The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 1, Episode 3 - Bad Dreams - full transcript
Vanessa sneaks into a scary movie despite her parents' forbidding it because she can't handle scary things. Cliff and Claire then have to deal with Vanessa sleeping between them in bed when she has nightmares from the movie.
[MUSIC]
[MUSIC]
YOU TELL HER, FREDDY, THAT I HEARD THAT
HE SAID THAT SHE DID AND HE NEVER LIES.
HEARD THAT HE SAID THAT SHE DID AND
HE NEVER LIES. FREDDY, JUST TELL HER.
AND HE NEVER LIES. FREDDY,
JUST TELL HER. UH-HUH, SERIOUSLY.
FREDDY, JUST TELL HER. UH-HUH,
SERIOUSLY. >> THERE SHE IS!
UH-HUH, SERIOUSLY. >>
THERE SHE IS! >> YES, I KNOW
THERE SHE IS! >> YES, I
KNOW WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE.
YES, I KNOW WHAT SHE LOOKS
LIKE. >> VANESSA, YOUR SISTER
WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE. >> VANESSA, YOUR
SISTER JUST CAME DOWN TO MY OFFICE,
VANESSA, YOUR SISTER JUST CAME DOWN TO
MY OFFICE, INTERRUPTED MY WORK TO TELL ME
JUST CAME DOWN TO MY OFFICE, INTERRUPTED
MY WORK TO TELL ME THAT YOU BOTHERED HER.
INTERRUPTED MY WORK TO TELL ME THAT
YOU BOTHERED HER. >> SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE
THAT YOU BOTHERED HER. >> SHE
SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT, DAD,
SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE
THAT, DAD, YOU'RE A VERY BUSY MAN.
DONE THAT, DAD, YOU'RE A VERY
BUSY MAN. >> THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
YOU'RE A VERY BUSY MAN. >>
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT. >> YES, IT IS.
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT. >>
YES, IT IS. YOU BRING THE LIVES
YES, IT IS. YOU BRING
THE LIVES INTO THE WORLD.
YOU BRING THE LIVES INTO THE WORLD.
WITHOUT YOU, WOMEN WOULD STAY
INTO THE WORLD. WITHOUT YOU,
WOMEN WOULD STAY PREGNANT FOREVER.
WITHOUT YOU, WOMEN WOULD STAY PREGNANT
FOREVER. >> THE QUESTION IS WHY ARE YOU
PREGNANT FOREVER. >> THE QUESTION
IS WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING YOUR SISTER?
THE QUESTION IS WHY ARE YOU
BOTHERING YOUR SISTER? >> I DON'T KNOW.
BOTHERING YOUR SISTER? >> I
DON'T KNOW. >> WELL, DIDN'T I TELL YOU
I DON'T KNOW. >> WELL, DIDN'T
I TELL YOU NOT TO BOTHER HER?
WELL, DIDN'T I TELL YOU
NOT TO BOTHER HER? >> UH-HUH.
NOT TO BOTHER HER? >> UH-HUH.
THEN, WHY ARE YOU STILL
UH-HUH. >> THEN, WHY
ARE YOU STILL BOTHERING HER?
THEN, WHY ARE YOU STILL
BOTHERING HER? >> I DON'T KNOW.
BOTHERING HER? >> I DON'T KNOW.
ALRIGHT, YOU TWO ARE GOING
I DON'T KNOW. >> ALRIGHT, YOU
TWO ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN
ALRIGHT, YOU TWO ARE GOING TO
HAVE TO LEARN TO PLAY TOGETHER.
TO HAVE TO LEARN TO PLAY
TOGETHER. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
TO PLAY TOGETHER. DO
YOU UNDERSTAND? FINE.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND? FINE.
NOW, GET AWAY FROM EACH OTHER.
FINE. NOW, GET AWAY FROM
EACH OTHER. >> STOP IT!
NOW, GET AWAY FROM EACH
OTHER. >> STOP IT! >> HEY!
STOP IT! >> HEY! >> I
WAS JUST HURRYING HER
HEY! >> I WAS JUST
HURRYING HER ALONG.
I WAS JUST HURRYING
HER ALONG. >> THAT'S ALRIGHT.
ALONG. >> THAT'S ALRIGHT.
SHE'S ONLY 5 YEARS OLD NOW, BUT
THAT'S ALRIGHT. SHE'S ONLY 5 YEARS OLD
NOW, BUT SHE'S GOING TO GROW UP AND SHE
SHE'S ONLY 5 YEARS OLD NOW, BUT SHE'S GOING TO
GROW UP AND SHE MAY BEGIN TO DO BODYBUILDING,
SHE'S GOING TO GROW UP AND SHE MAY BEGIN TO
DO BODYBUILDING, COME BACK, FIND YOU AND SAY,
MAY BEGIN TO DO BODYBUILDING, COME BACK,
FIND YOU AND SAY, "REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES YOU
COME BACK, FIND YOU AND SAY,
"REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES YOU PUSHED ME?"
"REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES YOU
PUSHED ME?" AND CLEAN YOUR CLOCK.
PUSHED ME?" AND CLEAN
YOUR CLOCK. >> YEAH, DAD.
AND CLEAN YOUR CLOCK. >> YEAH,
DAD. >> DENISE, DIDN'T I ASK YOU
YEAH, DAD. >> DENISE, DIDN'T
I ASK YOU TO LOOK AFTER THEM?
DENISE, DIDN'T I ASK YOU TO
LOOK AFTER THEM? GIVE ME THIS.
TO LOOK AFTER THEM?
GIVE ME THIS. HELLO?
GIVE ME THIS. HELLO? FREDDY?
HELLO? FREDDY? HI, I'M
GOING TO HANG UP NOW.
FREDDY? HI, I'M GOING TO HANG
UP NOW. YOU CAN KEEP TALKING
HI, I'M GOING TO HANG UP NOW. YOU
CAN KEEP TALKING IF YOU WANT TO.
YOU CAN KEEP TALKING IF YOU
WANT TO. >> YOU KNOW, DADDY,
IF YOU WANT TO. >> YOU KNOW,
DADDY, THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN IF I HAD
YOU KNOW, DADDY, THIS WOULDN'T
HAPPEN IF I HAD MY OWN PHONE IN MY ROOM.
THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN IF I HAD MY OWN PHONE
IN MY ROOM. >> IF YOU HAD YOUR OWN PHONE,
MY OWN PHONE IN MY ROOM. >> IF YOU HAD
YOUR OWN PHONE, WE WOULD NEVER SEE YOU.
IF YOU HAD YOUR OWN PHONE, WE WOULD
NEVER SEE YOU. AND YOU WOULD COME OUT
WE WOULD NEVER SEE YOU. AND YOU
WOULD COME OUT OF THE ROOM ONE DAY
AND YOU WOULD COME OUT OF THE ROOM
ONE DAY AND WE WOULD WONDER WHO YOU ARE
OF THE ROOM ONE DAY AND WE WOULD
WONDER WHO YOU ARE AND CHARGE YOU RENT.
AND WE WOULD WONDER WHO YOU ARE AND
CHARGE YOU RENT. >> I CAN'T TALK TO MY OWN
AND CHARGE YOU RENT. >> I
CAN'T TALK TO MY OWN BOYFRIEND?
I CAN'T TALK TO MY OWN
BOYFRIEND? >> OF COURSE YOU CAN.
BOYFRIEND? >> OF COURSE
YOU CAN. >> WHERE?
OF COURSE YOU CAN. >> WHERE?
ANY PAYPHONE IN NEW YORK.
WHERE? >> ANY PAYPHONE
IN NEW YORK. >> DADDY.
[SLAMMING]
MAKING BISCUITS? NO,
STOP. STOP NOW, CUT IT OUT.
NO, STOP. STOP NOW,
CUT IT OUT. COME ON.
STOP NOW, CUT IT OUT. COME
ON. NOW LOOK, YOU'RE SQUASHING
COME ON. NOW LOOK, YOU'RE
SQUASHING GRAPES, MAKING A MESS
NOW LOOK, YOU'RE SQUASHING GRAPES,
MAKING A MESS OF THE FRUIT AND BOTHERING
GRAPES, MAKING A MESS OF THE
FRUIT AND BOTHERING YOUR SISTER.
OF THE FRUIT AND BOTHERING
YOUR SISTER. TELL DAD, TELL DAD
YOUR SISTER. TELL DAD, TELL
DAD WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
TELL DAD, TELL DAD WHAT'S
THE PROBLEM? PLEASE, COME ON.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? PLEASE, COME
ON. >> WELL, HOW COME MOM TAKES
PLEASE, COME ON. >> WELL, HOW COME
MOM TAKES THEO TO SEE THE NEW MOVIE
WELL, HOW COME MOM TAKES THEO TO SEE THE
NEW MOVIE "DEATH TRACK 2000" AND NOT ME.
THEO TO SEE THE NEW MOVIE "DEATH TRACK 2000"
AND NOT ME. >> BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HANDLE
"DEATH TRACK 2000" AND NOT ME. >>
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE SCARY STUFF.
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE
SCARY STUFF. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.
THE SCARY STUFF. EVERYBODY
KNOWS THAT. YOU KNOW THAT.
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. YOU KNOW
THAT. I READ FOR YOU "LITTLE BO PEEP
YOU KNOW THAT. I READ FOR YOU "LITTLE
BO PEEP HAS LOST HER SHEEP" WHEN YOU
I READ FOR YOU "LITTLE BO PEEP HAS LOST
HER SHEEP" WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE KID,
HAS LOST HER SHEEP" WHEN YOU WERE
A LITTLE KID, YOU CRIED FOR 2 WEEKS.
WERE A LITTLE KID, YOU CRIED FOR 2
WEEKS. >> JANET MEISER'S PARENTS
YOU CRIED FOR 2 WEEKS. >> JANET
MEISER'S PARENTS LET HER SEE IT.
JANET MEISER'S PARENTS LET
HER SEE IT. >> I DOUBT THAT VERY,
LET HER SEE IT. >> I DOUBT
THAT VERY, VERY MUCH.
I DOUBT THAT VERY,
VERY MUCH. >> YES, THEY DID.
VERY MUCH. >> YES, THEY DID.
IF YOU WANT ME TO, I WILL
YES, THEY DID. >> IF YOU WANT ME
TO, I WILL CALL JANET MEISER'S PARENTS
IF YOU WANT ME TO, I WILL CALL JANET MEISER'S
PARENTS AND ASK THEM THAT AND EMBARRASS
CALL JANET MEISER'S PARENTS AND ASK
THEM THAT AND EMBARRASS YOU ALL TO PIECES.
AND ASK THEM THAT AND EMBARRASS
YOU ALL TO PIECES. I'M GOING TO THE PHONE.
YOU BETTER STOP ME BEFORE I GET
THERE. THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE.
BEFORE I GET THERE. THIS IS YOUR
LAST CHANCE. I'M PICKING UP THE PHONE.
THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE. I'M PICKING UP
THE PHONE. HAVE THE RECEIVER IN MY HAND.
I'M PICKING UP THE PHONE. HAVE
THE RECEIVER IN MY HAND. >> 555-1379.
HAVE THE RECEIVER IN MY
HAND. >> 555-1379. >> IT'S RINGING.
555-1379. >> IT'S RINGING.
YOU BETTER PRAY THEY'RE
IT'S RINGING. YOU BETTER
PRAY THEY'RE NOT HOME.
YOU BETTER PRAY THEY'RE
NOT HOME. THEY'RE ANSWERING.
NOT HOME. THEY'RE
ANSWERING. HELLO, MRS. MEISER.
THEY'RE ANSWERING. HELLO,
MRS. MEISER. DR. HUXTABLE HERE.
HELLO, MRS. MEISER. DR. HUXTABLE
HERE. NICE... WHY AM I SINGING?
DR. HUXTABLE HERE. NICE... WHY
AM I SINGING? OH, HI, I'M SORRY.
NICE... WHY AM I SINGING?
OH, HI, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.
OH, HI, I'M SORRY. I'M
SORRY. I WANTED TO ASK YOU,
I'M SORRY. I WANTED TO ASK
YOU, DID YOU LET JANET SEE
I WANTED TO ASK YOU, DID YOU
LET JANET SEE "DEATH TRACK 2000"?
DID YOU LET JANET SEE "DEATH TRACK
2000"? A-HA, ALRIGHT, AND THANK YOU.
"DEATH TRACK 2000"? A-HA,
ALRIGHT, AND THANK YOU. SHE DID.
A-HA, ALRIGHT, AND THANK YOU. SHE
DID. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
SHE DID. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT
MEANS? NOTHING, BECAUSE YOU'RE
AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
NOTHING, BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL NOT GOING.
NOTHING, BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL
NOT GOING. >> DADDY, IT'S NOT FAIR.
STILL NOT GOING. >> DADDY, IT'S NOT
FAIR. EVERYONE GETS TO GO BUT ME.
DADDY, IT'S NOT FAIR. EVERYONE GETS TO
GO BUT ME. >> VANESSA, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE
EVERYONE GETS TO GO BUT ME. >> VANESSA, HOW
MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEGGED US TO TAKE YOU
VANESSA, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEGGED US
TO TAKE YOU TO SEE A SCARY MOVIE AND THEN
YOU BEGGED US TO TAKE YOU TO SEE A SCARY
MOVIE AND THEN YOU WOUND UP BEING SO SCARED
TO SEE A SCARY MOVIE AND THEN YOU WOUND UP
BEING SO SCARED THAT YOU HAD TO SLEEP WITH US?
YOU WOUND UP BEING SO SCARED THAT
YOU HAD TO SLEEP WITH US? >> TWICE.
THAT YOU HAD TO SLEEP WITH US?
TWICE. >> HUNDREDS OF TIMES.
TWICE. >> HUNDREDS
OF TIMES. >> NOT HUNDREDS.
HUNDREDS OF TIMES. >>
NOT HUNDREDS. >> NOT TWICE.
NOT HUNDREDS. >> NOT
TWICE. >> DAD, YOU MISSED
NOT TWICE. >> DAD,
YOU MISSED A GREAT MOVIE.
DAD, YOU MISSED A
GREAT MOVIE. >> YEAH?
A GREAT MOVIE. >> YEAH?
IT WAS NONSTOP BLOOD
YEAH? >> IT WAS
NONSTOP BLOOD EVERYWHERE.
