The Brittas Empire (1991–1997): Season 5, Episode 7 - UXB - full transcript
People are looking forward to Julie's wedding with the baronet, she more to the informal party then the Westminster Abbey ceremony. Colin worries Gavin won't be able to fill Mr. Brittas's shoes, Gavin when he finds out Gordon wants Laura to succeed him. Carol barricades herself when Mr. Trap from Social Services shows a court order to confiscate the children she keeps in drawers and closets, but that works out surprisingly well... Helen hasn't told Gordon, but she isn't planning to follow him to Brussels, supposedly for the family dog and the children's school, but changes her mind when she finds out about an EU commissioner's pay and perks. Gordon insisted everyone has to learn think for himself, but that leaves Colin with an excessive responsibility: an unexploded World War II bomb he dug out...
Invitation for you, Colin.
Oh, Julie, how very kind!
Two, actually. A serious one
and a bun fight... Good heavens!
You're marrying in westminster
Abbey! That's the bun fight.
Tonight's serious. In the staff room,
lots of beer. You must be sick twice.
I'll look forward to that!
Have you heard anything?
What? Who takes over
when mr brittas goes?
I've been through his diary
and his pockets. Nothing.
Won't be easy, finding
feet for the giant's shoes.
Gavin seems pretty keen.
Gavin? Haven't you seen?
The nose is very close
to the royal trousers.
Gavin?!
Forgive me. He's a nice lad, but he can't
face emergencies like mr brittas does.
Well, that's one
thing going for him!
You're not putting that up? I needed
something to help remember him by.
Most of us won't have
any problem. See ya!
Gavin...
..Featherly!
Rubble falls behind wall
Knock at door come in!
Ah, mr brittas, I
just wanted to...
I left things to my deputy
managers today, Gavin.
I know, I just... I am
rather busy packing.
I'll come back later.
All right, what's the problem?
No problem. Just to say the queuing
system's in place. Queuing system?
Yes. Remember you wanted someone
to increase customer through-flow?
And user-friendly points of access?
Right...? It's set up in reception.
This form shows the delay quotient, comparing
processing speeds with the old system.
A form! Well done!
Two forms, actually. One for the
customer, one self-copier for staff.
This is very impressive
stuff, Gavin featherly.
Thank you. A
database may also be...
Thank god I've found
you, mr brittas! Colin...!
Guess what's in the
basement! I was banging a nail...
Stop, Colin! Stop right there.
I'm off to Brussels, Colin.
I'm very upset about it.
When I'm gone, who will solve your
problems? I don't know, mr brittas.
You will have to solve them
alone. So get used to it now!
Well, I have a feeling...
And let's have no feelings!
Let's just think the
problem through alone.
What if I make a mistake? It's how
we learn, Colin. We make mistakes!
I know, but... go on, Colin.
Go out and make a mistake!
Now, Colin!
Yes, mr brittas.
Shall I see what it is? He's got to
manage alone, Gavin. I thought...
I pick up the pieces when he's
done, but it's the only way he'll learn.
Mr brittas?
What is it? This thing I'm
not allowed to mention...
Colin! Can I say
the first letter?
You're on your own,
Colin! Right, mr brittas.
You are sure? He's got to do it.
In three weeks I won't be here.
Maybe then he'll have
someone else to come to.
What? I imagine we'll
have a new manager.
That reminds me.
Yes, mr brittas?
Could you ask Laura to
come and see me? Laura?
Yes, and I can
show her your forms!
E-e-e-excellent work, Gavin!
Helen! Has he got
you doing that now?
Cleaning?
Could be the w.I. Craft group. They
got a lecture on hanging coats properly.
Children excited?
Sorry? About Brussels?
Oh, I didn't say.
They're not going.
Not going? No, I thought it was
best if they stayed here with me.
Aren't you going? No, it's
hard taking them off school.
Jonathan's just gone
back after being suspended,
and there's the
dog, as well. Yes?
And a friend has kindly said we can
stay in their home. For seven years?
It'll be about that, yes.
Not John rawlinson,
by any chance?
Oh, Helen!
He's got everything! Huge house, lots of money, people
to cook and clean... and does mr brittas know about it?
Well... you've not told him!
He leaves in three weeks!
I know, I know.
That's why I'm here.
I wondered if it might not sound
better coming from... no chance!
