Testees (2008): Season 1, Episode 2 - Pill for Men - full transcript
After suffering an unexpected loss in the pants department, Ron and Peter see if they have what it takes to be women.
Tingles
If you ignore all the electric wiresrunning
into your penis
I'm sure it's for a good cause,
Some scientific research
that will better the world some how.
Maybe it's an experiment
to study how stupid two
people can actually be
to allow this to happen.
It's not that bad.
We get paid to lie back
and get our wiener zapped.
Doesn't it bother you Ron
that we're lying 6 feet
away from the machine blasting
radioactive gamma rays at us
and the only part of our bodies
not protected is our balls ?
Never really
wanted kids anyway.
I should have booked
another flight
just to get to your car.
- Why are you even here dad ?
You told me yesterday that
you finally had a job so I
came out here to see for myself.
- I did ?
I mean, yeah, yeah, I do.
Now you listen sonny boy,
I just want to see your face
when I find out you
bull shitted me again.
Do you feel any different ?
I don't know, maybe
a little top heavy.
Sweet jesus !
Oh my god !
Look at you.
I have breasts.
What have they done to me ?
Come on !
My dick is gone.
You bastard.
The affects are temporary.
How can they be temporary ?
My penis is gone.
Your penis'aren't gone, we
just reduced the size of them.
Why ?
It's an experimental gender
reassignment procedure.
As sex change.
I didn't want a sex change.
It's not a true
sex change.
Your male anatomy is still
intact, just modified.
Modified how ?
By cutting off the blood
supply and exposing it to
massive levels
of radiation.
We managed to
shrink the penis.
Then using those nerve
endings
we've created a fully realized clitoris
anby stretching and
expanding the urethra. We've created
a simulation of a vaginal cavity.
Gross.
Can you change us back ?
it's reversible.
All it will be is a grueling
6 hour surgical marathon.
So now we know what
happened to our schlongs.
What about these tits ?
That's glandular swelling
from the radiation.
Unexpected, but it does
complete the look.
What look, circus freak ?
- Change us back.
- In 72 hours.
When I was a child my mom
used to dress me as a girl.
I was in therapy for years.
This is not a good thing for me.
You signed up
for this job.
Take it like a man.
It just looks so weird.
like gushy.
- Does yours have flaps too ?
- Flaps ?
Like beef curtains ?
Mine looks like a
pastrami sandwich.
I'm going to go
shave my... my pussy.
You're going to shave your pussy ? Maybe
a little landing strip or something
You could cut yourself,
its dangerous Ron.
- Let me do it for you.
- I'm good,
- I'll be in the shower.
- You sure ? I don't mind.
Come on, where are you ?
Honey ?
Have a situation here.
Pete, what do you want ?
nothing.
Look how erect my nipples
got in the shower.
That is so cool.
Let me dry them for you.
Its okay, I've got it.
Hey I was thinking,
maybe it's not such a bad thing.
I had a carrot
stuck in my vagina.
So guess what Kate,
my dad's in town,
he's going to come by
the bar later tonight.
I'm so excited for you
to finally meet him.
- No what ?
- No, whatever it is, no !
- I didn't ask anything.
- Let me guess.
You want me to go along with
some lame ass story that you made up
to impress your father.
Maybe.
please.
No, I'm not going to do it.
Kate, my dad
thinks I'm a loser.
Really ?
Yeah, he does.
He also thinks I'm queer.
I need to pretend I'm
running this bar.
Why not just pretend
that you're an adult ?
My whole life I've
bull shitted my old man
and he's called me on everything
and I just one time, just this time
I want to be able to trick him,
lie to him and
get away with it.
You're so twisted and sad.
I know.
Please ?
But only for one night and
you don't touch anything behind the bar.
- Got it ?
- Got it.
Hi guys.
- You guys...
- What ?
- Have tits.
- And guess what we don't have ?
- Bras.
- Balls.
- We're chicks.
