That Girl (1966–1971): Season 2, Episode 16 - A Friend in Need - full transcript

What's the matter?
What happened now?

We've had an accident, sir.

One of the guerillas
slipped and fell on the set.

All right.

Get a hold of casting and
get me another bit player.

And call publicity. Maybe we can
get some plugs on the columns.

And get a hold of legal. Tell them to
get over here with some release forms.

Yes, sir. Anything else?

No... Yeah!

Call a doctor.

Yes, sir.



Hey, wait a second.

Which guerilla was it?

It was that guerilla.

♪♪

♪♪

Excuse me, madam.

Ann!

I can't understand you, dear.

Now, what did you say?

I said, "Hold my
purse." Thank you.

You're welcome.

Ann, what happened to you?

I sprained my ankle working.

I was playing a
guerilla fighter.



You were fighting a gorilla?

No, I was playing a partisan.

And I slipped on a piece of liverwurst
right in the middle of jungle warfare.

What good is liverwurst
in jungle warfare?

It was left over from
the prop man's lunch.

Anyhow, I slipped and I fell

and I sprained my ankle.

And anyway, I'm not very
good on these crutches,

so could we not
stand here and talk

because I'm about to collapse.

Open my door. Okay.

Come on. Watch
out for the threshold.

Thank you, Jerry.

Yeah.

Look, careful here.

I forgot which goes
first going down.

Try crutches first.

Crutches first.

Yeah.

Now feet. Oh, great!

Thank you. Sure.

You're doing fine.

Yeah, I had a lot of practice.

Wonderful! It feels
good to sit down.

You... oh, wait
'til I tell Ruth!

You sound like she's
going to be thrilled.

No, she'll be deeply upset.

And there's nothing like being
deeply upset to make her happy.

Just a second.

It's me. Ruth.

I've only got two hands.

And one leg.

And two crutches.

Oh, you poor darling!

Does it hurt much? Is there
anything I can do for you?

Did they take X-rays?
Because you never know...

Ruthie, would you
take it easy? I'm fine.

You're not fine,
you had an accident.

Big deal. People have
accidents every day.

Not people I love
like my own sister.

What can I do to help you?

A glass of water? Chicken soup?

Sponge bath?

You name it, you got it.

You can come in and calm down.

I'm perfectly all right.

I just have a teensy-weensy
sprained ankle.

You're in agony, aren't you?

Not in the ankle,
just under the arms.

I'll get you a blanket.

I'm okay, Ruthie. I'm not cold.

You're warm?

Do you have a fever?

Ruthie, I appreciate
your concern,

I really do, but...

Didn't I ever tell you I once
went to nursing school?

No, you didn't tell
me you were a nurse.

I flunked out in three days.

They said that I
was too emotional.

How did they find
that out in three days?

Couldn't stand the
sight of a doctor.

I'll get it. I'm not letting
you move a muscle.

Miss Marie's residence.
Who's calling, please?

Oh, hello, Mr. Marie.

This is Ruth Bauman.

Fine, thank you.

And you?

Good.

Mr. Marie, I don't want
you to get alarmed,

but there's some bad news.

You daughter has
had an accident.

Will you stop being so dramatic?

Tell him it's only
a sprained ankle.

No, not an automobile accident.

It happened while
she was working.

Ruthie, will you please tell him
that it's only a sprained ankle?

No, she's not at any hospital.

She's right here.

Will you give me the phone?

Hold on, Mr. Marie.

What did you say?

I said give me the phone.

Just a second. She's
going to try to speak to you.

Hello, Daddy?

Daddy, it's only
a sprained ankle,

and if I stay off my
feet over the weekend,

I'll be fine by Monday.

So don't worry.

Yeah, I know that's
the way she sounded.

Well, I slipped on
a piece of liverwurst

during the call of duty.

Yes.

Oh, sure, a doctor examined me.

Uh-huh.

Dr. Charles Justin.
The network got him.

Daddy, he is not
a company stooge.

He's a freelance orthopedist.

Yes, he took an X-ray.

In his office.

In a taxi.

Because they didn't think
an ambulance was necessary.

I know they'd have to
pay for it, daddy, but...

No, no, there's no break.

No, and no splintered bones.

No.

A sprain.

