO, TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DAY.
OKAY SO, TELL ME
ABOUT YOUR DAY. >> MY DAY?
YES, YOU KNOW, THE EXCITING
NEWS. >> FORGET ABOUT THAT.
THE EXCITING NEWS. >> FORGET ABOUT
THAT. >> OKAY, WELL I KNOW WHAT THAT
FORGET ABOUT THAT. >> OKAY,
WELL I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
OKAY, WELL I KNOW WHAT THAT
MEANS. FILING OF THE NAILS MEANS DEAD
MEANS. FILING OF THE NAILS
MEANS DEAD HUSBAND ON THE FLOOR.
FILING OF THE NAILS MEANS DEAD HUSBAND ON
THE FLOOR. >> I TRIED TO TALK TO EVERYBODY
HUSBAND ON THE FLOOR. >> I TRIED TO TALK
TO EVERYBODY IN THIS FAMILY, AND NOBODY
I TRIED TO TALK TO EVERYBODY IN THIS
FAMILY, AND NOBODY WANTED TO LISTEN.
IN THIS FAMILY, AND NOBODY WANTED
TO LISTEN. I EVEN CALLED MY MOTHER.
WANTED TO LISTEN. I EVEN CALLED
MY MOTHER. >> IT'S THAT BAD, HUH?
I EVEN CALLED MY MOTHER. >> IT'S THAT
BAD, HUH? I'M GOING TO SIT IN THIS CHAIR.
IT'S THAT BAD, HUH? I'M GOING TO SIT
IN THIS CHAIR. I'M NOT MOVING OUT OF THIS
I'M GOING TO SIT IN THIS CHAIR. I'M NOT MOVING
OUT OF THIS CHAIR, AND I'M GOING TO LISTEN.
I'M NOT MOVING OUT OF THIS CHAIR, AND
I'M GOING TO LISTEN. >> DO YOU PROMISE?
CHAIR, AND I'M GOING TO LISTEN.
DO YOU PROMISE? >> I SWEAR.
DO YOU PROMISE? >> I SWEAR.
I'M NOT GETTING OUT OF THIS
I SWEAR. I'M NOT
GETTING OUT OF THIS CHAIR.
I'M NOT GETTING OUT OF THIS
CHAIR. >> LAST WEEK, I WAS READING
CHAIR. >> LAST WEEK, I WAS READING
THE BURLY CONSTRUCTION CONTRACT.
LAST WEEK, I WAS READING THE BURLY CONSTRUCTION
CONTRACT. >> BURLY CONSTRUCTION CONTRACT,
THE BURLY CONSTRUCTION CONTRACT. >> BURLY
CONSTRUCTION CONTRACT, I KNOW IT WELL.
BURLY CONSTRUCTION
CONTRACT, I KNOW IT WELL. >> CLIFF?
I KNOW IT WELL.
CLIFF? >> YEAH.
CLIFF? >> YEAH. >>
SHUT UP AND LISTEN.
YEAH. >> SHUT UP AND LISTEN.
NOW, NOBODY ELSE IN THE OFFICE
SHUT UP AND LISTEN. NOW, NOBODY ELSE
IN THE OFFICE WANTED TO TOUCH IT BECAUSE
NOW, NOBODY ELSE IN THE OFFICE WANTED TO
TOUCH IT BECAUSE EVERYBODY THOUGHT IT WAS
WANTED TO TOUCH IT BECAUSE EVERYBODY
THOUGHT IT WAS A HOPELESS CASE, RIGHT?
EVERYBODY THOUGHT IT WAS A HOPELESS
CASE, RIGHT? BUT I FOUND THIS TINY LOOPHOLE
A HOPELESS CASE, RIGHT? BUT I
FOUND THIS TINY LOOPHOLE THAT...
BUT I FOUND THIS TINY
LOOPHOLE THAT... >> GO AHEAD.
THAT... >> GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD.
GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD.
THAT WAS YOUR BEEPER.
GO AHEAD. >> THAT WAS
YOUR BEEPER. >> I KNOW.
THAT WAS YOUR BEEPER.
I KNOW. I HEARD IT.