- This is impossible. I mean how ?
Another wonderful
Testico experiment.
- And they're only temporary.
- It's incredible.
You guys are girls.
We are going to
have so much fun.
Fun ?
What did you have in mind ?
Hello sir.
Scotch ?
Rocks or ice ?
That's a bottle of peppermint
schnapps you ninny.
Good eye.
The man knows
his scotches.
So this is your bar ?
Yeah, it's not
much but I like it.
Went for the'tears'thing.
- Yes Charles,
I can see your personality
shing through here.
It's for the clients dad,
they really dig the vibe.
Oh, vibe.
What are those stupid things
on the wall supposed to be ?
Amoebas.
- Maybe tears.
- Whatever you want dad.
- You want me to keep going idiot ?
- Sure.
- This isn't your goddamn bar.
- It is. I'm the proprietor.
You just happened to
get a half a million bucks,
open a homo bar and
never mentioned it before ?
This is, this
is beautiful.
This is worth the
trip you know,
seeing you stew in your
bold face lies again.
You know the only pleasure
you give me boy is letting me pull
the rug out from
under you over and over again.
You don't have a fancy
loft being fumigated or a
Or a boat in dry dock
Or a hot girlfriend who happens to
be out of town.
Look you can't fool your old man.
You never could.
- I do have a girlfriend.
- Here we go again.
Its true dad and her
parents love me.
We're thinking of
tying the knot.
This is pure gold.
- Now I guess I'm going to meet her.
- Of course, eventually.
She's really busy.
Tell you what ; you know,
you need me to disappear,
give you some time to geta hooker
or put a wig on a
penguin or something ?
Everybody, say hello to
Rhonda and Patricia.
Actually as a matter
of fact, here she is now.
Dad, meet... my fiance
and her friends.
We're her friends.
Say hi to dad.
I'll have that schnapps now.
Make it a double.
Patricia, how long have
you been dating Charles ?
Who's Charles ?
Such a kidder.
I gotta go to the can.
You can sort out your
stories while I'm gone.
- Way to go. Nice one.
- I've had enough.
I've had my free steak, I'm leaving.
You're not going anywhere. I need you
to convince my dad.
- Your dad is anasshole Charles.
- I know
Besides I've got bigger issues
to deal with,
like this whole
woman thing.
Please Peter, don't go.
I'm leaving.
I'm tired, I'm moody,
and I'm getting really bad
cramps in my groin.
Oh jesus, I think
I need a tampon.
Where'd Miss America go ?
She's a Dr. so there was an
emergency at the hospital.
She's a Dr.
What kind of Dr. what
does she specialize in ?
Oh you know, the regular
stuff, spinal cords.
And she never
mentioned it.
You'd think she'd want her
future father in law to
know that she's
a spinal surgeon ?
That's why I love her.
I got tell you this,
she's bony, scraggly,
saggy tits and
she's got a beard.
It reminds me of your mother
when she was young.
Mom ?
I'll give you $1,000 if you get her
to bone me in my hotel room.
That's disgusting.
That's my fiance
you're talking about.
Bullshit.
What do you take me for ?
I'm offended that you
think I'd let you bone
the woman of my
dreams for $1,000.
Do you want the
money or not ?
Okay. Deal.
Okay, thank you.
Kate, this sucks.
I got creeps all over me,
groping my ass and perfect tits.
I'm glad you
finally get it.
Men are pigs.
Let them buy you a couple
of drinks, smile at them,
pretend you want to blow
them and then you just
sneak away at the
end of the night.
You know what, I don't
want to flirt with dudes,
I want to flirt with
hot chicks like us.
It sounds like
you're a lesbian Rhonda.
I am a lesbian.
You know what, I know
a couple of lesbians.
Let's just have a dyke
night at the bar.
Oh my god, this
is my dream.
I'm going to be part
of a dyke night.
Oh my god, I'm going to
finally bang a lesbian.
