The Andy Griffith Show (1960–1968): Season 3, Episode 14 - One-Punch Opie - full transcript
There's a new boy in town, Steve Quincy, and Opie seems to have become the object of his ridicule and has take to calling him Dopie and the like. Steve talks tough and tells Opie that if he doesn't like it, then he should do something about it. Opie backs down but soon Steve is leading the other boys down the path of delinquency by stealing from the grocer's stand and breaking a street lamp. Andy is concerned and gives the boys - minus Steve who refused to see him - a severe tongue lashing. But it's left to Opie to confront Steve who isn't as tough as he's made himself out to be.
Starring Andy Griffith...
With Ronny Howard...
Also starring Don knotts.
Okay, pa, I emptied out
the baskets.
Good, good. Take
care of that pile
of newspapers in the back?
Gosh, no, pa.
Can't I take care of that later?
I'm supposed to go fishing
with the gang,
and they're all waitin' for me.
No, ope.
You're supposed to...
Please, can I go?
I promise I'll do it
right after I get home
from fishing.
Huh, pa
well...all right,
you can go.
But you do it just
soon as you get back.
Okay, pa, I promise.
Thanks.
Okay.
Put this in the traffic
file, will you?
Andy, I, uh...
I never have interfered
in your family life, have I?
Huh?
I never interfere
in anything that goes on
between you and ope, right?
Right.
I mean, if there's one thing
I can't stand,
it's family interferers.
Me, too.
A man ought to raise his child
in his own way
without any outside interferers.
It's his son.
It's his business.
And everybody else ought to
just stay out of it.
That's true.
But I got to tell you,
you just made a mistake
with your boy.
What?
The boy was given a chore to do.
He should have done it
and not be allowed
to do anything
until it was finished.
Well, Barney, he said...
I know what he said
and I know what you said.
And I'll tell you one thing,
this would never happen
with my son.
I didn't know you had a son.
Well, I don't.
Not yet.
Oh, you're gonna have a son.
Well, sure.
Any reason why not?
Well, no, none at all.
I think that's wonderful,
Barney.
Who's the mother?
Mother? I don't know
who the mother is.
The name ain't important.
Well, it is important, too.
You expect a woman
to raise you a family,
you got to at least be friendly
enough to call her by her name.
All I'm saying is,
if I meet a girl
and if I fall in love
and if we get married
and if we have a child
and if that child is a boy
and if I give him a chore to do,
he will finish that chore
and then... only then... will he
be allowed to go fishing.
Oh, oh, I see, I see.
In other words, you plan on
being firm with the boy?
Right. After all, it's for his
own good you're doing this.
I mean, someday,
when he's grown up,
he'll be on a job
and his boss will give him
something to do.
He'll have to do it, won't he?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh, Barn, do you, uh...
Do you think of me
as the boss around here?
Huh?
I say, do you consider me
the boss?
Well, yeah.
Good, good.
Uh, I gave you some work to do.
Now, uh, do it.
What?
I asked you to file those.
Now do it.
Or, if you like, you could give
it to your boy to do.
Then and only then
will he be allowed
to go fishing.
Oh, but I mean, I don't want to
interfere with your family life,
though, Barn.
I don't want to interfere
with anything
that goes on between you
and-and what's-his-name.
Because if there's one thing I
can't stand,
it's a family interferer.
Had enough?
Who's next?
Anyone else want
to Indian wrestle?
Okay, what do you guys
want to do?
Well, we're planning on
going fishing.
Fishing?
You kidding?
No. We like
fishing.
Oh, boy, is that
what you guys do around here?
Yeah. What's wrong with that?
What's wrong?
It's stupid.
Well, what do you want to do?
Well, let's have some fun.
Let's go and swipe some apples.
That's more fun than fishing.
Well, come on, you guys.
Let's go.
Come on.
Hi. You guys
all set?
All set for what?
We're going to go fishing.
Who are you?
His name's Steve Quincy.
He just moved here.
Who are you?
Opie. Opie Taylor.
His pop's the sheriff.
Big deal.
Well, the guys
ain't going fishing.
You're not?
No. We're going
to do something
that's more fun than fishing.
We're going to swipe
some apples.
You coming with us?