I KNOW. I HEARD IT.
LOOPHOLE, GO AHEAD.
I HEARD IT. LOOPHOLE, GO AHEAD.
WELL, I FOUND THIS LOOPHOLE
LOOPHOLE, GO AHEAD. >> WELL, I FOUND
THIS LOOPHOLE THAT SAVED THE CLIENT OVER
WELL, I FOUND THIS LOOPHOLE THAT SAVED
THE CLIENT OVER $10,000 AND EVERYBODY IN
THAT SAVED THE CLIENT OVER $10,000 AND
EVERYBODY IN THE OFFICE GOT SO EXCITED.
$10,000 AND EVERYBODY IN THE OFFICE
GOT SO EXCITED. EVEN MR. GREENBROOK SR...
THE OFFICE GOT SO EXCITED. EVEN
MR. GREENBROOK SR... >> UH-OH.
EVEN MR. GREENBROOK SR... >>
UH-OH. >> CAME OVER TO SHAKE MY HAND.
UH-OH. >> CAME OVER TO SHAKE
MY HAND. >> GO AHEAD, GO AHEAD.
CAME OVER TO SHAKE MY HAND. >> GO
AHEAD, GO AHEAD. MR. GREENBROOK SR. CAME...
GO AHEAD, GO AHEAD. MR. GREENBROOK
SR. CAME... >> DON'T YOU THINK YOU BETTER
MR. GREENBROOK SR. CAME... >> DON'T
YOU THINK YOU BETTER MAKE THAT CALL?
DON'T YOU THINK YOU BETTER
MAKE THAT CALL? >> NO, BECAUSE IF IT'S
MAKE THAT CALL? >> NO,
BECAUSE IF IT'S AN EMERGENCY, SEE,
NO, BECAUSE IF IT'S AN EMERGENCY,
SEE, THEY JUST GIVE ONE LONG BEEP.
AN EMERGENCY, SEE, THEY JUST
GIVE ONE LONG BEEP. GO AHEAD.
THEY JUST GIVE ONE LONG BEEP. GO
AHEAD. MR. GREENBROOK SR. CAME OUT OF
GO AHEAD. MR. GREENBROOK
SR. CAME OUT OF THE OFFICE.
MR. GREENBROOK SR. CAME OUT OF THE
OFFICE. >> MR. GREENBROOK SR. CAME OUT
THE OFFICE. >> MR. GREENBROOK
SR. CAME OUT OF THE OFFICE TO SHAKE
MR. GREENBROOK SR. CAME OUT OF
THE OFFICE TO SHAKE MY HAND AND THEN...
OF THE OFFICE TO SHAKE MY
HAND AND THEN... >> OKAY, GO AHEAD.
MY HAND AND THEN... >> OKAY, GO
AHEAD. GO AHEAD, MR. GREENBROOK.
OKAY, GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD,
MR. GREENBROOK. >> AND HE SAID...
GO AHEAD, MR. GREENBROOK.
AND HE SAID... >> HOLD IT,
AND HE SAID... >> HOLD IT,
YEAH, THIS IS DR. HUXTABLE.
HOLD IT, YEAH, THIS IS DR. HUXTABLE.
OH, MRS. DAVIS HAS LEFT FOR
YEAH, THIS IS DR. HUXTABLE. OH,
MRS. DAVIS HAS LEFT FOR THE HOSPITAL.
OH, MRS. DAVIS HAS LEFT FOR THE
HOSPITAL. WELL, HOW FAR APART ARE THEY?
THE HOSPITAL. WELL, HOW FAR APART
ARE THEY? NO, NO, NOT THE LABOR PAINS,
WELL, HOW FAR APART ARE THEY? NO, NO, NOT
THE LABOR PAINS, THE HOUSE TO THE HOSPITAL?
NO, NO, NOT THE LABOR PAINS, THE HOUSE TO
THE HOSPITAL? OKAY FINE, WELL JUST CALL THE
THE HOUSE TO THE HOSPITAL? OKAY FINE, WELL
JUST CALL THE HOSPITAL AND TELL THEM THAT I'LL
OKAY FINE, WELL JUST CALL THE HOSPITAL AND
TELL THEM THAT I'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN.
