The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr. (1993–1994): Season 1, Episode 7 - Pirates! - full transcript
[intense music]
Hyah! Hyah!
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
I had a nightmare, mom.
Rest, Charlie.
It's just the fever.
I dreamed that we left Illinois
took a wagon west,
and we were being chased--
Shh, Charlie.
By pirates.
[Clayton]
'Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!'
Nonsense, Charlie.
There are no pirates in Nevada.
Catch that lady!
[indistinct yelling]
[male #1]
'Let's go beyond
and catch that schooner!'
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
[indistinct yelling]
Faster, me matey!
I smell blood!
[music continues]
Hyah! Hyah!
[indistinct yelling]
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
Out with the cannon!
[cannon firing]
[explosion]
[cheering]
[Clayton]
Whoa, whoa!
It's no use, Mary.
It's no use.
Stay inside.
[man coughing]
[male #2]
'Is it ours, captain?'
Right, let's strip 'er down!
That's far enough.
[clanks]
Don't provoke me, sodbuster.
Watch your step.
[grunting]
[chuckles]
[Mary gasps]
[breathing heavily]
My boy's sick.
Take what you want.
Just leave us alone.
- Don't hurt us.
- Hurt a sick boy?
What do you take me for,
a savage?
No, sir.
Leave us alone
or my father will--
[Mary]
Charlie!
Will what?
'Before you go making
empty threats, boy'
let me teach you a lesson.
Aah! No!
[groans]
[laughter]
The world is a cruel
and dangerous place, boy.
Your father can't always
protect himself
let alone you.
Dad! Get up, dad!
[horse snorts]
[male #2]
'Ah-ha.'
[dramatic music]
[horse neighs]
[Brisco]
It's got to be LaCutte.
Okay, Comet, we got to ride.
Hyah!
[theme music]
[intense music]
[crows cawing]
Come on, boy!
Glory be.
Captain..
Still tickin'.
Load up and let's move!
[horse neighing]
There's something
in the air, Big Ed
something that's not right.
[Big Ed]
'Perhaps a storm
on the horizon.'
[wind whooshing]
We're moving!
[dramatic music]
[eagle screeching]
[Comet snorting]
[Mary]
Wait!
What do you expect us
to do out here with nothing?
Dear lady,
I expect you to die.
Sketch!
[horse neighing]
[indistinct yelling]
[indistinct yelling]
[horse neighing]
[crows cawing]
- You folks okay?
- Look what they've done!
They took our money,
our horses, everything.
Please, our boy is sick.
We need to get him to a doctor.
The nearest town
is Homestead Acres.
I'll take you there.
[indistinct chatter]
[instrumental music]
Where's Brisco?
He asked me not to say.
He's out rounding up
one of Bly's gang
and don't want me in his hair.
Did I say that?
No, I did, and I'm right. Right?
Bowler, you owe me $2
for last night's dinner, mister.
I paid you.
"Put it on my tab"
does not mean
you paid me.
[coins clinking]
[thuds]
You know what Brisco's up to?
Well, He rode out yesterday
morning before dawn, said--
Ellie! Please.
It could mean my job.
Ooh, this is serious.
Don't look at me.
I just collect his rent.
Thanks for the drink.
Wait a minute!
What's all this skunking around?
What's County up to?
- I really have to be going.
- Hold on!
Somethin' is going on here.
You better tell me, Poole.
Bowler, please, this piracy
has to be kept out of the press.
- 'Piracy?'
- It's just a figure of speech.
Mm. Or is it Blackbeard LaCutte?
The last I heard,
he's working out in, uh, Nevada.
Mm. Some kind of investment
had gone sour?
That Homestead Acres thing,
ain't it?
'Huh. That planned
community thing.'
I didn't say a word.
Ellie, you're my witness.
Absolutely.
LaCutte.
$25,000 price on his head.
Brisco could definitely
use a little help on this one.
Ahh.
Look what I'm doing to my son
my wife.
You didn't do it
on your own, Clayton.
We all agreed to come west.
Yeah, but I sold everything.
Sold the house, the land
couple head of cattle
we had, everything.
For what?
Three months on a wagon
and every dream we ever had
scattered across this hellhole.
Uh, so you had a run
of bad luck. That's all.
You can't let it knock you down.
What do you know
about bad luck, mister?
My name's County.
If it means anything to you
the man that raided you
was the same man
that killed my father.
Your father was
Brisco County Sr.?
- Yes, ma'am.
- W-we read about him back home.
It was men like your father
that made us feel
we had a chance out here.
That's what I'm doing out here
trying to round up men
like Blackbeard LaCutte.
Blackbeard LaCutte?
He's a bottom-feeding
Caribbean pirate
who got chased off
the high seas.
He hooked up
with John Bly's gang.
So, you're going after him
and his gang all by yourself?
I work better that way.
Well, you're either the bravest
man I ever met or the dumbest.
You should get out more.
Clayton.
Charlie's burning up.
Come on, boy.
[clicking tongue]
[thuds]
We need a doctor.
- Where's the doctor, kid?
- That's me. I'm a doctor.
'Put the boy on the table.'
[Mary]
'Are you sure
you're the doctor?'
You're not the doctor's
assistant or something?
Degree's on the wall.
His glands are a little swollen,
and he's breathing hard.
Heartbeat's a little fast.
Yeah. He's got a fever, too.
- Diphtheria?
- That's what I'm thinking.
Got any bi-chloride of mercury?
- I don't have any.
- Why not?
Supplies have been
completely wiped out
by Blackbeard LaCutte
and his men.
'Sometimes they raid the town.'
Sometimes they just
raid the supply wagons en route.
Well, I got a home remedy
that might work.
I need a fistful of parsnips--
Forget it. General store's
been stripped bare.
Well, we have to do something!
Well, you can start by giving
him a cold compress on his head.
And letting him get some rest.
[mellow music]
If that boy doesn't
get some real medicine
he's not gonna make it.
[sighs]
[instrumental music]
Whoa.
[gun cocks]
Lot of horses.
And a stagecoach?
It's a raiding party.
[chuckles]
And Comet with Brisco.
And you took a man, a woman
and what was you carryin'?
A child?
Oh, Brisco, you softie.
Well...that big heart of yours
is gonna cheat you right out
of Blackbeard's bounty.
[chuckles]
[horse neighing]
What am I gonna do?
I can help you, Clayton.
How? You heard
what the doctor said.