I'd rather go fishing.
He'd rather go fishing.
What'd you say your name was?
Opie or dopey?
Don't call me names.
Why? What are you going
to do about it?
Huh
what are you going
to do about it?
That's what I thought.
You're chicken.
Come on, you guys.
Let's go get some
of those apples.
Oh, yeah.
Well, that's good.
Well, that is good news.
All right, I'll talk
to you later.
Charlie eavers rented his house
on grove street
to some people from out of town.
Who are they?
I don't know.
You don't know anything
about the folks moving in?
Anything we need to know
we can find out from aunt bee.
Watch this.
Yeah, that's real good news
about Charlie renting
his house on grove street
to them people from out of town.
I understand the fella's
a insurance man or something
and they don't have any children
and they come from
somewhere in Tennessee
and, uh, I believe I heard
their name was something like
mackadoo, I believe it was.
No, no, no,
you've got it all wrong.
The name isn't mackadoo.
It's Quincy.
And they do have a child,
a boy named Steve, age nine,
and they come from Richmond.
And he is not an insurance man.
He is a salesman, selling
farm implements of some sort.
He's on the
road a lot of the time.
She was married once before
to somebody in the service.
And just before she came here,
she had an operation
on her foot.
Uh, you happen to know what they
had for breakfast this morning?
Well, how would I know that?
I'm not a snoop, you know.
Hi, aunt bee.
Oh, hello, Opie.
Well, hi, ope.
Back so soon?
Pa, how much longer you
going to be sheriff?
Well, I don't know.
A while yet.
But maybe someday you'll stop
being sheriff, huh?
I suppose I could.
You seem mighty anxious for me
to give up this line of work.
I don't mean for good, pa,
but is there any way
you could stop being sheriff
for maybe just 10 or 15 minutes?
Why?
Well...
As long as you're sheriff,
I can't fight or nothing.
Oh, I see.
You got in mind
to fight somebody, is that it?
I'll tell you
something, young man,
even if I wasn't the sheriff,
I wouldn't let you go around
starting up fights.
I'm not starting it up.
It's already been started.
I just want to get in on it.
If somebody else
starts it up, Andy,
I don't see no reason why Opie
can't take care of himself.
I never said the boy
couldn't defend hisself.
I just said I didn't want him
going around starting up fights.
Ope, let me just give
you a few pointers
on how to handle rowdies.
The first thing you do
is to get the psychological edge
on your adversary
by showing supreme confidence.
How do you do that?
You stand your ground.
You brace yourself in case
he throws that first punch
and then you just look him
straight in the eyes like this.
Like this, Barney?
Yeah, that's coming.
Close your eyes a little more.
And then if you have any trouble
closing them, why, your opponent
will close them for you.
Andy, there's a time for kidding
and a time for serious.
Now this is it.
Sorry.
Now, the next thing
in self-defense
is muscle control.
When you brace yourself
for that first punch,
you make yourself hard all over
and nothing can hurt you.
Let me show you.
Now you hit me right there
just as hard as you can.
It won't make a dent.
Go ahead, ope.
It's okay.
Come on, ope.
See, I'm braced. See?
You can't hurt me.
Come on, all you got.
Uh...
Ope, you want...
You want to help Barn
into that chair there?
Did that hurt, Barney?
No, that didn't hurt him.
'Cause he was braced for it,
weren't you, Barn?
Now, uh, who is this boy
you want to fight, ope?
The new kid that
just moved into town.
Oh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
And the boys went off with him
instead of going fishing
with you, is that it?
Yeah, but...
You can't fight him for that.
If the boys decide they'd
rather do something else,
you'll just have to go
along with it.
He called me names, too.
That ain't never
going to hurt you.
You liable just to have to
go out there
and see if you can't find
something you like
about this new boy.
Well...
Okay, pa, I'll try.
That's the time.
Go on.
Bye, Barney.
Mm-hmm.
Apple core!
Throw it some more.
Who's your friend?
Billy!
I got royaled.
Aw, come on, you guys.
Aw, come on, you guys.
Well, look who's here.
Dopey Opie, the big fisherman.
Hey, you know, you could
save yourself some time...
Dopey.
