The Awesomes (2013–2015): Season 3, Episode 2 - Villain-Tine's Day - full transcript
Valentines Day is ruined when Villain Tine steals all the roses in the world. Hotwire's Metal Fella suit goes rogue, and Muscleman faces the wrath of a jilted lover. The public looks to Mr. Awesome to fix the Awesomes' mess.
(alarm blaring)
♪
Dad?
Welcome home.
Stop; My dad is back--
My dad is back!
Okay, I gotta show him
I've done a good job
while he was gone, and I have,
and he will see that.
But the most important
thing is to be cool,
so be cool,
be cool, be cool.
Sir, I'm so happy you're
black--back--you're back.
Well, it's great
to see you too.
(bones crunching)
Now, aren't you gonna introduce
me to all your friends?
Oh right,
what am I doing?
Dad, these are
the new Awesomes.
-You know Muscleman, of course.
-Harry.
-How's your father?
-He's good, Mr. A.
-This is Impresario.
-It's a pleasure, sir.
-Frantic and Sumo.
-Howdy.
I turn into
a giant sumo wrestler.
-I'm not always a little kid.
-Wonderful.
Concierge used to be
a secretary here,
but now she's
a full member of the team.
I remember you,
Concierge.
Great to see you.
Do these gams ring
a bell, old friend--Ha!
Ho-ho-ho, if memory serves,
they rang the bell
of many a villain
back in the day.
Hi Frank.
Lookin' good,
Arlene.
Perfect Man,
how are ya?
Good--I'm much less
of a dick these days.
And if it isn't
Katherine Malocchio.
You have your
mother's eyes.
And that's my team--
I mean our team.
That's the Awesomes.
Well, I just
want to say
how proud I am
of what you,
what all of you have
accomplished here.
You've done the name proud.
(bashful murmuring)
I want all of
you to know
that I'm only back here
as your guest.
Maybe I can help around
the Mountain a little,
sweep up if
you'll let me,
and maybe you
wouldn't mind some
occasional advice
from an old man.
Oh, great--
how many credit cards
is too many credit cards?
Space is
a lonely place.
It makes a man realize
that the most important
thing is family,
and the Awesomes
is my family.
Dad, I'm so glad
to hear that.
I have so many things
I want to ask you.
And I'll be happy to answer,
but this old superhero
is pretty tired.
I'm still on space time,
so it's 3 AM for me.
-I'm gonna turn in.
-Good night, Mr. A!
Sweet dreams.
♪
♪
(humming)
♪
Dammit, a slide show.
"This Superhero
Turned into a Villain.
Find Out How."
What--This article has nothing
to do with the headline.
I hate Upworthy.
Hey, now what's this?
♪
(ding of email)
"Frantic would like to add you
to his professional network
on LinkedIn."
Can he tell if I don't?
What do I care,
I'm evil.
... that.
♪
♪ This feels
awesome ♪
♪ This feels awesome ♪
♪ Yeah, this feels awesome ♪
♪
♪ Yeah, this feels awesome ♪
♪ This feels awesome ♪
♪ This feels
awesome ♪
♪ This feels so awesome ♪♪
♪
(beeping)
♪
Okay, Malocchio,
you get back to earth
and stop Mr. Awesome
before it's too late, eh?
Hm.
Where's the bathroom
on this thing?
(pressure release)
(sound of urinating)
This is fun!
Like that movie Gravity.
I like that flick,
although I did fall asleep
about five minutes in.
I wonder what happened.
I bet that chick
hooked up
with George Clooney.
(zipping sound)
Okay, that
can't be good.
♪
He was actually proud.
Hard to even process
what that feels like.
You know, this is turning out
to be a pretty good year.
My dad finally
appreciates me,
I get to be with
the love of my life.
You're okay with me
moving in, right?
Are you kidding--
Having you here is the best.
With that said,
your Metal Fella suit
does kind of take up
a lot of the closet space.
Yeah, I miss that suit.
I should take it out
for a spin sometime.
Oh, I wouldn't mind that--
If I'm being honest,
it turns me on a little;
Not a lot of women
can pull off the vigilante
metal suit look.
Aw, you're sweet.
No, seriously,
it looks great on you.
(kissing sounds)
♪
(zapping)
♪
I can't believe
it's Valentine's Day
and we get to work
for the actual Mr. Awesome.
Well, you're not
working for him.
-I'm still the leader.
-Aw!
So Prock, first
Valentine's Day with Hotwire.
What's the plan?
Well, I got reservations
at the most exclusive
restaurant in town.