IT WAS NONSTOP BLOOD
EVERYWHERE. DID I GET ANY ON ME?
EVERYWHERE. DID I GET ANY
ON ME? >> I'M TELLING YOU,
DID I GET ANY ON ME? >> I'M TELLING
YOU, SHE DOESN'T KNOW A CLASSIC
I'M TELLING YOU, SHE DOESN'T
KNOW A CLASSIC WHEN SHE SEES ONE.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW A CLASSIC WHEN
SHE SEES ONE. >> OH, WHEN THEY WERE NOT
WHEN SHE SEES ONE. >> OH, WHEN THEY
WERE NOT SHOOTING OR BLOWING UP A CAR
OH, WHEN THEY WERE NOT SHOOTING OR BLOWING
UP A CAR OR A BUILDING, THEY JUST STOOD
SHOOTING OR BLOWING UP A CAR OR A
BUILDING, THEY JUST STOOD THERE CURSING.
OR A BUILDING, THEY JUST STOOD
THERE CURSING. THE FOULEST MOUTHS
THERE CURSING. THE FOULEST
MOUTHS I'VE EVER HEARD.
THE FOULEST MOUTHS
I'VE EVER HEARD. >> YEAH.
I'VE EVER HEARD. >> YEAH. DAD,
SHE WAS REAL EMBARRASSED.
YEAH. DAD, SHE WAS REAL
EMBARRASSED. BUT LET ME TELL YOU
DAD, SHE WAS REAL EMBARRASSED.
BUT LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE MOVIE.
BUT LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE
MOVIE. >> START FROM THE BEGINNING
ABOUT THE MOVIE. >> START FROM
THE BEGINNING AND TALK SLOW.
START FROM THE BEGINNING
AND TALK SLOW. >> OKAY, SEE THERE...
AND TALK SLOW. >> OKAY, SEE
THERE... >> VANESSA, VANESSA, OUT.
OKAY, SEE THERE... >> VANESSA,
VANESSA, OUT. >> I CAN'T EVEN HEAR
VANESSA, VANESSA, OUT. >> I
CAN'T EVEN HEAR ABOUT THE MOVIE.
I CAN'T EVEN HEAR ABOUT THE
MOVIE. >> VANESSA, GO ON UP TO YOUR
ABOUT THE MOVIE. >> VANESSA, GO ON UP
TO YOUR ROOM AND PLAY WITH YOUR SISTER
VANESSA, GO ON UP TO YOUR ROOM AND PLAY
WITH YOUR SISTER AND STAY AWAY FROM HER.
THERE IS NO FUN IN MY LIFE. >>
AS YOU GET OLDER, IT GETS WORSE.
AS YOU GET OLDER, IT GETS
WORSE. TELL ME ABOUT THE PLOT
IT GETS WORSE. TELL ME
ABOUT THE PLOT OF THIS EPIC.
TELL ME ABOUT THE PLOT OF THIS
EPIC. >> OKAY, SEE, THERE WAS THIS
OF THIS EPIC. >> OKAY, SEE, THERE WAS
THIS GUY, MAX SAVAGE, AND THIS GANG
OKAY, SEE, THERE WAS THIS GUY, MAX SAVAGE,
AND THIS GANG TOOK HIS CAR AND HE HAD
GUY, MAX SAVAGE, AND THIS GANG
TOOK HIS CAR AND HE HAD TO GET IT BACK.
TOOK HIS CAR AND HE HAD TO
GET IT BACK. >> THAT'S THE PLOT?
TO GET IT BACK. >> THAT'S THE
PLOT? >> YEAH, BUT YOU HARDLY
THAT'S THE PLOT? >> YEAH,
BUT YOU HARDLY NOTICE IT.
YEAH, BUT YOU HARDLY NOTICE
IT. WHAT'S REALLY GREAT IS THESE
NOTICE IT. WHAT'S REALLY GREAT IS
THESE GUYS HAVE THESE MACHINE GUNS
WHAT'S REALLY GREAT IS THESE GUYS HAVE THESE
MACHINE GUNS THAT SHOOT FIREBALLS AND THIS
GUYS HAVE THESE MACHINE GUNS THAT SHOOT
FIREBALLS AND THIS ONE GUY HAD THIS BIG BAZOOKA
THAT SHOOT FIREBALLS AND THIS ONE GUY HAD
THIS BIG BAZOOKA THAT BLEW UP WHOLE CITIES.
ONE GUY HAD THIS BIG BAZOOKA THAT BLEW UP
WHOLE CITIES. >> OOH BOY, HAVE I GOT TO SEE
THAT BLEW UP WHOLE CITIES. >> OOH
BOY, HAVE I GOT TO SEE THIS MOVIE.
OOH BOY, HAVE I GOT TO
SEE THIS MOVIE. >> VANESSA!
THIS MOVIE. >> VANESSA!
I'M STILL DOWNSTAIRS,
VANESSA! >> I'M STILL
DOWNSTAIRS, AREN'T I?
I'M STILL DOWNSTAIRS,
AREN'T I? >> NOW, I CAN TAKE
AREN'T I? >> NOW, I CAN TAKE
THE STABBINGS AND THE BEATINGS
NOW, I CAN TAKE THE STABBINGS AND THE
BEATINGS AND THOSE PEOPLE THAT EXPLODE
THE STABBINGS AND THE BEATINGS AND
THOSE PEOPLE THAT EXPLODE EVERY 6 SECONDS.
AND THOSE PEOPLE THAT EXPLODE
EVERY 6 SECONDS. NO PROBLEM.
EVERY 6 SECONDS. NO PROBLEM.
BUT WHAT GOT ME WAS WHEN THIS
NO PROBLEM. BUT WHAT GOT ME WAS
WHEN THIS MOVIE LET OUT, THESE KIDS LEFT
BUT WHAT GOT ME WAS WHEN THIS MOVIE LET
OUT, THESE KIDS LEFT THE THEATER LAUGHING.
MOVIE LET OUT, THESE KIDS LEFT
THE THEATER LAUGHING. >> IT WAS FUN.
THE THEATER LAUGHING. >> IT WAS
FUN. >> SEE, WE'VE GOT ONE IN OUR
IT WAS FUN. >> SEE, WE'VE GOT
ONE IN OUR OWN HOUSE AND WE FEED IT.
SEE, WE'VE GOT ONE IN OUR OWN HOUSE AND
WE FEED IT. >> YOU KNOW, THE REASON WHY YOU
OWN HOUSE AND WE FEED IT. >> YOU KNOW, THE
REASON WHY YOU THINK IT'S FUN IS BECAUSE
YOU KNOW, THE REASON WHY YOU THINK IT'S
FUN IS BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER.
THINK IT'S FUN IS BECAUSE YOU DON'T
KNOW ANY BETTER. NOW NEXT WEEK AT THE OLD
YOU DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER. NOW NEXT
WEEK AT THE OLD CLASSIC THEATER IS A MOVIE
NOW NEXT WEEK AT THE OLD CLASSIC THEATER
IS A MOVIE PLAYING THAT I USED TO LOVE
CLASSIC THEATER IS A MOVIE PLAYING
THAT I USED TO LOVE WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE.
PLAYING THAT I USED TO LOVE WHEN I
WAS YOUR AGE. I'M TAKING YOU AND YOU ARE
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE. I'M TAKING
YOU AND YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT.
I'M TAKING YOU AND YOU ARE GOING
TO LOVE IT. >> [LAUGHING] SURE DAD.
GOING TO LOVE IT. >> [LAUGHING]
SURE DAD. >> CLIFF, I THINK THAT'S
[LAUGHING] SURE DAD. >>
CLIFF, I THINK THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
CLIFF, I THINK THAT'S
A GREAT IDEA. >> OH YEAH.
A GREAT IDEA. >> OH YEAH.
YES, TAKE THAT BOY
OH YEAH. >> YES, TAKE THAT
BOY TO THE MOVIES AND EDUCATE HIM.
YES, TAKE THAT BOY TO THE MOVIES
AND EDUCATE HIM. >> YES, INDEED.
TO THE MOVIES AND EDUCATE HIM.
YES, INDEED. >> WHAT'S PLAYING?
YES, INDEED. >>
WHAT'S PLAYING? >> HMM?
WHAT'S PLAYING? >>
HMM? >> SOMETHING LIKE
HMM? >> SOMETHING LIKE
HUMPHREY BOGART IN "CASABLANCA"?
SOMETHING LIKE HUMPHREY
BOGART IN "CASABLANCA"? >> NO, NO, NO.
HUMPHREY BOGART IN "CASABLANCA"? >>
NO, NO, NO. >> ERROL FLYNN IN "DON JUAN"?
NO, NO, NO. >> ERROL
FLYNN IN "DON JUAN"? >> NO, NO.
ERROL FLYNN IN "DON JUAN"?
NO, NO. >> LAWRENCE OLIVIER
NO, NO. >> LAWRENCE
OLIVIER IN "WUTHERING HEIGHTS."
LAWRENCE OLIVIER IN "WUTHERING
HEIGHTS." >> NO, WE GOT "COLT CURBY
IN "WUTHERING HEIGHTS." >> NO, WE GOT
"COLT CURBY AND SHOOTOUT IN LAREDO."
NO, WE GOT "COLT CURBY AND SHOOTOUT
IN LAREDO." >> YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN.
AND SHOOTOUT IN LAREDO." >> YOU
ARE ON YOUR OWN. >> NO, NO, LISTEN.
YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN. >> NO,
NO, LISTEN. HE HAD A HORSE, COCO
NO, NO, LISTEN. HE HAD A
HORSE, COCO THE WONDER HORSE.
HE HAD A HORSE, COCO THE WONDER
HORSE. THIS WAS THE SMARTEST HORSE
THE WONDER HORSE. THIS WAS THE
SMARTEST HORSE IN THE WORLD, USED TO ROLL
THIS WAS THE SMARTEST HORSE IN THE
WORLD, USED TO ROLL HIS OWN CIGARETTES.
IN THE WORLD, USED TO ROLL
HIS OWN CIGARETTES. [MUSIC]
BACK FROM LAREDO.
HOW WAS IT? >> OKAY.
HOW WAS IT? >> OKAY.
IT WAS GREAT... OKAY?
OKAY. >> IT WAS
GREAT... OKAY? IT WAS GREAT.
IT WAS GREAT... OKAY? IT WAS
GREAT. >> IT WASN'T REALISTIC.
IT WAS GREAT. >> IT WASN'T
REALISTIC. >> WASN'T REALISTIC.
IT WASN'T REALISTIC. >> WASN'T
REALISTIC. MR. "MY GIRLFRIEND IS IN THE
WASN'T REALISTIC. MR. "MY GIRLFRIEND
IS IN THE BUILDING, THROW AN H-BOMB IN,
MR. "MY GIRLFRIEND IS IN THE BUILDING, THROW
AN H-BOMB IN, BLOW UP EVERYTHING TO GET HER,
BUILDING, THROW AN H-BOMB IN, BLOW UP EVERYTHING
TO GET HER, SHE COMES OUT WITH HER HAIR
BLOW UP EVERYTHING TO GET HER, SHE COMES
OUT WITH HER HAIR UNSINGED" SAYS MY MOVIE
SHE COMES OUT WITH HER HAIR UNSINGED"
SAYS MY MOVIE WAS NOT REALISTIC?
UNSINGED" SAYS MY MOVIE WAS
NOT REALISTIC? >> HEY, HIS GUY SHOT
WAS NOT REALISTIC? >> HEY, HIS
GUY SHOT HIS 6-SHOOTER 39 TIMES
HEY, HIS GUY SHOT HIS 6-SHOOTER
39 TIMES WITHOUT RELOADING.
HIS 6-SHOOTER 39 TIMES WITHOUT
RELOADING. HIS GUY FOUGHT 12 MEN
WITHOUT RELOADING. HIS GUY
FOUGHT 12 MEN IN A SALOON AND HIS HAT
HIS GUY FOUGHT 12 MEN IN A
SALOON AND HIS HAT NEVER CAME OFF.
IN A SALOON AND HIS HAT NEVER CAME
OFF. HIS GUY RODE HIS HORSE COCO
NEVER CAME OFF. HIS GUY RODE HIS
HORSE COCO 600 MILES AND PASSED
HIS GUY RODE HIS HORSE COCO 600
MILES AND PASSED THE SAME ROCK 14 TIMES.
WELL, TEX? >> YOU DON'T
GO TO A MOVIE TO COUNT ROCKS.
YOU DON'T GO TO A MOVIE TO
COUNT ROCKS. YOU GO TO A MOVIE TO SEE
TO COUNT ROCKS. YOU GO TO A MOVIE
TO SEE COLT CURBY WHO IS A REAL HERO,
YOU GO TO A MOVIE TO SEE COLT CURBY
WHO IS A REAL HERO, HONEST, DECENT.
COLT CURBY WHO IS A REAL HERO, HONEST,
DECENT. >> I THOUGHT HE WAS A WIMP.
HONEST, DECENT. >> I THOUGHT
HE WAS A WIMP. [LAUGHING]
I THOUGHT HE WAS A WIMP.
[LAUGHING] >> COLT CURBY TAMED THE WEST
[LAUGHING] >> COLT CURBY TAMED
THE WEST WITH A 6-GUN AND A SMILE
COLT CURBY TAMED THE WEST WITH A
6-GUN AND A SMILE AND NOT A BLOWTORCH.
WITH A 6-GUN AND A SMILE AND NOT A
BLOWTORCH. >> HEY, MAX SAVAGE ONLY KILLED
AND NOT A BLOWTORCH. >> HEY, MAX SAVAGE
ONLY KILLED PEOPLE WHO NEEDED KILLING
HEY, MAX SAVAGE ONLY KILLED PEOPLE
WHO NEEDED KILLING OR TOUCHED HIS CAR.
PEOPLE WHO NEEDED KILLING OR
TOUCHED HIS CAR. >> YOU TOUCH COCO
OR TOUCHED HIS CAR. >> YOU
TOUCH COCO THE WONDER HORSE.
YOU TOUCH COCO THE WONDER
HORSE. >> CHILDREN, PLEASE.
THE WONDER HORSE. >> CHILDREN,
PLEASE. >> NO, HE STARTED IT.
CHILDREN, PLEASE. >> NO, HE
STARTED IT. >> ALRIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH.
NO, HE STARTED IT. >> ALRIGHT, THAT'S
ENOUGH. JUST GO WASH UP FOR DINNER
ALRIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH. JUST
GO WASH UP FOR DINNER WITH SOAP.