HOSPITAL AND TELL THEM THAT I'LL BE
THERE AS SOON AS I CAN. THANK YOU, BYE-BYE.
BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN. THANK YOU,
BYE-BYE. CAME OUT OF THE OFFICE AND...
THANK YOU, BYE-BYE. CAME OUT OF THE
OFFICE AND... >> AND I THINK YOU BETTER GO.
CAME OUT OF THE OFFICE AND... >>
AND I THINK YOU BETTER GO. >> NO!
AND I THINK YOU BETTER GO. >>
NO! NO, I REALLY DON'T HAVE TO GO.
NO! NO, I REALLY DON'T HAVE
TO GO. I WANT TO HEAR THIS.
NO, I REALLY DON'T HAVE TO GO. I WANT TO
HEAR THIS. HONEST TO GOODNESS, HONEY
I WANT TO HEAR THIS. HONEST TO
GOODNESS, HONEY PLEASE, THAT MRS. DAVIS,
HONEST TO GOODNESS, HONEY PLEASE,
THAT MRS. DAVIS, THIS IS HER NINTH CHILD.
PLEASE, THAT MRS. DAVIS, THIS IS
HER NINTH CHILD. PLEASE, BELIEVE ME,
THIS IS HER NINTH CHILD. PLEASE,
BELIEVE ME, SHE DOESN'T NEED ME.
PLEASE, BELIEVE ME, SHE
DOESN'T NEED ME. I'M JUST A FRILL.
SHE DOESN'T NEED ME. I'M
JUST A FRILL. NOW, COME ON.
I'M JUST A FRILL. NOW,
COME ON. TELL ME PLEASE.
NOW, COME ON. TELL ME
PLEASE. CAME OUT OF THE OFFICE...
TELL ME PLEASE. CAME OUT OF THE
OFFICE... >> AND HE SHOOK MY HAND.
CAME OUT OF THE OFFICE... >> AND HE
SHOOK MY HAND. >> SHOOK YOUR HAND!
AND HE SHOOK MY HAND. >> SHOOK
YOUR HAND! >> AND SAID CONGRATULATIONS.
SHOOK YOUR HAND! >> AND SAID
CONGRATULATIONS. >> CONGRATULATIONS!
AND SAID CONGRATULATIONS.
CONGRATULATIONS! AND?
CONGRATULATIONS! AND?
AND THEN HE WENT BACK INTO
AND? >> AND THEN HE
WENT BACK INTO THE OFFICE.
AND THEN HE WENT BACK
INTO THE OFFICE. >> [LAUGHING]
THE OFFICE. >> [LAUGHING]
THAT IS THE SADDEST STORY I'VE
[LAUGHING] THAT IS THE SADDEST
STORY I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY WHOLE LIFE.
THAT IS THE SADDEST STORY I'VE EVER
HEARD IN MY WHOLE LIFE. HO, COME IN!
EVER HEARD IN MY WHOLE LIFE. HO,
COME IN! >> DAD, I TOLD RUDY ABOUT
HO, COME IN! >> DAD, I TOLD
RUDY ABOUT THE FUNERAL.
DAD, I TOLD RUDY ABOUT THE FUNERAL.
SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE LAMONT'S
THE FUNERAL. SHE WANTS TO KNOW
WHERE LAMONT'S GOING TO END UP.
SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE
LAMONT'S GOING TO END UP. >> IN HEAVEN.
GOING TO END UP. >>
IN HEAVEN. >> OKAY.
IN HEAVEN. >>
OKAY. >> FUNERAL?
OKAY. >> FUNERAL? >>
YEAH, WE'RE GIVING LAMONT
FUNERAL? >> YEAH, WE'RE GIVING
LAMONT A LITTLE SENDOFF IN THE POWDER
YEAH, WE'RE GIVING LAMONT A
LITTLE SENDOFF IN THE POWDER ROOM.
A LITTLE SENDOFF IN THE
POWDER ROOM. >> WHAT?
ROOM. >> WHAT?