The Arby's in the mall--
Do you know Mr. Arby?
Oh, his head must be so big
to fit in that giant hat.
It's not Arby's, and it won't
just be dinner and flowers.
I'm doing a whole day
with fun, romantic things
planned every hour.
You're a good boyfriend, Prock.
When I was
dating Hotwire,
I always forgot
Valentine's Day.
Well, I guess some of us
understand women
a little better--
But I'll never forget
the anniversary
of the first time
we made love
for seven hours straight.
February 14th.
Valentine's Day
is the worst.
I have to write a card
to everyone in my class.
Do you know how embarrassing
it is to write "I love you"
to random people
in your homeroom?
Just write
"Have a great summer."
It's the middle
of February.
Tim, where's your
sense of romance?
Candlelight dinner
and love poems?
Showering your
lady with gifts?
Impresario, I cannot wait
for our special night.
Mademoiselle Hunchback--
Oh, I keep forgetting
that you're still
here, my love.
Of course
I'm still here.
Paris was destroyed
by the alien invasion.
Right, right,
right, right.
We should really
rebuild that.
I could not help
but overhear you tell Tim
the treats you have
purchased for me.
What--Oh, no--
All that stuff's for Mama.
We spend Valentine's
together every year,
but don't worry,
I--I got you a card.
"You da best"?
Take it to the bank, baby.
Well, I'm gonna have
the best Valentine's Day ever.
That's right,
I scored a date
with Cat Lady.
You know,
the sexy cat burglar
with the tight
leather suit?
That's Cat Girl.
This is Cat Lady.
Oh.
Oh God.
Oh my God!
Do you have any pictures
from the back?
♪
Oh!
Hey Hotwire.
Mm, it looks like you
took me up on the suit.
(awkward laughing)
(clears throat)
So, you're probably wondering
why I'm all dressed up
because it is so early.
Well, guess what?
I planned a whole day for us,
just the two of us
celebrating being together,
not a care in the world.
Happy Valentine's Day,
sweetheart.
Shall we get going?
♪
(moaning)
♪
Your gun is
digging into me.
That's not my gun.
Oh.
It's my taser.
(zapping)
♪
Okay, I broke things
off with Cat Lady.
Hopefully she took it well--
But don't worry,
I was pretty nice about it.
(ding of text message)
(cats meowing)
Saw your picture.
Not interested.
Have a great summer.
Delivery for
Gadget Gal.
Ugh, another suitor.
Put it over there
with the others.
I hate Valentine's Day.
What, how can you hate
Valentine's Day?
On what other holiday
do you get to eat
tons and tons of candy?
-Halloween, Christmas, Easter.
-Purim?
And also any day
if you buy candy.
You're an adult
with a job.
Yeah, but this candy
has little messages on it.
Will you be mine?
Um, of course I will, candy.
Mademoiselle Hunchback
is makin' me
take her out for
Valentine's Day,
but I can't
cancel on my mom.
Oh, I know,
you should schedule them
at the same restaurant,
then go back and forth
and change disguises
in the bathroom
like that lady in the Robin
Williams documentary.
I was thinkin'
of Mama at 6:30
and Mademoiselle
Hunchback at 8.
Uh, that only works
in the movies.
Well, I guess I better order
a second round of flowers.
Okay, here we go.
$29.99--what?
Nine hundred dollars--
Oh, hell no!
Hello, everyone,
and happy Valentine's Day.
Do you like flowers--
Who doesn't?
Who's this diaper ass fool?
That's Villaintine.
Every few years
he shows up,
steals roses,
and then sells them
at a huge markup.
Now I happen to have
all of the roses
in the world,
which puts me in
the unique position
of offering them for
a mere $900 a dozen,
and if you act now,
you'll get a free vase
for $200!
Eleven hundred dollars?
Oh, I'm gonna kill
that sumbitch.
-Let's call Prock.
-What?
On his Valentine's Day date?
You guys can handle
this one without him.
You're the Awesomes!
Yeah, but Prock's our leader.
And going out
without your leader
is how you'll
grow as a hero.
I'm in, let's go
pound some diaper.
Actually, I'd love if you
could hang back with me, P-Man.
I haven't hit the gym forever
and I need you to spot me.
I'm in, let's go
pound some bench.
That's the slogan
for my gym.
Okay, well,
you heard the man.
Let's stop Villaintine.
-They're a good bunch.
-Yes, uh,
actually I wanted to
talk to you about that.
I can't believe how
expensive those flowers were.
Ah, I wonder what
could be over here.
Ah!
I hope you're hungry.
