Tenspeed and Brown Shoe (1980): Season 1, Episode 8 - Savage Says, 'The Most Dangerous Bird Is the Jailbird' - full transcript

I'm Lionel Whitney.

I hope you're available?

Who is the girl
who was taken out of our office?

"This one's for you, kid.
Love, Tommy."

You give phoney gifts from our president
to poor George Hamilton?

Tommy T?! No!

I slugged Tommy Tedesco. That means
I'm dead. The man is certifiably crazy.

They're both dead!

Nobody makes Tommy T
look like a coke in a cream muffin

in front of his broad!

We are show doctors
and we are here to polish Phyllis's act.



- Who's Johnny McClain?
- We don't know.

This is absolutely preposterous.
This is George Hamilton's house.

- Who are you?
- I'm the new night manager.

- Who are you?
- I'm with Hotel Systems Inc.

- Who are you?!
- Oh, that's her agent.

I think this is for you.

We've been paid. We're back on the case!

Lucky us.

Giddy-giddy-gai!

E.L., haven't I tried
to be a friend to you?

We've played golf,
we've played poker on Thursdays.

Despite regulations against it, I've let
you use my place at Arrowhead, right?

In my opinion you're the best
parole officer a guy could have.

When it comes to trust and
understanding you're right up there.



OK, so maybe I like you, OK?

- OK.
- OK.

But, man, if you change your address
you're supposed to notify the office.

Right.

I go out to drop off my tennis racket

and they tell me you haven't lived there
for two months.

And they're right.

And that's why I asked you
if you'd bring it by this side of town.

Right, Larry? Larry!

Larry, I hate to be critical
but you're being childish about this.

Where are you staying?

Mr Craig, if I might take
this moment to intercede,

I should say insofar as Mr Turner's
living accommodation are concerned,

I think we must indulge
the concept that Mr Turner,

E.L. that is, has a slight...

wanderlust.

Yes, wanderlust.

And although this wanderlust
is somewhat bizarre

it really doesn't fall into the area
of abject criminality.

Let's just call it
a commondaisical eccentricity.

So where are you living?
I'm not kidding around.

If you don't cough up an address now

I swear I'll put this in your file
and the parole board will send you back.

Larry, you know
what my financial situation has been.

I had to move in with Lionel.
Tell him, buddy.

Well, how about that, Lionel?

I think you're a straight guy.
If you tell me, well, we'll see.

Go on, tell him. Tell him what the panic
has been since I moved in. Go on.

Alright, I'll tell him.

Larry, get this,
yesterday I'm in the bathroom, right.

You know those toothpaste blobs
in the sink?

He comes in and he sees this toothpaste
all over so he says to me,

"Next time I catch that I'll fry it up
and serve it to you as a dinner mint."

This crazy guy!

I just about bust a gut.

Well, you had to be there.

How about it, Lionel?
Is that where he is?

He's at your place?

Um...

Yes, yes, in a manner of speaking
he is...

At my place, yeah, I guess.

- OK?
- OK.

You'd better live with Lionel because
I'll do some close checking on you.

- I know. I know.
- Very close.

Mr Whitney?

No, no, I... No.

I'm Whitney, owner of Whitney
Investigations, at your service.

How may we serve you?

Well, Mr Whitney, as president
of Great Western National Surety

I'd like to extend
our sincere gratitude.

The $500,000 you helped us recover
from the diamond cartel,

it only justifies our confidence in you
and your fine firm.

Larry and I must be getting back
to headquarters.

He's brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
So long, Mr Whitney.

I hope you're available.

Of course we're available.
Here, sit down.

Despite our awesome caseload,

we're handling the theft
of 50,000 rackets

stolen from a warehouse in Bakersfield.

How come Whitney investigation can be
of service to you, Miss or Mrs or Ms...?

I'd like to commission you, I guess,
to help me with a very ticklish problem.

I can't discuss it right now.

Yes, yes, yes. Ticklish problems are
of course a specialty of this agency.

- What happens when you stop lying?
- I was just trying to keep it light.

Help you over
your momentary disappointment.

If you're trying to make a fool of me
I'm going to violate your parole myself.

Be hard to make a fool out of the best
parole officer in the whole system.

