The Andy Griffith Show (1960–1968): Season 2, Episode 4 - Mayberry Goes Bankrupt - full transcript

GENTLEMEN,
GENTLEMEN!

GENTLEMEN.
ONE AT A TIME, PLEASE.

MAYOR, ALL
I'M SAYIN' IS

AIN'T THERE SOME
WAY TO STALL THIS?

I JUST DON'T
EXACTLY ENJOY

SERVIN' EVICTION
NOTICES, YOU KNOW.

ANDY, WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS
THING TIME AND TIME AGAIN.

NOW, FRANK MYERS IS
DELINQUENT IN HIS TAXES.

THE MORTGAGE IS
TOO MUCH FOR HIM.

HE'S GOT TO GO.

[ AGREEING ]



HARLAN, HARLAN,
COULDN'T THE BANK

HELP THE OLD FELLA
OUT WITH A LOAN?

ANDY, I GOT A RESPONSIBILITY
TO MY DEPOSITORS.

HE'S ALREADY BORROWED TO
THE HILT ON THAT PLACE.

HE'D BE BETTER OFF
TO JUST GET OUT FROM UNDER.

WHICH BRINGS US RIGHT BACK
TO WHERE WE STARTED.

RIGHT, WELL,
THE TAX PAYMENT

IS DUE TUESDAY,
AND MYERS CAN'T PAY IT.

LIKE HE AIN'T BEEN ABLE TO
PAY THE LAST EIGHT QUARTERS.

COUNCIL CAN'T
CARRY HIM ANY LONGER.

OH, HE'S GONNA
HAVE TO BE EVICTED.

NOW WHY FIGHT IT, ANDY?

YOU'RE JUST WASTING
YOUR SYMPATHIES.

[ AGREEING ]



I DON'T KNOW.

FRANK'S A NICE OLD FELLA

AND HE'S HAD
A TOUGH STRING O' LUCK.

HE'S HAD A TOUGH STRING
FOR THE LAST 25 YEARS.

Harlan: I SAY WE GOTTA STOP
MOLLYCODDLIN' THIS MAN.

IT'S TIME WE GOT
FRANK OUTTA THERE

AND TORE DOWN
THAT PLACE.

IT'S AN EYESORE.

IT'S THE FIRST
PLACE PEOPLE SEE

WHEN YOU DRIVE IN
FROM THE NORTH.

THE MINUTE THEY
SEE THAT HOUSE

EVERYBODY WANTS TO
HIGHTAIL THROUGH MAYBERRY

AS FAST AS THEY CAN.

THE MAYOR'S RIGHT.

THAT PLACE
IS MAYBERRY'S SHAME.

FRANK HAS GOT TO GO.

NOW, GO AND SERVE
THAT NOTICE

AND LET'S BE
DONE WITH IT.

WELL...

ALL RIGHT.

I'LL TELL YA SOMETHIN', THOUGH--

THIS IS ONE PART OF SHERIFFIN'
I CAN DO WITHOUT.

[ CHICKENS CLUCKING ]

WHO IS IT?

IT'S ME, FRANK--
ANDY TAYLOR.

WELL, HOWDY, ANDY.

HOW ARE YOU, FRANK?

NICE TO SEE YOU.

COME ON IN.

YOU DON'T COME AROUND
TO SEE ME OFTEN ENOUGH.

WELL, I BEEN BUSY, FRANK.

WELL, SIT DOWN, ANDY.

SIT DOWN.

I BELIEVE I'LL STAND.

OH, GET OFF
OF THERE, HAZEL.

HAZEL, GET OFF
OF THE COUCH.

GO ON. NOW GO ON.

YOU GET YOUR OWN CHAIR.

[ CLEARING THROAT ]

WELL, WHAT'S UP, ANDY?

YOU KNOW WHAT'S UP, FRANK.

I-I-I DO? Y...

OH, YES.

OH, I FORGOT THAT.

THE EVICTION NOTICE, HUH?

YOU FORGOT.

