The Awesomes (2013–2015): Season 3, Episode 1 - Seaman's Revenge - full transcript
When undersea creatures stage a series of attacks in land, The Awesomes visit their old friend Seaman at the bottom of the ocean. Mr. Awesome returns to Earth.
(alarm blaring)
(frustrated grunting)
TRANSFUSION ERROR
♪
Listen, Malocchio.
When I turned you good,
some of your blood
got into my veins,
and now I'm
turning evil.
Oh no, being evil
is the worst.
I can give you some
evil tips, though.
When you
strangle someone,
hold your hands
like this.
I can only hold
back the evil
for a couple
more minutes,
but...
(angry grunting)
(thud)
-Ooh, sorry about that.
-No problem.
Good finger
placement.
Look at me
helping you.
There is something
I need from you.
Soon I will
turn fully evil
and begin the process of
destroying all of humanity.
That's why I need you
to go back to earth
and warn
everyone about me
before I kill
everyone in the world.
(evil laughter)
Ooh, I don't
like that.
Okay, I'm off to do
the warning business,
but first
goodbye hug?
Make it quick.
You are
my friend.
Can I get your address?
I want to send you
a thank you--oh!
(evil laughter)
♪
♪ This feels
awesome ♪
♪ This feels awesome ♪
♪ Yeah, this feels awesome ♪
♪
♪ Yeah, this feels awesome ♪
♪ This feels awesome ♪
♪ This feels
awesome ♪
♪ This feels so awesome ♪♪
♪
♪
(squealing)
OceanLand's the best.
So much better
than the theme park
I went to as a kid,
Wet Place.
That was just
a damp washcloth
in the middle
of a cornfield.
Where did you
grow up again?
In the middle
of a cornfield.
I'm gonna buy
a season pass
because you save
money that way.
Don't do that. You're
never coming here again.
That's what they said to me
at the Museum of--what was it?
Oh, I only went
that one time.
-Oh my God!
-Oh my God!
-Here we go.
-It's Perfect Man!
I'm sorry, I only autograph
my official head shot.
-Aw!
-Lucky for you,
I always
carry them with me.
You're okay with him
getting all the attention?
Eh, I kind of
like him now.
Besides, he can
have everybody else
as long as I get you.
(moaning)
-Can you not get up?
-I can't.
Just set me down.
(grunting and bones cracking)
♪
It's so nice Prock
gave us the day off.
Why not? Malocchio Jr and
the P.R.I.C.K.S. are in jail,
Perfect Man stopped
an alien invasion.
-We deserve a treat.
-You know what else
would be a treat?
Cost of living increases
and a dental plan.
Who needs dental?
I got new veneers
at the dollar store.
Did I ever tell you I was a
marine biology minor in college?
Three times since we
left the shuttle bus.
I'm conflicted. I love
seeing majestic sea creatures,
but I can't help
but think we shouldn't
lock them up
for our enjoyment.
If it was up to me,
we'd lock 'em all up.
I don't trust anyone
who breathes
with gills.
Has a fish ever
hurt you, Gadget Gal?
Not yet, but
that doesn't mean
I'm letting
down my guard.
♪
Guys, come on! The Whaley
Show's about to start.
I can't wait
to see Whaley.
He's my favorite fish
in the whole world.
Technically whales aren't
fish, they're mammals.
Technically you aren't
fun to be around.
-You are a bummer.
-Frantic!
I'm sorry,
I just got
Whaley fever.
Come on,
come on, come on!
♪
(splashing)
You know,
I read dolphin fishing
is killing
all of the tuna.
It's the other way around.
Sorry, killing
all of the tuna
is dolphin fishing I read.
-Great.
-Yeah, I didn't read it.
I saw it on TV.
And now it's time
to meet our star, Whaley!
Whaley,
Whaley, Whaley!
-Wow!
-Whoa!
(applause and cheering)
He's swimmin' by!
Oh, that is great.
♪
-Whoa-hoa!
-What's going on?
It's a breakout!
(lasers firing)
♪
(seagull caws)
♪
No!
♪
(dolphins clicking)
Ah, somebody
do something!
What the hell is
wrong with you?
That's a dolphin!
Oh, I know
what it is.
Gadget Gal,
as a marine biology minor,
may I remind you
that dolphins
are just as smart
as humans?
Oh, they're smart,
all right--
too smart.
(hissing)
-Screaming at--
-Amidst the--
Prock, you should
see this.
All over the world,
fish are on the attack
in efforts to liberate
their undersea brethren.
(lasers firing)
♪
(crowd cheering)
Hey, man!
They're not
real fish, man!
♪
Looks like this day off
just turned into a day on.
-What's the plan?
-I think I know
someone who can help us:
-Seaman.
-Who's Seaman?
Known as the King
of all Waters,
Seaman is an
amphibious hero
who can control
ocean life.
He was an early member
of the Awesomes,
but he and my father
had a falling out.
-What happened?
-Seaman thought that since
Earth is two-thirds water,
he should have control
of two-thirds of the team.
I remember Seaman.
He was always trying
to make time with me.
I found Seaman
very distasteful.
"Sea-MAN."
Tell me,
Gadget Gal,
was he ever
in your hair?
Seaman was impossible
to get out of my hair.
So he was always
on your back?
If he wasn't
on my back,
Seaman was on my face.
When I was younger,
Seaman was everywhere.
