The Cosby Show (1984–1992): Season 1, Episode 1 - Pilot - full transcript

[MUSIC]

[MUSIC]

COME ON, IT'S GETTING LATE. YOU SHOULD STOP
DANCING AROUND WITH THAT FOOD AND START

YOU SHOULD STOP DANCING AROUND
WITH THAT FOOD AND START EATING IT.

WITH THAT FOOD AND START EATING
IT. >> MOM, YOU SAID WE COULD HAVE

EATING IT. >> MOM, YOU SAID
WE COULD HAVE THE RADIO ON.

MOM, YOU SAID WE COULD HAVE
THE RADIO ON. >> I SAID YOU COULD LISTEN

THE RADIO ON. >> I SAID
YOU COULD LISTEN TO IT.

I SAID YOU COULD LISTEN TO
IT. >> YOU KNOW, MOM, I THINK WE

TO IT. >> YOU KNOW, MOM, I THINK WE
SHOULD BE ALLOWED SOME MOMENTS

YOU KNOW, MOM, I THINK WE SHOULD
BE ALLOWED SOME MOMENTS OF HAPPINESS.



SHOULD BE ALLOWED SOME MOMENTS OF
HAPPINESS. >> OKAY, YOU WANT TO KEEP

OF HAPPINESS. >> OKAY, YOU WANT TO
KEEP DANCING AROUND, SPILLING FOOD

OKAY, YOU WANT TO KEEP DANCING AROUND,
SPILLING FOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE, ACTING LIKE

DANCING AROUND, SPILLING FOOD ALL OVER
THE PLACE, ACTING LIKE A BUNCH OF FOOLS?

ALL OVER THE PLACE, ACTING LIKE A
BUNCH OF FOOLS? THAT'S FINE WITH ME.

A BUNCH OF FOOLS? THAT'S FINE
WITH ME. >> OH, WHEN SHE SAYS,

THAT'S FINE WITH ME. >> OH, WHEN SHE
SAYS, "FINE WITH ME," WE KNOW IT'S NOT

OH, WHEN SHE SAYS, "FINE WITH
ME," WE KNOW IT'S NOT FINE WITH HER.

"FINE WITH ME," WE KNOW IT'S NOT FINE
WITH HER. >> MOM, I WANTED MY EGGS

FINE WITH HER. >> MOM, I
WANTED MY EGGS SCRAMBLED.

MOM, I WANTED MY EGGS
SCRAMBLED. >> COMING RIGHT UP.

SCRAMBLED. >> COMING RIGHT
UP. >> MOM, SCRAMBLE MY CEREAL.

COMING RIGHT UP. >> MOM, SCRAMBLE
MY CEREAL. >> OH HONEY, I'M ALL SCRAMBLED

MOM, SCRAMBLE MY CEREAL. >> OH
HONEY, I'M ALL SCRAMBLED OUT THIS MORNING.



OH HONEY, I'M ALL SCRAMBLED OUT
THIS MORNING. I DIDN'T GET MUCH SLEEP LAST

OUT THIS MORNING. I DIDN'T
GET MUCH SLEEP LAST NIGHT.

I DIDN'T GET MUCH SLEEP LAST NIGHT.
MOM, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED.

NIGHT. >> MOM, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU
NEED. WELL, WE ACTUALLY ALL COULD USE

MOM, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED. WELL, WE
ACTUALLY ALL COULD USE A NICE SOOTHING DOG.

WELL, WE ACTUALLY ALL COULD USE A
NICE SOOTHING DOG. A DOG FOR ALL OF US,

A NICE SOOTHING DOG. A DOG
FOR ALL OF US, A REAL FAMILY DOG.

A DOG FOR ALL OF US, A REAL FAMILY
DOG. >> WE ALREADY HAVE A FAMILY

A REAL FAMILY DOG. >> WE
ALREADY HAVE A FAMILY DOG... YOU.

WE ALREADY HAVE A FAMILY DOG... YOU.
THEODORE, YOUR SISTER DOESN'T

DOG... YOU. >> THEODORE, YOUR
SISTER DOESN'T CALL YOU NAMES.

THEODORE, YOUR SISTER DOESN'T CALL
YOU NAMES. >> ALL I WANTED WAS AN ANIMAL

CALL YOU NAMES. >> ALL I WANTED WAS AN
ANIMAL WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH THE SAME

ALL I WANTED WAS AN ANIMAL WHOSE NAME STARTS
WITH THE SAME LETTER AS MOST OF THE GRADES ON

WHOSE NAME STARTS WITH THE SAME LETTER AS MOST
OF THE GRADES ON YOUR REPORT CARD, WHICH YOU ARE

LETTER AS MOST OF THE GRADES ON YOUR
REPORT CARD, WHICH YOU ARE GETTING TODAY.

YOUR REPORT CARD, WHICH YOU ARE GETTING
TODAY. >> I'M ASSUMING THAT IT WILL BE

GETTING TODAY. >> I'M ASSUMING THAT IT
WILL BE A MUCH BETTER REPORT CARD THAN

I'M ASSUMING THAT IT WILL BE A MUCH
BETTER REPORT CARD THAN LAST SEMESTER'S?

A MUCH BETTER REPORT CARD THAN LAST
SEMESTER'S? >> OH, I'M ASSUMING THE SAME

LAST SEMESTER'S? >> OH,
I'M ASSUMING THE SAME THING.

OH, I'M ASSUMING THE SAME THING.
BUT YOU KNOW, TEACHERS GRADE YOU

THING. BUT YOU KNOW, TEACHERS
GRADE YOU ON SOME WEIRD THINGS.

BUT YOU KNOW, TEACHERS GRADE YOU ON SOME
WEIRD THINGS. >> LIKE EXAMS AND PAPERS.

ON SOME WEIRD THINGS. >>
LIKE EXAMS AND PAPERS. >> RIGHT.

LIKE EXAMS AND
PAPERS. >> RIGHT. >> HEY.

RIGHT. >> HEY. >> HEY, DAD.

HEY. >> HEY,
DAD. >> HI, DADDY.

HEY, DAD. >> HI,
DADDY. >> HI, DADDY.

HI, DADDY. >> HI, DADDY.
LISTEN, LET'S PUT ON SOME

HI, DADDY. >> LISTEN, LET'S
PUT ON SOME MUSIC AROUND HERE.

LISTEN, LET'S PUT ON SOME
MUSIC AROUND HERE. [MUSIC]

DR. SEIDELMAN, LINE ONE, PLEASE,
DR. SEIDELMAN? >> MR. MCMANUS,

PLEASE, DR. SEIDELMAN? >>
MR. MCMANUS, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

MR. MCMANUS, WHERE ARE
YOU GOING? >> I... I NEED SOME AIR.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING? >> I... I NEED
SOME AIR. >> HOW DOES THAT FEEL?

I... I NEED SOME AIR. >> HOW DOES
THAT FEEL? MR. MCMANUS, YOUR WIFE

HOW DOES THAT FEEL? MR. MCMANUS,
YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY IN THERE.

MR. MCMANUS, YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A
BABY IN THERE. >> I KNOW, I KNOW THAT.

IS HAVING A BABY IN THERE. >> I
KNOW, I KNOW THAT. >> ALL RIGHT.

I KNOW, I KNOW THAT. >> ALL
RIGHT. WELL THEN, YOU HAVE TO GO IN

ALL RIGHT. WELL THEN, YOU HAVE
TO GO IN THERE SO THAT WE CAN HAVE IT.

WELL THEN, YOU HAVE TO GO IN THERE SO THAT
WE CAN HAVE IT. >> BUT SHE DOESN'T WANT ME IN

THERE SO THAT WE CAN HAVE IT. >>
BUT SHE DOESN'T WANT ME IN THERE.

BUT SHE DOESN'T WANT ME IN
THERE. >> OH, YES, SHE DOES WANT YOU

THERE. >> OH, YES, SHE
DOES WANT YOU IN THERE, SIR.

OH, YES, SHE DOES WANT YOU IN
THERE, SIR. >> BUT SHE YELLED AT ME.