FRANK, AIN'T
THERE SOMETHIN'

YOU COULD
RAISE MONEY ON?

OH, WELL, BUSINESS HAS BEEN
SO BAD LATELY, ANDY.

DID YOU EVER THINK O'
CHANGIN' YOUR BUSINESS?

WELL, WELL, NOW,
WHY WOULD I WANNA DO THAT?

W-WELL, MAKIN' BERRIES
FOR WOMEN'S HATS

JUST AIN'T
A HOT INDUSTRY RIGHT NOW.

NO, BUT, ANDY

WITH... WITH WOMEN'S STYLES
CHANGIN' EVERY YEAR

OOH, YOU NEVER KNOW.

IF BERRIES WAS
TO COME BACK IN AGAIN

I'D BE SITTIN' PRETTY.

THAT'S...
YOU KNOW WHY?

MM-MM.

I GOT A BACKLOG.

COME HERE.
I'LL SHOW YOU.

LOOK.

THIS IS ONLY ONE
OF 50 BOXES, ANDY.

SEE? I GOT ALL KINDS
OF BERRIES

ANY KIND I WANT.

I GOT, UH, I GOT LOGANBERRY,
AN-AND STRAWBERRY

AND... AND BLACKBERRY
I KNOW SOME...

AND BLUEBERRY,
AND HUCKLEBERRY SOMEWHERE.

YEAH, WELL...

I-I CAN SEE WHERE
YOU'LL BE SET, ALL RIGHT

BUT TILL THAT
TIME, FRANK

I'M AFRAID YOU
CAN'T STAY HERE.

[ SIGHS ]

WELL, I GUESS I BETTER
GET ON BACK TO THE OFFICE.

I, UH... I SURE HATE
TO DO THIS, FRANK,

KNOWIN' YOU
ALL THESE YEARS

AND HAVING TO BE THE ONE

TO PUT YOU OUT
OF YOUR HOUSE.

UH, THERE, THERE, ANDY.

YOU'RE JUST
DOIN' YOUR JOB.

I'LL GET OUT TOMORROW.

YOU SEE, IT'S MY PROBLEM

AND I JUST GOTTA
WORK IT OUT MYSELF.

AND, UH, ANDY...

I'M SURE GLAD IT WAS YOU
THAT SERVED NOTICE.

KIND OF MADE IT EASIER.

OH, I CAN IMAGINE
HOW YOU FELT, ANDY.

I CAN'T THINK
OF ANYTHING MORE UNPLEASANT

THAN HAVING
TO EVICT ANYBODY

ESPECIALLY POOR FRANK MYERS.

YEAH.

PA, WHAT'S EVICTING?

HMM?

WHAT'S EVICTING?

OH, THAT MEANS TURNIN'
SOMEBODY OUTTA THEIR HOUSE.

I TRIED TO GET THE
COUNCIL TO STALL, BUT...

WHY?

HMM? OH...

WELL, FOR NOT PAYIN'
THEIR TAXES.

THE LAW SAYS IF YOU
DON'T PAY YOUR TAXES

WELL, YOU GOT TO GO.

THAT MAYOR
AND THAT COUNCIL

THEY SURE ARE SET
IN THEIR WAYS.

WHERE?

OH, YOU... WHERE?

SURE. IF YOU MOVE
OUTTA YOUR HOUSE

WHERE DO YOU MOVE TO?

OH, YOU MOVE TO ANOTHER HOUSE.

THAT MAYOR, HE GETS
SOMETHIN' UNDER HIS BONNET

AND YOU CAN'T
BUDGE HIM.

OH, THEN MR. MYERS HAS
ANOTHER HOUSE TO MOVE TO?

NO. NOT EXACTLY.

THEN WHERE'S HE
GONNA MOVE TO?

WELL, HE'LL MOVE IN
WITH SOMEBODY

WHO'S GOT ROOM FOR HIM.

LIKE US?

WELL, NO, NOT US.

WHY NOT?

WE GOT AN EXTRA ROOM.

