That Girl (1966–1971): Season 2, Episode 17 - Fur All We Know - full transcript

On his invitation, Ann accompanies Donald on his latest story to a society party where the international jet set will be in attendance. So that Ann can look the part, Mr. Mellinger, the furrier for who Ann has been modeling, lends her a $3,000 chinchilla stole to wear to the party. The fur does make Ann look the part as she attracts the attention of among others at the party Halsted Jay Harrington Cavanaugh III - Buzzy to his friends - who pursues Ann all evening. Despite Donald being in the picture, Buzzy will not take a "no" answer from Ann, who eventually relents to a lunch date with Buzzy. The end of their lunch date and a subsequent lunch date show Ann what Buzzy's true motivations in pursuing her are.

Ooh, ooh, sir, excuse me.

You're in the models'
dressing room.

Yes, I... I know.

But wait, sir, you
don't understand.

Our fall collection is
out in the show room.

Oh, yes, I've seen it.
Very nice, thank you.

Just a minute, if you're
one of my shipping clerks,

why aren't you...
No, you couldn't be.

Uh, what can I do for you?

Well, I'm supposed
to meet someone here.

Ah, one of our customers?



No, no, one of your
models... Ann Marie.

Ann Marie?

This is a seasonal business.

Models, you know,
they come, and they go.

I'm not sure which one she is.

Well, I'm not so sure myself,

but I think she's that girl.

♪♪

Oh, Donald, aren't
these gorgeous?

I feel like a little
girl in a candy store.

Hi, there, little girl
in the candy store.

What will you have?

Um, make mine chinchilla.

Very good. Do you have a penny?



Yes, I certainly
do. I have many.

Well, I hope you
have 300,000 of them,

'cause that's what this
little bit of fluff goes for,

and it's not even chinchilla.

$3,000?

Well, honey, you don't
want chinchilla anyway.

Get something
practical. Like terrycloth.

You know, Donald, that outfit's not
so far beyond my reach as you think,

not at the rate I've been going.

Oh, yeah?

What happened to your
rate while I wasn't looking?

I did two commercials
last month.

And this job's good
for at least three weeks.

And just take a look at this.

Very nice. Gingham checks.

No, I mean the balance.

$219.73.

Well, it doesn't matter anyway.

You're gonna be the
best-looking girl there,

no matter what you wear.

No matter what I wear where?

Well, there's a special
occasion coming up.

What is it?

I'll tell you after lunch.

You tell me right now!

I'll be too excited
to eat lunch.

All right, the magazine
assigned me to a party.

I can bring a guest.
What kind of party?

The International Jet Set.

I'm doing a satirical piece.

Oh, Donald! Who's
gonna be there?

I told you, I'm gonna be there.

I mean that I can
get excited about.

Now, just a minute.

You know what I mean. Who? Who?

There's going to be... going
to be a lot of rich people,

all shapes and sizes...

Tall rich people,
short rich people,

thin rich people.

Donald.

And a fat king.

Could you get
excited over a fat king?

What country? I don't
know, somewhere.

Where's the party gonna be?

At the Presidential Suite
at the Brinsley Plaza.

Now that's exciting.

Oh, I don't have
anything to wear.

Oh, now, honey,
don't worry about that.

Now, don't say I look marvelous

no matter what I'd wear.

I won't. I was just gonna say
if you have nothing to wear,

I'll take Jerry Bauman
rather than be embarrassed.

That's a very bad joke.

That's the best I can
do on an empty stomach.

Oh, all right, let's go.

But you should've
told me after lunch.

Now I'm gonna be
too excited to eat.

Miss Marie! Miss Marie!

That buyer from Kansas City
bought that cape and the stole,

and everything else you modeled.

Oh, I'm so glad Mr. Mellinger.

I'm tickled to death.

Personally, I think he would
buy anything you put on.

It's a shame you're
not 12 feet tall.

I could sell him the drapes.

That's very nice of you
to say, Mr. Mellinger.

Don't mention it.

Since everything
has gone so well,

do you think I could
leave a little early today?