-Guys, enough.
-Did you ever put him
in Tupperware and then
throw him in the freezer
to see if you could turn
him into a big ice cube?
Why would anyone
do that to Seaman?
Yes, why?
I try to join in on
the fun and I ruined it.
Yes, you did,
and when we get home,
we are buying
new Tupperware.
This is what happens
when you start
wordplay in front
of Muscleman.
So where is Seaman now?
He lives in an
undersea fortress.
Seaman, he's such
a pompous ass.
Also, I will be
sitting this one out.
I don't like the way my hair
looks when it gets wet.
I'll get the
Awesome Sub ready.
Okay, Perfect Man,
you stay here
and put OceanLand
back together.
-You too, Hotwire.
-Why?
Electricity and
water don't mix.
What, you're okay with
Hotwire staying on land
with Perfect Man?
Yeah, I am.
(cheering)
Now let's go
talk to Seaman.
We don't have
a lot of time.
But let's not be
too early
because--
I have this one--
Seaman hates it when--
bear with me--
you're premature.
No.
Oh, I don't
like submarines.
I know why you're
scared, Impresario,
but I am more than happy
to teach you how to swim.
Excuse me? Many ignorant
people like yourself
assume that I,
a black man, cannot swim,
but I will have you know
that I was state champion
in the hundred
meter backstroke.
I did not wake
at five every morning
and shave
my whole body
to suffer
your casual racism.
All right, gang,
we're almost there,
and I'm very excited
to debut a new technology
I've been working on,
Gloxaglobin.
It's an oxygen
serum that goes
directly into
the bloodstream,
allowing you
to breathe underwater
for up to 72 hours.
Pretty cool, right?
Wow, my first vaccination.
Okay, everybody,
suit up.
(grunting)
♪
I'm gonna leave
my T-shirt on.
Still fits.
Woo, look at
those gams.
Now just gotta carbo load.
Hey, that's
my Tupperware.
Dammit!
♪
I'm glad this
isn't weird,
you and I on
the same team.
I am, too.
I'll tell you something else.
I'm realizing Prock is
a better leader
than his father.
Mr. Awesome was
the best hero
the world
has ever seen,
but this might
be the best team.
That's really sweet
of you, Perfect Man.
-Want to make out?
-No.
You passed the test.
Platonic friends!
(sighs)
♪
Be prepared, everyone.
We don't know
how this is gonna go.
Seaman is a former Awesome,
but the last
time I saw him,
he was leaving
Awesome Mountain
in a fit of rage.
♪
What a wondrous
sight this is!
My old friend
Jeremy Awesome.
The last time I saw you,
you were wet
behind the ears.
Seaman joke!
Welcome to my kingdom,
a land where
everyone is invited.
I'm so happy to hear
you're not still mad.
Oh please, that's all
water under the bridge.
Seaman joke!
Sorry, I couldn't
"kelp" myself.
And done,
I'm done, I promise.
Oh, his sense of humor.
Would you call it crusty?
I call Seaman
very crusty.
Oh, oh,
thank you.
Awesomes, please accept these
tokens of my hospitality.
♪
I can hear the ocean.
Seaman, I hate to get
right down to business,
but do you know
anything about
the recent fish
attacks on land?
Hm, I find it
interesting
that you're here
to investigate
violence against humans
when our world is dying
because of your people.
My oceans have
been overfished,
polluted, and
abused for years.
Did you just throw the paper
from the gift I gave you
into my ocean?
-Sorry?
-It's fine, it's fine.
It's all water
under the bridge.
-Callback!
-Callback?
Well, I don't know
who's behind the attacks,
but you're welcome to stay
with me, and
together we will
find whoever
is responsible.
And since
you are my guests,
I hope you will join me
for a dinner tonight
in your honor.
Ho-ho-ho, I hope
we're having sushi.
Down here we call sushi
friends and family.
Oh, sorry,
in that case,
I hope we're having
friends and family
for dinner.
Wonderful.
Rest up
and I will see you soon.
My only request is
that you all attend.
Attendance is mandatory.
I have something planned
that I would hate
for anyone to miss,
so make sure
you all attend.
(chuckling)
♪
All right, we have a few
hours to kill before dinner.
Let's try and get as much
information as we can,
but remember, we are
ambassadors from the land,
so try and show the respect--
(slurping and belching)
(sighs)
♪
-You a swimmer?
-Backstroke, hundred meters.
-Minute-ten.
-Cool, uh,
I can do 45 seconds.
Very nice, very nice. Say,
you wouldn't know
anything about
these recent attacks
on land, would ya?
Sorry, Legs, we got
a saying down here:
Don't talk to nobody who
breathes through their mouth.
Hey, check out
that hot mermaid.
-Very nice.
-No, not her,
her.
♪
Oh!
Legs for days
and gills for weeks.
Oh my God,
oh my God,
it's Whaley!
Mr. Whaley,
I am your biggest fan.
Can't you see I'm busy?
(coughing)
And Whaley's what
my captors call me.
My real name is...
(whale song)
Never meet your heroes.
Same thing happened
when I met André Leon
Talley in Milan.
-Was he rude?
-No, he was really nice.
-I was lookin' for sass.
-Hey.
I won't make it
to dinner tonight.
Got a date with Neppy.
I'm pretty sure Seaman
wanted us all to come to dinner.
Also, aren't you grossed
out that she has a fish head?
