The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. (1993–1994): Season 1, Episode 6 - Riverboat - full transcript
Hey, Ringo.
Hey, Brisco.
I guess you know
why I'm here.
Guess I do.
Guess you're plannin'
to take me in.
Guess I am.
There's 2 ways
we can do it--
the easy way
and the hard way.
I get a choice?
Well, that's the
kind of guy I am.
I will say,
for what it's worth,
I'm partial
to the easy way.
I'll have to talk it over.
With who?
The boys.
They like the hard way.
I thought that's
what they'd say.
Telegram.
Telegram for
Mr. Brisco County Jr.
Get out of here, kid.
You're Brisco,
aren't you?
Yeah, but I don't
have time to read
a telegram right
at the moment.
Sir, it's my
responsibility
to find
the receiving party
and to deliver
each telegram
as quickly
as possible.
Uh, look, kid,
I respect your dedication,
but I have to question
your common sense.
Be right back.
So who's it from?
Someone named
Socrates Poole.
Oh, yeah.
I work for him.
Sort of.
"Help"?
Ma'am.
Good day, sir.
Mmm-mmm!
You gotta get me out
of here, Brisco.
Tell me what
happened, Socrates.
Well, you're always
telling me to try new things.
That's correct.
So I thought as long
as I was down here,
I'd try my hand
at gambling.
Oh, you lost
some money.
Bingo.
My employers entrusted me
with a rather large sum of money
to be used as a down payment
on a cotton plantation.
If they find out
what's happened...
Okay, so they threw
you in jail
because you welshed
on a bet?
Is that it?
I was cheated, Brisco.
Set up and fleeced
by a slick
riverboat gambler,
and I refused to pay him
one red cent more
than he'd already
taken from me!
Okay, okay.
Who is this
riverboat gambler?
Brett Bones.
The most
gentlemanly member
of John Bly's gang.
One and the same.
You're not
thinking about
going after him are you?
Well, that's
my job, isn't it?
Brisco, he's smart,
he's dangerous,
and he's surrounded
by bodyguards.
He'll see you coming
a mile away.
Let me worry
about that,
Socrates.
First thing
I need to do
is get you
out of here.
Not bad, huh?
[WHINNIES]
Doesn't go, does it?
[WHINNIES]
It's alright.
It doesn't matter.
I can do this one
without my gun.
Very nice...
jab, jab...
hook, swing,
and the killer right hand.
Boy,
he's good, Boss.
He's better than good,
Mr. Hatchett.
He is a gold mine
and the next
heavyweight champion
of the world.
Fat chance.
I beg your pardon?
I know a blacksmith who
exhibits more finesse
with a hammer
and horseshoe.
Fight fan,
are you?
Oh, I'm familiar
with the game.
I didn't catch
your name.
Merriwether.
Roscoe Merriwether.
Just, uh,
passing through,
Mr. Merriwether?
Well, I'm not sure
yet, Mr. Bones.
Are we acquainted
with one another?
No, sir, but I was
hoping to find
a poker game
while I'm
here in town,
and I was told
that you're just
the man to see.
Poker, eh?
Yes. It's a game
of chance
played with a deck
of 52 cards.
I know what it is,
Mr. Merriwether.
Well, I guess
I just misunderstood
the question.
There he is...
Brett Bones!
I'll handle this, Wylie.
What seems to be
the problem here, Sheriff?
I'll tell you
the problem!
You murdered
my br--
he killed
my brother!
Come on, now.
Brett Bones,
I'm from
Achapelliah Parish,
just up the river a piece.
I got a warrant
for your arrest
for the murder
of Luther Turner.
I don't suppose it would
make any difference
if I denied involvement
in that heinous crime?
No, sir, it wouldn't.
I still gotta take you in.
Well, then suppose you
take a gander at this,
Sheriff .
What do you got there?
An official pardon.
It overrides
that little old
warrant of yours.
That's bull!
No, it's not, Wylie.
This is
a blanket pardon
signed by the governor
of Louisiana hisself.
You see, I'm a powerful man
and an easy target, Sheriff.
This little document
protects me from
the various unsavory types
that would prey
upon me or wish
for my untimely demise.
Sorry to bother you,
Mr. Bones.
You boys best head
back upriver,
and don't come back
down here with anymore
slanderous accusations.
You understand me?
Yes, sir. Let's go.
Wait a minute!
You can't let him
get away with that!
Let's go, Wylie.
Come on.
He killed Luther!
Get on
your horse.
You killed my brother.
Get on
your horse.
Let's go.
Get on
your horse!
Well, I think
I'm gonna like it
here in Gateway.
Seems like such
a nice, wholesome
town.
About that poker game--
I think we have
an open chair in
our game tonight.
Do we not,
Mr. Hatchett?
Absolutely,
Mr. Bones.
Shall we say 8:00 then
on my riverboat?
Your riverboat?
Mmm. It's, uh--I know.
On the river.
Gentlemen.Mr. Merriwether.
Uhh!
Get up! Get up!
Aahrr!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Thanks.
Don't mention it.
What is this fabric?
It's a whole new
cotton weave--
strong as steel,
soft as a baby's behind.
My brother and me,
we worked our whole lives
to perfect it.
They won't be
going anywhere.
Is this why Bones
killed your brother?
Bones runs Gateway.
He controls all
the river traffic.
You can't get nothing through
without paying the man.
Luther, he was sick and tired
of giving away
all our profits.
He tried to get
a shipment through
without paying, but...
I'm gonna get Bones
if it's the last thing I do.
You're not gonna
do anything.
He killed my brother!
He shot him,
then dumped him
in the river!
Listen,
I understand
how you feel--
Oh, you have no idea
how I feel,
bounty hunter!
You see, it's not
a job to me.
It's personal.
Let me tell you
something
about personal.
Bones was
one of the men
who murdered
my father.
I wake up every
night thinking
about it,
so don't you
tell me
I don't know
how you feel!
So you and me have
something in common.
Yeah.
What are we going
to do about it?
Let me do
this first part.
Hole up
in my hotel room
till I get back.
Where are you going?
I got a bone
to pick.
[MEN SHOUTING AND WHISTLING]
BRISCO:
Oh...
Oh!
Oh, oh, oh, yes!
Yes, indeed!
Very nice.
Thank you!
Well, uh,
I'll bet...
oh, 10 of these
red ones.
You're out of turn.
Oh. Right.
Ha! Got a little
ahead of myself.
Call me
enthusiastic.
I'll take one.
One card
to the man
from Tennessee.
Fold.
Ohh...
Oh, they're
folding like flies.
Cards, Mr. Bones?
2, if you please.
2 cards
for Mr. Brett Bones.
Is it really necessary
to repeat every move
that's made, sir?
Is it
really necessary?
Um...no.