WELL, I THOUGHT
WHAT? >> WELL, I
THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE TO...
WELL, I THOUGHT IT
WOULD BE NICE TO... HO!
IT WOULD BE NICE
TO... HO! >> DAD?
HO! >> DAD? >> YEAH.
DAD? >> YEAH. >> SHE
WANTS TO KNOW WHERE
YEAH. >> SHE WANTS TO KNOW
WHERE LAMONT'S GOING TO END UP REALLY.
SHE WANTS TO KNOW WHERE LAMONT'S
GOING TO END UP REALLY. >> IN THE RIVER.
LAMONT'S GOING TO END UP
REALLY. >> IN THE RIVER. >> OKAY.
IN THE RIVER. >> OKAY.
WHAT'S GOING ON?
OKAY. >> WHAT'S GOING ON?
I JUST THOUGHT IT'D BE NICE
WHAT'S GOING ON? >> I JUST THOUGHT
IT'D BE NICE TO HAVE A LITTLE FUNERAL FOR
I JUST THOUGHT IT'D BE NICE TO
HAVE A LITTLE FUNERAL FOR LAMONT.
TO HAVE A LITTLE FUNERAL FOR LAMONT.
ANYWAY, CONGRATULATIONS BECAUSE
LAMONT. ANYWAY, CONGRATULATIONS
BECAUSE HEAVEN KNOWS WHEN THAT MAN WILL
ANYWAY, CONGRATULATIONS BECAUSE HEAVEN KNOWS
WHEN THAT MAN WILL COME OUT OF THAT OFFICE AGAIN.
HEAVEN KNOWS WHEN THAT MAN WILL COME OUT
OF THAT OFFICE AGAIN. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?
COME OUT OF THAT OFFICE AGAIN. DO YOU
UNDERSTAND ME? NOW, IS THIS THE DARKEST THING
DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? NOW, IS THIS THE
DARKEST THING THAT YOU HAVE IN THAT CLOSET?
NOW, IS THIS THE DARKEST THING
THAT YOU HAVE IN THAT CLOSET? >> WHY?
THAT YOU HAVE IN THAT CLOSET?
WHY? >> FOR THE FUNERAL.
WHY? >> FOR THE
FUNERAL. >> WE ARE DRESSING?
FOR THE FUNERAL. >> WE ARE
DRESSING? >> WELL, IT'S FOR THE FUNERAL
WE ARE DRESSING? >> WELL,
IT'S FOR THE FUNERAL FOR LAMONT.
WELL, IT'S FOR THE FUNERAL
FOR LAMONT. NOW, JUST GO AHEAD.
FOR LAMONT. NOW, JUST GO AHEAD.
I LOVE LIVING HERE, COMING IN
NOW, JUST GO AHEAD. >> I LOVE LIVING
HERE, COMING IN THIRD AFTER YOUR PATIENTS
I LOVE LIVING HERE, COMING IN THIRD
AFTER YOUR PATIENTS AND A DEAD GOLDFISH.
THIRD AFTER YOUR PATIENTS
AND A DEAD GOLDFISH. >> HEY CLAIR!
AND A DEAD GOLDFISH. >>
HEY CLAIR! THE FISH GOES,
HEY CLAIR! THE FISH GOES,
YOU MOVE TO NUMBER TWO.
CALLING ALL MOURNERS!
CALLING ALL MOURNERS! >> OH DAD.
CALLING ALL MOURNERS! >> OH DAD.
YEAH "OH DAD," YOU DON'T WANT
OH DAD. >> YEAH "OH DAD," YOU DON'T
WANT ME TO CALL THE REVEREND AGAIN.
I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE
BLACK. >> GO IN AND GET YOUR SISTER
BLACK. >> GO IN AND GET
YOUR SISTER READY PLEASE.
GO IN AND GET YOUR SISTER
READY PLEASE. >> HERE DAD, MATCHBOX
READY PLEASE. >> HERE DAD,
MATCHBOX FOR THE COFFIN.
HERE DAD, MATCHBOX FOR
THE COFFIN. >> HE'S TOO BIG.
