That '70s Show (1998–2006): Season 7, Episode 24 - Short and Curlies - full transcript

Good morning, Mr. Forman.

Charlie!

Didn't recognize you without
your schoolgirl skirt.

Why don't you go drink another
warehouse full of beer?

And then you can get out of
those uncomfortable boy things.

Wow.

He came in here...

Just attact you and
completly ignored me.

You must be the one of (?)

Man,

I really got off on
the wrong foot with your dad.



Ah, it'll blow over. How long
could he stay mad at a kid, right?

You know what? Later on, I'm gonna find
him and apologize. I'm sure he'll understand.

Yeah. Hey, if you're lookin'
for a good conversation starter,

just say we were probably
wrong to go into Vietnam.

Here's your
breakfast, Charlie.

Oh, Eric,

I didn't realize you still lived
here. I thought you left for Africa.

No, I've been sitting here
for, like, ten minutes.

Then you'd better get going, or
you're gonna be late for Africa.

Okay, I get it, mom. You're trying
to make me feel bad about leaving.

Oh, are you still here? I
thought you were in Africa.

So, my mom do the whole pass of
agressive guilt-think about me going to Africa.

Basicly, just consist of her
saying a word "Africa" a lot.

Well...



I believe that if you want how do you feel
is better to use a directive brunch.

Like this....

Don't go to Africa, dillhole!

So, Hyde...
Speaking of a annoying women who hit...

Have you heard
anything from Jackie?

Nope. That's
fine by me, man.

Who does she think she is,
giving me an ultimatum...

"Marry me or I'm
moving to Chicago"?

Then she takes off before
I even give her an answer.

Well, what's the big deal,
man? She let you off the hook.

Yeah. You were gonna
say no anyway, unless...

Oh, my god! You
were gonna say yes!

No.

What?

No.

Oh, my god. You
were gonna marry her.

You were gonna marry
her because you love her.

Hey,

Jackie,

you're everything this poor
little orphan boy ever needed.

- Oh, my god! I really am.
- Oh, my god!

Hey,

I don't love her.

You know what love is? Love is for
losers who are too afraid to be alone.

Uh, no, you're
thinking of kittens.

So I gotta go. I'm gonna go
wrap your going-away present.

Eric, you're the one going away.
You didn't have to get me anything.

Yeah, well, I knew you
were gonna get me something.

I didn't want this to
be awkward again like,

you know, Christmas.

Well, I did get
you something.

Oh, crap, I didn't
get him anything!

He leaves in three days.

Oh, well, why don't you
just get him an ultimatum?

It's free. You don't
have to wrap it.

It'll totally make
him wish he was dead.

Yeah.

Well, it's between that or one of those
shirts that makes him look all muscley.

That 70's Show - Saison 7 Episode 24
"Short And Curlies"

Traduction par Guzo Et
Yvan Synchro par Kiff

Merci ? Raceman

Pre?asoval / Retiming
Pridal dial?gy / Adding dialogs
blsho

Look at the blanket I
got for our new apartment.

I found it in a dumpster.

It's got lots of stains,
so it goes with everything.

That is so awesome.

I'm not even gonna ask what
you were doing in the dumpster.

Is Steven here?

No, he went to work.

Oh, but before he left, he was chucking everything
you ever gave him all around the basement.

It was like a hailstorm of
stuffed animals and ABBA records.

Wait,

what are you doing here anyway?
I thought you left for Chicago.

I would have, but my mom
took the car to Tijuana

and won't be back till Cinco
de Mayo, whenever that is.

So until then, I need you guys
to help me avoid the horrors

of seeing Steven till I can figure
out a way to get out of here.

Well, that's too bad, 'cause I think
I hear him coming down the stairs now.

Oh, my god. What do I do?

Okay, um... Quick, get
down under the blanket!

He's not coming down. I made the whole thing
up, and now you're under a stinky blanket!

The stinky blanket burn!

That is awesome!

Oh, that is disgusting.

Oh, this blanket
smells like dog.

That's because when I found it,
it was wrapped around a dead dog.

Uh-oh, Jackie. He's coming
for real this time. Get down!

Oh, my god!

- I got her!
- I got her!

I am gonna kick you
both in the nads.

You're gonna have to do it
later, because here he comes now.

Oh, well, now I
don't believe you.

Okay, then.

Hey, come on in. Good to see you,
Hyde. What's going on, buddy?

She did it again!

I hate you!