Go on, it won't take a sec!
Me, say his wife's leaving?!
Can't you...? No!
You're on your own!
It's that way. I can't
see him till ten, can I?
Why not? It takes half an
hour for the pills to work!
She whispers
foreign accent: Excuse me.
-Could you use our queuing system?
-Beg your pardon?
Our deputy manager's scheme to cut
delays and tempers. Follow the arrow.
-Do I have to?
-It'd help.
Also, if you could
take a number.
Good morning. Welcome to whitbury
leisure centre. Carole speaking.
-I'd...
-Number?
Number one.
Good. How can I help you?
Er... my name is trap. I'm from
the department of social services.
I'm acting on information received
last week. Are you mrs Parkinson?
Yes.
I have heard that children are
kept in drawers behind zis desk.
Yes.
I know it sounds
unlikely, but...
-What did you say?
-"Yes."
You keep three
children in drawers?
Only one at the moment. She has
bad nightmares and is having a lie down.
-And ze others?
-In the cupboard.
Ben's watching TV, and Emily's
doing colouring. Mind the walls, sweetie!
May I see the
child in the drawer?
Yes, but be quiet.
She's very tired.
You just leave her
there in the dark?
Putting a light bulb in there cooks
them! Not a mistake you make twice!
"The 100lb krupps-bessinger Mark
vi, made for deep-ground penetration,
"was detonated by a timing mechanism
that proved somewhat unreliable.
"But from June 1940, it
was replaced by the Mark vii."
Mark vii...
"The Mark vii was also armed with a trembler that
would trigger the detonator if it was moved."
Laura! You called
me, mr brittas.
Yes, if you'd take a
seat, please, Laura.
Now... mr brittas, before you
start, could I say something?
Yes, of course. I know I
probably shouldn't. I have no right.
But... yes?
Well... you're leaving in three
weeks' time, and I just thought...
I can't bear for you to go without
knowing how much you've meant to me.
That's very kind.
I don't mean the
respect we all feel for you.
I love you, mr brittas.
Mm?
I loved you the moment I saw
you. I'll love you the rest of my life.
I know it's useless!
We're both married and can never
be together, but before you go...
I just wanted...
Knock at door
Laura! You called
me, mr brittas?
Yes, if you'd take a
seat, please, laura.
Now... mr brittas, before you
start, could I say something?
Yes, of course! I know I probably
shouldn't. I have no right. But...
Go on! Say what you want to say!
It's about Helen.
My wife?
You may not realise it, but she's
nottoo keen on going to Brussels.
Right. Just a warning. She'll be
here. She's determined not Togo.
Right. That's it, is it?
What? There'snothingelse
youwant to talk to me about?
Do you hear what I'm saying?
Your wife plans toleaveyou!
You'll gotobrusselsalone
it'sthe lastyou'llseeofher!
Yep.
Yes... yes, of course,
Laura. I'llget onto it right away.
Ping
(Hello.)
Ask him not to do that, please!
I'llbe here when
you'reback. Inseven years?!
Lots of couples have to separateat
times. Look at people in thenavy!
They have a reason for doingit!
So do we. Stayingtolookafterthe
family dog is not an explanation!
How else can wekeep him? Hecan't
livein Brussels. This is hishome!
Come on, it's not
about the dog. Yes, itis.
You and ibothknow
what'sreallygoingon.
It'sbeing my wife, isn't
it? Whatdoyou mean?
Wifeto aeuropeancommissioner.
You're scared, aren't you? Scared?
In official residences, entertaining
presidents. You think you'll look stupid!
But you are forgetting
one thing, my sweet.
I'll be there!
I'll be there to hold your hand,
show you how to behave, what to do.
I'd never let you look stupid!
Ģ another emergency. I
told you not to disturb me.
Downstairs. I'd hurry up.
Why can't people cope themselves?
Ok, if you want. Goon, linda!
Hey, hang on! Whatdo you plan to
do with that? Smash a door down.
Do you mean leisure
centre property?
No choice. She's
locked herself in.
Who? Carole.
The dss want her out.
They have a warrant.
Two minutes, my
darling. Come on.
Bee buzzes
eugh!
Buzzing stops
Thump
Carole, you can'tstaythere for
ever. Open up. Muffled protests
mr trap here only wants to
help. Hewon't do anything.