Blackbeard LaCutte
has the medicine.
I'm gonna find him
and get it back.
Well, I'm going with you.
No, your place is
with your family.
You help them.
[dramatic music]
[chuckles]
You know them?
They're here.
Those are the pirates
that attacked us.
[indistinct chatter]
Don't stare at them, Mr. County.
They're liable
to come over here.
Let 'em.
Whiskey.
Did I say you could pour it?
[grunting]
[spits]
What is this, kerosene?
[bottle shatters]
[man grunts]
[spits]
Gives new meaning
to the word "rotgut."
Hey, sweetheart..
[clatters]
- Where's the good stuff?
- 'That's all we have left.'
Oh, well, then, I guess
I'll have to take you instead.
- Won't I?
- Stop it! Let me go!
Oh, come on, honey,
don't make such a ruckus.
- 'Let go of me!'
- Excuse me.
That's not your waitress
and my drink's on the floor.
- Yeah? What of it?
- Let her go.
- 'Get out of my way.'
- 'Now, wait a minute.'
What exactly was it I said
you didn't understand?
[chuckles]
Aah! Aah! Aah!
[grunting]
Hold him.
[gunshot]
[intense music]
[grunting]
[clatters]
[sighs]
[gasps]
[indistinct chatter]
[horse galloping]
Looks like one got away.
Somebody go get the sheriff
tell him to lock these men up.
Appreciate the help, Bowler.
Yeah, you lucky I showed up.
I had things under control.
Sure, you did.
What are you doing here anyway?
Gettin' some supplies.
You're not gonna
find them here.
LaCutte already stake his claim?
[sighs]
Yeah. Not for much longer.
Hah!
What do you mean, "Hah?"
Hah! It's gonna take more than
one well-intentioned ex-lawyer
to round up Blackbeard LaCutte
and his gang.
You wouldn't be offering
to help, would you?
Maybe. You offering me a reward?
I'm not in this
for the money, Bowler.
Then we got a deal.
Okay.
[instrumental music]
He cut off the trail.
Headed for that pass up there.
No, looks more like that gulch.
[Bowler]
I've been thinking about
reconsidering our partnership.
[Brisco]
Why?
[Bowler]
I can't be in business
with a man
who ain't got no head
for business.
[Brisco]
Can't says I know
what you're talking about.
[Bowler]
That's what worries me.
So, you got a plan?
Yeah, I think we should try
and see what we're up against
before we try
and get that medicine back.
We're up against a good
15 riders based on them tracks.
Nah. Ten, tops.
Fifteen,
led by Blackbeard LaCutte
who we're after, not medicine.
That boy's gonna die without it.
[horse snorts]
Brisco, if I'm gonna go walking
into the lion's den
I don't wanna do it
with some fool
who's gone soft in the head.
Well, some friend you are.
I ain't your friend,
just your partner.
Do you even have friends?
Had a friend once.
What happened?
Didn't work out.
Hyah!
[dramatic music]
[laughter]
[crows cawing]
[wind howling]
[indistinct chatter]
- Smells bad in here.
- 'Quiet!'
[instrumental music]
[indistinct chatter]
[male #3]
'Hey, let's have more rum.'
You want the ten on the left
or the ten on the right?
Right now, I want medicine
for a sick kid.
So, what's the plan?
We sneak in, get the medicine
sneak out, and regroup
before we get LaCutte.
- You call that a plan?
- Cover me.
Brisco, where you going?
Sketch, let's revel
in your work.
[Sketch]
Right away. Ha-ha-ha!
Here you are, sir.
[indistinct chatter]
Let me see.
Yes, indeed.
[Sketch]
'Thank you, sir.'
[LaCutte]
Now, this one..
Well, perhaps
I could give your cheeks
a bit more of the chiseled look.
[laughing]
Are you suggesting
that you failed to capture
the true chiseled nature
of my countenance?
'Or do you mean to imply'
'that my features lack
a chiseled quality?'
I mean only to suggest, sir
that which you find
the least objectionable
and the most flattering.
Hurry up.
Well, in that case,
I deem this picture
to be good and true,
and worthy of its subject.
[Sketch]
Oh, thank you, sir!
A welcome addition
to the memoirs of my exploits.
Hear, hear!
[man grunts]
One day, children will
tell tales of my escapades.
The pirate compelled
from the high seas
by the forces of good
'pushed onto the land'
where he turned tragedy
into triumph.
- Hear, hear!
- Hear, hear.
Big Ed.
Aye, sir.
What have you
brought me from town?
Nothing.
Nothing?
[Big Ed]
'No, sir, I was broadsided'
by two rogues in the saloon.
'I was lucky to escape
with my life.'
- A couple, you say?
- Aye.
- Two?
- Two.
Against four of my men?
Captain, they were
definitely professionals.
[LaCutte]
'Just what we don't need.'
Do-gooders settin'
a positive example
for those beaten-down
homesteaders.
- Aye.
- Aye.
Find them and bring them to me.
Aye, captain.
Sketch!
[dramatic music]
Wait. Who's this, Sketch?
I don't know.
Well, I'll tell you.
Intruders!
[clamoring]
[Big Ed]
'Captain.'
[gun cocks]
Meet the men from town.
Nice going.
Just let me do the talking.
Who are you?
We're not looking
for any trouble.
We just need some medical
supplies for a sick boy.
- A sick boy?
- That's right.
Just let me keep what I got
and we'll be on our way.
But I have no sympathy
for sick boys.
To the pit.
[clamoring]
Next time, we go with my plan.
Ah, quicksand.
A cruel irony.
Terra firma, yet liquefied.
Imagine drowning
in the middle of a desert.
[laughter]
Weaver, pick up
that anchor, will ya?
Aye, captain.
Ever wonder what happens
as you sink below the surface?
You hold your breath
for as long as you can.
But you know it's for naught.
It's only a matter of time
before you gasp for air
but all you get
is a lungful of sand.
Now, Weaver.
Empty your pockets, lad.
- Pockets, sir?
- Aye.
Help him, lads.
He's got that heavy weight.
[gun clicks]
I don't know
how those got there.
Did you really think
you could steal from me
and get away with it?
I meant to put them back,
captain. Honest, I did.
Well, no matter.
It's water under the bridge.
Or in your case,
a rogue in the sand.
Aah!
[screaming]
[Weaver choking]
[chuckles]
[LaCutte]
'Gentlemen.'