I'll see you later.
Give my love to your family, alright?

Discretion is the watchword
of this industry and this agency.

May I have your name, Miss...?

Or Mrs or Ms, I'll fill out our standard
client forms and get onto the case.

OK, fellas, that's it. Come on.

What are you doing? You're out of order.

Stay there.
Come on, Phyllis. We're leaving.

Mountain Water man. Mr Whitney,
I'm here to get your water bottle.

I'll be back...

- What, man?
- Hey, get lost.

Listen, I was conducting an interview...

You should really listen to what these
gentlemen have to say, Mr Whitney.

You want to stay alive, right?
Forget this. Forget the whole thing.

Otherwise you're dead,
she's dead, he's dead...

This is an outrage.

Bad move. Bad move.

The gun, I've got to get the gun.

Right 24.

Yeah, left 25, right 26.

- Shut up!
- 17, 25...

Look, buddy, do me a favour.
Just let it go. Alright? Let it go.

See, I have this theory,

any guy with a jacket big enough to tarp
a car you don't want to mess with.

You fool! You tiny fool!

- You don't want to protect our clients.
- You overgrown glass of water!

You lie to everybody.
Where are you living?

You'd better watch out
tension level here.

I want to know
or Larry will throw you back in jail.

- You're upset because we lost a client.
- I'm waiting!

I'm residing at George Hamilton's
place... temporarily.

George Hamilton, the actor?
You're in his house?

I'm feeding his eagle.

He's got a bald eagle, I'm taking care
of it while he's in Europe.

- They're almost extinct.
- They're also our national bird.

- I know that!
- Don't get so riled!

- You gave it to him, didn't you?
- No, President Carter gave it to him.

All I did was deliver it and now
I have to take care of it, that's all.

You give phoney gifts from our president
to poor George Hamilton.

- You pretended to be from the pet store?
- No.

Department of National Symbols.
Animal Control Division

That always works.
I've used it a few times.

That's it. You're going back.
Back you go. You're going back.

If that's what you think is best.

That's not what I think is best.
That's not what I want and you know it.

Hey, where did this come from?

- We're not spending that.
- We're not? What are we doing with it?

We're going to...

Take an ad out in the paper.

No, no, no. Buddy, no.

We ought to take a ride and have
a nice long talk. What do you think?

Watch for the thugs in the hallway.
Let's go.

No wonder you get all excited
and frustrated, man.

Anybody who reads this, they are bound
to go out and stop a freight train,

if you believe this stuff.

Why does this idiot
write junk like this?

He's not an idiot. He's one
of the best writers in the field.

Really? Listen.

"The widow was made in Berlin and moved
better than a German Luger."

Where's the nearest trash can?

- Hey, hey! That's not funny.
- I know it's not, it's criminal.

Stop, man. Red light. Stop. Thank you.

So who is she? Who is the girl
who was taken out of our office?

Buddy, look,
why don't you hang right here?

I know a shortcut we can take.

She's in trouble. Those guys want
something. We are obliged to help.

When the light turns green I want you

to go up here a block
and make a right...

Look! There she is.

Phyllis Lattiger! We know who she is.
We've been paid and back on the case!

Lucky us.

Pardon me, sir,
how would one find The Grove?

Are you going to see Phyllis?
Yes, indeed we are.

- She's in trouble and we are here to...
- Polish her act.

We are show doctors
and we're here to polish her act.

Lucky you have the tickets.
It's a sell-out. Has been whole week.

Tickets?

We must get into the main room,
see what's going on.

Can't do anything
until we get into the main room.

- That's not a good idea.
- Get us in there.

What happened to all the old ricky-tick?

Give the maitre d' a bald eagle,
maybe we'll get the presidential box.

Why don't you button your beak?

We don't know who's involved here.
We ought to be careful.

You're right, you're absolutely right.
So what we do?

Let's go to her dressing room.

We can't even get into the main room,
now we can get backstage?

It's not as hard as it looks.
Give me a pencil.

Come on.

- Excuse me a minute, sir.
- What is it, sir?

- One moment. Now...

- Did you want something, sir?

I'm with Hotel Systems Inc.
Prior to making a bid...

- Why am I talking to this man?
- I'm sorry.