JUST GO WASH UP FOR DINNER
WITH SOAP. >> YES, MA'AM.
WITH SOAP. >> YES, MA'AM.
COLT CURBY WILL KICK
YES, MA'AM. >> COLT CURBY
WILL KICK MAX SAVAGE'S BUTT.
COLT CURBY WILL KICK
MAX SAVAGE'S BUTT. >> HA!
MAX SAVAGE'S BUTT.
HA! >> ARE TO!
HA! >> ARE TO! >> AM NOT!
ARE TO! >> AM NOT! >> ARE TO!
AM NOT! >> ARE TO! >> AM NOT!
ARE TO! >> AM NOT! >>
HOLD ON THERE, BUCKAROOS!
AM NOT! >> HOLD ON THERE,
BUCKAROOS! NOW, WHAT SEEMS TO BE
HOLD ON THERE, BUCKAROOS!
NOW, WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE RUCKUS?
NOW, WHAT SEEMS TO
BE THE RUCKUS? >> WHAT?
THE RUCKUS? >> WHAT?
IN AMERICAN, THAT IS,
WHAT? >> IN AMERICAN,
THAT IS, WHAT'S THE TROUBLE?
IN AMERICAN, THAT IS, WHAT'S THE
TROUBLE? >> RUDY CALLED ME A BABY
WHAT'S THE TROUBLE? >> RUDY CALLED
ME A BABY BECAUSE OF "DEATH TRACK 2000."
RUDY CALLED ME A BABY BECAUSE
OF "DEATH TRACK 2000." >> DID NOT!
BECAUSE OF "DEATH TRACK
2000." >> DID NOT! >> DID SO!
DID NOT! >>
DID SO! >> STOP IT.
DID SO! >>
STOP IT. >> DID NOT!
STOP IT. >> DID
NOT! >> STOP IT.
DID NOT! >>
STOP IT. >> DID SO!
STOP IT. >> DID SO! >> STOP!
DID SO! >> STOP! >> DID NOT.
STOP! >> DID NOT.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
DID NOT. >> WHAT DID YOU SAY?
I CALLED HER A CHICKEN BABY.
WHAT DID YOU SAY? >> I CALLED
HER A CHICKEN BABY. >> AM NOT.
I CALLED HER A CHICKEN
BABY. >> AM NOT. >> ARE TO.
AM NOT. >> ARE TO. >> AM NOT.
ARE TO. >> AM NOT. >> ARE...
AM NOT. >> ARE... >>
STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP IT!
ARE... >> STOP, STOP,
STOP, STOP IT! NOW HERE, RUDY,
STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP IT! NOW
HERE, RUDY, YOU GO AND YOU HELP MOMMY
NOW HERE, RUDY, YOU GO AND YOU
HELP MOMMY IN THE KITCHEN PLEASE.
YOU GO AND YOU HELP MOMMY IN THE
KITCHEN PLEASE. VANESSA... GO HELP MOM
IN THE KITCHEN PLEASE.
VANESSA... GO HELP MOM IN THE KITCHEN.
VANESSA... GO HELP MOM
IN THE KITCHEN. >> NOW?
IN THE KITCHEN. >> NOW?
DO I HAVE TO SAY NOW?
NOW? >> DO I HAVE
TO SAY NOW? >> UH-HUH.
[MUSIC]
CLIFF? >> MMM. >> I
LIKED TONIGHT'S SUPPER.
MMM. >> I LIKED TONIGHT'S
SUPPER. HOW ABOUT YOU?
I LIKED TONIGHT'S SUPPER.
HOW ABOUT YOU? >> YEAH.
HOW ABOUT YOU? >> YEAH.
SALAD, A LITTLE SALMON.
YEAH. >> SALAD, A
LITTLE SALMON. >> YEAH.
SALAD, A LITTLE SALMON. >>
YEAH. >> WE OUGHT TO EAT LIGHT
YEAH. >> WE OUGHT
TO EAT LIGHT MORE OFTEN.
WE OUGHT TO EAT LIGHT
MORE OFTEN. >> YEAH, I'M STARVING.
MORE OFTEN. >> YEAH,
I'M STARVING. >> ME TOO.
YEAH, I'M STARVING. >> ME TOO.
I SAW SOME LEFTOVER CHICKEN.
ME TOO. >> I SAW SOME
LEFTOVER CHICKEN. >> UH-UH.
I SAW SOME LEFTOVER CHICKEN.
UH-UH. CHEESE AND CRACKERS.
UH-UH. CHEESE AND CRACKERS.
CHEESE AND CRACKERS,
CHEESE AND CRACKERS. >>
CHEESE AND CRACKERS, COMING UP!
CHEESE AND CRACKERS, COMING
UP! >> SWISS CHEESE AND CRACKERS.
COMING UP! >> SWISS CHEESE
AND CRACKERS. >> SWISS IS TOO DRY.
SWISS CHEESE AND CRACKERS. >>
SWISS IS TOO DRY. >> UH, WE GOT CHEDDAR.
SWISS IS TOO DRY. >> UH,
WE GOT CHEDDAR. >> OKAY.
UH, WE GOT CHEDDAR. >> OKAY.
CHEDDAR CHEESE AND CRACKERS.
OKAY. >> CHEDDAR CHEESE AND
CRACKERS. >> WHAT KIND OF CRACKERS?
CHEDDAR CHEESE AND CRACKERS. >> WHAT
KIND OF CRACKERS? >> UH, WE GOT SALTINES,
WHAT KIND OF CRACKERS? >> UH, WE
GOT SALTINES, SALTINES AND CHEDDAR CHEESE.
UH, WE GOT SALTINES, SALTINES
AND CHEDDAR CHEESE. >> OKAY.
SALTINES AND CHEDDAR
CHEESE. >> OKAY. >> GOT IT.
OKAY. >> GOT IT.
MAKE IT BREAD.
BREAD AND CHEDDAR
CHEESE, RIGHT? >> RIGHT.
LIGHTLY TOASTED.
YOU WANT BREAD, CHEDDAR CHEESE,
LIGHTLY TOASTED. >> THAT'S RIGHT.
CHEDDAR CHEESE, LIGHTLY
TOASTED. >> THAT'S RIGHT. >> OKAY.
CLIFF, ON SECOND THOUGHT, WHY
DON'T WE JUST GO WITH THE CHICKEN?
WHY DON'T WE JUST GO WITH THE
CHICKEN? >> WHY DON'T I JUST BRING UP
WITH THE CHICKEN? >> WHY DON'T I
JUST BRING UP THE REFRIGERATOR?
WHY DON'T I JUST BRING UP THE
REFRIGERATOR? >> NOW, YOU'RE TALKING.
HI. IT'S 11:00. I'M ON TIME.
IT'S 11:00. I'M ON TIME. >> HMM.
I'M ON TIME. >> HMM.
OUT WITH FREDDY AGAIN?
HMM. OUT WITH FREDDY
AGAIN? >> HE'S MY MAN.
OUT WITH FREDDY AGAIN? >> HE'S MY
MAN. >> DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME?
HE'S MY MAN. >> DID YOU HAVE A
GOOD TIME? WELL, I KNOW THAT SMILE.
DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME? WELL, I
KNOW THAT SMILE. IT'S THE KIND OF SMILE
WELL, I KNOW THAT SMILE. IT'S THE
KIND OF SMILE THAT MAKES FATHERS OLD.
IT'S THE KIND OF SMILE THAT MAKES
FATHERS OLD. >> GOOD NIGHT, DADDY.
THAT MAKES FATHERS OLD. >> GOOD
NIGHT, DADDY. >> GOODNIGHT, DEAR.
GOOD NIGHT, DADDY. >>
GOODNIGHT, DEAR. [DISHES CLANKING]
VANESSA? >> HI DAD. >> HI.
HI DAD. >> HI.
LOOKS ALMOST DONE.
HI. LOOKS ALMOST
DONE. SMELLS GOOD.
LOOKS ALMOST DONE.
SMELLS GOOD. WHAT IS IT?
SMELLS GOOD. WHAT
IS IT? >> COFFEE.
WHAT IS IT? >>
COFFEE. >> COFFEE.
COFFEE. >> COFFEE. >>
WOULD YOU CARE TO JOIN ME?
COFFEE. >> WOULD YOU CARE
TO JOIN ME? >> OH YEAH, THANK YOU.
WOULD YOU CARE TO JOIN ME? >> OH
YEAH, THANK YOU. UM, VANESSA, CAN I ASK YOU
OH YEAH, THANK YOU. UM,
VANESSA, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?
UM, VANESSA, CAN I ASK
YOU A QUESTION? >> OH, SURE.
A QUESTION? >> OH, SURE. >>
DO YOU HAVE A NIGHTTIME JOB
OH, SURE. >> DO YOU HAVE A
NIGHTTIME JOB THAT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT?
DO YOU HAVE A NIGHTTIME JOB THAT I
DON'T KNOW ABOUT? LIKE DRIVING A TRUCK
THAT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT? LIKE
DRIVING A TRUCK OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
LIKE DRIVING A TRUCK OR SOMETHING
LIKE THAT? WHY ARE YOU DRINKING COFFEE?
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT? WHY ARE YOU
DRINKING COFFEE? >> I'M AFRAID TO GO BACK
WHY ARE YOU DRINKING COFFEE?
I'M AFRAID TO GO BACK TO SLEEP.
I'M AFRAID TO GO BACK TO
SLEEP. >> I HAD A BAD DREAM.
TO SLEEP. >> I HAD A BAD
DREAM. >> HAD A BAD DREAM.
I HAD A BAD DREAM. >> HAD A
BAD DREAM. OH, THAT'S ENOUGH.
HAD A BAD DREAM. OH,
THAT'S ENOUGH. THANK YOU, DEAR.
OH, THAT'S ENOUGH. THANK YOU,
DEAR. >> THIS COFFEE DOES WORK,
THANK YOU, DEAR. >> THIS
COFFEE DOES WORK, DOESN'T IT?
THIS COFFEE DOES WORK,
DOESN'T IT? OH, YES IT DOES.
DOESN'T IT? OH, YES IT DOES.
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DREAM.
OH, YES IT DOES. TELL ME ABOUT YOUR
DREAM. >> SEE, THERE WAS THIS REAL MEAN
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DREAM. >> SEE, THERE WAS
THIS REAL MEAN GANG OF KIDNAPPERS AND THEY
SEE, THERE WAS THIS REAL MEAN GANG OF KIDNAPPERS
AND THEY TOOK MAX SAVAGE'S CAR, AND HE
GANG OF KIDNAPPERS AND THEY TOOK MAX SAVAGE'S
CAR, AND HE HAD THESE GUNS THAT SHOT FIRE...
TOOK MAX SAVAGE'S CAR, AND HE HAD THESE GUNS
THAT SHOT FIRE... >> WAIT A MINUTE, SEE?
HAD THESE GUNS THAT SHOT FIRE... >>
WAIT A MINUTE, SEE? YOU'RE SCARED BECAUSE
WAIT A MINUTE, SEE? YOU'RE SCARED
BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU HEARD THEO SAY
YOU'RE SCARED BECAUSE OF WHAT
YOU HEARD THEO SAY 2 DAYS AGO.
OF WHAT YOU HEARD THEO SAY 2 DAYS
AGO. NOW, IMAGINE IF YOU HAD GONE
2 DAYS AGO. NOW, IMAGINE IF
YOU HAD GONE TO THAT MOVIE.
NOW, IMAGINE IF YOU HAD GONE
TO THAT MOVIE. >> DAD, I DID.
TO THAT MOVIE. >> DAD, I DID.
HOW'D YOU GET A TICKET?
DAD, I DID. >> HOW'D YOU
GET A TICKET? >> IT'S EASY.
HOW'D YOU GET A TICKET? >> IT'S
EASY. THERE'S THIS HIGH SCHOOL GUY
IT'S EASY. THERE'S THIS HIGH SCHOOL
GUY WHO STANDS OUTSIDE THE THEATER.
THERE'S THIS HIGH SCHOOL GUY WHO STANDS
OUTSIDE THE THEATER. HE CAN GROW A MOUSTACHE.
WHO STANDS OUTSIDE THE THEATER. HE CAN
GROW A MOUSTACHE. WE CALL HIM MOVIE DAVE
HE CAN GROW A MOUSTACHE. WE
CALL HIM MOVIE DAVE AND FOR 50 CENTS,
WE CALL HIM MOVIE DAVE AND FOR
50 CENTS, HE'LL TAKE A LITTLE KID IN.
AND FOR 50 CENTS, HE'LL TAKE A
LITTLE KID IN. HE IS CLEANING UP.
HE'LL TAKE A LITTLE KID IN. HE IS
CLEANING UP. >> WAS IT WORTH IT?
HE IS CLEANING UP. >> WAS IT
WORTH IT? >> IT WAS HORRIBLE.
WAS IT WORTH IT? >> IT WAS
HORRIBLE. FIRST, I COVERED MY EYES
IT WAS HORRIBLE. FIRST, I COVERED
MY EYES AND THEN I HID UNDER MY SEAT.
FIRST, I COVERED MY EYES AND THEN I HID
UNDER MY SEAT. AND THEN I WENT OUT INTO
AND THEN I HID UNDER MY SEAT. AND THEN I
WENT OUT INTO THE LOBBY AND WATCHED THE GUY
AND THEN I WENT OUT INTO THE LOBBY
AND WATCHED THE GUY TURN HOT DOGS.
THE LOBBY AND WATCHED THE GUY TURN
HOT DOGS. >> WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LEAVE?
TURN HOT DOGS. >> WHY DIDN'T
YOU JUST LEAVE? >> LEAVE?
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LEAVE? >>
LEAVE? >> OKAY, WHAT WE HAVE TO DO IS
LEAVE? >> OKAY, WHAT WE
HAVE TO DO IS GET YOU IN THE BED.
OKAY, WHAT WE HAVE TO DO IS GET YOU
IN THE BED. TOMORROW, YOU AND I ARE GOING
GET YOU IN THE BED. TOMORROW, YOU
AND I ARE GOING TO DISCUSS A TREMENDOUS
TOMORROW, YOU AND I ARE GOING TO
DISCUSS A TREMENDOUS GROUNDING.
TO DISCUSS A TREMENDOUS
GROUNDING. LET'S GO.
