The Batman (2004–2008): Season 3, Episode 9 - Cash for Toys - full transcript
Toymaker Cosmo Krank seeks revenge against Bruce Wayne after the billionaire successfully leads a campaign to remove his unsafe toys from store shelves.
New from Krank Co,
the Cosmo Flyer!
Awesome!
With the Cosmo Flyer,
the sky's the limit.
It's up, up and away...
for fim-foobly fun.
I can't think of a toy
more fun for a child
or one more dangerous.
Just ask Timmy Snyder.
Or Reece Jones,
who went on a wild ride
over three counties
before authorities
could save him.
The Cosmo Flyer is
yet another in a long line
of unsafe products
from Krank Co.
The same people who brought us
the Krank-Bots.
And the Zoom-Pets.
Flame-retardant they weren't.
Today, I'm happy to report that,
thanks to the efforts
of Wayne Industries'
Project Safe-T-Net,
the doors
of Gotham-based Krank Co.
have been permanently shut.
You thought my toys
were dangerous before, Wayne?
Krank?
Well, get a load
of the new model.
It's doo-diddly deadly.
Can Bruce come out
and play? No?
Oh, he's buried
under a building?
Aw.
You like playing with toys,
Krank? Try mine.
Broke your toy, boo-hoo.
Refills sold separately.
Whoa, dipsy doodles!
Autopilot on.
I own your weak Bat-butt.
When Krank finds out
you survived, Mr. Wayne,
he's sure to try again.
That's why I'm assigning you
round-the-clock
police protection.
I really don't think
that's necessary.
It's not open for debate,
Mr. Wayne.
I won't allow
Gotham's favorite son
to be harmed on my watch.
Thank you,
Commissioner Gordon.
Let me introduce you
to your shadow.
Cash Tankenson.
The last line of defense
you'll ever need.
Hey, Freddy,
how 'bout some more
of those nachos?
Extra jalapeños this time.
Straight away,
Detective "Shades."
Yo, Wayne,
you're supposed to be
some kind
of billionaire bachelor.
So where's the par-tay?
The night is still young,
detective.
Call me Cash.
'Cause I'm not just
your bodyguard, Wayne.
I'm your wingman.
Yeah!
Cover for me, Alfred.
Time for The Batman
to collar Krank
so we can send
our houseguest home.
Hey, Freddy,
ETA on the nachos?
Do hurry, sir.
Let me guess.
You're not expecting visitors.
Security breach.
Huh?
Special delivery.
No doubt, from Cosmo Krank.
Looks like "the Cos"
don't know
Cash spent a year
on bomb squad.
No sign of a proximity fuse.
Amateur hour.
Someone at the door, Alfred?
Stay back, Wayne.
It's
the Cash Tankenson show now.
"Ding dong,
you're doo-diddly done!"
I don't get it.
Careful, sir.
Freddy's right.
Leave the rough stuff
to the professional.
Who ordered
the knuckle sandwich?
Extra knuckles!
Huh?
Have another serving.
Help!
Ugh! Get it off!
It's payday.
You got him.
Whew. Thanks, Cash.
I owe you one.
Hey, Cash is
as Cash does, man.
Dark night, isn't it?
I take
your meaning, sir.
Uh, Master Bruce has
an early meeting tomorrow.
Allow me to show you
to the guest room.
That's not gonna work, Freddy.
Cash has to keep Wayne
in his sights at all times.
We're roomies, pal.
Awesome.
And we just trashed
a robot, compadre.
How can you be tired?
Cash is pumped
and ready to party.
Get down!
Ah, just doing my job,
Mr. President.
Sorry I'm late, commissioner.
Krank made a second attempt
on Bruce Wayne's life tonight.
I have a man guarding him,
but I could really use
your help.
Let me keep an eye
on Wayne instead.
I can catch Krank in the act.
No, your talents
are best used in the field.
We need to stop Krank...
Before he puts Wayne
in danger again.