You are so sexy in
that suit, by the way.
♪
I know, I know,
a little over the top,
but for you
it's worth it.
You are the best
and this is
your special day.
♪
(fireworks popping
and whistling)
(sighing)
♪
(grunting)
Oh man, my muscles
must have atrophied in space.
Eight thousand pounds,
who am I, Prock?
(laughing)
So you were saying
this Impresario fella,
all he can conjure
is his mother?
I know it sounds strange,
but I assure you
Impresario is a great hero.
And what about Hotwire,
everyone's just okay
with the fact that she's
Malocchio's daughter?
Hotwire made some mistakes,
but so did I.
Prock gives people
second chances.
It's what makes him
a good leader.
Hm, that's great
to hear.
Hey, have you guys
seen Prock?
I've checked everywhere,
even places I know he'd never be
like the garage
and this gym.
Oh, he took off--why?
-Oh.
-Something wrong?
No, it's just I thought
we had Valentine's plans, so...
Wanna work out with us--
We're just about to play
tug of war with an airplane.
We're definitely
gonna win.
That's okay,
have fun.
It's so weird;
Prock seemed to be
really looking forward
to tonight.
♪
All right, buddy,
with the vase that's $1100.
♪
He's here,
let's move.
-Let's Prock and roll.
-What?
What? That--doesn't Prock
say that before a battle?
-Never.
-Well, he definitely says
let's keep
a low profile!
Hey, it's the Awesomes!
Too loud on my part.
(tires squealing)
♪
(grunting)
Ooh, hey,
wait your turn!
♪
No, not the vase!
♪
Oh, oh, must resist
urge to make out.
What's wrong with
you guys--you're gay
and you're probably gay.
I am not gay,
I am practical.
♪
I got this.
(arrow strike)
♪
(multiple arrow strikes)
♪
Oh no.
(gasps)
I love you,
forklift!
Muscleman, no!
♪
(kissing sounds)
Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh, thanks,
henchman.
Oh, come on!
Ooh, can I have
those flowers?
Nope.
In a stunning display
of incompetence
the Awesomes let Villaintine
and his entire crew get away
while their vice president
had sex with a forklift.
I thought I was
vice president.
We're all
vice presidents.
Yeah, oh,
oh yeah.
-This is bad.
-I'll tell you what's bad.
Forklift's not
picking up.
Don't overreact, guys.
Everyone makes a mistake.
Yeah, but not like this.
Come on, you think
when I led the Awesomes,
the bad guy
never got away?
I mean, they didn't,
but they could have.
I know,
I know.
Flying first class to Bali
just to get dessert
might seem
a little excessive,
but you have to admit
that chocolate flan
was worth
every penny.
Oh, hey guys,
what's goin' on?
Yeah, oh.
Oh, that doesn't
look good.
Hotwire, what are you
doing over there?
You're right next to--
♪
Everyone is
a vice president?
(firing lasers)
♪
I promise you next
Valentine's Day will be better.
I'm not worried about
Valentine's Day, Prock.
I'm worried that the suit
is acting on its own.
On the plus side,
this does explain
why you didn't
say one word
on our special afternoon.
♪
♪
(thud)
(grunting)
I can't believe
I spent all my savings
on a magical day
with a robot.
Tell me about it,
I just bought
a condo
with a forklift.
Hey, one time
I fell in love
with a volleyball.
Right, that time
you went crazy.
Oh, I forgot
about that.
I was actually talking about
a different volleyball.
(firing lasers)
Yeah, I--I'm sorry, baby,
there's just no way
I'm gonna be
done by eight.
No, I told you
it's a battle.
Well, what you
want me to do?
Hold on.
Mama, calm down.
There's nothin'
I can do.
It's my job.
Could you hold on?
Hey, sorry, babe,
but don't worry.
I'll make it up
to you tonight
with some sweet,
sweet love.
-Say what?
-Oh Mama, it's still you?
Oh my God,
I ate too much candy.
(vomiting)
Delivery for
Gadget Gal.
Are you kidding me?
During a battle?
Delivery for
Concierge.
Really,
somethin' for me?
"From your
secret admirer."
Wait a second,
did you guys do this
just because you
felt sorry for me?
-No.
-Never.
-Never.
-What?
It says "From
your secret admirer.
Have a great summer."
-"Muscleman."
-Dammit.
Why did we have
Muscleman do it?
Well, almost
out of oxygen.
Guess this is how
I'm gonna die.
Always thought it would
be from heart disease
or an infected
tongue piercing.