Oh...
Cards?
Oh, uh, cards, cards...
uh, well, let's see.
Um...
No. No, I think I'm good.
500.
How about if we play
for my man Socrates?
Who?
Well, he's rotting
in your local jail.
He, uh--he seems
to think you
cheated him
at cards a few
nights ago.
That little muskrat
works for you, does he?
Well, he's just
an errand boy,
of course,
but I'm kind
of partial to him.
What do you
want for him?
Well, let me see...
He's 3,000 in arrears
to me, plus...
how much for all
the trouble he's caused?
Mr. Hatchett?
1,000 at least.
Make it 2.
$5,000. Okay.
You win,
you keep the money.
I win,
Socrates goes free.
I can live with that.
Well, you're gonna have to.
Call.
My, my, my...
full house, jacks high.
Well, don't you
want to see my cards?
Royal flush.
Ha ha ha ha!
Oh, what can I say,
Brett?
Lady luck is just
smiling on me tonight.
It is customary,
Mr. Merriwether,
to allow your fellow
players the opportunity
to win their money back.
Oh, well,
I'd love to.
Some other time.
Gentlemen.
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
It's not that I'm
not appreciative,
Brisco,
but I think
we should
cut our losses
and get out of town
while we can.
I'm sorry, Soc, but
I'm not leaving Gateway
without Bones.
I believe this
falls under
the category
of right idea,
wrong time.
We're on his turf,
remember?
Ah!
Who's that?
Wylie!
Ooh!
Watch the glasses.
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
They took every
last cent I had.
I'm worse off
than before.
I told you it was a mistake
to go after Bones.
Relax. We'll get
your money back.
Before or after
he kills us?
If Bones wanted
to kill us, we'd
already be dead, Socrates.
He's just
playing with us.
I think it's time
to up the ante.
How? Bones ain't
dumb enough to play
poker with you again.
No, I'm thinking of something
a little grander this time.
I can hardly
wait to hear this.
Well, now, Bones'
pride and joy
is his boxer
Dynamite Sullivan.
I have a hunch
he may also be
his Achilles heel.
Good luck! There's
not a man around
who can put
Dynamite Sullivan
on the canvas.
Big Daddy can.
Who?
It's all part
of the con.
Now the first step
of any good con is
to provoke the mark.
We've already
done that.
The next step
is the setup.
We need money.
Lots of it.
Where are we gonna get that?
I'd like to send this
to Ethan Emerson,
Westerfield Club,
San Francisco--
"Have found
wonder fabric.
"Durable and affordable.
"Will revolutionize
the clothing industry.
Competing bids en route.
Need $50,000 fast."
Not in
a million years.
"Signed,
Socrates Poole."
Brisco!
Oh, and I'd like
to send one
other telegram.
"Dear
Lord Bowler..."
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
Ah, Bowler,
right on time.
Laundry day, huh?
Nice to see you, too.
Cut the chit-chat,
Brisco.
Who's the bounty?
His name is
Dynamite Sullivan.
Ain't never heard of him.
Don't you worry
about that.
This'll be
the easiest money
you ever made,
Bowler.
All you need
to do is walk in
and take him out.
You mean, I ain't
got to track him
or nothing?
Nope.
If it's so easy,
how come you don't
take the bounty yourself?
Well, it isn't
exactly a bounty.
What exactly is it?
It's a fight.
You mean
a boxing fight?
Yeah, that's
exactly
what I mean.
You didn't say nothing
about no fight
in the telegram.
Well, telegrams
are, by their very
nature, brief.
You gotta leave
a few things out.
Like the truth?
I ain't no boxer, Brisco.
I'm a bounty hunter.
And what is hunting
if not confrontation?
Adios, amigo.
Aw, come on, Bowler.
You can take
this guy
in the first round.
And where else
can you make $2,000
for 3 minutes' work?
Show me the cash.
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
Heh heh heh.
[BOXERS GRUNTING]
Well, good day,
Mr. Merriwether.
I didn't expect
to see you...
up and around.
I guess now that
you've retrieved
your little errand boy
you'll be saying adieu
to our fair city.
Well, actually, Brett,
I thought I'd give
you a chance
to win your money back.
That is, of course,
if you've got the guts
to take me on again.
You got to have money
to bet money.
Socrates.
Well, well, well.
You are
full of surprises.
I'll give you that,
Mr. Merriwether.
$5,000 says
Big Daddy Bowler here
can defuse
your Dynamite.
You're on.
[GRUNTING]
He's gonna kill me.
Looking good,
Dynamite.
Real good.
Thanks.
Who are you?
Well, the best thing
that ever happened
to you,
if you're smart,
that is.
I don't understand.
Man, a boxer
with your skills
could make a hell
of a lot of money
out on the circuit,
hell of a lot more
than you make
flooring stiffs
down here.
Mr. Bones takes care
of me alright.
Oh, does he?
Well,
how much does he
pay you per fight?
Come on,
you can tell me.
100 bucks.
Ah!
You take the jabs,
the gut shots,
the roundhouse
rights for a
lousy 100 bucks.
Meanwhile, Bones is
raking in thousands
without even
breaking a sweat.
Now, does that seem
fair, Dynamite?
3,000 bucks,
Dynamite.
This is all yours.
There's a whole
lot more where
that came from.
All you got
to do is take
a dive tomorrow
against
Big Daddy Bowler.
[CROWD BOOS]
Go to your corner.
Okay, now,
you're gonna be
just fine,
Bowler.
As soon as you
hear that bell,
just hit him
hard and get
it over with.
Are you kidding?
Look at that monster.
He's gonna hurt me bad.
Aw! Here,
rinse out.
Oh!
Now, just
remember,
Bowler--
he puts
his pants on
one leg
at a time,
just like you.
[BELL RINGS]
[CROWD CHEERS]
Just punch him,
Bowler.
Punch him!
Come on, Dynamite,
hit him!
REFEREE:
1...
2....
Get up!
3...
Hmm.
4...Get up, you lug!
5...
5 1/2...
6...
7...
8...
9...
10.
That man
is definitely
horizontal...
which ain't all bad.
Dixie...
what are you
doing here?
Well, I was
about to ask you
the same question,
Brisco.
Roscoe.
Roscoe Merriwether.
Oh, brother.
Well, Brett...
looks like your
Dynamite here
is one big dud.
Pay up.
Unfortunately,
the outcome was so
unexpected to me
that I neglected
to bring along my
end of the wager.
What do you mean?
I got mine.
You wouldn't
want these people
around here
thinking that you
welsh on your bets,
do you, pal?
Well, that might be
bad for business.
Excuse me,
Mr. Merriwether,
but I'm certain Mr. Bones
is good for the money.
Where the hell
do you get off
defending him?
You work for me.
Do you
understand that?