I'm on my way
to Krank's factory, Alfred.
I'm hoping to find something
the police missed.
Just buy me more time
if Cash asks after me.
No worries there, sir.
Your wingman is sleeping
like a baby.
Hey, Wayne,
which way to the john?
All right.
Okay, here we go.
Let's see.
Um... occupied?
Oh. Uh, sorry, Freddy.
Huh?
Surprise, Batman!
You must think
Cash is pretty dumb.
Thought you could pull the wool
over Cash's eyes, huh?
That's a negative.
I know where you were.
You were out...
partying.
You got me, Cash.
I don't know
what to say, I...
Without your wingman.
You never, never leave
your wingman.
You were sound asleep.
I didn't want to disturb you.
I don't let
many people in, Wayne.
But Cash has got
feelings too.
Look, Cash...
It's Detective Tankenson.
Only my friends
call me Cash.
From now on, Mr. Wayne,
we do this by the book.
Look, detective,
I am really sorry
I ran out on you,
but I'm just not used to...
Not used to having
a babysitter?
Well, get used to it now.
I'd rather have a wingman,
Detective Tankenson.
My friends
call me Cash.
So, Cash, think we could,
uh, lose these now?
You know, the commish
is kind of jittery
about you being out
in the open for this...
park dedication ceremony.
I refuse to let a madman
dictate how I live my life.
And I'm hoping
Krank tries something
so I can see
the look on his face
when I take him down hard!
Back seat, Freddy.
Cash Tankenson always drives.
Are you certain
this is a good idea, sir?
It's the only way,
Alfred.
If I don't let
Krank get to Bruce,
The Batman
doesn't get to Krank.
It's Krank! Look out!
How 'bout we try on a pair
of Cash Tankenson size-13's?
My toy.
Oh. Uh, sorry, kid.
Little help.
Wayne?
Wayne!
Hey, Bruce Wayne!
Wanna go for a spin?
Come and get me, Krank.
Wayne!
Help!
Help! Help!
Wayne!
Drop Wayne
or Cash drops you!
Whoo-hoo-hee-hee!
Sorry, Cash, have to rely
on another wingman.
Police!
I'm commandeering
this vehicle.
No one shakes
Cash Tankenson.
Welcome to Krankytown, Wayne.
The playland children
will never get to enjoy,
all because of you!
Maybe my toys
weren't the safest,
but they were
fim-foobly fun.
And now you get
to join my collection.
A little dip in my river
of molten plastic
and voilà,
my very own
limited edition Bruce Wayne
non-action figure.
What? Where's Wayne?
Safely on his way home.
Oof!
Time to put your toys away.
Freeze, toy geek!
The Batman?
Uh, where's Wayne?
Safely on his way home,
apparently. But not for long.
With both of you
out of the way for good,
who will protect Wayne, hm?
Zoom-Pets now come
with extreme mangling action.
Here, kitty-kitty.
Catnip time.
Gotcha!
Who's got who?
Oh, no.
Whoa!
New from Krank Co,
Battle-Damaged Detective.
Oh, Batman.
Dipsy doodles?
Come on now, you can't
turn Cash into a candle.
I-I got my whole life
ahead of me.
Who's gon...? Who's gonna care
for my grandma?!
Huh? Wha...?
I'm done playing nice,
Batman.
I...
Where...? Where...?
Where's my remote?
Here's why your toys
need warning labels.
Some of this?
Let's go. Wha...?
No. What...?
What are you doing?
No, Zoom-Pets,
you can't do this!
I created you!
Uh, about the whole
Cash-begging-for-his-life thing,
uh, that never happened,
right?
Detective, your assignment was
to protect Bruce Wayne.
How do you explain
Krank snatching him
from right under
your nose?
And where is Wayne?
Do you even know?
Well, he's, uh, safely
on his way home?
Actually, the detective had
my back, commissioner.
Cash is
as Cash does, sir.
I want your report on my desk
first thing in the morning.