I'm the assistant night manager,
Charles McBride.

The hotel chain is being sold.

This is Mr Tynerman,
the buyer and survey analyst.

- Hey, I heard this place
was up for sale.

- I need to inspect your tray.

Thank you. Mm-hm. Lovely.

Nice vegetable presentation.

And the salad with the carrot strips
on the side, gives the colour.

That's very lovely indeed.
I like that. Nice dressing.

You got champagne.
Very lovely. Very nice.

Everything is excellent,
except for this man's uniform jacket.

He is soiled. Very unappetising.

Hotel service is a lot of things
and appearance is far from the least.

Let me have your jacket, please.
Do you have another jacket?

Yeah. I mean, yes, sir.

Then I suggest you fetch it.
We'll stand with the trays.

This is Ms Lattiger's dinner

and it came out
of the special order kitchen.

- I've got to get it to her.
- Don't bring it through here!

Why not? She working here.

Arnold, help these people
find the backstage.

Backstage, right. Sorry, man.

Who are you?

Oh, that's her agent.
Some cat named Hollywood Joe.

- I'm Lattiger's personal representative.
- Just go.

Hey, hey, Arnold,
you're really cool, man.

Thank you. Really appreciate it.

Ms Lattiger?

Ms Lattiger?

- She may be dressing.
- Hello?

She's not here. Where is she?
It's almost showtime.

- Still with the gorillas?
- Maybe.

"Luck and love, Tommy."

The gorillas, as you say,
are not working for themselves,

I think the key question is,
who are they working for?

"You bring tears to my eyes, Tommy."

Now we don't have a clue
as to who that might be.

Are you with me?
What are you laughing about?

"This one's for you, kid. Love, Tommy."

So what I propose is that
we first of all stay very cautious

until we find out who is responsible for
dragging Phyllis out of our office today

and then, step-by-step,
we start to probe...

"Don't take your eyes off me,
love Tommy."

Will you stop it?
I'm trying to answer...

- This is my personal favourite.
- All these are from the same guy?

"Don't try anything stupid,
because you belong to Tommy."

Tommy, Tommy. OK. OK, what's the story?

I think we should find out
who this guy Tommy is.

Hey, Track,
I want you to stick with Phyllis

make sure she gets
everything she wants.

Yeah, sure thing, Tommy.

Hey, angel, what's with the sad face?

Tommy, it's just...

I never get to see anybody.

Didn't I tell you to get some skirt
and get the girls?

The nude ice skaters?
Hey, I'm talking to you!

She said she didn't want them, Tommy.

She didn't want to pal up
with no nude ice skaters.

Hey, angel, I can understand.
Nude skaters ain't good company, huh?

OK, so we'll get some other chicks.
Tommy will fix it.

Hey, don't cry.

You're going to ruin
those pretty angel eyes.

Oh, honey,
Tommy dies when you cry.

Hey, didn't I just say don't cry?!

So stop with the tears, alright?

Tommy, I've got a show to do.

Artists, they get very temperamental
before a show.

That's just what I was thinking, Tommy.

Boy, what a chick.

Have you ever seen a chick like Phyllis?

Not me, Tommy. She's a real lush broad.

Never call her no broad.

OK. I'm sorry.

Let me have the phone book.

These two scungilli. I don't get it!

It's bad enough this Whitney guy
gets me a three-month county jolt,

now Phyllis looks them up?

How is that, huh?

Am I talking to you or am I just sitting
back here giving my gums a work-out?!

I'm just thinking, Tommy, maybe
you should call this Whitney guy up

because you're always talking
about him, you know?

Talking about him?

All I ever said was I was going to plug
the sucker first chance I got.

He'd be done already
but I've got to let some time pass.

If I close his account two weeks after
I get out the cops will put it together.

I don't know, Chip. She's different.
Ever since I got out she's different.

Tommy, maybe we should go on inside.
Get a couple of seats.

Phyllis goes on in five minutes.

You're treating me like a head case,
Chip.

No, sir. I'm not, Tommy.

I hate it when everyone tiptoes around.
What am I? Some kind of crazy guy, huh?

Come on! Get it off your chest!
You got something to say, say it!

Tommy, what you want, I want. I mean it.
Whatever you want, that's what I want.

