That '70s Show (1998–2006): Season 7, Episode 23 - Take It or Leave It - full transcript

That's funny, Eric.

I thought I told you to
clean out the Vista Cruiser.

But what I must've said
was, "go sit on your ass."

No, I was there, Red. You definitely
said, "Go clean out the Cruiser."

But he just insists
on being defiant.

Look, I'm sorry, dad, but
something really important came up.

"I dream of Jeannie" did her blinking thing,
and now Dr. Bellows thinks he's a monkey, so...

No. Dr. Bellows is a monkey that thinks
he's a doctor. That's what's funny.

He's sittin' at the desk
and stuff. But he's a monkey.

You're a monkey.

You're a monkey.



Eric, I need that car to go
pick up Charlie at the airport.

You're bringing
another guy here?

We need another guy here like I need
another firecracker in my bathing suit.

Well, until you learn to stop wearin' speedos,
you're gonna keep gettin' firecrackers.

Charlie's this
annoyingly nice kid.

His dad and my dad were
drinking buddies in the navy.

We weren't drinking buddies.

We were finely honed
killing buddies.

Yeah, well, I
never liked him.

At the last navy picnic, we
got teamed up for the egg toss.

And he dropped our egg on purpose just
so these little sick kids could win.

Those little twerps went home with my
goldfish-in-a-bag. My goldfish-in-a-bag.

Yeah, well, Charlie's only gonna be
here a few days on business for his dad,

and the last thing he needs is
to be exposed to you deviants.



Whoa, dad, we
are not deviants.

Jeannie's bending over!

Let's go.

Um,

you guys, I gotta talk to Steven
about something really serious.

Maybe she's pregnant!

Maybe she cheated on him.

Maybe she cheated on
him and she's pregnant.

Oh.

Steven,

this TV producer called to tell
me he loved my public access show.

And then he offered me a job at his
station in Chicago starting next week.

Whoa. Um,

you're gonna take a job
and move to Chicago?

No, no, not yet. No, I wanted
to talk to you about it first.

Uh-oh.

This is "serious"
serious, not funny serious.

We should probably leave.

But we won't.

Steven, this is
my dream come true.

But you are the most important
thing in the world to me.

So I'm willing to give it
all up and stay here with you.

But if I do that,

I need to know we're
gonna get married.

Jackie, we just agreed not
to talk about our future.

But our future is
happening right now.

Look, the station needs an answer
by noon on sunday, and I do, too.

Well, I don't know
what to say right now.

I know this is a
sensitive moment,

but may I offer
a word of advice?

Run!

That 70's Show - Saison 7 Episode 23
"Take It Or Leave It"

Traduction par Guzo et
Yvan Synchro par Kiff

Merci ? Raceman

Pre?asoval / Retiming
blsho

Eric, you remember Charlie.

Well, I remember a
perfectly tossed egg from me,

an unconvincing
"whoops" from him,

and the sound of laughter as some children
ran away with my goldfish-in-a-bag.

Eric, you put some kind of spin on that
egg. It was uncatchable, like a curveball.

Ha!

Your whole story's
unraveling, man.

I can't throw a curveball.

Dad... tell him.

I'm gonna have to side
with my son on this one.

He can't even throw
a straight ball.

Charlie,

I made you a pancake smiley face with sausage
arms and a little scrambled egg cardigan.

Where's my
whimsical breakfast?

Oh, well, since you decided to go
teach in Africa without consulting me,

all you get is a
plain pancake breakfast

with nothing smiling
at you. Nothing.

- Morning.
- Hey, I smell bacon.

Hey, boys. Have
you met Charlie?

Oh, hey, I'm Kelso. I'm
gonna eat your breakfast.

And I'm Fez, and just so you know,
I'm the coolest guy in this gang.

All right, I
gotta go to work.

Charlie, if Eric and his
friends start to bother you,

just hold up a book. It's
like kryptonite to them.

Oh,

hey, Donna.

Are you still mad about
this whole Africa thing?

Yep,

but instead of pouting at my house and being miserable,
I decided to come here and make you miserable.

That's the spirit, Donna.

Here. Eat his bacon.

- Mmm.
- You made me bacon?

Yep. I just kept it
over here in America.

Mmm. Bacon.

Wow. Who is she?

Don't even think about it.

Donna is with Eric,
and then she's mine.

And then she is mine.

And then, right back to
me for another go-around.

Hey, Hyde, I
heard about Jackie.

What are you gonna do?

Well,

I spent all morning kickin' back
with my stash to see what came to me.

But all that came to me
was a great idea for a movie

that now I just
can't remember.

Is that what
that smell was?

Aren't you afraid
you'll get arrested?

I'm a cop.

You guys are crazy.

The closest I ever
came to breaking the law

was when me and my friend Toby cut out of
school five minutes before the last bell.