WELL, NOW, OPIE,
THAT EXTRA ROOM

IS FOR A RELATIVE
WHO MIGHT COME TO VISIT US

OR A FRIEND.

MR. MYERS IS A FRIEND.

HE'S ALWAYS BEEN
REAL NICE TO ME.

WELL, YOU SEE, OPIE...

IF YOU'RE THE ONE
TELLIN' HIM TO MOVE

YOU OUGHT TO BE THE ONE
TO GIVE HIM A PLACE TO MOVE TO.

WELL, NOW, I'M NOT SURE FRANK
WOULD WANT TO MOVE IN WITH US.

WHY NOT ASK HIM?

WELL, YOU SEE,
SON...

WELL, NOW, OPIE,
YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND.

YOU CAN'T ASK PEOPLE
TO COME AND LIVE WITH YOU.

YEAH, UH...
THAT'S RIGHT, OPE.

UH...

WELL, PEOPLE CAN'T...

UM...

WHAT DO YOU THINK, AUNT BEE?

WELL, IT'S ALL RIGHT WITH ME
IF IT'S ALL RIGHT WITH YOU.

WE CAN AT LEAST
PUT HIM UP

UNTIL HE CAN FIND
A PERMANENT PLACE TO STAY.

WELL, SURE. WHY NOT?

I'LL TELL HIM
FIRST THING IN THE MORNIN'.

OPIE, YOU KNOW

SOMETIMES YOU'RE A PRETTY
OUTSTANDIN' YOUNG FELLA?

[ CHUCKLES ]

WE'VE HAD REAL GOOD LUCK
FISHIN' THAT STUMP OVER THERE.

I ALWAYS DO MY
FISHIN' SOUTH SIDE.

HI, PA.
HI, MR. MYERS.

HI, OPE.
TAKE THE BOX THERE.

HEY, AUNT BEE.

FRANK, IT'S SO GOOD
TO SEE YOU.

COME ON OVER
AND SIT DOWN.

WE'VE GOT
EVERYTHING READY.

IT'S SURE NICE OF YOU
TO TAKE ME IN.

I'LL GET US
SOME COFFEE.

HAVE OFF YOUR SWEATER,
FRANK, HERE IN THE HOUSE.

YEAH, YEAH.

HERE, PUT THE BOX THERE
AND GET IT OUT YOUR WAY.

WHAT'S THAT, MR. MYERS?

WHAT?

THAT.

OH, THAT'S MY
STRONGBOX, OPIE.

WHERE I KEEP
MY VALUABLES.

YOU MEAN
LIKE A TREASURE CHEST?

WELL, YEAH, YEAH,
YOU MIGHT SAY THAT.

IF YOU GOT SOME
VALUABLES IN THERE

MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHIN'
YOU COULD SELL

TO RAISE SOME MONEY ON.

SELL MY VALUABLES?

N-NO. I'D HATE
TO DO THAT, ANDY

UNLESS IT WAS
A REAL BIG EMERGENCY.

WELL, FRANK, YOU'VE JUST BEEN
THROWN OUTTA YOUR HOUSE.

I'D CALL THAT AN EMERGENCY.

WELL...

YEAH, YOU GOT
A POINT THERE.

WELL, MAYBE THERE IS
SOMETHIN' I COULD PART WITH.

YEAH, LET'S, LET'S SEE
WHAT'S IN THERE.

WELL...

YEAH. UH-HUH.
WHAT'S-WHAT'S THAT?

OH, I WOULDN'T
WANNA GIVE THAT UP.

YOU KNOW WHAT THAT IS?

A MEDALLION

FROM THE ST. LOUIS
WORLD'S FAIR OF 1906.

THAT'S REAL BRASS,
THAT IS.

YEAH, WELL, FRANK

THIS IS ONE O' THEM
IRREPLACEABLE ITEMS

THAT YOU REALLY
OUGHT NOT TO GIVE UP.

YOU'RE RIGHT 100%.

WHAT'S THIS SPOON
WITH THE FUNNY HANDLE?