Oh, man. We can do this all day.

I've got nowhere to be, man.

I got the best going-away
present for Eric.

Okay...

a pen and pencil set.

That way he can
write me every day.

Well, isn't that just...

Donna,

a going-away gift should
be something special,

meaningful, personal.

Okay, like what...
clock radio?

Underwear? Some
spoons? Help me.

No, honey, like...

Okay. Before Red
went to Korea,

I had my sister take a sexy
boudoir photograph of me.

I was wearing nothing
but a fur coat.

Mrs. Forman, you
bad, bad girl.

It was racy.

You could see my knees.

Hi, Eric.

We need something to drink.

Our throats are all drive from laughting over Jackie
and the stinky blanket.

Jackie and the stinky blanket...

Ow, that sound like a (?) mistery.

I tell you, what the mistery is...

Why (????)

'couse she got glasses.

Mistery solved.

So I gotta go over to
Donna's, get my going-away present.

Man, she is, like, the
world's worst gift giver.

Remember that ugly sweater
vest and that huge man ring?

Now I gotta go get excited
about some other lame thing.

"Oh, wow, Donna, clown
shoes. Thank you so much."

I wish I had a beautiful
girl give me clown shoes.

Hell, I'd settle for a beautiful
clown giving me girl shoes.

I dated a clown once.

But soon as I learned how to make
those balloon animals, I dumped her.

Excuse me, Mr.
Forman... Oh!

Ohh!

What the hell?

Well, that was exciting.

Mr. Forman, I was looking for you to
apologize about the dress thing, okay?

But then I opened
the door, and wow!

No, I don't mean "Wow."
I mean, "Oh, no!"

No, no, I don't
mean, "Oh, no."

Well, what were you doing
just standing there?

I was like a deer caught in the
headlights.

Oh! I said, "headlights."

Red, it was a very
awkward situation.

No one knew what to do.

Well, I know what I would do if I saw
you naked. I'd turn and run the other way.

I mean there is no reason on Earth for
19-year-old boy to be stearing at a woman your age.

Oh, I...

look, damn it, he's the
one in trouble here, not me.

Hey, Kitty, could I have some peanut
oil? I'm gonna fry up some jumbo shrimp,

which is a funny name. It's like
calling someone a giant Midget.

I'd like to see
one of those.

Get this,

Charlie here walked into our
bedroom and saw Kitty naked.

Whoo-hoo! How was that?

Well, how do you think it
was? It was horrifying.

Excuse me.

So, Mr. Forman,

how wrong was it for us
to get into Vietnam, huh?

Uh-oh, Jackie. Hyde's
coming for real this time.

Quick, drink this
old root beer.

You know what? I am so tired of you two lying
about Steven just so you can humiliate me.

Okay, you're right. Let
me make it up to you...

by offering you this

different,
not-old root beer.

Jackie, Hyde is
coming right now.

You know what, Michael? I'm sorry, but
I'm not playing your little game anymore.

Jackie.

Why aren't you in Chicago?

Why do you smell
like a dead dog?

Okay, Donna,

I'm ready for my
going-away present.

Yahoo.

All right, here I come.

Holy mother of Skywalker.

You can do whatever you
want to princess Leia.

Her force field is down.

Donna, this is the best... wait a
second. Leia doesn't have a force field.

You know what? I'm too
excited to quibble. Come here.

I thought you left town.

Why?

Because you're so
amazing and incredible

that I simply couldn't exist in the same town
as you knowing you couldn't make a commitment?

No, because you wrote me a
note saying that you left town.

Well, that, Steven, was a metaphor.

A metaphor for the fact,
that my heart is might gone.

But, my body is still here.

In this very awkward situation.

Want me to cover you up
with the stinky blanket?

Would you guys get lost?

Oh, you want your
privacy. I understand.

We're just gonna go upstairs
and listen through the vent.

So what are you doing here, Jackie?
You got something you wanna say to me?

Yes,

I want to say that I'm
leaving for real this time.

So you came back to tell me
that you're leaving again.

Yes, but this is good-bye.

All right, I'll see
you tomorrow then.

Steven, I'm serious.

So want to hang
out next week?

I'm going.

Unless...

Unless, Steven, there's
something you'd like to say,

in which case,
I'm listening.

Yeah.

Have a good trip.

I will.

Can you guys stand closer
to the vent and talk louder?

Wow, so, uh,

It's like, I can
do anything I want?

