That '70s Show (1998–2006): Season 3, Episode 25 - The Promise Ring - full transcript
Eric and Kelso buy promise rings for Donna and Jackie. Eric gives Donna the ring but she doesn't react the way Eric thought. Kelso is unsure Jackie would want a ring and hesitates to give it. Meanwhile, Jackie heard Kelso got her a ring and can't wait to get it. Hyde and Fez go cruising for girls.
Hey, whatcha doin'?
Just countin' my secret stash.
- I'm gettin' something special for Donna.
- Something special, huh?
Oh, is it firecrackers?
No.
No, no, 'cause if it's somethin'
that blows up, I'll go halfsies.
It's a promise ring.
'Cause, you know, Donna and I
have been fighting a lot lately.
Forman, you get
mushy with Donna...
she's gonna see
the secret girl inside the man.
Now, trust me, you don't
want to let Erica out.
Erica.
That's a good burn.
You can't do that
with Michael. I'm lucky.
Oh, really, Michelle?
Oh, I forgot about Michelle.
Look, Hyde obviously doesn't
understand mature relationships...
but I do.
And a promise ring is not only
a gift from the heart...
but it also means more sex
and less mouthing off.
I'm gettin' one for Jackie too!
Great. Let's go.
All right.
See you later, Hyde-a...
alicia.
What's a good
girlie name for Hyde?
Uh, Hyde...
drangea?
It's Heidi, you morons! Heidi!
Okay, is it me, or is
this not a ring store?
Will you trust me?
I know a guy who knows a guy.
He'll be here any minute.
Hey, dudes.
Leo's the guy?
Kelso, I thought you knew
a guy who knew a guy.
Yeah, I do.
But I know Leo.
Fine, so you're the guy!
So, Leo, you sell promise rings?
Promise rings, concert T's...
other stuff.
- Really?
- That's nice.
Yeah.
Okay, we'll take
two rings and...
a misdemeanor's worth
of the other stuff.
Ah, the ring of love.
Just holding it makes me feel
mellow and content.
Actually, that might
not be the ring.
Why is everybody
but Fez in love?
If I don't get some romance soon,
I'm going to give myself a blister.
Well, another blister.
Tell you what, Fez.
I'm going to take you...
cruising for chicks
in the El Camino.
And I'm gonna let
you buy the gas...
and buy my dinner.
And if we meet a chick...
I'm gonna let you walk home.
Guys, what if Jackie doesn't want
a ring from a guy like me?
I mean, sure, I'm good lookin',
but I can't be trusted.
No, you guys are
the perfect couple.
You do the bad stuff,
and she tries to catch you.
She's... Smokey to your Bandit.
God, it's like that movie
applies to everything!
I just... I wish there was a way
I could give Jackie a thing...
that wasn't actually the ring.
You know, like a... a test gift
just to see what she would say.
And then if it went bad,
I could just walk away.
Hey, am I talking in rhyme?
I wish I could do that
all the time.
Oh! Oh, man!
That was fun, huh?
It was a good movie.
It was one of those love movies
like you like, huh?
And who took ya?
This guy.
- Yeah, it was great.
- You know what else this guy did for ya?
Got you a present.
"To Donna. Love, This Guy."
Yeah. That's me.
Oh, my God!
It's a promise ring.
Eric, it's... it's beautiful.
I'm so glad you like it.
'Cause look...
- even though things have been a little weird lately...
- Oh!
Look how cute on the car!
Here, look what Eric got me!
Oh, my! Red, go get the camera.
- Kitty...
- Mom, I...
Go! It's in the drawer
near the cheese grater.
Mom... No.
Hush. Donna, now...
make the face you made
when Eric gave you the ring.
Oh, now, see, I don't think
you rolled your eyes!
Kitty...
I cut myself on
the cheese grater.
Oh, now you get back here
and smile, damn it!
Can you believe it?
- Isn't it pretty?
- Yeah.
I really need to introduce you
to my good friend nail polish.
And a promise ring
is sacred, Donna.
- Why aren't you wearing it on your left ring finger?
- I don't know.
'Cause I like it on this finger.
What's the difference?
Donna, if you don't wear your
promise ring on your left ring finger...
it totally cancels out the promise
that you will be together forever.
Wait. That's what I promised?
Hey, ladies.
Oh, nice ring, Donna.
Jackie, let me see yours.
- I don't have one.
- Oh, no, of course not.