Yeah, but she's human
in all the right places.
(chuckling)
Why does Neppy
always get all the guys?
Oh, we're hideous!
(sobbing)
Since when have you
been so good with tools?
Since when? I have an
engineering degree from MIT.
I built the Metal Fella
suit from scratch?
-I assumed that came from a kit.
-It didn't.
Have you always been
interested in electricity?
I have electrical powers.
Oh, Hotwire.
I always thought it was
because you were hot.
I suppose I deserve
some blame for that.
Well, I think
our work is done.
Ho-ho-ho, arcade!
♪
This song is
so sad and beautiful.
It's called
"Human Trap."
You know,
I'm a marine biologist.
-Cool.
-Threadfin rainbowfish.
-Salmon.
-Thank you, everyone.
I'd like to formerly welcome
the Awesomes to our city.
-Wait, where's Muscleman?
-I'm so sorry.
He ended up having
another commitment.
For real? 'Cause I'm pretty
sure the one thing I said
was that everyone
had to be here tonight.
He's being
incredibly "shellfish."
Seaman joke!
My sincerest
apologies, Seaman.
You know,
it's not often
our friends
from the land
make the effort
to come down here.
It's just too bad that
I only get to see you
for a couple days.
I wish you could
stay longer,
like, I don't know,
forever?
(maniacal laughter)
(zapping)
(grunting)
We've been
poisoned by Seaman.
How dare he!
-The balls!
-The best.
For years, the ocean
has served humans as food,
entertainment,
a dumping ground,
but now the tables
have turned.
I've built an
entire theme park
that puts humans on the
other side of the fishbowl.
The Awesomes will
now be my crown jewel,
the main attraction
of LandWorld!
♪
Do you offer
season passes?
Not sure it's right
to be playing skee ball
while our team is down
there in possible danger.
I'm worried.
Well, it's showing
in your game.
Ooh, I'm gonna get Frantic
a stuffed Whaley.
-I think he'll like that.
-That's nice.
I have to say,
Perfect Man,
I thought once
everything died down
you'd set out
on your own again.
I'm surprised you
stayed with the team.
Me too--oh!--
but they need me.
It's great for my brand.
Ho-ho, free laundry, yup,
and most importantly,
it's the first time
in my life I've had friends.
For some reason
I've had a hard time
making them in the past.
Hoo-hoo!
I win
and you stink.
Perfect Man rules!
Hey, what's going on?
(grunting)
What the heck?
I'm walkin' slower
than the lines
at Wet Place.
Our powers must not work
because of the poison.
Stop it, everyone,
we need to rest.
Jellyfish venom causes cells
to become porous enough
to allow
potassium leakage,
which can lead to
cardiovascular collapse
and even death.
I took a jellyfish class
for my minor.
-It was in--
-We know!
Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Do humans want
some yum yums?
Better come
and do a trick.
The Awesomes will
never perform for you,
do you hear me?
Never.
♪
♪ Hey, man,
look at
that mermaid ♪
Come on!
♪ Can you
even call her
mermaid? ♪
♪ Whether or not,
she's technically a mermaid ♪
(laughing)
♪ Take a chance
and smooch those lips ♪♪
♪
(grunting and slobbering sounds)
Hey, what are you doing later?
There's this cool new
theme park we could check out.
Oh yeah? I love
theme parks.
(grunting and slobbering sounds)
(vomiting)
♪
What a wondrous
sight this is.
And now the main
attraction, LandWorld!
I just don't know
if the ocean should be
appropriating
gay culture like this.
Oh, Frantic,
you learned a word.
Yeah, been brushin'
up on my gay history.
I'm confused. How is dressing up
like human civilians gay?
I am loving this
vest, by the way.
Dance, humans, dance!
♪
(laughing)
This is great.
Oh, I just wish
Gadget Gal,
Concierge,
Frantic, Hotwire,
Impresario, and Prock
were here to see this.
Get your surfer hands here,
fresh surfer hands.
Yes, please.
I guess my diet
starts tomorrow.
Hey look,
there's Muscleman.
-Muscleman!
-Muscleman!
-Help, help!
-Muscleman!
-Help!
-Stick with the act.
Oh my God! It's
the guy from the poster
and all the stuffed
animals, Humanu!
Humanu,
Humanu!
Guys, we need
to signal Muscleman.
What are they spelling?
You're askin'
the wrong land mammal.
Let's get out of here.
I want you to
meet my friends.
I want you to
meet my friends
but I have no idea
where they are.
Can't even read "Help."
And then Impresario
told me Baywatch called
and they want
my Speedo back.
He told me to
take my look to bed
because it's tired.
(laughing)
I hope Prock and
all those guys are okay.
Hm.
(ringing sound)
At this distance,
my Perfect Vision
gets a little blurry,
but it seems like
they're at some kind
of dance party.
Really?
Fun.
That's awkward, what
with all your family stuff.
Yeah. Supervillain
dad, dead.
Supervillain
brother, in jail.
Mom...I guess the Awesomes
is my family now.
It's the only family
I've ever had.
I don't even know
who my parents are.
Wow, I didn't know that.
We did not communicate
when we were a couple.
Really was a
perfect relationship.
Just so you know,
my friends are great,
but sometimes
they come across
as a little bit
pretentious.
Okay, thanks
for warning me.
I'll wear my scarf.