Whatwill you do? In theshort
term, take her children intocare.
Right. All he wants to do is take
your children into care, Carole.
It's not so bad. Orphanages
are very caring places these days.
It's no longer bread
and water and beatings!
It's not, is it? We'd arrange for
foster parents in the first instance.
It'll be a foster home. The kids will go to
nice people who care for them properly.
Muffled shout that's no
way to talk to a manager!
What's up? Carole's
in the cupboard again.
Why? He's from the dss. He's come
to take her children away. What?!
Carole, this is
your last chance.
I won't have my centre immobilised
by a lady locked in a cupboard.
Knock it down. Hyaaa!
Just a minute! There are
three small children in there!
What can we do?
Got a better idea?
Tim, it's so unfair! Did
he say she'd get the job?
I could see it on his face. Why?
What's so special about Laura?
She's efficient, popular,
she's done it before...
I can't think(!)
If I was manager, you wouldn't worry
I'd run off because I was pregnant!
Touch wood.
I'd have got things off the ground,
made the place hum. It's so unfair!
And she doesn't hit
people with croquet balls!
I think we have to admit Carole
has defeated us on this occasion.
Linda, take everyone through to
the rest room, please. Yes, mr brittas.
Mr trap, I'll take you to your car.
Thank you for coming. Have a nice day.
I'd better get to my office and do
some packing. I've got lots to do!
Hang on, I'll be
right back! (Tim!)
There's been an... (Do you
mind? We want to get Carole out!)
(There was an
accident with a ball.)
(Deal with it. Just do it
quietly.) (Right, mr brittas.)
(Emergency services?)
What is it? Colin. She
won't come out if you talk!
Ambulance please. He's badly hurt. Come on, Julie.
Someone start up a brass band, why don't you?!
What is it? A head
injury. It's quite serious.
What? Colin's
been hit on the head.
On the head? Well, get a first
aid box, for goodness' sake!
Goodness, what happened?
It was a cricket ball.
Gavin: Two boys were playing
outside. Did you get their names?
They were far away. Can we discuss
this later? Colin should lie down.
In you go!
Watch the cupboard. She
may come out, looking for food.
Well done, Laura.
Tim, papers under his head.
Gavin, get the culprits' names.
Julie, insurance forms.
Colin? Where's Colin?!
You stay there.
Where do you want it?
What? Where shall I put this?
One person unconscious, one in
a cupboard. Forget about croquet!
It's not a life and death matter!
Put it down and help Tim. Yes.
How is he?
Lots of blood, but it's ok.
It's all we can do.
Ok, let's get him
to the ambulance.
Where are you going?
You told ambulances to come to
the back. It was "better for morale".
Come on, get outside, outside.
I don't like this any
more than you do, but...
Carole: Time for music practice.
She tunes guitar if you don't
open up, I'll fetch the police.
It'd be a lot easier if you'd
come out and talk about it.
Please?
Carole and kids: ♪ edelweiss
♪ every morning, you greet me
♪ small and white... ♪
she hasn't come out,
then? Sorry? Carole.
Carole. No.
Mr trap, it looks strange
keeping children in drawers, but...
The singing. What?
Is that the children?
Yes, they always
practise about now.
Grandmother used to sing this song
to me when I was a boy, in salzburg.
Did she?
If my children
could sing like that!
Yes...
Carole, you can
open the door now.
♪ Blossom of snow,
may you bloom and grow
♪ bloom and grow for ever... ♪
sorry, darling. A pair of hooligans
attacked Colin with a cricket ball.
Fortunately, Tim and
Gavin identified them.
Gordon, what's this? What? Ah!
Is this where we're going to
live? The official residence.
You didn't tell me! I
knew how you'd feel.
And this? Another one.
We have two houses?
Three, actually.
All for us? Three houses?
Don't worry. You'll get
help. There are servants.
You never mentioned servants. I
know. I didn't want to burden you.
You get a limousine as well!
It'll be a very
different lifestyle.
Not the happy, carefree
one we had. Never mind!
It's not too late. If you don't want
to go, just say so, and that's it.
I'll return the relocation allowance
and we won't go. End of story.
This is money. But
we don't have to take it.
If you feel we can't manage,
we won't go. I think I'll manage.
There is the kids' education
to worry about. I don't know...
Going abroad will do them good.