IN THERE, SIR. >> BUT SHE YELLED
AT ME. >> WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT, YOU

BUT SHE YELLED AT ME. >> WOMEN
ARE LIKE THAT, YOU UNDERSTAND?

WOMEN ARE LIKE THAT, YOU UNDERSTAND?
MY WIFE... MY WIFE, WHEN SHE WAS

UNDERSTAND? MY WIFE... MY WIFE, WHEN
SHE WAS THERE IN THE DELIVERY ROOM AND

MY WIFE... MY WIFE, WHEN SHE WAS THERE IN THE
DELIVERY ROOM AND THAT PAIN HIT, MY WIFE STOOD UP

THERE IN THE DELIVERY ROOM AND THAT PAIN HIT,
MY WIFE STOOD UP AND TOLD EVERYBODY IN THE

THAT PAIN HIT, MY WIFE STOOD UP AND TOLD
EVERYBODY IN THE DELIVERY ROOM THAT MY PARENTS

AND TOLD EVERYBODY IN THE DELIVERY
ROOM THAT MY PARENTS WERE NEVER MARRIED.

DELIVERY ROOM THAT MY PARENTS
WERE NEVER MARRIED. OKAY?

WERE NEVER MARRIED. OKAY?
ALL RIGHT, SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT

OKAY? ALL RIGHT, SO
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

ALL RIGHT, SO DON'T WORRY
ABOUT IT. >> DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT?

IT. >> DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT?
LOOK AT ME, I'VE CRUMBLED UNDER

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT? LOOK AT
ME, I'VE CRUMBLED UNDER THE PRESSURE.

LOOK AT ME, I'VE CRUMBLED UNDER THE
PRESSURE. I CAN'T GET ANYTHING RIGHT.

THE PRESSURE. I CAN'T GET ANYTHING
RIGHT. I FEEL LIKE A BUMBLING FOOL.

I CAN'T GET ANYTHING RIGHT. I FEEL LIKE A
BUMBLING FOOL. >> MR. MCMANUS, YOU HAVE

I FEEL LIKE A BUMBLING FOOL. >> MR. MCMANUS,
YOU HAVE THE MAKING OF A PERFECT FATHER.

MR. MCMANUS, YOU HAVE THE MAKING
OF A PERFECT FATHER. NOW, LET'S GO.

THE MAKING OF A PERFECT FATHER. NOW,
LET'S GO. >> BUT I'VE FORGOT EVERYTHING.

NOW, LET'S GO. >> BUT I'VE FORGOT
EVERYTHING. I FORGOT HOW TO BREATHE.

BUT I'VE FORGOT EVERYTHING. I FORGOT HOW TO
BREATHE. >> THAT'S SIMPLE... ALL YOU HAVE

I FORGOT HOW TO BREATHE. >> THAT'S SIMPLE...
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GO, WHOO-WHOO-WHOO.

THAT'S SIMPLE... ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GO,
WHOO-WHOO-WHOO. >> I MEAN MY OWN BREATHING.

TO DO IS GO, WHOO-WHOO-WHOO. >> I MEAN
MY OWN BREATHING. >> MR. MCMANUS, YOUR WIFE

I MEAN MY OWN BREATHING. >> MR. MCMANUS,
YOUR WIFE IS GOING TO HAVE THE BABY.

MR. MCMANUS, YOUR WIFE IS GOING
TO HAVE THE BABY. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

IS GOING TO HAVE THE BABY. DO YOU
UNDERSTAND? SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND? SO DON'T WORRY
ABOUT IT. THERE ARE WOMEN WHO ARE

SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. THERE ARE WOMEN
WHO ARE 9 MONTHS PREGNANT OUT PICKING

THERE ARE WOMEN WHO ARE 9 MONTHS PREGNANT
OUT PICKING RICE, AND THE BABY FALLS RIGHT

9 MONTHS PREGNANT OUT PICKING RICE, AND THE
BABY FALLS RIGHT OUT AND STARTS TO PICK BESIDE

RICE, AND THE BABY FALLS RIGHT OUT
AND STARTS TO PICK BESIDE THE MOTHER!

OUT AND STARTS TO PICK BESIDE THE
MOTHER! >> I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT

THE MOTHER! >> I DON'T
KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT RICE.

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
RICE. >> MR. MCMANUS, WHAT I'M TRYING

RICE. >> MR. MCMANUS, WHAT I'M
TRYING TO SAY IS YOUR WIFE'S GOING TO

MR. MCMANUS, WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS YOUR
WIFE'S GOING TO DELIVER ANYWAY, TRUST ME.

TO SAY IS YOUR WIFE'S GOING TO DELIVER
ANYWAY, TRUST ME. ALL I'M GONNA DO IS HOLD

DELIVER ANYWAY, TRUST ME. ALL
I'M GONNA DO IS HOLD THE ROPE.

ALL I'M GONNA DO IS HOLD THE
ROPE. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS CHEER.

THE ROPE. ALL YOU HAVE
TO DO IS CHEER. >> CHEER?

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS
CHEER. >> CHEER? >> CHEER.

CHEER? >> CHEER.
PUSH, JUST PUSH, CHEER.

CHEER. PUSH, JUST PUSH, CHEER.
CHEER, PUSH 'EM OUT, SHOVE 'EM

PUSH, JUST PUSH, CHEER. CHEER,
PUSH 'EM OUT, SHOVE 'EM OUT, WAY OUT!

CHEER, PUSH 'EM OUT, SHOVE 'EM OUT,
WAY OUT! PUSH 'EM OUT, SHOVE 'EM OUT,

OUT, WAY OUT! PUSH 'EM
OUT, SHOVE 'EM OUT, WAY OUT.

PUSH 'EM OUT, SHOVE 'EM OUT, WAY
OUT. PUSH 'EM OUT, SHOVE 'EM OUT,

WAY OUT. PUSH 'EM OUT,
SHOVE 'EM OUT, WAY OUT!

PUSH 'EM OUT, SHOVE 'EM OUT, WAY
OUT! PUSH 'EM OUT, SHOVE 'EM OUT,

WAY OUT! PUSH 'EM OUT,
SHOVE 'EM OUT, WAY OUT!

PUSH 'EM OUT, SHOVE 'EM OUT, WAY
OUT! PUSH 'EM OUT, SHOVE 'EM OUT,

WAY OUT! PUSH 'EM OUT,
SHOVE 'EM OUT, WAY... LET'S GO!

STOP TOUCHING ME! >> MOM!
TEDDY'S TOUCHING RUDY AGAIN!

MOM! TEDDY'S TOUCHING RUDY
AGAIN! >> I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING!

TEDDY'S TOUCHING RUDY AGAIN! >> I
WASN'T DOING ANYTHING! >> UH-HUH!

I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING! >>
UH-HUH! >> YOU'RE IN ENOUGH TROUBLE AS

UH-HUH! >> YOU'RE IN ENOUGH TROUBLE
AS IT IS, YOUNG MAN, BRINGING HOME

YOU'RE IN ENOUGH TROUBLE AS IT IS, YOUNG
MAN, BRINGING HOME THAT REPORT CARD OF YOURS.

IT IS, YOUNG MAN, BRINGING HOME THAT REPORT
CARD OF YOURS. NOW, YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE

THAT REPORT CARD OF YOURS. NOW, YOUR FATHER
AND I HAVE GIVEN YOU EVERY ADVANTAGE IN

NOW, YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE GIVEN YOU EVERY
ADVANTAGE IN THIS WORLD, AND WHAT DO YOU DO?

GIVEN YOU EVERY ADVANTAGE IN THIS WORLD, AND
WHAT DO YOU DO? >> WELL, IT'S LIKE I TOLD YOU...

THIS WORLD, AND WHAT DO YOU DO? >> WELL, IT'S
LIKE I TOLD YOU... >> DON'T ANSWER ME WHEN I'M

WELL, IT'S LIKE I TOLD YOU... >> DON'T
ANSWER ME WHEN I'M ASKING YOU QUESTIONS,

DON'T ANSWER ME WHEN I'M ASKING
YOU QUESTIONS, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.