And then
the human got stung
right in the arm
by a stingray.
(laughing)
Humans are
actually really smart.
They even spelled out
a whole world.
"Harlf?"
Something like that.
Ew, I can't believe
that you went to LandWorld.
Look at that
scarf, what a poser.
What did the
dolphin say?
Um, he really
likes your scarf.
You should know, Olivia,
LandWorld's doing research
and studies that they couldn't
do with humans in the wild.
It's educational.
Actually the scarf is
kinda growing on me.
Oh yeah, you have no idea.
You guys should watch
this documentary we saw.
Is there nudity?
BLACK HUMAN
and The Five White Geeks
It was a regular Thursday
at LandWorld
for six human beings
held against their will.
♪
(zapping)
♪
Wow, thank you, Jonah.
I learned so much
from that movie.
For example, those
humans are my friends
and I should go save them.
Wait, those
are the Awesomes
and you just sat
here for two hours
and watched the whole movie?
It was so informative
and more nudity
than I expected.
For as smart as they always
say humans are,
this guy is not impressive.
Hey! Not cool.
You speak dolphin?
I'm picking it up.
I'm very good with languages.
Well, if you want
to help your friends,
you're in luck, Muscleman,
because Jonah
and his friends
have been working on a plan
to break into LandWorld
and free all the land creatures.
You want to join us?
F*!% YEAH!
We gotta get out
of here, Prock.
I had to start
a prison relationship
with Gadget Gal
just to survive.
I--I know I'm gay,
but you gotta do
what you gotta do
on the inside.
Hey doll boy,
I don't remember
giving you permission
to talk to other people.
♪
(punches)
♪
Go, you're free.
Go back to living the way
mother nature intended.
Muscleman,
they can't breathe.
♪
I got this.
♪
-Hi, everyone.
-Muscleman,
you finally
rescued us.
Hey, our powers are back!
And the water is
really warm now.
Is someone
peeing right now?
That would be me.
Brilliant move,
Muscleman.
I thought it was
an old wives' tale,
but urine does combat
jellyfish poison.
Jellyfish, what are
you talkin' about?
I just thought you could pee
anywhere in the ocean.
Technically
he's right.
Well, well, well,
if it isn't my little humans.
Ready for another show?
Seaman!
But where is he?
There's only one way
to find Seaman in the dark--
a black light.
Good, I want you to see me
as I fulfill my life's goal
of destroying
the Awesomes.
But I don't understand.
-Why?
-Three reasons.
One, your father
never respected me.
Two, the earth's
greatest heroes
have ignored
the oceans for too long.
And three,
just for the "halibut."
Seaman joke!
(zapping)
♪
Fins up, boys!
♪
(lasers firing)
Call me Ishmael!
(airplane engine sound)
That's what you get
for ignorin' a true fan.
(camera phone clicking)
Hit him in the back.
Tigerfish have weak spines.
-Ow!
-I'm a tuna.
Ah! Sorry,
Charlie.
(zapping)
♪
Stop.
So how do you defeat
the King of the Sea
in the middle
of the ocean?
Also, was I dumb
to let Hotwire
and Perfect Man
stay on land
and hang out together?
No, no, it's fine.
We are a great couple
and I need to stay confident.
She's not going to be into me
if I'm one of those
jealous boyfriends.
Now, back to Seaman.
What's his weakness?
Oh, right, puns. Start.
Hey, Seaman,
I always thought
that if my father
offended you
it was an accident.
-And?
-Now I realize
he did it
on "porpoise."
Oh!
(laughing)
Oh, I don't know
why that got me.
That's just right
in my wheelhouse.
"Porpoise"
instead of "purpose."
It's like a pun
and it's about the ocean.
(laughing)
How long were you
thinking of that?
Was that off the cuff?
Muscleman, Sumo, now!
(grunting)
♪
Yes, that's from
the carbo loading.
Ain't no carbs
in seaweed.
Hey man, what color
would you say you are?
-Silver.
-That's right,
and I'm the gold.
Oh, say can you see.
Impresario, now!
Oh yeah.
Ah!
Oh no!
♪
Make sure his skin stays wet.
There's nothing worse
than dry Seaman.
It's "Sea-MAN."
Holy mackerel,
Gadget Gal,
you've known me
for 50 years.
Oh, it's true,
I've seen
a lot of Seaman
in my time.
Humanu, can I get
your autograph?
I'd love to stay in touch.
Do you have e-mail?
Yeah. It's just "Muscleman."
M-A-K-K-L-E...There's
probably an "a" in there.
I love you, Neppy.
But we both know
this could never work.
I know, but I'll never
stop thinking about you.
We'll always
have LandWorld.
Oh wait,
no we won't.
♪
(grunting and slobbering sounds)
♪
Wait, Muscleman.
I need you to do
something for me.
Look around you.
The oceans are dying.
When you get home,
I need you to tell your people
to take better care
of the ocean.
It's our only hope.
♪
I'm so impressed that
you're taking this issue
so seriously,
Muscleman.
Well, Hotwire,
I really believe
that change has
to start with us.
Off you go, boys.
(beeping)
Well, worth a shot.
(alarm ringing)
The Intruder Alarm!
♪
Dad?