When you see Weaver
tell him he can
let go of the anchor.
[laughter]
Whoa!
[grunting]
Better luck
in the next world, lads.
[grunting]
Men!
[dramatic music]
[grunting]
[horse neighing]
[indistinct yelling]
Quit moving around so much.
You're just making it worse.
- Worse than what?
- We have to work together.
Otherwise, we don't
stand a chance.
Give it up, Brisco.
Nobody gets out of quicksand.
What makes you so sure?
You know anybody
who fell into quicksand?
- No.
- Need I say more?
Wait a minute, Bowler.
Which boot is your knife in?
My right.
Okay, good.
[grunting]
[dramatic music]
Just a little...bit further.
Ahh.
Okay, I, I got it.
Now.. Now hold still.
I'm gonna try
and cut through the rope.
We're not cutting nothing else.
If I'm gonna die,
I wanna die in one piece.
[grunts]
You did it! You did it!
Okay.
[music continues]
[whistles]
Comet!
[whinnies]
Okay, whoa, boy.
'Don't come any closer.'
Okay, Bowler,
get ready to push me up.
Ohh!
- Ohh!
- Okay.
[grunting]
[grunting]
[neighing]
[Brisco]
'Well, it was close.'
Come on, do it, Brisco.
You got one chance left.
Okay, get ready.
Okay, up, up, up!
[grunting]
[grunting]
Okay.
Grab it. Ready? Okay.
Pull, Comet! Pull! Pull!
Come on. You can do it, Comet!
[neighing]
[laughs]
Thank you, Lord.
Thank you, Comet.
[whinnies]
Oh, ye of little faith.
[laughing]
[dramatic music]
Aye. He's still alive.
I suppose you're wondering
why I spared your life?
Well, I like that,
selected memory.
As I recall, you left me to die.
I spared my own life.
Yes, so you did
Mr. Brisco County Jr.
I understand
this is the only gun
like it in the world.
Last time I saw it, I believe
it fell from your father's hand
right after me and Bly
and his gang killed him
if memory serves me.
So, why do you want me alive?
It's common knowledge
you've been hired
to round up Bly and his gang.
I've taken the liberty
of wiring your employers
and ransoming you
for one million dollars.
You're wasting
your time, LaCutte.
They'll never pay that.
Modesty is a useless trait, sir.
They will do anything
to avoid the horrific publicity
that would surround
your capture.
Very soon, I'll be back
on the high seas.
Enough of this
small-time looting.
In one fell swoop
I will have enough money
to build my own warship.
'A ship that no navy
in its right mind'
would come near.
But...first things first.
After you, sir.
Behold, gentlemen,
Brisco County Jr.
Feared by criminals
and revered by the citizenry
not unlike his father.
In short,
a legend in the makin'.
'Which brings me
to today's lesson.'
Legends are rarely what
they're cracked up to be.
- 'Aye.'
- 'Ha-ha.'
These two
Brisco and Bowler
are touted as the West's
greatest bounty hunters.
But as you will see today
they bleed.
- They cry.
- 'That they do.'
They are weak.
- Big Ed!
- Captain.
Show the men.
[dramatic music]
Let him go, LaCutte.
I'm the one you want, not him.
Oh, it's true. It's true.
'And I would like
to make my point'
'with you instead, Mr. County.'
But, unfortunately,
you have value
value which I hope to...exploit.
So, we'll leave you unharmed.
Bowler, on the other hand
'has no such luck.'
'He's utterly
worthless to anyone.'
Break his spirit, Big Ed.
- 'Yes.'
- 'Come on, Big Ed.'
[whip cracks]
[whip cracks]
[whip cracks]
[grunting]
[clamoring]
[intense music]
[grunts]
[clattering]
- Let's go, Bowler.
- I'm with you.
Ah, off of me!
Lower the portcullis.
[grunting]
[grunts]
Aah!
[both grunting]
Forget about me! Go!
Come on, damn it! Lift!
Oh, it's no use!
Save yourself.
I'm not leaving
without you, Bowler.
You ain't got no choice.
Go!
[indistinct chatter]
[Bowler]
Alright. Alright.
Blackbeard LaCutte
will kill Brisco
if we don't meet his demands.
Mr. Poole, if you think
I'm empowered to give away money
every time a bounty hunter
gets in a bind
you're mistaken.
Mr. Cartwright,
you're not being realistic.
What's realistic to me
is the bottom line.
One million dollars
off the books
doesn't work for me.
You wanna talk bottom line?
Brisco is the best investment
they've ever made.
His bounty hunting has saved
them ten times that amount.
Remind me to send him
a box of candy
for all his hard work.
You cannot just let him die.
He knew the risks
when he signed on, Poole.
And I think your time
would be better spent
soliciting his replacement.
[dramatic music]
Hey, can I get you anything?
You alright, Socrates?
Ellie, I don't believe it.
They don't even care about him.
Well, that's because
they don't have to.
See, you need to know
what's inside somebody
what makes them tick
to care about them.
These guys don't care.
It's unbelievable.
You gotta do somethin'.
Ellie, you're right.
I'm going out there.
Socrates..
...you be careful.
[instrumental music]
- How you feeling, kid?
- Not so bad.
Maybe not so good either, huh?
I'll be okay now, won't I?
Oh, sure, you will, Charlie.
This medicine that Mr. County
brought will fix you right up.
Is it true you took it right out
from under the pirates' noses?
Uh, yeah, something like that.
Wow! Wasn't that dangerous?
Oh, maybe just a little bit,
but I had some help.
My dad?
No, Charlie.
He wanted to.
'He wanted to come,
but I wouldn't let him.'
[Charlie]
'It doesn't matter.'
- Where are you going?
- I need to help a friend.
You try to get some sleep now,
Charlie.
I think Charlie wishes
his father were more like you.
Well, that would be a bad idea.
I had a father like me.
Well, he's only a boy,
Mr. County.
'And when he looks at you,
he sees all the things'
he's only dreamed about
come to life..
...brave and rugged cowboy
'who can ride
and rope and shoot'
'and isn't afraid of anything.'
'He sees a hero.'
I know that Charlie feels
that way right now, Mrs. Sims
but I hope, as he grows up
he realizes that
the real heroes in life
'are the men like his father.'
It takes real courage
to move your family
in search of a better life.
'I look up to your husband.'
'Charlie should, too.'
He does.
Sometimes he just forgets.