GROUNDING. LET'S GO.
THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE
LET'S GO. THERE'S SUPPOSED
TO BE A CHILD BEHIND ME.
THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A CHILD BEHIND
ME. LOOK DAD, I GO BACK TO MY ROOM
A CHILD BEHIND ME. LOOK DAD, I GO
BACK TO MY ROOM AND I CLOSE MY EYES
LOOK DAD, I GO BACK TO MY ROOM AND I
CLOSE MY EYES AND THE KIDNAPPERS SCARE ME,
AND I CLOSE MY EYES AND THE KIDNAPPERS
SCARE ME, SO I'M RIGHT BACK HERE
AND THE KIDNAPPERS SCARE ME, SO
I'M RIGHT BACK HERE IN THE KITCHEN.
SO I'M RIGHT BACK HERE IN THE
KITCHEN. SO I CAN'T I JUST STAY HERE.
IN THE KITCHEN. SO I CAN'T I JUST STAY
HERE. >> WOULD IT BE BETTER IF YOU
SO I CAN'T I JUST STAY HERE. >> WOULD IT
BE BETTER IF YOU SLEPT WITH US TONIGHT?
WOULD IT BE BETTER IF YOU SLEPT
WITH US TONIGHT? >> OH, THANKS A LOT, DAD.
SLEPT WITH US TONIGHT? >> OH, THANKS
A LOT, DAD. I WOULDN'T HAVE TO GO IN MY
OH, THANKS A LOT, DAD. I WOULDN'T
HAVE TO GO IN MY ROOM AND I WOULDN'T HAVE
I WOULDN'T HAVE TO GO IN MY ROOM AND
I WOULDN'T HAVE TO DRINK THAT COFFEE.
ROOM AND I WOULDN'T HAVE TO DRINK
THAT COFFEE. >> WE HAD SOMETHING LIKE THIS
TO DRINK THAT COFFEE. >> WE HAD
SOMETHING LIKE THIS IN MED SCHOOL.
WE HAD SOMETHING LIKE THIS IN MED
SCHOOL. TAKE 1 SIP AND YOU WERE AWAKE
IN MED SCHOOL. TAKE 1 SIP AND YOU
WERE AWAKE FOR 6 HOURS; 2 SIPS, YOU WERE
TAKE 1 SIP AND YOU WERE AWAKE FOR 6 HOURS;
2 SIPS, YOU WERE AWAKE FOR 72 HOURS; DRINK A
FOR 6 HOURS; 2 SIPS, YOU WERE AWAKE FOR 72
HOURS; DRINK A CUP, YOU NEVER BLINK IN LIFE.
[MUSIC]
OH!
UH!
CLAIR, MIDDLE, GO IN THE
MIDDLE. NO, IN THE MIDDLE.
GO IN THE MIDDLE. NO, IN
THE MIDDLE. >> BATHROOM.
TWO NIGHTS OF THIS IS
ENOUGH. CLAIR, I'M GOING DOWN
IS ENOUGH. CLAIR, I'M GOING
DOWN TO SLEEP ON THE SOFA.
CLAIR, I'M GOING DOWN TO
SLEEP ON THE SOFA. [SNORING]
TO SLEEP ON THE SOFA.
[SNORING] SHUT UP.
[DOOR SLAMMING] >> YOU MEN ARE
DIRT. >> UH-OH, FREDDY MESSED UP.
YOU MEN ARE DIRT. >> UH-OH, FREDDY
MESSED UP. >> DADDY, HE TAKES ME TO THIS
UH-OH, FREDDY MESSED UP. >> DADDY,
HE TAKES ME TO THIS RESTAURANT, RIGHT?
DADDY, HE TAKES ME TO THIS
RESTAURANT, RIGHT? AND THE WHOLE TIME,
RESTAURANT, RIGHT? AND THE WHOLE
TIME, HE'S LOOKING AT THE WAITRESS.
AND THE WHOLE TIME, HE'S LOOKING AT
THE WAITRESS. >> OH, FREDDY, FREDDY.
HE'S LOOKING AT THE WAITRESS. >> OH, FREDDY,
FREDDY. >> SHE'S TELLING US THE CATCH
OH, FREDDY, FREDDY. >> SHE'S TELLING
US THE CATCH OF THE DAY, AND HE'S LOOKING
SHE'S TELLING US THE CATCH OF
THE DAY, AND HE'S LOOKING AT HER LEGS.
OF THE DAY, AND HE'S LOOKING
AT HER LEGS. >> NO FREDDY.
AT HER LEGS. >> NO
FREDDY. >> SO I GOT MAD.
NO FREDDY. >> SO I
GOT MAD. I SAID, "FREDDY,
SO I GOT MAD. I SAID, "FREDDY,
THOSE AREN'T ON THE MENU."
I SAID, "FREDDY, THOSE AREN'T
ON THE MENU." [LAUGHING]
THOSE AREN'T ON THE MENU."
[LAUGHING] >> DADDY, I WAS GREAT.
[LAUGHING] >> DADDY, I WAS
GREAT. I DIDN'T SAY, "TAKE ME HOME."
DADDY, I WAS GREAT. I DIDN'T SAY,
"TAKE ME HOME." I SAID, "I'LL HAVE A CAVIAR
I DIDN'T SAY, "TAKE ME HOME." I SAID, "I'LL
HAVE A CAVIAR APPETIZER PLEASE," 12 BUCKS.
I SAID, "I'LL HAVE A CAVIAR APPETIZER
PLEASE," 12 BUCKS. I SAID, "I'LL HAVE THE MAIN
APPETIZER PLEASE," 12 BUCKS. I SAID,
"I'LL HAVE THE MAIN LOBSTER," 24.50.
I SAID, "I'LL HAVE THE MAIN
LOBSTER," 24.50. >> HA, HA, HA.
LOBSTER," 24.50. >> HA, HA,
HA. "AND THE CHERRIES JUBILEE,"
HA, HA, HA. "AND THE
CHERRIES JUBILEE," 8 DOLLARS.
"AND THE CHERRIES JUBILEE,"
8 DOLLARS. AND THEN I SAID,
8 DOLLARS. AND THEN I
SAID, "TAKE ME HOME."
AND THEN I SAID, "TAKE ME
HOME." >> WELL DEAR, IN THE WORDS
"TAKE ME HOME." >> WELL DEAR,
IN THE WORDS OF COLT CURBY,
WELL DEAR, IN THE WORDS OF
COLT CURBY, "I LIKE YOUR STYLE."
OF COLT CURBY, "I LIKE YOUR
STYLE." >> THANKS DADDY.
"I LIKE YOUR STYLE." >> THANKS
DADDY. >> GOODNIGHT, DEAR.
MOMMY, WHAT HAPPENED? >> OH
HONEY, YOU FELL. LISTEN BABY, NOW WE NEED
OH HONEY, YOU FELL. LISTEN BABY, NOW
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THESE SLEEPING
LISTEN BABY, NOW WE NEED TO TALK
ABOUT THESE SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS.
TO TALK ABOUT THESE SLEEPING
ARRANGEMENTS. >> YOU KICKING ME OUT?
ARRANGEMENTS. >> YOU KICKING ME
OUT? >> HONEY, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
YOU KICKING ME OUT? >> HONEY, I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH BECAUSE I'VE BEEN
HONEY, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING
THROUGH BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THERE MYSELF.
GOING THROUGH BECAUSE I'VE BEEN
THERE MYSELF. WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I USED
THERE MYSELF. WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,
I USED TO THINK I SAW A WITCH IN A TREE
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I USED TO THINK I
SAW A WITCH IN A TREE OUTSIDE MY WINDOW.
TO THINK I SAW A WITCH IN A TREE
OUTSIDE MY WINDOW. >> YOU DID?
OUTSIDE MY WINDOW.
YOU DID? >> MM-HMM.
YOU DID? >> MM-HMM.
SHE HAD SLIMY GREEN SKIN,
MM-HMM. SHE HAD SLIMY GREEN
SKIN, RAISIN TEETH ALL BUNCHED UP
SHE HAD SLIMY GREEN SKIN, RAISIN TEETH ALL
BUNCHED UP TOGETHER, STRINGY WHITE HAIR
RAISIN TEETH ALL BUNCHED UP TOGETHER,
STRINGY WHITE HAIR AND SHE USED TO CALL,
TOGETHER, STRINGY WHITE HAIR
AND SHE USED TO CALL, "CLAIR! CLAIR!"
AND SHE USED TO CALL,
"CLAIR! CLAIR!" >> OH, MOM.
"CLAIR! CLAIR!" >> OH, MOM.
AND AS SOON AS I SAW HER,
OH, MOM. >> AND AS SOON AS I
SAW HER, I JUMPED UP AND I RAN TO MY
AND AS SOON AS I SAW HER, I JUMPED
UP AND I RAN TO MY PARENTS' ROOM.
I JUMPED UP AND I RAN TO MY PARENTS'
ROOM. >> YOU DID THE RIGHT THING.
PARENTS' ROOM. >> YOU DID THE RIGHT
THING. >> AND AFTER I STAYED THERE FOR
YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. >> AND AFTER I
STAYED THERE FOR A WHILE, MY MOTHER GAVE ME
AND AFTER I STAYED THERE FOR A WHILE, MY
MOTHER GAVE ME SOMETHING THAT HELPED ME
A WHILE, MY MOTHER GAVE ME SOMETHING
THAT HELPED ME TO GO BACK TO MY ROOM.
SOMETHING THAT HELPED ME TO GO
BACK TO MY ROOM. >> WHAT'D SHE GIVE YOU?
TO GO BACK TO MY ROOM. >>
WHAT'D SHE GIVE YOU? >> THIS.
WHAT'D SHE GIVE YOU? >>
THIS. >> SHE GAVE YOU SOME JUNK
THIS. >> SHE GAVE
YOU SOME JUNK JEWELRY.
SHE GAVE YOU SOME JUNK
JEWELRY. >> THIS MEDAL HAS BEEN
JEWELRY. >> THIS MEDAL HAS
BEEN IN OUR FAMILY SINCE 1859.
THIS MEDAL HAS BEEN IN
OUR FAMILY SINCE 1859. >> WOW.
IN OUR FAMILY SINCE 1859. >> WOW.
AND WHEN MY MOTHER GAVE ME
WOW. >> AND WHEN MY MOTHER
GAVE ME THIS MEDAL, I KNEW I WOULD
AND WHEN MY MOTHER GAVE ME THIS MEDAL,
I KNEW I WOULD NEVER AGAIN BE BOTHERED
THIS MEDAL, I KNEW I WOULD NEVER
AGAIN BE BOTHERED BY THAT WITCH.
NEVER AGAIN BE BOTHERED BY THAT
WITCH. MAY THIS MEDAL MAKE YOU BRAVE.
I FEEL BETTER ALREADY. >> AND NOW
IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM.
AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO BACK
TO YOUR ROOM. >> I KNEW IT WAS COMING.
TO GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM. >> I KNEW IT
WAS COMING. IT'S GOING TO BE HARD, MOM,
I KNEW IT WAS COMING. IT'S GOING
TO BE HARD, MOM, BUT I'M GOING TO GO
IT'S GOING TO BE HARD, MOM,
BUT I'M GOING TO GO BACK IN THERE.
BUT I'M GOING TO GO BACK IN
THERE. I'M GOING TO GO TO SLEEP,
BACK IN THERE. I'M GOING TO GO TO
SLEEP, AND I'M GOING TO SEE THOSE
I'M GOING TO GO TO SLEEP, AND I'M GOING
TO SEE THOSE KIDNAPPERS STARING STRAIGHT
AND I'M GOING TO SEE THOSE
KIDNAPPERS STARING STRAIGHT AT ME.
KIDNAPPERS STARING STRAIGHT AT
ME. BUT NO MATTER HOW SCARED I GET,
AT ME. BUT NO MATTER HOW SCARED
I GET, I'M GOING TO STAY IN MY ROOM.
BUT NO MATTER HOW SCARED I GET, I'M GOING
TO STAY IN MY ROOM. >> OH, I LOVE YOU.
I'M GOING TO STAY IN MY ROOM.
OH, I LOVE YOU. >> MOM?
OH, I LOVE YOU.
MOM? >> HUH?
MOM? >> HUH? >> THOSE
EARRINGS WOULD LOOK
HUH? >> THOSE EARRINGS WOULD
LOOK SO GREAT WITH MY MEDAL.
WE HAVE DEFINITELY GOT A
DAYTIME COUCH. >> LOOK DADDY,
A DAYTIME COUCH. >> LOOK
DADDY, MY BRAVERY MEDAL.
LOOK DADDY, MY BRAVERY
MEDAL. MOMMY GAVE IT TO ME.
MY BRAVERY MEDAL. MOMMY
GAVE IT TO ME. >> OH MY GOODNESS,
MOMMY GAVE IT TO ME. >> OH MY
GOODNESS, WELL CONGRATULATIONS.
OH MY GOODNESS, WELL
CONGRATULATIONS. >> GOODNIGHT, MAMA.
WELL CONGRATULATIONS. >>
GOODNIGHT, MAMA. >> GOODNIGHT, BABY.
GOODNIGHT, MAMA. >>
GOODNIGHT, BABY. >> NIGHT, DADDY.
GOODNIGHT, BABY. >> NIGHT,
DADDY. >> GOODNIGHT, HONEY.
NIGHT, DADDY. >> GOODNIGHT,
HONEY. >> I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
GOODNIGHT, HONEY. >> I'LL SEE
YOU IN THE MORNING. >> LET'S HOPE SO.
I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING. >> LET'S
HOPE SO. >> THAT'S MY 880 RELAY MEDAL.
LET'S HOPE SO. >> THAT'S MY 880
RELAY MEDAL. I HAD TO RUN FOR 2 YEARS
THAT'S MY 880 RELAY MEDAL. I HAD TO
RUN FOR 2 YEARS TO EARN THAT MEDAL.
I HAD TO RUN FOR 2 YEARS TO EARN
THAT MEDAL. >> WELL, YOU GOTTA GIVE
TO EARN THAT MEDAL. >> WELL, YOU
GOTTA GIVE SOMETHING TO GET SOMETHING.
WELL, YOU GOTTA GIVE SOMETHING TO GET
SOMETHING. >> IN THE WORDS OF COLT CURBY...