No way Nugget.
Are you sick ? Never !
I am not having sex with your dad.
I can't believe
you're even asking.
Dude, we're
talking about $800.
- We'll split it. It's no big deal.
- No big deal Nugget ?
You're pimping me
out to your father.
And even if I were crazy
enough to want to, I can't.
I think I'm on my period.
Oh gross.
What's the string for ?
I don't know but look
I made a nunchucks.
See ?
Look I have a plan.
Boy, I can't wait
to hear this.
- I have a roofie, we'll drug him.
- Why do you have a roofie Nugget ?
In case I'm having an enchanted
evening with a special lady.
Men are such pigs.
My old man has a
scotch every night.
You'll chit chat, drop
the roofie in his drink,
he'll pass out, get
naked, put him to bed,
wake up in the morning, tell him
he was great.
- $400.
- Why am I only getting half ?
He's my dad.
I negotiated the deal.
- He only wanted to pay $200.
- That bastard.
- What does he think ? I'm a cheap whore ?
- That's what I said.
My friend is not street hooker.
Thank you Nugget. I'm not.
You're a classy whore
worth at least $380.
$380.
What happened to $400 ?
I gotta charge
you $20 for the roofie.
I'm just a simple girl.
Just give me an old
fashioned double ended
dildo any day of the week
and Bob's your Uncle.
Rhonda, how long
you been a lesbian ?
- Been into chicks all my life.
- Love em.
Guys are stupid.
They're dinks smell like
old bologna sandwiches.
Oh my god, that
is so true.
Ladies, this is Angela.
Angela, the girls.
- Love your hair.
- Thanks.
This seat taken ?
But this one's available.
Please sit down.
Sit down please.
I'm just going to go
off to the men's room.
Love it.
- That's my ex-girlfriend.
- What ? She's a lesbian.
I didn't know
she dated guys.
I heard she was lesbo
but I never believed it.
Can't believe she
didn't recognize me.
Oh my gosh, if you do her,
that would be amazing.
That would be one of the greatest
lesbian sex stories of all time.
You have to bang her.
- Just keeps the drinks coming.
- Go !
- Hi big boy.
- Well it took you long enough.
Did you scrub your cleage ?
Well you are a
smooth talker.
- Do you have the money ?
- Oh, I paid Charles, he pays you.
Fine, I could sure use a drink and I bet
you could use one too.
Scotch ?
No, come on, no need
to dilly dally...
Oh, how many kids you got ?
I really think we should
have that drink first.
- I don't think so.
Get your hands off me !
You got spunk.
I like that.
Jesus...
Jesus can't save you now honey bee.
Come on ?
Sick... get your
hands of...
- Wade !
- Phyllis !
You bastard !
Not again ?
- This is a business associate.
- Bullshit Wade, you're such a liar.
Mrs. Nugget, this is really
not what it looks like.
She's not even attractive.
She's hideous.
Hideous ?
- That's a bit harsh.
- Get out whore.
Go back to your gutter.
I'm sorry.
I have a legendary
toy collection.
Oh really.
I love using toys too.
You do ?
What's your favorite ?
Oh, so many... the big...
fist and the rubber big giant
black... what about you ?
I love anything that
vibrates and I love a girl
who knows how to
use it properly.
I know how to
use a vibrator.
Guys have no clue how
to please a chick.
I wouldn't know,
I've never been with one.
You're so lucky. There's a few guys
I wish I'd never been with
I'll bet.
Were they all bad or, you
know... anyone in particular ?
Most of them were okay.
This one guy, Rob
or Ron something,
he had no idea where
the clitoris was.
I've never faked so many
orgasms in all my life.
My god, sounds
like a total loser.
- Was he good looking or something ?
- Not at all.
He was scrawny weakling.
He had a tiny dick, small hands,
these big buggy eyes...
Oh really.
Must have been something
cool about him.
No, he basically turned
me into a lesbian.
