The Brittas Empire (1991–1997): Season 4, Episode 4 - Mr Brittas Changes Trains - full transcript
Gordon is most eager to depart to press his candidacy for a European Comittee on the Leisure Industry at a dinner, but finds his wife Helen -who tells Laura he always drives waiters so furious they throw food at them- has psychosomatically blocked muscles and various staff members are programmed to make wacky responses to certain signals -Colin even drops trou- by a hypnotist. So Gordon asks him to cure Helen, but when he also goes in trance Laura convinces the therapist to temporarily remove his need to change the world...
Member of the European
leisure industry committee!
You were made for it (!)
It's a chance to work with people who'll shape
the leisure industry in the next century.
Deciding gym mat thickness.
It's a great opportunity, Laura. They loved
my cv and I'm down to the final three.
It depends on whether they like
you this evening. There's the worry.
Your suit.
Put it somewhere.
I need some advice on
what to do in restaurants.
About cutlery?
No, no, no. What I
mean is... Mrs brittas.
They want to meet her, too?
She gets confused and nervous in restaurants.
She once blew her nose on a bread roll.
She'll be all right if she
stays calm and relaxed.
I keep telling her that.
"This is important," I say. "It's vital
that you be witty, charming... And relaxed."
That should do it (!)
Who pays for this?
Pardon?
Who pays for these people to come here
and wine and dine prospective candidates?
It comes out of European
funds, I'd imagine. Oh. Why?
It's good our money's well-spent
(!) They have to find the right man.
Sorry I'm late - a queue at the
burns unit. All right, close the door.
What happened?
A problem with a
herbal suppository.
Where were you putting it?
My cat has a gastric problem.
I was treating it
when the phone rang,
and I dropped it
behind the cooker.
The cat?
No, the medication, Laura.
In bending down to retrieve it, I
leaned on a gas ring which was lit.
Colin, this is a
management meeting.
I'm sorry. We're an hour late.
Right.
Have I missed anything?
Yes you have! About three months
ago, I saw an advert in "leisure review".
Must I hear this again,
or can I open the centre?
If you would, Laura.
This advert invited applications
for a very important post.
Is it the European leisure
industry standards committee?
Correct!
We're so proud!
I haven't got the job yet, but if I
do get this post, we'll need to...
I love you. What?
Sorry?
You said something? No, you
said something about this committee.
I was saying that, if I do get
it, you and Laura will need to...
I love you!
Right, what's going on?! Where?
Is this a game? Game? This may
be the most important day of my life.
I need to have a clear head.
I can do without your declarations.
I thought I would have your support.
I'm right behind you.
Ready for the
hordes? Right, Laura.
Back you go.
(Ur-rk.)
Everything all right?
Fine.
(Ur-rk.)
How was last night, then?
It was wonderful.
Such a funny show.
(Ur-rk.)
I've never seen a stage
hypnotist. What did he do?
He has people go on stage and makes them do
funny things. They don't know they're doing it!
(Ur-rk.)
Were you one of the volunteers?
Oh, yes!
(Ur-rk.)
Carole...
Sobbing
are you all right, Colin?
No!
I'm not, actually, to be honest.
Not at all!
What's up?
I was fired!
Why? I have absolutely no idea.
Mr brittas just
told me to get out.
Why?
He said he did not require... Sexual advances
from staff on the most important day of his life!
I think the
pressure's got to him.
You didn't go to the show as well?
Could we discuss the theatre another time?
Don't worry.
We'll clear this up.
Carole.
Don't speak to
anyone until I get back.
Why? (Ur-rk.)
Trust me, Carole, I'll be quick.
Colin!
What now?!
Colin, we need a chat.
I love you.
What have they done to you?
Morning, everybody.
Helen! What?
You're talking with
your jaw closed.
Yes, it's the muscles!
What?
Seized.
So you weren't at the
hypnotist's? I couldn't go like this.
I must see Gordon.
He's upstairs. (Ur-rk.)
I love you!
Don't ask.
It's going to be
one of those days!
This is unbelievable. Have
you tried the heated pad?
Useless.
Suck on that. Thank you.
What causes it? It's a spasm of
the jaw muscles that paralyses them.
Couldn't you ease it apart?
Not without a vice!
I tried.
I won't be able to go.
What?