It's funny,
when I was busy,
I always wanted
more free time,
but now that
I'm floating in space
with nothing to do,
I wish I was busy.
Crazy how that works.
(clears throat)
Well, I guess it's just me
and the universe now,
and my phone.
What would be a good song
to die to?
Dammit, out of
batteries, of course.
Well, I guess this is
the end of the line for Dr...
(chuckles)
That's funny,
I can't--
can't remember my own name.
I guess oxygen
is important.
Oh.
♪
(explosions)
♪
I don't know why we're
so off our game today,
and of all days right
when my dad comes back.
So much for him
being proud of me.
I'm sure
he understands.
♪
(humming)
♪
(firing lasers)
♪
The suit is making moves
I never programmed.
♪
Do you have any way
to shut it down remotely?
I should be able to,
but nothing's working.
There's a fail-safe
inside the suit,
but someone would literally
have to climb inside
while it's moving,
and how could you ever do--
Stop.
♪
One of these days I'm really
gonna have to tell Hotwire
about my power, although
she'll probably wonder why
I haven't told her
about it already.
That's the thing
with secrets, the longer
you don't tell 'em,
the bigger they get.
Oh well.
♪
Aw!
On
Off
♪
Start.
♪
Well, that was easy.
♪
Yeah,
that was easy.
Why is your nose
bleeding again?
Huh?
If you're here to get footage,
you're too late.
The Awesomes
saved the day.
(thunderous hiss)
(heavy footstep)
(angry yowl)
Muscleman, you won't
go out with me,
but you'll ...
a forklift?
Hey Cat Lady!
Did you have
a good summer?
So what's
your name, man?
I don't remember.
What were you
doin' in space?
Your guess is
as good as mine.
So what do you guys do?
We're a band, bro.
The What Huh Hows.
We're huge on Pluto.
What about you?
Hm, I think
I'm a chef?
Aw, man, we could use someone
to cook for us on the road.
-For realio?
-Yeah, man, what do you say?
Sure, I mean,
it's not like
I have anything
important to do.
-I mean--
-Hey!
Why'd you put Greg
in your mouth?
Sorry, Greg, thought
you were something else.
-My bad.
-It's all good, bro.
(angry yowling)
Look, I'm really sorry!
You reached out to me
on H-Date.
Hero Date? I don't
even have a profile.
You called me.
♪
For the third
time today
our city is
in crisis,
and once again,
the Awesomes are to blame,
although who can blame
Cat Lady for her rage
having been jilted
on Valentine's Day
for a forklift?
♪
(cats yowling)
♪
Yo, this day sucks.
I don't want to live
in a city run by cats.
Cat mayor, though,
that would be pretty great.
Little kitty with
a bowler hat, maybe a cigar.
Sign me up.
What are you
talking about?
Hm?
I can't hold the dome
much longer.
My God,
are the pussies
out there
or in here?
Gadget Gal
is right.
We have to fight
to the bitter end.
Dome coming down.
What, where
did they go?
Oh my God,
look!
It's him,
he's back!
That's right,
I'm back.
But I'm not here
to be a hero anymore.
You don't need me
because you have the Awesomes,
the greatest superhero team
the world has ever known.
And while today
wasn't their best day,
you have to remember
they were being attacked
by an old lady
and a bunch of house cats--
oh, and a robot suit
they built.
Mm, not sure I would
have said it that way.
So now,
if you'll excuse me,
this old man is
going to get some rest,
because if--if
I'm being honest,
I've lost a step.
Hold on,
everybody duck.
♪
(laser firing)
Ow!
Now that was
uncalled for.
So one of you let the police
know that Villaintine
is just off Route 44.
♪
Well, it was a good bionic
suit while it lasted.
♪
At least it'll be nice
to have the closet space back.
Can I keep this stuff
in your closet?
Sure!
♪
I hate
Valentine's Day.
Despite my best efforts,
I spent another
Valentine's Day with cats.
Who could have
predicted that?
I have to buy
a hundred flowers
to make it up with
Mademoiselle Hunchback,
and a hundred more
for my mom.
And everyone at school
thinks I'm so weird
because I gave them all
I Love You cards.
Have a great summer,
I told you.
Mind if I flip on the tube?
I'll just say what
we're all thinking.
If Mr. Awesome is back,
there is no way
he shouldn't be
leading that team.
I mean, what is
he waiting for?
He has to
take over.