ASKING YOU QUESTIONS, KEEP YOUR MOUTH
SHUT. DO YOU THINK I'M TALKING JUST TO

KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. DO YOU THINK
I'M TALKING JUST TO HEAR MYSELF TALK?

DO YOU THINK I'M TALKING JUST
TO HEAR MYSELF TALK? ANSWER ME!

HEAR MYSELF TALK?
ANSWER ME! >> NOW?

ANSWER ME! >> NOW? >>
SAVE THOSE SMART-MOUTHED

NOW? >> SAVE THOSE SMART-MOUTHED
ANSWERS FOR YOUR FATHER, BECAUSE

SAVE THOSE SMART-MOUTHED ANSWERS FOR YOUR
FATHER, BECAUSE I HAVE WASHED MY HANDS OF THIS

ANSWERS FOR YOUR FATHER, BECAUSE I
HAVE WASHED MY HANDS OF THIS ENTIRE MATTER.

I HAVE WASHED MY HANDS OF THIS
ENTIRE MATTER. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

ENTIRE MATTER. DO YOU
UNDERSTAND? >> RIGHT, NO PROBLEM.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND? >>
RIGHT, NO PROBLEM. SNITCH.

RIGHT, NO PROBLEM. SNITCH.
TEDDY'S THROWING FOOD!

SNITCH. >> TEDDY'S THROWING FOOD!
PLEASE CONTROL YOUR CHILDREN!

TEDDY'S THROWING FOOD! >> PLEASE CONTROL
YOUR CHILDREN! >> ALL RIGHT, YOU'VE FOOLED

PLEASE CONTROL YOUR CHILDREN! >> ALL RIGHT,
YOU'VE FOOLED AROUND HERE LONG ENOUGH.

ALL RIGHT, YOU'VE FOOLED AROUND HERE
LONG ENOUGH. DENISE, HELP ME CLEAR THIS

AROUND HERE LONG ENOUGH.
DENISE, HELP ME CLEAR THIS TABLE.

DENISE, HELP ME CLEAR THIS
TABLE. THEODORE, YOU GO UPSTAIRS

TABLE. THEODORE, YOU GO UPSTAIRS
AND WAIT IN YOUR ROOM FOR YOUR

THEODORE, YOU GO UPSTAIRS AND
WAIT IN YOUR ROOM FOR YOUR FATHER.

AND WAIT IN YOUR ROOM FOR YOUR
FATHER. AND THE REST OF YOU GET UP FROM

FATHER. AND THE REST OF YOU GET UP
FROM THE TABLE, GO UPSTAIRS, TAKE OFF

AND THE REST OF YOU GET UP FROM THE TABLE, GO
UPSTAIRS, TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES, GET INTO

THE TABLE, GO UPSTAIRS, TAKE OFF ALL YOUR
CLOTHES, GET INTO THE SHOWER, TURN ON THE WATER,

ALL YOUR CLOTHES, GET INTO THE SHOWER,
TURN ON THE WATER, STAND UNDER THE WATER.

THE SHOWER, TURN ON THE WATER, STAND
UNDER THE WATER. RINSE YOURSELVES OFF, DRY

STAND UNDER THE WATER. RINSE YOURSELVES
OFF, DRY YOURSELVES, GET INTO BED

RINSE YOURSELVES OFF, DRY
YOURSELVES, GET INTO BED AND GO TO SLEEP.

YOURSELVES, GET INTO BED
AND GO TO SLEEP. NOW, GO.

AND GO TO SLEEP. NOW,
GO. >> STOP TOUCHING ME!

NOW, GO. >> STOP TOUCHING
ME! >> I WASN'T TOUCHING YOU,

STOP TOUCHING ME! >> I
WASN'T TOUCHING YOU, LITTLE GIRL!

I WASN'T TOUCHING YOU, LITTLE
GIRL! >> YOU WAS, STOP TOUCHING ME!

LITTLE GIRL! >> YOU WAS, STOP
TOUCHING ME! >> DON'T START TOUCHING ME!

YOU WAS, STOP TOUCHING ME! >> DON'T START
TOUCHING ME! >> OKAY, I WON'T TOUCH YOU,

DON'T START TOUCHING ME! >>
OKAY, I WON'T TOUCH YOU, I'LL SHOVE YOU.

OKAY, I WON'T TOUCH YOU, I'LL
SHOVE YOU. >> NEW RULE IN THIS HOUSE

I'LL SHOVE YOU. >> NEW RULE IN THIS
HOUSE STARTING NOW, NOBODY IS TO TOUCH

NEW RULE IN THIS HOUSE STARTING NOW, NOBODY
IS TO TOUCH ANYBODY ANYWHERE WITH ANYTHING

STARTING NOW, NOBODY IS TO TOUCH ANYBODY ANYWHERE
WITH ANYTHING FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES!

ANYBODY ANYWHERE WITH ANYTHING FOR THE REST
OF THEIR LIVES! CLIFF, WHY DO WE HAVE FOUR

FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES! CLIFF,
WHY DO WE HAVE FOUR CHILDREN?

CLIFF, WHY DO WE HAVE FOUR CHILDREN?
BECAUSE WE DID NOT WANT FIVE.

CHILDREN? >> BECAUSE WE DID
NOT WANT FIVE. HELLO, MY DEAR.

BECAUSE WE DID NOT WANT
FIVE. HELLO, MY DEAR. MM, RIGHT.

HELLO, MY DEAR. MM,
RIGHT. MRS. MCMANUS.

MM, RIGHT. MRS. MCMANUS.
MRS. MCMANUS FINALLY DELIVERED,

MRS. MCMANUS. MRS. MCMANUS FINALLY
DELIVERED, AFTER BEING IN LABOR FOR

MRS. MCMANUS FINALLY DELIVERED,
AFTER BEING IN LABOR FOR 30 HOURS.

AFTER BEING IN LABOR FOR 30
HOURS. BROUGHT HER INTO THE ROOM,

30 HOURS. BROUGHT HER INTO THE
ROOM, THOUGHT WE'D HAVE BIG TROUBLE,

BROUGHT HER INTO THE ROOM, THOUGHT WE'D HAVE
BIG TROUBLE, BUT POPPED IT OUT JUST LIKE

THOUGHT WE'D HAVE BIG TROUBLE,
BUT POPPED IT OUT JUST LIKE TOAST.

BUT POPPED IT OUT JUST LIKE
TOAST. I'M TELLING YOU, ALL I HAD TO DO

TOAST. I'M TELLING YOU, ALL I HAD TO
DO WAS JUST SIT THERE IN A CROUCH

I'M TELLING YOU, ALL I HAD TO DO WAS JUST
SIT THERE IN A CROUCH JUST LIKE JOHNNY BENCH.

WAS JUST SIT THERE IN A CROUCH JUST
LIKE JOHNNY BENCH. WHO'S IN TROUBLE NOW?

JUST LIKE JOHNNY BENCH. WHO'S
IN TROUBLE NOW? >> THEODORE.

WHO'S IN TROUBLE NOW? >> THEODORE.
OH, GOOD, BECAUSE I THOUGHT

THEODORE. >> OH, GOOD,
BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS ME.

OH, GOOD, BECAUSE I THOUGHT
IT WAS ME. >> TAKE A LOOK AT THIS,

IT WAS ME. >> TAKE A
LOOK AT THIS, FOUR Ds.

TAKE A LOOK AT THIS, FOUR Ds.
YOU BETTER HANDLE IT, BECAUSE IF

FOUR Ds. YOU BETTER HANDLE IT,
BECAUSE IF I HANDLE IT, HE'S GONNA SMILE

YOU BETTER HANDLE IT, BECAUSE IF I HANDLE
IT, HE'S GONNA SMILE AND SAY, "NO PROBLEM,"

I HANDLE IT, HE'S GONNA SMILE AND SAY,
"NO PROBLEM," AND I'LL HAVE TO KILL HIM.

AND SAY, "NO PROBLEM," AND I'LL HAVE
TO KILL HIM. >> SO YOU WANT ME TO KILL HIM

AND I'LL HAVE TO KILL HIM. >> SO
YOU WANT ME TO KILL HIM FOR YOU?