OH, THAT?
OH...

THAT MIGHT
BRING SOMETHIN'.

LOOK AT THE
CARVIN' ON IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT
IT IS, ANDY?

NO.

THAT IS THE SKYLINE

OF MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN.

MY GRANDMA
LEFT IT TO ME.

YEAH. WELL, WHAT ELSE
YOU GOT IN THERE, FRANK?

WELL, LET ME SEE.

OH...
A NAPKIN RING--

GENUINE WHALEBONE

AND, UH, OH, LOOK.

LOOK AT THIS.
BUTTONHOOK.

USED FOR BOOTS
WITH BUTTONS ON THEM.

YOU WOULDN'T REMEMBER THAT.

NO.

OH, THEY HAD 'EM.

YEAH.

LET ME SEE WHAT ELSE
I GOT HERE.

OH...

RED, WHITE AND BLUE
SLEEVE GUARD.

I USED TO WEAR IT
ON THE FOURTH OF JULY.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW, FRANK.

THESE ARE ALL FINE ITEMS

BUT THEY GOT
SUCH SENTIMENTAL VALUE

THAT, WELL, MAYBE YOU OUGHT
NOT TO TRY TO SELL 'EM.

THEY, UH...

AIN'T WORTH
A DIDDLY BOO?

WHAT'S THIS THING WITH ALL
THE FUNNY WRITIN' ON IT?

OH, NOW, THERE IS
A REAL SENTIMENTAL RELIC.

DID I EVER
SHOW YOU THIS, ANDY?

NO.

IT'S A BOND ISSUED
BY THE TOWN OF MAYBERRY

BACK IN 1861.

A HUNDRED YEARS OLD.

YEAH, AND MY GREAT-GRANDDADDY
BOUGHT IT.

YEAH, I USED TO HAVE IT
IN A FRAME

BUT THE GLASS BROKE
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO

BUT, OH, ONE OF THESE DAYS,
I'LL HANG IT UP AGAIN.

WELL, WHY DON'T
YOU CASH IT?

OH, I RECKON THE TIME
FOR CASHIN' IT IN

IS JUST LONG PAST.

WELL, IT JUST SAYS
IT'S, IT'S REDEEMABLE

AT A HUNDRED DOLLARS
PLUS 8 1/2 PERCENT INTEREST

AND I DON'T SEE
ANY DEADLINE DATE.

THEN, UH, MAYBE, MAYBE
I COULD CASH IT IN--

GET ME A WHOLE
HUNDRED DOLLARS?

SURE, PLUS 8h
PERCENT INTEREST.

WAIT A MINUTE--

A HUNDRED DOLLARS
AT 8 1/2 PERCENT INTEREST

COMPOUNDED ANNUALLY
OVER THE LAST HUNDRED YEARS?

SARAH? GET ME,
GET ME HARLAN FERGUS

OVER AT THE BANK, RIGHT AWAY.

WAIT A MINUTE.
I DON'T KNOW WHY

THIS SPECIAL MEETING
WAS CALLED.

SHERIFF TAYLOR INSISTED...

HOWDY, GENTLEMEN.
HOWDY, MAYOR.

WELL, ANDY... WHAT'S
THIS MAN DOIN' HERE?

OH, FRANK?

OH, HE'S THE SUBJECT
OF THIS MEETIN'.

WE ALREADY PASSED
ON HIS CASE.

THE MATTER'S CLOSED.

YOU DID EVICT
HIM, DIDN'T YOU?

OH, YEAH, YEAH,
I DID DO THAT.

THERE'S NOTHIN' MORE
TO TALK ABOUT.

ANDY, WE'RE BUSY MEN.

WE DON'T HAVE TIME
TO DISCUSS FRANK MYERS.

I THINK WE'RE GONNA
HAVE TO FIND TIME

TO DISCUSS FRANK MYERS.

A LOT OF TIME.

WHAT?

MAYOR, YOU SEE THIS
RIGHT HERE?

YEAH.

THAT'S A BOND ISSUED
BY THE CITY OF MAYBERRY

BACK IN 1861.

SO, WHAT ABOUT IT?

WELL, I-IT'S IN THE AMOUNT
OF A HUNDRED DOLLARS.

IT'S OWNED BY FRANK MYERS
AND IT'S DUE AND PAYABLE

UPON PRESENTATION BY THE OWNER,
AND FRANK'S PRESENTIN' IT.

SO WHAT IS IT? IT'S $100.

YOU'RE THE TOWN TREASURER,
HARLAN.

GO ON AND PAY IT.
DON'T BOTHER US ABOUT IT.

I CAN'T.

WHY CAN'T YA?

YOU SEE, THIS IS
A BOND THAT PAYS

EIGHT AND ONE-HALF
PERCENT INTEREST...

YEAH?

COMPOUNDED
ANNUALLY...

YEAH?

FOR OVER 100 YEARS.

WELL, COME ON...
COME TO THE POINT, MAN!

ANDY...

WELL, MAYOR

THE POINT IS

ACCORDIN' TO
THE COMPUTATION MACHINES--

DOWN AT THE BANK

AND THEY'RE GOOD MACHINES--

WE, THAT IS
THE TOWN OF MAYBERRY--

WE OWE FRANK MYERS...

$349,119.27.

[ MURMURING ]

OVER A QUARTER OF
A MILLION DOLLARS!

I'LL TAKE IT IN CASH.

FRANK, BE REASONABLE.

REASONABLE?
OH, SURE. WHY NOT?

NOW, WHAT'S
MORE REASONABLE

THAN A MAN WITH A BOND
DECIDIN' TO CASH IT?

THAT'S REASONABLE.

FRANK, I'M SURE WE'LL
BE ABLE TO WORK OUT

A NICE, FRIENDLY
SETTLEMENT.

WE CAN?

OF COURSE WE CAN.

AFTER ALL, WE'RE OLD FRIENDS,
FRANK, YOU AND ME, RIGHT?

RIGHT. OH, I'LL NEVER
FORGET YOU, MAYOR.

YOU'RE THE OLD FRIEND
WHO THREW ME OUT OF MY HOUSE.

YOU CAN GET BACK
IN IT NOW, FRANK.

AND WE'RE WILLING

TO FORGET ALL ABOUT
THOSE PAST-DUE TAXES.

AND HARLAN HERE WILL FIND
SOME KIND OF AN ADJUSTMENT

FOR THAT MORTGAGE.

WELL, I'D LIKE
TO SETTLE MY TAXES

AND GET THE MORTGAGE
PAID OFF AND ALL.

YOU WOULD?

OH, SURE, SURE,
AND I'LL DO IT

JUST AS SOON AS I CASH MY BOND.

THEN I'LL PAY OFF EVERYTHING.

BUT WHO'S GOING
TO CASH THAT BOND?

NO, NOT ME.

IT'S GOT TO COME
FROM THE TOWN TREASURY

AND WE ONLY GOT
A LITTLE OVER $10,000.

DON'T YOU GO APOLOGIZIN',
HARLAN.

THAT'LL MAKE
A VERY NICE DOWN PAYMENT.

COME, GENTLEMEN.

OBVIOUSLY, THERE'S NOTHING
FURTHER TO DISCUSS.

[ GRUMBLING ]

UH...

IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!

IF YOU HADN'T
TURNED THAT MAN OUT,

THAT BOND MIGHT
NEVER COME TO LIGHT,

AT LEAST NOT DURING
MY TERM OF OFFICE.

YEAH, I GUESS
YOU'RE RIGHT, MAYOR.

BUT I DIDN'T GIVE
THE ORDER FOR EVICTION.

AS I RECALL, THAT ORDER
WAS GIVEN BY YOU.

OH, LET'S NOT HASH
OVER ANCIENT HISTORY!

NEVER MIND
WHO GAVE THE ORDER.

THE POINT IS, WHAT ARE WE
GOING TO DO ABOUT IT NOW?

HARLAN, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

IT'S OBVIOUS THAT NONE OF US

CAN GET ANYWHERE WITH FRANK.

EXCEPT YOU, ANDY.

HE LIKES YOU.

MAYBE YOU CAN MAKE
A DEAL WITH HIM.

WHAT KIND OF DEAL?

SOMETHING REALISTIC.
SOMETHING WITHIN REASON.

OFFER HIM 25 A MONTH
OVER THE YEARS.

YOU'RE GONNA PAY OFF

A QUARTER OF
A MILLION DOLLARS

AT 25 A MONTH?!

IT'S THE ONLY THING
WE CAN DO, ANDY.

ANYTHING TO KEEP HIM
OUT OF OUR HAIR.

WELL, I'LL TRY.

YOU KNOW A FUNNY THING?

JUST A FEW DAYS AGO, WE WAS
READY TO GIVE FRANK THE BOOT.

AND NOW, FOR ALL WE KNOW,

HE MAY BE GIVING THE TOWN
24 HOURS TO GET OUT.

Frank: WHO IS IT?

IT'S ME, FRANK--
ANDY TAYLOR.

OH, COME ON IN.

THE DOOR'S OPEN.

HOWDY, FRANK.

HI, ANDY.

SIT DOWN.

OH, HAZEL

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE
I GOTTA TELL YOU

TO GET OFF OF PLACES?

GO ON. SHOO. SHOO.

SIT DOWN, ANDY.

I'LL GET YOU
A CUP OF COFFEE.

NO, THANK YOU.

NO?

I WAS JUST LOOKIN' OVER
THIS MAIL-ORDER CATALOG.

OH? THINKIN' OF ORDERIN'
SOME THINGS, ARE YA?

OH, I JUST AIN'T THINKIN', ANDY.

I'M ORDERIN'.

I ORDERED AN AIR-CONDITIONER,
A NEW STOVE, A COLOR TV SET

AND... OH...

I ORDERED A STEREO PHONOGRAPH.

PLAYS MUSIC ALL OVER THE HOUSE.

FRANK, YOU AIN'T GONNA BE ABLE
TO PAY FOR ALL THEM THINGS.

OH, BUT I WILL
WHEN I CASH MY BOND.

THAT'S JUST IT.
THE TOWN CAN'T PAY.

HUH?

I WAS DELEGATED
TO TELL YOU.

ANDY...

I CAN'T CASH MY BOND?

FRANK, MAYBERRY
JUST AIN'T GOT THE MONEY.

THE TOWN COULDN'T PAY
IF IT WANTED TO.

I JUST WANTED TO BUY THEM THINGS
TO IMPROVE THE PLACE

YOU KNOW, SO THE WHOLE TOWN
WOULDN'T BE ASHAMED OF IT.

I KNOW I ALWAYS SAY

THAT IT DON'T MATTER
WHAT PEOPLE SAY, BUT...

IT SURE AIN'T FUN BEING
KNOWN AS THE FELLA

WITH THE WORST
HOUSE IN TOWN.

WELL, FRANK...

MAYBE YOU DON'T HAVE
TO BE KNOWN

AS THE FELLA
WITH THE WORST HOUSE IN TOWN.

MAYBE SOMETHING
CAN BE DONE ABOUT THAT.

LOOK AT IT.

OH, LOOK AT THAT.

HIYA, FRANK.
HOW'S SHE LOOK?

HOW DO YOU
LIKE IT, FRANK?

WELL...

"FRANK MYERS."
GOT MY NAME.

YEAH, WATCH IT
OPEN AND CLOSE.

SHERIFF, SURE IS FANCY.

AIN'T IT, THOUGH?

COME OVER HERE AND
SEE THE REST OF IT.

HI.

WELL, LOOKIT THERE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF THIS, FRANK?

WELL, HOW YA
LIKE HER, FRANK?

DON'T LOOK LIKE
THE SAME PLACE.

OH, IT'S
REALLY BEAUTIFUL.