You see, I've been
invited to a party tonight

in the Presidential Suite
at the Brinsley Plaza Hotel,

and I just gotta go out
and get something to wear.

Ooh, an occasion like this
calls for something elegant...

and understated.

You're not kidding. I
can't even afford a whisper.

You may borrow this chinchilla.

Oh, Mr. Mellinger.

You're not serious?

You don't think lending
somebody a $3,000 stole is funny.

What if anything
ever happened to it?

I mean, I'd be terrified.

Don't worry your pretty
little head. I'm insured.

Oh, Mr. Mellinger,

this is so generous of you.

I don't know what to say.

If a piece of royalty happens
to ask you where you got it,

you make a curtsy,
and say the address.

Okay?

Well, of course. That's
the least I can do.

As a matter of fact, if I
ever have to take it off,

I'll carry it so that
the label shows.

Better yet, I'll
wear it inside out.

This is the first time
I've ever taken out a girl

whose clothes are
worth more than my car.

Tonight I'm just one of
the very elegant people

lost among the
other elegant people.

Darling, how are you?

Love your stole.

Why, thank you.

Mind telling me
where you got it?

Oh, not at all.

It's from the House
of Mellingers.

East 29th Street,
second floor loft.

Oh, thank you.

What was that all about?

Well, I promised Mr. Mellinger

if anybody asks me where
I got my stole, I'd tell them.

He gave me those business cards.

Why didn't you wear
a sandwich board

with flashing lights that
says "Mellingers, Mellingers"?

Oh, Donald, I promised.

Honey, you're a
guest. Act like a guest.

All right. I'm sorry.

I have to go get the guest
list. I'll be back in a minute.

Okay, I'll wait
for you right here.

All right, now have fun. Mingle.

Donald, I don't
know anybody here.

What difference does that make?

Well, I don't know how
to mingle with strangers.

There's nothing to
know. Just mingle.

All right, I'll mingle.

Mingle-mingle.

Mingle-mingle-mingle-mingle.

Mingle-mingle.

Mingle-mingle-mingle-mingle.

Here a mingle, there a mingle.

Everywhere a mingle-mingle.

May I interest you
in a single mingle?

Oh. I didn't think anybody
was paying any attention.

Now, how could anybody
not pay any attention?

I mean, you're pretty
hard to miss in that thing.

This thing happens
to be chinchilla.

Chinchilla is out. Thank you.

Sable is in.

Thank you.

In fact, fur in general
is on its way out.

Well, I know a lot of poodles

that are gonna be awfully
sorry to hear about that.

Have you been doing
the regular route?

I beg your pardon?

Oh, you know, the Hamptons
and Palm Beach and Acapulco...

Oh, no, actually,

I've been off on a route
of my own, as it were.

Oh, yes. Of
course. It's obvious.

It is? Mm-hmm.

It's sticking out all over you.

Hmmm.

Switzerland.

That attractive little
ski-swing in your walk?

And then Spain for a bit?

Then Rome? Huh? Yeah?

Then Paris?

Daddy's yacht? Mummy's Ferrari?

How am I doing?

You're positively amazing.

Ah, routine.

Yes.

One question, though.

How come we never met before?

Well, I've never
single mingled before.

My name is Cavanaugh.

Halsted J. Harrington
Cavanaugh III.

I see.

Call me Buzzy for short.

Buzzy?

Uh-huh. What'll I
call you for short?

Ann Marie... uh,
for short or for long.

Definitely for long.

I expect our association
to be a very long one.

Well, I don't really
know about that, Buzzy.

Oh, I don't wish to
argue. I wish to dance.

Will you join me?

Well, I guess I'd better.

You'd look pretty
silly dancing alone.

You know, that's very true.

Yes.

Donald! Sorry I'm late, honey.

Gee, we didn't miss you a bit.

Donald, this is Mr. Halsted
J. Harrington Cavanaugh III.

This is Donald Hollinger.

How do you do? Nice to meet you.

Buzzy and I were
mingling, Donald.

Buzzy?

Oh, that's what everybody
calls Mr. Cavanaugh.

Oh, I see.

Of course.

How would you like
a punch in the nose?

