Testees (2008): Season 1, Episode 10 - Mr. Pain and Danger Lad - full transcript
Ron and Peter lose the ability to feel pain and the doctors warn them to be careful.
bald spot.
What the hell!
Wait a minute,
I didn't feel anything.
Me neither, I
felt... nothing.
Excellent.
It works.
subsBusters proudly presents
s01e10
Nothing.
We gave you a very powerful
experimental pain killer.
It was developed as an
alternative to anesthesia.
Doctor's can perform
surgery on patients while
they're still awake.
This is the best drug
we've ever tested.
Hey, maybe now you won't
be such a big pussy.
You're the pussy.
Quiet!
This is a one-week supply.
Take two a day, monitor
yourselves and you
shouldn't feel a thing.
What's so funny?
I just ripped this
out of your head,
you didn't even notice.
Ron, my hair.
Hey.
This is
unbelievable.
I know I feel
like a superhero.
We should join the UFC.
I do not advise that.
Why not?
Pain is your body's
warning system.
Without it you could do
yourself serious damage.
We should probably
quarantine the two of you
for the duration.
Quarantine? No way!
Well Ron maybe it's
not such a bad idea.
We'd be safe.
Don't worry, we'll
be very careful.
This is what I'm
talking about.
My first wool sweater
on my bare skin.
I could never wear them before
because they're too itchy.
Big deal, it's
a sweater, Pete.
Oh, my friend this is
not just a sweater.
This is an Irish
Erin sweater.
Pure wool.
You want me to
call the press?
Don't try and pretend this
isn't the nicest sweater
you've ever seen
in your life Ron?
- Okay
- I look rugged.
Like Robert Redford.
Okay, enough already.
We don't feel any pain.
We're basically got superpowers
and you're sweater shopping.
- Superpowers?
- Yeah
Are you saying that we
should go help people?
No, I'm saying we should use
our powers to go get laid.
Okay stop there!
Damn it, you
have caught me.
For you ladies
and for you...
What
are you doing?
What, don't be
such a baby,
you can't feel anything.
So how would you like it?
Oh yeah?
Oh hey, hey ladies,
where you going?
I'm a hero.
Dinner?
Yeah and I'm a bad ass
but comfy criminal.
Very impressive.
Thank you.
You enjoyed our show?
I loved it.
You've know idea how many
pussies come into my store and
then cry like little babies
when I tattoo or pierce them.
Tattoos, what a joke.
I love pain.
Oh yeah.
I love pain.
We can take whatever
you can dish out.
Well you've come
to the right place.
Step into my parlor boys.
Excuse me, excuse me.
What do you want?
Would you like to buy
some chocolate bars...
for the deaf children?
What?
Would you like to buy some
chocolate bars for the
deaf children?
Yeah sure, I'll
take 20 kid.
20?
That's awesome.
You lying sack of
shit, you're not deaf.
Okay look, I'm sorry
Mr. but no one buys
chocolates when I say it's
for new soccer uniforms.
Soccer uniforms.
I used to use that
one when I was a kid.
You obviously
like chocolates.
What are you
trying to say?
Can you please just buy
some and help me out?
How much?
$10.
$10, what, are
you high on acid?
I can get a case of this
junk in China town for $8. 50.
Besides it's not
even real chocolate.
It's made with palm oil.
Not cocoa
butter, you goof.
Go and try and con
some other sucker.
Ass hole.
Damn, didn't wince once.
A deal's a deal.
Tatoo is free.
All right, this tattoo is
going to get me so laid.
Now if you get one of
those gay ass shirts with
the back exposed to show
everyone how cool you are
for getting a tattoo.
Yeah hey, you should get the
same one Pete, we'll match.
We can start
a tattoo gang.
I don't know.
I don't think I'm a
tattoo type of guy.
So, try a piercing.
I love giving the needle
to a man who can take it.
These are very
big earrings.
I was thinking I could
just get a little stud.
These aren't
for your ears.