Whenever you want to fish,
just go down
to the grocery store,
cop yourself a can of tuna.
Then you'd have your fish
and you wouldn't be so
dopey.
Apple core, Baltimore Billy.
Don't worry.
I'm not going
to throw it at you.
Hey, you any good at throwing?
Yeah, pretty good.
Think you could hit something
as big as a pumpkin?
Well, sure.
Okay, let's see you hit
that street light.
Well?
Come on.
Call that throwing?
Here. Try it again.
And this time more like...
This.
Hey, you guys! The sheriff!
Let's get out of here
come on.
What's this all about?
I asked you a question.
Did you break that street light?
No, pa.
I threw one,
but I didn't break it.
Honest, I didn't.
Well, who did?
All right...
I'll tell you what you'll do.
You go round up
all your friends...
All them boys that stand here
when I come up...
Tell them to come to my office.
You tell them the sheriff wants
to have a little talk with them.
You understand that?
Get going.
I don't like it.
I don't like it one bit.
I tell you, this is just
the beginning.
Going around breaking
street lamps.
City property, mind you.
Next thing you know,
they'll be on motorcycles,
wearing them leather jackets
and zooming around.
They'll take over
the whole town...
A reign of terror.
These are just boys
you're talking about.
They're only
about eight years old.
Yeah, well, today's
eight-year-olds
are tomorrow's teenagers.
I say this calls
for action, and now...
Nip it in the bud!
First sign a youngster's
going wrong,
you got to nip it in the bud.
I'm gonna have a talk with them.
What more you want me to do?
Just don't Molly-colly.
I won't.
Nip it. Go read
any book you want
on the subject
of child discipline,
and you'll find
that every one of them
is in favor of bud nipping.
I'll take care of it.
Only one way to take care of it.
Nip it...
In the bud.
Right. Now, I'll...
All right, come on
over here, boys.
Is this everybody?
Just about.
What do you mean, just about?
Steve Quincy
didn't want to come.
Said he didn't have to.
Uh-huh.
Well, just to start with,
let me say I'm mighty surprised
at all you boys.
Billy gray and Carter
and the rest of you,
you know better than
to go around town
breaking up public property.
Now, we didn't have
this kind of trouble
out of you boys before.
What made you get started now?
Well, I'll tell you
what we'll do.
We'll just let it go
at a warning this time.
But if I catch any of you
doing any more of this,
I'm going straight
to your daddies.
I reckon you know
what that means.
Yes, sir, that means
you're in for a whipping.
All right, you can go now.
But you remember,
behave yourselves.
You tell that new boy
the same goes for him.
Just a minute, boys.
Andy, I'd like to say something
if you don't mind.
Uh...barney...
Please, this is important.
Now, boys, I'd like to just add
a word or two to what
the sheriff has said
so as to make everything
absolutely clear.
I think it's only
fair to warn you
that if you keep on
getting into trouble
and breaking the law,
it can only lead to one thing:
Incarceration.
Now, I know none of you
likes the idea of
being incarcerated.
The idea does scare you
a little bit, doesn't it?
Yeah, and we don't even know
what it means.
Well, to be incarcerated...
I know what it means.
It's like when a doctor
gives you a shot.
No. No, that's
"inoculated."
No, I mean "jailed,"
"locked up."
Now, boys, if you'll just
step over here a minute...
Uh, Barney, I...
Andy, please, I'm not finished.
Boys, these are our
maximum-security cells.
This is where convicted
persons are inoculated.
"Incarcerated."
What did I say?
"Inoculated."
Like where
the doctor gives you a shot?
Oh, they know what I meant.
Yes, boys, take a good look.
This is the last stop
on the road of crime.
A man confined
to prison is a man
who has given up his Liberty...
His pursuit of happiness.
No more carefree hours.
No more doing whatever you want
whenever you want.
No more peanut butter
and jelly sandwiches.
A man in prison
is under 24-hour surveillance.
All his activity
is laid out for him
until he has paid
his debt to society.
Yes.
Why can't you have
peanut butter in prison?
Where did it all begin?
Barn...
It began one fine day
on a street corner
when he broke a street lamp.
Barney...
Where did it all end?
Right here.
Yes, take a good look, boys...