♪
♪ How am I supposed
to know that you're high
if you won't
let me touch you ♪
♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh ♪
♪ How am I supposed
to know that you're high
if you won't even dance ♪
♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh ♪
♪ How am I supposed
to know that you're high
if you won't
even dance ♪
♪ Yeah, you won't
even dance ♪♪
♪
♪
(frustrated grunting)
TRANSFUSION ERROR
♪
Listen, Malocchio.
When I turned you good,
some of your blood
got into my veins,
and now I'm
turning evil.
Oh no, being evil
is the worst.
I can give you some
evil tips, though.
When you
strangle someone,
hold your hands
like this.
I can only hold
back the evil
for a couple
more minutes,
but...
(angry grunting)
(thud)
-Ooh, sorry about that.
-No problem.
Good finger
placement.
Look at me
helping you.
There is something
I need from you.
Soon I will
turn fully evil
and begin the process of
destroying all of humanity.
That's why I need you
to go back to earth
and warn
everyone about me
before I kill
everyone in the world.
(evil laughter)
Ooh, I don't
like that.
Okay, I'm off to do
the warning business,
but first
goodbye hug?
Make it quick.
You are
my friend.
Can I get your address?
I want to send you
a thank you--oh!
(evil laughter)
♪
♪ This feels
awesome ♪
♪ This feels awesome ♪
♪ Yeah, this feels awesome ♪
♪
♪ Yeah, this feels awesome ♪
♪ This feels awesome ♪
♪ This feels
awesome ♪
♪ This feels so awesome ♪♪
♪
♪
(squealing)
OceanLand's the best.
So much better
than the theme park
I went to as a kid,
Wet Place.
That was just
a damp washcloth
in the middle
of a cornfield.
Where did you
grow up again?
In the middle
of a cornfield.
I'm gonna buy
a season pass
because you save
money that way.
Don't do that. You're
never coming here again.
That's what they said to me
at the Museum of--what was it?
Oh, I only went
that one time.
-Oh my God!
-Oh my God!
-Here we go.
-It's Perfect Man!
I'm sorry, I only autograph
my official head shot.
-Aw!
-Lucky for you,
I always
carry them with me.
You're okay with him
getting all the attention?
Eh, I kind of
like him now.
Besides, he can
have everybody else
as long as I get you.
(moaning)
-Can you not get up?
-I can't.
Just set me down.
(grunting and bones cracking)
♪
It's so nice Prock
gave us the day off.
Why not? Malocchio Jr and
the P.R.I.C.K.S. are in jail,
Perfect Man stopped
an alien invasion.
-We deserve a treat.
-You know what else
would be a treat?
Cost of living increases
and a dental plan.
Who needs dental?
I got new veneers
at the dollar store.
Did I ever tell you I was a
marine biology minor in college?
Three times since we
left the shuttle bus.
I'm conflicted. I love
seeing majestic sea creatures,
but I can't help
but think we shouldn't
lock them up
for our enjoyment.
If it was up to me,
we'd lock 'em all up.
I don't trust anyone
who breathes
with gills.
Has a fish ever
hurt you, Gadget Gal?
Not yet, but
that doesn't mean
I'm letting
down my guard.
♪
Guys, come on! The Whaley
Show's about to start.
I can't wait
to see Whaley.
He's my favorite fish
in the whole world.
Technically whales aren't
fish, they're mammals.
Technically you aren't
fun to be around.
-You are a bummer.
-Frantic!
I'm sorry,
I just got
Whaley fever.
Come on,
come on, come on!
♪
(splashing)
You know,
I read dolphin fishing
is killing
all of the tuna.
It's the other way around.
Sorry, killing
all of the tuna
is dolphin fishing I read.
-Great.
-Yeah, I didn't read it.
I saw it on TV.
And now it's time
to meet our star, Whaley!
Whaley,
Whaley, Whaley!
-Wow!
-Whoa!
(applause and cheering)
He's swimmin' by!
Oh, that is great.
♪
-Whoa-hoa!
-What's going on?
It's a breakout!
(lasers firing)
♪
(seagull caws)
♪
No!
♪
(dolphins clicking)
Ah, somebody
do something!
What the hell is
wrong with you?
That's a dolphin!
Oh, I know
what it is.
Gadget Gal,
as a marine biology minor,
may I remind you
that dolphins
are just as smart
as humans?
Oh, they're smart,
all right--
too smart.
(hissing)
-Screaming at--
-Amidst the--
Prock, you should
see this.
All over the world,
fish are on the attack
in efforts to liberate
their undersea brethren.
(lasers firing)
♪
(crowd cheering)
Hey, man!
They're not
real fish, man!
♪
Looks like this day off
just turned into a day on.
-What's the plan?
-I think I know
someone who can help us:
-Seaman.
-Who's Seaman?
Known as the King
of all Waters,
Seaman is an
amphibious hero
who can control
ocean life.
He was an early member
of the Awesomes,
but he and my father
had a falling out.
-What happened?
-Seaman thought that since
Earth is two-thirds water,
he should have control
of two-thirds of the team.
I remember Seaman.
He was always trying
to make time with me.
I found Seaman
very distasteful.
"Sea-MAN."
Tell me,
Gadget Gal,
was he ever
in your hair?
Seaman was impossible
to get out of my hair.
So he was always
on your back?
If he wasn't
on my back,
Seaman was on my face.
When I was younger,
Seaman was everywhere.
-Guys, enough.
-Did you ever put him
in Tupperware and then
throw him in the freezer
to see if you could turn
him into a big ice cube?