FOR THE COFFIN. >> HE'S
TOO BIG. HE WON'T FIT IN THAT.
HE'S TOO BIG. HE WON'T FIT IN
THAT. >> WELL, CAN'T WE BEND HIM?
HE WON'T FIT IN THAT. >> WELL, CAN'T WE
BEND HIM? >> WHEN RUDY COMES OUT, GO IN
WELL, CAN'T WE BEND HIM? >> WHEN RUDY COMES
OUT, GO IN AND GET THE FISH, ALL RIGHT?
WHEN RUDY COMES OUT, GO IN AND GET
THE FISH, ALL RIGHT? CALLING ALL MOURNERS!
AND GET THE FISH, ALL RIGHT?
CALLING ALL MOURNERS! >> LET'S DO IT.
CALLING ALL MOURNERS!
LET'S DO IT. YOU LIKE IT?
LET'S DO IT. YOU LIKE IT?
WEAR IT WHEN I'M DEAD.
YOU LIKE IT? >> WEAR IT WHEN I'M
DEAD. >> DADDY, HARVEY'S COMING TO
WEAR IT WHEN I'M DEAD. >> DADDY, HARVEY'S
COMING TO PICK ME UP IN ABOUT 5 MINUTES.
DADDY, HARVEY'S COMING TO PICK ME UP IN ABOUT
5 MINUTES. SO, CAN WE JUST MOVE IT ALONG?
PICK ME UP IN ABOUT 5 MINUTES. SO, CAN
WE JUST MOVE IT ALONG? >> MOVE IT ALONG?
SO, CAN WE JUST MOVE IT ALONG? >> MOVE IT
ALONG? THIS IS NOT A HOLLYWOOD FUNERAL.
MOVE IT ALONG? THIS IS NOT A HOLLYWOOD
FUNERAL. NOW, TAKE THE SUNGLASSES OFF.
THIS IS NOT A HOLLYWOOD FUNERAL. NOW, TAKE THE
SUNGLASSES OFF. PUT THE SUNGLASSES BACK ON.
NOW, TAKE THE SUNGLASSES OFF.
PUT THE SUNGLASSES BACK ON. CLAIR!
PUT THE SUNGLASSES BACK ON.
CLAIR! I FEEL A LITTLE OVERDRESSED FOR
CLAIR! I FEEL A LITTLE OVERDRESSED
FOR THE POWDER ROOM.
I FEEL A LITTLE OVERDRESSED FOR THE
POWDER ROOM. >> NO, YOU LOOK JUST FINE.
THE POWDER ROOM. >> NO,
YOU LOOK JUST FINE. NO JEWELRY.
DADDY? >> COME ON OVER
HERE, BABY, BESIDE DADDY.
COME ON OVER HERE, BABY, BESIDE
DADDY. SHE'S WEARING LAMONT'S FAVORITE
BESIDE DADDY. SHE'S WEARING
LAMONT'S FAVORITE DRESS.
SHE'S WEARING LAMONT'S FAVORITE
DRESS. I THINK IT REMINDED HIM
DRESS. I THINK IT
REMINDED HIM OF THE SEA.
I THINK IT REMINDED
HIM OF THE SEA. >> DAD.
OF THE SEA. >> DAD. >>
OKAY, LET'S PROCEED WITH
DAD. >> OKAY, LET'S PROCEED
WITH THE FUNERAL PLEASE.
OKAY, LET'S PROCEED WITH THE FUNERAL
PLEASE. >> I CLOSED HIS EYES FOR YOU.
WE ARE GATHERED HERE FOR THIS
SPECIAL OCCASION TO SAY GOODBYE TO LAMONT.
SPECIAL OCCASION TO SAY GOODBYE TO
LAMONT. NOW, GATHER AROUND PLEASE.
TO LAMONT. NOW, GATHER AROUND
PLEASE. WE'RE HERE TO SAY GOODBYE TO
NOW, GATHER AROUND PLEASE. WE'RE HERE
TO SAY GOODBYE TO A CHERISHED FRIEND,
WE'RE HERE TO SAY GOODBYE TO A
CHERISHED FRIEND, LAMONT GOLDFISH.