My nose?
- Tongue?
- No.
Oh no... I don't
want a nipple ring.
I just got this new wool
sweater and it'll get caught...
It's a Prince Albert.
It's for your penis.
Nasty.
Go for it.
Come on, really?
Why would I want
one of those?
Because it's the ultimate
pleasure for women.
What woman would want
that thing in her?
Me.
I love them... the
bigger the better.
Oh yeah?
Mhm.
Well what's your biggest?
Oh now you're talking.
Go Pete.
Show who the boss is.
This is Vlad, the impaler.
Cool, I dare
you to get that.
Vlad me.
I don't know what
you're worried about;
I mean you go on
lots of dates.
Yeah, but you know how
they always end up for me.
We get along fine, we have
a great time and then I
try to close the deal and
they just want to be friends.
They never see
me as... sexual.
True, but I mean
it's not even a date.
She basically said come
back to the tattoo shop
and she'll let
you impale her.
No, she said she was going
to take care of my piercing.
Maybe she just means she's
going to rub cream on it.
No, she'll be polishing
your knocker all right.
You didn't see how turned
on she was putting that
ring in you while
you took a nap.
I guess we're finally going
to benefit from a test drug.
Hands burning.
Hm?
Oh!
That's going to
leave a mark.
Better pop a few more
of these just in case.
You guys barbecuing?
It smells good.
No, no, Pete just
burnt his hand.
Oh man, shouldn't he be
freaking out or going to a
hospital or something?
No, hospitals are for
pussies.
You see Peter and I are
in a whole new mindset.
I'm done being a wimp.
From here on in it's
mind over matter buddy.
You guys are
testing a new drug.
Nice.
Okay, who would like to
buy an earth cap for $10?
- An earth cap?
- That is so lame.
This is a piece of string
in the bottle cap.
No,no, no. It's to save the
earth but clearly you
guys aren't interested.
How is buying a bottle cap
on a string going to save
the earth?
I'm turning garbage into
fashionable accessories
that you wear
because of guilt.
Okay let me tell
you something, Nugget
Nobody's paying $10
for that let alone putting
it on their head.
Oh really?
Oh, okay.
What about the 70 million
shitty yellow silicone
bracelets Lance
Armstrong sold?
70 million guys!
Okay, look, people are perfectly
willing to get ripped off
as long as its
for a good cause.
First of all Lance Armstrong
won 7 Tour de France's;
he's a superstar.
You look like a mantis
with a Yasar Arafat Beard.
Yeah and you're not
actually going to do
anything with the money
to help save the planet.
A portion of it
goes to charity.
Oh yeah, what portion?
You know, portion.
Uh huh. I'll see
you guys later.
I gotta get ready
for my date.
I'm going to unleash Vlad.
Sorry Nugget, you ain't
got no Lance Armstrong.
No, I don't... but I have
you, the amazing Mr. Pain.
Ladies and Gentlemen, boys
and girls what I'm about
to do here will cause
me excruciating pain.
These cactuses...
Cacti...
Yes of course cacti, are
covered in needles so sharp
they will piece the human
skin with a simple touch.
I would not recommend
that you juggle with them
unless like me you enjoy
putting your body through hell.
There's no trick
here... I just dig pain.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Folks the amazing Mr. Pain
is willing to suffer, so...
we'll all realize how much
our own planet is suffering.
Isn't that right Mr. Pain?
Sure, yes, why not?
If he's willing to give
blood just to hold onto a
cactus you have to ask
yourselves what are you
willing to give to
hold onto our planet?
Earth caps ladies
and gentlemen.
Get yours today for $10
and make a difference
for tomorrow.
Over here, I'll
take three.
$10.
$10...
Mr. Pain, you're my hero.
Of course I am kid,
of course I am.
You look lovely.
Lovely?
Shut up slave.
Oh, huh.
Never worn a dog
collar before.
I brought you a
bottle of wine.
Before we get started you
need a safe word in case I
go too far.