- I want Whitney.
- I want Whitney.

- I want this guy. I want to plant him!
- OK, Tommy. OK.

I've been out long enough, ain't I?

18 days. That's long enough, ain't it?

- I should think so, Tommy.
- Yeah, me too.

That's a good idea, Chip. You go ahead
and pick him up. And his partner.

I feel like doing somebody. I'm edgy.
You know what I mean? Real edgy.

I pop these guys,
it will probably calm my nerves some.

Yeah, Tommy.

Hey, you're my best pal.

Thanks.

Don't cry, Phyllis. You know
how Tommy is. He really loves you.

So Tommy, whoever he is,
is insanely jealous of Phyllis.

- Right.
- And what else?

- Well...
- Don't tell me. I've got it. OK, so...

He hires these gorillas
to keep an eye on her

and, erm... then what?

- OK.
- Don't help me.

They dragged her out of our office

and brought her back here

or to her hotel room,
or wherever she lives.

So where is she now?

Hold it. What are you guys doing here?

Yes, this is Miss Lattiger's
dressing room. Who?

Just a minute, please. Excuse me.
Excuse me. I think this is for you.

- What have you done?!
- What we're here to do.

Rescue you from this dangerous web
which ensnares you,

to assure you that you have
the full protection of our agency

and that our resources and personnel
are at your service.

Stand back, please. Stand back.

His pacemaker. Gone.

I'm going to need my medical bag.
It's in a blue Chrysler in block...

Would you people clear out?
The stretcher is going to come.

Sir, would you come here a minute?

Stay with him.
I'm going to get my medical bag.

Doctor, would you, please?

Clear. Come on. Let's go.

Phyllis?

No, Tommy, no!

Tommy T?!

Mr Tedesco, there's been
a great misunderstanding here.

Look, there's been
a great misunderstanding.

Had I known that you
were the Tommy involved...

Come on, E.L. Let's go.

I never...

I want to extend my most humble
apologies. This will never...

Go! You're killing me!

Oh, no!

Get out of there! Get out of the car!

Hey, you alright, boss?

Here, let me help you up.
They got away in our car.

He's dead. They are both dead!

Nobody makes Tommy T look like a coke
in a cream muffin in front of his broad.

Am I talking or what? Get up!

We're going to dust these two!
We're going to do it tonight!

- Well, here we are.
- Do you live here?

- In a manner of speaking.
- Yes, in a manner of speaking.

He feeds George Hamilton's bald eagle.

Would you lighten up? Come in.

Come in.

There's some food in the fridge,
there is drinks.

Just make yourself at home.
I'm going to change.

- E.L.
- I'm going to change.

Miss Lattiger, make yourself at home.
There's food in the refrigerator.

Tommy is going to kill us.
He's not right in the head.

He won't kill us, Miss Lattiger.

We have our side and he has his and,
without oversimplifying, ours is right.

We will prevail.

Compose yourself.

E.L., where are you?

Upstairs, first doorway on the left.

First of all that is not even a bald
eagle, it's a red-tailed hawk.

I know it's not a bald eagle.
Bald eagles are almost extinct.

George didn't notice.
He was in a hurry. OK?

- Is that Mr Hamilton's robe?
- Yes, this is his robe,

These are his slippers,
this is his wardrobe,

but nothing fits except those damn capes
and I think that's a bit much.

Would you get off my back?
We've got a bigger problem here.

Do you realise that I slugged Tommy
Tedesco? Do you know what that means?

The man is certifiably crazy.
We're dead!

I'm dead. Of all the no-brain things
for me to pull, I had to pull that.

You had to!
He was about to kick our client.

She's not our client. You got it?
She's not our client.

She's this fruitcake's girlfriend

and if we keep messing with her
we're on the fast lane to Forest Lawn!

Like it or not, we don't have a choice.

Yes, OK, Tommy is nuts,
but he's also a criminal.

He should be put away.
We can really serve society.

Get this menace off the streets.
Make Los Angeles a safer place to live.

I'm dead. I'm dead.

No, E.L., You're not.
Let's talk to Phyllis.

Let's find out what she knows.

Then after we're briefed and ready,

we'll take this crazy mobster on,
you and me.