A CHERISHED FRIEND, LAMONT
GOLDFISH. LAMONT WAS A GOOD FISH,
LAMONT GOLDFISH. LAMONT WAS
A GOOD FISH, HAPPY AND BRAVE.
LAMONT WAS A GOOD FISH, HAPPY AND
BRAVE. >> I ALWAYS FELT SAFE WITH HIM
HAPPY AND BRAVE. >> I ALWAYS
FELT SAFE WITH HIM AROUND.
I ALWAYS FELT SAFE WITH HIM
AROUND. >> AND SO AS TO ALL FISH,
AROUND. >> AND SO AS TO ALL
FISH, LAMONT'S TIME ON THIS EARTH...
AND SO AS TO ALL FISH, LAMONT'S TIME
ON THIS EARTH... >> DADDY, I WANT TO WATCH
LAMONT'S TIME ON THIS EARTH... >>
DADDY, I WANT TO WATCH TELEVISION.
DADDY, I WANT TO WATCH TELEVISION.
YEAH, WELL SEE, WE'RE HAVING
TELEVISION. >> YEAH, WELL SEE, WE'RE
HAVING A FUNERAL FOR YOUR FRIEND.
YEAH, WELL SEE, WE'RE HAVING A FUNERAL
FOR YOUR FRIEND. >> I WANT TO WATCH TV NOW.
A FUNERAL FOR YOUR FRIEND. >> I
WANT TO WATCH TV NOW. >> ME TOO.
I WANT TO WATCH TV NOW. >> ME
TOO. >> NOBODY'S GOING TO WATCH TV
ME TOO. >> NOBODY'S GOING TO
WATCH TV UNTIL THE FUNERAL IS OVER.
NOBODY'S GOING TO WATCH TV UNTIL
THE FUNERAL IS OVER. IS THAT CLEAR?
UNTIL THE FUNERAL IS OVER. IS THAT
CLEAR? >> CLIFF, IF SHE DOESN'T WANT
IS THAT CLEAR? >> CLIFF, IF SHE DOESN'T
WANT THE FUNERAL, MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T
CLIFF, IF SHE DOESN'T WANT THE
FUNERAL, MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T HAVE IT.
THE FUNERAL, MAYBE WE SHOULDN'T
HAVE IT. >> WE GOT DRESSED UP FOR THIS,
HAVE IT. >> WE GOT DRESSED UP
FOR THIS, AND WE'RE GOING TO HAVE IT.
WE GOT DRESSED UP FOR THIS, AND
WE'RE GOING TO HAVE IT. RIGHT, RUDY?
AND WE'RE GOING TO
HAVE IT. RIGHT, RUDY? RUDY!
RIGHT, RUDY? RUDY!
FORGIVE HER, PLEASE.
RUDY! FORGIVE HER, PLEASE.
HE'S TALKING TO THE... AIR!
FORGIVE HER, PLEASE. >> HE'S TALKING
TO THE... AIR! >> OH DADDY, THAT'S HARVEY.
HE'S TALKING TO THE... AIR! >> OH DADDY,
THAT'S HARVEY. >> WHERE YOU GOING?
OH DADDY, THAT'S HARVEY.
WHERE YOU GOING? HEY!
WHERE YOU GOING? HEY!
DON'T YOU WANT TO SAY GOODBYE
HEY! DON'T YOU WANT TO
SAY GOODBYE TO LAMONT?
DON'T YOU WANT TO SAY GOODBYE
TO LAMONT? >> WELL DAD, HE DIDN'T SAY
TO LAMONT? >> WELL DAD,
HE DIDN'T SAY GOODBYE TO US.
WELL DAD, HE DIDN'T SAY GOODBYE
TO US. >> NO, YOU'RE GOING TO COME BACK
GOODBYE TO US. >> NO, YOU'RE
GOING TO COME BACK HERE.
NO, YOU'RE GOING TO
COME BACK HERE. >> CLIFF...
HERE. >> CLIFF... >>
THEY'RE GOING TO...
CLIFF... >> THEY'RE GOING
TO... >> THIS IS FINISHED.