(evil laughter)
♪
♪ How am I supposed
to know that you're high
if you won't
let me touch you ♪
♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh ♪
♪ How am I supposed
to know that you're high
if you won't even dance ♪
♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh ♪
♪ How am I supposed
to know that you're high
if you won't
even dance ♪
♪ Yeah, you won't
even dance ♪♪
♪
♪
♪
Dad?
Welcome home.
Stop; My dad is back--
My dad is back!
Okay, I gotta show him
I've done a good job
while he was gone, and I have,
and he will see that.
But the most important
thing is to be cool,
so be cool,
be cool, be cool.
Sir, I'm so happy you're
black--back--you're back.
Well, it's great
to see you too.
(bones crunching)
Now, aren't you gonna introduce
me to all your friends?
Oh right,
what am I doing?
Dad, these are
the new Awesomes.
-You know Muscleman, of course.
-Harry.
-How's your father?
-He's good, Mr. A.
-This is Impresario.
-It's a pleasure, sir.
-Frantic and Sumo.
-Howdy.
I turn into
a giant sumo wrestler.
-I'm not always a little kid.
-Wonderful.
Concierge used to be
a secretary here,
but now she's
a full member of the team.
I remember you,
Concierge.
Great to see you.
Do these gams ring
a bell, old friend--Ha!
Ho-ho-ho, if memory serves,
they rang the bell
of many a villain
back in the day.
Hi Frank.
Lookin' good,
Arlene.
Perfect Man,
how are ya?
Good--I'm much less
of a dick these days.
And if it isn't
Katherine Malocchio.
You have your
mother's eyes.
And that's my team--
I mean our team.
That's the Awesomes.
Well, I just
want to say
how proud I am
of what you,
what all of you have
accomplished here.
You've done the name proud.
(bashful murmuring)
I want all of
you to know
that I'm only back here
as your guest.
Maybe I can help around
the Mountain a little,
sweep up if
you'll let me,
and maybe you
wouldn't mind some
occasional advice
from an old man.
Oh, great--
how many credit cards
is too many credit cards?
Space is
a lonely place.
It makes a man realize
that the most important
thing is family,
and the Awesomes
is my family.
Dad, I'm so glad
to hear that.
I have so many things
I want to ask you.
And I'll be happy to answer,
but this old superhero
is pretty tired.
I'm still on space time,
so it's 3 AM for me.
-I'm gonna turn in.
-Good night, Mr. A!
Sweet dreams.
♪
♪
(humming)
♪
Dammit, a slide show.
"This Superhero
Turned into a Villain.
Find Out How."
What--This article has nothing
to do with the headline.
I hate Upworthy.
Hey, now what's this?
♪
(ding of email)
"Frantic would like to add you
to his professional network
on LinkedIn."
Can he tell if I don't?
What do I care,
I'm evil.
... that.
♪
♪ This feels
awesome ♪
♪ This feels awesome ♪
♪ Yeah, this feels awesome ♪
♪
♪ Yeah, this feels awesome ♪
♪ This feels awesome ♪
♪ This feels
awesome ♪
♪ This feels so awesome ♪♪
♪
(beeping)
♪
Okay, Malocchio,
you get back to earth
and stop Mr. Awesome
before it's too late, eh?
Hm.
Where's the bathroom
on this thing?
(pressure release)
(sound of urinating)
This is fun!
Like that movie Gravity.
I like that flick,
although I did fall asleep
about five minutes in.
I wonder what happened.
I bet that chick
hooked up
with George Clooney.
(zipping sound)
Okay, that
can't be good.
♪
He was actually proud.
Hard to even process
what that feels like.
You know, this is turning out
to be a pretty good year.
My dad finally
appreciates me,
I get to be with
the love of my life.
You're okay with me
moving in, right?
Are you kidding--
Having you here is the best.
With that said,
your Metal Fella suit
does kind of take up
a lot of the closet space.
Yeah, I miss that suit.
I should take it out
for a spin sometime.
Oh, I wouldn't mind that--
If I'm being honest,
it turns me on a little;
Not a lot of women
can pull off the vigilante
metal suit look.
Aw, you're sweet.
No, seriously,
it looks great on you.
(kissing sounds)
♪
(zapping)
♪
I can't believe
it's Valentine's Day
and we get to work
for the actual Mr. Awesome.
Well, you're not
working for him.
-I'm still the leader.
-Aw!
So Prock, first
Valentine's Day with Hotwire.
What's the plan?
Well, I got reservations
at the most exclusive
restaurant in town.
The Arby's in the mall--
Do you know Mr. Arby?
Oh, his head must be so big
to fit in that giant hat.
It's not Arby's, and it won't
just be dinner and flowers.