You don't ever
cross me...
ever!
You're being
awfully hard on him,
aren't you?
You stay out
of this, Dixie.
Dixie?
Dixie Cousins?
I believe you sent me
a wire about
a business proposal.
That's right.
I did,
which means you're
the reason I'm here.
Delighted.
Hmm.
You two know
one another?
Our paths
have crossed.
We'll talk later, Dixie.
I'll pick up my money
at your riverboat,
in public view.
Ow.
I'm sorry you had
to witness that,
Miss Cousins.
Perhaps we can
conduct our affairs
a little later
in a more
appropriate setting.
I'm performing
tonight at
The Lilac Club.
Come by and see me
backstage afterward.
Well, thank you.
I will,
and I look
forward to it.
How'd it go?
Are you kidding?
A piece of cake.
Bell rang, and I
rang his bell.
Simple as that.
I've had sneezes
that lasted longer.
Really.
Alright,
so we beat Bones
at his own game.
Which means the first part
of our plan worked--
he wants to get even
with me more
than anything now.
So, what's next?
Make him wanna get
Roscoe Merriwether so badly
he doesn't even see
Brisco County Jr. coming.
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
Hey, what's going on?
I'm here to see Brett.
And so you shall,
sir.
I'm sorry we're not able
to offer the full array
of games this evening.
However, we do have one
that very few of our guests
get to play.
Okay, look...
forget about
the 5 grand.
You can have it.
I don't trust you,
Mr. Merriwether.
You're a cheater
and a con.
Though I will confess
to a certain degree
of curiosity
as to your
ultimate ambitions,
I think I'll just
have you killed instead.
I'll make you
a deal.
Unfortunately,
I'm not interested.
Have you ever wondered where
Mr. Hatchett got his name?
Well, looking at his face
I figured it was
just a cruel childhood
taunt that stuck.
[GASPS AND GRUNTS]
BRETT: The wheel of fortune.
It's a wonderful
game of chance.
Would you care
to take a spin?
Actually,
I prefer craps.
Go for the jackpot,
Mr. Hatchett.
Good luck,
Mr. Merriwether.
Yaw!
Yaw!
After him, idiots!
Hyah!
Come on, boy!
Hold it!
Too many witnesses.
Everything go
alright?
Oh, yeah, sure.
Fine. Great.
You look pale.
Well, he was
a little madder
than I expected.
Well,
so much for a rematch.
My job was to make
Bones wanta rematch.
Now, it's Socrates' job
to set it up.
How do I do that?
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
Merriwether's
setting you up.
He cheated you
at cards,
and he paid Dynamite
to take a fall.
Really?
Why?
He's trying
to squeeze you
out of Gateway.
He wants control
of the river.
Go on.
He's only got
$50,000 to his name.
If you were willing
to bet that much,
I think I could
get you a rematch.
You could
wipe him out.
That is, if your
fighter doesn't
take another fall.
How do I know you're
not just saying this
to save your own
miserable little life?
You saw how
he treats me.
I've been waiting
a long time
to get out from
under his thumb.
You're the first person
I've come across
who can actually
help me pull it off.
I don't know if
I believe you, Mr. Poole,
but it doesn't
really matter.
Even if Mr. Merriwether
is playing another one
of his little tricks,
he won't get away with it,
and neither will you.
[CLAPPING]
Oh, my, thank you...
so much.
Thank you.
Well, it's past
your bedtime,
isn't it?
I got hungry.
Can I buy you dinner?
Sorry, I've made
other plans.
Oh.
Bones again?
A southern belle
never tells.
You don't want
to get mixed up
with him, Dixie.
He's nothing but trouble.
So, you are jealous.
I'm just trying to stop you
from making a big mistake,
that's all.
Well, thanks,
but I'm a big girl.
I can take care
of myself.
You listen to me, Dixie.
I'm going after Bones,
and you better
not get in my way.
You don't have
any hold on me.
If Brett and I
end up getting in
business together,
my loyalties
are with him.
Oh, and what
business is that?
None of yours.
Excuse me.
If you want to sleep
in the gutter, Dixie,
why don't you
just go do it?
Well, I guess
that tears it.
[GASPS] Brett.
I hope I didn't
startle you, Dixie.
You did say I could come
backstage, didn't you?
Oh, my.
How thoughtful.
I trust you don't
have a problem
accepting gifts
from strange men?
Oh, well, I've got no
problem with strange,
but I do draw the line
with men I don't know.
Well, in that case...
Hmm?
[POP]
Ooh, I just love it
when it does that.
Mr. Poole's
back at the hotel.
Bones took the bait
on the rematch.
Good.
[DIXIE GIGGLING]
Oh, my.
You okay?
Bones always gets
what he wants,
doesn't he?
Yeah, but we're gonna
change that, right?
Now, you sure you still
want me there tomorrow?
Bones will see me, you know.
Oh, I want him
to see you.
Turn up the heat
a little bit.
Make him think
I'm moving into
his territory.
Thanks, Wylie.
Dynamite.
Dynamite!
Boss wants
to talk to you.
Yes, Mr. Bones?
Dynamite, I've
arranged a rematch
with Big Daddy Bowler,
and I wanted you to know
that should you decide
to lose again,
it'll be the last
decision you ever make.
You understand?
Ho ho, he's mad.
Concentrate.
Don't forget.
When you get
in the ring,
dance around
a little--yeah.
Move your feet.
Show some style.
Ha ha.
I like this.
5,000 for a rematch.
Tell you what.
I'll do a rematch
of a rematch for 10,000!
You didn't
tell him?
Tell me what?
Uh...
that fight you had
with Dynamite
was, uh...
fixed.
Say again?
I'm sorry, Bowler,
I couldn't tell you before,
because it had to look real.
Otherwise, Bones
would never have given
us this second fight.
You mean,
I didn't really
knock him out?
Oh, I get it.
So, the next fight's
gonna be fixed, too,
right?
No.
He's gonna kill me!
Oh, come on, Bowler,
you can take him.
You're the toughest
man I know.
I've seen you take on
10 outlaws at once,
and this guy's
not even armed.
All you have to do
is go the distance.
You don't even have
to win for Brisco's
plan to work.
No. No, no, no.
No way. I quit.
Okay, then you can
have the whole bounty
on Bones, okay?
Just don't pull out now.
We're so close, Bowler.
And this. Well...
this means a lot to me.
It means a lot
to me, too.
So, come on.
Mr. Merriwether.
I gather we have
another wager
in the offing.
Not unless I see
your end of it
up-front this time.
How's it going,
Hatchett?
Miss me?
By a couple
of inches.
I wish
we could stay
and converse,
but my new lady friend
awaits me.
Don't think
I've forgotten
about you, Wylie.
[GRUNTING]
Urgh. Uh!