Hey, Wayne's a spoiled rich kid,
but you, Bats, you're all right.
You need a wingman?
Hey!
That's cool.
Cash prefers working alone.
the Cosmo Flyer!
Awesome!
With the Cosmo Flyer,
the sky's the limit.
It's up, up and away...
for fim-foobly fun.
I can't think of a toy
more fun for a child
or one more dangerous.
Just ask Timmy Snyder.
Or Reece Jones,
who went on a wild ride
over three counties
before authorities
could save him.
The Cosmo Flyer is
yet another in a long line
of unsafe products
from Krank Co.
The same people who brought us
the Krank-Bots.
And the Zoom-Pets.
Flame-retardant they weren't.
Today, I'm happy to report that,
thanks to the efforts
of Wayne Industries'
Project Safe-T-Net,
the doors
of Gotham-based Krank Co.
have been permanently shut.
You thought my toys
were dangerous before, Wayne?
Krank?
Well, get a load
of the new model.
It's doo-diddly deadly.
Can Bruce come out
and play? No?
Oh, he's buried
under a building?
Aw.
You like playing with toys,
Krank? Try mine.
Broke your toy, boo-hoo.
Refills sold separately.
Whoa, dipsy doodles!
Autopilot on.
I own your weak Bat-butt.
When Krank finds out
you survived, Mr. Wayne,
he's sure to try again.
That's why I'm assigning you
round-the-clock
police protection.
I really don't think
that's necessary.
It's not open for debate,
Mr. Wayne.
I won't allow
Gotham's favorite son
to be harmed on my watch.
Thank you,
Commissioner Gordon.
Let me introduce you
to your shadow.
Cash Tankenson.
The last line of defense
you'll ever need.
Hey, Freddy,
how 'bout some more
of those nachos?
Extra jalapeños this time.
Straight away,
Detective "Shades."
Yo, Wayne,
you're supposed to be
some kind
of billionaire bachelor.
So where's the par-tay?
The night is still young,
detective.
Call me Cash.
'Cause I'm not just
your bodyguard, Wayne.
I'm your wingman.
Yeah!
Cover for me, Alfred.
Time for The Batman
to collar Krank
so we can send
our houseguest home.
Hey, Freddy,
ETA on the nachos?
Do hurry, sir.
Let me guess.
You're not expecting visitors.
Security breach.
Huh?
Special delivery.
No doubt, from Cosmo Krank.
Looks like "the Cos"
don't know
Cash spent a year
on bomb squad.
No sign of a proximity fuse.
Amateur hour.
Someone at the door, Alfred?
Stay back, Wayne.
It's
the Cash Tankenson show now.
"Ding dong,
you're doo-diddly done!"
I don't get it.
Careful, sir.
Freddy's right.
Leave the rough stuff
to the professional.
Who ordered
the knuckle sandwich?
Extra knuckles!
Huh?
Have another serving.
Help!
Ugh! Get it off!
It's payday.
You got him.
Whew. Thanks, Cash.
I owe you one.
Hey, Cash is
as Cash does, man.
Dark night, isn't it?
I take
your meaning, sir.
Uh, Master Bruce has
an early meeting tomorrow.
Allow me to show you
to the guest room.
That's not gonna work, Freddy.
Cash has to keep Wayne
in his sights at all times.
We're roomies, pal.
Awesome.
And we just trashed
a robot, compadre.
How can you be tired?
Cash is pumped
and ready to party.
Get down!
Ah, just doing my job,
Mr. President.
Sorry I'm late, commissioner.
Krank made a second attempt
on Bruce Wayne's life tonight.
I have a man guarding him,
but I could really use
your help.
Let me keep an eye
on Wayne instead.
I can catch Krank in the act.
No, your talents
are best used in the field.
We need to stop Krank...
Before he puts Wayne
in danger again.
I'm on my way
to Krank's factory, Alfred.
I'm hoping to find something
the police missed.
Just buy me more time
if Cash asks after me.
No worries there, sir.