No offense intended,
Mr. Cavanaugh.

Call me Buzzy. You
sure you wouldn't mind?

Not at all.

Okay, no offense
intended, Buzzy.

Apology accepted.

Fine. Honey, we
have to be going.

Oh, yes. Well, it certainly
was a pleasure meeting you.

Even more pleasurable for me.

Thank you. Good night, Buzzy.

Hollinger. Good night.

Good night, Ann. Lunch tomorrow?

Lunch tomorrow?

Shall we say 1:30?

Oh, well, no, I'm afraid not.

How's 2:30?

Well, no, you
see, Donald and I...

Aren't married.

No, no, we're not married.

Engaged?

No, no. Not what you might
call officially engaged, no.

Well, then... Look, Buzzy,

I don't feel it's
particularly necessary

for us to qualify our
relationship for you.

You're absolutely right.

I was simply trying to determine

if it was proper for
me to ask Ann to lunch.

See, Donald, that's
all he was trying to do.

Yes, I see. Of course I see.

Well, then?

Well, then, I afraid not.

You see, I have several
previous engagements tomorrow.

How about the day after?

The day after?

Well, actually, I don't
have my book with me,

and I'm just a scatterbrain
about times and places.

Aren't I, Donald? Just
a scatterbrain about...

Yes, you are, just a
regular little scatterbrain.

Why don't I ring you, then?

Ring me?

Ring you.

Why don't I?

Donald?

Uh, that's entirely up to Ann.

Well then, fine.

Why don't you ring me?

Gee, I'd love to.
Good night, Ann.

Hollinger. Buzzy.

All I'm saying is, you
weren't a great deal of help.

"It's entirely up to Ann."

"It's entirely up to Ann"

means it's entirely
up to you to say no.

Well, how can I say no?

You can say "No, thank
you" or "Thank you, no"

or "No, no, a
thousand times, no."

Oh, Donald, I felt silly
making such a big issue

out of just a phone
call, for heaven's sake.

Besides, I didn't want
to embarrass you.

How would you figure
it would embarrass me?

Well, apparently
I mingled so well,

he thought I was a
member of the group.

And one member of
the group can't be rude

to another member of the group.

What group?

The group. The crowd.
The gang. You know.

Switzerland, Spain for
a bit, Rome, you know.

You, one of the Jet Set?

That's what he
thought. You're kidding.

I am not kidding.

It's just that you never noticed

that attractive little ski
swing in my hips, did you?

Frankly, it never
brought skiing to mind.

Well, he said it stuck out
all over me like a sore thumb.

And that, plus the
chinchilla, well...

And you never tried to correct
any false impressions, I suppose.

I followed your
instructions to the letter.

I didn't tell him where
the stole came from,

I acted like a perfect guest,

and Buzzy drew
his own conclusions.

I see.

No, you don't see.

All I did was have a little fun.

No, I take that back.
I had a lot of fun.

And I thank you for taking me.

Well, honey, look,

it's certainly your prerogative

to go wherever and with
whomever you please.

It's just that I'm very
selective about my competition.

You have no competition.

Men like Halsted J. Harrington
Cavanaugh III never give up.

How do you know?

He's the third, isn't he?

Well, rest assured
that in no time at all,

he'll be totally disillusioned.

When?

When he finds out

that I'm not listed
in the social register

and that attractive
little ski swing

is merely my way of compensating

for an old football injury.

Well, here we are.

Well, gee, what a
quaint little neighborhood.

Yes, it has atmosphere.

Listen, you deserve credit
for being able to rough it.

You didn't say whether to wait.

No, no, don't wait. $2.90.

Listen, why don't
you get changed,

and we'll go slumming
around the neighborhood, huh?

Now, Buzzy, when you said

it was urgent for me
to have lunch with you,

I agreed, providing you
brought me right home

and we said goodbye.

Remember?

Yes, I vaguely remember
something to that effect.

And it really
wasn't urgent at all.

Well, now wait. That
depends on your point of view.

$2.90?

Thank you very much,
Buzzy. And goodbye.

How 'bout lunch again
later on in the week?

How about $2.90?