Why would anyone
do that to Seaman?
Yes, why?
I try to join in on
the fun and I ruined it.
Yes, you did,
and when we get home,
we are buying
new Tupperware.
This is what happens
when you start
wordplay in front
of Muscleman.
So where is Seaman now?
He lives in an
undersea fortress.
Seaman, he's such
a pompous ass.
Also, I will be
sitting this one out.
I don't like the way my hair
looks when it gets wet.
I'll get the
Awesome Sub ready.
Okay, Perfect Man,
you stay here
and put OceanLand
back together.
-You too, Hotwire.
-Why?
Electricity and
water don't mix.
What, you're okay with
Hotwire staying on land
with Perfect Man?
Yeah, I am.
(cheering)
Now let's go
talk to Seaman.
We don't have
a lot of time.
But let's not be
too early
because--
I have this one--
Seaman hates it when--
bear with me--
you're premature.
No.
Oh, I don't
like submarines.
I know why you're
scared, Impresario,
but I am more than happy
to teach you how to swim.
Excuse me? Many ignorant
people like yourself
assume that I,
a black man, cannot swim,
but I will have you know
that I was state champion
in the hundred
meter backstroke.
I did not wake
at five every morning
and shave
my whole body
to suffer
your casual racism.
All right, gang,
we're almost there,
and I'm very excited
to debut a new technology
I've been working on,
Gloxaglobin.
It's an oxygen
serum that goes
directly into
the bloodstream,
allowing you
to breathe underwater
for up to 72 hours.
Pretty cool, right?
Wow, my first vaccination.
Okay, everybody,
suit up.
(grunting)
♪
I'm gonna leave
my T-shirt on.
Still fits.
Woo, look at
those gams.
Now just gotta carbo load.
Hey, that's
my Tupperware.
Dammit!
♪
I'm glad this
isn't weird,
you and I on
the same team.
I am, too.
I'll tell you something else.
I'm realizing Prock is
a better leader
than his father.
Mr. Awesome was
the best hero
the world
has ever seen,
but this might
be the best team.
That's really sweet
of you, Perfect Man.
-Want to make out?
-No.
You passed the test.
Platonic friends!
(sighs)
♪
Be prepared, everyone.
We don't know
how this is gonna go.
Seaman is a former Awesome,
but the last
time I saw him,
he was leaving
Awesome Mountain
in a fit of rage.
♪
What a wondrous
sight this is!
My old friend
Jeremy Awesome.
The last time I saw you,
you were wet
behind the ears.
Seaman joke!
Welcome to my kingdom,
a land where
everyone is invited.
I'm so happy to hear
you're not still mad.
Oh please, that's all
water under the bridge.
Seaman joke!
Sorry, I couldn't
"kelp" myself.
And done,
I'm done, I promise.
Oh, his sense of humor.
Would you call it crusty?
I call Seaman
very crusty.
Oh, oh,
thank you.
Awesomes, please accept these
tokens of my hospitality.
♪
I can hear the ocean.
Seaman, I hate to get
right down to business,
but do you know
anything about
the recent fish
attacks on land?
Hm, I find it
interesting
that you're here
to investigate
violence against humans
when our world is dying
because of your people.
My oceans have
been overfished,
polluted, and
abused for years.
Did you just throw the paper
from the gift I gave you
into my ocean?
-Sorry?
-It's fine, it's fine.
It's all water
under the bridge.
-Callback!
-Callback?
Well, I don't know
who's behind the attacks,
but you're welcome to stay
with me, and
together we will
find whoever
is responsible.
And since
you are my guests,
I hope you will join me
for a dinner tonight
in your honor.
Ho-ho-ho, I hope
we're having sushi.
Down here we call sushi
friends and family.
Oh, sorry,
in that case,
I hope we're having
friends and family
for dinner.
Wonderful.
Rest up
and I will see you soon.
My only request is
that you all attend.
Attendance is mandatory.
I have something planned
that I would hate
for anyone to miss,
so make sure
you all attend.
(chuckling)
♪
All right, we have a few
hours to kill before dinner.
Let's try and get as much
information as we can,
but remember, we are
ambassadors from the land,
so try and show the respect--
(slurping and belching)
(sighs)
♪
-You a swimmer?
-Backstroke, hundred meters.
-Minute-ten.
-Cool, uh,
I can do 45 seconds.
Very nice, very nice. Say,
you wouldn't know
anything about
these recent attacks
on land, would ya?
Sorry, Legs, we got
a saying down here:
Don't talk to nobody who
breathes through their mouth.
Hey, check out
that hot mermaid.
-Very nice.
-No, not her,
her.
♪
Oh!
Legs for days
and gills for weeks.
Oh my God,
oh my God,
it's Whaley!
Mr. Whaley,
I am your biggest fan.
Can't you see I'm busy?
(coughing)
And Whaley's what
my captors call me.
My real name is...
(whale song)
Never meet your heroes.
Same thing happened
when I met André Leon
Talley in Milan.
-Was he rude?
-No, he was really nice.
-I was lookin' for sass.
-Hey.
I won't make it
to dinner tonight.
Got a date with Neppy.
I'm pretty sure Seaman
wanted us all to come to dinner.
Also, aren't you grossed
out that she has a fish head?
Yeah, but she's human
in all the right places.
(chuckling)
Why does Neppy
always get all the guys?
Oh, we're hideous!