Your wingman is sleeping
like a baby.
Hey, Wayne,
which way to the john?
All right.
Okay, here we go.
Let's see.
Um... occupied?
Oh. Uh, sorry, Freddy.
Huh?
Surprise, Batman!
You must think
Cash is pretty dumb.
Thought you could pull the wool
over Cash's eyes, huh?
That's a negative.
I know where you were.
You were out...
partying.
You got me, Cash.
I don't know
what to say, I...
Without your wingman.
You never, never leave
your wingman.
You were sound asleep.
I didn't want to disturb you.
I don't let
many people in, Wayne.
But Cash has got
feelings too.
Look, Cash...
It's Detective Tankenson.
Only my friends
call me Cash.
From now on, Mr. Wayne,
we do this by the book.
Look, detective,
I am really sorry
I ran out on you,
but I'm just not used to...
Not used to having
a babysitter?
Well, get used to it now.
I'd rather have a wingman,
Detective Tankenson.
My friends
call me Cash.
So, Cash, think we could,
uh, lose these now?
You know, the commish
is kind of jittery
about you being out
in the open for this...
park dedication ceremony.
I refuse to let a madman
dictate how I live my life.
And I'm hoping
Krank tries something
so I can see
the look on his face
when I take him down hard!
Back seat, Freddy.
Cash Tankenson always drives.
Are you certain
this is a good idea, sir?
It's the only way,
Alfred.
If I don't let
Krank get to Bruce,
The Batman
doesn't get to Krank.
It's Krank! Look out!
How 'bout we try on a pair
of Cash Tankenson size-13's?
My toy.
Oh. Uh, sorry, kid.
Little help.
Wayne?
Wayne!
Hey, Bruce Wayne!
Wanna go for a spin?
Come and get me, Krank.
Wayne!
Help!
Help! Help!
Wayne!
Drop Wayne
or Cash drops you!
Whoo-hoo-hee-hee!
Sorry, Cash, have to rely
on another wingman.
Police!
I'm commandeering
this vehicle.
No one shakes
Cash Tankenson.
Welcome to Krankytown, Wayne.
The playland children
will never get to enjoy,
all because of you!
Maybe my toys
weren't the safest,
but they were
fim-foobly fun.
And now you get
to join my collection.
A little dip in my river
of molten plastic
and voilà,
my very own
limited edition Bruce Wayne
non-action figure.
What? Where's Wayne?
Safely on his way home.
Oof!
Time to put your toys away.
Freeze, toy geek!
The Batman?
Uh, where's Wayne?
Safely on his way home,
apparently. But not for long.
With both of you
out of the way for good,
who will protect Wayne, hm?
Zoom-Pets now come
with extreme mangling action.
Here, kitty-kitty.
Catnip time.
Gotcha!
Who's got who?
Oh, no.
Whoa!
New from Krank Co,
Battle-Damaged Detective.
Oh, Batman.
Dipsy doodles?
Come on now, you can't
turn Cash into a candle.
I-I got my whole life
ahead of me.
Who's gon...? Who's gonna care
for my grandma?!
Huh? Wha...?
I'm done playing nice,
Batman.
I...
Where...? Where...?
Where's my remote?
Here's why your toys
need warning labels.
Some of this?
Let's go. Wha...?
No. What...?
What are you doing?
No, Zoom-Pets,
you can't do this!
I created you!
Uh, about the whole
Cash-begging-for-his-life thing,
uh, that never happened,
right?
Detective, your assignment was
to protect Bruce Wayne.
How do you explain
Krank snatching him
from right under
your nose?
And where is Wayne?
Do you even know?
Well, he's, uh, safely
on his way home?
Actually, the detective had
my back, commissioner.
Cash is
as Cash does, sir.
I want your report on my desk
first thing in the morning.
Hey, Wayne's a spoiled rich kid,
but you, Bats, you're all right.
You need a wingman?
Hey!
That's cool.
Cash prefers working alone.