Because Kelso has not
given you one yet.
I mean, ever. I mean...
Look away.
Donna, did you hear that?
Michael's giving me a promise ring.
- Yeah, that's great.
- I wonder how he's gonna give it to me.
I hope he hides it in food.
I told him if he ever
gives me something nice...
he should put it in food.
It's classy.
All right, man, be cool.
These chicks
are checking us out.
Cool, gotcha.
Hello, ladies!
No, man, that's not
how you do it.
You gotta be aloof.
Did you just call me a "loof"?
Because if so,
I'll have to kick you in your 'nads.
No, man. Aloof.
Distant.
Zen.
Well, that's not what
loof means in my language.
Look, I don't care what you think it means,
that's what it means here.
You're the loof.
- Fez, it's not...
- I said loof!
Hey, sweetie.
I got you something.
It's a gift.
A token of my love.
- Do you accept it?
- A sundae?
Oh.
Yeah.
Mmm! Michael, this is good.
Uh...
You could, uh...
Uh, y-you could close your mouth
if you... if you wanted.
What the hell, Michael?
This is ice cream.
Stupid ice cream?
No, it's stupid
ice cream of love.
Oh, there you are.
The movie's about to start.
Come on. We're...
- Where's your ring?
- Oh, I put it on a chain so I could wear it around my neck.
Burn!
Oh, super burn.
The wedding's off!
Kelso, shut up!
Yeah, Michael, you don't know
anything about anything.
I do too!
Now I don't know
which fight's the funniest.
Wait, fight? We're...
Okay, I'll be right back.
Donna, why aren't you wearing
the ring... on your hand?
I don't know. I didn't think
it was a big deal.
That is not true! I told you.
I told her it was a big deal.
Look, Eric, why don't we
talk about this later?
Well, I... You know, there's not really
anything to talk about.
Unless... you don't
wanna wear the ring.
Ouch!
Sorry. I'm sorry.
It's great. The ring is great.
See?
- It's great.
- So we're good?
Yeah, fine.
Okay, good.
It's my God-given
right as a mother!
Oh, Mrs. Forman,
that is a wonderful picture.
You can really see
how unhappy Donna is.
Okay, all I know is...
when Donna said she was fine,
she didn't seem that fine.
Eric has never been good at knowing
when fine isn't fine.
It runs in the family.
Oh, it does not.
- Fine.
- Okay, good.
I don't know.
She doesn't look that unhappy.
She kinda looks like you.
I'm unhappy, Bob.
I'm just so worried
about Eric and Donna.
Ah, fine.
Welcome to Let's Make A Deal!
All right, Donna,
which is it going to be...
your future behind door number one,
door number two...
or door number three?
Oh, my God! I don't know! Um...
- Okay.
- Yeah?
- Door number three.
- Door number three.
All right, let's take a look at what you
didn't choose behind door number one!
It's a leather jacket
and a typewriter...
which you could have
used when you became...
a globe-trotting
rock-and-roll journalist.
Wow, that would've been nice.
Yeah, too bad.
All right, let's take a look
at what was behind door number two.
The U.S. Constitution,
which would come in handy...
when you became
the first woman president!
Oh, Monty,
these prizes are bitchin'!
Yeah, truly bitchin'.
Now let's take a look at what
you did choose behind door number three.
It's your boyfriend
and a promise ring!
I love you!
Hyde, when I cruise a girl...
how long do I have to talk to her
before she will French me?
That depends on what kind of girl
you're cruising for.
Which is why I'm gonna aim low.
Real low.
Just this side of gross.
Where is Michael Kelso?
I want my ring!
He's in the toilet.
Jackie, wait, wait.
Kelso wants to
give you the ring...
- but he's scared.
- Why is he scared?
Because you're scary.
No, because Kelso
is delicate, sensitive.
Girlish even.
You cannot push him into this. You gotta
be gentle. He'll do it when he's ready.
Where's my ring, you idiot?
Or yell at him.
It's more fun for us.
Look, you, I want my promise ring,
and I want it now.
Give it.
Really? Okay, just wait.
'Cause I... I just...
I wanna do this right.
Jackie...
from the first minute
that I saw you...
I knew that I wanted to
fool around with you.
And then, after we did that...
and I still wanted
to talk to you?
I knew that I never wanted
to be without you.
So...
will you accept my ring?
Yeah. Yeah, Michael, I will.
