The Awesomes (2013–2015): Season 3, Episode 7 - The Awesomes Reloaded - full transcript

Previously on The Awesomes:

With the Awesomes gone,

I can finally
unleash my full powers

and no one will
ever suspect a thing.

Is there a new team
in place already?

Yeah, your dad
said he had people

on something
called "speed dial."

Old folk talk,
right, nice bunch.

We don't need
fancy headquarters

and expensive equipment
to be superheroes.

We'll help people
who come to us.



We'll be the Awesomes For Hire.

♪

Prock, I'm pregnant.

We're having a baby.

(grunts)

♪

Good news, Mr. Hughley.

Your dumpster
wasn't haunted.

It was just a raccoon.

I think he likes me.

He does not like you.

What about the haunted freezer?

The baying you heard

was just air in
your radiator pipes.



Well, it could have been air,

or it could have been
a ghost whisper.

-Don't.
-And--and--and what about

the werewolf
in my office?

That was your wife.

She was trying to
spice up your love life

through roleplay.

And I would have gotten
away with it, too,

if it wasn't for you ...

You're a kooky old bat,
but I dig your moxie.

So if we could
just settle up.

So how are we
doing this week?

Good enough to make
the next payment on the van.

Why are we spelling it
"Oowesomes" again?

Because Mr. Awesome
threatened to sue if we didn't.

Man, what's up
with your dad, Prock?

Look, he's running
for president, all right?

He needs to be extra careful.

Yeah, guys;
also, he's-a-dick.

Sorry, I got something
caught in my throat.

He's a dick.

(murmur of agreement)

♪

I'm sorry the team's
being hard on your dad.

It's just, you know,

he suspended them
and everything.

I know, and hey,
are you sure

you're up for all this?

I mean, you are pregnant now.

I'm not having the
baby tomorrow, Prock.

Still, you should not be

getting so close
to werewolves.

Not a werewolf,
a pervy old lady.

And I have no intention
of sitting on the sidelines

for the next nine months.

I'm a superhero.

Heh, would be nice, though.

-What?
-You know,

havin' a normal family,

not havin' to
save the world

from evil all the time.

Do you really think
you could give this up?

It's all you've
ever wanted to do.

It's all I've
ever wanted to do.

That's my point,
look at our families.

They're both so screwed up

it's hard not to think
the superpower part

had something
to do with it.

Hey, all families
are screwed up,

and besides,

we both turned out okay.

If we're smart, we can
be parents and heroes.

♪

-What's all this?
-Just a routine fumigation.

Was called in by, uh,

Jill Stein Awesome Kaplan.

Weird Mom wouldn't tell me.

Anyway, you're
gonna want to grab

whatever stuff you need.

Your mom booked you
rooms at the hotel.

♪

Something is not right about--

Look out, everybody!

♪

(groans)

(grunting)

♪

(gasps)

♪

Look who's up.

I gotta run to the station,

but I'll be home by seven.

And don't you dare
cook anything.

I'll pick dinner
up on the way home.

One more thing.

Don't we have
the best life?

♪

♪ This feels
awesome ♪

♪ This feels awesome ♪

♪ Yeah, this feels awesome ♪

♪

♪ Yeah, this feels awesome ♪

♪ This feels awesome ♪

♪ This feels
awesome ♪

♪ This feels so awesome ♪♪

♪

(whistling)

♪

That's a fine whistle, Sheriff.

Well, thank you, Jake.

♪

So the 300s are
social sciences,

and the 380s
contain transportation,

and 385 is where
you find trains,

but you might also want
to look in the 600s,

which are technology,

and then into the
620s for engineering,

and finally to the 625,

which would have
information on railroads.

So what kind of train book
are you lookin' for exactly?

Choo choo train book?

That would be in
the children's section.

Follow me.

Good morning, Connie.

Morning, Sheriff.

Have that book
back in two weeks

or it's a nickel a day.

I don't have no nickels.

Well, if you're late,
the Sheriff will arrest you.

I'm not going to arrest you.

What, it felt a little harsh.

Harsh is an unreturned book.

What can I do for you?

Thought I should grab
a book on parenting.

Smart; how's she doin'?

Gettin' big
and feelin' great.

Good for her.

-Here you go.
-What do you recommend?

Well, they're all good.

Of course one of
them just might have

that integral
piece of information

that helps you
raise a healthy child.

♪

Ugh, your arms and legs

are wobbling all
over the place.

Here's my impression
of you guys.

(making mocking noises)

You gotta be
more aerodynamic.

And I should know,
I'm the only

five time state champion
of the hundred meters.

That's because most people
graduate in four years.

I still won the races.