A safe word?
Mm...
How about... more?
Okay then...
- Heel.
- It's terrific
This is a really
nice dungeon.
So let me ask you this?
Do you have a boyfriend?
What?
The only men I know are
pathetic little swine who
beg me to let them lick
the soles of my shoes.
What are these for?
$600, unbelievable.
I got three
girl's numbers.
We got to start thinking
of the next stunt.
Yeah we do but you're hand
is kind of messed up.
I say we go for
the face next.
What, not the face.
Why not?
Ah, chicks dig the face.
You should have seen the way
that kid was looking at me.
I'm his hero.
Mr. Pain can be
every kid's hero.
- Yeah?
- Yeah
Yeah, like Evl Knevl
Sure and do you think he
stopped after jumping one bus?
No.
No.
You're right. Okay, we
gotta think bigger.
I say we go for your legs.
No, no, no.
I got something better.
So I just told
her mom,
this is my apartment and
if I want to keep the
windows open with the heat
on... that is my business.
She just
can't let go I guess.
Are you kidding me?
You're not in any pain?
I cannot whip any harder!
Oh, I'm sorry, have
you started already?
I have never abused
a man this much.
Are you getting
turned on yet?
Shut up worm.
My arms are aching.
I feel terrible.
You do?
Are you in agony?
No.
I feel terrible about
your arms hurting.
Maybe you should
just rest for a bit.
I don't want your
pity you little bitch.
Would you like a back rub?
Maybe a hot tea
Oh, I'm gonna make you scream
All right.
Are you sure
about this buddy?
Are you kidding?
No permanent damage and
I'm not going to mess up
my money maker.
It's a big crowd pleaser.
I don't want to
look like an idiot.
Okay, give me
your best shot.
Twenty points!
Did he throw it yet?
The amazing
Mr. Pain,
he doesn't scream, he
doesn't even flinch.
Oh!
Thirty... now who says that
saving the planet is a
pain in the ass?
Personally I think its
every citizen's duty to
carry a set of
booster cables.
I can't tell you how many
times I've need a boost
and nobody's
had any cables.
Don't you ever shut up?
I'm sorry
mistress I'll just be
quiet while you
electrocute me.
Oh no...
Nobody has ever been able
to withstand Satan's kiss.
Maybe your
battery is dead.
I just bought it.
You should be screaming
I'm sorry
Is that what
you'd like me to do?
I will if that's
what you want.
Ouch!
Ow!
I can't believe you're
faking it for me!
What the hell?
Maybe we should try
something else.
Watch a movie,
have a few drinks,
get to know each other...
No, I am in command and
you're my pathetic little dog.
Okay fine, good.
I'll bark and poop the floor
if that's what you want.
But when do we get
naked and do it?
We don't.
I get off by beating you and
you get off by being beaten.
Come on, really?
That's it?
We're not going
to close the deal?
No.
Look just get out
of my dungeon.
I thought you
liked me Janey.
Get out.
Okay, you know what;
you did hurt me.
You hurt me feelings.
Good bye Janey, here's
your dog collar back.
Are you going to cry?
No.
Oh!
Let's not forget that
Mr. Pain's real target is
bringing awareness to the
peril our planet is in,
isn't that right
little Billy?
Yeah.
How would you like
to have a shot?
Okay, hold on, one
second. Five bucks.
Oh!
Bull's eye.
Hey, stay safe and
drink your milk.
Huh?
It will be my
biggest stunt yet?
I don't think there's a
300 foot gorge close by
that you could jump
over on a motorcycle.
And besides Ron, you
miss this, you die.
Oh no, daredevils
rarely die,
they just break
a few bones.
Big deal.
Famous forever.
Besides that's
what these are for.
Good point.
Hey, how was your date.
Lame, she was way
too into S & M.
What is this stuff?
Designs, plans.
What's with the
hippie girls?
Peace.
Fans, tried my first
threesome so I couldn't
really feel a thing.