SO YOU WANT ME TO
KILL HIM FOR YOU? >> RIGHT.

FOR YOU? >> RIGHT. >> CAN
I HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT

RIGHT. >> CAN I HAVE
SOMETHING TO EAT BEFORE I KILL HIM?

CAN I HAVE SOMETHING TO
EAT BEFORE I KILL HIM? >> CLIFF!

BEFORE I KILL HIM? >> CLIFF!
YEAH, I'LL BE CRUELER

CLIFF! >> YEAH, I'LL BE
CRUELER ON AN EMPTY STOMACH.

YEAH, I'LL BE CRUELER ON
AN EMPTY STOMACH. >> CLIFF!

THEO?
YO.

HARD TO GET GOOD HELP, ISN'T
IT? SON, YOUR MOTHER ASKED ME TO

ISN'T IT? SON, YOUR MOTHER ASKED
ME TO COME UP HERE AND KILL YOU.

SON, YOUR MOTHER ASKED ME TO COME
UP HERE AND KILL YOU. >> HEY, I KNOW.

COME UP HERE AND KILL YOU. >>
HEY, I KNOW. >> YOU KNOW WHAT?

HEY, I KNOW. >> YOU KNOW
WHAT? >> WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY,

YOU KNOW WHAT? >> WHAT YOU'RE
GONNA SAY, AND IT'S UNDER CONTROL,

WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY, AND
IT'S UNDER CONTROL, SO NO PROBLEM.

AND IT'S UNDER CONTROL, SO NO
PROBLEM. >> NO PROBLEM, RIGHT, RIGHT.

SO NO PROBLEM. >> NO PROBLEM, RIGHT,
RIGHT. HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO GET INTO

NO PROBLEM, RIGHT, RIGHT. HOW DO YOU EXPECT
TO GET INTO COLLEGE WITH GRADES LIKE THIS?

HOW DO YOU EXPECT TO GET INTO COLLEGE
WITH GRADES LIKE THIS? >> NO PROBLEM.

COLLEGE WITH GRADES LIKE
THIS? >> NO PROBLEM. >> HUH?

NO PROBLEM. >> HUH?
SEE, I'M NOT GOING TO

HUH? >> SEE, I'M
NOT GOING TO COLLEGE.

SEE, I'M NOT GOING TO
COLLEGE. >> DAMN RIGHT.

COLLEGE. >> DAMN RIGHT.
I AM GONNA GET THROUGH

DAMN RIGHT. >> I AM GONNA GET
THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL AND THEN GET A JOB

I AM GONNA GET THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL
AND THEN GET A JOB LIKE REGULAR PEOPLE.

HIGH SCHOOL AND THEN GET A JOB LIKE
REGULAR PEOPLE. >> REGULAR PEOPLE?

LIKE REGULAR PEOPLE. >> REGULAR
PEOPLE? >> YEAH, YOU KNOW, WHO WORK

REGULAR PEOPLE? >> YEAH, YOU
KNOW, WHO WORK IN THE GAS STATION, DRIVE

YEAH, YOU KNOW, WHO WORK IN THE GAS
STATION, DRIVE A BUS, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

IN THE GAS STATION, DRIVE A BUS, SOMETHING
LIKE THAT. >> SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS YOUR

A BUS, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. >> SO WHAT YOU'RE
SAYING IS YOUR MOTHER AND I SHOULDN'T CARE IF

SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING IS YOUR MOTHER AND I
SHOULDN'T CARE IF YOU GET Ds BECAUSE YOU DON'T

MOTHER AND I SHOULDN'T CARE IF YOU GET Ds
BECAUSE YOU DON'T NEED GOOD GRADES TO BE REGULAR

YOU GET Ds BECAUSE YOU DON'T NEED
GOOD GRADES TO BE REGULAR PEOPLE?

NEED GOOD GRADES TO BE
REGULAR PEOPLE? >> RIGHT!

PEOPLE? >> RIGHT! >> OKAY.

RIGHT! >> OKAY. OH,
SUPPOSE YOU GRADUATE FROM

OKAY. OH, SUPPOSE YOU GRADUATE
FROM HIGH SCHOOL, LET'S SAY YOU JUST

OH, SUPPOSE YOU GRADUATE FROM
HIGH SCHOOL, LET'S SAY YOU JUST SLIDE BY.

HIGH SCHOOL, LET'S SAY YOU JUST
SLIDE BY. ALL RIGHT, NOW YOU'VE GOT TO

SLIDE BY. ALL RIGHT, NOW
YOU'VE GOT TO FIND A JOB.

ALL RIGHT, NOW YOU'VE GOT TO FIND A
JOB. NOW, WHAT KIND OF SALARY DO YOU

FIND A JOB. NOW, WHAT KIND OF SALARY
DO YOU EXPECT FOR A REGULAR PERSON?

NOW, WHAT KIND OF SALARY DO YOU EXPECT
FOR A REGULAR PERSON? >> MM, $250 A WEEK.

EXPECT FOR A REGULAR PERSON? >> MM,
$250 A WEEK. >> TWO HUNDRED FIFTY DOLLARS

MM, $250 A WEEK. >> TWO
HUNDRED FIFTY DOLLARS A WEEK?

TWO HUNDRED FIFTY
DOLLARS A WEEK? >> YEAH.

A WEEK? >> YEAH. >> SIT DOWN.

YEAH. >> SIT DOWN. I AM
GONNA GIVE YOU $300 A WEEK,

SIT DOWN. I AM GONNA GIVE YOU
$300 A WEEK, YES INDEED, $300 A WEEK,

I AM GONNA GIVE YOU $300 A WEEK,
YES INDEED, $300 A WEEK, $1200 A MONTH.

YES INDEED, $300 A WEEK,
$1200 A MONTH. ALL RIGHT?

$1200 A MONTH. ALL RIGHT?
GREAT, I'LL TAKE IT.

ALL RIGHT? >> GREAT, I'LL
TAKE IT. >> YES, YOU WILL.

GREAT, I'LL TAKE IT. >> YES, YOU
WILL. AND I WILL TAKE $350 FOR TAXES.

YES, YOU WILL. AND I WILL
TAKE $350 FOR TAXES. >> WHOA!

AND I WILL TAKE $350 FOR
TAXES. >> WHOA! >> HUH?

WHOA! >> HUH? YEAH.

HUH? YEAH. NOW,
NOW, BECAUSE SEE, THE

YEAH. NOW, NOW, BECAUSE SEE, THE
GOVERNMENT COMES FOR THE REGULAR

NOW, NOW, BECAUSE SEE, THE GOVERNMENT
COMES FOR THE REGULAR PEOPLE FIRST.

NOW, HOW MUCH DOES THAT LEAVE YOU
WITH? >> EIGHT HUNDRED FIFTY DOLLARS.

YOU WITH? >> EIGHT HUNDRED
FIFTY DOLLARS. >> ALL RIGHT.

EIGHT HUNDRED FIFTY DOLLARS. >>
ALL RIGHT. NOW, YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE

ALL RIGHT. NOW, YOU'VE GOT TO
HAVE AN APARTMENT, BECAUSE YOU ARE

NOW, YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE AN APARTMENT,
BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIVE HERE.

AN APARTMENT, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT GOING
TO LIVE HERE. SO, AN APARTMENT IN MANHATTAN

NOT GOING TO LIVE HERE. SO, AN APARTMENT
IN MANHATTAN WILL RUN YOU AT LEAST $400

SO, AN APARTMENT IN MANHATTAN
WILL RUN YOU AT LEAST $400 A MONTH.

WILL RUN YOU AT LEAST $400 A
MONTH. >> I'LL LIVE IN NEW JERSEY.

A MONTH. >> I'LL LIVE IN
NEW JERSEY. >> ALL RIGHT,

I'LL LIVE IN NEW JERSEY. >>
ALL RIGHT, YOU LIVE IN NEW JERSEY

ALL RIGHT, YOU LIVE IN NEW
JERSEY YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE A CAR.