Because it definitely is no fun
when that iron door
clangs shut on you.
It, uh...Definitely is no fun.
I, uh...I believe
that's all the, uh,
deputy had to say.
Come on, boys,
you can go home now.
But, remember,
behave yourselves.
Well...
Got yourself a little
incarcerated, didn't you?
Get the key.
"No more carefree hours.
"No more doing what you want to
when you want to.
No more peanut butter
and jelly sandwiches."
Get the key.
I'll tell you what we'll do
in your case, though.
If you're good...
If you're very good...
We'll throw some peanuts
in your cell,
you can jump up and down on them
make your own peanut butter.
Are you going to get the key?
Open this door!
Oh. You, uh, you figured
you paid your debt to society?
Oh, all right. We'll, uh...
We'll let you out.
All right, you can go.
But remember,
"it is definitely no fun
when that iron door
clangs shut on you."
You belong in the funny
papers, you know that?
Get you a wig and a dress
and you're another
emmie schmaltz.
The boys will be ready
to go pretty soon.
Go on back and get
your tackle box.
Okay, pa.
You going fishing?
Yeah. I thought
I'd take ope and his friends.
Them boys who was
in here yesterday?
Sure. Why not?
Well, nothing.
It's just that the way they've
been carrying on,
I don't see how
they're gonna go in
for anything as tame as fishing.
I expect that little talk we had
would have straightened them out.
You ready, ope?
Almost, pa.
I still don't think them boys...
Sheriff, you got
to do something.
What's the trouble?
It's them boys.
They came by my store,
marked up my windows,
grabbed some tomatoes and ran.
You got to go after them.
Did you see who it was?
That wasn't the worst.
When I run after them,
one of them
starting throwing at me.
Look at my apron.
And with my own tomatoes.
Who did that?
New boy. Never saw him before.
What's got into youngsters
around here lately?
So, you got everything
all straightened out, huh?
And now you're going to take
the little angels fishing?
Barney...
Don't Barney me.
This is what comes
from Molly-collying.
What are you gonna do now, have
another little talk with them?
No. I'm gonna have a little talk
with their daddies
like I said I was.
And you think
that's the solution?
No. Not entirely.
That won't stop it altogether.
But get their dads
to tan their hides,
it'll slow it down a good bit.
Y-Y-Yeah.
That Billy gray
and Carter French
and the rest of them boys,
they never gave us
any trouble before.
I get the feeling like they're
just following around
after this new boy...
Quincy, what's his name.
They quit on him,
and all this mischief will stop.
He wouldn't run around
cutting up all by himself.
Just when will they quit on him?
As soon as they find out
he's just getting them
into more and more trouble.
Well, meantime, like you say,
a little spank here and there
ain't gonna hurt nothing.
No, it's not.
Let's go.
Oh, ope, I'm gonna have
to put off that fishing trip.
I got something
I got to take care of.
It's okay, pa.
Well, look who's here.
Dopey Opie in person.
You stole those tomatoes
off Mr. Foley.
So?
You going to make
something out of it?
Oh, so you want to fight?
Okay.
Just step across this line.
All right.
Knock this off my shoulder.
I dare ya.
Oh, so you want to fight, huh?
Just step inside
this circle just once.
Boy, lucky for you,
I got my good pants on.
Why don't you go home
and change?
Opie will wait.
Won't you, Opie?
Besides...
We had a plan before you came.
We're going back to foley's
and get us some peaches.
Right, guys?
Boy, you guys are sure no fun.
I'm going home.
We're going fishing.
Let's go, come on!
Yeah! Yeah!
And we never did fight, pa.
Never got to it.
Not even one punch?
Not even one punch.
Oh, that's the way.
That's the way.
Where's your friends now?
They're coming by to pick me up.
We're goin' fishing.
Oh, good, good.
Well, you can say what you like,
and I ain't taking nothing away
from the way you stood up
to that new boy, ope.
It was good you did that.
But you know what I think
had a good effect
on them young fellers?
What?
That little speech I gave them.
You know, about being locked up.
Yep, they definitely
did not like the idea
of being locked up.
Remember what I said to them?
You know, about no more carefree
hours and the rest of it?
I'm sure that helped, Barn.