To the restaurant. But I
told them you'd be there.
But she can't eat.
She can smile!
I'll say you're dieting.
I can't talk like this.
You won't have to. I'll talk.
No!
I've told them you'll
be there. You must go.
Take Julie... what?
..As your wife.
Julie?
He wouldn't like it.
Why would I take Julie?
Her jaw works!
How many pills
have you had? Two?
Six.
All right - the steam room.
Grab an arm. What? Two
hours in a steambox, darling.
No! Put her head in, too.
You went on stage?
Right!
(Ur-rk.)
You don't know?
What? (Ur-rk.)
Never mind. The hypnotist got
Colin to take his trousers off on stage?
Yes! (Ur-rk.)
What about him?
If he hears a bell, he needs
to go to the toilet. (Ur-rk.)
A classy show!
What sort of bell? Any
bell. It was hard on the bus!
So, would this one do?
Don't, it's been
happening all day.
We really missed something!
Is it a bell with
Colin? No, Gavin.
It's a common word. (Ur-rk.)
What?
It's secret. (Ur-rk.)
Go on.
Promise not to embarrass
him. It's two things.
If he hears the word
"need", he says, "I love you".
And...
My wife needs some towels.
Could you give them to Julie?
Does anyone do massage? Massage?
What sort?
My wife has a paralysed jaw.
Sorry.
Linda, the very person.
Can you give my wife a massage?
Nothing complicated - just a relaxation
of the muscles around the neck and face.
Woof!
Er... linda?
Woof?
Why the barking? Woof?
I've always seen you as one of
my more level-headed employees.
It's frankly a disappointment that
you're talking in doggy language.
Woof?
She doesn't know she's
doing it. (Ur-rk.) Well...
What? She doesn't know
she's doing it. (Ur-rk.)
What's wrong with everybody?
Mr brittas.
You should have gone. It's ok.
It's not ok. You don't know what he
tried to do to me. We do not need...
I love you! He's doing it
again! You pervert, get out!
Now what have I done?
Get out! He can't
help it. I know!
He doesn't know he
said it. (Ur-rk.) Woof! Ok!
Julie! Stop her!
She's responding
to a trigger word.
They all went to
a stage hypnotist.
What? A hypnotist.
He's implanted
these suggestions.
Who is he?
Woof!
Thank you, Linda. Can someone
who doesn't bark telephone him, please?
Right away. (Ur-rk.)
It may be fun to you, but my leisure centre has
people barking and taking their trousers down.
"Probably wearing off in 24 hours"
is not good enough, mr silverman.
I want it done now...
Half an hour, thank you.
Thanks, Gavin.
So you didn't go
to this thing? No.
Well, Tim and I belong to...
..A sort of singles club.
We go... To that.
So you can't explain it?
Sorry?
Two things. Why was I
not invited on this outing?
They thought you'd disapprove.
Second, why wasn't I
told so I could cancel it?
Laura, any change?
She's gone wrinkly. No.
Any sign of movement?
It's spread to her neck. Get her home while
she can still bend to fit into the car!
Yes... yes.
You wouldn't be free for dinner?
Sorry? Top restaurant.
Eat as much as you want.
Mr brittas! Gordon. What?
Call me "Gordon".
It'll look better.
You're talking about
your dinner tonight.
I must take someone.
You've seen what she's like.
So it's not for my company (?)
No, no!
You need a partner to get the job. And you
get a night out, which is, perhaps, rare.
It's very hard for a girl to resist
an invitation like that, mr brittas.
Gordon.
He's here.
Who? The hypnotist.
He's arrived.
I'm coming.
Thanks.
Round up all those who were
at the show. Wilco, mr brittas.
Tell them I need... I love you.
I've seen mr brittas.
How is he taking
it? He asked me out.
He says I could
pose as his wife.
Are you going? Well...
Please go.
No, you mustn't.
Promise me you won't.
Why?
He's terrible in restaurants.
It's the food. He
gets it all over him.
He's not a messy eater. He
just gets into fights with waiters.
Happens every time.
The only question is - how
many waiters and what they throw.
Urrh. You all right?
I think it's spreading, Laura. I
can't seem to move my hands.
You will no longer
feel the need...
I love you.
You will not feel the necessity
to obey any of the instructions
that I gave you in
the theatre last night.