Think I better
practice backing up.
Good idea.
So, you'll put up
the money for the club,
and I'll run things.
And once
I get on my feet,
I'll start
to pay you back.
That's correct.
Heh. I guess
what I'm asking is...
what do you expect
in return?
We're partners,
which is like a marriage
in that we have
no secrets between us.
You help me,
and I help you.
And most importantly,
we share information.
Heh. Now I know why
I never got married.
Well, to be perfectly
frank with you, Dixie,
if you want to be
in business with me,
you'll tell me
what you know
about Mr. Merriwether.
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]
I'm afraid I don't know
what you're talking about.
I overheard
your little argument
with him last night,
and I know you know
certain things about him
that I would find
valuable.
How valuable?
It isn't a difficult
decision really, Dixie.
You need a friend,
and I'm offering you
friendship
and a considerable
sum of money.
The only price...
is the truth.
I can't.
It's your choice.
What does Merriwether
have to offer?
Nothing.
He's a bounty hunter.
The fight is just
a distraction.
He's planning
to take you in.
Is that a fact?
And his name isn't
Roscoe Merriwether.
It's Brisco County Jr.
Brisco County Jr.?
Well, well, well.
That goes a long way to
explaining a great deal.
SOCRATES:
There's nobody here.
BOWLER:
Maybe Dynamite
got cold feet.
BRISCO:
I don't think so.
BRISCO:
What's going on,
Hatchett?
HATCHETT:
Been a change in plans.
Follow me.
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Well, good evening,
gentlemen.
What are you trying
to pull here, Bones?
Might that be
the 50,000?
You may as well just
hand it over now,
because your man Bowler,
while quite a competent
bounty hunter,
is no fighter,
or so I'm told.
What are you
talking about?
It would appear you've
attempted to deceive me,
that all this dirty
card playing and
boxing for dollars
is about
fatherly revenge,
isn't it,
Mr. Brisco County Jr.?
The venue's
been changed,
so you can't whisk
me away in the middle
of the fight,
which, I believe,
was your intention.
Was it not?
Someone's got
a big mouth.
You've done
your level best
to sully my reputation.
So, I'm going
to win your money
fair and square
in front of the good
people of Gateway,
and then I'm
gonna kill you.
[RIVERBOAT WHISTLE BLOWS]
[WHISTLE]
[WHISTLE]
REFEREE:
Gentlemen,
let's see this.
You could've set up
a nice little
knife fight, but no!
You had to go
for a real boxing match.
[DING]
Okay, Bowler.
Attack! Attack! Attack!
Ooh!
Uh, retreat!
Retreat! Retreat!
Uh!
I think we need
a new strategy.
Well, all he's got to do
is hang in there
for 12 rounds.
He'll be lucky
to last 12 seconds.
[BELL RINGS]
Oh!
Ahh, that's the way,
Bowler.
Okay, it's time.
Coach him
till I get back.
There's only
6 more rounds.
Where are you going?
I've got
to powder my nose.
Not so fast.
What are you doing
with that gun, Dixie?
I thought
I might need it.
For what?
You know,
I've been wanting
to do that
ever since
you first got here.
Me, too.
Good evening, Captain.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
[BELL RINGS]
How'd it go?
Fine, but we need
3 more minutes.
He's never going
to make it.
Sure, he will.
How are you doing, Bowler?
Huh?
[BELL RINGS]
3 more minutes,
Bowler.
That's all we need
is 3 more minutes.
He's gotta move.
Bowler! Hey, Bowler!
Huh?
Ooh!
Get back.
Get back!
Bowler, do that thing
with your feet.
Oh, yeah.
Yes!
Yeah!
Alright!
Uhh!
Get up, Bowler!
Get up!
Forget it, Bowler.
You might as well
stay down there,
but that's okay.
He's just got more guts
than you, that's all.
Go ahead, stay down.
Yes! Yes!
What did you
say to him?
A little
reverse psychology.
Watch.
That the best you got?
Argh!
You ain't gettin'
out of this ring
till I let you!
Understand?
Aah!
Aah!
Yeah!
MAN: There she is.
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Get up!
Go, Big Daddy!
Did you see that?
Did you see that?
You want some?
Yeah!
Big Daddy!
Ha ha!
[CRASH]
MAN: Hurry up.
Let's go. I got it.
Come on, boys!
WYLIE:
Right over there, Sheriff.
No--no need, boys.
No need. It's alright.
Mr. Brett Bones?
You're under arrest.
I'm afraid there's been
some misunderstanding,
Sheriff.
If you'll allow me
to illuminate you.
This here
is a Louisiana pardon.
That it is.
I'm afraid it's
no good here, sir.
Just what
do you mean?
Welcome to Mississippi,
Brett.
Oh, I see.
So, this is all
just one big setup
to create
a distraction
and get my boat
out of Louisiana.
And into Mississippi.
Sorry, Brett.
I did like the champagne.
Well-played,
Mr. County.
Well-played indeed.
And I'll be shipping our
fabric upriver now, Bones.
While you rot in prison.
You lost, Brett.
You lost big time,
and my father's smiling.
I'll kill him!
I'll kill him with
my bare hands.
You no-account,
good-for-nothing
weasel!
Beg pardon?
Let me at him!
You'll pay
for this, County!
Nice job, Wylie.
Well, hell,
you did it.
Hey, thanks, Brisco.
And Luther
thanks you.
It doesn't bring him back,
though, does it?
[SIGHS]
No, it doesn't.
But it sure feels good.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
[GRUNTS]
MAN:
Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
Not bad, Roscoe.
Not bad yourself, Dixie.
You gave one heck
of a performance.
So, tell me, Brisco.
Was it all an act,
even the part where
you got jealous?
No. I'm not
that good of an actor.
Maybe next time we can
play the part of lovers.
Maybe next time it doesn't
have to be an act at all.
What is it
about you, Brisco?
Care to take
the long way home
with me?
I wish I could, Dixie.
I wish I could,
but I still have
a job to do.
John Bly's still
out there, and...
Oh, hell.
Ohh.
Send me a telegram...
anytime.
DRIVER:
Come on, girl. Hyah!
[SIGHS]
Ahh.
I feel like
my old self again.
Let's see.
Bowler was paid 3,000
from the 50,000,
plus the bounty on Bones.
Then, there's
the 5,000 bet
deducted from
the original 8,000.
Forget it, Socrates.
You won't have it
figured out
until we get
to Albuquerque.
Come on.
Let's get going.
Worst of all, Brisco,
we're stuck
with that fabric.
Oh, I don't know.
Thought it might make
a good pair of pants.
Pants?
When my employers
find out
it cost them $50,000,
they're going
to crucify me.
Well, maybe if it were
a different color
or faded
or something.
What's
it called, anyway?
