That '70s Show (1998–2006): Season 7, Episode 18 - Oh, Baby We Got a Good Thing Goin' - full transcript

Man, I am so psyched
for this auto show.

I'm telling you, once I
trick out my el camino,

it is going to be
bad freakin' ass.

You know, "tricking out"
sounds a lot like accessorizing.

Hey, don't ever call
it that, all right?

But, yeah, that's
basically what it is.

Kitty, I'm begging you to stop. There's
gonna be hundreds of auto parts salesmen,

and now that I have the muffler shop, they're
gonna be getting in line to kiss my butt.

Well, and they will be happy to kiss it
because everything from my house is spotless.

All right, I'm getting in the car,

I'm counting to 60, and if
you're not there, I'm leaving.



Ah, the honeymoon
speech again.

Whoops.

I can't forget my book.
You know,

this new Jackie Collins romance
really gives me a case of the tingles.

Mrs. Forman, please,

your tingles are
your own business.

You move into my house,
you hear about my tingles.

Jackie,

I hope you brought a book. When we get to
the auto show, the guys are gonna ignore us.

Mrs. Forman, I'm a beautiful girl
with a shrill, demanding voice.

I'm pretty hard to ignore.

Okay, but we can't compete
with a bunch of cars.

Wheels are like
bosoms to men,

and a car has four.



I'm getting better.

Leo, check it out. It's my baby!

Oh,

this is Brooke.

Oh, isn't she adorable?

Yeah.

I can see why you knocked her up.

Michael, thanks again for watching
Betsy. Everyone else was busy.

Thanks for trusting me.

Yeah.

It's my first time. I'm pretty
nervous. I tried on three outfits.

No, you guys will be great. All
little girls love their daddies.

Plus I'll bet you'll probably
like a lot of the same toys.

Ooh, I'm late.

Oh, yes.

Hi.

Ohh! Bye-bye, Betsy-pie.
Mommy loves you.

- Yes, she does, yes, she does.
- All right, hand her over.

- You're so attached. Just...
- oh...

look, don't worry.

All she does is sleep. It's like
taking care of a bowling ball.

I don't like bowling, man.

You throw the ball down there,
and it keeps coming back.

It's spooky, man.

Okay, Donna, I've just spent the last ten
minutes cologning and powdering myself.

Let's spill'em and feel 'em.

We can't, because Fez is here.

Yeah.

I'm here, and you can't.

Fez, buddy, come on.

You of all people should understand
how important sex is to a man.

Why should you do it if I can't?

Because I have a girlfriend.

Why should you have a
girlfriend if I can't?

Okay, how are we
gonna work this out?

Give her to me.

Guys, check it out.

Brooke finally let
me take care of Betsy.

We're gonna stay here
for the day, okay?

No. Come on. Donna and I
have a do-it day planned.

Yeah, and I think I got a piece of this.

Look, why don't you
do it at your house?

I can't. My brother's friends are
over there, and they're playing darts,

and they don't use a dartboard. They just
run around and throw 'em at each other.

Okay, Donna,

I'm going go upstairs and
change into something sexy.

Now either you come join me in 60 seconds,
or I'm gonna have to start without you, and...

we both know how awkward it
is when you walk in on that.

What's this?

That's breast milk.
Don't touch it.

Breast milk?

From real breasts?

What don't they do?

Kelso, she's so adorable.

Why is she making
that weird face?

- It's poo!
- It's poo!

It smells in there,
too! It's everywhere!

That 70's Show - Saison 7 Episode 18
"Oh, Baby (We Got A Good Thing Goin' )"

Traduction par Guzo
Synchro par Kiff

Merci ? Raceman

Pre?asoval / Retiming
blsho

We have to dispose
of the dirty diaper.

Shark.

Shark.

Oh.

What do you want
me to do with it?

Just chuck it.

What about the shark?

Chuck it. Chuck it all.

Why is she still crying?
We just changed her.

Maybe she doesn't like
you. Ah, baby burn.

No.

I know what it is.

We left her teddy bear at my
house. I'll go get it. Here.

Um...

Aren't you gonna
take her with you?

No. I can't take
Betsy in my car.

I took out the seat belts
to make it go faster.

Okay, don't grab those.
I'm not your mommy.

Yeah, a lady once said
that to me on the bus.

Well, it wasn't a lady.
It was more like a man-lady.

It's hard to tell
sometimes, you know?

Why tell this story, Fez?

Why?