Well, have you
got change for 100?

A $100 bill? You
gotta be kidding.

Gee, I'm afraid I don't
have anything smaller.

Ann, can you change 100?

A hund...?

No, I'm afraid not.

I think the most I have is 20.

That I can break. Fine.

That's $2.90 3...
4, 5... 10 and 20.

Here you go.

Thanks. Welcome.

There now. I'm indebted to you.

Isn't that perfect?

Oh, don't be silly.

I mean... what's $2.90 plus tip?

I mean... Ah-ah.
It's a great deal.

And I intend to take full
advantage of the obligation.

I'll make it up to you.

Oh, you don't have to do that.

Listen, let's just say that
the $2.90 plus tip is my treat,

and the difference...

The difference is what
entitles me to call you again.

Taxi, wait a minute.

Listen, right now, I'm
gonna keep my promise.

I'm leaving.

But I'll be back.

You can bet on it.

I just did. $17.10... less tip.

Honey, it was delicious.

Oh, Donald, thank
you. I want you to know

I spent the better
part of the afternoon

preparing this feast.

Well, how did you spend the
worst part of the afternoon?

Oh. You mean Buzzy.

I mean Buzzy. How did lunch go?

Well, I mean...
how can lunch go?

Honey, how did it go?

It came, and it went.

I told you he wouldn't give up.

Donald, I made
it absolutely clear

when I accepted his invitation

that lunch was emphatically it,

that I was definitely
not interested.

No more dates. No
more phone calls.

Aren't you gonna answer it?

Answer what?

Your phone is ringing.

Oh.

My answering
service will pick it up.

You know, I'm getting
so used to them

just taking all of my calls

that I hardly even
hear the ring anymore.

Oh, would you pass
the cookies, please?

Oh, yes, of course.

More coffee?

No, thank you.

Listen, honey, I don't wanna
tell you how to run your life,

but your answering service
doesn't seem to be interested.

It may be important.

Yeah.

Hello?

Oh.

Hi, there.

How are you?

Oh, yes. Just fine, thank you.

Oh, no, I'm sorry. I couldn't.

No, thank you.

Thank you, no.

No, no, a thousand times, no.

No, I'm sorry. I couldn't.

Well, I don't even know

how you can suggest
it after your promise.

I don't know how I could have
any faith in a second promise

when you've so totally

and completely
broken the first one.

Absolutely not.

No, I'm busy tonight.

I'm busy in the morning, too.

No, I'm busy in the afternoon.

Ring me?

No, really... No, I just...

Well, yes, but...
All right, fine.

Yes.

Goodbye.

That was Buzzy.

No kidding.

Oh, Donald, it's just that
when he brought me home

this afternoon in a taxi,

he didn't have
change for a $100 bill,

so I ended up paying the taxi.

And now he just wants
to return the money.

Over dinner.

And I told him that was
absolutely out of the question.

And he said this is
positively the last time.

And I said... I
heard what you said.

And he... I know what he said.

So what could I say?

Oh, Donald, tell me what to do.

Bend your pinky, and keep
your elbows off the table.

Ha ha ha ha!

So, anyway, this Dinky Van Epps,

she's looking all
over the ship for us.

She's looking in the pantry.
She looked in the kitchen.

And there we are in the
bilge of the Queen Mary.

Ann, you're not having
a good time, are you?

Oh, Buzzy, I wouldn't
say that, exactly.

I would, exactly.

In fact, if I had any sense,

I'd take you right
home immediately.

In fact, that's precisely
what I think I'm going to do.

Waiter? Oh, wait a minute.

There's no rush. Why
don't you finish your coffee?

Love for another
man has insulated you

against the Cavanaugh
wit and charm,

and I refuse to subject my
ego to any more bruising.

Thank you.

Do you have an account here?

Me? No.

Any mad money?

How mad?

$68.43.

No, I don't think I
could get that angry.

Don't you have any money?

Oh, nothing to speak of.

I'll probably come
into a few blue chips

when my grandfather goes...

But what about in the meantime?

Like tonight? What
about the check?

Oh, well, I never
come here alone.

I can't afford it.

You mean you expect
me to pay that check?

Well, I honestly
didn't think you'd mind.

But... but, Buzzy, I
don't have any money.

Well, don't get upset.

They'll take your
check. I'll vouch for you.

You don't understand.
I don't have any money.

Period.

Look, Ann, if this is
your idea of a joke,

I find the whole thing
in rather poor taste.

A girl can be
temporarily out of funds

or written out of the will

or, you know, for the moment,
have her allowance cut off,

but she never has
no money, period.

There must be some money
in your family somewhere.

No, I'm afraid not.

My father doesn't
have any money.

And I don't have any money.

And no one I know has
any money except you,

and you've got my $17.10.

Are you telling me you
actually need that money?

I'm telling you I
have to pay my rent.

But you told me you were rich.

You told me I was rich!

Besides, I thought
you were rich, too.

Me? I didn't show up at
Randolph Cleech's party

wearing a chinchilla stole.

I just borrowed it.

Oh.

Well, I can't tell you
how embarrassed I am.

I mean, I'm not
the sort of fellow

that would take money
from a working girl.

You took money
from this working girl.

Because I was under
the wrong impression.

Look, before I'd
do a thing like that,

why, I'd borrow
money from a bank.

Gee, I'm terribly sorry.

If there's anything I can
ever do to make it up to you...

No, no, no, Ann,
it wasn't your fault.

I mean, you had no way of
knowing or understanding or...

Understanding what?

The only reason I took
the money from you

is because I really liked you.

Why is it all the wrong
girls have the money?

Hi. Hi.

I'm sorry I'm late.

Have a seat.

Wait a minute.

I thought you were gonna
take me out to lunch.

I was, but I only
have half an hour,

so I'm taking you in to lunch.

Fine. I like these intimate
out-of-the-way places.

Donald... Huh?

I have a favor to ask you.

Okay.

I need to borrow some money.

Okay, I can lend
you a few dollars.

How much do you need? $5? $10?

$88.43.

$88.43?

I need to pay my rent.

Honey, I don't understand.

Just a few days ago, you had
over $200 in your bank account.

Yeah, I did, but I
lent it to a friend.

Must've been some friend.

Well, actually, it
wasn't a friend at all.

It was Buzzy.

Buzzy? Honey, why is that guy
always borrowing money from you?

Because he doesn't
have any of his own.

I thought he was rich.

Apparently, that was Buzzy I,

not Buzzy III.

Congratulations, Ann.

You've just met
your first gigolo.

And the last.

Yeah, I hope you
learned a lesson.

Yeah, people aren't always
what they seem to be,

including me.

Look, never create false impressions
if you're gonna single mingle.

All right.

But don't expect to get
your money back too soon.

Oh, I'm not worried.

Just another excuse
to keep you around.

Hey, what was the
name of that restaurant

you and Buzzy went to?

The Stuffed Duck? Right.

I'm gonna make
reservations for tonight.

But, Donald,
that's so expensive.

And we're already out $88.53.

Listen, any place you can
take Buzzy Cavanaugh,

I can afford to take you.

All right, thank you, thank you.

Honey, it'll be a
few minutes' wait.

Oh, that's okay.

Oh, Donald. That's
Buzzy Cavanaugh.

Honey, you're acting
like you owe him money.

Is he coming this way?

He has to, if he
wants to get out.

Ann!

Oh, hello, Buzzy. Hello.

Good to see you
again, Hollinger.

Good to see you again, too.

You're looking lovely as usual.

Thank you, Buzzy.

Well, I must be off.

Puffy is waiting.

That guy's got some
nerve, doesn't he?

Look, Donald.

$88.43 exactly.

You're kidding.

That was very nice of Buzzy.

You mean that was
very nice of Puffy.

Your table is
ready, Dr. Hollinger.

Thank you.

Dr. Hollinger?

Well, it gets you
better service.

Never create false
impressions, Donald.

This is dinner,
not single mingle.

Well, what happens if a
pregnant lady at the next table

suddenly goes into labor?

Can't help her.
I'm a veterinarian.

♪♪

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
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