Oh, God.
I know.
Hey, what's up?
- So, how was cruising?
- Unsettling.
When a girl is in a car,
you can only see her from the neck up.
Talk about the tip
of the iceberg! Oh.
- So where's Donna?
- Ah, she said she had to study.
Oh. So everything's cool?
Okay...
Look...
I don't know what everyone
thinks is going on...
but Donna and I
are not only fine...
we're great.
Everything's
finally settled, so...
we're happier than ever.
Well, one of you is.
- What is that supposed to mean?
- Look, Forman...
I get what you're trying to do.
You know, you're trying
to lock her up, seal the deal.
And... all I'm saying is...
Maybe Donna's not
that kind of girl.
Okay, you don't know
as much as you think, Hyde.
So you need to just shut up.
Now, that man is a loof.
Hey! What are you
doing out here?
Um... I wanted to talk to you.
Look, this is gonna be hard.
Um...
Eric, I love you.
A lot.
But I have to give you
your ring back.
What? Why?
Okay...
How do you see
the next 20 years?
I don't know.
I guess I always figured...
we'd go to college together,
then come home...
Yeah, but, Eric, you know
that's not what I want.
I mean, I've told you that.
And who knows? I might want
to go to school back East.
Or... maybe in Paris.
Okay, well, you know what,
Donna, whatever. Okay?
The important thing is when you
see yourself in Paris or wherever...
I'm there, right?
Right?
I don't know.
Not always.
I mean, it's not like
there's anyone else...
but sometimes I'm by myself.
I mean... All I mean is, I don't know.
Neither of us does.
And this ring is just a stupid
high school promise.
If we're meant to be together,
then... we'll end up together.
No.
The way we end up together
is by saying we'll be together...
and then, being together.
Eric, come on.
We're together now.
Isn't that enough?
No! I mean...
I mean, damn, Donna.
If you can see a future for yourself without
me and that doesn't, like, break your heart...
then we're not doing what
I thought we were doing here.
And you know what?
Maybe we shouldn't even be together at all!
Wait a minute.
Are you breaking up with me?
Well...
are you giving back that ring?
- Yes.
- Then...
Yes.
- Leo, I... I need to return this.
- Hey, man...
I only said it was gold,
not real gold.
No, it's...
Donna and I broke up.
What?
What happened to the love, man?
Well, I don't really
feel like...
No! If you kids
can't make it, who can?
Tell me, who?
Why, God, why?
Just countin' my secret stash.
- I'm gettin' something special for Donna.
- Something special, huh?
Oh, is it firecrackers?
No.
No, no, 'cause if it's somethin'
that blows up, I'll go halfsies.
It's a promise ring.
'Cause, you know, Donna and I
have been fighting a lot lately.
Forman, you get
mushy with Donna...
she's gonna see
the secret girl inside the man.
Now, trust me, you don't
want to let Erica out.
Erica.
That's a good burn.
You can't do that
with Michael. I'm lucky.
Oh, really, Michelle?
Oh, I forgot about Michelle.
Look, Hyde obviously doesn't
understand mature relationships...
but I do.
And a promise ring is not only
a gift from the heart...
but it also means more sex
and less mouthing off.
I'm gettin' one for Jackie too!
Great. Let's go.
All right.
See you later, Hyde-a...
alicia.
What's a good
girlie name for Hyde?
Uh, Hyde...
drangea?
It's Heidi, you morons! Heidi!
Okay, is it me, or is
this not a ring store?
Will you trust me?
I know a guy who knows a guy.
He'll be here any minute.
Hey, dudes.
Leo's the guy?
Kelso, I thought you knew
a guy who knew a guy.
Yeah, I do.
But I know Leo.
Fine, so you're the guy!
So, Leo, you sell promise rings?
Promise rings, concert T's...
other stuff.
- Really?
- That's nice.
Yeah.
Okay, we'll take
two rings and...
a misdemeanor's worth
of the other stuff.
Ah, the ring of love.
Just holding it makes me feel
mellow and content.
Actually, that might
not be the ring.
Why is everybody
but Fez in love?
If I don't get some romance soon,
I'm going to give myself a blister.
Well, another blister.
Tell you what, Fez.
I'm going to take you...
cruising for chicks
in the El Camino.
And I'm gonna let
you buy the gas...
and buy my dinner.
And if we meet a chick...
I'm gonna let you walk home.