Whoo! My heart
was beating so fast.

'Cause you were naked?

No.

I don't get it.

You know what, Hyde?
Your problem is

you didn't handle Jackie's
ultimatum like a man.

Like, if Donna tries that with me,
I'm just gonna say, "hey, guess what.

"You don't get to tell me
what to do with my life."

And then, depending on
how much steam I have left,

I may even call her "toots."

Hey, Eric.

You know how, um, guys always ask me out,
but I say no because I have a boyfriend?

It's true. She won't budge.

Well, since you're going to Africa, I figure,
you know, I should be moving on with my life, too,

and there's this guy named Kevin where I
work, and he asked me out tonight. I said yes.

What? You're gonna... Oh.

I think I see
what's goin' on here.

Looks like somebody's
caught the ultimatum bug.

Okay, um, I'll play along.

You're gonna go out with
this Kevin guy, or what?

Or nothing. This
isn't an ultimatum.

Okay, I'm prepared
for an ultimatum.

I need to figure out
what I'm gonna wear.

Maybe that really
short pink skirt.

Oh, that's over at my place.

You have her skirt?

Don't judge me, new guy.

It feels so good not to be
the monkey in the middle.

Dance, monkey, dance!

I can't believe Donna's goin'
out with this guy from work.

You know, I made a point of going
down there and spreading a rumor that

she had crabs.

Don't talk to me, Forman. This whole
thing with Jackie is all your fault.

How?

Because I wouldn't have even been in the
basement last night when Jackie came over

if we had gone to go play
pinball like I wanted,

but you wouldn't go. So now I
gotta figure out my entire life

because you claim the
change guy touched you weird.

He put the quarters
right into my pocket.

I'm tired of messin' with Charlie. He's
not even reachin' for the ball anymore.

Well, you know, if you want, we
can hang out at my dad's warehouse.

- Oh, that sounds great.
- Really?

No. Shut up.

I have to get down there and unlock the
door. We're getting a shipment today.

Shipment of what?

Beer. My dad owns
a beer warehouse.

Your dad owns a
beer warehouse?

Mm-hmm.

You can touch the ball now.

You had to see Eric's face
when I told him about my date.

He was all nervous
and surprised.

It reminded me
of his sex face.

Donna, I don't wanna hear about
Eric's sex face. I'm upset enough.

You wanna know what
the best part is?

I don't even have a date.

I made the whole thing up
just to mess with Eric's head.

I wish I had manipulated Steven
instead of opening up my heart.

Now I'm the vulnerable
one waiting for his answer.

Yeah, I was a
little surprised.

I mean, the bitchy stuff
is your bread and butter.

You know, I had fake pregnancy right
up my sleeve, and I didn't even use it.

Whoa.

Holy crap.

That's the most
beer I've ever seen.

let me just get the lights.

Let me rephrase that.

That's the most
beer I've ever seen.

It's the mother lode.

It's like now I know how the immigrants felt when
they finally saw the majestic skyline of New York city.

Actually, Eric, most of the
immigrants arrived in the 19th century,

before the skyline
was ever built.

I mean...

beer!

Yeah!

I...

I...

I-I don't know
where to start.

You know, the kegs are cold. Why
don't we start with the kegs?

Hey,

we'll handle this, new guy.

We'll start with the kegs.

There's nothin' like drinkin'
beer straight from the tap.

This must be why babies
love breast-feeding.

Reminds me of an
ancient chinese proverb.

It goes,

somethin',
somethin', somethin',

crazy girlfriend.

Somethin', somethin',

drink lots of beer.

Hyde, I don't think we're gonna find the
answer to our problems in a keg of beer.

Unless they're at the
bottom, so drink up!

I've been in this warehouse a
hundred times, and I never did this.

Now I know why my
grandmother is an alcoholic.

This feels great!

I'm gonna need
a bigger mouth.

Girls,

please tell me that
Charlie is here.

Isn't he at your
house with the guys?

No.

Oh, sweet lord,
they got him.

You know, Donna,

you should be out there trying
to keep Eric from going to Africa

instead of sitting
here on your patootie.

Well, I'm doing
everything I can.

I even lied to him and told him I
was out on a date with another guy.

Sweetie, that's
amateur hour.

God gave you a
very full chest.

I suggest you start
using it on my son.

I cannot believe
Eric went out.

He's supposed to be
at home agonizing.

Well, maybe they went out to buy
flowers for when Steven proposes.

No, they woulda
just sent Fez.

They're out having fun.

And that is exactly
what we're gonna do.

Okay,

here's what I don't get...

Why would Sally sell seashells
down by the seashore?

I mean, that's a terrible
location for a seashell stand.

Yeah.

I mean, if she wanted to make money,
she would sell seashells by the subway.

You know what she should
sell by the seashore?

Shoeshines.

'Cause your sandals
get so sandy.