Yeah, man, look at this place.

Chrome, tires,
half-dressed women...

it's like sunday dinner
at my grandma's house.

All right, salesmen,

pucker up. Red Forman's
ass is in the building.

Okay, well, mine's gone. I
give yours about 30 seconds.

All right, Jackie, so let's
start off looking at new tires,

then after lunch, you can help me pick
out an obnoxiously loud car stereo.

Wait, you're gonna spend
the day with Jackie?

Yeah, man. She's my chick.

All right, I'm gonna go get us a funnel cake.
But listen, this is a rough crowd, all right?

So if any guys come up to you and
offer to teach you how to drive a stick,

just say no and
pull the fire alarm.

Told ya he wouldn't ditch me.

I'm his "chick."

Jackie, he's a man.

Accept the fact that
he is not coming back.

When I was in labor, Red
went to get me ice chips.

I didn't see him for an hour and a half
because he found a pinball machine.

No way.

But it's fine.

Ha. I laugh about it now.

I do.

I will.

It's just not that funny.

I think she's out.

Well, in that case...

Eric,

we can't do that with her in here.

What? Come on.
She's fast asleep.

And it's been over a week for us.

Donna, you can only keep the
tiger in its cage for so long.

Yeah, that's right. I'm
callin' it a tiger now.

Crap, the baby's awake.

No, no, no, no, no. Hey,
Betsy. Close your eyes,

'cause aunt Donna and
uncle Eric are gonna do it.

Eric, you are seriously disturbed.
We have to take care of her.

No, no, come on. She's fine.

You can't put the tiger back in his
cage now, Donna. He's all agitated.

How can a crying
baby not turn you off?

Two words,
Donna... eight teen.

- Nothing turns me off.
- Yeah?

Hey, Fez.

Why are you
staring at that milk?

It's from a breast.

Simply remarkable.

Okay, you're clearly a demented
pervert, so let me ask you something.

Would you be able to have
sex with a baby in the room?

No way. I can barely do it
with a woman in the room.

Congratulations, Eric. You're
more despicable sexually than Fez.

Okay, Donna, here's the thing,

I'm a man, so my on/off
switch is always on.

Now you can either deal with that

or you can switch to girls.

Donna, if that's your baby,
I'm gonna snap Eric in half.

Dad, don't you think you woulda
noticed if I was pregnant?

Not really. I'm not
that hands-on of a dad.

Anyhoo, I bought a hammock and put it up
in the den 'cause it's too cold outside.

Now I need someone to push me.

Sure, I'll push you
in the hammock, Bob.

Then I'll climb up a tree
and pluck you a fresh coconut.

I don't think so, Bob.

Okay, it's your loss,
but I'm a big tipper.

Okay...

I got Betsy's Teddy bear. And it
wasn't easy dodging my brothers.

I got a dart in the calf.

Oh.

Here's my little girl. Huh?

Hey, baby. Look.

Look, it's your Teddy bear
and your handsome daddy.

Why won't she stop crying?

Maybe it is me.

What if she doesn't like me?

Kelso, don't take it personally.

I didn't like you
when I first met you.

But that's because you
were peeing on my swing set.

Well,

it was brand-new,
and I was jealous.

One funnel cake, extra sugar.

Oh,

Steven, I knew you'd come back,
and to show you how thankful I am,

I'm gonna feed you a piece.

Oh, get a room.

Did you see Red?

He didn't come back yet?

That's weird. He was in front
of me in the funnel cake line.

What the...

Okay, gals, say, "funnel cake."

Funnel cake.

Oh, my god!

There goes the fun.

Well, I hope you're happy, Red Forman,
because we are leaving. You two!

get your a-s-ses
back to the car.

You two, get your
b-double o-bs off my husband.

I can't believe that lookin' in this
mirror isn't puttin' her in a great mood.

It always works for me.

Man, am I glad
I found you guys.

All these houses look alike.

Except for that red one on the
corner where the clown lives.

That's a McDonald's.

Well, whatever his
name is, he's funny.

Hey, what's with the baby, man?

I don't know. I can't
get her to quit crying.

Here, let me try.

Yeah.

yeah.

How'd you do that?

Babies love me, man,

'cause I'm fuzzy.

I'll go give her a bottle.

That proves it.

My own baby hates me.

That's not true.

She only stopped crying
when Leo held her because...

he has the shakes.

No. It's me.

She hardly knows me,

and a girl needs her father,
you know, for guidance.