(sobbing)
Since when have you
been so good with tools?
Since when? I have an
engineering degree from MIT.
I built the Metal Fella
suit from scratch?
-I assumed that came from a kit.
-It didn't.
Have you always been
interested in electricity?
I have electrical powers.
Oh, Hotwire.
I always thought it was
because you were hot.
I suppose I deserve
some blame for that.
Well, I think
our work is done.
Ho-ho-ho, arcade!
♪
This song is
so sad and beautiful.
It's called
"Human Trap."
You know,
I'm a marine biologist.
-Cool.
-Threadfin rainbowfish.
-Salmon.
-Thank you, everyone.
I'd like to formerly welcome
the Awesomes to our city.
-Wait, where's Muscleman?
-I'm so sorry.
He ended up having
another commitment.
For real? 'Cause I'm pretty
sure the one thing I said
was that everyone
had to be here tonight.
He's being
incredibly "shellfish."
Seaman joke!
My sincerest
apologies, Seaman.
You know,
it's not often
our friends
from the land
make the effort
to come down here.
It's just too bad that
I only get to see you
for a couple days.
I wish you could
stay longer,
like, I don't know,
forever?
(maniacal laughter)
(zapping)
(grunting)
We've been
poisoned by Seaman.
How dare he!
-The balls!
-The best.
For years, the ocean
has served humans as food,
entertainment,
a dumping ground,
but now the tables
have turned.
I've built an
entire theme park
that puts humans on the
other side of the fishbowl.
The Awesomes will
now be my crown jewel,
the main attraction
of LandWorld!
♪
Do you offer
season passes?
Not sure it's right
to be playing skee ball
while our team is down
there in possible danger.
I'm worried.
Well, it's showing
in your game.
Ooh, I'm gonna get Frantic
a stuffed Whaley.
-I think he'll like that.
-That's nice.
I have to say,
Perfect Man,
I thought once
everything died down
you'd set out
on your own again.
I'm surprised you
stayed with the team.
Me too--oh!--
but they need me.
It's great for my brand.
Ho-ho, free laundry, yup,
and most importantly,
it's the first time
in my life I've had friends.
For some reason
I've had a hard time
making them in the past.
Hoo-hoo!
I win
and you stink.
Perfect Man rules!
Hey, what's going on?
(grunting)
What the heck?
I'm walkin' slower
than the lines
at Wet Place.
Our powers must not work
because of the poison.
Stop it, everyone,
we need to rest.
Jellyfish venom causes cells
to become porous enough
to allow
potassium leakage,
which can lead to
cardiovascular collapse
and even death.
I took a jellyfish class
for my minor.
-It was in--
-We know!
Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Do humans want
some yum yums?
Better come
and do a trick.
The Awesomes will
never perform for you,
do you hear me?
Never.
♪
♪ Hey, man,
look at
that mermaid ♪
Come on!
♪ Can you
even call her
mermaid? ♪
♪ Whether or not,
she's technically a mermaid ♪
(laughing)
♪ Take a chance
and smooch those lips ♪♪
♪
(grunting and slobbering sounds)
Hey, what are you doing later?
There's this cool new
theme park we could check out.
Oh yeah? I love
theme parks.
(grunting and slobbering sounds)
(vomiting)
♪
What a wondrous
sight this is.
And now the main
attraction, LandWorld!
I just don't know
if the ocean should be
appropriating
gay culture like this.
Oh, Frantic,
you learned a word.
Yeah, been brushin'
up on my gay history.
I'm confused. How is dressing up
like human civilians gay?
I am loving this
vest, by the way.
Dance, humans, dance!
♪
(laughing)
This is great.
Oh, I just wish
Gadget Gal,
Concierge,
Frantic, Hotwire,
Impresario, and Prock
were here to see this.
Get your surfer hands here,
fresh surfer hands.
Yes, please.
I guess my diet
starts tomorrow.
Hey look,
there's Muscleman.
-Muscleman!
-Muscleman!
-Help, help!
-Muscleman!
-Help!
-Stick with the act.
Oh my God! It's
the guy from the poster
and all the stuffed
animals, Humanu!
Humanu,
Humanu!
Guys, we need
to signal Muscleman.
What are they spelling?
You're askin'
the wrong land mammal.
Let's get out of here.
I want you to
meet my friends.
I want you to
meet my friends
but I have no idea
where they are.
Can't even read "Help."
And then Impresario
told me Baywatch called
and they want
my Speedo back.
He told me to
take my look to bed
because it's tired.
(laughing)
I hope Prock and
all those guys are okay.
Hm.
(ringing sound)
At this distance,
my Perfect Vision
gets a little blurry,
but it seems like
they're at some kind
of dance party.
Really?
Fun.
That's awkward, what
with all your family stuff.
Yeah. Supervillain
dad, dead.
Supervillain
brother, in jail.
Mom...I guess the Awesomes
is my family now.
It's the only family
I've ever had.
I don't even know
who my parents are.
Wow, I didn't know that.
We did not communicate
when we were a couple.
Really was a
perfect relationship.
Just so you know,
my friends are great,
but sometimes
they come across
as a little bit
pretentious.
Okay, thanks
for warning me.
I'll wear my scarf.
And then
the human got stung
right in the arm
by a stingray.
(laughing)
Humans are
actually really smart.
They even spelled out
a whole world.
"Harlf?"
Something like that.