You, Colin, will no longer remove your
trousers, or tell people you love them.
You, Linda, will stop...
Aa-ah-ah!
Please come back
later. We're rather busy.
Carry on, please, mr silverman.
You, Linda, will stop barking.
Carole.
You will no longer croak, nor
will you stroke men's bottoms.
That explains it!
Bells, Patrick, will no longer
make you want to go to the lavatory.
And now, as I count back
from five, you will all wake up
filled with a sense of
well-being and good health.
Five - beginning to surface now.
Four - starting to move.
Three - the eyes open.
Two - feeling very good.
And one - wide awake... Now!
My apologies, mr brittas. If there's
anything else... just wait here.
Colin? Yes?
Do you need anything? No thanks.
You don't feel any needs?
I'd like someone
to look at my arm.
Some other time, Colin.
I think that's worked.
-What about Julie?
-Julie? The one that kisses.
-Nothing to do with me.
-I wanted to check out Gavin!
I shall see you later, Julie.
All right, everybody. We've wasted
quite enough time for one morning.
So, you make a living
from this, do you?
Well, partly.
The real work is my
practice, of course,
but the stage show
helps spread the word.
A practice? You mean
like a doctor? Yes.
You mean people pay
for this sort of thing. Why?
I suppose they find it helpful.
Helpful? For what?
Many things.
Nervous conditions,
mostly - trauma, tension...
Tension? Yes,
it's interesting...
Does it work on anyone? Some are
more susceptible, but yes, anyone.
Have you got a
few minutes? Well...
I've got a little job
upstairs for you.
It's all right, he won't hurt you.
It's gone down into her legs now.
He'll just send you to sleep and
put secret commands in your brain.
Don't worry, I'm only
going to talk to you.
You wouldn't know if
he put a cigar out on you!
Mr brittas, this sort of thing
works best on a one-to-one basis.
If you'd like to sit down, I'll see
if I can calm your wife's fears.
Darling.
If you're scared, wave. I can't.
Well... chin up!
Need anything? Sorry?
A watch to swing
before her eyes.
I'll manage.
Why don't we sit
over there? Right.
Mrs brittas.
Hello. Hello.
I want you to concentrate
on the sound of my voice.
You're going to find, as you listen,
that it makes your muscles relax.
It won't. Don't worry.
It'll happen without you knowing -
your subconscious has heard me,
so when I say,
"relax", you'll relax...
Told you.
Lean back, please...
Crash
I think we've found one
of your susceptible ones!
Julie: Is he asleep?
No, just deeply relaxed.
He looks rather happy.
Could I go home,
please? Ok, mrs brittas.
Will you wait for him?
No!
I'll go to the restaurant.
What? Are you sure? Of course.
If I could move my
arms I'd hug you.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Come on, mrs brittas. Thanks.
It's a funny thing, but I feel
quite a lot better already.
Can you do anything to
him when he's like this?
Medical ethics, I'm afraid.
I have this fantasy
where he's different.
Yes.
I shouldn't think it's possible to
change a personality. You can.
I treated a very similar case
recently - my garage manager.
Successfully? Yes. You must make them enjoy the
world as it is, instead of trying to change it.
Of course, I can only do it
with the patient's consent.
Yes...
I'm sure he'd give his consent,
if he only knew he needed help.
Let's give it a whirl, shall we?
I left the towels, Carole.
Ok... you can talk!
I know. It just
suddenly wore off.
The hypnotist did
it. He saved my life!
So you can go to the restaurant?
Gordon's made other arrangements and I
thought it'd only confuse things. Cheerio!
Bye.
-See you tomorrow.
-What?
Your talk for mr brittas.
On menstruation?
To the schoolboys?
Forgot?
Yes, I did, actually.
He's quiet.
Something's worked!
He can't see or hear
us. I thought it was best.
Will he just sit there?
No. I've programmed him to go into
the centre in about... Three seconds.
Coming?
I won't, I'm drained. Of
course, the concentration.
No, it's having a 19-year-old
mistress that does it.
This yours? Who did this, then?
Is this you?
So sorry, mr brittas. I was going
to tidy it. Carole! How can I help?
Get me the staff discipline
file. Yes, mr brittas.
The council bye-laws
and safety rules for minors.
You see, Ben wanted to have a friend round and
it gets so cramped for him in the cupboard.