Uh oh, it's the cops.

Ready, set.

(blows whistle)

So how are the fellas
lookin' this year, coach?

Well, we were the
favorites to win state,

but our all star runner
just quit the team.

Oh no, why is that?

He discovered girls.

♪

(starting engine)

♪

Morning, Sheriff.

Morning, Coach.

Hey, aren't you
supposed to be in school

right now, young man?

I just took all my finals.

The school year
just started.

I know.

Tim's, like, crazy smart.

Tim, tell them the
two kinds of mirrors.

Nah, I don't want to.

Oh, please, Tim, tell 'em!

Convex and concave.

(squealing and giggling)

Oh my God,
he is so hot.

(laughs)

Laters!

He's pretty freakin' cool.

So cool, right?

If you can imagine it,

you can paint it.

I'm gonna put some
trees over here.

Hello trees.

And then why not put
some mountains over here?

Hello mountains.

And now let's put
in the sheriff.

-Hello Sheriff.
-Hello.

(gasping)

You see, everyone,
I imagined the sheriff

and now here he is.

If it's in your imagination,

painting can make it real.

Usually just on the canvas.

That's right, what just
happened here was bananas.

Okay, now get to work.

I'll be right back
to check on you.

♪

Hey, why are
all the portraits

of your mother purple?

It is the color of royalty,

and my mama is a queen,

and she's also my muse,

and most importantly,
she's my mama.

Now I think you're
gonna like this.

-I love it.
-Thank you.

In the past, I've waited
for the baby to be born,

but then I realized
all babies just look like

little blobs of goo,
so I finished it early.

-Um, thank you?
-My pleasure.

And, uh, you wouldn't mind

doin' somethin' for me?

I got this parking
ticket yesterday.

You were parked
in a 15 minute spot

for 2 hours.

What, I had a foot
massage that ran long.

-Two hours long?
-You're tellin' me

you don't like
gettin' your feet rubbed?

That's all I have to do,
just rip up a ticket?

Now don't you go
tellin' anyone.

Oh, I won't, Sheriff.

I won't.

This kid looks strong.

He's gonna be a
regular Charles Atlas.

-Who?
-Maybe Jack LaLanne?

You mean someone
like Liam Hemsworth?

I don't know Lena Hemsworth,

but this kid is aces.

We're almost
the same age, doc.

I never understand
why your references

are so much older than mine.

I'm an old soul, I guess.

Now, any problems?

No, it's just, well,

sometimes none of this
seems real, you know?

It's hard to
wrap the mind

around the
miracle of birth,

but I assure you
it is very real.

It's not that,
it's--nevermind.

Okay, see you
in two weeks.

And remember,
only one pack a day.

I don't smoke.

No wonder you're so nervous.

See you soon.

Night, fellas.

How are you always
done with work before me?

Because there isn't
any crime in this town.

Helpin' two old ladies
across the street

in the same day is
as busy as it gets.

And that doesn't bother you?

When we were kids,
all you wanted

to do was save the world.

Heh, I guess I figured
out what's important--

friends, family, and
stayin' out of harm's way.

How did we get so lucky?

You mean to cheat
so much in high school

and never get caught?

I didn't cheat
in high school.

Well, I cheated
off of you,

so you were complicit.

-Good word.
-They say it

on The People's Court
all the time,

but I have no idea
what it means.

I meant how did
we get so lucky

to have such
perfect lives?

It almost seems too perfect.

Well, who knows?

Maybe none of this is real

and someone has hooked us up

to a bunch of weird machines

and is studying us.

♪

(laughing)

♪

♪

Hey, Professor Neuromancer,

why are we doing this again?

We have a very
special client,

a high-end client.

Very hush-hush.

"Hush-hush"?

Why didn't you say so?

That's more than enough, Eric.

Yeah, sorry.

♪

Okay, it's real.

Everything is real.

You're being
crazy, Katherine.

Hello, my love.

Hey, what happened?

I just dropped
a mug, it's fine.

Aw, you're tired.

I told you you're
doing too much.

You need to relax more.

I feel like
I'm too relaxed,

like I'm letting
my guard down somehow.

Letting your guard down?

Honey, you have
nothing to worry about.

Is she on to us?

Even if she is,
who will believe her?

(chuckling)

Besides, we only have
to keep them in this world

long enough to download
their brainwaves.

Do we have to sit
here and watch?

Do you have somewhere
else to be, Eric?

I wouldn't mind
going to lunch.

Oh, that does sound good.

And it's not like anyone

is going to
walk into a house

that's being fumigated.

(laughing)

A party tent?

How come I didn't
get an invitation?

Hello?