We'll pin his ears back, teach him
to walk the straight and narrow.

Hey buddy?

- Why did I hit him? I hit him.
- Yes, I know.

You had to protect our client
and I'm really proud of you.

- You're proud? That's great.
- It was magnificent.

I'm dead, you're proud.
A no-brainer and he's proud. Great.

No, no.

Mr McClain, we have a collect call
from Phyllis Lattiger.

Will you accept it?

- Yeah, OK. Phyllis, where are you?
- I'm at this mansion, Johnny.

It's one block south of Sunset,
behind these gates.

A big colonial thing.
It belongs to George Hamilton.

Isn't Tommy just going to go nuts?

You know how he is. He could kill us
both. You know how he is, babe.

Oh, Johnny, I'm so scared.
But I want you. I think maybe...

If we're intruding
I can give you a moment.

Wait, who you talking to?
Give me that! Who is this?

I'm Johnny McClain.
Look, put Phyllis back on, huh?

Who's Johnny McClain?!

Well, Johnny and I...

- Well?!
- We love each other.

- So you're the boyfriend, huh?
- Put Phyllis back on, OK?

Johnny? No, we can't go to the police,
not unless we get Tommy arrested.

You know what he'll do.
You know how he is.

Where did you get these 2 yo-yos?
I mean, who are they?

Oh, Johnny. I need you.
I'm so frightened.

- Please come.
- No, no! No, don't come.

Don't come. Stay away.
We have troubles of our own.

Just stay away, OK?

Don't worry. I'm not going to come
within 100 miles of that place.

Are you crazy?! Is she mad?!

I need him. I need Johnny.

Miss Lattiger, I see this quite clearly.

If you might let me run through
the pertinent facts in my mind.

Fact, you and Tommy
were having an affair.

I can imagine
that he bullied you into it.

He told me he would make me a star.

He did get me booked in Vegas

and he did start me off
in a recording career

and he was dangerous and appealing,
but I never knew the price I would pay.

You would pay? She's cute.

What about the price
that we're going to pay, lady?

- Mr Whitney, may I call you Lionel?
- Of course. May I call you Phyllis?

Of course. Please.

Let me continue.

Is it not true that after gaining
this relationship with Tommy

he was arrested and sent to jail?

The result of a caper
we were involved in.

He kept saying that nobody had ever
been able to have him arrested before.

Nobody had been able to put him
in jail before except for you.

Well, we all do what we must do.

He kept raving about it.

So I figured that if anybody could help
me get away from him, it would be you.

Go on. Who is this Johnny?

After Tommy went to prison
I started seeing Johnny.

He's the most beautiful person
I've ever met.

He's just a lounge singer
in a club room in Vegas.

He's not an important person
or a big star,

but he's so sweet
and he loves me for how I am.

It doesn't matter to him
that Tommy owns me.

I understand, Miss Lattiger.
I really understand.

I don't.

Oh...

Come on, gang. If we hang
together we can still make this happen.

We can get this guy. I know it.
We did it once, we can do it again.

Will you? Will you, please?

I would be forever in your debt and
Johnny and I would owe you everything.

Of course. May I call you Phyllis?

Please.

E.L., find Miss Lattiger some food
and we'll start making plans.

You seem to be cooking our goose.
Why don't we just eat that?

Dumb. I mean it's really dumb.

Mr T, you know how these things are.

I mean, it's not like I...

Look, Phyllis,
she kind of told me it was over.

Hey, hey, Mr T,
one thing you've got to know about me

is I am no sexual claim jumper.

I thought, with you in the poke,
I thought it was... it was over.

You got to know this.

I swear on my mother's sweet eyes
this is what I thought.

I like you, John. I like you.

I can see you're being real sincere
here. He ain't a bad guy, Chip.

I kind of like him too, Tommy.

You see, John, you give me
this big problem of another sort.

I came up here, Tommy, looking for you,
because... I know what I did was wrong.

Hey, more than just wrong.
You're just another Vegas trick.

It's OK.

It's OK.

Are those caps you have there, John?

Yeah. Yeah. I had them done...

It was two years ago.

- Hey, Chip.
- Yeah?

This guy is wearing capped teeth.
Come here.