SOMETHING TO GET SOMETHING. >> IN
THE WORDS OF COLT CURBY... [MUSIC]
[MUSIC]
[MUSIC]
YOU TELL HER, FREDDY, THAT I HEARD THAT
HE SAID THAT SHE DID AND HE NEVER LIES.
HEARD THAT HE SAID THAT SHE DID AND
HE NEVER LIES. FREDDY, JUST TELL HER.
AND HE NEVER LIES. FREDDY,
JUST TELL HER. UH-HUH, SERIOUSLY.
FREDDY, JUST TELL HER. UH-HUH,
SERIOUSLY. >> THERE SHE IS!
UH-HUH, SERIOUSLY. >>
THERE SHE IS! >> YES, I KNOW
THERE SHE IS! >> YES, I
KNOW WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE.
YES, I KNOW WHAT SHE LOOKS
LIKE. >> VANESSA, YOUR SISTER
WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE. >> VANESSA, YOUR
SISTER JUST CAME DOWN TO MY OFFICE,
VANESSA, YOUR SISTER JUST CAME DOWN TO
MY OFFICE, INTERRUPTED MY WORK TO TELL ME
JUST CAME DOWN TO MY OFFICE, INTERRUPTED
MY WORK TO TELL ME THAT YOU BOTHERED HER.
INTERRUPTED MY WORK TO TELL ME THAT
YOU BOTHERED HER. >> SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE
THAT YOU BOTHERED HER. >> SHE
SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT, DAD,
SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE
THAT, DAD, YOU'RE A VERY BUSY MAN.
DONE THAT, DAD, YOU'RE A VERY
BUSY MAN. >> THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
YOU'RE A VERY BUSY MAN. >>
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT. >> YES, IT IS.
THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT. >>
YES, IT IS. YOU BRING THE LIVES
YES, IT IS. YOU BRING
THE LIVES INTO THE WORLD.
YOU BRING THE LIVES INTO THE WORLD.
WITHOUT YOU, WOMEN WOULD STAY
INTO THE WORLD. WITHOUT YOU,
WOMEN WOULD STAY PREGNANT FOREVER.
WITHOUT YOU, WOMEN WOULD STAY PREGNANT
FOREVER. >> THE QUESTION IS WHY ARE YOU
PREGNANT FOREVER. >> THE QUESTION
IS WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING YOUR SISTER?
THE QUESTION IS WHY ARE YOU
BOTHERING YOUR SISTER? >> I DON'T KNOW.
BOTHERING YOUR SISTER? >> I
DON'T KNOW. >> WELL, DIDN'T I TELL YOU
I DON'T KNOW. >> WELL, DIDN'T
I TELL YOU NOT TO BOTHER HER?
WELL, DIDN'T I TELL YOU
NOT TO BOTHER HER? >> UH-HUH.
NOT TO BOTHER HER? >> UH-HUH.
THEN, WHY ARE YOU STILL
UH-HUH. >> THEN, WHY
ARE YOU STILL BOTHERING HER?
THEN, WHY ARE YOU STILL
BOTHERING HER? >> I DON'T KNOW.
BOTHERING HER? >> I DON'T KNOW.
ALRIGHT, YOU TWO ARE GOING
I DON'T KNOW. >> ALRIGHT, YOU
TWO ARE GOING TO HAVE TO LEARN
ALRIGHT, YOU TWO ARE GOING TO
HAVE TO LEARN TO PLAY TOGETHER.
TO HAVE TO LEARN TO PLAY
TOGETHER. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
TO PLAY TOGETHER. DO
YOU UNDERSTAND? FINE.
DO YOU UNDERSTAND? FINE.
NOW, GET AWAY FROM EACH OTHER.
FINE. NOW, GET AWAY FROM
EACH OTHER. >> STOP IT!
NOW, GET AWAY FROM EACH
OTHER. >> STOP IT! >> HEY!
STOP IT! >> HEY! >> I
WAS JUST HURRYING HER
HEY! >> I WAS JUST
HURRYING HER ALONG.
I WAS JUST HURRYING
HER ALONG. >> THAT'S ALRIGHT.
ALONG. >> THAT'S ALRIGHT.
SHE'S ONLY 5 YEARS OLD NOW, BUT
THAT'S ALRIGHT. SHE'S ONLY 5 YEARS OLD
NOW, BUT SHE'S GOING TO GROW UP AND SHE
SHE'S ONLY 5 YEARS OLD NOW, BUT SHE'S GOING TO
GROW UP AND SHE MAY BEGIN TO DO BODYBUILDING,
SHE'S GOING TO GROW UP AND SHE MAY BEGIN TO
DO BODYBUILDING, COME BACK, FIND YOU AND SAY,
MAY BEGIN TO DO BODYBUILDING, COME BACK,
FIND YOU AND SAY, "REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES YOU
COME BACK, FIND YOU AND SAY,
"REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES YOU PUSHED ME?"
"REMEMBER ALL THE TIMES YOU
PUSHED ME?" AND CLEAN YOUR CLOCK.
PUSHED ME?" AND CLEAN
YOUR CLOCK. >> YEAH, DAD.
AND CLEAN YOUR CLOCK. >> YEAH,
DAD. >> DENISE, DIDN'T I ASK YOU
YEAH, DAD. >> DENISE, DIDN'T
I ASK YOU TO LOOK AFTER THEM?
DENISE, DIDN'T I ASK YOU TO
LOOK AFTER THEM? GIVE ME THIS.
TO LOOK AFTER THEM?
GIVE ME THIS. HELLO?
GIVE ME THIS. HELLO? FREDDY?
HELLO? FREDDY? HI, I'M
GOING TO HANG UP NOW.
FREDDY? HI, I'M GOING TO HANG
UP NOW. YOU CAN KEEP TALKING
HI, I'M GOING TO HANG UP NOW. YOU
CAN KEEP TALKING IF YOU WANT TO.
YOU CAN KEEP TALKING IF YOU
WANT TO. >> YOU KNOW, DADDY,
IF YOU WANT TO. >> YOU KNOW,
DADDY, THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN IF I HAD
YOU KNOW, DADDY, THIS WOULDN'T
HAPPEN IF I HAD MY OWN PHONE IN MY ROOM.
THIS WOULDN'T HAPPEN IF I HAD MY OWN PHONE
IN MY ROOM. >> IF YOU HAD YOUR OWN PHONE,
MY OWN PHONE IN MY ROOM. >> IF YOU HAD
YOUR OWN PHONE, WE WOULD NEVER SEE YOU.
IF YOU HAD YOUR OWN PHONE, WE WOULD
NEVER SEE YOU. AND YOU WOULD COME OUT
WE WOULD NEVER SEE YOU. AND YOU
WOULD COME OUT OF THE ROOM ONE DAY
AND YOU WOULD COME OUT OF THE ROOM
ONE DAY AND WE WOULD WONDER WHO YOU ARE
OF THE ROOM ONE DAY AND WE WOULD
WONDER WHO YOU ARE AND CHARGE YOU RENT.
AND WE WOULD WONDER WHO YOU ARE AND
CHARGE YOU RENT. >> I CAN'T TALK TO MY OWN
AND CHARGE YOU RENT. >> I
CAN'T TALK TO MY OWN BOYFRIEND?
I CAN'T TALK TO MY OWN
BOYFRIEND? >> OF COURSE YOU CAN.
BOYFRIEND? >> OF COURSE
YOU CAN. >> WHERE?
OF COURSE YOU CAN. >> WHERE?
ANY PAYPHONE IN NEW YORK.
WHERE? >> ANY PAYPHONE
IN NEW YORK. >> DADDY.
[SLAMMING]
MAKING BISCUITS? NO,
STOP. STOP NOW, CUT IT OUT.
NO, STOP. STOP NOW,
CUT IT OUT. COME ON.
STOP NOW, CUT IT OUT. COME
ON. NOW LOOK, YOU'RE SQUASHING
COME ON. NOW LOOK, YOU'RE
SQUASHING GRAPES, MAKING A MESS
NOW LOOK, YOU'RE SQUASHING GRAPES,
MAKING A MESS OF THE FRUIT AND BOTHERING
GRAPES, MAKING A MESS OF THE
FRUIT AND BOTHERING YOUR SISTER.
OF THE FRUIT AND BOTHERING
YOUR SISTER. TELL DAD, TELL DAD
YOUR SISTER. TELL DAD, TELL
DAD WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
TELL DAD, TELL DAD WHAT'S
THE PROBLEM? PLEASE, COME ON.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM? PLEASE, COME
ON. >> WELL, HOW COME MOM TAKES
PLEASE, COME ON. >> WELL, HOW COME
MOM TAKES THEO TO SEE THE NEW MOVIE
WELL, HOW COME MOM TAKES THEO TO SEE THE
NEW MOVIE "DEATH TRACK 2000" AND NOT ME.
THEO TO SEE THE NEW MOVIE "DEATH TRACK 2000"
AND NOT ME. >> BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HANDLE
"DEATH TRACK 2000" AND NOT ME. >>
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE SCARY STUFF.
BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE
SCARY STUFF. EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT.
THE SCARY STUFF. EVERYBODY
KNOWS THAT. YOU KNOW THAT.
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. YOU KNOW
THAT. I READ FOR YOU "LITTLE BO PEEP
YOU KNOW THAT. I READ FOR YOU "LITTLE
BO PEEP HAS LOST HER SHEEP" WHEN YOU
I READ FOR YOU "LITTLE BO PEEP HAS LOST
HER SHEEP" WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE KID,
HAS LOST HER SHEEP" WHEN YOU WERE
A LITTLE KID, YOU CRIED FOR 2 WEEKS.
WERE A LITTLE KID, YOU CRIED FOR 2
WEEKS. >> JANET MEISER'S PARENTS
YOU CRIED FOR 2 WEEKS. >> JANET
MEISER'S PARENTS LET HER SEE IT.
JANET MEISER'S PARENTS LET
HER SEE IT. >> I DOUBT THAT VERY,
LET HER SEE IT. >> I DOUBT
THAT VERY, VERY MUCH.
I DOUBT THAT VERY,
VERY MUCH. >> YES, THEY DID.
VERY MUCH. >> YES, THEY DID.
IF YOU WANT ME TO, I WILL
YES, THEY DID. >> IF YOU WANT ME
TO, I WILL CALL JANET MEISER'S PARENTS
IF YOU WANT ME TO, I WILL CALL JANET MEISER'S
PARENTS AND ASK THEM THAT AND EMBARRASS
CALL JANET MEISER'S PARENTS AND ASK
THEM THAT AND EMBARRASS YOU ALL TO PIECES.
AND ASK THEM THAT AND EMBARRASS
YOU ALL TO PIECES. I'M GOING TO THE PHONE.
YOU BETTER STOP ME BEFORE I GET
THERE. THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE.
BEFORE I GET THERE. THIS IS YOUR
LAST CHANCE. I'M PICKING UP THE PHONE.
THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE. I'M PICKING UP
THE PHONE. HAVE THE RECEIVER IN MY HAND.
I'M PICKING UP THE PHONE. HAVE
THE RECEIVER IN MY HAND. >> 555-1379.
HAVE THE RECEIVER IN MY
HAND. >> 555-1379. >> IT'S RINGING.
555-1379. >> IT'S RINGING.
YOU BETTER PRAY THEY'RE
IT'S RINGING. YOU BETTER
PRAY THEY'RE NOT HOME.
YOU BETTER PRAY THEY'RE
NOT HOME. THEY'RE ANSWERING.
NOT HOME. THEY'RE
ANSWERING. HELLO, MRS. MEISER.
THEY'RE ANSWERING. HELLO,
MRS. MEISER. DR. HUXTABLE HERE.
HELLO, MRS. MEISER. DR. HUXTABLE
HERE. NICE... WHY AM I SINGING?
DR. HUXTABLE HERE. NICE... WHY
AM I SINGING? OH, HI, I'M SORRY.
NICE... WHY AM I SINGING?
OH, HI, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.
OH, HI, I'M SORRY. I'M
SORRY. I WANTED TO ASK YOU,
I'M SORRY. I WANTED TO ASK
YOU, DID YOU LET JANET SEE
I WANTED TO ASK YOU, DID YOU
LET JANET SEE "DEATH TRACK 2000"?
DID YOU LET JANET SEE "DEATH TRACK
2000"? A-HA, ALRIGHT, AND THANK YOU.
"DEATH TRACK 2000"? A-HA,
ALRIGHT, AND THANK YOU. SHE DID.
A-HA, ALRIGHT, AND THANK YOU. SHE
DID. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
SHE DID. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT
MEANS? NOTHING, BECAUSE YOU'RE
AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
NOTHING, BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL NOT GOING.
NOTHING, BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL
NOT GOING. >> DADDY, IT'S NOT FAIR.
STILL NOT GOING. >> DADDY, IT'S NOT
FAIR. EVERYONE GETS TO GO BUT ME.
DADDY, IT'S NOT FAIR. EVERYONE GETS TO
GO BUT ME. >> VANESSA, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE
EVERYONE GETS TO GO BUT ME. >> VANESSA, HOW
MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEGGED US TO TAKE YOU
VANESSA, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEGGED US
TO TAKE YOU TO SEE A SCARY MOVIE AND THEN
YOU BEGGED US TO TAKE YOU TO SEE A SCARY
MOVIE AND THEN YOU WOUND UP BEING SO SCARED
TO SEE A SCARY MOVIE AND THEN YOU WOUND UP
BEING SO SCARED THAT YOU HAD TO SLEEP WITH US?
YOU WOUND UP BEING SO SCARED THAT
YOU HAD TO SLEEP WITH US? >> TWICE.
THAT YOU HAD TO SLEEP WITH US?
TWICE. >> HUNDREDS OF TIMES.
TWICE. >> HUNDREDS
OF TIMES. >> NOT HUNDREDS.
HUNDREDS OF TIMES. >>
NOT HUNDREDS. >> NOT TWICE.
NOT HUNDREDS. >> NOT
TWICE. >> DAD, YOU MISSED
NOT TWICE. >> DAD,
YOU MISSED A GREAT MOVIE.
DAD, YOU MISSED A
GREAT MOVIE. >> YEAH?
A GREAT MOVIE. >> YEAH?
IT WAS NONSTOP BLOOD
YEAH? >> IT WAS
NONSTOP BLOOD EVERYWHERE.
IT WAS NONSTOP BLOOD
EVERYWHERE. DID I GET ANY ON ME?