Let me know how he feels
when he wakes up.
I will, and thank you.
What is wrong with you people?
'Are you just gonna sit there'
'and let Blackbeard LaCutte
walk all over you?'
The man he's holding out there
put his life on the line
for my son.
Now, we owe it to him
to go out there
and try and bring him back!
'I, for one,
did not come 1,200 miles'
to let that marauder
ruin my life!
Now, if we band together
we can stand up to him.
There is strength in numbers.
'So, who's with me?'
Come on, who's gonna stand up
to Blackbeard LaCutte?
I am.
Huh?
[instrumental music]
Nobody?
I can't believe that.
What kind of men are you?
I don't need your help!
That's a fine speech, Clayton.
And if these people
don't appreciate it
then forget about them.
You and I will do it.
[indistinct chatter]
We'll go after
LaCutte ourselves.
Come on.
[eagle screeching]
Egh! What fresh hell is this?
[Big Ed]
'Up ahead, captain!'
[intense music]
[Big Ed]
Whoa!
[horse neighs]
Mr. LaCutte
I'm Socrates Poole
'attorney-at-law
and general counsel'
for the Westerfield Club.
I've come to negotiate
for the release
of Brisco County Jr.
Where's the money?
Where's Brisco County Jr.?
- Safe.
- So is the money.
Let me see him,
and I'll draw you a map.
You buried it?
Shall we negotiate?
[laughing]
[dramatic music]
It's dank, not what I'm used to.
The outside is no better.
'The heat, the dust,
the stench of horses..'
'Gentlemen'
meet the man who's going
to help change that
put us back on the high seas.
- Where's County?
- 'Who wants to know?'
Bowler.
Uh, welcome to the party, Poole.
Where's County?
Gone.
- You killed him?
- No.
I'm afraid Brisco
has left the cavern.
Then we have nothing
to negotiate.
Aye, we do. Here are my terms.
You tell me where the money is,
I'll dig it up.
Don't be ridiculous.
[whimpering]
Alright!
Here's my final offer.
Tell me where the money is,
and you can dig it up.
- Poole, tell him.
- I can't.
- Do it!
- Tell him!
- Tell me or die!
- I can't.
- Then you die.
- I can't.
There isn't any money.
I didn't bring it.
They wouldn't approve it.
- You're bluffing.
- I am, the whole thing.
Everything's a bluff.
Everything.
There isn't any money!
[indistinct chatter]
Then what are you doing here?
[sighs]
What I can to help a friend.
Loyalty..
...a concept that's cost you
your life.
[dramatic music]
[dramatic music]
[indistinct yelling]
Is the coach loaded?
Filled to the gills
with as much loot as possible.
Excellent.
Ready the horses.
I'll give the men
their final orders.
Aye.
Don't just hang there,
do something.
What you got in mind?
[crow cawing]
Give me that bottle!
[horse neighing]
- Aah!
- Aah!
[intense music]
Okay, wait here.
If anybody comes out of there
do your best to stop them.
Gentlemen, the time has come.
In all our years together
you've never known me
to be honorable.
I've the morals of a shark
the ethics of a swine
and the blackest heart
this side of hell.
So this should come
as no surprise.
[indistinct yelling]
No hard feelings, lads.
You've been
a good and true bevy.
And I wish you well..
...well, as well as hell can be.
In the next world, lads.
[indistinct yelling]
My sincerest apologies,
gentlemen
but time is of the essence.
'The seas all around me
are getting much too rough.'
And my sailor's bones tell me
that Homestead Acres
is all fished out.
Point well taken.
[grunting]
Have at ya!
Gesundheit!
[swords clanking]
[grunting]
I'm going to enjoy this.
[clanking]
[intense music]
A simple matter of time.
You're good
but not good enough.
Now, your father..
...he was the best
but even that couldn't
keep him alive.
All those bullets
piercing his heart
like this blade
will pierce yours.
[grunting]
[music continues]
I've got news for you.
Aah!
The day you killed my father
was the day
you sealed your own fate.
[grunting]
Mr. County, I think
your ship just sailed.
- Oh!
- Oh!
[both whimpering]
[gun clicks]
[gunshot]
[both sighing]
Nothing like a little wine
to calm your nerves.
[horse neighing]
Hey!
Where you going,
you four-legged dragons?
[Clayton]
'I guess they got away.'
[grunts]
[grunts]
[dramatic music]
[horse neighing]
Hyah! Hyah!
[whistles]
[Brisco]
'Come on, boy.'
What about me?
Take care of him.
Hyah!
[music continues]
[grunting]
[Brisco]
Blackbeard, stop!
[grunts]
[screaming]
Damn you, County!
Give me your hand.
Okay, pull.
You're coming in with me.
Give it up. It's over.
For the both of us.
[grunting]
Don't lose my bounty, Brisco.
[grunting]
Come on.
[panting]
[eagle screeching]
[indistinct chatter]
- 'Thank you very much.'
- 'Okay. Here you go.'
It looks like Christmas
around here.
- Yeah, I hate Christmas.
- How come?
'Cause, I never get nothing,
like now.
People getting their things back
the state getting
LaCutte's gang behind bars.
What about me?
He said you could have
the bounty on LaCutte.
Well, that's real nice.
You can't claim a reward
without a body!
We all saw LaCutte go down.
I can vouch for that.
- Yeah?
- Sure.
That's what friends
are for, Bowler.
Don't just stand there.
Shake his hand.
This some kind of trick?
No.
[instrumental music]
Don't go expecting no sappy
thank-you note or nothin'.
Never even crossed my mind.
Mr. County! Mr. County!
We found everything,
even grandpa's watch.
Well, will you look at that?
How can we ever thank you,
Mr. County?
Oh, I had a lot of help.
Charlie, you know, your dad here
he did some pretty fancy things
out there.
Really?
[Socrates]
'Maybe we should recruit him'
'to help you round up
the rest of Bly's gang.'
Thanks for everything,
Mr. County.
Charlie..
...you're welcome.
[indistinct chatter]
Clayton..
...you make all those dreams
come true now.
You bet we will.
Come on, partner.
Dad!
[Clayton grunts]
[Clayton laughs]
Well, gentlemen
'shall we ride?'
You know, Bowler
there's one question
I never asked.
[Bowler]
'Hmm?'
How did you find out
that I was out here
on this hush-hush mission?
Ahem.
Hyah!
That's what I thought.