Let me see.

He is.

So what do you say we uncap them?

- With a pair of pliers?
- Yeah, yeah.

So Phyllis will know he's a painted-up
nobody with a drugstore smile.

No. No, look, I mean...

Please, I... I know where she is.

I know where Phyllis is.

I know where. She's with the detectives.

I'm going to take you there, OK?

- Hey, Chip.
- Yeah, what is it?

"What is it?" What, are you nuts?

He says he'll take us and
you're leaning against the furniture?

We need a car!

Go on!
I'm getting fed up with you, Chip!

Stay ahead of me!

Hey.

Let's see all the ivory.
You want to show me? Let's see.

I like this guy, Track.
I really like him.

And Savage
had to admit that he liked him too.

Liked him desqite his gangly raw-boned
looks and mismatched socks.

In a world where guys wear make-up
and girls are drinking their vodka neat

it was something special
to find these classic lovers.

David Lane and Maggie Thomas
were classics, their souls entwined,

despite the treachery
of Captain Coughlan

and the vague threats
of the bleary-eyed lighthouse keeper.

They were trapped on this island,
running from a mysterious danger

and aided only by a sunburned Hollywood
clown with the unlikely name of Savage.

A clown with a red rubber dagger
and a water pistol

standing up for a love that wasn't even
his but then, what was these days?

We were running from a crazy lighthouse
keeper and an old district captain,

three social misfits -a beach boy,

a lady poet and the biggest misfit
of all, Mark Savage, private eye.

- Johnny, where are you from?
- Tommy, I'm from the Bronx.

- No.
- Yeah.

- No.
- Crotona Parkway.

- Tremont Street.
- No kidding.

- Yes, yes.
- Hey.

- Alright.
- Yeah.

Hey, that's some town, right? The Bronx?

I mean, we guys from the Bronx,
we know how to have fun, right?

Right.

Sometimes we even play around with each
other's girlfriends, hey, John?

Huh?

I love them teeth.
I want teeth like that.

We're ready for you now, Tommy.

Beautiful. Beautiful.

Hey, come on, John. Come on.

Oh, John, are you alright?

I guess you didn't see the pole, huh?

How can you not love this guy?

For the moment we were safe.

We had run for two days

and found ourselves resting
on the white sands of a beach.

We had weathered the moment
and had found our port in the storm.

For this one night, nothing could touch
us. This one night was safe.

The stars belonged to the lovers

and the sore feet belonged
to the guy named Savage.

Yes, who is it?

- Western Union.
- Western Union?

Who is out there?

I've got a telegram for Mr Hamilton,
sir.

He's not here.
Just... leave it in the mailbox.

Are you still there? I said...

Hey, hey!

Hey!

You're the guy, huh? You're Turner?

- No, no.
- Come on, get up.

No, no. Not Turner.

I'm Pele. I watch house for my friend
George Hamilton while he is in Spain.

No, I do Gillette commercial.
Not Turner. I'm Pele.

Hey, Tommy!

We've got that soccer guy Pele in here.

- Come on, Turner. Get up. Get up!
- OK, OK, OK.

And you, Einstein,
bring Pele downstairs.

So, you ain't Pele, huh?

Nooooo.

Come on.

- Hey, Pele, you got a nice place here.
- Thank you.

You and me, we're going to party, right?

You're burned, alright? I mean,
who wouldn't be? I did a silly thing.

It was dumb, man. I'm admitting it.
It was a dumb thing.

I mean, if you want you can take
a pop back at me, alright?

OK, maybe you don't want to
get your knuckles all busted up.

Let Godzilla here take a pop at me, OK?

Then we can shake hands, have
a few drinks and call it even, yeah?

Yeah. You, I've got big plans for.

OK. I've got everybody here.
We're all together, right?

Everybody's here who ought to be here.
Am I right?

- Am I right?!
- Right.

- Am I right?
- Yeah, Tommy, you're right.

Hey, Phyllis.

This guy your trick?

Is this your playmate
while I'm away doing time?

Please, Tommy.
I love him. I can't help it. I love him.

You hear that, John?
Phyllis loves you.

This brutal, insane behaviour is the
kind of thing that drove Phyllis away.