Can I touch your buns?

What, you want
to touch my butt?

No, not...

Not those buns. You know...

The Buns.

Eric, that seems
kind of weird.

Yeah. You know what? That
is, like, a little weird.

Maybe I'll just rub my
face up against one of 'em.

Okay.

Leia...

Oh, Leia...

Donna, meet me downstairs for
fried shrimp in T minus 20 seconds.

Wear an old shirt.
These things are greasy.

Wow, that's almost enough to take
you right out of the moment, huh?

Um, okay, Donna. From now on, the
only thing I'd like you to say is,

"Use the force, Eric."

- Okay, that seems kind of...
- Donna.

Use the force, Eric.

Man, and now Mr. Forman is even madder
at me since I saw Mrs. Forman naked.

Doesn't he know I went to catholic school?
I don't even know what any of that stuff is.

Now what exactly
did you see?

And I'm only asking because

I find miss Kitty
attractive in a sexual way.

I know how you can get
back on Red's good side...

walk in on him naked.

No way, man. I do know what that
stuff is, and I don't want to see it.

Seriously, look,
it's perfect.

Look, Red assumes that everyone
is either a pervert or an idiot.

- He thinks I'm both.
- He thinks I'm both.

See, and if you walk in on Red naked, he's gonna
assume that you're the biggest idiot in the world.

That kind of makes sense.

You know, you probably hear this all
the time, but you're really smart.

I do hear that all the time.

Hey, Jackie.

How'd it go with Hyde?
Did he ask you to stay?

No.

But even if he did, I can't stay, because
I've got a career waiting for me in Chicago.

But I am stuck here in this
stupid place with no way out.

Jackie, you know
what would help?

If you eat this
dirty milk dud.

Shut up, Fez.

Jackie,

I'm here for you, okay? So

I'll even give you a ride.

Really?

Oh, Michael, that
would be great.

And I won't do anything,

because frankly, I
don't have much to offer.

You guys smell smoke?

Everyone out of the house!

I used too much
oil in the fry baby.

The whole kitchen's
filled with smoke.

Bob? Bob, are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine, but my shrimp are ruined.
So I'm gonna have to eat with you guys.

I hope you make something good, Kitty.

Fire! Fire!

What the hell
is on your head?

I'm still wearing
the helmet, aren't I?

What did you do
to my daughter?

Nothing.

I was a perfect gentleman.

I just squeezed her buns.

I suggest a photgraph.

Not a go-go dancer from out of space.

I smell like smoke
from Bob's damn fire.

If Kitty's looking for me, I
went upstairs to take a shower.

Now's your chance
to catch Red naked.

- He's gonna think I'm such an idiot!
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Give him enough time
to take everything off.

You don't want to walk in on
him wearing nothing but socks.

That would just make
this whole thing weird.

Oh, boy.

Get back here, you pervert!

That boy just can't
get enough of me.

Sorry my present
didn't work out.

Well...

I mean, we are alone now.

And, uh, I think I know exactly what
might get you back in the mood...

a little romantic music.

Where were we?

Oh, yes, you were a prisoner
aboard the death star.

And I

am the only
stormtrooper

with the keys to your
laser chastity belt.

That's in the movie?

Donna, it's implicit.

God, I'm gonna
miss you, Eric.

I'm sorry.

What was that?

Use the force, Eric.

All right,

here we are.

Good luck in Chicago.

Uh, Michael, this
is the bus station.

Yeah.

I said I'd give you a ride, and then under
my breath I whispered, "to the bus station."

No, no, no.

No.

I can't ride the bus.

Other people's butts
have been on those seats.

Well, I'm not driving you all the way
there. That's, like, two hours away.

Michael, you put this car in gear
and take me to Chicago right now.

You know what?

You haven't changed at all. You're
still just a spoiled little princess

who gets by on her good looks and bitchy
demands and mean and painful pinches.

Yeah, well, you still
don't have any manners.

A real man wouldn't let
the princess ride the bus.

Well, you know what?

You're not even a princess.
You're just a little bossy boss!

That's right, Michael.

I'm the boss, and you're taking
the boss to Chicago right now.

Ow! Fine!

You're always
telling me what to do.

I've missed this.

Please, Mr. Stormtrooper,

I'll do anything you want if you
only spare the planet Alderaan.

Eric, you have a line.
We rehearsed this.

Wait a minute.

Fez!

But I just want to touch the
buns. Let me touch the buns.