Hyah!
[instrumental music]
[theme music]
Hyah! Hyah!
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
I had a nightmare, mom.
Rest, Charlie.
It's just the fever.
I dreamed that we left Illinois
took a wagon west,
and we were being chased--
Shh, Charlie.
By pirates.
[Clayton]
'Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!'
Nonsense, Charlie.
There are no pirates in Nevada.
Catch that lady!
[indistinct yelling]
[male #1]
'Let's go beyond
and catch that schooner!'
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
[indistinct yelling]
Faster, me matey!
I smell blood!
[music continues]
Hyah! Hyah!
[indistinct yelling]
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
Out with the cannon!
[cannon firing]
[explosion]
[cheering]
[Clayton]
Whoa, whoa!
It's no use, Mary.
It's no use.
Stay inside.
[man coughing]
[male #2]
'Is it ours, captain?'
Right, let's strip 'er down!
That's far enough.
[clanks]
Don't provoke me, sodbuster.
Watch your step.
[grunting]
[chuckles]
[Mary gasps]
[breathing heavily]
My boy's sick.
Take what you want.
Just leave us alone.
- Don't hurt us.
- Hurt a sick boy?
What do you take me for,
a savage?
No, sir.
Leave us alone
or my father will--
[Mary]
Charlie!
Will what?
'Before you go making
empty threats, boy'
let me teach you a lesson.
Aah! No!
[groans]
[laughter]
The world is a cruel
and dangerous place, boy.
Your father can't always
protect himself
let alone you.
Dad! Get up, dad!
[horse snorts]
[male #2]
'Ah-ha.'
[dramatic music]
[horse neighs]
[Brisco]
It's got to be LaCutte.
Okay, Comet, we got to ride.
Hyah!
[theme music]
[intense music]
[crows cawing]
Come on, boy!
Glory be.
Captain..
Still tickin'.
Load up and let's move!
[horse neighing]
There's something
in the air, Big Ed
something that's not right.
[Big Ed]
'Perhaps a storm
on the horizon.'
[wind whooshing]
We're moving!
[dramatic music]
[eagle screeching]
[Comet snorting]
[Mary]
Wait!
What do you expect us
to do out here with nothing?
Dear lady,
I expect you to die.
Sketch!
[horse neighing]
[indistinct yelling]
[indistinct yelling]
[horse neighing]
[crows cawing]
- You folks okay?
- Look what they've done!
They took our money,
our horses, everything.
Please, our boy is sick.
We need to get him to a doctor.
The nearest town
is Homestead Acres.
I'll take you there.
[indistinct chatter]
[instrumental music]
Where's Brisco?
He asked me not to say.
He's out rounding up
one of Bly's gang
and don't want me in his hair.
Did I say that?
No, I did, and I'm right. Right?
Bowler, you owe me $2
for last night's dinner, mister.
I paid you.
"Put it on my tab"
does not mean
you paid me.
[coins clinking]
[thuds]
You know what Brisco's up to?
Well, He rode out yesterday
morning before dawn, said--
Ellie! Please.
It could mean my job.
Ooh, this is serious.
Don't look at me.
I just collect his rent.
Thanks for the drink.
Wait a minute!
What's all this skunking around?
What's County up to?
- I really have to be going.
- Hold on!
Somethin' is going on here.
You better tell me, Poole.
Bowler, please, this piracy
has to be kept out of the press.
- 'Piracy?'
- It's just a figure of speech.
Mm. Or is it Blackbeard LaCutte?
The last I heard,
he's working out in, uh, Nevada.
Mm. Some kind of investment
had gone sour?
That Homestead Acres thing,
ain't it?
'Huh. That planned
community thing.'
I didn't say a word.
Ellie, you're my witness.
Absolutely.
LaCutte.
$25,000 price on his head.
Brisco could definitely
use a little help on this one.
Ahh.
Look what I'm doing to my son
my wife.
You didn't do it
on your own, Clayton.
We all agreed to come west.
Yeah, but I sold everything.
Sold the house, the land
couple head of cattle
we had, everything.
For what?
Three months on a wagon
and every dream we ever had
scattered across this hellhole.
Uh, so you had a run
of bad luck. That's all.
You can't let it knock you down.
What do you know
about bad luck, mister?
My name's County.
If it means anything to you
the man that raided you
was the same man
that killed my father.
Your father was
Brisco County Sr.?
- Yes, ma'am.
- W-we read about him back home.
It was men like your father
that made us feel
we had a chance out here.
That's what I'm doing out here
trying to round up men
like Blackbeard LaCutte.
Blackbeard LaCutte?
He's a bottom-feeding
Caribbean pirate
who got chased off
the high seas.
He hooked up
with John Bly's gang.
So, you're going after him
and his gang all by yourself?
I work better that way.
Well, you're either the bravest
man I ever met or the dumbest.
You should get out more.
Clayton.
Charlie's burning up.
Come on, boy.
[clicking tongue]
[thuds]
We need a doctor.
- Where's the doctor, kid?
- That's me. I'm a doctor.
'Put the boy on the table.'
[Mary]
'Are you sure
you're the doctor?'
You're not the doctor's
assistant or something?
Degree's on the wall.
His glands are a little swollen,
and he's breathing hard.
Heartbeat's a little fast.
Yeah. He's got a fever, too.
- Diphtheria?
- That's what I'm thinking.
Got any bi-chloride of mercury?
- I don't have any.
- Why not?
Supplies have been
completely wiped out
by Blackbeard LaCutte
and his men.
'Sometimes they raid the town.'
Sometimes they just
raid the supply wagons en route.
Well, I got a home remedy
that might work.
I need a fistful of parsnips--
Forget it. General store's
been stripped bare.
Well, we have to do something!
Well, you can start by giving
him a cold compress on his head.
And letting him get some rest.
[mellow music]
If that boy doesn't
get some real medicine
he's not gonna make it.
[sighs]
[instrumental music]
Whoa.
[gun cocks]
Lot of horses.
And a stagecoach?
It's a raiding party.
[chuckles]
And Comet with Brisco.
And you took a man, a woman
and what was you carryin'?
A child?
Oh, Brisco, you softie.
Well...that big heart of yours
is gonna cheat you right out
of Blackbeard's bounty.
[chuckles]
[horse neighing]
What am I gonna do?
I can help you, Clayton.
How? You heard
what the doctor said.
Blackbeard LaCutte
has the medicine.