Sandy sandals.

We should start a girl
band called Sandy Sandals.

What's wrong?

Well, sand
reminds me of dirt,

and dirt reminds
me of Steven.

Jackie, I'm sure Hyde
will do the right thing.

You know,

I thought if I really
put myself out there,

he'd see how much I love
him and say yes right away.

And then when he
didn't, I thought,

okay, well, maybe he'll take a
couple of hours and then say yes.

But now I think he's only taking
so long 'cause he's gonna say no.

Donna, what if he says no?

Jackie,

if Hyde says no,

then you and I get a van, and
the sandy sandals tour America.

And in a nutshell, that's what it's like to be
on the debate team at a catholic high school.

Yeah, I love
catholic schoolgirls.

They don't teach sex ed, so
they don't know what not to do.

Yeah, maybe. Uh,

but I never really got
together with any of 'em.

Wait, you never...

Okay, wait, wait,
wait. Everyone, wait.

Before you start in on
him, let me just say,

when I was a virgin,

all I wanted was for one
person to say it was okay.

And no one did.

- Neither will I.
- Freak!

Okay...

I finally made up
my mind about Jackie.

I'm gonna marry
her. I'm gonna be

Mrs. Jackie Hyde!

I think you need
one more beer.

Could be.

Virgin.

Man,

how do you not have sex with all those girls
that are always throwing themselves at you?

That doesn't happen
to everyone, jackass.

How dare she give me an ultimatum?
This is my life she's messing with.

She can go to hell! I
will see her in hell!

Maybe one more.

One more couldn't hurt.

Eric, I wonder what
Donna's doin' on her date.

Oh, you know what,
man? I don't care.

She just wants me to come
running after her, and

I'm not gonna do that.

You know what? That is
totally the right move, man.

Plus, it's,
like, after 9:00.

So if you go over there now, you'll
probably walk in on her and that guy

slidin' all over each other.

And if I know Donna,

she's moaning like a ghost.

Okay, Donna does not
moan like a ghost.

I could make her
moan like a ghost.

You know what, guys?

I'm a little confused,

but

I do know that
I love you guys.

I really, really do.

Hey, where'd Kelso go?

Well, hello,

toots.

Back from your
date so soon, huh?

Used to be you had to buy a
girl dinner if you want her to

slide all over you,
moaning like a ghost.

Okay, you know what?

I didn't have a
date. But I should've.

- Wait, so you lied?
- Yeah.

I was pissed.

I mean, all of a sudden,
you're leaving me.

Well, look, I'm only
gonna be gone for a year.

I don't care.

I don't want you to go.

I mean, you've always been, like,
20 steps away from me my entire life.

What am I supposed
to do without you?

Look,

Donna, this is gonna be
really tough for both of us.

But, hey, you know what? The
good news is, when I come back,

we're gonna spend all
this time together because,

you know, you're probably gonna have to nurse me
back to health from some horrible african disease.

Look...

You know I love you.

And we're wasting
our time fighting.

I know. You're right.

We should just enjoy
the time we have left.

Yeah.

I'm all for that.

Well, that's not what
I had in mind, but okay.

Wait, Eric, you're back.

Um, where's Steven?

Uh...

Okay, he's passed out in
the back of a beer warehouse.

You mean he's not coming.

He's gonna say
no. Oh, my god.

Oh, Jackie, I'm sorry.

What?

I'm too drunk anyway.

All right, you two.
Where's Charlie?

Look, dad, not
so loud, okay? We

We had a really rough night.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

Where's Charlie?!

Who is Charlie?

Last time I saw him, he was on a stack of
kegs claiming mount schlitz for the U. S.

Oh, crap.

And he was a good kid.

Now who am I gonna
spend time with?

I don't know.

Me?

Don't be a smart-ass.

Well, it's almost noon.

Guess I gotta go
talk to Jackie.

What are you
gonna tell her?

I don't know, man. I'm thinkin' about
lettin' the El Camino make the final decision.

If it pulls to
the left, marriage,

pulls to the
right, nudie bar.

So you haven't decided?

No, I've decided.

Steven...

Jackie stopped by and asked
me to give you this note.

Oh.

It says she took the job in
Chicago and she left this morning.

Oh, you poor baby.

You know what?

I am gonna turn my back and let you
go into the kitchen and have a beer.

That better be charlie.

Mr. Forman, is
this your daughter?

I don't know who
did this to him, but

they sure are clever.

They put you in
a dress, huh?

Welcome to Point Place.

Listen, Charlie,
about last night,

I know you're thinking you're
getting picked on a lot.

Hey, I know you guys
were just havin' some fun.

Let me finish.

Around here, I'm the
whipping boy. Not you, me.

Okay.

Let me finish.

I do the drinking and I put on
the dresses. You got it, hotshot?

Got it.

Would you let me finish?!

I'm finished.