Um...
denim.
Hey, Brisco.
I guess you know
why I'm here.
Guess I do.
Guess you're plannin'
to take me in.
Guess I am.
There's 2 ways
we can do it--
the easy way
and the hard way.
I get a choice?
Well, that's the
kind of guy I am.
I will say,
for what it's worth,
I'm partial
to the easy way.
I'll have to talk it over.
With who?
The boys.
They like the hard way.
I thought that's
what they'd say.
Telegram.
Telegram for
Mr. Brisco County Jr.
Get out of here, kid.
You're Brisco,
aren't you?
Yeah, but I don't
have time to read
a telegram right
at the moment.
Sir, it's my
responsibility
to find
the receiving party
and to deliver
each telegram
as quickly
as possible.
Uh, look, kid,
I respect your dedication,
but I have to question
your common sense.
Be right back.
So who's it from?
Someone named
Socrates Poole.
Oh, yeah.
I work for him.
Sort of.
"Help"?
Ma'am.
Good day, sir.
Mmm-mmm!
You gotta get me out
of here, Brisco.
Tell me what
happened, Socrates.
Well, you're always
telling me to try new things.
That's correct.
So I thought as long
as I was down here,
I'd try my hand
at gambling.
Oh, you lost
some money.
Bingo.
My employers entrusted me
with a rather large sum of money
to be used as a down payment
on a cotton plantation.
If they find out
what's happened...
Okay, so they threw
you in jail
because you welshed
on a bet?
Is that it?
I was cheated, Brisco.
Set up and fleeced
by a slick
riverboat gambler,
and I refused to pay him
one red cent more
than he'd already
taken from me!
Okay, okay.
Who is this
riverboat gambler?
Brett Bones.
The most
gentlemanly member
of John Bly's gang.
One and the same.
You're not
thinking about
going after him are you?
Well, that's
my job, isn't it?
Brisco, he's smart,
he's dangerous,
and he's surrounded
by bodyguards.
He'll see you coming
a mile away.
Let me worry
about that,
Socrates.
First thing
I need to do
is get you
out of here.
Not bad, huh?
[WHINNIES]
Doesn't go, does it?
[WHINNIES]
It's alright.
It doesn't matter.
I can do this one
without my gun.
Very nice...
jab, jab...
hook, swing,
and the killer right hand.
Boy,
he's good, Boss.
He's better than good,
Mr. Hatchett.
He is a gold mine
and the next
heavyweight champion
of the world.
Fat chance.
I beg your pardon?
I know a blacksmith who
exhibits more finesse
with a hammer
and horseshoe.
Fight fan,
are you?
Oh, I'm familiar
with the game.
I didn't catch
your name.
Merriwether.
Roscoe Merriwether.
Just, uh,
passing through,
Mr. Merriwether?
Well, I'm not sure
yet, Mr. Bones.
Are we acquainted
with one another?
No, sir, but I was
hoping to find
a poker game
while I'm
here in town,
and I was told
that you're just
the man to see.
Poker, eh?
Yes. It's a game
of chance
played with a deck
of 52 cards.
I know what it is,
Mr. Merriwether.
Well, I guess
I just misunderstood
the question.
There he is...
Brett Bones!
I'll handle this, Wylie.
What seems to be
the problem here, Sheriff?
I'll tell you
the problem!
You murdered
my br--
he killed
my brother!
Come on, now.
Brett Bones,
I'm from
Achapelliah Parish,
just up the river a piece.
I got a warrant
for your arrest
for the murder
of Luther Turner.
I don't suppose it would
make any difference
if I denied involvement
in that heinous crime?
No, sir, it wouldn't.
I still gotta take you in.
Well, then suppose you
take a gander at this,
Sheriff .
What do you got there?
An official pardon.
It overrides
that little old
warrant of yours.
That's bull!
No, it's not, Wylie.
This is
a blanket pardon
signed by the governor
of Louisiana hisself.
You see, I'm a powerful man
and an easy target, Sheriff.
This little document
protects me from
the various unsavory types
that would prey
upon me or wish
for my untimely demise.
Sorry to bother you,
Mr. Bones.
You boys best head
back upriver,
and don't come back
down here with anymore
slanderous accusations.
You understand me?
Yes, sir. Let's go.
Wait a minute!
You can't let him
get away with that!
Let's go, Wylie.
Come on.
He killed Luther!
Get on
your horse.
You killed my brother.
Get on
your horse.
Let's go.
Get on
your horse!
Well, I think
I'm gonna like it
here in Gateway.
Seems like such
a nice, wholesome
town.
About that poker game--
I think we have
an open chair in
our game tonight.
Do we not,
Mr. Hatchett?
Absolutely,
Mr. Bones.
Shall we say 8:00 then
on my riverboat?
Your riverboat?
Mmm. It's, uh--I know.
On the river.
Gentlemen.Mr. Merriwether.
Uhh!
Get up! Get up!
Aahrr!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Thanks.
Don't mention it.
What is this fabric?
It's a whole new
cotton weave--
strong as steel,
soft as a baby's behind.
My brother and me,
we worked our whole lives
to perfect it.
They won't be
going anywhere.
Is this why Bones
killed your brother?
Bones runs Gateway.
He controls all
the river traffic.
You can't get nothing through
without paying the man.
Luther, he was sick and tired
of giving away
all our profits.
He tried to get
a shipment through
without paying, but...
I'm gonna get Bones
if it's the last thing I do.
You're not gonna
do anything.
He killed my brother!
He shot him,
then dumped him
in the river!
Listen,
I understand
how you feel--
Oh, you have no idea
how I feel,
bounty hunter!
You see, it's not
a job to me.
It's personal.
Let me tell you
something
about personal.
Bones was
one of the men
who murdered
my father.
I wake up every
night thinking
about it,
so don't you
tell me
I don't know
how you feel!
So you and me have
something in common.
Yeah.
What are we going
to do about it?
Let me do
this first part.
Hole up
in my hotel room
till I get back.
Where are you going?
I got a bone
to pick.
[MEN SHOUTING AND WHISTLING]
BRISCO:
Oh...
Oh!
Oh, oh, oh, yes!
Yes, indeed!
Very nice.
Thank you!
Well, uh,
I'll bet...
oh, 10 of these
red ones.
You're out of turn.
Oh. Right.
Ha! Got a little
ahead of myself.
Call me
enthusiastic.
I'll take one.
One card
to the man
from Tennessee.
Fold.
Ohh...
Oh, they're
folding like flies.
Cards, Mr. Bones?
2, if you please.
2 cards
for Mr. Brett Bones.
Is it really necessary
to repeat every move
that's made, sir?
Is it
really necessary?
Um...no.
Oh...
Cards?
Oh, uh, cards, cards...
uh, well, let's see.