YOU LIVE IN NEW JERSEY YOU'VE GOT
TO HAVE A CAR. >> I'LL RIDE A MOTORBIKE.

YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE A CAR. >> I'LL RIDE
A MOTORBIKE. >> YOU NEED A HELMET.

I'LL RIDE A MOTORBIKE. >> YOU NEED
A HELMET. FIGURE A HUNDRED A MONTH

YOU NEED A HELMET. FIGURE A
HUNDRED A MONTH FOR CLOTHES AND SHOES.

FIGURE A HUNDRED A MONTH FOR
CLOTHES AND SHOES. >> FIGURE 200,

FOR CLOTHES AND SHOES. >>
FIGURE 200, I WANT TO LOOK GOOD.

FIGURE 200, I WANT TO LOOK GOOD.
OKAY, SO WHAT DOES THAT LEAVE

I WANT TO LOOK GOOD. >> OKAY, SO
WHAT DOES THAT LEAVE YOU WITH?

OKAY, SO WHAT DOES THAT LEAVE
YOU WITH? >> TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS,

YOU WITH? >> TWO HUNDRED
DOLLARS, SO NO PROBLEM.

TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS, SO NO
PROBLEM. >> THERE IS A PROBLEM,

SO NO PROBLEM. >> THERE IS A
PROBLEM, YOU HAVEN'T EATEN YET.

THERE IS A PROBLEM, YOU HAVEN'T
EATEN YET. >> I CAN GET BY ON BOLOGNA

YOU HAVEN'T EATEN YET. >> I CAN
GET BY ON BOLOGNA AND CEREAL.

I CAN GET BY ON BOLOGNA AND
CEREAL. SO I GOT EVERYTHING I NEED PLUS

AND CEREAL. SO I GOT EVERYTHING I
NEED PLUS $200 LEFT FOR THE MONTH.

SO I GOT EVERYTHING I NEED PLUS $200
LEFT FOR THE MONTH. >> YOU PLAN TO HAVE

$200 LEFT FOR THE MONTH. >>
YOU PLAN TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?

YOU PLAN TO HAVE A
GIRLFRIEND? >> FOR SURE.

REGULAR PEOPLE? >> PLEASE
OPEN THIS DOOR! >> VANESSA?

PLEASE OPEN THIS DOOR! >>
VANESSA? >> OPEN THIS DOOR!

VANESSA? >> OPEN
THIS DOOR! >> VANESSA!

OPEN THIS DOOR! >>
VANESSA! VANESSA I...?

VANESSA! VANESSA
I...? COME HERE.

VANESSA I...? COME
HERE. COME HERE!

COME HERE. COME HERE! HERE!

COME HERE! HERE! HERE!

HERE! HERE! HERE!

HERE! HERE! SEE,
SEE, THERE IS THERE,

HERE! SEE, SEE, THERE IS
THERE, THIS IS HERE, COME HERE.

SEE, SEE, THERE IS THERE, THIS IS HERE,
COME HERE. >> DAD, DENISE PUSHED ASIDE THE

THIS IS HERE, COME HERE. >> DAD, DENISE PUSHED
ASIDE THE BATHROOM AND SO THE SHAMPOO IS

DAD, DENISE PUSHED ASIDE THE BATHROOM AND SO
THE SHAMPOO IS IN RUDY'S EYES, AND SHE WOULDN'T

BATHROOM AND SO THE SHAMPOO IS IN RUDY'S EYES,
AND SHE WOULDN'T LET ME RINSE IT OFF LIKE MOM

IN RUDY'S EYES, AND SHE WOULDN'T
LET ME RINSE IT OFF LIKE MOM SAID TO.

LET ME RINSE IT OFF LIKE MOM SAID
TO. AND NOW RUDY MIGHT BE BLINDED

SAID TO. AND NOW RUDY
MIGHT BE BLINDED FOR LIFE.

AND NOW RUDY MIGHT BE BLINDED
FOR LIFE. IF SHE IS, CAN WE GET A DOG?

FOR LIFE. IF SHE IS, CAN WE GET
A DOG? >> NO, BUT I'LL TELL YOU

IF SHE IS, CAN WE GET A DOG? >> NO, BUT
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU CAN WALK YOUR SISTER

NO, BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, YOU
CAN WALK YOUR SISTER DOWN TO MY ROOM.

WHAT, YOU CAN WALK YOUR SISTER DOWN
TO MY ROOM. GET HER CLEANED UP, GO AHEAD.

DOWN TO MY ROOM. GET HER
CLEANED UP, GO AHEAD. OH.

GET HER CLEANED
UP, GO AHEAD. OH. HEY!

OH. HEY! >> HEY.

HEY! >> HEY. >>
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

HEY. >> WHERE ARE YOU
GOING? >> I GOT A DATE, DADDY.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING? >> I GOT A
DATE, DADDY. >> NOT IN THOSE PANTS.

I GOT A DATE, DADDY. >> NOT IN THOSE
PANTS. BLOOD CANNOT GET UP TO YOUR

NOT IN THOSE PANTS. BLOOD
CANNOT GET UP TO YOUR BRAIN.

BLOOD CANNOT GET UP TO YOUR
BRAIN. AND BESIDES, THIS IS A SCHOOL

BRAIN. AND BESIDES,
THIS IS A SCHOOL NIGHT.

AND BESIDES, THIS IS A SCHOOL
NIGHT. >> IT'S FRIDAY, DADDY.

NIGHT. >> IT'S FRIDAY, DADDY.
YEAH, BUT DID YOU GO

IT'S FRIDAY, DADDY. >> YEAH,
BUT DID YOU GO TO SCHOOL TODAY?

YEAH, BUT DID YOU GO
TO SCHOOL TODAY? >> YEAH.

TO SCHOOL TODAY? >> YEAH.
OKAY, SO IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT.

YEAH. >> OKAY, SO IT'S A
SCHOOL NIGHT. >> I ASKED MOM,

OKAY, SO IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT.
I ASKED MOM, SHE SAID I COULD GO.

I ASKED MOM, SHE SAID
I COULD GO. GO ASK HER.

SHE SAID I COULD GO.
GO ASK HER. >> ASK MOM?

GO ASK HER. >> ASK MOM? I
HAVE TO ASK YOUR MOTHER?

ASK MOM? I HAVE TO ASK YOUR
MOTHER? I DON'T HAVE TO ASK ANYBODY.

I HAVE TO ASK YOUR MOTHER? I DON'T HAVE TO
ASK ANYBODY. NOW, GO ON IN AND CHANGE YOUR

I DON'T HAVE TO ASK ANYBODY. NOW,
GO ON IN AND CHANGE YOUR PANTS.

NOW, GO ON IN AND CHANGE
YOUR PANTS. THANK YOU.

PANTS. THANK YOU. CLAIRE!

THANK YOU. CLAIRE! CLAIRE?

CLAIRE! CLAIRE? >> YES?

CLAIRE? >> YES? >> DID
YOU TELL DENISE SHE COULD

YES? >> DID YOU TELL DENISE SHE
COULD GO OUT ON A DATE TONIGHT?

DID YOU TELL DENISE SHE COULD
GO OUT ON A DATE TONIGHT? >> YES, I DID.

GO OUT ON A DATE TONIGHT? >> YES, I
DID. >> WELL, HAVE YOU SEEN THE BOY?

YES, I DID. >> WELL, HAVE
YOU SEEN THE BOY? >> YES, I HAVE.

WELL, HAVE YOU SEEN THE BOY? >>
YES, I HAVE. >> WELL, HOW UGLY IS HE?

YES, I HAVE. >> WELL,
HOW UGLY IS HE? HEY!

WELL, HOW UGLY
IS HE? HEY! >> HEY!

HEY! >> HEY! HOW YOU DOING?

HEY! HOW YOU
DOING? >> HOW ARE YOU?

HOW YOU DOING? >>
HOW ARE YOU? SIT DOWN.

HOW ARE YOU? SIT DOWN.
I SAID STOP TOUCHING ME!

SIT DOWN. >> I SAID STOP TOUCHING
ME! >> GET OUT OF MY ROOM, NOW!