Guys, what if Jackie doesn't want
a ring from a guy like me?
I mean, sure, I'm good lookin',
but I can't be trusted.
No, you guys are
the perfect couple.
You do the bad stuff,
and she tries to catch you.
She's... Smokey to your Bandit.
God, it's like that movie
applies to everything!
I just... I wish there was a way
I could give Jackie a thing...
that wasn't actually the ring.
You know, like a... a test gift
just to see what she would say.
And then if it went bad,
I could just walk away.
Hey, am I talking in rhyme?
I wish I could do that
all the time.
Oh! Oh, man!
That was fun, huh?
It was a good movie.
It was one of those love movies
like you like, huh?
And who took ya?
This guy.
- Yeah, it was great.
- You know what else this guy did for ya?
Got you a present.
"To Donna. Love, This Guy."
Yeah. That's me.
Oh, my God!
It's a promise ring.
Eric, it's... it's beautiful.
I'm so glad you like it.
'Cause look...
- even though things have been a little weird lately...
- Oh!
Look how cute on the car!
Here, look what Eric got me!
Oh, my! Red, go get the camera.
- Kitty...
- Mom, I...
Go! It's in the drawer
near the cheese grater.
Mom... No.
Hush. Donna, now...
make the face you made
when Eric gave you the ring.
Oh, now, see, I don't think
you rolled your eyes!
Kitty...
I cut myself on
the cheese grater.
Oh, now you get back here
and smile, damn it!
Can you believe it?
- Isn't it pretty?
- Yeah.
I really need to introduce you
to my good friend nail polish.
And a promise ring
is sacred, Donna.
- Why aren't you wearing it on your left ring finger?
- I don't know.
'Cause I like it on this finger.
What's the difference?
Donna, if you don't wear your
promise ring on your left ring finger...
it totally cancels out the promise
that you will be together forever.
Wait. That's what I promised?
Hey, ladies.
Oh, nice ring, Donna.
Jackie, let me see yours.
- I don't have one.
- Oh, no, of course not.
Because Kelso has not
given you one yet.
I mean, ever. I mean...
Look away.
Donna, did you hear that?
Michael's giving me a promise ring.
- Yeah, that's great.
- I wonder how he's gonna give it to me.
I hope he hides it in food.
I told him if he ever
gives me something nice...
he should put it in food.
It's classy.
All right, man, be cool.
These chicks
are checking us out.
Cool, gotcha.
Hello, ladies!
No, man, that's not
how you do it.
You gotta be aloof.
Did you just call me a "loof"?
Because if so,
I'll have to kick you in your 'nads.
No, man. Aloof.
Distant.
Zen.
Well, that's not what
loof means in my language.
Look, I don't care what you think it means,
that's what it means here.
You're the loof.
- Fez, it's not...
- I said loof!
Hey, sweetie.
I got you something.
It's a gift.
A token of my love.
- Do you accept it?
- A sundae?
Oh.
Yeah.
Mmm! Michael, this is good.
Uh...
You could, uh...
Uh, y-you could close your mouth
if you... if you wanted.
What the hell, Michael?
This is ice cream.
Stupid ice cream?
No, it's stupid
ice cream of love.
Oh, there you are.
The movie's about to start.
Come on. We're...
- Where's your ring?
- Oh, I put it on a chain so I could wear it around my neck.
Burn!
Oh, super burn.
The wedding's off!
Kelso, shut up!
Yeah, Michael, you don't know
anything about anything.
I do too!
Now I don't know
which fight's the funniest.
Wait, fight? We're...
Okay, I'll be right back.
Donna, why aren't you wearing
the ring... on your hand?
I don't know. I didn't think
it was a big deal.
That is not true! I told you.
I told her it was a big deal.
Look, Eric, why don't we
talk about this later?
Well, I... You know, there's not really
anything to talk about.
Unless... you don't
wanna wear the ring.
Ouch!
Sorry. I'm sorry.
It's great. The ring is great.
See?
- It's great.
- So we're good?
Yeah, fine.
Okay, good.
It's my God-given
right as a mother!
Oh, Mrs. Forman,
that is a wonderful picture.
You can really see
how unhappy Donna is.
Okay, all I know is...
when Donna said she was fine,
she didn't seem that fine.
Eric has never been good at knowing
when fine isn't fine.
It runs in the family.
Oh, it does not.
- Fine.
- Okay, good.
I don't know.
She doesn't look that unhappy.