EVERYWHERE. DID I GET ANY
ON ME? >> I'M TELLING YOU,
DID I GET ANY ON ME? >> I'M TELLING
YOU, SHE DOESN'T KNOW A CLASSIC
I'M TELLING YOU, SHE DOESN'T
KNOW A CLASSIC WHEN SHE SEES ONE.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW A CLASSIC WHEN
SHE SEES ONE. >> OH, WHEN THEY WERE NOT
WHEN SHE SEES ONE. >> OH, WHEN THEY
WERE NOT SHOOTING OR BLOWING UP A CAR
OH, WHEN THEY WERE NOT SHOOTING OR BLOWING
UP A CAR OR A BUILDING, THEY JUST STOOD
SHOOTING OR BLOWING UP A CAR OR A
BUILDING, THEY JUST STOOD THERE CURSING.
OR A BUILDING, THEY JUST STOOD
THERE CURSING. THE FOULEST MOUTHS
THERE CURSING. THE FOULEST
MOUTHS I'VE EVER HEARD.
THE FOULEST MOUTHS
I'VE EVER HEARD. >> YEAH.
I'VE EVER HEARD. >> YEAH. DAD,
SHE WAS REAL EMBARRASSED.
YEAH. DAD, SHE WAS REAL
EMBARRASSED. BUT LET ME TELL YOU
DAD, SHE WAS REAL EMBARRASSED.
BUT LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE MOVIE.
BUT LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE
MOVIE. >> START FROM THE BEGINNING
ABOUT THE MOVIE. >> START FROM
THE BEGINNING AND TALK SLOW.
START FROM THE BEGINNING
AND TALK SLOW. >> OKAY, SEE THERE...
AND TALK SLOW. >> OKAY, SEE
THERE... >> VANESSA, VANESSA, OUT.
OKAY, SEE THERE... >> VANESSA,
VANESSA, OUT. >> I CAN'T EVEN HEAR
VANESSA, VANESSA, OUT. >> I
CAN'T EVEN HEAR ABOUT THE MOVIE.
I CAN'T EVEN HEAR ABOUT THE
MOVIE. >> VANESSA, GO ON UP TO YOUR
ABOUT THE MOVIE. >> VANESSA, GO ON UP
TO YOUR ROOM AND PLAY WITH YOUR SISTER
VANESSA, GO ON UP TO YOUR ROOM AND PLAY
WITH YOUR SISTER AND STAY AWAY FROM HER.
THERE IS NO FUN IN MY LIFE. >>
AS YOU GET OLDER, IT GETS WORSE.
AS YOU GET OLDER, IT GETS
WORSE. TELL ME ABOUT THE PLOT
IT GETS WORSE. TELL ME
ABOUT THE PLOT OF THIS EPIC.
TELL ME ABOUT THE PLOT OF THIS
EPIC. >> OKAY, SEE, THERE WAS THIS
OF THIS EPIC. >> OKAY, SEE, THERE WAS
THIS GUY, MAX SAVAGE, AND THIS GANG
OKAY, SEE, THERE WAS THIS GUY, MAX SAVAGE,
AND THIS GANG TOOK HIS CAR AND HE HAD
GUY, MAX SAVAGE, AND THIS GANG
TOOK HIS CAR AND HE HAD TO GET IT BACK.
TOOK HIS CAR AND HE HAD TO
GET IT BACK. >> THAT'S THE PLOT?
TO GET IT BACK. >> THAT'S THE
PLOT? >> YEAH, BUT YOU HARDLY
THAT'S THE PLOT? >> YEAH,
BUT YOU HARDLY NOTICE IT.
YEAH, BUT YOU HARDLY NOTICE
IT. WHAT'S REALLY GREAT IS THESE
NOTICE IT. WHAT'S REALLY GREAT IS
THESE GUYS HAVE THESE MACHINE GUNS
WHAT'S REALLY GREAT IS THESE GUYS HAVE THESE
MACHINE GUNS THAT SHOOT FIREBALLS AND THIS
GUYS HAVE THESE MACHINE GUNS THAT SHOOT
FIREBALLS AND THIS ONE GUY HAD THIS BIG BAZOOKA
THAT SHOOT FIREBALLS AND THIS ONE GUY HAD
THIS BIG BAZOOKA THAT BLEW UP WHOLE CITIES.
ONE GUY HAD THIS BIG BAZOOKA THAT BLEW UP
WHOLE CITIES. >> OOH BOY, HAVE I GOT TO SEE
THAT BLEW UP WHOLE CITIES. >> OOH
BOY, HAVE I GOT TO SEE THIS MOVIE.
OOH BOY, HAVE I GOT TO
SEE THIS MOVIE. >> VANESSA!
THIS MOVIE. >> VANESSA!
I'M STILL DOWNSTAIRS,
VANESSA! >> I'M STILL
DOWNSTAIRS, AREN'T I?
I'M STILL DOWNSTAIRS,
AREN'T I? >> NOW, I CAN TAKE
AREN'T I? >> NOW, I CAN TAKE
THE STABBINGS AND THE BEATINGS
NOW, I CAN TAKE THE STABBINGS AND THE
BEATINGS AND THOSE PEOPLE THAT EXPLODE
THE STABBINGS AND THE BEATINGS AND
THOSE PEOPLE THAT EXPLODE EVERY 6 SECONDS.
AND THOSE PEOPLE THAT EXPLODE
EVERY 6 SECONDS. NO PROBLEM.
EVERY 6 SECONDS. NO PROBLEM.
BUT WHAT GOT ME WAS WHEN THIS
NO PROBLEM. BUT WHAT GOT ME WAS
WHEN THIS MOVIE LET OUT, THESE KIDS LEFT
BUT WHAT GOT ME WAS WHEN THIS MOVIE LET
OUT, THESE KIDS LEFT THE THEATER LAUGHING.
MOVIE LET OUT, THESE KIDS LEFT
THE THEATER LAUGHING. >> IT WAS FUN.
THE THEATER LAUGHING. >> IT WAS
FUN. >> SEE, WE'VE GOT ONE IN OUR
IT WAS FUN. >> SEE, WE'VE GOT
ONE IN OUR OWN HOUSE AND WE FEED IT.
SEE, WE'VE GOT ONE IN OUR OWN HOUSE AND
WE FEED IT. >> YOU KNOW, THE REASON WHY YOU
OWN HOUSE AND WE FEED IT. >> YOU KNOW, THE
REASON WHY YOU THINK IT'S FUN IS BECAUSE
YOU KNOW, THE REASON WHY YOU THINK IT'S
FUN IS BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER.
THINK IT'S FUN IS BECAUSE YOU DON'T
KNOW ANY BETTER. NOW NEXT WEEK AT THE OLD
YOU DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER. NOW NEXT
WEEK AT THE OLD CLASSIC THEATER IS A MOVIE
NOW NEXT WEEK AT THE OLD CLASSIC THEATER
IS A MOVIE PLAYING THAT I USED TO LOVE
CLASSIC THEATER IS A MOVIE PLAYING
THAT I USED TO LOVE WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE.
PLAYING THAT I USED TO LOVE WHEN I
WAS YOUR AGE. I'M TAKING YOU AND YOU ARE
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE. I'M TAKING
YOU AND YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE IT.
I'M TAKING YOU AND YOU ARE GOING
TO LOVE IT. >> [LAUGHING] SURE DAD.
GOING TO LOVE IT. >> [LAUGHING]
SURE DAD. >> CLIFF, I THINK THAT'S
[LAUGHING] SURE DAD. >>
CLIFF, I THINK THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.
CLIFF, I THINK THAT'S
A GREAT IDEA. >> OH YEAH.
A GREAT IDEA. >> OH YEAH.
YES, TAKE THAT BOY
OH YEAH. >> YES, TAKE THAT
BOY TO THE MOVIES AND EDUCATE HIM.
YES, TAKE THAT BOY TO THE MOVIES
AND EDUCATE HIM. >> YES, INDEED.
TO THE MOVIES AND EDUCATE HIM.
YES, INDEED. >> WHAT'S PLAYING?
YES, INDEED. >>
WHAT'S PLAYING? >> HMM?
WHAT'S PLAYING? >>
HMM? >> SOMETHING LIKE
HMM? >> SOMETHING LIKE
HUMPHREY BOGART IN "CASABLANCA"?
SOMETHING LIKE HUMPHREY
BOGART IN "CASABLANCA"? >> NO, NO, NO.
HUMPHREY BOGART IN "CASABLANCA"? >>
NO, NO, NO. >> ERROL FLYNN IN "DON JUAN"?
NO, NO, NO. >> ERROL
FLYNN IN "DON JUAN"? >> NO, NO.
ERROL FLYNN IN "DON JUAN"?
NO, NO. >> LAWRENCE OLIVIER
NO, NO. >> LAWRENCE
OLIVIER IN "WUTHERING HEIGHTS."
LAWRENCE OLIVIER IN "WUTHERING
HEIGHTS." >> NO, WE GOT "COLT CURBY
IN "WUTHERING HEIGHTS." >> NO, WE GOT
"COLT CURBY AND SHOOTOUT IN LAREDO."
NO, WE GOT "COLT CURBY AND SHOOTOUT
IN LAREDO." >> YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN.
AND SHOOTOUT IN LAREDO." >> YOU
ARE ON YOUR OWN. >> NO, NO, LISTEN.
YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN. >> NO,
NO, LISTEN. HE HAD A HORSE, COCO
NO, NO, LISTEN. HE HAD A
HORSE, COCO THE WONDER HORSE.
HE HAD A HORSE, COCO THE WONDER
HORSE. THIS WAS THE SMARTEST HORSE
THE WONDER HORSE. THIS WAS THE
SMARTEST HORSE IN THE WORLD, USED TO ROLL
THIS WAS THE SMARTEST HORSE IN THE
WORLD, USED TO ROLL HIS OWN CIGARETTES.
IN THE WORLD, USED TO ROLL
HIS OWN CIGARETTES. [MUSIC]
BACK FROM LAREDO.
HOW WAS IT? >> OKAY.
HOW WAS IT? >> OKAY.
IT WAS GREAT... OKAY?
OKAY. >> IT WAS
GREAT... OKAY? IT WAS GREAT.
IT WAS GREAT... OKAY? IT WAS
GREAT. >> IT WASN'T REALISTIC.
IT WAS GREAT. >> IT WASN'T
REALISTIC. >> WASN'T REALISTIC.
IT WASN'T REALISTIC. >> WASN'T
REALISTIC. MR. "MY GIRLFRIEND IS IN THE
WASN'T REALISTIC. MR. "MY GIRLFRIEND
IS IN THE BUILDING, THROW AN H-BOMB IN,
MR. "MY GIRLFRIEND IS IN THE BUILDING, THROW
AN H-BOMB IN, BLOW UP EVERYTHING TO GET HER,
BUILDING, THROW AN H-BOMB IN, BLOW UP EVERYTHING
TO GET HER, SHE COMES OUT WITH HER HAIR
BLOW UP EVERYTHING TO GET HER, SHE COMES
OUT WITH HER HAIR UNSINGED" SAYS MY MOVIE
SHE COMES OUT WITH HER HAIR UNSINGED"
SAYS MY MOVIE WAS NOT REALISTIC?
UNSINGED" SAYS MY MOVIE WAS
NOT REALISTIC? >> HEY, HIS GUY SHOT
WAS NOT REALISTIC? >> HEY, HIS
GUY SHOT HIS 6-SHOOTER 39 TIMES
HEY, HIS GUY SHOT HIS 6-SHOOTER
39 TIMES WITHOUT RELOADING.
HIS 6-SHOOTER 39 TIMES WITHOUT
RELOADING. HIS GUY FOUGHT 12 MEN
WITHOUT RELOADING. HIS GUY
FOUGHT 12 MEN IN A SALOON AND HIS HAT
HIS GUY FOUGHT 12 MEN IN A
SALOON AND HIS HAT NEVER CAME OFF.
IN A SALOON AND HIS HAT NEVER CAME
OFF. HIS GUY RODE HIS HORSE COCO
NEVER CAME OFF. HIS GUY RODE HIS
HORSE COCO 600 MILES AND PASSED
HIS GUY RODE HIS HORSE COCO 600
MILES AND PASSED THE SAME ROCK 14 TIMES.
WELL, TEX? >> YOU DON'T
GO TO A MOVIE TO COUNT ROCKS.
YOU DON'T GO TO A MOVIE TO
COUNT ROCKS. YOU GO TO A MOVIE TO SEE
TO COUNT ROCKS. YOU GO TO A MOVIE
TO SEE COLT CURBY WHO IS A REAL HERO,
YOU GO TO A MOVIE TO SEE COLT CURBY
WHO IS A REAL HERO, HONEST, DECENT.
COLT CURBY WHO IS A REAL HERO, HONEST,
DECENT. >> I THOUGHT HE WAS A WIMP.
HONEST, DECENT. >> I THOUGHT
HE WAS A WIMP. [LAUGHING]
I THOUGHT HE WAS A WIMP.
[LAUGHING] >> COLT CURBY TAMED THE WEST
[LAUGHING] >> COLT CURBY TAMED
THE WEST WITH A 6-GUN AND A SMILE
COLT CURBY TAMED THE WEST WITH A
6-GUN AND A SMILE AND NOT A BLOWTORCH.
WITH A 6-GUN AND A SMILE AND NOT A
BLOWTORCH. >> HEY, MAX SAVAGE ONLY KILLED
AND NOT A BLOWTORCH. >> HEY, MAX SAVAGE
ONLY KILLED PEOPLE WHO NEEDED KILLING
HEY, MAX SAVAGE ONLY KILLED PEOPLE
WHO NEEDED KILLING OR TOUCHED HIS CAR.
PEOPLE WHO NEEDED KILLING OR
TOUCHED HIS CAR. >> YOU TOUCH COCO
OR TOUCHED HIS CAR. >> YOU
TOUCH COCO THE WONDER HORSE.
YOU TOUCH COCO THE WONDER
HORSE. >> CHILDREN, PLEASE.
THE WONDER HORSE. >> CHILDREN,
PLEASE. >> NO, HE STARTED IT.
CHILDREN, PLEASE. >> NO, HE
STARTED IT. >> ALRIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH.
NO, HE STARTED IT. >> ALRIGHT, THAT'S
ENOUGH. JUST GO WASH UP FOR DINNER
ALRIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH. JUST
GO WASH UP FOR DINNER WITH SOAP.