I'm doing a whole day
with fun, romantic things
planned every hour.
You're a good boyfriend, Prock.
When I was
dating Hotwire,
I always forgot
Valentine's Day.
Well, I guess some of us
understand women
a little better--
But I'll never forget
the anniversary
of the first time
we made love
for seven hours straight.
February 14th.
Valentine's Day
is the worst.
I have to write a card
to everyone in my class.
Do you know how embarrassing
it is to write "I love you"
to random people
in your homeroom?
Just write
"Have a great summer."
It's the middle
of February.
Tim, where's your
sense of romance?
Candlelight dinner
and love poems?
Showering your
lady with gifts?
Impresario, I cannot wait
for our special night.
Mademoiselle Hunchback--
Oh, I keep forgetting
that you're still
here, my love.
Of course
I'm still here.
Paris was destroyed
by the alien invasion.
Right, right,
right, right.
We should really
rebuild that.
I could not help
but overhear you tell Tim
the treats you have
purchased for me.
What--Oh, no--
All that stuff's for Mama.
We spend Valentine's
together every year,
but don't worry,
I--I got you a card.
"You da best"?
Take it to the bank, baby.
Well, I'm gonna have
the best Valentine's Day ever.
That's right,
I scored a date
with Cat Lady.
You know,
the sexy cat burglar
with the tight
leather suit?
That's Cat Girl.
This is Cat Lady.
Oh.
Oh God.
Oh my God!
Do you have any pictures
from the back?
♪
Oh!
Hey Hotwire.
Mm, it looks like you
took me up on the suit.
(awkward laughing)
(clears throat)
So, you're probably wondering
why I'm all dressed up
because it is so early.
Well, guess what?
I planned a whole day for us,
just the two of us
celebrating being together,
not a care in the world.
Happy Valentine's Day,
sweetheart.
Shall we get going?
♪
(moaning)
♪
Your gun is
digging into me.
That's not my gun.
Oh.
It's my taser.
(zapping)
♪
Okay, I broke things
off with Cat Lady.
Hopefully she took it well--
But don't worry,
I was pretty nice about it.
(ding of text message)
(cats meowing)
Saw your picture.
Not interested.
Have a great summer.
Delivery for
Gadget Gal.
Ugh, another suitor.
Put it over there
with the others.
I hate Valentine's Day.
What, how can you hate
Valentine's Day?
On what other holiday
do you get to eat
tons and tons of candy?
-Halloween, Christmas, Easter.
-Purim?
And also any day
if you buy candy.
You're an adult
with a job.
Yeah, but this candy
has little messages on it.
Will you be mine?
Um, of course I will, candy.
Mademoiselle Hunchback
is makin' me
take her out for
Valentine's Day,
but I can't
cancel on my mom.
Oh, I know,
you should schedule them
at the same restaurant,
then go back and forth
and change disguises
in the bathroom
like that lady in the Robin
Williams documentary.
I was thinkin'
of Mama at 6:30
and Mademoiselle
Hunchback at 8.
Uh, that only works
in the movies.
Well, I guess I better order
a second round of flowers.
Okay, here we go.
$29.99--what?
Nine hundred dollars--
Oh, hell no!
Hello, everyone,
and happy Valentine's Day.
Do you like flowers--
Who doesn't?
Who's this diaper ass fool?
That's Villaintine.
Every few years
he shows up,
steals roses,
and then sells them
at a huge markup.
Now I happen to have
all of the roses
in the world,
which puts me in
the unique position
of offering them for
a mere $900 a dozen,
and if you act now,
you'll get a free vase
for $200!
Eleven hundred dollars?
Oh, I'm gonna kill
that sumbitch.
-Let's call Prock.
-What?
On his Valentine's Day date?
You guys can handle
this one without him.
You're the Awesomes!
Yeah, but Prock's our leader.
And going out
without your leader
is how you'll
grow as a hero.
I'm in, let's go
pound some diaper.
Actually, I'd love if you
could hang back with me, P-Man.
I haven't hit the gym forever
and I need you to spot me.
I'm in, let's go
pound some bench.
That's the slogan
for my gym.
Okay, well,
you heard the man.
Let's stop Villaintine.
-They're a good bunch.
-Yes, uh,
actually I wanted to
talk to you about that.
I can't believe how
expensive those flowers were.
Ah, I wonder what
could be over here.
Ah!
I hope you're hungry.
You are so sexy in
that suit, by the way.
♪
I know, I know,
a little over the top,
but for you
it's worth it.
You are the best
and this is
your special day.