And the dog. Kennels. For seven years?
Sell him, then.
You never cease to amaze me.
The things you'll do to support me.
Can I cash it now? If
you want to, my sweet.
Oh, I do, Gordon, I do.
I'm sorry, I'll come back.
It's all right, Laura, I'm going.
Where? Brussels. Can't stop. Got to
make the bank before the shops shut.
What is it? Carole's
been offered a job. A job?
Mr trap wants her to teach his kids
music - £1,000 pay. She can't decide.
I can't believe it! What?
I've made decisions
for her for five years.
If she can't decide between a total stranger and
having her kids cared for by officials, I give up.
I'll tell her that. Before you
go... Take a seat, please.
Now...
I asked to see you earlier
to give you something.
Oh.
Gosh! All this
for me. What is it?
This is my centre,
Laura. And it's all for you.
Confidential staff files, the black
list, the 20-year plan. All yours.
Mr brittas...
I'd like you to be the new manager
of whitbury newtown leisure centre.
It's a wonderful offer, mr
brittas. I hoped you'd think so.
I'm more flattered than I can
say. There's just one problem.
What? I can't accept.
Why not?
I'm going to america.
In five weeks' time.
I haven't told anyone yet,
but I'm expecting a baby,
and Michael wants
him born out there.
So... I'm leaving.
Gavin, got a dead one here.
Ok, I'll get another.
Thanks. Lovely party.
Couldn't leave this job without
celebrating! Can't wait for the wedding.
It's like a dream come true - marrying a man
who owns a brewery. Every woman's fantasy(!)
All I have to do is sign and they
put a couple of kegs in the boot.
You'll have a happy marriage.
What I remember of it!
There's the flat in Brussels, and the
house in meerhaven, which is vast!
Isn't it!
There are servants at weekends.
This place is on lake como.
It's yours too? It's
a hunting lodge.
Our neighbour is queen
Beatrice, when she's not in Holland.
When are you moving?
Gordon goes this month. I'm
staying on to sell the house.
Really? Yes.
Gavin and I are after a place.
Our flat is too small for a manager.
Come round.
Laura.
No hard feelings? Sorry?
About... you know... oh, the
job! No, Gavin. Congratulations.
Thanks. I know we were aiming for
the same... we'd be fools not to admit...
Think nothing of it. The best man
won. That's nice of you to say so.
We'll only survive if we all
pull together. It'll be a challenge.
Can I make a
suggestion? That's it!
I want people to feel they
can chip in at any time!
You should do something
about the keg. Oh!
Hello, everyone.
This is Wilhelm. I'm music teacher
and governess to his children.
Well done!
A wise choice, mr trap.
Von trap - he hasn't used
the title since leaving Austria.
Did the Nazis drive his family out?
How did you know?! A lucky guess.
Let me introduce
Wilhelm's children.
Lottie, who's 10, Herman's 12,
wernan's 13, and
lisel's 16, going on 17.
Crikey! Come and have
a drink, Carole. Wilhelm!
It's funny, isn't it? What?
How they all found a
happy ending. I suppose so.
Gavin is manager and can make Tim a deputy.
Mr brittas goes to Brussels, his wife's happy.
Carole has a family, you've found
yourself a millionaire. Billionaire.
We all got what we
wanted. And you?
Well, as a matter of fact, I had
some rather good news this morning.
Linda! You've been accepted
for theological college!
I'm hoping to be the first woman
archbishop of canterbury. Wonderful!
Stop, everybody! Stop
right there! What is it?
God! There's going to be a terrible
disaster! You will all die unless...
What?
No... no, it's gone again.
Have a drink.
I had it in the taxi. Why on
earth didn't I write it down?
Anything to load, miss? Sorry?
For mr brittas to take
to the ferry. No. Oh, yes.
He might want to take
his croquet set. Right.
How's it going? I wondered if
you'd have time to pop into the party.
Everyone else is
there. This one too, guv?
Is this a terrible
mistake? What?
Brussels - leaving this place.
Well... they're like children. The smallest
problem, and they run to - mr brittas.
What will they do if I'm
not there? They'll manage.
I worry about them.
They're not just numbers on a
pay slip anymore. They're my staff.
You've changed your mind?
Maybe it's best to have them unload
the Van and stick everything back.
You want this back indoors?
Can I say something? Sure.