I SAID STOP TOUCHING ME! >> GET OUT OF
MY ROOM, NOW! >> DO YOU WANT ME TO COME UP

GET OUT OF MY ROOM, NOW! >>
DO YOU WANT ME TO COME UP THERE?

DO YOU WANT ME TO
COME UP THERE? >> [BOTH] NO!

THERE? >> [BOTH] NO!
I'M DENISE'S FATHER.

[BOTH] NO! >> I'M DENISE'S
FATHER. >> IS THAT RIGHT?

I'M DENISE'S FATHER. >> IS THAT
RIGHT? UM, ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY EAR?

IS THAT RIGHT? UM, ARE YOU LOOKING
AT MY EAR? >> NO, I WAS LOOKING AT

UM, ARE YOU LOOKING AT MY EAR? >>
NO, I WAS LOOKING AT THE EARRING IN IT.

NO, I WAS LOOKING AT THE
EARRING IN IT. >> YEAH, IT'S A REAL

THE EARRING IN IT. >> YEAH, IT'S A
REAL CONVERSATION PIECE FOR SOME

YEAH, IT'S A REAL CONVERSATION
PIECE FOR SOME OLDER PEOPLE.

CONVERSATION PIECE FOR SOME OLDER
PEOPLE. I GOT IT ON A SHIP, MERCHANT

OLDER PEOPLE. I GOT IT ON
A SHIP, MERCHANT MARINES.

I GOT IT ON A SHIP, MERCHANT
MARINES. WHEN YOU CROSS THE EQUATOR,

MARINES. WHEN YOU CROSS THE
EQUATOR, THEY PIERCE YOUR EAR.

WHEN YOU CROSS THE EQUATOR, THEY
PIERCE YOUR EAR. IT'S LIKE A TRADITION.

THEY PIERCE YOUR EAR. IT'S LIKE A
TRADITION. >> WHEN YOU CROSS BACK

IT'S LIKE A TRADITION. >> WHEN
YOU CROSS BACK WILL THEY FILL IT IN?

THAT'S GOOD, SIR. >> SO
WHEN DO YOU SHIP OUT AGAIN?

SO WHEN DO YOU SHIP OUT
AGAIN? >> OH, I'M NOT IN IT ANYMORE.

AGAIN? >> OH, I'M NOT IN IT
ANYMORE. OH NO, I HAD ENOUGH OF

OH, I'M NOT IN IT ANYMORE.
OH NO, I HAD ENOUGH OF THAT LIFE.

OH NO, I HAD ENOUGH OF
THAT LIFE. I'M BACK IN SCHOOL.

THAT LIFE. I'M BACK IN SCHOOL.
YOU'RE IN DENISE'S CLASS?

I'M BACK IN SCHOOL. >> YOU'RE IN
DENISE'S CLASS? >> NO, 2 YEARS BEHIND.

YOU'RE IN DENISE'S CLASS? >> NO, 2
YEARS BEHIND. >> AND YOU DON'T MIND THAT?

NO, 2 YEARS BEHIND. >> AND YOU DON'T
MIND THAT? >> HEY, AFTER YOU'VE BEEN IN

AND YOU DON'T MIND THAT? >> HEY,
AFTER YOU'VE BEEN IN A TURKISH PRISON,

HEY, AFTER YOU'VE BEEN IN A
TURKISH PRISON, EVERYTHING ELSE IS EASY.

A TURKISH PRISON, EVERYTHING
ELSE IS EASY. >> DENISE!

EVERYTHING ELSE IS
EASY. >> DENISE! DENISE!

DENISE! DENISE! >>
TU TIENES QUE HACER.

DENISE! >> TU TIENES QUE
HACER. ROLLING YOUR EYES AT ME.

TU TIENES QUE HACER. ROLLING YOUR
EYES AT ME. >> THERE'S NOBODY THERE, DEAR.

ROLLING YOUR EYES AT ME. >>
THERE'S NOBODY THERE, DEAR. DENISE?

THERE'S NOBODY THERE,
DEAR. DENISE? DENISE?

DENISE? DENISE? DENISE?

DENISE? DENISE? >> A NEW
OUTFIT FOR YOU, DADDY.

DENISE? >> A NEW OUTFIT
FOR YOU, DADDY. >> YEAH.

A NEW OUTFIT FOR YOU,
DADDY. >> YEAH. >> HAPPY?

YEAH. >> HAPPY? >>
LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU

HAPPY? >> LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW IF
YOU KNOW IT OR NOT, BUT YOUR DATE

LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW IT OR NOT,
BUT YOUR DATE DOWNSTAIRS IS JUST WEARING ONE

KNOW IT OR NOT, BUT YOUR DATE
DOWNSTAIRS IS JUST WEARING ONE EARRING.

DOWNSTAIRS IS JUST WEARING
ONE EARRING. >> YEAH?

EARRING. >> YEAH? >>
YEAH, WELL HE GAVE ME

YEAH? >> YEAH, WELL HE GAVE ME
A PERFECTLY GOOD EXPLANATION FOR

YEAH, WELL HE GAVE ME A PERFECTLY GOOD
EXPLANATION FOR IT, BUT IF YOU WANT MY OPINION

A PERFECTLY GOOD EXPLANATION FOR IT, BUT IF YOU
WANT MY OPINION IT'S BECAUSE HE LOST THE OTHER

IT, BUT IF YOU WANT MY OPINION
IT'S BECAUSE HE LOST THE OTHER ONE.

IT'S BECAUSE HE LOST THE
OTHER ONE. >> BYE, DADDY.

ONE. >> BYE, DADDY. >> YEAH.

BYE, DADDY. >> YEAH. DENISE?

YEAH. DENISE? >> YEAH?

DENISE? >> YEAH? >> YOUR FACE.

YEAH? >> YOUR
FACE. >> YOUR FACE?

YOUR FACE. >> YOUR
FACE? >> YOUR FACE.

YOUR FACE? >> YOUR FACE.
I MEAN ONLY ONE HALF OF YOUR

YOUR FACE. I MEAN ONLY ONE
HALF OF YOUR FACE IS MADE UP.

I MEAN ONLY ONE HALF OF YOUR FACE IS
MADE UP. NOW, ARE YOU GOING SOMEPLACE

FACE IS MADE UP. NOW, ARE YOU GOING
SOMEPLACE ELSE TO DO THE OTHER SIDE OR ARE

NOW, ARE YOU GOING SOMEPLACE ELSE TO DO THE OTHER
SIDE OR ARE YOU PLANNING ON WALKING SIDEWAYS

ELSE TO DO THE OTHER SIDE OR ARE YOU
PLANNING ON WALKING SIDEWAYS ALL NIGHT?

YOU PLANNING ON WALKING SIDEWAYS
ALL NIGHT? >> GOODNIGHT, DADDY.

ALL NIGHT? >> GOODNIGHT,
DADDY. >> YEAH.

GOODNIGHT, DADDY.
YEAH. >> GOODNIGHT.

YEAH. >> GOODNIGHT. >>
BUT YOU KNOW THAT HE SPENT

GOODNIGHT. >> BUT YOU KNOW THAT
HE SPENT A YEAR IN A TURKISH PRISON?

BUT YOU KNOW THAT HE SPENT
A YEAR IN A TURKISH PRISON? OH.

A YEAR IN A TURKISH PRISON?
OH. I'M SUPPOSED TO DO SOMETHING

OH. I'M SUPPOSED TO
DO SOMETHING NOW.

I'M SUPPOSED TO DO
SOMETHING NOW. WHERE?

NOW. WHERE? >> DAD.

WHERE? >> DAD. >> HEY!

DAD. >> HEY! ALL RIGHT!

HEY! ALL RIGHT! >> DAD,
I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT

ALL RIGHT! >> DAD, I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT
WHAT YOU SAID AND I SEE YOUR POINT.

DAD, I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID AND
I SEE YOUR POINT. >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

YOU SAID AND I SEE YOUR POINT. >> THANK
YOU, THANK YOU. >> BUT I HAVE A POINT, TOO.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU. >> BUT I
HAVE A POINT, TOO. >> MAKE YOUR POINT.