Ew, I can't believe
that you went to LandWorld.
Look at that
scarf, what a poser.
What did the
dolphin say?
Um, he really
likes your scarf.
You should know, Olivia,
LandWorld's doing research
and studies that they couldn't
do with humans in the wild.
It's educational.
Actually the scarf is
kinda growing on me.
Oh yeah, you have no idea.
You guys should watch
this documentary we saw.
Is there nudity?
BLACK HUMAN
and The Five White Geeks
It was a regular Thursday
at LandWorld
for six human beings
held against their will.
♪
(zapping)
♪
Wow, thank you, Jonah.
I learned so much
from that movie.
For example, those
humans are my friends
and I should go save them.
Wait, those
are the Awesomes
and you just sat
here for two hours
and watched the whole movie?
It was so informative
and more nudity
than I expected.
For as smart as they always
say humans are,
this guy is not impressive.
Hey! Not cool.
You speak dolphin?
I'm picking it up.
I'm very good with languages.
Well, if you want
to help your friends,
you're in luck, Muscleman,
because Jonah
and his friends
have been working on a plan
to break into LandWorld
and free all the land creatures.
You want to join us?
F*!% YEAH!
We gotta get out
of here, Prock.
I had to start
a prison relationship
with Gadget Gal
just to survive.
I--I know I'm gay,
but you gotta do
what you gotta do
on the inside.
Hey doll boy,
I don't remember
giving you permission
to talk to other people.
♪
(punches)
♪
Go, you're free.
Go back to living the way
mother nature intended.
Muscleman,
they can't breathe.
♪
I got this.
♪
-Hi, everyone.
-Muscleman,
you finally
rescued us.
Hey, our powers are back!
And the water is
really warm now.
Is someone
peeing right now?
That would be me.
Brilliant move,
Muscleman.
I thought it was
an old wives' tale,
but urine does combat
jellyfish poison.
Jellyfish, what are
you talkin' about?
I just thought you could pee
anywhere in the ocean.
Technically
he's right.
Well, well, well,
if it isn't my little humans.
Ready for another show?
Seaman!
But where is he?
There's only one way
to find Seaman in the dark--
a black light.
Good, I want you to see me
as I fulfill my life's goal
of destroying
the Awesomes.
But I don't understand.
-Why?
-Three reasons.
One, your father
never respected me.
Two, the earth's
greatest heroes
have ignored
the oceans for too long.
And three,
just for the "halibut."
Seaman joke!
(zapping)
♪
Fins up, boys!
♪
(lasers firing)
Call me Ishmael!
(airplane engine sound)
That's what you get
for ignorin' a true fan.
(camera phone clicking)
Hit him in the back.
Tigerfish have weak spines.
-Ow!
-I'm a tuna.
Ah! Sorry,
Charlie.
(zapping)
♪
Stop.
So how do you defeat
the King of the Sea
in the middle
of the ocean?
Also, was I dumb
to let Hotwire
and Perfect Man
stay on land
and hang out together?
No, no, it's fine.
We are a great couple
and I need to stay confident.
She's not going to be into me
if I'm one of those
jealous boyfriends.
Now, back to Seaman.
What's his weakness?
Oh, right, puns. Start.
Hey, Seaman,
I always thought
that if my father
offended you
it was an accident.
-And?
-Now I realize
he did it
on "porpoise."
Oh!
(laughing)
Oh, I don't know
why that got me.
That's just right
in my wheelhouse.
"Porpoise"
instead of "purpose."
It's like a pun
and it's about the ocean.
(laughing)
How long were you
thinking of that?
Was that off the cuff?
Muscleman, Sumo, now!
(grunting)
♪
Yes, that's from
the carbo loading.
Ain't no carbs
in seaweed.
Hey man, what color
would you say you are?
-Silver.
-That's right,
and I'm the gold.
Oh, say can you see.
Impresario, now!
Oh yeah.
Ah!
Oh no!
♪
Make sure his skin stays wet.
There's nothing worse
than dry Seaman.
It's "Sea-MAN."
Holy mackerel,
Gadget Gal,
you've known me
for 50 years.
Oh, it's true,
I've seen
a lot of Seaman
in my time.
Humanu, can I get
your autograph?
I'd love to stay in touch.
Do you have e-mail?
Yeah. It's just "Muscleman."
M-A-K-K-L-E...There's
probably an "a" in there.
I love you, Neppy.
But we both know
this could never work.
I know, but I'll never
stop thinking about you.
We'll always
have LandWorld.
Oh wait,
no we won't.
♪
(grunting and slobbering sounds)
♪
Wait, Muscleman.
I need you to do
something for me.
Look around you.
The oceans are dying.
When you get home,
I need you to tell your people
to take better care
of the ocean.
It's our only hope.
♪
I'm so impressed that
you're taking this issue
so seriously,
Muscleman.
Well, Hotwire,
I really believe
that change has
to start with us.
Off you go, boys.
(beeping)
Well, worth a shot.
(alarm ringing)
The Intruder Alarm!
♪
Dad?
♪
♪ How am I supposed
to know that you're high
if you won't
let me touch you ♪
♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh ♪
♪ How am I supposed
to know that you're high
if you won't even dance ♪
♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh ♪
♪ How am I supposed
to know that you're high
if you won't
even dance ♪
♪ Yeah, you won't
even dance ♪♪
♪
♪