Fans, threesome?
What's going on?
Ron's a daredevil and
we're saving the planet.
Yeah, oh and we're rich.
I've been gone
for three hours.
I want to be a daredevil.
Well you can't Pete.
I'm the daredevil,
right Nugget?
Hold on a second,
I've got an idea.
This is the first ever two
person motorcycle jump
performed by myself the
amazing Mr. Pain and my
trusty sidekick
here, danger lad.
Hi how are you?
This one, this
one's for you Billy.
This is going to look
great coming off the back
of the bike while you guys
fly over the crappers.
It's going to be on the front
page of every newspaper guys.
Can't believe people are
actually coughing up $10
and buying into
your stupid sham.
The don't buy this crap
because they give a shit
about the environment.
They wear them so they can
show their friends and
family that they actually
gave to a charity.
That's pathetic.
Can't people give money to
a cause without gloating?
What's the point of doing
something nice if no one
knows you did it?
Go sheer these sheep.
Well it's time
to get famous.
Five minutes from now
every kid in town is going
to look up to us.
Women are going to be
fighting each other just
to jump our broken bones.
Let's do it.
Okay Vlad,
hold on tight buddy.
Ready boys?
Ladies and gents,
make some noise.
You're about to see
history in the making.
Hold on tight Pete.
Okay, in three, two...
Oh, a mosquito... shit
I felt that!
one
Ron don't go!
And go...
Do not go.
Ow, ow, ow... Ron pull
over, Ron pull over.
Ron... the Vlad,
my cock... stop!
Oh.
Oh my god.
I have never felt
more pain in my life.
Please kill me.
Everything hurts,
even talking.
Can't you give
us something?
We've given you the
strongest drugs we can,
quadruple doses.
Why are we still in pain?
You took a week's supply
of medication in two days.
You've built
up a tolerance.
You moved from being
immune to pain to being
immune to painkillers.
Oh...
Oh, quit your complaining.
At least your penis
is 6 inches longer.
Yeah but I lost
a lot of girth.
It's like a noodle.
Wait till the
swelling goes down.
subsBusters
What the hell!
Wait a minute,
I didn't feel anything.
Me neither, I
felt... nothing.
Excellent.
It works.
subsBusters proudly presents
s01e10
Nothing.
We gave you a very powerful
experimental pain killer.
It was developed as an
alternative to anesthesia.
Doctor's can perform
surgery on patients while
they're still awake.
This is the best drug
we've ever tested.
Hey, maybe now you won't
be such a big pussy.
You're the pussy.
Quiet!
This is a one-week supply.
Take two a day, monitor
yourselves and you
shouldn't feel a thing.
What's so funny?
I just ripped this
out of your head,
you didn't even notice.
Ron, my hair.
Hey.
This is
unbelievable.
I know I feel
like a superhero.
We should join the UFC.
I do not advise that.
Why not?
Pain is your body's
warning system.
Without it you could do
yourself serious damage.
We should probably
quarantine the two of you
for the duration.
Quarantine? No way!
Well Ron maybe it's
not such a bad idea.
We'd be safe.
Don't worry, we'll
be very careful.
This is what I'm
talking about.
My first wool sweater
on my bare skin.
I could never wear them before
because they're too itchy.
Big deal, it's
a sweater, Pete.
Oh, my friend this is
not just a sweater.
This is an Irish
Erin sweater.
Pure wool.
You want me to
call the press?
Don't try and pretend this
isn't the nicest sweater
you've ever seen
in your life Ron?
- Okay
- I look rugged.
Like Robert Redford.
Okay, enough already.
We don't feel any pain.
We're basically got superpowers
and you're sweater shopping.
- Superpowers?
- Yeah
Are you saying that we
should go help people?
No, I'm saying we should use
our powers to go get laid.
Okay stop there!
Damn it, you
have caught me.
For you ladies
and for you...
What
are you doing?
What, don't be
such a baby,
you can't feel anything.
So how would you like it?