I'm gonna find him
and get it back.
Well, I'm going with you.
No, your place is
with your family.
You help them.
[dramatic music]
[chuckles]
You know them?
They're here.
Those are the pirates
that attacked us.
[indistinct chatter]
Don't stare at them, Mr. County.
They're liable
to come over here.
Let 'em.
Whiskey.
Did I say you could pour it?
[grunting]
[spits]
What is this, kerosene?
[bottle shatters]
[man grunts]
[spits]
Gives new meaning
to the word "rotgut."
Hey, sweetheart..
[clatters]
- Where's the good stuff?
- 'That's all we have left.'
Oh, well, then, I guess
I'll have to take you instead.
- Won't I?
- Stop it! Let me go!
Oh, come on, honey,
don't make such a ruckus.
- 'Let go of me!'
- Excuse me.
That's not your waitress
and my drink's on the floor.
- Yeah? What of it?
- Let her go.
- 'Get out of my way.'
- 'Now, wait a minute.'
What exactly was it I said
you didn't understand?
[chuckles]
Aah! Aah! Aah!
[grunting]
Hold him.
[gunshot]
[intense music]
[grunting]
[clatters]
[sighs]
[gasps]
[indistinct chatter]
[horse galloping]
Looks like one got away.
Somebody go get the sheriff
tell him to lock these men up.
Appreciate the help, Bowler.
Yeah, you lucky I showed up.
I had things under control.
Sure, you did.
What are you doing here anyway?
Gettin' some supplies.
You're not gonna
find them here.
LaCutte already stake his claim?
[sighs]
Yeah. Not for much longer.
Hah!
What do you mean, "Hah?"
Hah! It's gonna take more than
one well-intentioned ex-lawyer
to round up Blackbeard LaCutte
and his gang.
You wouldn't be offering
to help, would you?
Maybe. You offering me a reward?
I'm not in this
for the money, Bowler.
Then we got a deal.
Okay.
[instrumental music]
He cut off the trail.
Headed for that pass up there.
No, looks more like that gulch.
[Bowler]
I've been thinking about
reconsidering our partnership.
[Brisco]
Why?
[Bowler]
I can't be in business
with a man
who ain't got no head
for business.
[Brisco]
Can't says I know
what you're talking about.
[Bowler]
That's what worries me.
So, you got a plan?
Yeah, I think we should try
and see what we're up against
before we try
and get that medicine back.
We're up against a good
15 riders based on them tracks.
Nah. Ten, tops.
Fifteen,
led by Blackbeard LaCutte
who we're after, not medicine.
That boy's gonna die without it.
[horse snorts]
Brisco, if I'm gonna go walking
into the lion's den
I don't wanna do it
with some fool
who's gone soft in the head.
Well, some friend you are.
I ain't your friend,
just your partner.
Do you even have friends?
Had a friend once.
What happened?
Didn't work out.
Hyah!
[dramatic music]
[laughter]
[crows cawing]
[wind howling]
[indistinct chatter]
- Smells bad in here.
- 'Quiet!'
[instrumental music]
[indistinct chatter]
[male #3]
'Hey, let's have more rum.'
You want the ten on the left
or the ten on the right?
Right now, I want medicine
for a sick kid.
So, what's the plan?
We sneak in, get the medicine
sneak out, and regroup
before we get LaCutte.
- You call that a plan?
- Cover me.
Brisco, where you going?
Sketch, let's revel
in your work.
[Sketch]
Right away. Ha-ha-ha!
Here you are, sir.
[indistinct chatter]
Let me see.
Yes, indeed.
[Sketch]
'Thank you, sir.'
[LaCutte]
Now, this one..
Well, perhaps
I could give your cheeks
a bit more of the chiseled look.
[laughing]
Are you suggesting
that you failed to capture
the true chiseled nature
of my countenance?
'Or do you mean to imply'
'that my features lack
a chiseled quality?'
I mean only to suggest, sir
that which you find
the least objectionable
and the most flattering.
Hurry up.
Well, in that case,
I deem this picture
to be good and true,
and worthy of its subject.
[Sketch]
Oh, thank you, sir!
A welcome addition
to the memoirs of my exploits.
Hear, hear!
[man grunts]
One day, children will
tell tales of my escapades.
The pirate compelled
from the high seas
by the forces of good
'pushed onto the land'
where he turned tragedy
into triumph.
- Hear, hear!
- Hear, hear.
Big Ed.
Aye, sir.
What have you
brought me from town?
Nothing.
Nothing?
[Big Ed]
'No, sir, I was broadsided'
by two rogues in the saloon.
'I was lucky to escape
with my life.'
- A couple, you say?
- Aye.
- Two?
- Two.
Against four of my men?
Captain, they were
definitely professionals.
[LaCutte]
'Just what we don't need.'
Do-gooders settin'
a positive example
for those beaten-down
homesteaders.
- Aye.
- Aye.
Find them and bring them to me.
Aye, captain.
Sketch!
[dramatic music]
Wait. Who's this, Sketch?
I don't know.
Well, I'll tell you.
Intruders!
[clamoring]
[Big Ed]
'Captain.'
[gun cocks]
Meet the men from town.
Nice going.
Just let me do the talking.
Who are you?
We're not looking
for any trouble.
We just need some medical
supplies for a sick boy.
- A sick boy?
- That's right.
Just let me keep what I got
and we'll be on our way.
But I have no sympathy
for sick boys.
To the pit.
[clamoring]
Next time, we go with my plan.
Ah, quicksand.
A cruel irony.
Terra firma, yet liquefied.
Imagine drowning
in the middle of a desert.
[laughter]
Weaver, pick up
that anchor, will ya?
Aye, captain.
Ever wonder what happens
as you sink below the surface?
You hold your breath
for as long as you can.
But you know it's for naught.
It's only a matter of time
before you gasp for air
but all you get
is a lungful of sand.
Now, Weaver.
Empty your pockets, lad.
- Pockets, sir?
- Aye.
Help him, lads.
He's got that heavy weight.
[gun clicks]
I don't know
how those got there.
Did you really think
you could steal from me
and get away with it?
I meant to put them back,
captain. Honest, I did.
Well, no matter.
It's water under the bridge.
Or in your case,
a rogue in the sand.
Aah!
[screaming]
[Weaver choking]
[chuckles]
[LaCutte]
'Gentlemen.'
When you see Weaver
tell him he can
let go of the anchor.