I know it's difficult, but in any
job you eventually reach a point,
when, however successful
you are, it's time to move on.
I'm not sure this is the time.
I think it is, mr brittas. You have to
go. Europe needs people like you.
You think so?
They have a dream there.
170 million people all marching
together towards a new dawn.
A wonderful dream. Go
to Brussels, mr brittas.
It's made for people like you.
Take it to Brussels, Charlie.
Oh, Julie, how very kind!
Two, actually. A serious one
and a bun fight... Good heavens!
You're marrying in westminster
Abbey! That's the bun fight.
Tonight's serious. In the staff room,
lots of beer. You must be sick twice.
I'll look forward to that!
Have you heard anything?
What? Who takes over
when mr brittas goes?
I've been through his diary
and his pockets. Nothing.
Won't be easy, finding
feet for the giant's shoes.
Gavin seems pretty keen.
Gavin? Haven't you seen?
The nose is very close
to the royal trousers.
Gavin?!
Forgive me. He's a nice lad, but he can't
face emergencies like mr brittas does.
Well, that's one
thing going for him!
You're not putting that up? I needed
something to help remember him by.
Most of us won't have
any problem. See ya!
Gavin...
..Featherly!
Rubble falls behind wall
Knock at door come in!
Ah, mr brittas, I
just wanted to...
I left things to my deputy
managers today, Gavin.
I know, I just... I am
rather busy packing.
I'll come back later.
All right, what's the problem?
No problem. Just to say the queuing
system's in place. Queuing system?
Yes. Remember you wanted someone
to increase customer through-flow?
And user-friendly points of access?
Right...? It's set up in reception.
This form shows the delay quotient, comparing
processing speeds with the old system.
A form! Well done!
Two forms, actually. One for the
customer, one self-copier for staff.
This is very impressive
stuff, Gavin featherly.
Thank you. A
database may also be...
Thank god I've found
you, mr brittas! Colin...!
Guess what's in the
basement! I was banging a nail...
Stop, Colin! Stop right there.
I'm off to Brussels, Colin.
I'm very upset about it.
When I'm gone, who will solve your
problems? I don't know, mr brittas.
You will have to solve them
alone. So get used to it now!
Well, I have a feeling...
And let's have no feelings!
Let's just think the
problem through alone.
What if I make a mistake? It's how
we learn, Colin. We make mistakes!
I know, but... go on, Colin.
Go out and make a mistake!
Now, Colin!
Yes, mr brittas.
Shall I see what it is? He's got to
manage alone, Gavin. I thought...
I pick up the pieces when he's
done, but it's the only way he'll learn.
Mr brittas?
What is it? This thing I'm
not allowed to mention...
Colin! Can I say
the first letter?
You're on your own,
Colin! Right, mr brittas.
You are sure? He's got to do it.
In three weeks I won't be here.
Maybe then he'll have
someone else to come to.
What? I imagine we'll
have a new manager.
That reminds me.
Yes, mr brittas?
Could you ask Laura to
come and see me? Laura?
Yes, and I can
show her your forms!
E-e-e-excellent work, Gavin!
Helen! Has he got
you doing that now?
Cleaning?
Could be the w.I. Craft group. They
got a lecture on hanging coats properly.
Children excited?
Sorry? About Brussels?
Oh, I didn't say.
They're not going.
Not going? No, I thought it was
best if they stayed here with me.
Aren't you going? No, it's
hard taking them off school.
Jonathan's just gone
back after being suspended,
and there's the
dog, as well. Yes?
And a friend has kindly said we can
stay in their home. For seven years?
It'll be about that, yes.
Not John rawlinson,
by any chance?
Oh, Helen!
He's got everything! Huge house, lots of money, people
to cook and clean... and does mr brittas know about it?
Well... you've not told him!
He leaves in three weeks!
I know, I know.
That's why I'm here.
I wondered if it might not sound
better coming from... no chance!
Go on, it won't take a sec!
Me, say his wife's leaving?!
Can't you...? No!
You're on your own!
It's that way. I can't
see him till ten, can I?
Why not? It takes half an
hour for the pills to work!
She whispers
foreign accent: Excuse me.
-Could you use our queuing system?
-Beg your pardon?
Our deputy manager's scheme to cut
delays and tempers. Follow the arrow.
-Do I have to?