I don't want
to talk about him.
It turns me off just
thinking about him.
Yeah, me too.
Let's get naked.
Vagin-o-mite.
I feel so dirty.
You still on the rag ?
I can't have a period
because I don't have ovaries.
So what about
the bleeding ?
Apparently you're not supposed to stick
a carrot in your urethra.
That's good to know.
I've been a woman for
one day and I'm a slut.
Yeah, way to go.
Broke up my parent's 50-year marriage.
I'm a worse woman
than I am a man.
How did I ever
agree to this ?
I mean was it really worth it
for a measly few hundred bucks ?
Ask yourself that question.
Speaking of which, you
still owe me the money.
It's not my fault your mom showed up.
I don't have it.
The deal was you wake up nude
next to my dad, we get the cash,
quid quo pro.
By the way you still owe
me $20 for the roofie.
You are
a sleaze ball.
- What are you trying to say ?
- Get my money
Or I'll tell your mom you sent me
to sleep with your dad.
Where's Rhonda ?
- Banging a lesbian.
- What ?
I've been getting groped by Nugget's
sleazy dad and he's out boning lesbos ?
I want to bone a lesbo.
Greatest sexual
experience of my life !
Oh my god !
I think I'm still coming !
- That's great.
- Oh god, incredible.
I just cannot believe
how many times I came.
Oh god, that never happens...
I usually have one.
Oh my...
How many orgasms did you have ?
- None actually.
- What ?
Why not ?
I don't know. I guess
I wasn't really that into it.
Are you kidding ? You didn't like the
thing that I was doing ?
The tongue action ?
Honestly, you were kind of
too slobbery and
you rushed it.
I mean you're a woman,
you should know where my g-spot is.
- I was going to get to it eventually.
- You were terrible.
Come on ?
Was I ?
So bad I don't want to
be a lesbian anymore.
You gotta be kidding me.
You just... you turned me off
women, okay.
Thanks to you I'm
going back to guys.
You almost woke up
twice last night.
My tushy hurts.
Can I have my
butt plug back ?
If you ignore all the electric wiresrunning
into your penis
I'm sure it's for a good cause,
Some scientific research
that will better the world some how.
Maybe it's an experiment
to study how stupid two
people can actually be
to allow this to happen.
It's not that bad.
We get paid to lie back
and get our wiener zapped.
Doesn't it bother you Ron
that we're lying 6 feet
away from the machine blasting
radioactive gamma rays at us
and the only part of our bodies
not protected is our balls ?
Never really
wanted kids anyway.
I should have booked
another flight
just to get to your car.
- Why are you even here dad ?
You told me yesterday that
you finally had a job so I
came out here to see for myself.
- I did ?
I mean, yeah, yeah, I do.
Now you listen sonny boy,
I just want to see your face
when I find out you
bull shitted me again.
Do you feel any different ?
I don't know, maybe
a little top heavy.
Sweet jesus !
Oh my god !
Look at you.
I have breasts.
What have they done to me ?
Come on !
My dick is gone.
You bastard.
The affects are temporary.
How can they be temporary ?
My penis is gone.
Your penis'aren't gone, we
just reduced the size of them.
Why ?
It's an experimental gender
reassignment procedure.
As sex change.
I didn't want a sex change.
It's not a true
sex change.
Your male anatomy is still
intact, just modified.
Modified how ?
By cutting off the blood
supply and exposing it to
massive levels
of radiation.
We managed to
shrink the penis.
Then using those nerve
endings
we've created a fully realized clitoris
anby stretching and
expanding the urethra. We've created
a simulation of a vaginal cavity.
Gross.
Can you change us back ?
it's reversible.
All it will be is a grueling
6 hour surgical marathon.
So now we know what
happened to our schlongs.
What about these tits ?
That's glandular swelling
from the radiation.
Unexpected, but it does
complete the look.
What look, circus freak ?
- Change us back.