[laughter]
Whoa!
[grunting]
Better luck
in the next world, lads.
[grunting]
Men!
[dramatic music]
[grunting]
[horse neighing]
[indistinct yelling]
Quit moving around so much.
You're just making it worse.
- Worse than what?
- We have to work together.
Otherwise, we don't
stand a chance.
Give it up, Brisco.
Nobody gets out of quicksand.
What makes you so sure?
You know anybody
who fell into quicksand?
- No.
- Need I say more?
Wait a minute, Bowler.
Which boot is your knife in?
My right.
Okay, good.
[grunting]
[dramatic music]
Just a little...bit further.
Ahh.
Okay, I, I got it.
Now.. Now hold still.
I'm gonna try
and cut through the rope.
We're not cutting nothing else.
If I'm gonna die,
I wanna die in one piece.
[grunts]
You did it! You did it!
Okay.
[music continues]
[whistles]
Comet!
[whinnies]
Okay, whoa, boy.
'Don't come any closer.'
Okay, Bowler,
get ready to push me up.
Ohh!
- Ohh!
- Okay.
[grunting]
[grunting]
[neighing]
[Brisco]
'Well, it was close.'
Come on, do it, Brisco.
You got one chance left.
Okay, get ready.
Okay, up, up, up!
[grunting]
[grunting]
Okay.
Grab it. Ready? Okay.
Pull, Comet! Pull! Pull!
Come on. You can do it, Comet!
[neighing]
[laughs]
Thank you, Lord.
Thank you, Comet.
[whinnies]
Oh, ye of little faith.
[laughing]
[dramatic music]
Aye. He's still alive.
I suppose you're wondering
why I spared your life?
Well, I like that,
selected memory.
As I recall, you left me to die.
I spared my own life.
Yes, so you did
Mr. Brisco County Jr.
I understand
this is the only gun
like it in the world.
Last time I saw it, I believe
it fell from your father's hand
right after me and Bly
and his gang killed him
if memory serves me.
So, why do you want me alive?
It's common knowledge
you've been hired
to round up Bly and his gang.
I've taken the liberty
of wiring your employers
and ransoming you
for one million dollars.
You're wasting
your time, LaCutte.
They'll never pay that.
Modesty is a useless trait, sir.
They will do anything
to avoid the horrific publicity
that would surround
your capture.
Very soon, I'll be back
on the high seas.
Enough of this
small-time looting.
In one fell swoop
I will have enough money
to build my own warship.
'A ship that no navy
in its right mind'
would come near.
But...first things first.
After you, sir.
Behold, gentlemen,
Brisco County Jr.
Feared by criminals
and revered by the citizenry
not unlike his father.
In short,
a legend in the makin'.
'Which brings me
to today's lesson.'
Legends are rarely what
they're cracked up to be.
- 'Aye.'
- 'Ha-ha.'
These two
Brisco and Bowler
are touted as the West's
greatest bounty hunters.
But as you will see today
they bleed.
- They cry.
- 'That they do.'
They are weak.
- Big Ed!
- Captain.
Show the men.
[dramatic music]
Let him go, LaCutte.
I'm the one you want, not him.
Oh, it's true. It's true.
'And I would like
to make my point'
'with you instead, Mr. County.'
But, unfortunately,
you have value
value which I hope to...exploit.
So, we'll leave you unharmed.
Bowler, on the other hand
'has no such luck.'
'He's utterly
worthless to anyone.'
Break his spirit, Big Ed.
- 'Yes.'
- 'Come on, Big Ed.'
[whip cracks]
[whip cracks]
[whip cracks]
[grunting]
[clamoring]
[intense music]
[grunts]
[clattering]
- Let's go, Bowler.
- I'm with you.
Ah, off of me!
Lower the portcullis.
[grunting]
[grunts]
Aah!
[both grunting]
Forget about me! Go!
Come on, damn it! Lift!
Oh, it's no use!
Save yourself.
I'm not leaving
without you, Bowler.
You ain't got no choice.
Go!
[indistinct chatter]
[Bowler]
Alright. Alright.
Blackbeard LaCutte
will kill Brisco
if we don't meet his demands.
Mr. Poole, if you think
I'm empowered to give away money
every time a bounty hunter
gets in a bind
you're mistaken.
Mr. Cartwright,
you're not being realistic.
What's realistic to me
is the bottom line.
One million dollars
off the books
doesn't work for me.
You wanna talk bottom line?
Brisco is the best investment
they've ever made.
His bounty hunting has saved
them ten times that amount.
Remind me to send him
a box of candy
for all his hard work.
You cannot just let him die.
He knew the risks
when he signed on, Poole.
And I think your time
would be better spent
soliciting his replacement.
[dramatic music]
Hey, can I get you anything?
You alright, Socrates?
Ellie, I don't believe it.
They don't even care about him.
Well, that's because
they don't have to.
See, you need to know
what's inside somebody
what makes them tick
to care about them.
These guys don't care.
It's unbelievable.
You gotta do somethin'.
Ellie, you're right.
I'm going out there.
Socrates..
...you be careful.
[instrumental music]
- How you feeling, kid?
- Not so bad.
Maybe not so good either, huh?
I'll be okay now, won't I?
Oh, sure, you will, Charlie.
This medicine that Mr. County
brought will fix you right up.
Is it true you took it right out
from under the pirates' noses?
Uh, yeah, something like that.
Wow! Wasn't that dangerous?
Oh, maybe just a little bit,
but I had some help.
My dad?
No, Charlie.
He wanted to.
'He wanted to come,
but I wouldn't let him.'
[Charlie]
'It doesn't matter.'
- Where are you going?
- I need to help a friend.
You try to get some sleep now,
Charlie.
I think Charlie wishes
his father were more like you.
Well, that would be a bad idea.
I had a father like me.
Well, he's only a boy,
Mr. County.
'And when he looks at you,
he sees all the things'
he's only dreamed about
come to life..
...brave and rugged cowboy
'who can ride
and rope and shoot'
'and isn't afraid of anything.'
'He sees a hero.'
I know that Charlie feels
that way right now, Mrs. Sims
but I hope, as he grows up
he realizes that
the real heroes in life
'are the men like his father.'
It takes real courage
to move your family
in search of a better life.
'I look up to your husband.'
'Charlie should, too.'
He does.
Sometimes he just forgets.
Let me know how he feels
when he wakes up.