This party is on the hook,

AKA it sucks.

I know, I'll call the New
Awesomes to liven it up,

thus saving Prock the
embarrassment of a dud party.

Heh, I am a good friend to him.

Hey, it's P-Man.

Want to round up the team
and save a lame party?

-On it!
-Great.

What's this?

An Awesomes video game?

It's about damn time.

Hm, which character
should I play?

Larry the Landlord,
he looks good.

Now to choose a weapon.

These weapons stink.

I guess, hammer.

Hammer, hammer, hammer!

Okay, figured
out the controls.

Now for my mission.

Collect the rent.

Jump, jump.

(sounds of impact)

Hammer smash.

Jump, hammer, hammer.

(knocking)

Can I help you?

I'm Larry the Landlord

here to collect the rent.

Oh, okay, I'm gonna
be a little late

on the rent this month.

As usual.

Ow, okay, I'll
get you the rent.

Your rent will
be 5000 dollars.

Five thousand dollars?

Ah, man, the rent
is too damn high.

Ho-ho, I bet
these paintings

are worth a lot of points.

Mama, no, wait,
wait, wait, wait!

I'll give you the money.

(whistling)

♪ Countin' my money ♪

♪ Me and my hammer ♪♪

-I'm here for the rent.
-Rent?

This is a public building.

We don't pay rent.

Then I will take
these books.

Those aren't books,
they're encyclopedias,

and they do not
leave the library.

♪

Mother ...!

Walking blows.

I need wheels.

(beeping)

♪

So you've never seen
this landlord before?

-No.
-And he said the rent here...

-...is how much?
-Five thousand dollars.

-That's too damn high.
-That's what I said.

Huh, people don't do things
like this in our town.

-You're gonna need a gun.
-Hey,

there's never been
a gun in this town

and there's
never gonna be.

Not on my watch.

♪

Why did the chicken
cross the road?

-Why?
-He didn't.

He was already on
the other side, too.

I don't get it.

It's a quantum mechanics joke.

Oh.

I know.

Yeah.

Hey, what do you want?

I'm repossessing your car

and your shake
for energy points.

Now run along.

You girls like muscles?

Um, I guess so.

Those girls are
in high school.

Ow!

♪

You need a gun.

No guns.

♪

(tires squealing)

Ooh, I'm gonna
get my hair did.

♪

(knocking)

Excuse me,
who's in charge here?

-I am.
-That's funny, Muscleman.

I was gonna say I was.

Muscleman?

First of all, thank you
for the compliment.

Second of all, I don't think
you want to mess with us.

(murmuring)

Look out, boys,
he has a hammer.

-That's enough.
-Problem, officer?

It's sheriff,
and yes, problem.

We don't take
kindly to people

harassing our citizens.

Whom have I harassed?

It's all in the game.

Oh, this isn't a game.

♪

(beeping)

♪

I must be on the highest
difficulty setting

if I can't be Prock.

-Prock?
-I'm gonna go

to the bathroom.

(prolonged deep vocal sound)

Is he going right now?

I don't know, just help
me get him in the car.

♪

This game stinks.

I've been in this
cell for an hour.

It's not a game,
and you're stayin'

in that cell
until you calm down.

They've programmed
this Prock perfectly.

-You guys made it.
-What's this?

It's a video game.

Now put your helmets on.

I need you to break
me out of jail.

(prolonged deep vocal sound)

(beeping)

Well, we should get back.

I have to make sure
nothing happens to them.

Our client has made
that very clear.

Right, Mr. "Hush-Hush."

Eric, I swear to
God with this tone.

I'm sorry, but it's
not like anything

can happen to them, right?

They're safe in
the simulation.

Yes, as long
as the Awesomes

don't die in
the simulation.

If they die in
the simulation,

they die in real life.

That's why all
the guns are locked.

These weapons suck.

Yeah, the guns are
locked, you need a code.

-Codebreaker!
-On it.

I was thinkin'
I'd head home.

Okay, Morris,
I've got this covered.

Guns!

Morris!

♪

Katherine.

I mean, I was worried,

but then Sheriff
Jeremy showed up.

Ain't no hammer
wieldin' maniac

gonna stop our sheriff.

(screaming)

Oh, hi, Mrs. Whitaker.

(grunts)

♪

(screams)

(switches radio to rock)

♪

That's not where
those books go.

This is nonfiction.

Not the card catalogue!

You're just shooting
people and destroying stuff.

What are you talking about?

This is the best.

Thanks, Silent But Deadly.

(shooting)

Can I call you SBD?

(shooting)

SBD, sometimes
it feels like

you're the only one
of these New Awesomes

that I can have a
real conversation with.