Are you kidding?
There's plenty of catfish.
Hi, ope.
Hi, Leon.
Oh, hi, Leon.
Close the door, will you?
No, Leon.
Not this door.
I meant the...
He can't have that, Leon.
No more carefree hours.
No more peanut butter
and jelly sandwiches.
Right, Barn?
With Ronny Howard...
Also starring Don knotts.
Okay, pa, I emptied out
the baskets.
Good, good. Take
care of that pile
of newspapers in the back?
Gosh, no, pa.
Can't I take care of that later?
I'm supposed to go fishing
with the gang,
and they're all waitin' for me.
No, ope.
You're supposed to...
Please, can I go?
I promise I'll do it
right after I get home
from fishing.
Huh, pa
well...all right,
you can go.
But you do it just
soon as you get back.
Okay, pa, I promise.
Thanks.
Okay.
Put this in the traffic
file, will you?
Andy, I, uh...
I never have interfered
in your family life, have I?
Huh?
I never interfere
in anything that goes on
between you and ope, right?
Right.
I mean, if there's one thing
I can't stand,
it's family interferers.
Me, too.
A man ought to raise his child
in his own way
without any outside interferers.
It's his son.
It's his business.
And everybody else ought to
just stay out of it.
That's true.
But I got to tell you,
you just made a mistake
with your boy.
What?
The boy was given a chore to do.
He should have done it
and not be allowed
to do anything
until it was finished.
Well, Barney, he said...
I know what he said
and I know what you said.
And I'll tell you one thing,
this would never happen
with my son.
I didn't know you had a son.
Well, I don't.
Not yet.
Oh, you're gonna have a son.
Well, sure.
Any reason why not?
Well, no, none at all.
I think that's wonderful,
Barney.
Who's the mother?
Mother? I don't know
who the mother is.
The name ain't important.
Well, it is important, too.
You expect a woman
to raise you a family,
you got to at least be friendly
enough to call her by her name.
All I'm saying is,
if I meet a girl
and if I fall in love
and if we get married
and if we have a child
and if that child is a boy
and if I give him a chore to do,
he will finish that chore
and then... only then... will he
be allowed to go fishing.
Oh, oh, I see, I see.
In other words, you plan on
being firm with the boy?
Right. After all, it's for his
own good you're doing this.
I mean, someday,
when he's grown up,
he'll be on a job
and his boss will give him
something to do.
He'll have to do it, won't he?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh, Barn, do you, uh...
Do you think of me
as the boss around here?
Huh?
I say, do you consider me
the boss?
Well, yeah.
Good, good.
Uh, I gave you some work to do.
Now, uh, do it.
What?
I asked you to file those.
Now do it.
Or, if you like, you could give
it to your boy to do.
Then and only then
will he be allowed
to go fishing.
Oh, but I mean, I don't want to
interfere with your family life,
though, Barn.
I don't want to interfere
with anything
that goes on between you
and-and what's-his-name.
Because if there's one thing I
can't stand,
it's a family interferer.
Had enough?
Who's next?
Anyone else want
to Indian wrestle?
Okay, what do you guys
want to do?
Well, we're planning on
going fishing.
Fishing?
You kidding?
No. We like
fishing.
Oh, boy, is that
what you guys do around here?
Yeah. What's wrong with that?
What's wrong?
It's stupid.
Well, what do you want to do?
Well, let's have some fun.
Let's go and swipe some apples.
That's more fun than fishing.
Well, come on, you guys.
Let's go.
Come on.
Hi. You guys
all set?
All set for what?
We're going to go fishing.
Who are you?
His name's Steve Quincy.
He just moved here.
Who are you?
Opie. Opie Taylor.
His pop's the sheriff.
Big deal.
Well, the guys
ain't going fishing.
You're not?
No. We're going
to do something
that's more fun than fishing.
We're going to swipe
some apples.
You coming with us?
I'd rather go fishing.
He'd rather go fishing.
What'd you say your name was?
Opie or dopey?
Don't call me names.
Why? What are you going
to do about it?
Huh
what are you going
to do about it?
That's what I thought.
You're chicken.
Come on, you guys.
Let's go get some
of those apples.
Oh, yeah.