Well, I guess you
could call it a bad sprain.

Did you ever hear
of a good sprain?

Yes, I know. Thank you.

I got that from you.

In time of crisis, your sense
of humor is your biggest asset.

Ouch. Nothing.

No, nothing happened.

I just sat in an
uncomfortable position.

Yes, Daddy. I'll be careful.

Mm-hmm. Thank you, Daddy.

And I have confidence
in you and mother, too.

Thank you.

I will.

I won't.

I will.

I won't.

I won't.

I will.

Bye, Daddy.

And I love both of you.

Bye.

Thanks.

Ann, Ann?

Ann, I just talked to
my cousin Leopold.

Who's your cousin Leopold?

He's a second-year law
student at Columbia University

who thinks your
case is sensational.

That's nice. What's my case?

You're going to sue the network.

Me?

I certainly hope so.

For what?

For one million dollars.

Wow. If she wants
to be a good sport,

she can settle out
of court for $500,000.

What am I charging them with?

Personal injury.

You mean my sprained ankle?

Oh, no no no, from now on,

that's not what we call it.

What do we call it?

Footlash.

Footlash?

It's similar to whiplash,
only further down.

I never heard of it.

That's because it doesn't exist.

That's why young
Leopold got so excited!

He said you could
establish a legal precedent.

Jerry, I am not
suing the network.

It's been very kind to me.

It called a doctor. It
sent me home in a taxi.

And it said that if I
was better by Monday,

it wouldn't replace me
with another guerilla.

Ann, that's... it's
admirable, but naive.

The network is insured.

Your $500,000
won't cost it a nickel.

Jerry, let me put
it another way:

no.

All right, look,
I'll compromise.

Sue for $500,000
and settle for 250.

All right, I'll talk it
over with my lawyer.

When do you get a lawyer?

When does Leopold graduate?

Coming, Donald!

Coming.

Here I come.

Mother!

Darling.

How's your ankle?

It's fine.

What are you doing here?

I came to help you.

Help me what?

Well, whatever you
need, whatever you want.

May I come in?

You meant to say that
you drove all the way

down from Brewster just
because I sprained my ankle?

Of course.

That's what mothers are for.

Your husband said on the phone

and I quote, "Your mother
and I have confidence in you."

We do.

That's why only one of us came.

Mother, I take this
as absolute proof

that you and Daddy
still think of me as a child!

You're absolutely wrong!

We think of you
as an intelligent,

mature young woman who,
no matter how old she gets,

will still be our baby.

Looks like you packed
enough for six months.

Did not. I packed enough
for, at the most, two weeks.

Mother, what are you doing?

Just tidying up.

Mother, I really
appreciate your help, but...

Darling, don't thank me.
That's what mothers are for.

Are we expecting company?

Yes, we have a date...
with our boyfriend.

Oh!

Hello, Don.

Well, hello, Mrs.
Marie. What a nice...

Surprise.

Hi.

Hi.

Do you notice anything
different about me?

Ah, well, let's see.
New hairstyle?

No.

New outfit?

Yes, as a matter of fact.

Oh, thank goodness.

For a minute there, I thought
you were standing on crutches.

She is standing on crutches!

Of course.

What happened,
honey, sprained ankle?

Yeah, how'd you know?

Well, if it was broken
there'd be a cast on it.

But there's a bandage
so the odds favor a sprain.

Oh, Donald. You didn't panic.

Who panics over a minor injury?

Now look, you stay off
your feet over the weekend

and by Monday it will be better.

Right. That's exactly right.

Right, here, here.

Mrs. Marie, would
you take these? Oh.

Therefore, stay off your feet.

Okay? And you prop the foot up.

Here. Be careful.

My hero.

Hey, are you going someplace?

No, those are mother's.

She's moving in with
me for a couple of weeks.

You're kidding?

Just because she
sprained an ankle?

Well, actually it
was her father's idea,

and I just hoped...

I see. Well, I'll
bet, Mrs. Marie,

you are more needed
by your husband

than you are by your daughter.

Especially since I can devote
the entire weekend to her.

You can?

With pleasure.

What about the
cooking and cleaning?

Well, I am brilliant
at both of them.

Since when?

You wait and see.