OH, THAT'S
A NICE JOB, MAYOR.

WELL, I KINDA
THINK SO MYSELF, ANDY.

BUT YOU KNOW
SOMETHING?

I PAINTED
THREE WINDOWS

AND HARLAN ONLY
PAINTED TWO OF THEM.

WAIT A MINUTE.

I KNOW WHAT
YOU DID.

WELL, NOW,
THAT'S NOT SURPRISIN'

CONSIDERIN' YOU'VE
ALWAYS BEEN KNOWN

AS THE KIND OF A MAN

THAT SPREADS IT ON A LOT MORE
THAN ANYBODY ELSE.

THANKS, ANDY.
I APPRECIATE WHAT --

YOU INSINUATIN'
SOMETHING?

OH, NO, NO, NO.

IT'S JUST THAT
YOU'VE WORKED REAL HARD

AND I'M SURE
FRANK APPRECIATES IT.

YOU BET, ANDY.

I SURE DO
APPRECIATE IT.

AND THANK YOU,
MR. MAYOR.

WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME.

WELL, LET'S GET THESE
BRUSHES CLEANED UP.

LET'S FINISH UP AND
CLEAN UP HERE NOW.

DON'T FORGET,
I GOT A TOWN TO RUN.

MR. MAYOR...

YEAH, WHAT IS IT?

IF YOU'VE
ANY LEFTOVER PAINT

MAYBE I COULD BORROW
YOUR BRUSH

TO TOUCH UP THE FRAME

OF MY GREAT-GREAT-GRANDDADDY'S
PORTRAIT.

IT SHOWS HIM SHAKING HANDS
WITH GENERAL LEE.

YEAH, BUT BE SURE
AND CLEAN IT.

OH, SURE.

HEY, JUST A MINUTE.

DID YOU SAY
YOUR ANCESTOR POSED

WITH GENERAL
ROBERT E. LEE?

WELL, CERTAINLY.

WHO ELSE WOULD A
SOUTHERNER POSE WITH?

AND IT WAS THE SAME
GREAT-GREAT-GRANDFATHER

WHO BOUGHT THIS BOND
BACK IN THOSE DAYS?

HE'S THE ONE.

WELL, IN THAT CASE, GENTLEMEN

THE TOWN OF MAYBERRY
DOESN'T OWE THIS MAN A PENNY.

WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WELL, DON'T YOU SEE?

OH, WE WAS SO BLIND
NOT TO REALIZE IT BEFORE.

AT THE TIME
THIS BOND WAS BOUGHT

MAYBERRY WAS IN THE CONFEDERACY.

WHICH MEANS THAT
THAT BOND WAS BOUGHT

WITH CONFEDERATE MONEY.

IT CAN ONLY BE PAID BACK
IN CONFEDERATE MONEY.

WHICH MEANS
IT'S WORTHLESS.

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.

DON'T LOOK AT ME
LIKE THAT.

IT WASN'T MY IDEA.

WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE BACK
RIGHT WHERE WE WERE AT FIRST.

IN OTHER WORDS, MYERS

YOU OWE THOSE
BACK TAXES

AND YOU'RE BORROWED
UP TO THE HILT

LIKE YOU ALWAYS WERE.

IN SHORT, SHERIFF,
EVICT THIS MAN.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
EVICT HIM.

JUST A MINUTE.

NOW, EVERYTHIN'
AIN'T QUITE LIKE IT WAS.

WHAT DO
YOU MEAN?

YOU WAS ALL WILLIN'
TO HELP OUT A NEIGHBOR.

NOW YOU'RE TURNIN' ON HIM
LIKE WOLVES.

ANDY, THE FACT IS...

YOU'VE JUST DONE SOMETHING NICE
FOR A FELLA TOWNSMAN.

WHY NOT LET IT GO AT THAT?

AND BESIDES THAT

YOU'VE TURNED
FRANK'S HOUSE HERE

INTO A SHOWPLACE.

WHY, A NEWCOMER DRIVES BY

SPOTS FRANK'S HOUSE...