-It'd help.
Also, if you could
take a number.
Good morning. Welcome to whitbury
leisure centre. Carole speaking.
-I'd...
-Number?
Number one.
Good. How can I help you?
Er... my name is trap. I'm from
the department of social services.
I'm acting on information received
last week. Are you mrs Parkinson?
Yes.
I have heard that children are
kept in drawers behind zis desk.
Yes.
I know it sounds
unlikely, but...
-What did you say?
-"Yes."
You keep three
children in drawers?
Only one at the moment. She has
bad nightmares and is having a lie down.
-And ze others?
-In the cupboard.
Ben's watching TV, and Emily's
doing colouring. Mind the walls, sweetie!
May I see the
child in the drawer?
Yes, but be quiet.
She's very tired.
You just leave her
there in the dark?
Putting a light bulb in there cooks
them! Not a mistake you make twice!
"The 100lb krupps-bessinger Mark
vi, made for deep-ground penetration,
"was detonated by a timing mechanism
that proved somewhat unreliable.
"But from June 1940, it
was replaced by the Mark vii."
Mark vii...
"The Mark vii was also armed with a trembler that
would trigger the detonator if it was moved."
Laura! You called
me, mr brittas.
Yes, if you'd take a
seat, please, Laura.
Now... mr brittas, before you
start, could I say something?
Yes, of course. I know I
probably shouldn't. I have no right.
But... yes?
Well... you're leaving in three
weeks' time, and I just thought...
I can't bear for you to go without
knowing how much you've meant to me.
That's very kind.
I don't mean the
respect we all feel for you.
I love you, mr brittas.
Mm?
I loved you the moment I saw
you. I'll love you the rest of my life.
I know it's useless!
We're both married and can never
be together, but before you go...
I just wanted...
Knock at door
Laura! You called
me, mr brittas?
Yes, if you'd take a
seat, please, laura.
Now... mr brittas, before you
start, could I say something?
Yes, of course! I know I probably
shouldn't. I have no right. But...
Go on! Say what you want to say!
It's about Helen.
My wife?
You may not realise it, but she's
nottoo keen on going to Brussels.
Right. Just a warning. She'll be
here. She's determined not Togo.
Right. That's it, is it?
What? There'snothingelse
youwant to talk to me about?
Do you hear what I'm saying?
Your wife plans toleaveyou!
You'll gotobrusselsalone
it'sthe lastyou'llseeofher!
Yep.
Yes... yes, of course,
Laura. I'llget onto it right away.
Ping
(Hello.)
Ask him not to do that, please!
I'llbe here when
you'reback. Inseven years?!
Lots of couples have to separateat
times. Look at people in thenavy!
They have a reason for doingit!
So do we. Stayingtolookafterthe
family dog is not an explanation!
How else can wekeep him? Hecan't
livein Brussels. This is hishome!
Come on, it's not
about the dog. Yes, itis.
You and ibothknow
what'sreallygoingon.
It'sbeing my wife, isn't
it? Whatdoyou mean?
Wifeto aeuropeancommissioner.
You're scared, aren't you? Scared?
In official residences, entertaining
presidents. You think you'll look stupid!
But you are forgetting
one thing, my sweet.
I'll be there!
I'll be there to hold your hand,
show you how to behave, what to do.
I'd never let you look stupid!
Ģ another emergency. I
told you not to disturb me.
Downstairs. I'd hurry up.
Why can't people cope themselves?
Ok, if you want. Goon, linda!
Hey, hang on! Whatdo you plan to
do with that? Smash a door down.
Do you mean leisure
centre property?
No choice. She's
locked herself in.
Who? Carole.
The dss want her out.
They have a warrant.
Two minutes, my
darling. Come on.
Bee buzzes
eugh!
Buzzing stops
Thump
Carole, you can'tstaythere for
ever. Open up. Muffled protests
mr trap here only wants to
help. Hewon't do anything.
Whatwill you do? In theshort
term, take her children intocare.
Right. All he wants to do is take
your children into care, Carole.
It's not so bad. Orphanages
are very caring places these days.
It's no longer bread
and water and beatings!
It's not, is it? We'd arrange for
foster parents in the first instance.
It'll be a foster home. The kids will go to
nice people who care for them properly.
Muffled shout that's no
way to talk to a manager!