- In 72 hours.
When I was a child my mom
used to dress me as a girl.
I was in therapy for years.
This is not a good thing for me.
You signed up
for this job.
Take it like a man.
It just looks so weird.
like gushy.
- Does yours have flaps too ?
- Flaps ?
Like beef curtains ?
Mine looks like a
pastrami sandwich.
I'm going to go
shave my... my pussy.
You're going to shave your pussy ? Maybe
a little landing strip or something
You could cut yourself,
its dangerous Ron.
- Let me do it for you.
- I'm good,
- I'll be in the shower.
- You sure ? I don't mind.
Come on, where are you ?
Honey ?
Have a situation here.
Pete, what do you want ?
nothing.
Look how erect my nipples
got in the shower.
That is so cool.
Let me dry them for you.
Its okay, I've got it.
Hey I was thinking,
maybe it's not such a bad thing.
I had a carrot
stuck in my vagina.
So guess what Kate,
my dad's in town,
he's going to come by
the bar later tonight.
I'm so excited for you
to finally meet him.
- No what ?
- No, whatever it is, no !
- I didn't ask anything.
- Let me guess.
You want me to go along with
some lame ass story that you made up
to impress your father.
Maybe.
please.
No, I'm not going to do it.
Kate, my dad
thinks I'm a loser.
Really ?
Yeah, he does.
He also thinks I'm queer.
I need to pretend I'm
running this bar.
Why not just pretend
that you're an adult ?
My whole life I've
bull shitted my old man
and he's called me on everything
and I just one time, just this time
I want to be able to trick him,
lie to him and
get away with it.
You're so twisted and sad.
I know.
Please ?
But only for one night and
you don't touch anything behind the bar.
- Got it ?
- Got it.
Hi guys.
- You guys...
- What ?
- Have tits.
- And guess what we don't have ?
- Bras.
- Balls.
- We're chicks.
- This is impossible. I mean how ?
Another wonderful
Testico experiment.
- And they're only temporary.
- It's incredible.
You guys are girls.
We are going to
have so much fun.
Fun ?
What did you have in mind ?
Hello sir.
Scotch ?
Rocks or ice ?
That's a bottle of peppermint
schnapps you ninny.
Good eye.
The man knows
his scotches.
So this is your bar ?
Yeah, it's not
much but I like it.
Went for the'tears'thing.
- Yes Charles,
I can see your personality
shing through here.
It's for the clients dad,
they really dig the vibe.
Oh, vibe.
What are those stupid things
on the wall supposed to be ?
Amoebas.
- Maybe tears.
- Whatever you want dad.
- You want me to keep going idiot ?
- Sure.
- This isn't your goddamn bar.
- It is. I'm the proprietor.
You just happened to
get a half a million bucks,
open a homo bar and
never mentioned it before ?
This is, this
is beautiful.
This is worth the
trip you know,
seeing you stew in your
bold face lies again.
You know the only pleasure
you give me boy is letting me pull
the rug out from
under you over and over again.
You don't have a fancy
loft being fumigated or a
Or a boat in dry dock
Or a hot girlfriend who happens to
be out of town.
Look you can't fool your old man.
You never could.
- I do have a girlfriend.
- Here we go again.
Its true dad and her
parents love me.
We're thinking of
tying the knot.
This is pure gold.
- Now I guess I'm going to meet her.
- Of course, eventually.
She's really busy.
Tell you what ; you know,
you need me to disappear,
give you some time to geta hooker
or put a wig on a
penguin or something ?
Everybody, say hello to
Rhonda and Patricia.
Actually as a matter
of fact, here she is now.
Dad, meet... my fiance
and her friends.
We're her friends.
Say hi to dad.
I'll have that schnapps now.
Make it a double.
Patricia, how long have
you been dating Charles ?
Who's Charles ?
Such a kidder.
I gotta go to the can.
You can sort out your
stories while I'm gone.
- Way to go. Nice one.