BUT I HAVE A POINT, TOO. >> MAKE
YOUR POINT. >> YOU'RE A DOCTOR AND MOM'S

MAKE YOUR POINT. >> YOU'RE A DOCTOR
AND MOM'S A LAWYER, AND YOU'RE BOTH

YOU'RE A DOCTOR AND MOM'S A LAWYER,
AND YOU'RE BOTH SUCCESSFUL AND EVERYTHING,

A LAWYER, AND YOU'RE BOTH SUCCESSFUL
AND EVERYTHING, AND THAT'S GREAT.

SUCCESSFUL AND EVERYTHING, AND
THAT'S GREAT. BUT MAYBE I WAS BORN TO BE

AND THAT'S GREAT. BUT MAYBE I WAS
BORN TO BE A REGULAR PERSON AND HAVE

BUT MAYBE I WAS BORN TO BE A REGULAR
PERSON AND HAVE A REGULAR LIFE.

A REGULAR PERSON AND HAVE A
REGULAR LIFE. IF YOU WEREN'T A DOCTOR,

A REGULAR LIFE. IF YOU WEREN'T A
DOCTOR, I WOULDN'T LOVE YOU LESS,

IF YOU WEREN'T A DOCTOR, I WOULDN'T
LOVE YOU LESS, BECAUSE YOU'RE MY DAD.

I WOULDN'T LOVE YOU LESS, BECAUSE
YOU'RE MY DAD. AND SO INSTEAD OF ACTING

BECAUSE YOU'RE MY DAD. AND SO INSTEAD
OF ACTING DISAPPOINTED BECAUSE I'M NOT

AND SO INSTEAD OF ACTING DISAPPOINTED
BECAUSE I'M NOT LIKE YOU, MAYBE YOU CAN JUST

DISAPPOINTED BECAUSE I'M NOT LIKE YOU, MAYBE
YOU CAN JUST ACCEPT WHO I AM AND LOVE ME

LIKE YOU, MAYBE YOU CAN JUST ACCEPT WHO I
AM AND LOVE ME ANYWAY, BECAUSE I'M YOUR SON.

THEO, THAT'S THE DUMBEST
THING I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE!

THING I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY
LIFE! IT'S NO WONDER YOU GET Ds

LIFE! IT'S NO WONDER
YOU GET Ds IN EVERYTHING!

IT'S NO WONDER YOU GET Ds IN
EVERYTHING! NOW, YOU ARE AFRAID TO TRY

IN EVERYTHING! NOW, YOU ARE AFRAID
TO TRY BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID THAT YOUR

NOW, YOU ARE AFRAID TO TRY BECAUSE YOU'RE
AFRAID THAT YOUR BRAIN IS GOING TO EXPLODE AND

BECAUSE YOU'RE AFRAID THAT YOUR BRAIN IS GOING
TO EXPLODE AND IT'S GOING TO OOZE OUT OF YOUR

BRAIN IS GOING TO EXPLODE AND
IT'S GOING TO OOZE OUT OF YOUR EARS!

IT'S GOING TO OOZE OUT OF YOUR
EARS! NOW, I'M TELLING YOU, YOU ARE

EARS! NOW, I'M TELLING YOU, YOU
ARE GOING TO TRY AS HARD AS YOU CAN.

NOW, I'M TELLING YOU, YOU ARE GOING TO TRY AS
HARD AS YOU CAN. AND YOU'RE GONNA DO IT BECAUSE I

GOING TO TRY AS HARD AS YOU CAN. AND
YOU'RE GONNA DO IT BECAUSE I SAID SO.

AND YOU'RE GONNA DO IT BECAUSE I
SAID SO. I AM YOUR FATHER, I BROUGHT YOU

SAID SO. I AM YOUR FATHER, I BROUGHT
YOU IN THIS WORLD AND I'LL TAKE YOU

I AM YOUR FATHER, I BROUGHT YOU
IN THIS WORLD AND I'LL TAKE YOU OUT.

NOW, SON, COME HERE. COME
HERE. NOW, LISTEN TO ME, I JUST WANT

COME HERE. NOW, LISTEN TO ME, I
JUST WANT YOU TO DO THE BEST YOU CAN,

NOW, LISTEN TO ME, I JUST WANT YOU
TO DO THE BEST YOU CAN, THAT'S ALL.

YOU TO DO THE BEST YOU CAN, THAT'S
ALL. >> I'LL TRY, DAD, I REALLY WILL.

THAT'S ALL. >> I'LL TRY, DAD, I
REALLY WILL. >> ALL RIGHT, I LOVE YOU.

I'LL TRY, DAD, I REALLY WILL. >>
ALL RIGHT, I LOVE YOU. >> YEAH, DAD.

ALL RIGHT, I LOVE
YOU. >> YEAH, DAD. >> HUH?

YEAH, DAD. >> HUH? >> I KNOW.

HUH? >> I KNOW. >> YEAH.

I KNOW. >> YEAH. AND MAYBE

YEAH. AND MAYBE YOUR
MOTHER LOVES YOU, TOO.

SO? >> I WANT MY
DINNER. >> IT'S WARMING.

I WANT MY DINNER. >> IT'S WARMING.
MM-HMM, I WANT MY DINNER NOW.

IT'S WARMING. >> MM-HMM, I
WANT MY DINNER NOW. >> IN A MINUTE.

MM-HMM, I WANT MY DINNER NOW. >> IN A
MINUTE. TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED UPSTAIRS.

IN A MINUTE. TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED
UPSTAIRS. >> DEAR, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M LIKE

TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED UPSTAIRS. >> DEAR,
YOU KNOW WHAT I'M LIKE WHEN I'M HUNGRY.

DEAR, YOU KNOW WHAT I'M LIKE
WHEN I'M HUNGRY. I WANT TO EAT.

WHEN I'M HUNGRY. I WANT
TO EAT. >> SO GET A PLATE.

I WANT TO EAT. >> SO GET A
PLATE. >> I DON'T WANT A PLATE,

SO GET A PLATE. >> I DON'T WANT
A PLATE, I'LL EAT OUT OF THE POT.

I DON'T WANT A PLATE, I'LL EAT OUT OF
THE POT. >> COME ON, CLIFF, WE HAVE TO

I'LL EAT OUT OF THE POT. >> COME ON,
CLIFF, WE HAVE TO SET A GOOD EXAMPLE.

COME ON, CLIFF, WE HAVE TO
SET A GOOD EXAMPLE. >> FOR WHO?

SET A GOOD EXAMPLE. >> FOR WHO?
ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME ABOUT

FOR WHO? >> ARE YOU GONNA
TELL ME ABOUT THEO OR NOT?

ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME
ABOUT THEO OR NOT? >> OH, YEAH.

THEO OR NOT? >> OH, YEAH.
HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO HIS ROOM

OH, YEAH. HAVE YOU
BEEN UP TO HIS ROOM LATELY?

HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO HIS ROOM
LATELY? >> I MADE HIM PUT HIS CLOTHES

LATELY? >> I MADE HIM PUT HIS
CLOTHES AWAY THIS AFTERNOON.

I MADE HIM PUT HIS CLOTHES AWAY THIS
AFTERNOON. >> WELL, YOU KNOW THEY CRAWLED

AWAY THIS AFTERNOON. >> WELL,
YOU KNOW THEY CRAWLED BACK OUT.

WELL, YOU KNOW THEY CRAWLED BACK
OUT. >> WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM ABOUT

BACK OUT. >> WHAT DID YOU SAY
TO HIM ABOUT HIS REPORT CARD?

WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM ABOUT HIS
REPORT CARD? >> WELL, I LAID IT ON THE LINE

HIS REPORT CARD? >> WELL, I LAID IT ON
THE LINE TO HIM AND I TOLD HIM THAT HE'D

WELL, I LAID IT ON THE LINE TO HIM AND I TOLD
HIM THAT HE'D HAVE TO DO BETTER IN SCHOOL.

TO HIM AND I TOLD HIM THAT HE'D
HAVE TO DO BETTER IN SCHOOL. >> YEAH?