♪
(fireworks popping
and whistling)
(sighing)
♪
(grunting)
Oh man, my muscles
must have atrophied in space.
Eight thousand pounds,
who am I, Prock?
(laughing)
So you were saying
this Impresario fella,
all he can conjure
is his mother?
I know it sounds strange,
but I assure you
Impresario is a great hero.
And what about Hotwire,
everyone's just okay
with the fact that she's
Malocchio's daughter?
Hotwire made some mistakes,
but so did I.
Prock gives people
second chances.
It's what makes him
a good leader.
Hm, that's great
to hear.
Hey, have you guys
seen Prock?
I've checked everywhere,
even places I know he'd never be
like the garage
and this gym.
Oh, he took off--why?
-Oh.
-Something wrong?
No, it's just I thought
we had Valentine's plans, so...
Wanna work out with us--
We're just about to play
tug of war with an airplane.
We're definitely
gonna win.
That's okay,
have fun.
It's so weird;
Prock seemed to be
really looking forward
to tonight.
♪
All right, buddy,
with the vase that's $1100.
♪
He's here,
let's move.
-Let's Prock and roll.
-What?
What? That--doesn't Prock
say that before a battle?
-Never.
-Well, he definitely says
let's keep
a low profile!
Hey, it's the Awesomes!
Too loud on my part.
(tires squealing)
♪
(grunting)
Ooh, hey,
wait your turn!
♪
No, not the vase!
♪
Oh, oh, must resist
urge to make out.
What's wrong with
you guys--you're gay
and you're probably gay.
I am not gay,
I am practical.
♪
I got this.
(arrow strike)
♪
(multiple arrow strikes)
♪
Oh no.
(gasps)
I love you,
forklift!
Muscleman, no!
♪
(kissing sounds)
Happy Valentine's Day.
Oh, thanks,
henchman.
Oh, come on!
Ooh, can I have
those flowers?
Nope.
In a stunning display
of incompetence
the Awesomes let Villaintine
and his entire crew get away
while their vice president
had sex with a forklift.
I thought I was
vice president.
We're all
vice presidents.
Yeah, oh,
oh yeah.
-This is bad.
-I'll tell you what's bad.
Forklift's not
picking up.
Don't overreact, guys.
Everyone makes a mistake.
Yeah, but not like this.
Come on, you think
when I led the Awesomes,
the bad guy
never got away?
I mean, they didn't,
but they could have.
I know,
I know.
Flying first class to Bali
just to get dessert
might seem
a little excessive,
but you have to admit
that chocolate flan
was worth
every penny.
Oh, hey guys,
what's goin' on?
Yeah, oh.
Oh, that doesn't
look good.
Hotwire, what are you
doing over there?
You're right next to--
♪
Everyone is
a vice president?
(firing lasers)
♪
I promise you next
Valentine's Day will be better.
I'm not worried about
Valentine's Day, Prock.
I'm worried that the suit
is acting on its own.
On the plus side,
this does explain
why you didn't
say one word
on our special afternoon.
♪
♪
(thud)
(grunting)
I can't believe
I spent all my savings
on a magical day
with a robot.
Tell me about it,
I just bought
a condo
with a forklift.
Hey, one time
I fell in love
with a volleyball.
Right, that time
you went crazy.
Oh, I forgot
about that.
I was actually talking about
a different volleyball.
(firing lasers)
Yeah, I--I'm sorry, baby,
there's just no way
I'm gonna be
done by eight.
No, I told you
it's a battle.
Well, what you
want me to do?
Hold on.
Mama, calm down.
There's nothin'
I can do.
It's my job.
Could you hold on?
Hey, sorry, babe,
but don't worry.
I'll make it up
to you tonight
with some sweet,
sweet love.
-Say what?
-Oh Mama, it's still you?
Oh my God,
I ate too much candy.
(vomiting)
Delivery for
Gadget Gal.
Are you kidding me?
During a battle?
Delivery for
Concierge.
Really,
somethin' for me?
"From your
secret admirer."
Wait a second,
did you guys do this
just because you
felt sorry for me?
-No.
-Never.
-Never.
-What?
It says "From
your secret admirer.
Have a great summer."
-"Muscleman."
-Dammit.
Why did we have
Muscleman do it?
Well, almost
out of oxygen.
Guess this is how
I'm gonna die.
Always thought it would
be from heart disease
or an infected
tongue piercing.
It's funny,
when I was busy,
I always wanted
more free time,
but now that
I'm floating in space
with nothing to do,
I wish I was busy.
Crazy how that works.