- I've had enough.
I've had my free steak, I'm leaving.
You're not going anywhere. I need you
to convince my dad.
- Your dad is anasshole Charles.
- I know
Besides I've got bigger issues
to deal with,
like this whole
woman thing.
Please Peter, don't go.
I'm leaving.
I'm tired, I'm moody,
and I'm getting really bad
cramps in my groin.
Oh jesus, I think
I need a tampon.
Where'd Miss America go ?
She's a Dr. so there was an
emergency at the hospital.
She's a Dr.
What kind of Dr. what
does she specialize in ?
Oh you know, the regular
stuff, spinal cords.
And she never
mentioned it.
You'd think she'd want her
future father in law to
know that she's
a spinal surgeon ?
That's why I love her.
I got tell you this,
she's bony, scraggly,
saggy tits and
she's got a beard.
It reminds me of your mother
when she was young.
Mom ?
I'll give you $1,000 if you get her
to bone me in my hotel room.
That's disgusting.
That's my fiance
you're talking about.
Bullshit.
What do you take me for ?
I'm offended that you
think I'd let you bone
the woman of my
dreams for $1,000.
Do you want the
money or not ?
Okay. Deal.
Okay, thank you.
Kate, this sucks.
I got creeps all over me,
groping my ass and perfect tits.
I'm glad you
finally get it.
Men are pigs.
Let them buy you a couple
of drinks, smile at them,
pretend you want to blow
them and then you just
sneak away at the
end of the night.
You know what, I don't
want to flirt with dudes,
I want to flirt with
hot chicks like us.
It sounds like
you're a lesbian Rhonda.
I am a lesbian.
You know what, I know
a couple of lesbians.
Let's just have a dyke
night at the bar.
Oh my god, this
is my dream.
I'm going to be part
of a dyke night.
Oh my god, I'm going to
finally bang a lesbian.
No way Nugget.
Are you sick ? Never !
I am not having sex with your dad.
I can't believe
you're even asking.
Dude, we're
talking about $800.
- We'll split it. It's no big deal.
- No big deal Nugget ?
You're pimping me
out to your father.
And even if I were crazy
enough to want to, I can't.
I think I'm on my period.
Oh gross.
What's the string for ?
I don't know but look
I made a nunchucks.
See ?
Look I have a plan.
Boy, I can't wait
to hear this.
- I have a roofie, we'll drug him.
- Why do you have a roofie Nugget ?
In case I'm having an enchanted
evening with a special lady.
Men are such pigs.
My old man has a
scotch every night.
You'll chit chat, drop
the roofie in his drink,
he'll pass out, get
naked, put him to bed,
wake up in the morning, tell him
he was great.
- $400.
- Why am I only getting half ?
He's my dad.
I negotiated the deal.
- He only wanted to pay $200.
- That bastard.
- What does he think ? I'm a cheap whore ?
- That's what I said.
My friend is not street hooker.
Thank you Nugget. I'm not.
You're a classy whore
worth at least $380.
$380.
What happened to $400 ?
I gotta charge
you $20 for the roofie.
I'm just a simple girl.
Just give me an old
fashioned double ended
dildo any day of the week
and Bob's your Uncle.
Rhonda, how long
you been a lesbian ?
- Been into chicks all my life.
- Love em.
Guys are stupid.
They're dinks smell like
old bologna sandwiches.
Oh my god, that
is so true.
Ladies, this is Angela.
Angela, the girls.
- Love your hair.
- Thanks.
This seat taken ?
But this one's available.
Please sit down.
Sit down please.
I'm just going to go
off to the men's room.
Love it.
- That's my ex-girlfriend.
- What ? She's a lesbian.
I didn't know
she dated guys.
I heard she was lesbo
but I never believed it.
Can't believe she
didn't recognize me.
Oh my gosh, if you do her,
that would be amazing.
That would be one of the greatest
lesbian sex stories of all time.