I will, and thank you.
What is wrong with you people?
'Are you just gonna sit there'
'and let Blackbeard LaCutte
walk all over you?'
The man he's holding out there
put his life on the line
for my son.
Now, we owe it to him
to go out there
and try and bring him back!
'I, for one,
did not come 1,200 miles'
to let that marauder
ruin my life!
Now, if we band together
we can stand up to him.
There is strength in numbers.
'So, who's with me?'
Come on, who's gonna stand up
to Blackbeard LaCutte?
I am.
Huh?
[instrumental music]
Nobody?
I can't believe that.
What kind of men are you?
I don't need your help!
That's a fine speech, Clayton.
And if these people
don't appreciate it
then forget about them.
You and I will do it.
[indistinct chatter]
We'll go after
LaCutte ourselves.
Come on.
[eagle screeching]
Egh! What fresh hell is this?
[Big Ed]
'Up ahead, captain!'
[intense music]
[Big Ed]
Whoa!
[horse neighs]
Mr. LaCutte
I'm Socrates Poole
'attorney-at-law
and general counsel'
for the Westerfield Club.
I've come to negotiate
for the release
of Brisco County Jr.
Where's the money?
Where's Brisco County Jr.?
- Safe.
- So is the money.
Let me see him,
and I'll draw you a map.
You buried it?
Shall we negotiate?
[laughing]
[dramatic music]
It's dank, not what I'm used to.
The outside is no better.
'The heat, the dust,
the stench of horses..'
'Gentlemen'
meet the man who's going
to help change that
put us back on the high seas.
- Where's County?
- 'Who wants to know?'
Bowler.
Uh, welcome to the party, Poole.
Where's County?
Gone.
- You killed him?
- No.
I'm afraid Brisco
has left the cavern.
Then we have nothing
to negotiate.
Aye, we do. Here are my terms.
You tell me where the money is,
I'll dig it up.
Don't be ridiculous.
[whimpering]
Alright!
Here's my final offer.
Tell me where the money is,
and you can dig it up.
- Poole, tell him.
- I can't.
- Do it!
- Tell him!
- Tell me or die!
- I can't.
- Then you die.
- I can't.
There isn't any money.
I didn't bring it.
They wouldn't approve it.
- You're bluffing.
- I am, the whole thing.
Everything's a bluff.
Everything.
There isn't any money!
[indistinct chatter]
Then what are you doing here?
[sighs]
What I can to help a friend.
Loyalty..
...a concept that's cost you
your life.
[dramatic music]
[dramatic music]
[indistinct yelling]
Is the coach loaded?
Filled to the gills
with as much loot as possible.
Excellent.
Ready the horses.
I'll give the men
their final orders.
Aye.
Don't just hang there,
do something.
What you got in mind?
[crow cawing]
Give me that bottle!
[horse neighing]
- Aah!
- Aah!
[intense music]
Okay, wait here.
If anybody comes out of there
do your best to stop them.
Gentlemen, the time has come.
In all our years together
you've never known me
to be honorable.
I've the morals of a shark
the ethics of a swine
and the blackest heart
this side of hell.
So this should come
as no surprise.
[indistinct yelling]
No hard feelings, lads.
You've been
a good and true bevy.
And I wish you well..
...well, as well as hell can be.
In the next world, lads.
[indistinct yelling]
My sincerest apologies,
gentlemen
but time is of the essence.
'The seas all around me
are getting much too rough.'
And my sailor's bones tell me
that Homestead Acres
is all fished out.
Point well taken.
[grunting]
Have at ya!
Gesundheit!
[swords clanking]
[grunting]
I'm going to enjoy this.
[clanking]
[intense music]
A simple matter of time.
You're good
but not good enough.
Now, your father..
...he was the best
but even that couldn't
keep him alive.
All those bullets
piercing his heart
like this blade
will pierce yours.
[grunting]
[music continues]
I've got news for you.
Aah!
The day you killed my father
was the day
you sealed your own fate.
[grunting]
Mr. County, I think
your ship just sailed.
- Oh!
- Oh!
[both whimpering]
[gun clicks]
[gunshot]
[both sighing]
Nothing like a little wine
to calm your nerves.
[horse neighing]
Hey!
Where you going,
you four-legged dragons?
[Clayton]
'I guess they got away.'
[grunts]
[grunts]
[dramatic music]
[horse neighing]
Hyah! Hyah!
[whistles]
[Brisco]
'Come on, boy.'
What about me?
Take care of him.
Hyah!
[music continues]
[grunting]
[Brisco]
Blackbeard, stop!
[grunts]
[screaming]
Damn you, County!
Give me your hand.
Okay, pull.
You're coming in with me.
Give it up. It's over.
For the both of us.
[grunting]
Don't lose my bounty, Brisco.
[grunting]
Come on.
[panting]
[eagle screeching]
[indistinct chatter]
- 'Thank you very much.'
- 'Okay. Here you go.'
It looks like Christmas
around here.
- Yeah, I hate Christmas.
- How come?
'Cause, I never get nothing,
like now.
People getting their things back
the state getting
LaCutte's gang behind bars.
What about me?
He said you could have
the bounty on LaCutte.
Well, that's real nice.
You can't claim a reward
without a body!
We all saw LaCutte go down.
I can vouch for that.
- Yeah?
- Sure.
That's what friends
are for, Bowler.
Don't just stand there.
Shake his hand.
This some kind of trick?
No.
[instrumental music]
Don't go expecting no sappy
thank-you note or nothin'.
Never even crossed my mind.
Mr. County! Mr. County!
We found everything,
even grandpa's watch.
Well, will you look at that?
How can we ever thank you,
Mr. County?
Oh, I had a lot of help.
Charlie, you know, your dad here
he did some pretty fancy things
out there.
Really?
[Socrates]
'Maybe we should recruit him'
'to help you round up
the rest of Bly's gang.'
Thanks for everything,
Mr. County.
Charlie..
...you're welcome.
[indistinct chatter]
Clayton..
...you make all those dreams
come true now.
You bet we will.
Come on, partner.
Dad!
[Clayton grunts]
[Clayton laughs]
Well, gentlemen
'shall we ride?'
You know, Bowler
there's one question
I never asked.
[Bowler]
'Hmm?'
How did you find out
that I was out here
on this hush-hush mission?
Ahem.
Hyah!
That's what I thought.
Hyah!
[instrumental music]
[theme music]