Um...
No. No, I think I'm good.
500.
How about if we play
for my man Socrates?
Who?
Well, he's rotting
in your local jail.
He, uh--he seems
to think you
cheated him
at cards a few
nights ago.
That little muskrat
works for you, does he?
Well, he's just
an errand boy,
of course,
but I'm kind
of partial to him.
What do you
want for him?
Well, let me see...
He's 3,000 in arrears
to me, plus...
how much for all
the trouble he's caused?
Mr. Hatchett?
1,000 at least.
Make it 2.
$5,000. Okay.
You win,
you keep the money.
I win,
Socrates goes free.
I can live with that.
Well, you're gonna have to.
Call.
My, my, my...
full house, jacks high.
Well, don't you
want to see my cards?
Royal flush.
Ha ha ha ha!
Oh, what can I say,
Brett?
Lady luck is just
smiling on me tonight.
It is customary,
Mr. Merriwether,
to allow your fellow
players the opportunity
to win their money back.
Oh, well,
I'd love to.
Some other time.
Gentlemen.
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
It's not that I'm
not appreciative,
Brisco,
but I think
we should
cut our losses
and get out of town
while we can.
I'm sorry, Soc, but
I'm not leaving Gateway
without Bones.
I believe this
falls under
the category
of right idea,
wrong time.
We're on his turf,
remember?
Ah!
Who's that?
Wylie!
Ooh!
Watch the glasses.
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
They took every
last cent I had.
I'm worse off
than before.
I told you it was a mistake
to go after Bones.
Relax. We'll get
your money back.
Before or after
he kills us?
If Bones wanted
to kill us, we'd
already be dead, Socrates.
He's just
playing with us.
I think it's time
to up the ante.
How? Bones ain't
dumb enough to play
poker with you again.
No, I'm thinking of something
a little grander this time.
I can hardly
wait to hear this.
Well, now, Bones'
pride and joy
is his boxer
Dynamite Sullivan.
I have a hunch
he may also be
his Achilles heel.
Good luck! There's
not a man around
who can put
Dynamite Sullivan
on the canvas.
Big Daddy can.
Who?
It's all part
of the con.
Now the first step
of any good con is
to provoke the mark.
We've already
done that.
The next step
is the setup.
We need money.
Lots of it.
Where are we gonna get that?
I'd like to send this
to Ethan Emerson,
Westerfield Club,
San Francisco--
"Have found
wonder fabric.
"Durable and affordable.
"Will revolutionize
the clothing industry.
Competing bids en route.
Need $50,000 fast."
Not in
a million years.
"Signed,
Socrates Poole."
Brisco!
Oh, and I'd like
to send one
other telegram.
"Dear
Lord Bowler..."
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
Ah, Bowler,
right on time.
Laundry day, huh?
Nice to see you, too.
Cut the chit-chat,
Brisco.
Who's the bounty?
His name is
Dynamite Sullivan.
Ain't never heard of him.
Don't you worry
about that.
This'll be
the easiest money
you ever made,
Bowler.
All you need
to do is walk in
and take him out.
You mean, I ain't
got to track him
or nothing?
Nope.
If it's so easy,
how come you don't
take the bounty yourself?
Well, it isn't
exactly a bounty.
What exactly is it?
It's a fight.
You mean
a boxing fight?
Yeah, that's
exactly
what I mean.
You didn't say nothing
about no fight
in the telegram.
Well, telegrams
are, by their very
nature, brief.
You gotta leave
a few things out.
Like the truth?
I ain't no boxer, Brisco.
I'm a bounty hunter.
And what is hunting
if not confrontation?
Adios, amigo.
Aw, come on, Bowler.
You can take
this guy
in the first round.
And where else
can you make $2,000
for 3 minutes' work?
Show me the cash.
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
Heh heh heh.
[BOXERS GRUNTING]
Well, good day,
Mr. Merriwether.
I didn't expect
to see you...
up and around.
I guess now that
you've retrieved
your little errand boy
you'll be saying adieu
to our fair city.
Well, actually, Brett,
I thought I'd give
you a chance
to win your money back.
That is, of course,
if you've got the guts
to take me on again.
You got to have money
to bet money.
Socrates.
Well, well, well.
You are
full of surprises.
I'll give you that,
Mr. Merriwether.
$5,000 says
Big Daddy Bowler here
can defuse
your Dynamite.
You're on.
[GRUNTING]
He's gonna kill me.
Looking good,
Dynamite.
Real good.
Thanks.
Who are you?
Well, the best thing
that ever happened
to you,
if you're smart,
that is.
I don't understand.
Man, a boxer
with your skills
could make a hell
of a lot of money
out on the circuit,
hell of a lot more
than you make
flooring stiffs
down here.
Mr. Bones takes care
of me alright.
Oh, does he?
Well,
how much does he
pay you per fight?
Come on,
you can tell me.
100 bucks.
Ah!
You take the jabs,
the gut shots,
the roundhouse
rights for a
lousy 100 bucks.
Meanwhile, Bones is
raking in thousands
without even
breaking a sweat.
Now, does that seem
fair, Dynamite?
3,000 bucks,
Dynamite.
This is all yours.
There's a whole
lot more where
that came from.
All you got
to do is take
a dive tomorrow
against
Big Daddy Bowler.
[CROWD BOOS]
Go to your corner.
Okay, now,
you're gonna be
just fine,
Bowler.
As soon as you
hear that bell,
just hit him
hard and get
it over with.
Are you kidding?
Look at that monster.
He's gonna hurt me bad.
Aw! Here,
rinse out.
Oh!
Now, just
remember,
Bowler--
he puts
his pants on
one leg
at a time,
just like you.
[BELL RINGS]
[CROWD CHEERS]
Just punch him,
Bowler.
Punch him!
Come on, Dynamite,
hit him!
REFEREE:
1...
2....
Get up!
3...
Hmm.
4...Get up, you lug!
5...
5 1/2...
6...
7...
8...
9...
10.
That man
is definitely
horizontal...
which ain't all bad.
Dixie...
what are you
doing here?
Well, I was
about to ask you
the same question,
Brisco.
Roscoe.
Roscoe Merriwether.
Oh, brother.
Well, Brett...
looks like your
Dynamite here
is one big dud.
Pay up.
Unfortunately,
the outcome was so
unexpected to me
that I neglected
to bring along my
end of the wager.
What do you mean?
I got mine.
You wouldn't
want these people
around here
thinking that you
welsh on your bets,
do you, pal?
Well, that might be
bad for business.
Excuse me,
Mr. Merriwether,
but I'm certain Mr. Bones
is good for the money.
Where the hell
do you get off
defending him?
You work for me.
Do you
understand that?
You don't ever
cross me...
ever!
You're being
awfully hard on him,
aren't you?