If you try behaving like a normal
person, instead of some crazy killer,

women might respond to you,
ever think of that?

Of course that's just an opinion,
I could be wrong.

OK.

Lounge singer, showtime. Do it!

You never told me, Phyllis.
You never told me.

How am I supposed to know
that you are still Tommy's girl?

You know, to me,
she's just another skirt, you know?

Sings pretty good,
hangs her underwear over the shower.

Don't talk about my angel like that!
Chip, give me iron.

Give it to me.

Bang!

On your knees.

On your knees. Knees.

Say goodbye to this bag of spit.

Alright, everybody. Say it!

You know that this
is absolutely preposterous.

This is George Hamilton's house.

I mean, how can anybody in their right
mind, that's just a figure of speech...

What my friend is trying to say here,
Tommy,

is that committing a multiple murder
in a famous actor's house

could only serve to bring
national attention to the case.

If I may suggest an alternate plan.

Move the scene of the massacre
to a more secluded spot.

I think he's right.

- Where do we go?
- Just follow me!

Come on! Hurry up, you guys.

Where did they go?

Come on!

I can see them!

What are you doing?

Getting rocks.
I'm going to break some windows.

What for? It's against the law.

All these places have alarms.
Alarms call the cops.

Take Chip, go over the wall.

- This way.
- Go on!

Stay here.

Hurry up, you guys. Faster!

Come on! Get them!

Take cover!

What did you do that for?!

When I get my hands on you, you...!

- Where are they?!
- We can't find them.

We didn't see nothing.

What's wrong with you? Are you crazy?

- Hey, where you going?
- He's crazy!

Get up! Get up!

I want him, I want him!

How bad are you hit?

- This?
- Don't say a scratch!

Let go of me! Let go of me!

Let go of me, you Nazis!

You're fired! You're fired!
You're all fired!

You're all fired! You all work for me.

- Are you hurt?
- What, this?

- Don't say it's nothing.
- It's nothing.

Oh, I'm so sorry!

Mark Savage's body was a roadmap
to remind him of old cases.

He had scars to remember lost dreams
and fractured lives.

But the healing bullet hole in his leg
was going to be a happy memory.

A memory that would include David,
Maggie and their house in Bakersfield.

Savage knew he would probably
never see them again.

It would be a Christmas card
friendship,

but he also knew that he had a hand
in bringing their world together

and that's what being a private eye
is all about.

The nurse came in to check his
bandages.

She'd the shoulders of a linebacker

and the delicate smile
of a '56 Buick grill.

OK, maybe Savage
was the guy on the short end,

but he'd have his memories
and he had his scars

and once he got out of the hospital,

he'd have his one-room apartment
and his TV dinner

and for a Hollywood tough guy maybe,
just maybe, that could be enough.

I'm all in. I really appreciate this.

This is great. Thank you.

It's too bad
Phyllis chose the wrong guy.

- Not like Maggie.
- Maggie?

Maggie and David were really in love.

Maggie? Let me guess. She's one
of the characters in the book, right?

I wish cases ended with the lovers in
Bakersfield sending us Christmas cards.

Wish Johnny hadn't been such a snake...

I wish you hadn't given Phyllis back
the money, buddy.

She needed it, E.L. She is out of a job.

- She said she'd pay us back.
- Right.

At least you got yourself
an honest-to-goodness bullet hole

to remind you of the caper.

You're proud of it, ain't you? Yeah.

What about a dinner?
I got some in the kitchen.

Why don't you just sit here?

Let me fluff this. Take it easy.
That's it. Watch a little TV.

We'll do this thing right.

I'm on my way to the kitchen.

I bet you can't guess
what's for dinner tonight, huh?

What is this? TV dinners?

Cooked it myself.

Let's watch a little TV.

People are still trying
to piece the story together.

Tommy Tedesco, known in
the underworld as 'Crazy Tommy T'

is in the psychiatric ward,
County General.

Meantime police are still trying
to figure out this bizarre mystery.

In what could be a related story police
are now trying to catch an angry bird

which broke loose and destroyed the
interior of George Hamilton's house.

Sheriff's deputies
and animal control teams

are now trying to get the bird
out of the actor's plush home.

Reporter Melissa French
has the full story.