Can I please have
one of the controllers?

Wait your turn!

(prolonged deep vocal sound)

♪

Honey, pack your things.

We have to leave town.

What--what are you
all doing here?

They came to help.

We went to the police
station but you were gone.

Figured you came here
to check on Katherine.

Y'all, the town
is under siege.

That's great that
you want to help,

but we're outgunned,
and by that I mean

they have guns
and we don't.

We have to get out of here.

This is my town

and I'm not leaving.

Me neither.

And if you think I'm gonna...

(prolonged deep vocal sound)

♪

Harry, are you okay?

What happened to him?

♪

(urinating)

♪

(yawning)

Cool.

♪

...run away like
some scaredy cat,

you're nuts.

All right.

We're all looking
to you, Jeremy.

I'm sorry,
but I'm not a hero.

Are we not gonna talk about

what just happened to Harry?

-Jump, jump.
-I already paid you.

I want to apologize for the
way I was playing the game.

It wasn't right to hit
people with hammers.

(prolonged deep vocal sound)

(grunting)

There are things more
important in life than rent,

like being part
of a community,

and that's something these

New Awesomes don't understand.

What are you talking about?

(repeated strikes)

I don't want them to
win this dumb video game.

I want you to win,
so give 'em hell, Impresario.

-Who?
-Give 'em hell, Frantic.

-What?
-Give 'em hell, Hotwire.

♪

(prolonged deep vocal sound)

Cut it out.

You are a hero.

We all are, trust me.

I don't want to be a hero.

I want to be a father.

Be both.

♪

Well, if we're gonna
stay and fight,

we need a plan.

(prolonged deep vocal sound)

Everyone is dead.

Why haven't we moved
on to the next level?

♪

Do you think this will work?

Before Larry's dumb brain died,

he said "video game."

I realized that's how
they've been acting,

like characters
in a video game.

And thanks to a childhood
ridden with asthma,

I know a thing or
two about video games.

♪

Sheriff said each level
ends with a big boss,

and I might have somethin'

that will do just the trick.

Oh, that'll more
than do the trick.

♪

And it's ready to blow?

We were supposed
to detonate tomorrow.

Sounds good.

♪

(beeping)

♪

You have to get them
to the construction site.

But they got guns.

Hey, you're a five time
state champ, right?

And it would have been six

if I hadn't pulled my hamstring

in my second sophomore year.

You were in high
school for six years?

That's not important--
okay, go, and remember,

Tim is gonna provide cover.

Over here!

After him!

Woohoo!

♪

Let's party!

♪

(shattering)

(beeping)

Ah!

♪

That's the big boss.

Let's get her.

♪

-What the?
-Let's check upstairs.

Now, Harry!

♪

What happened?

The wire must have
been disconnected.

I'm sorry, everyone.

They're gonna be out soon,

and then we're toast.

I'm going in.

No, Jeremy,
you can't.

It's what I have to do.

I'm sorry.

♪

-Ah!
-Hey!

♪

(explosion)

No!

Jeremy!

Killed on the first level,

are you kidding me?

This game is the worst.

Let us know when you
get a better game,

Perfect Man.

Thanks for wastin' our time.

(chuckles)

We did it, SBD.

-We did what?
-Uh, nothing.

Let's get out of here.

(screaming)

(sobbing)

♪

You did it, Jeremy.

You did it.

(coughing)

We all did it.

(alarm blaring)

I can't believe you
got two desserts.

Good for you, Eric.

Well, now I have
one for later.

Oh, ...!

(alarm blaring)

(powering down)

♪

Impresario, you were
takin' a nap, too?

(yawning)

Yeah, but I don't
remember goin' to sleep.

♪

And everything went smoothly?

Except when Prock
almost died...

Up-up-up-up-up,
Eric, shut your mouth.

Yes, and now you have it,

the brain scans of
each former Awesome,

including their weaknesses.

Birds?

Yeah, he's afraid of birds.

(sighs)

What the hell am I
supposed to do with this?

I can't use any of it.

Pregnant?

Me, I'm his weakness?

What does that even mean?

It means that all he's
ever wanted his whole life

is your approval.

It drives everything he does

and ever has done,

and blinds him
to everything else

that he cares about.

He will do anything
if he thinks

it will make you proud.

Anything.

♪

(maniacal laughter)

♪

♪ How am I supposed
to know that you're high

if you won't
let me touch you ♪

♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ How am I supposed
to know that you're high

if you won't even dance ♪

♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ How am I supposed
to know that you're high

if you won't
even dance ♪

♪ Yeah, you won't
even dance ♪♪

♪

♪