Oh yeah?
Oh hey, hey ladies,
where you going?
I'm a hero.
Dinner?
Yeah and I'm a bad ass
but comfy criminal.
Very impressive.
Thank you.
You enjoyed our show?
I loved it.
You've know idea how many
pussies come into my store and
then cry like little babies
when I tattoo or pierce them.
Tattoos, what a joke.
I love pain.
Oh yeah.
I love pain.
We can take whatever
you can dish out.
Well you've come
to the right place.
Step into my parlor boys.
Excuse me, excuse me.
What do you want?
Would you like to buy
some chocolate bars...
for the deaf children?
What?
Would you like to buy some
chocolate bars for the
deaf children?
Yeah sure, I'll
take 20 kid.
20?
That's awesome.
You lying sack of
shit, you're not deaf.
Okay look, I'm sorry
Mr. but no one buys
chocolates when I say it's
for new soccer uniforms.
Soccer uniforms.
I used to use that
one when I was a kid.
You obviously
like chocolates.
What are you
trying to say?
Can you please just buy
some and help me out?
How much?
$10.
$10, what, are
you high on acid?
I can get a case of this
junk in China town for $8. 50.
Besides it's not
even real chocolate.
It's made with palm oil.
Not cocoa
butter, you goof.
Go and try and con
some other sucker.
Ass hole.
Damn, didn't wince once.
A deal's a deal.
Tatoo is free.
All right, this tattoo is
going to get me so laid.
Now if you get one of
those gay ass shirts with
the back exposed to show
everyone how cool you are
for getting a tattoo.
Yeah hey, you should get the
same one Pete, we'll match.
We can start
a tattoo gang.
I don't know.
I don't think I'm a
tattoo type of guy.
So, try a piercing.
I love giving the needle
to a man who can take it.
These are very
big earrings.
I was thinking I could
just get a little stud.
These aren't
for your ears.
My nose?
- Tongue?
- No.
Oh no... I don't
want a nipple ring.
I just got this new wool
sweater and it'll get caught...
It's a Prince Albert.
It's for your penis.
Nasty.
Go for it.
Come on, really?
Why would I want
one of those?
Because it's the ultimate
pleasure for women.
What woman would want
that thing in her?
Me.
I love them... the
bigger the better.
Oh yeah?
Mhm.
Well what's your biggest?
Oh now you're talking.
Go Pete.
Show who the boss is.
This is Vlad, the impaler.
Cool, I dare
you to get that.
Vlad me.
I don't know what
you're worried about;
I mean you go on
lots of dates.
Yeah, but you know how
they always end up for me.
We get along fine, we have
a great time and then I
try to close the deal and
they just want to be friends.
They never see
me as... sexual.
True, but I mean
it's not even a date.
She basically said come
back to the tattoo shop
and she'll let
you impale her.
No, she said she was going
to take care of my piercing.
Maybe she just means she's
going to rub cream on it.
No, she'll be polishing
your knocker all right.
You didn't see how turned
on she was putting that
ring in you while
you took a nap.
I guess we're finally going
to benefit from a test drug.
Hands burning.
Hm?
Oh!
That's going to
leave a mark.
Better pop a few more
of these just in case.
You guys barbecuing?
It smells good.
No, no, Pete just
burnt his hand.
Oh man, shouldn't he be
freaking out or going to a
hospital or something?
No, hospitals are for
pussies.
You see Peter and I are
in a whole new mindset.
I'm done being a wimp.
From here on in it's
mind over matter buddy.
You guys are
testing a new drug.
Nice.
Okay, who would like to
buy an earth cap for $10?
- An earth cap?
- That is so lame.
This is a piece of string
in the bottle cap.
No,no, no. It's to save the
earth but clearly you
guys aren't interested.
How is buying a bottle cap
on a string going to save
the earth?
I'm turning garbage into
fashionable accessories
that you wear
because of guilt.
Okay let me tell
you something, Nugget
Nobody's paying $10
for that let alone putting
it on their head.