(clears throat)
Well, I guess it's just me
and the universe now,
and my phone.
What would be a good song
to die to?
Dammit, out of
batteries, of course.
Well, I guess this is
the end of the line for Dr...
(chuckles)
That's funny,
I can't--
can't remember my own name.
I guess oxygen
is important.
Oh.
♪
(explosions)
♪
I don't know why we're
so off our game today,
and of all days right
when my dad comes back.
So much for him
being proud of me.
I'm sure
he understands.
♪
(humming)
♪
(firing lasers)
♪
The suit is making moves
I never programmed.
♪
Do you have any way
to shut it down remotely?
I should be able to,
but nothing's working.
There's a fail-safe
inside the suit,
but someone would literally
have to climb inside
while it's moving,
and how could you ever do--
Stop.
♪
One of these days I'm really
gonna have to tell Hotwire
about my power, although
she'll probably wonder why
I haven't told her
about it already.
That's the thing
with secrets, the longer
you don't tell 'em,
the bigger they get.
Oh well.
♪
Aw!
On
Off
♪
Start.
♪
Well, that was easy.
♪
Yeah,
that was easy.
Why is your nose
bleeding again?
Huh?
If you're here to get footage,
you're too late.
The Awesomes
saved the day.
(thunderous hiss)
(heavy footstep)
(angry yowl)
Muscleman, you won't
go out with me,
but you'll ...
a forklift?
Hey Cat Lady!
Did you have
a good summer?
So what's
your name, man?
I don't remember.
What were you
doin' in space?
Your guess is
as good as mine.
So what do you guys do?
We're a band, bro.
The What Huh Hows.
We're huge on Pluto.
What about you?
Hm, I think
I'm a chef?
Aw, man, we could use someone
to cook for us on the road.
-For realio?
-Yeah, man, what do you say?
Sure, I mean,
it's not like
I have anything
important to do.
-I mean--
-Hey!
Why'd you put Greg
in your mouth?
Sorry, Greg, thought
you were something else.
-My bad.
-It's all good, bro.
(angry yowling)
Look, I'm really sorry!
You reached out to me
on H-Date.
Hero Date? I don't
even have a profile.
You called me.
♪
For the third
time today
our city is
in crisis,
and once again,
the Awesomes are to blame,
although who can blame
Cat Lady for her rage
having been jilted
on Valentine's Day
for a forklift?
♪
(cats yowling)
♪
Yo, this day sucks.
I don't want to live
in a city run by cats.
Cat mayor, though,
that would be pretty great.
Little kitty with
a bowler hat, maybe a cigar.
Sign me up.
What are you
talking about?
Hm?
I can't hold the dome
much longer.
My God,
are the pussies
out there
or in here?
Gadget Gal
is right.
We have to fight
to the bitter end.
Dome coming down.
What, where
did they go?
Oh my God,
look!
It's him,
he's back!
That's right,
I'm back.
But I'm not here
to be a hero anymore.
You don't need me
because you have the Awesomes,
the greatest superhero team
the world has ever known.
And while today
wasn't their best day,
you have to remember
they were being attacked
by an old lady
and a bunch of house cats--
oh, and a robot suit
they built.
Mm, not sure I would
have said it that way.
So now,
if you'll excuse me,
this old man is
going to get some rest,
because if--if
I'm being honest,
I've lost a step.
Hold on,
everybody duck.
♪
(laser firing)
Ow!
Now that was
uncalled for.
So one of you let the police
know that Villaintine
is just off Route 44.
♪
Well, it was a good bionic
suit while it lasted.
♪
At least it'll be nice
to have the closet space back.
Can I keep this stuff
in your closet?
Sure!
♪
I hate
Valentine's Day.
Despite my best efforts,
I spent another
Valentine's Day with cats.
Who could have
predicted that?
I have to buy
a hundred flowers
to make it up with
Mademoiselle Hunchback,
and a hundred more
for my mom.
And everyone at school
thinks I'm so weird
because I gave them all
I Love You cards.
Have a great summer,
I told you.
Mind if I flip on the tube?
I'll just say what
we're all thinking.
If Mr. Awesome is back,
there is no way
he shouldn't be
leading that team.
I mean, what is
he waiting for?
He has to
take over.
(evil laughter)
♪
♪ How am I supposed
to know that you're high
if you won't
let me touch you ♪
♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh ♪
♪ How am I supposed
to know that you're high
if you won't even dance ♪
♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh ♪
♪ How am I supposed
to know that you're high
if you won't
even dance ♪
♪ Yeah, you won't
even dance ♪♪
♪
♪