You stay out
of this, Dixie.
Dixie?
Dixie Cousins?
I believe you sent me
a wire about
a business proposal.
That's right.
I did,
which means you're
the reason I'm here.
Delighted.
Hmm.
You two know
one another?
Our paths
have crossed.
We'll talk later, Dixie.
I'll pick up my money
at your riverboat,
in public view.
Ow.
I'm sorry you had
to witness that,
Miss Cousins.
Perhaps we can
conduct our affairs
a little later
in a more
appropriate setting.
I'm performing
tonight at
The Lilac Club.
Come by and see me
backstage afterward.
Well, thank you.
I will,
and I look
forward to it.
How'd it go?
Are you kidding?
A piece of cake.
Bell rang, and I
rang his bell.
Simple as that.
I've had sneezes
that lasted longer.
Really.
Alright,
so we beat Bones
at his own game.
Which means the first part
of our plan worked--
he wants to get even
with me more
than anything now.
So, what's next?
Make him wanna get
Roscoe Merriwether so badly
he doesn't even see
Brisco County Jr. coming.
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
Hey, what's going on?
I'm here to see Brett.
And so you shall,
sir.
I'm sorry we're not able
to offer the full array
of games this evening.
However, we do have one
that very few of our guests
get to play.
Okay, look...
forget about
the 5 grand.
You can have it.
I don't trust you,
Mr. Merriwether.
You're a cheater
and a con.
Though I will confess
to a certain degree
of curiosity
as to your
ultimate ambitions,
I think I'll just
have you killed instead.
I'll make you
a deal.
Unfortunately,
I'm not interested.
Have you ever wondered where
Mr. Hatchett got his name?
Well, looking at his face
I figured it was
just a cruel childhood
taunt that stuck.
[GASPS AND GRUNTS]
BRETT: The wheel of fortune.
It's a wonderful
game of chance.
Would you care
to take a spin?
Actually,
I prefer craps.
Go for the jackpot,
Mr. Hatchett.
Good luck,
Mr. Merriwether.
Yaw!
Yaw!
After him, idiots!
Hyah!
Come on, boy!
Hold it!
Too many witnesses.
Everything go
alright?
Oh, yeah, sure.
Fine. Great.
You look pale.
Well, he was
a little madder
than I expected.
Well,
so much for a rematch.
My job was to make
Bones wanta rematch.
Now, it's Socrates' job
to set it up.
How do I do that?
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING]
Merriwether's
setting you up.
He cheated you
at cards,
and he paid Dynamite
to take a fall.
Really?
Why?
He's trying
to squeeze you
out of Gateway.
He wants control
of the river.
Go on.
He's only got
$50,000 to his name.
If you were willing
to bet that much,
I think I could
get you a rematch.
You could
wipe him out.
That is, if your
fighter doesn't
take another fall.
How do I know you're
not just saying this
to save your own
miserable little life?
You saw how
he treats me.
I've been waiting
a long time
to get out from
under his thumb.
You're the first person
I've come across
who can actually
help me pull it off.
I don't know if
I believe you, Mr. Poole,
but it doesn't
really matter.
Even if Mr. Merriwether
is playing another one
of his little tricks,
he won't get away with it,
and neither will you.
[CLAPPING]
Oh, my, thank you...
so much.
Thank you.
Well, it's past
your bedtime,
isn't it?
I got hungry.
Can I buy you dinner?
Sorry, I've made
other plans.
Oh.
Bones again?
A southern belle
never tells.
You don't want
to get mixed up
with him, Dixie.
He's nothing but trouble.
So, you are jealous.
I'm just trying to stop you
from making a big mistake,
that's all.
Well, thanks,
but I'm a big girl.
I can take care
of myself.
You listen to me, Dixie.
I'm going after Bones,
and you better
not get in my way.
You don't have
any hold on me.
If Brett and I
end up getting in
business together,
my loyalties
are with him.
Oh, and what
business is that?
None of yours.
Excuse me.
If you want to sleep
in the gutter, Dixie,
why don't you
just go do it?
Well, I guess
that tears it.
[GASPS] Brett.
I hope I didn't
startle you, Dixie.
You did say I could come
backstage, didn't you?
Oh, my.
How thoughtful.
I trust you don't
have a problem
accepting gifts
from strange men?
Oh, well, I've got no
problem with strange,
but I do draw the line
with men I don't know.
Well, in that case...
Hmm?
[POP]
Ooh, I just love it
when it does that.
Mr. Poole's
back at the hotel.
Bones took the bait
on the rematch.
Good.
[DIXIE GIGGLING]
Oh, my.
You okay?
Bones always gets
what he wants,
doesn't he?
Yeah, but we're gonna
change that, right?
Now, you sure you still
want me there tomorrow?
Bones will see me, you know.
Oh, I want him
to see you.
Turn up the heat
a little bit.
Make him think
I'm moving into
his territory.
Thanks, Wylie.
Dynamite.
Dynamite!
Boss wants
to talk to you.
Yes, Mr. Bones?
Dynamite, I've
arranged a rematch
with Big Daddy Bowler,
and I wanted you to know
that should you decide
to lose again,
it'll be the last
decision you ever make.
You understand?
Ho ho, he's mad.
Concentrate.
Don't forget.
When you get
in the ring,
dance around
a little--yeah.
Move your feet.
Show some style.
Ha ha.
I like this.
5,000 for a rematch.
Tell you what.
I'll do a rematch
of a rematch for 10,000!
You didn't
tell him?
Tell me what?
Uh...
that fight you had
with Dynamite
was, uh...
fixed.
Say again?
I'm sorry, Bowler,
I couldn't tell you before,
because it had to look real.
Otherwise, Bones
would never have given
us this second fight.
You mean,
I didn't really
knock him out?
Oh, I get it.
So, the next fight's
gonna be fixed, too,
right?
No.
He's gonna kill me!
Oh, come on, Bowler,
you can take him.
You're the toughest
man I know.
I've seen you take on
10 outlaws at once,
and this guy's
not even armed.
All you have to do
is go the distance.
You don't even have
to win for Brisco's
plan to work.
No. No, no, no.
No way. I quit.
Okay, then you can
have the whole bounty
on Bones, okay?
Just don't pull out now.
We're so close, Bowler.
And this. Well...
this means a lot to me.
It means a lot
to me, too.
So, come on.
Mr. Merriwether.
I gather we have
another wager
in the offing.
Not unless I see
your end of it
up-front this time.
How's it going,
Hatchett?
Miss me?
By a couple
of inches.
I wish
we could stay
and converse,
but my new lady friend
awaits me.
Don't think
I've forgotten
about you, Wylie.
[GRUNTING]
Urgh. Uh!
Think I better
practice backing up.
Good idea.