Oh really?
Oh, okay.
What about the 70 million
shitty yellow silicone
bracelets Lance
Armstrong sold?
70 million guys!
Okay, look, people are perfectly
willing to get ripped off
as long as its
for a good cause.
First of all Lance Armstrong
won 7 Tour de France's;
he's a superstar.
You look like a mantis
with a Yasar Arafat Beard.
Yeah and you're not
actually going to do
anything with the money
to help save the planet.
A portion of it
goes to charity.
Oh yeah, what portion?
You know, portion.
Uh huh. I'll see
you guys later.
I gotta get ready
for my date.
I'm going to unleash Vlad.
Sorry Nugget, you ain't
got no Lance Armstrong.
No, I don't... but I have
you, the amazing Mr. Pain.
Ladies and Gentlemen, boys
and girls what I'm about
to do here will cause
me excruciating pain.
These cactuses...
Cacti...
Yes of course cacti, are
covered in needles so sharp
they will piece the human
skin with a simple touch.
I would not recommend
that you juggle with them
unless like me you enjoy
putting your body through hell.
There's no trick
here... I just dig pain.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Folks the amazing Mr. Pain
is willing to suffer, so...
we'll all realize how much
our own planet is suffering.
Isn't that right Mr. Pain?
Sure, yes, why not?
If he's willing to give
blood just to hold onto a
cactus you have to ask
yourselves what are you
willing to give to
hold onto our planet?
Earth caps ladies
and gentlemen.
Get yours today for $10
and make a difference
for tomorrow.
Over here, I'll
take three.
$10.
$10...
Mr. Pain, you're my hero.
Of course I am kid,
of course I am.
You look lovely.
Lovely?
Shut up slave.
Oh, huh.
Never worn a dog
collar before.
I brought you a
bottle of wine.
Before we get started you
need a safe word in case I
go too far.
A safe word?
Mm...
How about... more?
Okay then...
- Heel.
- It's terrific
This is a really
nice dungeon.
So let me ask you this?
Do you have a boyfriend?
What?
The only men I know are
pathetic little swine who
beg me to let them lick
the soles of my shoes.
What are these for?
$600, unbelievable.
I got three
girl's numbers.
We got to start thinking
of the next stunt.
Yeah we do but you're hand
is kind of messed up.
I say we go for
the face next.
What, not the face.
Why not?
Ah, chicks dig the face.
You should have seen the way
that kid was looking at me.
I'm his hero.
Mr. Pain can be
every kid's hero.
- Yeah?
- Yeah
Yeah, like Evl Knevl
Sure and do you think he
stopped after jumping one bus?
No.
No.
You're right. Okay, we
gotta think bigger.
I say we go for your legs.
No, no, no.
I got something better.
So I just told
her mom,
this is my apartment and
if I want to keep the
windows open with the heat
on... that is my business.
She just
can't let go I guess.
Are you kidding me?
You're not in any pain?
I cannot whip any harder!
Oh, I'm sorry, have
you started already?
I have never abused
a man this much.
Are you getting
turned on yet?
Shut up worm.
My arms are aching.
I feel terrible.
You do?
Are you in agony?
No.
I feel terrible about
your arms hurting.
Maybe you should
just rest for a bit.
I don't want your
pity you little bitch.
Would you like a back rub?
Maybe a hot tea
Oh, I'm gonna make you scream
All right.
Are you sure
about this buddy?
Are you kidding?
No permanent damage and
I'm not going to mess up
my money maker.
It's a big crowd pleaser.
I don't want to
look like an idiot.
Okay, give me
your best shot.
Twenty points!
Did he throw it yet?
The amazing
Mr. Pain,
he doesn't scream, he
doesn't even flinch.
Oh!
Thirty... now who says that
saving the planet is a
pain in the ass?
Personally I think its
every citizen's duty to
carry a set of
booster cables.
I can't tell you how many
times I've need a boost
and nobody's
had any cables.