HE'S GOT TO SAY TO HIS SELF,
"MY, WHAT A CHARMIN' TOWN.

I GOT TO SPEND SOME TIME
IN A PLACE LIKE THIS."

BANKER FERGUS, WOULDN'T YOU
CONSIDER IT GOOD BUSINESS

TO LOAN MONEY
ON A VALUABLE LANDMARK

LIKE FRANK'S HOUSE HERE
AND KEEP IT GOING?

WHY, I, I...

FRANK, STOP BY THE BANK
IN THE MORNING TO SEE HARLAN.

BUT I DIDN'T SAY...

MAYOR, YOU WOULDN'T
WANT TO EVICT THE OWNER

OF THE GARDEN SPOT OF MAYBERRY

AND LET IT GET RUN-DOWN?

WELL, I...

FINE. THEN
EVERYTHING'S SETTLED.

FRANK'S GOT ENOUGH MONEY
TO PAY OFF ALL HIS DEBTS

AND MAYBERRY HAS GOT ITSELF
A SPANKIN' NEW HOUSE

TO BE PROUD OF.

[ HORN HONKS ]

PARDON ME.

IS THERE BY ANY
CHANCE A MOTEL

IN THIS CHARMING TOWN?

SEE? FRANK'S PLACE
IS PAYING OFF ALREADY.

YES, SIR.

STRAIGHT DOWN
THE STREET THERE

ABOUT SIX BLOCKS.

THANK YOU.

OH, BY THE WAY

DID YOU DECIDE
TO STOP HERE

BECAUSE OF THE IMPRESSION
CREATED BY THIS SHOWPLACE?

WELL, I-IT... IT DOESN'T
MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.

WE'RE ALWAYS GLAD
TO HAVE VISITORS.

SO WHATEVER YOUR REASON
FOR STOPPIN'

WELCOME TO MAYBERRY.

MAYBERRY? WE THOUGHT
THIS WAS ELM CITY.

NOW, FRANK, WE GOT
TO SHOW THIS TO MAYOR.

HE'LL BE PLEASED.
SHOW ME?
SHOW ME WHAT?

FRANK MYERS IS THE MOST MODEST
MAN I HAVE EVER SEEN,

KEEPING THINGS TO
HIS SELF THE WAY HE DOES.

WHAT IS IT?
WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?

MAYOR, YOU TALK ABOUT FRANK'S
HOUSE BEING A SHOWPLACE.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE'S GOT
IN HIS POSSESSION?

NO.
A LETTER FROM
THE PRESIDENT.

WHAT?
THAT'S RIGHT.

IT'S -- IT'S AN ANSWER
TO AN INVITATION

TO COME AND VISIT
IN MAYBERRY.

NO, NO, REALLY?
THAT'S RIGHT.

NOW, COME ON, FRANK.
LET'S SEE THE LETTER.

NO, WE'VE GOT TO SHOW IT
TO THE MAYOR.

LOOK, LOOK.
NOW, LISTEN TO THIS.

SAYS -- SAYS,
"DEAR, MR. MYERS.

"THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR YOUR KIND INVITATION

TO COME AND VISIT
WITH YOU IN MAYBERRY."

HUH?
WELL.

"AS YOU MAY WELL UNDERSTAND,

"CURRENT CRITICAL EVENTS
HAVE BEEN KEEPING ME

"CLOSE TO MY OFFICE,
HOWEVER, I MAY BE DOWN YOUR WAY

"BEFORE TOO LONG,
AND PERHAPS I SHALL BE ABLE

TO STOP FOR AT LEAST
A BRIEF VISIT."

HOW ABOUT THAT?

WELL, I'LL BE.
AND SIGNED BY THE PRESIDENT?

YEAH, LOOK RIGHT HERE.

"SINCERELY, JEFFERSON DAVIS,

PRESIDENT,
CONFEDERATE STATES OF AMERICA."

SEE, FRANK, I TOLD YOU.
I TOLD YOU HE'LL BE INTERESTED.