So, you'll put up
the money for the club,
and I'll run things.
And once
I get on my feet,
I'll start
to pay you back.
That's correct.
Heh. I guess
what I'm asking is...
what do you expect
in return?
We're partners,
which is like a marriage
in that we have
no secrets between us.
You help me,
and I help you.
And most importantly,
we share information.
Heh. Now I know why
I never got married.
Well, to be perfectly
frank with you, Dixie,
if you want to be
in business with me,
you'll tell me
what you know
about Mr. Merriwether.
[TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]
I'm afraid I don't know
what you're talking about.
I overheard
your little argument
with him last night,
and I know you know
certain things about him
that I would find
valuable.
How valuable?
It isn't a difficult
decision really, Dixie.
You need a friend,
and I'm offering you
friendship
and a considerable
sum of money.
The only price...
is the truth.
I can't.
It's your choice.
What does Merriwether
have to offer?
Nothing.
He's a bounty hunter.
The fight is just
a distraction.
He's planning
to take you in.
Is that a fact?
And his name isn't
Roscoe Merriwether.
It's Brisco County Jr.
Brisco County Jr.?
Well, well, well.
That goes a long way to
explaining a great deal.
SOCRATES:
There's nobody here.
BOWLER:
Maybe Dynamite
got cold feet.
BRISCO:
I don't think so.
BRISCO:
What's going on,
Hatchett?
HATCHETT:
Been a change in plans.
Follow me.
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Well, good evening,
gentlemen.
What are you trying
to pull here, Bones?
Might that be
the 50,000?
You may as well just
hand it over now,
because your man Bowler,
while quite a competent
bounty hunter,
is no fighter,
or so I'm told.
What are you
talking about?
It would appear you've
attempted to deceive me,
that all this dirty
card playing and
boxing for dollars
is about
fatherly revenge,
isn't it,
Mr. Brisco County Jr.?
The venue's
been changed,
so you can't whisk
me away in the middle
of the fight,
which, I believe,
was your intention.
Was it not?
Someone's got
a big mouth.
You've done
your level best
to sully my reputation.
So, I'm going
to win your money
fair and square
in front of the good
people of Gateway,
and then I'm
gonna kill you.
[RIVERBOAT WHISTLE BLOWS]
[WHISTLE]
[WHISTLE]
REFEREE:
Gentlemen,
let's see this.
You could've set up
a nice little
knife fight, but no!
You had to go
for a real boxing match.
[DING]
Okay, Bowler.
Attack! Attack! Attack!
Ooh!
Uh, retreat!
Retreat! Retreat!
Uh!
I think we need
a new strategy.
Well, all he's got to do
is hang in there
for 12 rounds.
He'll be lucky
to last 12 seconds.
[BELL RINGS]
Oh!
Ahh, that's the way,
Bowler.
Okay, it's time.
Coach him
till I get back.
There's only
6 more rounds.
Where are you going?
I've got
to powder my nose.
Not so fast.
What are you doing
with that gun, Dixie?
I thought
I might need it.
For what?
You know,
I've been wanting
to do that
ever since
you first got here.
Me, too.
Good evening, Captain.
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
[BELL RINGS]
How'd it go?
Fine, but we need
3 more minutes.
He's never going
to make it.
Sure, he will.
How are you doing, Bowler?
Huh?
[BELL RINGS]
3 more minutes,
Bowler.
That's all we need
is 3 more minutes.
He's gotta move.
Bowler! Hey, Bowler!
Huh?
Ooh!
Get back.
Get back!
Bowler, do that thing
with your feet.
Oh, yeah.
Yes!
Yeah!
Alright!
Uhh!
Get up, Bowler!
Get up!
Forget it, Bowler.
You might as well
stay down there,
but that's okay.
He's just got more guts
than you, that's all.
Go ahead, stay down.
Yes! Yes!
What did you
say to him?
A little
reverse psychology.
Watch.
That the best you got?
Argh!
You ain't gettin'
out of this ring
till I let you!
Understand?
Aah!
Aah!
Yeah!
MAN: There she is.
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Get up!
Go, Big Daddy!
Did you see that?
Did you see that?
You want some?
Yeah!
Big Daddy!
Ha ha!
[CRASH]
MAN: Hurry up.
Let's go. I got it.
Come on, boys!
WYLIE:
Right over there, Sheriff.
No--no need, boys.
No need. It's alright.
Mr. Brett Bones?
You're under arrest.
I'm afraid there's been
some misunderstanding,
Sheriff.
If you'll allow me
to illuminate you.
This here
is a Louisiana pardon.
That it is.
I'm afraid it's
no good here, sir.
Just what
do you mean?
Welcome to Mississippi,
Brett.
Oh, I see.
So, this is all
just one big setup
to create
a distraction
and get my boat
out of Louisiana.
And into Mississippi.
Sorry, Brett.
I did like the champagne.
Well-played,
Mr. County.
Well-played indeed.
And I'll be shipping our
fabric upriver now, Bones.
While you rot in prison.
You lost, Brett.
You lost big time,
and my father's smiling.
I'll kill him!
I'll kill him with
my bare hands.
You no-account,
good-for-nothing
weasel!
Beg pardon?
Let me at him!
You'll pay
for this, County!
Nice job, Wylie.
Well, hell,
you did it.
Hey, thanks, Brisco.
And Luther
thanks you.
It doesn't bring him back,
though, does it?
[SIGHS]
No, it doesn't.
But it sure feels good.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
[GRUNTS]
MAN:
Thank you, sir.
Thank you.
Not bad, Roscoe.
Not bad yourself, Dixie.
You gave one heck
of a performance.
So, tell me, Brisco.
Was it all an act,
even the part where
you got jealous?
No. I'm not
that good of an actor.
Maybe next time we can
play the part of lovers.
Maybe next time it doesn't
have to be an act at all.
What is it
about you, Brisco?
Care to take
the long way home
with me?
I wish I could, Dixie.
I wish I could,
but I still have
a job to do.
John Bly's still
out there, and...
Oh, hell.
Ohh.
Send me a telegram...
anytime.
DRIVER:
Come on, girl. Hyah!
[SIGHS]
Ahh.
I feel like
my old self again.
Let's see.
Bowler was paid 3,000
from the 50,000,
plus the bounty on Bones.
Then, there's
the 5,000 bet
deducted from
the original 8,000.
Forget it, Socrates.
You won't have it
figured out
until we get
to Albuquerque.
Come on.
Let's get going.
Worst of all, Brisco,
we're stuck
with that fabric.
Oh, I don't know.
Thought it might make
a good pair of pants.
Pants?
When my employers
find out
it cost them $50,000,
they're going
to crucify me.
Well, maybe if it were
a different color
or faded
or something.
What's
it called, anyway?
Um...
denim.