JUST GO WASH UP FOR DINNER
WITH SOAP. >> YES, MA'AM.
WITH SOAP. >> YES, MA'AM.
COLT CURBY WILL KICK
YES, MA'AM. >> COLT CURBY
WILL KICK MAX SAVAGE'S BUTT.
COLT CURBY WILL KICK
MAX SAVAGE'S BUTT. >> HA!
MAX SAVAGE'S BUTT.
HA! >> ARE TO!
HA! >> ARE TO! >> AM NOT!
ARE TO! >> AM NOT! >> ARE TO!
AM NOT! >> ARE TO! >> AM NOT!
ARE TO! >> AM NOT! >>
HOLD ON THERE, BUCKAROOS!
AM NOT! >> HOLD ON THERE,
BUCKAROOS! NOW, WHAT SEEMS TO BE
HOLD ON THERE, BUCKAROOS!
NOW, WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE RUCKUS?
NOW, WHAT SEEMS TO
BE THE RUCKUS? >> WHAT?
THE RUCKUS? >> WHAT?
IN AMERICAN, THAT IS,
WHAT? >> IN AMERICAN,
THAT IS, WHAT'S THE TROUBLE?
IN AMERICAN, THAT IS, WHAT'S THE
TROUBLE? >> RUDY CALLED ME A BABY
WHAT'S THE TROUBLE? >> RUDY CALLED
ME A BABY BECAUSE OF "DEATH TRACK 2000."
RUDY CALLED ME A BABY BECAUSE
OF "DEATH TRACK 2000." >> DID NOT!
BECAUSE OF "DEATH TRACK
2000." >> DID NOT! >> DID SO!
DID NOT! >>
DID SO! >> STOP IT.
DID SO! >>
STOP IT. >> DID NOT!
STOP IT. >> DID
NOT! >> STOP IT.
DID NOT! >>
STOP IT. >> DID SO!
STOP IT. >> DID SO! >> STOP!
DID SO! >> STOP! >> DID NOT.
STOP! >> DID NOT.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
DID NOT. >> WHAT DID YOU SAY?
I CALLED HER A CHICKEN BABY.
WHAT DID YOU SAY? >> I CALLED
HER A CHICKEN BABY. >> AM NOT.
I CALLED HER A CHICKEN
BABY. >> AM NOT. >> ARE TO.
AM NOT. >> ARE TO. >> AM NOT.
ARE TO. >> AM NOT. >> ARE...
AM NOT. >> ARE... >>
STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP IT!
ARE... >> STOP, STOP,
STOP, STOP IT! NOW HERE, RUDY,
STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP IT! NOW
HERE, RUDY, YOU GO AND YOU HELP MOMMY
NOW HERE, RUDY, YOU GO AND YOU
HELP MOMMY IN THE KITCHEN PLEASE.
YOU GO AND YOU HELP MOMMY IN THE
KITCHEN PLEASE. VANESSA... GO HELP MOM
IN THE KITCHEN PLEASE.
VANESSA... GO HELP MOM IN THE KITCHEN.
VANESSA... GO HELP MOM
IN THE KITCHEN. >> NOW?
IN THE KITCHEN. >> NOW?
DO I HAVE TO SAY NOW?
NOW? >> DO I HAVE
TO SAY NOW? >> UH-HUH.
[MUSIC]
CLIFF? >> MMM. >> I
LIKED TONIGHT'S SUPPER.
MMM. >> I LIKED TONIGHT'S
SUPPER. HOW ABOUT YOU?
I LIKED TONIGHT'S SUPPER.
HOW ABOUT YOU? >> YEAH.
HOW ABOUT YOU? >> YEAH.
SALAD, A LITTLE SALMON.
YEAH. >> SALAD, A
LITTLE SALMON. >> YEAH.
SALAD, A LITTLE SALMON. >>
YEAH. >> WE OUGHT TO EAT LIGHT
YEAH. >> WE OUGHT
TO EAT LIGHT MORE OFTEN.
WE OUGHT TO EAT LIGHT
MORE OFTEN. >> YEAH, I'M STARVING.
MORE OFTEN. >> YEAH,
I'M STARVING. >> ME TOO.
YEAH, I'M STARVING. >> ME TOO.
I SAW SOME LEFTOVER CHICKEN.
ME TOO. >> I SAW SOME
LEFTOVER CHICKEN. >> UH-UH.
I SAW SOME LEFTOVER CHICKEN.
UH-UH. CHEESE AND CRACKERS.
UH-UH. CHEESE AND CRACKERS.
CHEESE AND CRACKERS,
CHEESE AND CRACKERS. >>
CHEESE AND CRACKERS, COMING UP!
CHEESE AND CRACKERS, COMING
UP! >> SWISS CHEESE AND CRACKERS.
COMING UP! >> SWISS CHEESE
AND CRACKERS. >> SWISS IS TOO DRY.
SWISS CHEESE AND CRACKERS. >>
SWISS IS TOO DRY. >> UH, WE GOT CHEDDAR.
SWISS IS TOO DRY. >> UH,
WE GOT CHEDDAR. >> OKAY.
UH, WE GOT CHEDDAR. >> OKAY.
CHEDDAR CHEESE AND CRACKERS.
OKAY. >> CHEDDAR CHEESE AND
CRACKERS. >> WHAT KIND OF CRACKERS?
CHEDDAR CHEESE AND CRACKERS. >> WHAT
KIND OF CRACKERS? >> UH, WE GOT SALTINES,
WHAT KIND OF CRACKERS? >> UH, WE
GOT SALTINES, SALTINES AND CHEDDAR CHEESE.
UH, WE GOT SALTINES, SALTINES
AND CHEDDAR CHEESE. >> OKAY.
SALTINES AND CHEDDAR
CHEESE. >> OKAY. >> GOT IT.
OKAY. >> GOT IT.
MAKE IT BREAD.
BREAD AND CHEDDAR
CHEESE, RIGHT? >> RIGHT.
LIGHTLY TOASTED.
YOU WANT BREAD, CHEDDAR CHEESE,
LIGHTLY TOASTED. >> THAT'S RIGHT.
CHEDDAR CHEESE, LIGHTLY
TOASTED. >> THAT'S RIGHT. >> OKAY.
CLIFF, ON SECOND THOUGHT, WHY
DON'T WE JUST GO WITH THE CHICKEN?
WHY DON'T WE JUST GO WITH THE
CHICKEN? >> WHY DON'T I JUST BRING UP
WITH THE CHICKEN? >> WHY DON'T I
JUST BRING UP THE REFRIGERATOR?
WHY DON'T I JUST BRING UP THE
REFRIGERATOR? >> NOW, YOU'RE TALKING.
HI. IT'S 11:00. I'M ON TIME.
IT'S 11:00. I'M ON TIME. >> HMM.
I'M ON TIME. >> HMM.
OUT WITH FREDDY AGAIN?
HMM. OUT WITH FREDDY
AGAIN? >> HE'S MY MAN.
OUT WITH FREDDY AGAIN? >> HE'S MY
MAN. >> DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME?
HE'S MY MAN. >> DID YOU HAVE A
GOOD TIME? WELL, I KNOW THAT SMILE.
DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME? WELL, I
KNOW THAT SMILE. IT'S THE KIND OF SMILE
WELL, I KNOW THAT SMILE. IT'S THE
KIND OF SMILE THAT MAKES FATHERS OLD.
IT'S THE KIND OF SMILE THAT MAKES
FATHERS OLD. >> GOOD NIGHT, DADDY.
THAT MAKES FATHERS OLD. >> GOOD
NIGHT, DADDY. >> GOODNIGHT, DEAR.
GOOD NIGHT, DADDY. >>
GOODNIGHT, DEAR. [DISHES CLANKING]
VANESSA? >> HI DAD. >> HI.
HI DAD. >> HI.
LOOKS ALMOST DONE.
HI. LOOKS ALMOST
DONE. SMELLS GOOD.
LOOKS ALMOST DONE.
SMELLS GOOD. WHAT IS IT?
SMELLS GOOD. WHAT
IS IT? >> COFFEE.
WHAT IS IT? >>
COFFEE. >> COFFEE.
COFFEE. >> COFFEE. >>
WOULD YOU CARE TO JOIN ME?
COFFEE. >> WOULD YOU CARE
TO JOIN ME? >> OH YEAH, THANK YOU.
WOULD YOU CARE TO JOIN ME? >> OH
YEAH, THANK YOU. UM, VANESSA, CAN I ASK YOU
OH YEAH, THANK YOU. UM,
VANESSA, CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?
UM, VANESSA, CAN I ASK
YOU A QUESTION? >> OH, SURE.
A QUESTION? >> OH, SURE. >>
DO YOU HAVE A NIGHTTIME JOB
OH, SURE. >> DO YOU HAVE A
NIGHTTIME JOB THAT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT?
DO YOU HAVE A NIGHTTIME JOB THAT I
DON'T KNOW ABOUT? LIKE DRIVING A TRUCK
THAT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT? LIKE
DRIVING A TRUCK OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
LIKE DRIVING A TRUCK OR SOMETHING
LIKE THAT? WHY ARE YOU DRINKING COFFEE?
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT? WHY ARE YOU
DRINKING COFFEE? >> I'M AFRAID TO GO BACK
WHY ARE YOU DRINKING COFFEE?
I'M AFRAID TO GO BACK TO SLEEP.
I'M AFRAID TO GO BACK TO
SLEEP. >> I HAD A BAD DREAM.
TO SLEEP. >> I HAD A BAD
DREAM. >> HAD A BAD DREAM.
I HAD A BAD DREAM. >> HAD A
BAD DREAM. OH, THAT'S ENOUGH.
HAD A BAD DREAM. OH,
THAT'S ENOUGH. THANK YOU, DEAR.
OH, THAT'S ENOUGH. THANK YOU,
DEAR. >> THIS COFFEE DOES WORK,
THANK YOU, DEAR. >> THIS
COFFEE DOES WORK, DOESN'T IT?
THIS COFFEE DOES WORK,
DOESN'T IT? OH, YES IT DOES.
DOESN'T IT? OH, YES IT DOES.
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DREAM.
OH, YES IT DOES. TELL ME ABOUT YOUR
DREAM. >> SEE, THERE WAS THIS REAL MEAN
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR DREAM. >> SEE, THERE WAS
THIS REAL MEAN GANG OF KIDNAPPERS AND THEY
SEE, THERE WAS THIS REAL MEAN GANG OF KIDNAPPERS
AND THEY TOOK MAX SAVAGE'S CAR, AND HE
GANG OF KIDNAPPERS AND THEY TOOK MAX SAVAGE'S
CAR, AND HE HAD THESE GUNS THAT SHOT FIRE...
TOOK MAX SAVAGE'S CAR, AND HE HAD THESE GUNS
THAT SHOT FIRE... >> WAIT A MINUTE, SEE?
HAD THESE GUNS THAT SHOT FIRE... >>
WAIT A MINUTE, SEE? YOU'RE SCARED BECAUSE
WAIT A MINUTE, SEE? YOU'RE SCARED
BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU HEARD THEO SAY
YOU'RE SCARED BECAUSE OF WHAT
YOU HEARD THEO SAY 2 DAYS AGO.
OF WHAT YOU HEARD THEO SAY 2 DAYS
AGO. NOW, IMAGINE IF YOU HAD GONE
2 DAYS AGO. NOW, IMAGINE IF
YOU HAD GONE TO THAT MOVIE.
NOW, IMAGINE IF YOU HAD GONE
TO THAT MOVIE. >> DAD, I DID.
TO THAT MOVIE. >> DAD, I DID.
HOW'D YOU GET A TICKET?
DAD, I DID. >> HOW'D YOU
GET A TICKET? >> IT'S EASY.
HOW'D YOU GET A TICKET? >> IT'S
EASY. THERE'S THIS HIGH SCHOOL GUY
IT'S EASY. THERE'S THIS HIGH SCHOOL
GUY WHO STANDS OUTSIDE THE THEATER.
THERE'S THIS HIGH SCHOOL GUY WHO STANDS
OUTSIDE THE THEATER. HE CAN GROW A MOUSTACHE.
WHO STANDS OUTSIDE THE THEATER. HE CAN
GROW A MOUSTACHE. WE CALL HIM MOVIE DAVE
HE CAN GROW A MOUSTACHE. WE
CALL HIM MOVIE DAVE AND FOR 50 CENTS,
WE CALL HIM MOVIE DAVE AND FOR
50 CENTS, HE'LL TAKE A LITTLE KID IN.
AND FOR 50 CENTS, HE'LL TAKE A
LITTLE KID IN. HE IS CLEANING UP.
HE'LL TAKE A LITTLE KID IN. HE IS
CLEANING UP. >> WAS IT WORTH IT?
HE IS CLEANING UP. >> WAS IT
WORTH IT? >> IT WAS HORRIBLE.
WAS IT WORTH IT? >> IT WAS
HORRIBLE. FIRST, I COVERED MY EYES
IT WAS HORRIBLE. FIRST, I COVERED
MY EYES AND THEN I HID UNDER MY SEAT.
FIRST, I COVERED MY EYES AND THEN I HID
UNDER MY SEAT. AND THEN I WENT OUT INTO
AND THEN I HID UNDER MY SEAT. AND THEN I
WENT OUT INTO THE LOBBY AND WATCHED THE GUY
AND THEN I WENT OUT INTO THE LOBBY
AND WATCHED THE GUY TURN HOT DOGS.
THE LOBBY AND WATCHED THE GUY TURN
HOT DOGS. >> WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LEAVE?
TURN HOT DOGS. >> WHY DIDN'T
YOU JUST LEAVE? >> LEAVE?
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LEAVE? >>
LEAVE? >> OKAY, WHAT WE HAVE TO DO IS
LEAVE? >> OKAY, WHAT WE
HAVE TO DO IS GET YOU IN THE BED.
OKAY, WHAT WE HAVE TO DO IS GET YOU
IN THE BED. TOMORROW, YOU AND I ARE GOING
GET YOU IN THE BED. TOMORROW, YOU
AND I ARE GOING TO DISCUSS A TREMENDOUS
TOMORROW, YOU AND I ARE GOING TO
DISCUSS A TREMENDOUS GROUNDING.
TO DISCUSS A TREMENDOUS
GROUNDING. LET'S GO.
GROUNDING. LET'S GO.
THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE
LET'S GO. THERE'S SUPPOSED
TO BE A CHILD BEHIND ME.
THERE'S SUPPOSED TO BE A CHILD BEHIND
ME. LOOK DAD, I GO BACK TO MY ROOM
A CHILD BEHIND ME. LOOK DAD, I GO
BACK TO MY ROOM AND I CLOSE MY EYES
LOOK DAD, I GO BACK TO MY ROOM AND I
CLOSE MY EYES AND THE KIDNAPPERS SCARE ME,
AND I CLOSE MY EYES AND THE KIDNAPPERS
SCARE ME, SO I'M RIGHT BACK HERE
AND THE KIDNAPPERS SCARE ME, SO
I'M RIGHT BACK HERE IN THE KITCHEN.
SO I'M RIGHT BACK HERE IN THE
KITCHEN. SO I CAN'T I JUST STAY HERE.
IN THE KITCHEN. SO I CAN'T I JUST STAY
HERE. >> WOULD IT BE BETTER IF YOU
SO I CAN'T I JUST STAY HERE. >> WOULD IT
BE BETTER IF YOU SLEPT WITH US TONIGHT?
WOULD IT BE BETTER IF YOU SLEPT
WITH US TONIGHT? >> OH, THANKS A LOT, DAD.
SLEPT WITH US TONIGHT? >> OH, THANKS
A LOT, DAD. I WOULDN'T HAVE TO GO IN MY
OH, THANKS A LOT, DAD. I WOULDN'T
HAVE TO GO IN MY ROOM AND I WOULDN'T HAVE
I WOULDN'T HAVE TO GO IN MY ROOM AND
I WOULDN'T HAVE TO DRINK THAT COFFEE.
ROOM AND I WOULDN'T HAVE TO DRINK
THAT COFFEE. >> WE HAD SOMETHING LIKE THIS
TO DRINK THAT COFFEE. >> WE HAD
SOMETHING LIKE THIS IN MED SCHOOL.
WE HAD SOMETHING LIKE THIS IN MED
SCHOOL. TAKE 1 SIP AND YOU WERE AWAKE
IN MED SCHOOL. TAKE 1 SIP AND YOU
WERE AWAKE FOR 6 HOURS; 2 SIPS, YOU WERE
TAKE 1 SIP AND YOU WERE AWAKE FOR 6 HOURS;
2 SIPS, YOU WERE AWAKE FOR 72 HOURS; DRINK A
FOR 6 HOURS; 2 SIPS, YOU WERE AWAKE FOR 72
HOURS; DRINK A CUP, YOU NEVER BLINK IN LIFE.
[MUSIC]
OH!
UH!
CLAIR, MIDDLE, GO IN THE
MIDDLE. NO, IN THE MIDDLE.
GO IN THE MIDDLE. NO, IN
THE MIDDLE. >> BATHROOM.
TWO NIGHTS OF THIS IS
ENOUGH. CLAIR, I'M GOING DOWN
IS ENOUGH. CLAIR, I'M GOING
DOWN TO SLEEP ON THE SOFA.
CLAIR, I'M GOING DOWN TO
SLEEP ON THE SOFA. [SNORING]
TO SLEEP ON THE SOFA.
[SNORING] SHUT UP.
[DOOR SLAMMING] >> YOU MEN ARE
DIRT. >> UH-OH, FREDDY MESSED UP.
YOU MEN ARE DIRT. >> UH-OH, FREDDY
MESSED UP. >> DADDY, HE TAKES ME TO THIS
UH-OH, FREDDY MESSED UP. >> DADDY,
HE TAKES ME TO THIS RESTAURANT, RIGHT?
DADDY, HE TAKES ME TO THIS
RESTAURANT, RIGHT? AND THE WHOLE TIME,
RESTAURANT, RIGHT? AND THE WHOLE
TIME, HE'S LOOKING AT THE WAITRESS.
AND THE WHOLE TIME, HE'S LOOKING AT
THE WAITRESS. >> OH, FREDDY, FREDDY.
HE'S LOOKING AT THE WAITRESS. >> OH, FREDDY,
FREDDY. >> SHE'S TELLING US THE CATCH
OH, FREDDY, FREDDY. >> SHE'S TELLING
US THE CATCH OF THE DAY, AND HE'S LOOKING
SHE'S TELLING US THE CATCH OF
THE DAY, AND HE'S LOOKING AT HER LEGS.
OF THE DAY, AND HE'S LOOKING
AT HER LEGS. >> NO FREDDY.
AT HER LEGS. >> NO
FREDDY. >> SO I GOT MAD.
NO FREDDY. >> SO I
GOT MAD. I SAID, "FREDDY,
SO I GOT MAD. I SAID, "FREDDY,
THOSE AREN'T ON THE MENU."
I SAID, "FREDDY, THOSE AREN'T
ON THE MENU." [LAUGHING]
THOSE AREN'T ON THE MENU."
[LAUGHING] >> DADDY, I WAS GREAT.
[LAUGHING] >> DADDY, I WAS
GREAT. I DIDN'T SAY, "TAKE ME HOME."
DADDY, I WAS GREAT. I DIDN'T SAY,
"TAKE ME HOME." I SAID, "I'LL HAVE A CAVIAR
I DIDN'T SAY, "TAKE ME HOME." I SAID, "I'LL
HAVE A CAVIAR APPETIZER PLEASE," 12 BUCKS.
I SAID, "I'LL HAVE A CAVIAR APPETIZER
PLEASE," 12 BUCKS. I SAID, "I'LL HAVE THE MAIN
APPETIZER PLEASE," 12 BUCKS. I SAID,
"I'LL HAVE THE MAIN LOBSTER," 24.50.
I SAID, "I'LL HAVE THE MAIN
LOBSTER," 24.50. >> HA, HA, HA.
LOBSTER," 24.50. >> HA, HA,
HA. "AND THE CHERRIES JUBILEE,"
HA, HA, HA. "AND THE
CHERRIES JUBILEE," 8 DOLLARS.
"AND THE CHERRIES JUBILEE,"
8 DOLLARS. AND THEN I SAID,
8 DOLLARS. AND THEN I
SAID, "TAKE ME HOME."
AND THEN I SAID, "TAKE ME
HOME." >> WELL DEAR, IN THE WORDS
"TAKE ME HOME." >> WELL DEAR,
IN THE WORDS OF COLT CURBY,
WELL DEAR, IN THE WORDS OF
COLT CURBY, "I LIKE YOUR STYLE."
OF COLT CURBY, "I LIKE YOUR
STYLE." >> THANKS DADDY.
"I LIKE YOUR STYLE." >> THANKS
DADDY. >> GOODNIGHT, DEAR.
MOMMY, WHAT HAPPENED? >> OH
HONEY, YOU FELL. LISTEN BABY, NOW WE NEED
OH HONEY, YOU FELL. LISTEN BABY, NOW
WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THESE SLEEPING
LISTEN BABY, NOW WE NEED TO TALK
ABOUT THESE SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS.
TO TALK ABOUT THESE SLEEPING
ARRANGEMENTS. >> YOU KICKING ME OUT?
ARRANGEMENTS. >> YOU KICKING ME
OUT? >> HONEY, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
YOU KICKING ME OUT? >> HONEY, I KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH BECAUSE I'VE BEEN
HONEY, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING
THROUGH BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THERE MYSELF.
GOING THROUGH BECAUSE I'VE BEEN
THERE MYSELF. WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I USED
THERE MYSELF. WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,
I USED TO THINK I SAW A WITCH IN A TREE
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I USED TO THINK I
SAW A WITCH IN A TREE OUTSIDE MY WINDOW.
TO THINK I SAW A WITCH IN A TREE
OUTSIDE MY WINDOW. >> YOU DID?
OUTSIDE MY WINDOW.
YOU DID? >> MM-HMM.
YOU DID? >> MM-HMM.
SHE HAD SLIMY GREEN SKIN,
MM-HMM. SHE HAD SLIMY GREEN
SKIN, RAISIN TEETH ALL BUNCHED UP
SHE HAD SLIMY GREEN SKIN, RAISIN TEETH ALL
BUNCHED UP TOGETHER, STRINGY WHITE HAIR
RAISIN TEETH ALL BUNCHED UP TOGETHER,
STRINGY WHITE HAIR AND SHE USED TO CALL,
TOGETHER, STRINGY WHITE HAIR
AND SHE USED TO CALL, "CLAIR! CLAIR!"
AND SHE USED TO CALL,
"CLAIR! CLAIR!" >> OH, MOM.
"CLAIR! CLAIR!" >> OH, MOM.
AND AS SOON AS I SAW HER,
OH, MOM. >> AND AS SOON AS I
SAW HER, I JUMPED UP AND I RAN TO MY
AND AS SOON AS I SAW HER, I JUMPED
UP AND I RAN TO MY PARENTS' ROOM.
I JUMPED UP AND I RAN TO MY PARENTS'
ROOM. >> YOU DID THE RIGHT THING.
PARENTS' ROOM. >> YOU DID THE RIGHT
THING. >> AND AFTER I STAYED THERE FOR
YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. >> AND AFTER I
STAYED THERE FOR A WHILE, MY MOTHER GAVE ME
AND AFTER I STAYED THERE FOR A WHILE, MY
MOTHER GAVE ME SOMETHING THAT HELPED ME
A WHILE, MY MOTHER GAVE ME SOMETHING
THAT HELPED ME TO GO BACK TO MY ROOM.
SOMETHING THAT HELPED ME TO GO
BACK TO MY ROOM. >> WHAT'D SHE GIVE YOU?
TO GO BACK TO MY ROOM. >>
WHAT'D SHE GIVE YOU? >> THIS.
WHAT'D SHE GIVE YOU? >>
THIS. >> SHE GAVE YOU SOME JUNK
THIS. >> SHE GAVE
YOU SOME JUNK JEWELRY.
SHE GAVE YOU SOME JUNK
JEWELRY. >> THIS MEDAL HAS BEEN
JEWELRY. >> THIS MEDAL HAS
BEEN IN OUR FAMILY SINCE 1859.
THIS MEDAL HAS BEEN IN
OUR FAMILY SINCE 1859. >> WOW.
IN OUR FAMILY SINCE 1859. >> WOW.
AND WHEN MY MOTHER GAVE ME
WOW. >> AND WHEN MY MOTHER
GAVE ME THIS MEDAL, I KNEW I WOULD
AND WHEN MY MOTHER GAVE ME THIS MEDAL,
I KNEW I WOULD NEVER AGAIN BE BOTHERED
THIS MEDAL, I KNEW I WOULD NEVER
AGAIN BE BOTHERED BY THAT WITCH.
NEVER AGAIN BE BOTHERED BY THAT
WITCH. MAY THIS MEDAL MAKE YOU BRAVE.
I FEEL BETTER ALREADY. >> AND NOW
IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM.
AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GO BACK
TO YOUR ROOM. >> I KNEW IT WAS COMING.
TO GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM. >> I KNEW IT
WAS COMING. IT'S GOING TO BE HARD, MOM,
I KNEW IT WAS COMING. IT'S GOING
TO BE HARD, MOM, BUT I'M GOING TO GO
IT'S GOING TO BE HARD, MOM,
BUT I'M GOING TO GO BACK IN THERE.
BUT I'M GOING TO GO BACK IN
THERE. I'M GOING TO GO TO SLEEP,
BACK IN THERE. I'M GOING TO GO TO
SLEEP, AND I'M GOING TO SEE THOSE
I'M GOING TO GO TO SLEEP, AND I'M GOING
TO SEE THOSE KIDNAPPERS STARING STRAIGHT
AND I'M GOING TO SEE THOSE
KIDNAPPERS STARING STRAIGHT AT ME.
KIDNAPPERS STARING STRAIGHT AT
ME. BUT NO MATTER HOW SCARED I GET,
AT ME. BUT NO MATTER HOW SCARED
I GET, I'M GOING TO STAY IN MY ROOM.
BUT NO MATTER HOW SCARED I GET, I'M GOING
TO STAY IN MY ROOM. >> OH, I LOVE YOU.
I'M GOING TO STAY IN MY ROOM.
OH, I LOVE YOU. >> MOM?
OH, I LOVE YOU.
MOM? >> HUH?
MOM? >> HUH? >> THOSE
EARRINGS WOULD LOOK
HUH? >> THOSE EARRINGS WOULD
LOOK SO GREAT WITH MY MEDAL.
WE HAVE DEFINITELY GOT A
DAYTIME COUCH. >> LOOK DADDY,
A DAYTIME COUCH. >> LOOK
DADDY, MY BRAVERY MEDAL.
LOOK DADDY, MY BRAVERY
MEDAL. MOMMY GAVE IT TO ME.
MY BRAVERY MEDAL. MOMMY
GAVE IT TO ME. >> OH MY GOODNESS,
MOMMY GAVE IT TO ME. >> OH MY
GOODNESS, WELL CONGRATULATIONS.
OH MY GOODNESS, WELL
CONGRATULATIONS. >> GOODNIGHT, MAMA.
WELL CONGRATULATIONS. >>
GOODNIGHT, MAMA. >> GOODNIGHT, BABY.
GOODNIGHT, MAMA. >>
GOODNIGHT, BABY. >> NIGHT, DADDY.
GOODNIGHT, BABY. >> NIGHT,
DADDY. >> GOODNIGHT, HONEY.
NIGHT, DADDY. >> GOODNIGHT,
HONEY. >> I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING.
GOODNIGHT, HONEY. >> I'LL SEE
YOU IN THE MORNING. >> LET'S HOPE SO.
I'LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING. >> LET'S
HOPE SO. >> THAT'S MY 880 RELAY MEDAL.
LET'S HOPE SO. >> THAT'S MY 880
RELAY MEDAL. I HAD TO RUN FOR 2 YEARS
THAT'S MY 880 RELAY MEDAL. I HAD TO
RUN FOR 2 YEARS TO EARN THAT MEDAL.
I HAD TO RUN FOR 2 YEARS TO EARN
THAT MEDAL. >> WELL, YOU GOTTA GIVE
TO EARN THAT MEDAL. >> WELL, YOU
GOTTA GIVE SOMETHING TO GET SOMETHING.
WELL, YOU GOTTA GIVE SOMETHING TO GET
SOMETHING. >> IN THE WORDS OF COLT CURBY...
SOMETHING TO GET SOMETHING. >> IN
THE WORDS OF COLT CURBY... [MUSIC]
[MUSIC]