What's up? Carole's
in the cupboard again.
Why? He's from the dss. He's come
to take her children away. What?!
Carole, this is
your last chance.
I won't have my centre immobilised
by a lady locked in a cupboard.
Knock it down. Hyaaa!
Just a minute! There are
three small children in there!
What can we do?
Got a better idea?
Tim, it's so unfair! Did
he say she'd get the job?
I could see it on his face. Why?
What's so special about Laura?
She's efficient, popular,
she's done it before...
I can't think(!)
If I was manager, you wouldn't worry
I'd run off because I was pregnant!
Touch wood.
I'd have got things off the ground,
made the place hum. It's so unfair!
And she doesn't hit
people with croquet balls!
I think we have to admit Carole
has defeated us on this occasion.
Linda, take everyone through to
the rest room, please. Yes, mr brittas.
Mr trap, I'll take you to your car.
Thank you for coming. Have a nice day.
I'd better get to my office and do
some packing. I've got lots to do!
Hang on, I'll be
right back! (Tim!)
There's been an... (Do you
mind? We want to get Carole out!)
(There was an
accident with a ball.)
(Deal with it. Just do it
quietly.) (Right, mr brittas.)
(Emergency services?)
What is it? Colin. She
won't come out if you talk!
Ambulance please. He's badly hurt. Come on, Julie.
Someone start up a brass band, why don't you?!
What is it? A head
injury. It's quite serious.
What? Colin's
been hit on the head.
On the head? Well, get a first
aid box, for goodness' sake!
Goodness, what happened?
It was a cricket ball.
Gavin: Two boys were playing
outside. Did you get their names?
They were far away. Can we discuss
this later? Colin should lie down.
In you go!
Watch the cupboard. She
may come out, looking for food.
Well done, Laura.
Tim, papers under his head.
Gavin, get the culprits' names.
Julie, insurance forms.
Colin? Where's Colin?!
You stay there.
Where do you want it?
What? Where shall I put this?
One person unconscious, one in
a cupboard. Forget about croquet!
It's not a life and death matter!
Put it down and help Tim. Yes.
How is he?
Lots of blood, but it's ok.
It's all we can do.
Ok, let's get him
to the ambulance.
Where are you going?
You told ambulances to come to
the back. It was "better for morale".
Come on, get outside, outside.
I don't like this any
more than you do, but...
Carole: Time for music practice.
She tunes guitar if you don't
open up, I'll fetch the police.
It'd be a lot easier if you'd
come out and talk about it.
Please?
Carole and kids: ♪ edelweiss
♪ every morning, you greet me
♪ small and white... ♪
she hasn't come out,
then? Sorry? Carole.
Carole. No.
Mr trap, it looks strange
keeping children in drawers, but...
The singing. What?
Is that the children?
Yes, they always
practise about now.
Grandmother used to sing this song
to me when I was a boy, in salzburg.
Did she?
If my children
could sing like that!
Yes...
Carole, you can
open the door now.
♪ Blossom of snow,
may you bloom and grow
♪ bloom and grow for ever... ♪
sorry, darling. A pair of hooligans
attacked Colin with a cricket ball.
Fortunately, Tim and
Gavin identified them.
Gordon, what's this? What? Ah!
Is this where we're going to
live? The official residence.
You didn't tell me! I
knew how you'd feel.
And this? Another one.
We have two houses?
Three, actually.
All for us? Three houses?
Don't worry. You'll get
help. There are servants.
You never mentioned servants. I
know. I didn't want to burden you.
You get a limousine as well!
It'll be a very
different lifestyle.
Not the happy, carefree
one we had. Never mind!
It's not too late. If you don't want
to go, just say so, and that's it.
I'll return the relocation allowance
and we won't go. End of story.
This is money. But
we don't have to take it.
If you feel we can't manage,
we won't go. I think I'll manage.
There is the kids' education
to worry about. I don't know...
Going abroad will do them good.
And the dog. Kennels. For seven years?
Sell him, then.
You never cease to amaze me.
The things you'll do to support me.
Can I cash it now? If
you want to, my sweet.
Oh, I do, Gordon, I do.
I'm sorry, I'll come back.
It's all right, Laura, I'm going.
Where? Brussels. Can't stop. Got to
make the bank before the shops shut.
What is it? Carole's
been offered a job. A job?