THEY'RE GOING TO... >> THIS IS
FINISHED. >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN FINISHED?
THIS IS FINISHED. >> WHAT DO YOU
MEAN FINISHED? >> THE PARTY IS OVER.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN FINISHED? >>
THE PARTY IS OVER. >> THIS IS NOT A PARTY.
THE PARTY IS OVER. >> THIS IS NOT A
PARTY. THIS IS A FUNERAL FOR LAMONT.
THIS IS NOT A PARTY. THIS IS A FUNERAL
FOR LAMONT. >> THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS THIS
THIS IS A FUNERAL FOR LAMONT. >> THE
ONLY ONE WHO WANTS THIS FUNERAL IS YOU.
THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS THIS FUNERAL
IS YOU. YOU HAVE FORCED THIS ON ALL OF
FUNERAL IS YOU. YOU HAVE
FORCED THIS ON ALL OF US.
YOU HAVE FORCED THIS ON ALL
OF US. >> I FORCED IT ON ALL OF US?
US. >> I FORCED IT
ON ALL OF US? >> YES.
I FORCED IT ON ALL OF US?
YES. >> AH, AND YOU LOVE THIS.
YES. >> AH, AND YOU LOVE
THIS. THIS MAKES YOU VERY HAPPY,
AH, AND YOU LOVE THIS. THIS
MAKES YOU VERY HAPPY, DOES IT?
THIS MAKES YOU VERY
HAPPY, DOES IT? >> NO.
DOES IT? >> NO. >> YES.
NO. >> YES. YOU ARE
HAPPY, "MY HUSBAND
YES. YOU ARE HAPPY, "MY
HUSBAND HAS GONE CRAZY."
YOU ARE HAPPY, "MY HUSBAND HAS GONE
CRAZY." >> BUT HONEY, IT'S RIDICULOUS.
HAS GONE CRAZY." >> BUT HONEY, IT'S
RIDICULOUS. >> WHAT IS RIDICULOUS?
BUT HONEY, IT'S RIDICULOUS. >> WHAT IS
RIDICULOUS? >> LOOK AT YOU STANDING THERE
WHAT IS RIDICULOUS? >> LOOK AT YOU
STANDING THERE DRESSED AND HOLDING THE OVER
LOOK AT YOU STANDING THERE DRESSED AND
HOLDING THE OVER THE... AND "HE WAS A GOOD
DRESSED AND HOLDING THE OVER THE... AND "HE
WAS A GOOD FISH AND"... AND NOBODY CARES!
THE... AND "HE WAS A GOOD FISH AND"... AND
NOBODY CARES! AND MEANWHILE, THERE'S A WOMAN
FISH AND"... AND NOBODY CARES! AND MEANWHILE,
THERE'S A WOMAN LYING IN THE HOSPITAL WAITING
AND MEANWHILE, THERE'S A WOMAN LYING IN THE
HOSPITAL WAITING FOR YOU TO COME DELIVER
LYING IN THE HOSPITAL WAITING
FOR YOU TO COME DELIVER THE BABY.
FOR YOU TO COME DELIVER
THE BABY. >> OH MY GOD.
THE BABY. >> OH MY
GOD. I'M SORRY LAMONT!
OH MY GOD. I'M
SORRY LAMONT! >> DADDY?
I'M SORRY LAMONT! >> DADDY?
OH, YOU'VE COME BACK
DADDY? >> OH, YOU'VE COME
BACK FOR THE FUNERAL, HUH?
OH, YOU'VE COME BACK FOR THE
FUNERAL, HUH? >> NO, I WANT SOME PRIVACY.
FOR THE FUNERAL, HUH? >> NO, I WANT SOME
PRIVACY. >> YOU WANT TO TALK TO LAMONT
NO, I WANT SOME PRIVACY. >> YOU
WANT TO TALK TO LAMONT BY YOURSELF?
YOU WANT TO TALK TO LAMONT
BY YOURSELF? >> NO, I WANT TO
BY YOURSELF? >> NO, I
WANT TO USE THE BATHROOM.
[MUSIC]