HAVE TO DO BETTER IN SCHOOL.
YEAH? WHAT DID HE SAY?

YEAH? WHAT DID HE SAY?
WELL, HE SAID, "OKAY."

WHAT DID HE SAY? >> WELL, HE
SAID, "OKAY." >> HE SAID, "OKAY?"

WELL, HE SAID, "OKAY." >> HE
SAID, "OKAY?" >> NO, NOT EXACTLY.

HE SAID, "OKAY?" >> NO, NOT
EXACTLY. >> WELL, WHAT EXACTLY DID HE

NO, NOT EXACTLY. >> WELL,
WHAT EXACTLY DID HE SAY?

WELL, WHAT EXACTLY DID
HE SAY? >> HE SAID, "I'LL TRY."

SAY? >> HE SAID, "I'LL TRY."
"I'LL TRY," IS WORSE THAN,

HE SAID, "I'LL TRY." >> "I'LL
TRY," IS WORSE THAN, "OKAY."

"I'LL TRY," IS WORSE THAN,
"OKAY." >> WELL, NO, I THINK HE SAID,

"OKAY." >> WELL, NO, I
THINK HE SAID, "OKAY."

WELL, NO, I THINK HE SAID,
"OKAY." I THINK THAT'S WHAT HE SAID,

"OKAY." I THINK THAT'S WHAT
HE SAID, HE SAID, "OKAY."

I THINK THAT'S WHAT HE SAID, HE SAID,
"OKAY." YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT I'LL GO UP

HE SAID, "OKAY." YOU KNOW, IF
YOU WANT I'LL GO UP AND ASK HIM.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT I'LL GO UP AND
ASK HIM. >> CLIFF, DID YOU TELL HIM HE'S

AND ASK HIM. >> CLIFF, DID YOU TELL HIM
HE'S HEADED FOR DISASTER AND THAT IF

CLIFF, DID YOU TELL HIM HE'S HEADED FOR DISASTER
AND THAT IF HE DOESN'T BUCKLE DOWN HE'LL

HEADED FOR DISASTER AND THAT IF HE DOESN'T
BUCKLE DOWN HE'LL NEVER GET ANYWHERE?

HE DOESN'T BUCKLE DOWN HE'LL NEVER GET
ANYWHERE? >> THE BOY DOES NOT CARE ABOUT

NEVER GET ANYWHERE? >> THE BOY
DOES NOT CARE ABOUT GETTING ANYWHERE.

THE BOY DOES NOT CARE ABOUT GETTING
ANYWHERE. THE BOY SAID TO ME THAT HE

GETTING ANYWHERE. THE BOY SAID TO ME
THAT HE WANTED TO BE REGULAR PEOPLE.

THE BOY SAID TO ME THAT HE WANTED TO BE
REGULAR PEOPLE. WHEN, IN FACT, WHAT HE IS,

WANTED TO BE REGULAR PEOPLE.
WHEN, IN FACT, WHAT HE IS, IS LAZY PEOPLE.

WHEN, IN FACT, WHAT HE IS, IS LAZY
PEOPLE. AND IF THE REGULAR PEOPLE FIND

IS LAZY PEOPLE. AND IF THE REGULAR
PEOPLE FIND OUT THAT HE'S USING THEIR NAME,

AND IF THE REGULAR PEOPLE FIND OUT THAT HE'S
USING THEIR NAME, THEY'RE GONNA COME DOWN AND KICK

OUT THAT HE'S USING THEIR NAME, THEY'RE
GONNA COME DOWN AND KICK HIS BUTT.

I WAS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ONCE, BEFORE THE
CHILDREN CAME. >> I NEVER MET A MORE BEAUTIFUL

BEFORE THE CHILDREN CAME. >> I
NEVER MET A MORE BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.

I NEVER MET A MORE BEAUTIFUL
WOMAN. >> DO YOU THINK WHEN THEY GROW

WOMAN. >> DO YOU THINK WHEN
THEY GROW UP I'LL BE BEAUTIFUL AGAIN?

DO YOU THINK WHEN THEY GROW UP I'LL BE
BEAUTIFUL AGAIN? >> YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NOW.

UP I'LL BE BEAUTIFUL AGAIN? >> YOU ARE
BEAUTIFUL NOW. I JUST HOPE THEY GET OUT OF

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NOW. I JUST HOPE
THEY GET OUT OF THE HOUSE BEFORE WE DIE.

I JUST HOPE THEY GET OUT OF
THE HOUSE BEFORE WE DIE. >> OH.

THE HOUSE BEFORE
WE DIE. >> OH. MM.

OH. MM. >> MM.

MM. >> MM. >> MM, LET'S
JUST REMEMBER THIS

MM. >> MM, LET'S JUST REMEMBER
THIS IS HOW WE GOT THE CHILDREN.

MM, LET'S JUST REMEMBER THIS IS
HOW WE GOT THE CHILDREN. >> RIGHT!

OH, SHOOT. WHO
IS IT? NO, NO, NO.

WHO IS IT? NO, NO, NO.
WHEN I SAY, "WHO IS IT?"

NO, NO, NO. WHEN I SAY, "WHO IS
IT?" IT DOESN'T MEAN FOR YOU TO COME

WHEN I SAY, "WHO IS IT?" IT
DOESN'T MEAN FOR YOU TO COME IN.

IT DOESN'T MEAN FOR YOU TO
COME IN. WHEN I SAY, "WHO IS IT?"

IN. WHEN I SAY, "WHO IS
IT?" YOU SAY, "WHO IT IS."

WHEN I SAY, "WHO IS IT?" YOU
SAY, "WHO IT IS." WHO IS IT?

YOU SAY, "WHO IT IS."
WHO IS IT? >> WHO IT IS!

WHO IS IT? >> WHO
IT IS! >> COME IN!

WHO IT IS! >> COME IN!
MOM, DAD, WE CAN'T SLEEP

COME IN! >> MOM, DAD, WE CAN'T
SLEEP BECAUSE RUDY THINKS SHE HEARD

MOM, DAD, WE CAN'T SLEEP BECAUSE RUDY THINKS
SHE HEARD THE WOLF MAN GROWLING IN OUR

BECAUSE RUDY THINKS SHE HEARD
THE WOLF MAN GROWLING IN OUR CLOSET.

THE WOLF MAN GROWLING IN OUR
CLOSET. I TOLD HER THERE WASN'T SUCH

CLOSET. I TOLD HER THERE WASN'T
SUCH A THING, BUT SHE DOESN'T

I TOLD HER THERE WASN'T SUCH A
THING, BUT SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE ME.

A THING, BUT SHE DOESN'T
BELIEVE ME. WOULD YOU TELL HER?

BELIEVE ME. WOULD YOU TELL HER?
THERE IS NO WOLF MAN GROWLING

WOULD YOU TELL HER? >> THERE IS NO
WOLF MAN GROWLING IN YOUR CLOSET.

THERE IS NO WOLF MAN
GROWLING IN YOUR CLOSET. >> UH-HUH!

IN YOUR CLOSET. >> UH-HUH! >>
THERE IS NO WOLF MAN GROWLING

UH-HUH! >> THERE IS NO WOLF
MAN GROWLING IN YOUR CLOSET.

THERE IS NO WOLF MAN
GROWLING IN YOUR CLOSET. >> UH-HUH.

IN YOUR CLOSET. >> UH-HUH. >>
ANYBODY GOT ANY OTHER BRIGHT

UH-HUH. >> ANYBODY GOT
ANY OTHER BRIGHT IDEAS?

ANYBODY GOT ANY OTHER BRIGHT
IDEAS? >> MAYBE THE TWO OF YOU SHOULD

IDEAS? >> MAYBE THE TWO OF YOU
SHOULD SLEEP WITH US TONIGHT.

MAYBE THE TWO OF YOU SHOULD SLEEP WITH
US TONIGHT. >> IF YOU REALLY WANT US TO.

SLEEP WITH US TONIGHT. >> IF
YOU REALLY WANT US TO. >> OH.

GOODNIGHT, DARLING.
[ALL] GOODNIGHT!

[MUSIC]