You have to bang her.
- Just keeps the drinks coming.
- Go !
- Hi big boy.
- Well it took you long enough.
Did you scrub your cleage ?
Well you are a
smooth talker.
- Do you have the money ?
- Oh, I paid Charles, he pays you.
Fine, I could sure use a drink and I bet
you could use one too.
Scotch ?
No, come on, no need
to dilly dally...
Oh, how many kids you got ?
I really think we should
have that drink first.
- I don't think so.
Get your hands off me !
You got spunk.
I like that.
Jesus...
Jesus can't save you now honey bee.
Come on ?
Sick... get your
hands of...
- Wade !
- Phyllis !
You bastard !
Not again ?
- This is a business associate.
- Bullshit Wade, you're such a liar.
Mrs. Nugget, this is really
not what it looks like.
She's not even attractive.
She's hideous.
Hideous ?
- That's a bit harsh.
- Get out whore.
Go back to your gutter.
I'm sorry.
I have a legendary
toy collection.
Oh really.
I love using toys too.
You do ?
What's your favorite ?
Oh, so many... the big...
fist and the rubber big giant
black... what about you ?
I love anything that
vibrates and I love a girl
who knows how to
use it properly.
I know how to
use a vibrator.
Guys have no clue how
to please a chick.
I wouldn't know,
I've never been with one.
You're so lucky. There's a few guys
I wish I'd never been with
I'll bet.
Were they all bad or, you
know... anyone in particular ?
Most of them were okay.
This one guy, Rob
or Ron something,
he had no idea where
the clitoris was.
I've never faked so many
orgasms in all my life.
My god, sounds
like a total loser.
- Was he good looking or something ?
- Not at all.
He was scrawny weakling.
He had a tiny dick, small hands,
these big buggy eyes...
Oh really.
Must have been something
cool about him.
No, he basically turned
me into a lesbian.
I don't want
to talk about him.
It turns me off just
thinking about him.
Yeah, me too.
Let's get naked.
Vagin-o-mite.
I feel so dirty.
You still on the rag ?
I can't have a period
because I don't have ovaries.
So what about
the bleeding ?
Apparently you're not supposed to stick
a carrot in your urethra.
That's good to know.
I've been a woman for
one day and I'm a slut.
Yeah, way to go.
Broke up my parent's 50-year marriage.
I'm a worse woman
than I am a man.
How did I ever
agree to this ?
I mean was it really worth it
for a measly few hundred bucks ?
Ask yourself that question.
Speaking of which, you
still owe me the money.
It's not my fault your mom showed up.
I don't have it.
The deal was you wake up nude
next to my dad, we get the cash,
quid quo pro.
By the way you still owe
me $20 for the roofie.
You are
a sleaze ball.
- What are you trying to say ?
- Get my money
Or I'll tell your mom you sent me
to sleep with your dad.
Where's Rhonda ?
- Banging a lesbian.
- What ?
I've been getting groped by Nugget's
sleazy dad and he's out boning lesbos ?
I want to bone a lesbo.
Greatest sexual
experience of my life !
Oh my god !
I think I'm still coming !
- That's great.
- Oh god, incredible.
I just cannot believe
how many times I came.
Oh god, that never happens...
I usually have one.
Oh my...
How many orgasms did you have ?
- None actually.
- What ?
Why not ?
I don't know. I guess
I wasn't really that into it.
Are you kidding ? You didn't like the
thing that I was doing ?
The tongue action ?
Honestly, you were kind of
too slobbery and
you rushed it.
I mean you're a woman,
you should know where my g-spot is.
- I was going to get to it eventually.
- You were terrible.
Come on ?
Was I ?
So bad I don't want to
be a lesbian anymore.
You gotta be kidding me.
You just... you turned me off
women, okay.
Thanks to you I'm
going back to guys.
You almost woke up
twice last night.
My tushy hurts.
Can I have my
butt plug back ?