Well, that's good.
Well, that is good news.
All right, I'll talk
to you later.
Charlie eavers rented his house
on grove street
to some people from out of town.
Who are they?
I don't know.
You don't know anything
about the folks moving in?
Anything we need to know
we can find out from aunt bee.
Watch this.
Yeah, that's real good news
about Charlie renting
his house on grove street
to them people from out of town.
I understand the fella's
a insurance man or something
and they don't have any children
and they come from
somewhere in Tennessee
and, uh, I believe I heard
their name was something like
mackadoo, I believe it was.
No, no, no,
you've got it all wrong.
The name isn't mackadoo.
It's Quincy.
And they do have a child,
a boy named Steve, age nine,
and they come from Richmond.
And he is not an insurance man.
He is a salesman, selling
farm implements of some sort.
He's on the
road a lot of the time.
She was married once before
to somebody in the service.
And just before she came here,
she had an operation
on her foot.
Uh, you happen to know what they
had for breakfast this morning?
Well, how would I know that?
I'm not a snoop, you know.
Hi, aunt bee.
Oh, hello, Opie.
Well, hi, ope.
Back so soon?
Pa, how much longer you
going to be sheriff?
Well, I don't know.
A while yet.
But maybe someday you'll stop
being sheriff, huh?
I suppose I could.
You seem mighty anxious for me
to give up this line of work.
I don't mean for good, pa,
but is there any way
you could stop being sheriff
for maybe just 10 or 15 minutes?
Why?
Well...
As long as you're sheriff,
I can't fight or nothing.
Oh, I see.
You got in mind
to fight somebody, is that it?
I'll tell you
something, young man,
even if I wasn't the sheriff,
I wouldn't let you go around
starting up fights.
I'm not starting it up.
It's already been started.
I just want to get in on it.
If somebody else
starts it up, Andy,
I don't see no reason why Opie
can't take care of himself.
I never said the boy
couldn't defend hisself.
I just said I didn't want him
going around starting up fights.
Ope, let me just give
you a few pointers
on how to handle rowdies.
The first thing you do
is to get the psychological edge
on your adversary
by showing supreme confidence.
How do you do that?
You stand your ground.
You brace yourself in case
he throws that first punch
and then you just look him
straight in the eyes like this.
Like this, Barney?
Yeah, that's coming.
Close your eyes a little more.
And then if you have any trouble
closing them, why, your opponent
will close them for you.
Andy, there's a time for kidding
and a time for serious.
Now this is it.
Sorry.
Now, the next thing
in self-defense
is muscle control.
When you brace yourself
for that first punch,
you make yourself hard all over
and nothing can hurt you.
Let me show you.
Now you hit me right there
just as hard as you can.
It won't make a dent.
Go ahead, ope.
It's okay.
Come on, ope.
See, I'm braced. See?
You can't hurt me.
Come on, all you got.
Uh...
Ope, you want...
You want to help Barn
into that chair there?
Did that hurt, Barney?
No, that didn't hurt him.
'Cause he was braced for it,
weren't you, Barn?
Now, uh, who is this boy
you want to fight, ope?
The new kid that
just moved into town.
Oh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
And the boys went off with him
instead of going fishing
with you, is that it?
Yeah, but...
You can't fight him for that.
If the boys decide they'd
rather do something else,
you'll just have to go
along with it.
He called me names, too.
That ain't never
going to hurt you.
You liable just to have to
go out there
and see if you can't find
something you like
about this new boy.
Well...
Okay, pa, I'll try.
That's the time.
Go on.
Bye, Barney.
Mm-hmm.
Apple core!
Throw it some more.
Who's your friend?
Billy!
I got royaled.
Aw, come on, you guys.
Aw, come on, you guys.
Well, look who's here.
Dopey Opie, the big fisherman.
Hey, you know, you could
save yourself some time...
Dopey.
Whenever you want to fish,
just go down
to the grocery store,
cop yourself a can of tuna.
Then you'd have your fish
and you wouldn't be so
dopey.
Apple core, Baltimore Billy.
Don't worry.
I'm not going
to throw it at you.
Hey, you any good at throwing?
Yeah, pretty good.
Think you could hit something
as big as a pumpkin?