What happens if she grows up
and starts dating, like, Fez?

Boy, if she looks anything like
you, she'll be way outta my league.

Kelso, if you really feel like that, you
should start getting to know her now.

Go hold her.

You're right.

Leo?

Oh, my god. They're gone.

Everybody... everybody
just stay calm!

The breast milk is safe.

Are they outside?

Not in the driveway, but
Eric went to check the park.

And they're not upstairs.

Although I did find Kitty's special occasion
panties hanging on the towel bar.

There's a lot more goin'
on up there than we think.

How could I
let this happen?

I am the worst father ever.

Betsy?

No, Michael, it's me. I'm callin'
to check in. How's she doing?

How's she doing? Fine.
God, quit smothering her.

Hey, put the phone to
her ear, let me say hi.

It's Brooke. She wants
to talk to the baby.

Gimme.

Hey, mama, send more milk.

Was that Fez?

Yeah.

We... we're just
messin' around.

But, uh, Betsy...
she's... she's sleepin'.

She'S... yeah. She's...
she's sleepin' like a little...

somethin' that
sleeps a lot.

Okay. Well,

just give her a kiss for
me, and I'll see you later.

Okay.

You guys,

what am I gonna do? I'm... I'm...
I'm really startin'to freak out.

All right, Kelso,
just relax.

She's with Leo.
He's great with kids.

I'm sure he's watchin'
her like a hawk.

Oh, little sweetie.

What are you doin'
in my house, hippie?

Are you sure
this is your house?

Of course it's my house.

I believe ya.

The guy screaming
usually owns the house.

All right, when Kitty shows up,
she's gonna be pretty mad. So

I think we should
just leave her here.

She can't getany madder.

I think you should
definitely leave her here.

Kitty.

They tried to leave you!
I tried to stop 'em.

Jackie, I'm perfectly fine.

I just need to speak to
Red in the car for a minute.

How could you, Red Forman?

Steven stayed with Jackie, but you went
off and gave my funnel cake to those whores.

I was just trying
to have a little fun.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you can take your
funand shove it up your...

Michael, I just want to
talk to my daughter.

I'm sorry, Brooke.
She's still asleep.

Kelso,

tell her the truth, or I'm gonna touch you
with Mrs. Forman's special occasion panties.

Oh, those are
in my backpack.

Okay...

Brooke, uh...
about Betsy.

There's something
I have to tell you.

Anyone lose a baby?

I found her!

You found her?

No, no, I said,
"I love her."

That is not what you said.

You know what? You never
listen to me. I'm hanging up.

Kelso, you did say
you found her.

You know, you women

all stick together.

Think she wants
her daddy.

It's okay.

Daddy's here.

Do you hear that?

She stopped crying.

I think she knows it's me.

And I think she likes me.

That's so beautiful.

I promised myself
I wouldn't do this.

Listen, Kitty, I'm sorry
about today. It's just...

they pay those ladies to
flirt with guys like me.

They're almost hookers.

I shoulda stayed
in the den.

No, no, no. Those girls
didn't bother me.

I can outlast those tramps
any day of the week.

It was just... seeing
Steven and Jackie together.

Oh,

you can't compare our mature
relationship to what those kids have.

Ah, we're past all those highs
and lows. We're like a...

Like a sailboat
in a dead calm.

Look, Kitty...

The important thing is

every morning,

I get to wake up next to my
favorite girl in the whole world.

Reginald Albert Forman.

Whoa.

Okay, how about that?

On or off?

Yeah, that's a showstopper.

Oh, that's too bad 'cause
it really turns me on.

No, get... god,
get off of me.

Who loves you?

Your daddy does,
that's who.

Well, I can't remember the last time
you made that much of a fuss over me.

Ohh.

There's my baby girl.

Mommy missed you.

Yeah, I don't want
to let her go.

She's so beautiful
and warm.

Well, apparently
I'm ugly and cold.

- Oh, here. Look at her smiling.
- There we go.

Oh, I'm so happy
she loves her daddy.

- Yeah.
- Yes, It is.

Hey,

listen, uh...

I know I haven't
been around much, but, uh...

That's gonna change'cause
she's my girl, and

I wanna know her.

That would be awesome.

- Um...
- I got it.

Grab her stuff, and I'll
go put her in the car.

Yeah, here.

Thanks.

You need help, man.

Yes, I do.

I hate myself.

But the money's
just so good.

A little faster so
it stirs my drink.