Right.
You make a platform there and
we'll do a little tunnel over here.
Right.
Carole?
Yes?
Have you any more track?
Anything wrong? He's having a
lovely time, but when will it wear off?
It'll be gone in a
couple of hours.
Oh.
Sorry?
Does it have to? What? Wear off.
Can we leave him like that? Yes.
Absolutely not. It wouldn't
be right. It'd be close.
I know it's tempting,
but... I'll be honest.
He has a dinner
tonight, and I've...
If he could stay like
that for a few hours.
A few hours. Until after dinner.
What time?
Eleven... quarter past.
Twelve. Right.
I'll get him.
Not bad, eh? If only you
ran the railways, mr brittas.
It's better than
a tiny circle. Yes.
Mr silverman wants a
word if you've got a moment.
Okey-doke.
Mr brittas, about this evening.
It's ok, don't panic. Panic?
I'll go alone and say Helen is ill. If
they don't like it, it's their problem.
I wouldn't mind coming. What?
I'd still like to go. You sure?
Yes. I think it might be
an interesting evening.
All the best. Thank
you very much.
Bye-bye.
Enjoy your cabin, Klaus.
Two brandies, please.
That seemed to go well.
Yes.
You didn't say you spoke
French. Well... or German.
I'm not imagining it, am
I? What? It did go well.
Oh, yes!
I enjoyed it, anyway. Good.
Here we are. Thank you.
Thank you.
He's invited us to innsbruck.
Has he? Klaus has a
little cabin in the mountains.
You did tell him I'm not your wife? I did.
He just said Sophie wasn't his wife either!
I think it was soon after that
that they offered me the job.
They didn't!
Congratulations, mr brittas!
Gordon, please.
Congratulations,
Gordon. Thank you.
You don't mind not going to the
night-club? I'm working tomorrow.
Well, drink up and we'll go.
A toast.
Yes?
Here's to success and the
European leisure industry standards...
Oh, no!
What?
Is that the time? Where? Look,
I'm very sorry, but I have to go.
Could I have my coat? What
time is it? Half a minute to midnight!
Oh.
Look, it's been a
lovely evening, really.
Bell tolls
you can't charge that for two brandies!
I could teach three kids to swim for that!
She didn't even drink hers!
Why should I pay when
you'll just pour it back?
Everything all right,
miss? Yes, thank you.
Waiting for someone?
No, I don't think so.
Not any more.
leisure industry committee!
You were made for it (!)
It's a chance to work with people who'll shape
the leisure industry in the next century.
Deciding gym mat thickness.
It's a great opportunity, Laura. They loved
my cv and I'm down to the final three.
It depends on whether they like
you this evening. There's the worry.
Your suit.
Put it somewhere.
I need some advice on
what to do in restaurants.
About cutlery?
No, no, no. What I
mean is... Mrs brittas.
They want to meet her, too?
She gets confused and nervous in restaurants.
She once blew her nose on a bread roll.
She'll be all right if she
stays calm and relaxed.
I keep telling her that.
"This is important," I say. "It's vital
that you be witty, charming... And relaxed."
That should do it (!)
Who pays for this?
Pardon?
Who pays for these people to come here
and wine and dine prospective candidates?
It comes out of European
funds, I'd imagine. Oh. Why?
It's good our money's well-spent
(!) They have to find the right man.
Sorry I'm late - a queue at the
burns unit. All right, close the door.
What happened?
A problem with a
herbal suppository.
Where were you putting it?
My cat has a gastric problem.
I was treating it
when the phone rang,
and I dropped it
behind the cooker.
The cat?
No, the medication, Laura.
In bending down to retrieve it, I
leaned on a gas ring which was lit.
Colin, this is a
management meeting.
I'm sorry. We're an hour late.
Right.
Have I missed anything?
Yes you have! About three months
ago, I saw an advert in "leisure review".
Must I hear this again,
or can I open the centre?
If you would, Laura.
This advert invited applications
for a very important post.
Is it the European leisure
industry standards committee?
Correct!
We're so proud!
I haven't got the job yet, but if I
do get this post, we'll need to...
I love you. What?
Sorry?
You said something? No, you
said something about this committee.
I was saying that, if I do get
it, you and Laura will need to...
I love you!
Right, what's going on?! Where?