Well, sure.
Okay, let's see you hit
that street light.
Well?
Come on.
Call that throwing?
Here. Try it again.
And this time more like...
This.
Hey, you guys! The sheriff!
Let's get out of here
come on.
What's this all about?
I asked you a question.
Did you break that street light?
No, pa.
I threw one,
but I didn't break it.
Honest, I didn't.
Well, who did?
All right...
I'll tell you what you'll do.
You go round up
all your friends...
All them boys that stand here
when I come up...
Tell them to come to my office.
You tell them the sheriff wants
to have a little talk with them.
You understand that?
Get going.
I don't like it.
I don't like it one bit.
I tell you, this is just
the beginning.
Going around breaking
street lamps.
City property, mind you.
Next thing you know,
they'll be on motorcycles,
wearing them leather jackets
and zooming around.
They'll take over
the whole town...
A reign of terror.
These are just boys
you're talking about.
They're only
about eight years old.
Yeah, well, today's
eight-year-olds
are tomorrow's teenagers.
I say this calls
for action, and now...
Nip it in the bud!
First sign a youngster's
going wrong,
you got to nip it in the bud.
I'm gonna have a talk with them.
What more you want me to do?
Just don't Molly-colly.
I won't.
Nip it. Go read
any book you want
on the subject
of child discipline,
and you'll find
that every one of them
is in favor of bud nipping.
I'll take care of it.
Only one way to take care of it.
Nip it...
In the bud.
Right. Now, I'll...
All right, come on
over here, boys.
Is this everybody?
Just about.
What do you mean, just about?
Steve Quincy
didn't want to come.
Said he didn't have to.
Uh-huh.
Well, just to start with,
let me say I'm mighty surprised
at all you boys.
Billy gray and Carter
and the rest of you,
you know better than
to go around town
breaking up public property.
Now, we didn't have
this kind of trouble
out of you boys before.
What made you get started now?
Well, I'll tell you
what we'll do.
We'll just let it go
at a warning this time.
But if I catch any of you
doing any more of this,
I'm going straight
to your daddies.
I reckon you know
what that means.
Yes, sir, that means
you're in for a whipping.
All right, you can go now.
But you remember,
behave yourselves.
You tell that new boy
the same goes for him.
Just a minute, boys.
Andy, I'd like to say something
if you don't mind.
Uh...barney...
Please, this is important.
Now, boys, I'd like to just add
a word or two to what
the sheriff has said
so as to make everything
absolutely clear.
I think it's only
fair to warn you
that if you keep on
getting into trouble
and breaking the law,
it can only lead to one thing:
Incarceration.
Now, I know none of you
likes the idea of
being incarcerated.
The idea does scare you
a little bit, doesn't it?
Yeah, and we don't even know
what it means.
Well, to be incarcerated...
I know what it means.
It's like when a doctor
gives you a shot.
No. No, that's
"inoculated."
No, I mean "jailed,"
"locked up."
Now, boys, if you'll just
step over here a minute...
Uh, Barney, I...
Andy, please, I'm not finished.
Boys, these are our
maximum-security cells.
This is where convicted
persons are inoculated.
"Incarcerated."
What did I say?
"Inoculated."
Like where
the doctor gives you a shot?
Oh, they know what I meant.
Yes, boys, take a good look.
This is the last stop
on the road of crime.
A man confined
to prison is a man
who has given up his Liberty...
His pursuit of happiness.
No more carefree hours.
No more doing whatever you want
whenever you want.
No more peanut butter
and jelly sandwiches.
A man in prison
is under 24-hour surveillance.
All his activity
is laid out for him
until he has paid
his debt to society.
Yes.
Why can't you have
peanut butter in prison?
Where did it all begin?
Barn...
It began one fine day
on a street corner
when he broke a street lamp.
Barney...
Where did it all end?
Right here.
Yes, take a good look, boys...
Because it definitely is no fun
when that iron door
clangs shut on you.
It, uh...Definitely is no fun.
I, uh...I believe
that's all the, uh,
deputy had to say.
Come on, boys,
you can go home now.
But, remember,
behave yourselves.
Well...
Got yourself a little
incarcerated, didn't you?
Get the key.