Don't you ever shut up?
I'm sorry
mistress I'll just be
quiet while you
electrocute me.
Oh no...
Nobody has ever been able
to withstand Satan's kiss.
Maybe your
battery is dead.
I just bought it.
You should be screaming
I'm sorry
Is that what
you'd like me to do?
I will if that's
what you want.
Ouch!
Ow!
I can't believe you're
faking it for me!
What the hell?
Maybe we should try
something else.
Watch a movie,
have a few drinks,
get to know each other...
No, I am in command and
you're my pathetic little dog.
Okay fine, good.
I'll bark and poop the floor
if that's what you want.
But when do we get
naked and do it?
We don't.
I get off by beating you and
you get off by being beaten.
Come on, really?
That's it?
We're not going
to close the deal?
No.
Look just get out
of my dungeon.
I thought you
liked me Janey.
Get out.
Okay, you know what;
you did hurt me.
You hurt me feelings.
Good bye Janey, here's
your dog collar back.
Are you going to cry?
No.
Oh!
Let's not forget that
Mr. Pain's real target is
bringing awareness to the
peril our planet is in,
isn't that right
little Billy?
Yeah.
How would you like
to have a shot?
Okay, hold on, one
second. Five bucks.
Oh!
Bull's eye.
Hey, stay safe and
drink your milk.
Huh?
It will be my
biggest stunt yet?
I don't think there's a
300 foot gorge close by
that you could jump
over on a motorcycle.
And besides Ron, you
miss this, you die.
Oh no, daredevils
rarely die,
they just break
a few bones.
Big deal.
Famous forever.
Besides that's
what these are for.
Good point.
Hey, how was your date.
Lame, she was way
too into S & M.
What is this stuff?
Designs, plans.
What's with the
hippie girls?
Peace.
Fans, tried my first
threesome so I couldn't
really feel a thing.
Fans, threesome?
What's going on?
Ron's a daredevil and
we're saving the planet.
Yeah, oh and we're rich.
I've been gone
for three hours.
I want to be a daredevil.
Well you can't Pete.
I'm the daredevil,
right Nugget?
Hold on a second,
I've got an idea.
This is the first ever two
person motorcycle jump
performed by myself the
amazing Mr. Pain and my
trusty sidekick
here, danger lad.
Hi how are you?
This one, this
one's for you Billy.
This is going to look
great coming off the back
of the bike while you guys
fly over the crappers.
It's going to be on the front
page of every newspaper guys.
Can't believe people are
actually coughing up $10
and buying into
your stupid sham.
The don't buy this crap
because they give a shit
about the environment.
They wear them so they can
show their friends and
family that they actually
gave to a charity.
That's pathetic.
Can't people give money to
a cause without gloating?
What's the point of doing
something nice if no one
knows you did it?
Go sheer these sheep.
Well it's time
to get famous.
Five minutes from now
every kid in town is going
to look up to us.
Women are going to be
fighting each other just
to jump our broken bones.
Let's do it.
Okay Vlad,
hold on tight buddy.
Ready boys?
Ladies and gents,
make some noise.
You're about to see
history in the making.
Hold on tight Pete.
Okay, in three, two...
Oh, a mosquito... shit
I felt that!
one
Ron don't go!
And go...
Do not go.
Ow, ow, ow... Ron pull
over, Ron pull over.
Ron... the Vlad,
my cock... stop!
Oh.
Oh my god.
I have never felt
more pain in my life.
Please kill me.
Everything hurts,
even talking.
Can't you give
us something?
We've given you the
strongest drugs we can,
quadruple doses.
Why are we still in pain?
You took a week's supply
of medication in two days.
You've built
up a tolerance.
You moved from being
immune to pain to being
immune to painkillers.
Oh...
Oh, quit your complaining.
At least your penis
is 6 inches longer.
Yeah but I lost
a lot of girth.
It's like a noodle.
Wait till the
swelling goes down.
subsBusters