Is this a game? Game? This may
be the most important day of my life.
I need to have a clear head.
I can do without your declarations.
I thought I would have your support.
I'm right behind you.
Ready for the
hordes? Right, Laura.
Back you go.
(Ur-rk.)
Everything all right?
Fine.
(Ur-rk.)
How was last night, then?
It was wonderful.
Such a funny show.
(Ur-rk.)
I've never seen a stage
hypnotist. What did he do?
He has people go on stage and makes them do
funny things. They don't know they're doing it!
(Ur-rk.)
Were you one of the volunteers?
Oh, yes!
(Ur-rk.)
Carole...
Sobbing
are you all right, Colin?
No!
I'm not, actually, to be honest.
Not at all!
What's up?
I was fired!
Why? I have absolutely no idea.
Mr brittas just
told me to get out.
Why?
He said he did not require... Sexual advances
from staff on the most important day of his life!
I think the
pressure's got to him.
You didn't go to the show as well?
Could we discuss the theatre another time?
Don't worry.
We'll clear this up.
Carole.
Don't speak to
anyone until I get back.
Why? (Ur-rk.)
Trust me, Carole, I'll be quick.
Colin!
What now?!
Colin, we need a chat.
I love you.
What have they done to you?
Morning, everybody.
Helen! What?
You're talking with
your jaw closed.
Yes, it's the muscles!
What?
Seized.
So you weren't at the
hypnotist's? I couldn't go like this.
I must see Gordon.
He's upstairs. (Ur-rk.)
I love you!
Don't ask.
It's going to be
one of those days!
This is unbelievable. Have
you tried the heated pad?
Useless.
Suck on that. Thank you.
What causes it? It's a spasm of
the jaw muscles that paralyses them.
Couldn't you ease it apart?
Not without a vice!
I tried.
I won't be able to go.
What?
To the restaurant. But I
told them you'd be there.
But she can't eat.
She can smile!
I'll say you're dieting.
I can't talk like this.
You won't have to. I'll talk.
No!
I've told them you'll
be there. You must go.
Take Julie... what?
..As your wife.
Julie?
He wouldn't like it.
Why would I take Julie?
Her jaw works!
How many pills
have you had? Two?
Six.
All right - the steam room.
Grab an arm. What? Two
hours in a steambox, darling.
No! Put her head in, too.
You went on stage?
Right!
(Ur-rk.)
You don't know?
What? (Ur-rk.)
Never mind. The hypnotist got
Colin to take his trousers off on stage?
Yes! (Ur-rk.)
What about him?
If he hears a bell, he needs
to go to the toilet. (Ur-rk.)
A classy show!
What sort of bell? Any
bell. It was hard on the bus!
So, would this one do?
Don't, it's been
happening all day.
We really missed something!
Is it a bell with
Colin? No, Gavin.
It's a common word. (Ur-rk.)
What?
It's secret. (Ur-rk.)
Go on.
Promise not to embarrass
him. It's two things.
If he hears the word
"need", he says, "I love you".
And...
My wife needs some towels.
Could you give them to Julie?
Does anyone do massage? Massage?
What sort?
My wife has a paralysed jaw.
Sorry.
Linda, the very person.
Can you give my wife a massage?
Nothing complicated - just a relaxation
of the muscles around the neck and face.
Woof!
Er... linda?
Woof?
Why the barking? Woof?
I've always seen you as one of
my more level-headed employees.
It's frankly a disappointment that
you're talking in doggy language.
Woof?
She doesn't know she's
doing it. (Ur-rk.) Well...
What? She doesn't know
she's doing it. (Ur-rk.)
What's wrong with everybody?
Mr brittas.
You should have gone. It's ok.
It's not ok. You don't know what he
tried to do to me. We do not need...
I love you! He's doing it
again! You pervert, get out!
Now what have I done?
Get out! He can't
help it. I know!
He doesn't know he
said it. (Ur-rk.) Woof! Ok!
Julie! Stop her!
She's responding
to a trigger word.
They all went to
a stage hypnotist.
What? A hypnotist.
He's implanted
these suggestions.
Who is he?
Woof!
Thank you, Linda. Can someone
who doesn't bark telephone him, please?
Right away. (Ur-rk.)
It may be fun to you, but my leisure centre has
people barking and taking their trousers down.