"No more carefree hours.
"No more doing what you want to
when you want to.
No more peanut butter
and jelly sandwiches."
Get the key.
I'll tell you what we'll do
in your case, though.
If you're good...
If you're very good...
We'll throw some peanuts
in your cell,
you can jump up and down on them
make your own peanut butter.
Are you going to get the key?
Open this door!
Oh. You, uh, you figured
you paid your debt to society?
Oh, all right. We'll, uh...
We'll let you out.
All right, you can go.
But remember,
"it is definitely no fun
when that iron door
clangs shut on you."
You belong in the funny
papers, you know that?
Get you a wig and a dress
and you're another
emmie schmaltz.
The boys will be ready
to go pretty soon.
Go on back and get
your tackle box.
Okay, pa.
You going fishing?
Yeah. I thought
I'd take ope and his friends.
Them boys who was
in here yesterday?
Sure. Why not?
Well, nothing.
It's just that the way they've
been carrying on,
I don't see how
they're gonna go in
for anything as tame as fishing.
I expect that little talk we had
would have straightened them out.
You ready, ope?
Almost, pa.
I still don't think them boys...
Sheriff, you got
to do something.
What's the trouble?
It's them boys.
They came by my store,
marked up my windows,
grabbed some tomatoes and ran.
You got to go after them.
Did you see who it was?
That wasn't the worst.
When I run after them,
one of them
starting throwing at me.
Look at my apron.
And with my own tomatoes.
Who did that?
New boy. Never saw him before.
What's got into youngsters
around here lately?
So, you got everything
all straightened out, huh?
And now you're going to take
the little angels fishing?
Barney...
Don't Barney me.
This is what comes
from Molly-collying.
What are you gonna do now, have
another little talk with them?
No. I'm gonna have a little talk
with their daddies
like I said I was.
And you think
that's the solution?
No. Not entirely.
That won't stop it altogether.
But get their dads
to tan their hides,
it'll slow it down a good bit.
Y-Y-Yeah.
That Billy gray
and Carter French
and the rest of them boys,
they never gave us
any trouble before.
I get the feeling like they're
just following around
after this new boy...
Quincy, what's his name.
They quit on him,
and all this mischief will stop.
He wouldn't run around
cutting up all by himself.
Just when will they quit on him?
As soon as they find out
he's just getting them
into more and more trouble.
Well, meantime, like you say,
a little spank here and there
ain't gonna hurt nothing.
No, it's not.
Let's go.
Oh, ope, I'm gonna have
to put off that fishing trip.
I got something
I got to take care of.
It's okay, pa.
Well, look who's here.
Dopey Opie in person.
You stole those tomatoes
off Mr. Foley.
So?
You going to make
something out of it?
Oh, so you want to fight?
Okay.
Just step across this line.
All right.
Knock this off my shoulder.
I dare ya.
Oh, so you want to fight, huh?
Just step inside
this circle just once.
Boy, lucky for you,
I got my good pants on.
Why don't you go home
and change?
Opie will wait.
Won't you, Opie?
Besides...
We had a plan before you came.
We're going back to foley's
and get us some peaches.
Right, guys?
Boy, you guys are sure no fun.
I'm going home.
We're going fishing.
Let's go, come on!
Yeah! Yeah!
And we never did fight, pa.
Never got to it.
Not even one punch?
Not even one punch.
Oh, that's the way.
That's the way.
Where's your friends now?
They're coming by to pick me up.
We're goin' fishing.
Oh, good, good.
Well, you can say what you like,
and I ain't taking nothing away
from the way you stood up
to that new boy, ope.
It was good you did that.
But you know what I think
had a good effect
on them young fellers?
What?
That little speech I gave them.
You know, about being locked up.
Yep, they definitely
did not like the idea
of being locked up.
Remember what I said to them?
You know, about no more carefree
hours and the rest of it?
I'm sure that helped, Barn.
Are you kidding?
There's plenty of catfish.
Hi, ope.
Hi, Leon.
Oh, hi, Leon.
Close the door, will you?
No, Leon.
Not this door.
I meant the...
He can't have that, Leon.
No more carefree hours.
No more peanut butter
and jelly sandwiches.
Right, Barn?