Mr trap wants her to teach his kids
music - £1,000 pay. She can't decide.
I can't believe it! What?
I've made decisions
for her for five years.
If she can't decide between a total stranger and
having her kids cared for by officials, I give up.
I'll tell her that. Before you
go... Take a seat, please.
Now...
I asked to see you earlier
to give you something.
Oh.
Gosh! All this
for me. What is it?
This is my centre,
Laura. And it's all for you.
Confidential staff files, the black
list, the 20-year plan. All yours.
Mr brittas...
I'd like you to be the new manager
of whitbury newtown leisure centre.
It's a wonderful offer, mr
brittas. I hoped you'd think so.
I'm more flattered than I can
say. There's just one problem.
What? I can't accept.
Why not?
I'm going to america.
In five weeks' time.
I haven't told anyone yet,
but I'm expecting a baby,
and Michael wants
him born out there.
So... I'm leaving.
Gavin, got a dead one here.
Ok, I'll get another.
Thanks. Lovely party.
Couldn't leave this job without
celebrating! Can't wait for the wedding.
It's like a dream come true - marrying a man
who owns a brewery. Every woman's fantasy(!)
All I have to do is sign and they
put a couple of kegs in the boot.
You'll have a happy marriage.
What I remember of it!
There's the flat in Brussels, and the
house in meerhaven, which is vast!
Isn't it!
There are servants at weekends.
This place is on lake como.
It's yours too? It's
a hunting lodge.
Our neighbour is queen
Beatrice, when she's not in Holland.
When are you moving?
Gordon goes this month. I'm
staying on to sell the house.
Really? Yes.
Gavin and I are after a place.
Our flat is too small for a manager.
Come round.
Laura.
No hard feelings? Sorry?
About... you know... oh, the
job! No, Gavin. Congratulations.
Thanks. I know we were aiming for
the same... we'd be fools not to admit...
Think nothing of it. The best man
won. That's nice of you to say so.
We'll only survive if we all
pull together. It'll be a challenge.
Can I make a
suggestion? That's it!
I want people to feel they
can chip in at any time!
You should do something
about the keg. Oh!
Hello, everyone.
This is Wilhelm. I'm music teacher
and governess to his children.
Well done!
A wise choice, mr trap.
Von trap - he hasn't used
the title since leaving Austria.
Did the Nazis drive his family out?
How did you know?! A lucky guess.
Let me introduce
Wilhelm's children.
Lottie, who's 10, Herman's 12,
wernan's 13, and
lisel's 16, going on 17.
Crikey! Come and have
a drink, Carole. Wilhelm!
It's funny, isn't it? What?
How they all found a
happy ending. I suppose so.
Gavin is manager and can make Tim a deputy.
Mr brittas goes to Brussels, his wife's happy.
Carole has a family, you've found
yourself a millionaire. Billionaire.
We all got what we
wanted. And you?
Well, as a matter of fact, I had
some rather good news this morning.
Linda! You've been accepted
for theological college!
I'm hoping to be the first woman
archbishop of canterbury. Wonderful!
Stop, everybody! Stop
right there! What is it?
God! There's going to be a terrible
disaster! You will all die unless...
What?
No... no, it's gone again.
Have a drink.
I had it in the taxi. Why on
earth didn't I write it down?
Anything to load, miss? Sorry?
For mr brittas to take
to the ferry. No. Oh, yes.
He might want to take
his croquet set. Right.
How's it going? I wondered if
you'd have time to pop into the party.
Everyone else is
there. This one too, guv?
Is this a terrible
mistake? What?
Brussels - leaving this place.
Well... they're like children. The smallest
problem, and they run to - mr brittas.
What will they do if I'm
not there? They'll manage.
I worry about them.
They're not just numbers on a
pay slip anymore. They're my staff.
You've changed your mind?
Maybe it's best to have them unload
the Van and stick everything back.
You want this back indoors?
Can I say something? Sure.
I know it's difficult, but in any
job you eventually reach a point,
when, however successful
you are, it's time to move on.
I'm not sure this is the time.
I think it is, mr brittas. You have to
go. Europe needs people like you.
You think so?
They have a dream there.
170 million people all marching
together towards a new dawn.
A wonderful dream. Go
to Brussels, mr brittas.
It's made for people like you.
Take it to Brussels, Charlie.