Let's see, now... tonight, since we
were going to go to a French restaurant...

Yeah, we better
send out for pizza.

I'm going to make
veal cordon bleu.

You're kidding!

Can you really make that?

Can birds fly? Mrs. M,
you'll join us, I assume?

No, I think I'll be
getting on home.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Here, let me put
your bags in the car,

and then I'll do my marketing
and I'll be back in 15 minutes.

Oh, Donald, that's
too much trouble.

Well, that's what
boyfriends are for.

You know, this has been
a very enlightening injury.

First, I found out
what mothers are for,

and now I know what
boyfriends are for.

Donald, good morning.

Good morning.

What are you doing?

Talking to a lovely young lady.

You're talking to a mess.

How did you get in here?

When I left last
night, I took your key

because I wanted you to wake up

to a spanking clean apartment.

Look what I did.

I cleaned the living
room windows, huh?

And the kitchen windows.

And I scrubbed
the kitchen floor.

And I am now in the process
of defrosting your refrigerator.

You're defrosting
my refrigerator?

Well, you say that
like it's immoral,

like I shouldn't do it
unless we're engaged.

Oh, no, I didn't mean that.

It's just that...

Well, I never realized you were
such a thorough housekeeper... man.

Well, I am only rising to the
occasion of a damsel in distress.

Now, what do you
want for breakfast?

Orange juice and coffee.

That's all?

Well, to tell you the truth,

I'm still full of
veal cordon bleu.

Honey, sprained ankles
need nourishment.

I am now going to whip
you up some eggs benedict.

I'll call you when
they're ready.

I'll get it.

Just a minute.

Morning.

I didn't ring the bell in
case you were asleep.

I'm awake and on my foot.

What can I do for you, neighbor?

My wife invites
you to breakfast.

Oh, well, tell her
thank you very much,

but my breakfast is being
catered by Donalds of Paris.

Oh, hi, Jerry.

Hey, Don.

Honey, where's the white pepper?

Oh, I don't have any.

Oh? Okay, I'll improvise.

Donald of Paris.

Isn't that cute?

Ann, listen, as
long as I'm here,

let's talk more about
you and the network.

Jerry, you can just forget it.

I am not suing for footlash.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
I've got a whole new angle.

Tell them you're not suing,
and maybe, out of gratitude,

they'll build a
special around you.

Hey, that's a terrific idea.

I'll talk it over with
my personal manager.

Who's your personal manager?

Nobody. I'm waiting for Leopold.

A girl could go clean-blind.

Hi.

Hi.

Well?

Well, what?

Notice anything?

Oh, Donald, yes, you've
certainly done a nice job.

I really appreciate it.

Well, don't mention it, honey.

I also changed your
dirty shelf paper.

Oh, you didn't have to do that.

Well, I figured, as long
as I was cleaning things,

I'd change your
dirty shelf paper.

Donald, I wish you
wouldn't keep referring to it

as "my dirty shelf paper."

Well, honey, it
was pretty dirty.

Well, it was also washable.

Oh, well, I... I don't know.

It looked pretty hopeless to me.

As a matter of fact,
you know, I had planned

on buying new
shelf paper myself.

Well, if you had,
I wouldn't have.

But you didn't, so I did.

I had it all picked out.

It had daisies on
it, and everything.

Well, nobody ever
really gets to see it.

I get to see it, and
I'm not exactly nobody.

Well, I'm sorry, honey.

I didn't mean to say
that you were nobody.

I just meant...

Never mind.

It's just that to me,
white shelf paper

kind of shows a
lack of imagination.

Well, I'm sorry if I've
offended your aesthetic tastes.

I didn't mean that.

Yeah, see, maybe if I had
more time to shop around,

but, you see, I
was a little too busy

defrosting your refrigerator

and cleaning the oven

and polishing
the stainless steel

and cooking meals.

Now you're twisting
everything around

to make it sound like I don't
appreciate everything you've done.

Look, I am only saying that
I am not particularly crazy

about cleaning and papering
young ladies' apartments.

If I wanted to clean and
paper young ladies' apartments

there are a lot of
young ladies' apartments

in New York I could mention
that I could clean and paper.

Any young lady who would
settle for white shelf paper

would settle for anything.

Now, wait a minute.