She kinda looks like you.
I'm unhappy, Bob.
I'm just so worried
about Eric and Donna.
Ah, fine.
Welcome to Let's Make A Deal!
All right, Donna,
which is it going to be...
your future behind door number one,
door number two...
or door number three?
Oh, my God! I don't know! Um...
- Okay.
- Yeah?
- Door number three.
- Door number three.
All right, let's take a look at what you
didn't choose behind door number one!
It's a leather jacket
and a typewriter...
which you could have
used when you became...
a globe-trotting
rock-and-roll journalist.
Wow, that would've been nice.
Yeah, too bad.
All right, let's take a look
at what was behind door number two.
The U.S. Constitution,
which would come in handy...
when you became
the first woman president!
Oh, Monty,
these prizes are bitchin'!
Yeah, truly bitchin'.
Now let's take a look at what
you did choose behind door number three.
It's your boyfriend
and a promise ring!
I love you!
Hyde, when I cruise a girl...
how long do I have to talk to her
before she will French me?
That depends on what kind of girl
you're cruising for.
Which is why I'm gonna aim low.
Real low.
Just this side of gross.
Where is Michael Kelso?
I want my ring!
He's in the toilet.
Jackie, wait, wait.
Kelso wants to
give you the ring...
- but he's scared.
- Why is he scared?
Because you're scary.
No, because Kelso
is delicate, sensitive.
Girlish even.
You cannot push him into this. You gotta
be gentle. He'll do it when he's ready.
Where's my ring, you idiot?
Or yell at him.
It's more fun for us.
Look, you, I want my promise ring,
and I want it now.
Give it.
Really? Okay, just wait.
'Cause I... I just...
I wanna do this right.
Jackie...
from the first minute
that I saw you...
I knew that I wanted to
fool around with you.
And then, after we did that...
and I still wanted
to talk to you?
I knew that I never wanted
to be without you.
So...
will you accept my ring?
Yeah. Yeah, Michael, I will.
Oh, God.
I know.
Hey, what's up?
- So, how was cruising?
- Unsettling.
When a girl is in a car,
you can only see her from the neck up.
Talk about the tip
of the iceberg! Oh.
- So where's Donna?
- Ah, she said she had to study.
Oh. So everything's cool?
Okay...
Look...
I don't know what everyone
thinks is going on...
but Donna and I
are not only fine...
we're great.
Everything's
finally settled, so...
we're happier than ever.
Well, one of you is.
- What is that supposed to mean?
- Look, Forman...
I get what you're trying to do.
You know, you're trying
to lock her up, seal the deal.
And... all I'm saying is...
Maybe Donna's not
that kind of girl.
Okay, you don't know
as much as you think, Hyde.
So you need to just shut up.
Now, that man is a loof.
Hey! What are you
doing out here?
Um... I wanted to talk to you.
Look, this is gonna be hard.
Um...
Eric, I love you.
A lot.
But I have to give you
your ring back.
What? Why?
Okay...
How do you see
the next 20 years?
I don't know.
I guess I always figured...
we'd go to college together,
then come home...
Yeah, but, Eric, you know
that's not what I want.
I mean, I've told you that.
And who knows? I might want
to go to school back East.
Or... maybe in Paris.
Okay, well, you know what,
Donna, whatever. Okay?
The important thing is when you
see yourself in Paris or wherever...
I'm there, right?
Right?
I don't know.
Not always.
I mean, it's not like
there's anyone else...
but sometimes I'm by myself.
I mean... All I mean is, I don't know.
Neither of us does.
And this ring is just a stupid
high school promise.
If we're meant to be together,
then... we'll end up together.
No.
The way we end up together
is by saying we'll be together...
and then, being together.
Eric, come on.
We're together now.
Isn't that enough?
No! I mean...
I mean, damn, Donna.
If you can see a future for yourself without
me and that doesn't, like, break your heart...
then we're not doing what
I thought we were doing here.
And you know what?
Maybe we shouldn't even be together at all!
Wait a minute.
Are you breaking up with me?
Well...
are you giving back that ring?
- Yes.
- Then...
Yes.
- Leo, I... I need to return this.
- Hey, man...
I only said it was gold,
not real gold.
No, it's...
Donna and I broke up.
What?
What happened to the love, man?
Well, I don't really
feel like...
No! If you kids
can't make it, who can?
Tell me, who?
Why, God, why?