"Probably wearing off in 24 hours"
is not good enough, mr silverman.
I want it done now...
Half an hour, thank you.
Thanks, Gavin.
So you didn't go
to this thing? No.
Well, Tim and I belong to...
..A sort of singles club.
We go... To that.
So you can't explain it?
Sorry?
Two things. Why was I
not invited on this outing?
They thought you'd disapprove.
Second, why wasn't I
told so I could cancel it?
Laura, any change?
She's gone wrinkly. No.
Any sign of movement?
It's spread to her neck. Get her home while
she can still bend to fit into the car!
Yes... yes.
You wouldn't be free for dinner?
Sorry? Top restaurant.
Eat as much as you want.
Mr brittas! Gordon. What?
Call me "Gordon".
It'll look better.
You're talking about
your dinner tonight.
I must take someone.
You've seen what she's like.
So it's not for my company (?)
No, no!
You need a partner to get the job. And you
get a night out, which is, perhaps, rare.
It's very hard for a girl to resist
an invitation like that, mr brittas.
Gordon.
He's here.
Who? The hypnotist.
He's arrived.
I'm coming.
Thanks.
Round up all those who were
at the show. Wilco, mr brittas.
Tell them I need... I love you.
I've seen mr brittas.
How is he taking
it? He asked me out.
He says I could
pose as his wife.
Are you going? Well...
Please go.
No, you mustn't.
Promise me you won't.
Why?
He's terrible in restaurants.
It's the food. He
gets it all over him.
He's not a messy eater. He
just gets into fights with waiters.
Happens every time.
The only question is - how
many waiters and what they throw.
Urrh. You all right?
I think it's spreading, Laura. I
can't seem to move my hands.
You will no longer
feel the need...
I love you.
You will not feel the necessity
to obey any of the instructions
that I gave you in
the theatre last night.
You, Colin, will no longer remove your
trousers, or tell people you love them.
You, Linda, will stop...
Aa-ah-ah!
Please come back
later. We're rather busy.
Carry on, please, mr silverman.
You, Linda, will stop barking.
Carole.
You will no longer croak, nor
will you stroke men's bottoms.
That explains it!
Bells, Patrick, will no longer
make you want to go to the lavatory.
And now, as I count back
from five, you will all wake up
filled with a sense of
well-being and good health.
Five - beginning to surface now.
Four - starting to move.
Three - the eyes open.
Two - feeling very good.
And one - wide awake... Now!
My apologies, mr brittas. If there's
anything else... just wait here.
Colin? Yes?
Do you need anything? No thanks.
You don't feel any needs?
I'd like someone
to look at my arm.
Some other time, Colin.
I think that's worked.
-What about Julie?
-Julie? The one that kisses.
-Nothing to do with me.
-I wanted to check out Gavin!
I shall see you later, Julie.
All right, everybody. We've wasted
quite enough time for one morning.
So, you make a living
from this, do you?
Well, partly.
The real work is my
practice, of course,
but the stage show
helps spread the word.
A practice? You mean
like a doctor? Yes.
You mean people pay
for this sort of thing. Why?
I suppose they find it helpful.
Helpful? For what?
Many things.
Nervous conditions,
mostly - trauma, tension...
Tension? Yes,
it's interesting...
Does it work on anyone? Some are
more susceptible, but yes, anyone.
Have you got a
few minutes? Well...
I've got a little job
upstairs for you.
It's all right, he won't hurt you.
It's gone down into her legs now.
He'll just send you to sleep and
put secret commands in your brain.
Don't worry, I'm only
going to talk to you.
You wouldn't know if
he put a cigar out on you!
Mr brittas, this sort of thing
works best on a one-to-one basis.
If you'd like to sit down, I'll see
if I can calm your wife's fears.
Darling.
If you're scared, wave. I can't.
Well... chin up!
Need anything? Sorry?
A watch to swing
before her eyes.
I'll manage.
Why don't we sit
over there? Right.
Mrs brittas.
Hello. Hello.
I want you to concentrate
on the sound of my voice.
You're going to find, as you listen,
that it makes your muscles relax.
It won't. Don't worry.
It'll happen without you knowing -
your subconscious has heard me,
so when I say,
"relax", you'll relax...
Told you.
Lean back, please...
Crash
I think we've found one
of your susceptible ones!
Julie: Is he asleep?
No, just deeply relaxed.
He looks rather happy.
Could I go home,
please? Ok, mrs brittas.
Will you wait for him?
No!
I'll go to the restaurant.
What? Are you sure? Of course.
If I could move my
arms I'd hug you.
I'll let you know how it goes.
Come on, mrs brittas. Thanks.
It's a funny thing, but I feel
quite a lot better already.
Can you do anything to
him when he's like this?
Medical ethics, I'm afraid.
I have this fantasy
where he's different.
Yes.
I shouldn't think it's possible to
change a personality. You can.
I treated a very similar case
recently - my garage manager.
Successfully? Yes. You must make them enjoy the
world as it is, instead of trying to change it.
Of course, I can only do it
with the patient's consent.
Yes...
I'm sure he'd give his consent,
if he only knew he needed help.
Let's give it a whirl, shall we?
I left the towels, Carole.
Ok... you can talk!
I know. It just
suddenly wore off.
The hypnotist did
it. He saved my life!
So you can go to the restaurant?
Gordon's made other arrangements and I
thought it'd only confuse things. Cheerio!
Bye.
-See you tomorrow.
-What?
Your talk for mr brittas.
On menstruation?
To the schoolboys?
Forgot?
Yes, I did, actually.
He's quiet.
Something's worked!
He can't see or hear
us. I thought it was best.
Will he just sit there?
No. I've programmed him to go into
the centre in about... Three seconds.
Coming?
I won't, I'm drained. Of
course, the concentration.
No, it's having a 19-year-old
mistress that does it.
This yours? Who did this, then?
Is this you?
So sorry, mr brittas. I was going
to tidy it. Carole! How can I help?
Get me the staff discipline
file. Yes, mr brittas.
The council bye-laws
and safety rules for minors.
You see, Ben wanted to have a friend round and
it gets so cramped for him in the cupboard.
Right.
You make a platform there and
we'll do a little tunnel over here.
Right.
Carole?
Yes?
Have you any more track?
Anything wrong? He's having a
lovely time, but when will it wear off?
It'll be gone in a
couple of hours.
Oh.
Sorry?
Does it have to? What? Wear off.
Can we leave him like that? Yes.
Absolutely not. It wouldn't
be right. It'd be close.
I know it's tempting,
but... I'll be honest.
He has a dinner
tonight, and I've...
If he could stay like
that for a few hours.
A few hours. Until after dinner.
What time?
Eleven... quarter past.
Twelve. Right.
I'll get him.
Not bad, eh? If only you
ran the railways, mr brittas.
It's better than
a tiny circle. Yes.
Mr silverman wants a
word if you've got a moment.
Okey-doke.
Mr brittas, about this evening.
It's ok, don't panic. Panic?
I'll go alone and say Helen is ill. If
they don't like it, it's their problem.
I wouldn't mind coming. What?
I'd still like to go. You sure?
Yes. I think it might be
an interesting evening.
All the best. Thank
you very much.
Bye-bye.
Enjoy your cabin, Klaus.
Two brandies, please.
That seemed to go well.
Yes.
You didn't say you spoke
French. Well... or German.
I'm not imagining it, am
I? What? It did go well.
Oh, yes!
I enjoyed it, anyway. Good.
Here we are. Thank you.
Thank you.
He's invited us to innsbruck.
Has he? Klaus has a
little cabin in the mountains.
You did tell him I'm not your wife? I did.
He just said Sophie wasn't his wife either!
I think it was soon after that
that they offered me the job.
They didn't!
Congratulations, mr brittas!
Gordon, please.
Congratulations,
Gordon. Thank you.
You don't mind not going to the
night-club? I'm working tomorrow.
Well, drink up and we'll go.
A toast.
Yes?
Here's to success and the
European leisure industry standards...
Oh, no!
What?
Is that the time? Where? Look,
I'm very sorry, but I have to go.
Could I have my coat? What
time is it? Half a minute to midnight!
Oh.
Look, it's been a
lovely evening, really.
Bell tolls
you can't charge that for two brandies!
I could teach three kids to swim for that!
She didn't even drink hers!
Why should I pay when
you'll just pour it back?
Everything all right,
miss? Yes, thank you.
Waiting for someone?
No, I don't think so.
Not any more.