Look, no one has
to settle for me.

I will not be settled for.

And the same goes for me, too.

Vice versa.

Uh-huh. Well, if
you'll forgive me,

there are other things I
have to do... like a job.

Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

Just a minute.

What?

My refrigerator
is self-defrosting.

Is your hamburger too well-done?

Oh, no. It's fine.

She's used to veal cordon
bleu and eggs benedict.

I shouldn't have lost my temper.

It was ungrateful of me.

I agree.

I don't know why I did it.

Except somehow, it seemed like

he was challenging
my femininity.

That's perfectly understandable.

Not to me.

Jerry!

How did he get so
good at everything?

It's simple: it's self-defense.

What do you mean?

Well, look, Don is a bachelor.

He has nobody
to take care of him,

so he learns to
take care of himself

Were you like that when
you were a bachelor?

Sure, if I'd been
willing to live in,

I could have had a
brilliant career as a maid.

You made up for it.

From the day we were married,

you haven't lifted a finger.

I didn't want to
challenge your femininity.

I give you permission.

You could start
right after dinner

by taking out the garbage.

I owe Donald an apology.
That's all there is to it.

I owe him an apology.

It's busy.

He's probably calling you.

Yeah! Yeah, that's right.

I think I better go home.

Thanks for a lovely dinner.

Which you didn't eat.

Well, it looked lovely.

Thank you, operator.

It's been busy for over an hour.

It's off the hook?

He took it off the hook

because he doesn't
want to talk to me.

Oh, no, operator.

I know I can't blame
the telephone company.

Excuse me.

Donald?

Donald Hollinger?

Who's there?

I am.

Ann, where are you?

Down here.

Honey.

Honey, are you all right?

I think so.

Why didn't you tell me
your elevator isn't working?

Well, why didn't you
tell you were coming?

I tried to.

I dialed your number until
my finger was blue in the face.

Your phone's off the hook.

You broke your crutch.

I slipped on the stairs.

Well, you got a case
against the building.

How about that?

With my luck, Leopold
will be a dropout.

All right.

Does it hurt, honey?

No, I didn't hurt
myself. I'm fine.

I just keep falling down.

I don't know what's
the matter with me.

You know, honey, I had the phone

right in here when I...

Donald, what happened?

What do you mean, what happened?

This is like a disaster area.

Oh, well, I was, uh...

I was going to clean it
up before I went to bed.

Here, honey, let
me take your coat.

And then I'll clean a place
here for you to sit down.

Okay? The kitchen
looks even worse.

Well, I was going to clean
that before I went to bed, too.

When are you going
to bed, in February?

Donald, that's a frozen dinner!

Yeah, I just ate it.

What happened to
your gourmet cooking?

Well, I don't do that here.

What about your
gourmet cleaning?

I don't do that here, either.

Why not?

Well, honey because
I'm a bachelor.

And it is a well-known fact
that bachelors are sloppy.

I don't get that.

Why were you so
picky at my apartment?

Well, honey,
you're a girl, and...

Honey, with girls,
neatness counts.

Besides, I was trying
to win your affections

by a weekend at hard labor.

But you didn't exactly
win them, did you?

No, not exactly.

Oh, Donald, I'm sorry.

You were so terrific to
me and I was just rotten.

Honey...

Honey, that... That's
a wonderful apology

for a girl with
dirty shelf paper.

How's about a gourmet kiss?

Uhh.

That's what boyfriends are for.

All right.

Look, you give me your
sacred word of honor

you're okay and you can work?

Oh, yes, sir.

I stayed off my feet most of
Saturday and all of Sunday

and my ankle's
really much better.

Okay, all right.

Get out in that swamp and
let me see some real acting.

Yes, sir.

Now wait a second.

Come here.

You're attacking a fort,
not a wedding reception.

Waste not, want not.

Miss Marie, phone call.

Oh, thank you.

Hello?

Daddy, you shouldn't
be calling me here.

They're waiting for
me in the swamp.

Yes, I'm fine.

No, it's fine.

I'm not being brave. It's fine.

Yes, I'll be careful.

And watch out for
loose liverwurst.

Yes, Daddy.

Daddy, I have to go.

I will.

I won't I will.

I won't.

I won't.

I will.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA