Tenspeed and Brown Shoe (1980): Season 1, Episode 3 - The Robin Tucker's Roseland Roof and Ballroom Murder - full transcript

Are those our new clients?

I want you to find a girl for me.

- Yes?
- I'm Sam Hinsley, the apartment manager.

I'm Lionel Whitney,
I'm a private detective.

I'm with Super Dimension Films.

- You're Foxy Loxy.
- Oh, I am, Turkey Lurkey?

- The guy is a head case.
- That's when I ran.

- I'm on this case.
- Good.

He's on the case.
We can all sleep easy now.

"'Mark Savage, you're one
hell of a man', she whispered.

"My knees were knocking holes
in my blue summer worsteds.



"My senses were quivering
like ten pounds of lime Jell-O

"on a cracked porcelain plate.

"How do you tell the ones

"who hand their lives to you
like tiny satin purses

"that you sweat and bleed
and die just like they do?

"How do you explain
the ghosts of old enemies

"who claw the inside of your head,

"enemies who stare into your
sleep-filled eyes cursing your luck

"and promising to change it
from beyond the grave.

"Yeah, I was one hell of a man.

"Don't you believe it.

"I was sitting in the middle of nowhere
waiting to be killed.

"Waiting for the slug
with my name on it,

"the one marked
'Hollywood Tough Guy'.



"The one that would come out of nowhere
and blow my lights out.

"Then, from somewhere,
I heard laughing.

"Loud, cawing laughter,
laughter that shook the ground

"and hung in the air
like an English mist.

"I glanced at Lillian...

"She didn't hear it.

"And then I knew it was just
Mark Savage laughing at himself.

"Laughing because
it was too late to cry."

Boy, that's great!

Lionel Whitney Agency.

- I said, "Lionel..."
- I heard you.

You didn't respond.

The reason I'm calling is that
I need to employ your services.

- Are you available?
- Available? That depends, Mr...

No names, at least until we meet.
It has to be that way.

What do you mean, "no names"?

Mr Whitney, don't put me through this.

I've had a bad week. Accept it, OK?

Well, um...

Isn't that a little unusual?

There are business considerations,
billing procedures

and records I've got withholding.

The government won't understand
money that I can't account for.

Look in your mail chute, please.

Mail chute? You left something in there?

I'll wait.

It's a $1,000 bill.
You left it in my mail chute.

I need to know I can trust you,
Mr Whitney. This case is very delicate.

Once you've passed the inspection,
I will reveal myself. You understand?

Yes, I guess.

Take this address down.
1657 Menlo Park Drive, Eagle Rock.

Be there in an hour. Park in front,
stay in your car. I'll be waiting.

OK. Let me get that back...

I really prefer
some other town cars to yours,

but the problem is finding them in bulk,
you know?

That's very true.

I know.

If we should decide to purchase
all twelve limousines,

we will of course require that your
fender shop attach flag stanchions.

Of course.

We prefer that they'd be mounted
on the bumpers.

And they should be precisely
15 inches above the centre line

of the tail and the headlight globe.

Of course.
For the African Embassy flags.

Africa has no embassy. Has no flag.

Africa is a continent, my dear man,
containing over 25 sovereign nations,

including my own Mozambique.

I'm sorry. How stupid of me.

How stupid indeed.

- No phone.
- What?

No phone up front.
You must change that.

Ambassador does not make his own calls.
Driver calls up.

It's a standard embassy protocol.

- I should have known.
- You should.

E.L. Turner, telephone, please.

Mr E.L. Turner, telephone.

Turner, yes. That's my driver.
I let the chap go for biscuits and tea.

I'd best take his call.

Use my phone. The office is right there.

- How kind. I'll be back in a jiff.
- My pleasure.

He is the secretary
to the ambassador of Mozambique.

They want twelve limos.

I'm going to extend this car to him
for the weekend, get it ready.

I want price lists

and call Hollywood Limo and see
if we can get two more from them.

Move it!

Turner here.

I got this number
from your apartment manager.

I'm at Hollywood Town Car company.

- What are you doing there?
- My car was repossessed.

I need wheels. What's up?

This is really something.

This guy calls and tells me
to look in the mail chute

and what do you think I found?

A little baby chicken.

No, I found an envelope with
$1,000 in it, a brand-new bill.

And this guy tells me that
if I want $2,000 more

I should go to 1657 Menlo Park Drive.

1657 Menlo Park Drive.

It's in Eagle Rock.

He said he'd meet me there in an hour.

What's his name?

He said no names until he met me
and then he hung up.

- If I don't go, I get to keep the money.
- Don't go.

You're not gonna go?

I was thinking that,
but people get in trouble

so they hire a private detective.

Innocent people.

Sometimes a PI
has to take a wild chance.

Are you listening?

Sure, I'll be scared.

My nerves will be quivering
like Jell-O on a plate.

What?

If I'm not back in two hours,
you know I'll...

well, in trouble, OK?

Listen to me. I've got a whole
new programme cooking here.

I've got a brand-new apartment
in the centre city high rise.

Why don't we get together, get girls,
go back to my place, Mark Savage time?

Stop treating me like I don't know
what I'm doing. I know.

This guy is in trouble.
We sell our services.

He's a little eccentric.

Yeah, Jack the Ripper was eccentric.

I'll be in touch.

And I knew it was just Lionel Whitney,
laughing at himself.

Laughing because it was too late to cry.

Hello?

Hello. Anybody there?

Hello? Anybody out there?

- Excuse me?
- Would you look at him?

Hello?

- Eyes forward.
- What?

I said, "Eyes forward".

Here's what I want you to do.

I want you to put it in gear, back it up
and head down the street.

You want...

Just do as told, kiddo.
I said, "Eyes forward".

- Yes, sir.
- Play straight and you won't be hurt.

- I would like to know where we're going.
- Up ahead we make a right.

- What I meant is to what place.
- Shut up.

I'd like to know what you want
with me in this place.

When I tell you, you'll know.

This is kidnapping.

There are people who know
of my whereabouts.

- Would you put a cork in it?
- Just keep driving!

OK. Stop it right here.

- What are you doing with my distributor?
- Just shut up!

Why did you do that?
I'm never gonna find that.

Put this on, over your eyes.

A blindfold? I don't want a blindfold.
Please, let me go.

- I was foolish to come. I know that now.
- Just shut up. Put it on.

Come on.

What's going on? Who's there?

I apologise for all this, Mr Whitney,
but I assure you it's necessary.

Who are you, please?

The reason I wanted to see you
is so I know who you are.

I want you to find a girl for me.
My friend is handing you an envelope.

It contains the torn halves
of two $1,000 bills,

along with a picture of the girl.

Her name is Susan Lardner.

All I want you to do
is locate her for me.

She was last seen this afternoon
at an address

written on the back of the picture.

It shouldn't take you very long
to find her.

Once you've located her,
go to your office and wait.

I will call every hour.

When you give me the information,

I will mail you the other half
of the torn bill.

Who's this girl?

What does it matter?
She's just a girl I once knew.

No harm will come to her
and you'll make $2,000 more.

Are we in business, Mr Whitney?

I guess.

Good. Let's go.

There's somebody there!

Oh, no, no!

No!

Lionel!

Are those our new clients?

I like them. I like them.
They seem like real nice folk.

I don't know what you were doing here.

You could have gotten us killed.

That's great.

That's really great.

You're the one who calls me with
this story right out of the radio.

You're the one who comes out here
all by yourself,

walking around looking like Elmer Fudd.

"Oh, well, where that darn rabbit?"

If I hadn't shown up,
you'd be under one of these cars.

Who asked you? I had it under control.

Under control does not mean standing
in a junk yard, blindfolded,

having you picture taken
with a gun in your back.

That's right, I heard a camera.
Why did they take my picture?

I love it. Let's go.

Wait. We have to find my distributor.

That's gone.
Part of the great outdoors.

Leave your car, we'll come back for it.

Can we leave?

- Please?
- Fine, fine.

You're a big help, thanks.

Thank you.

You're trying to make me feel
like some sort of...

I'm familiar with the field.
I try to do the right thing.

You're not interested in these
$1,000 bills?

Yes. Try and spend it.

These guys in the junk yard,
they want something.

- Yeah.
- Something dangerous.

- I heard.
- They want this girl, Susan Lardner.

- Maybe they're trying to kill her.
- She's a loser.

Too much make-up, do-it-yourself
hairstyle from "Modern Screen".

And red satin dresses
are strictly for costume parties.

What do you mean "a loser"?
You look at her picture and say that?

She has sweet eyes.

She's trying to smile
like things aren't going right.

Yeah, loser.

So, why did these guys want my picture?

Why would they deface these bills?

- Why would they want to meet me there?
- They didn't want to be seen.

And people take pictures to show them
to people. That's elementary.

That adds up to smart, tricky,
dangerous and trouble, the fatal four.

- So what do we do? We quit.
- No, no, no.

We have to go to this address
and find this girl.

She's in danger. We can help her.

- Lionel.
- What?

- This isn't working.
- What isn't working?

Us. This Tenspeed-Brownshoe business.

I mean, I dig you, man.

I really do.
You have sort of an innocence about you.

Your heart is in the right place.
But notice the vibe out there.

You're gonna have to hang a little
closer to the side of these buildings.

What I'm talking about
is a basic philosophical difference.

A compendium of evidence
support the theory

that guns have
an inverse relationship to life.

And the corollary axiom suggests
that when one observes a gun

in the hands of an unfriendly,
one must split to the trenches,

hunker down and be very quiet.

Boy, I hate this stuff.

Why don't just admit you're chicken?

Alright, I'm chicken.
I'm a pragmatic chicken.

And those are the best kind,

because they never end up
swimming with the potatoes.

I'm on this case. Susan Lardner,
last address 2316 Main Street, L. A.

Great!

I've been paid. I'm on the case.

And since this ain't working for you,

I'll expect you to get your things out.

Goodbye.

Good. He's on the case.

We can all sleep easy now.

What's going on?

Don't ask me. Maybe they're lonely.

The Roseland Roof and Ballroom.

Back in the '40s Maude Allan
was murdered here.

It's one of the great unsolved cases.
They're still trying to figure it.

Bugsy Siegel was involved.

Bugsy? The one with the pointy ears
and the bushy tail?

Right, that's the one.

Susan Lardner must have been
a hostess here.

That would explain the red satin dress
and the make-up.

If I'm not back in 20 minutes,
I want you to...

Call the cops.
You're gonna need help. Let's go.

- Look at this.
- I see it.

Oh, my God, it's terrific!
It's like coming upstairs into 1945.

The smell of disinfectant is timeless.

Hey, look.

Do you think these girls
wear these costumes from home

or do they change here?

OK, fellas. You've looked long enough.
Are you coming in or are you going out?

I'm Lionel Whitney.
This is my associate.

We're private detectives.

We're looking for Susan Lardner.
She works here.

Private eyes?

That's right, private detective.

She may be in some danger.
Is she around?

If I knew, would I tell
somebody like you?

No need to be rude, ma'am.

Look, Seamus,
this is a place of business.

You either dance with the hostesses
or you get out of the door.

From Susan Lardner I know nothing.

Now, the cover charge is $5 and
it's 20 cents a minute for the dances.

You don't understand. She's in trouble.
We're trying to help her.

Next.

Come here.

Look, you might try something
a little softer other than,

"We're private detectives
working on a case".

Oh, pointers.
Compulsive lying, I suppose?

I'm gonna dance with these girls,
see if I can find out about Susan.

Look, try telling them you're
her brother from Michigan. Anything.

Finesse it a little.

- OK?
- Yeah.

OK, go.

Dance?

Now, that's a nice look.

Nice look. Floor, good space. Floor...

Floors that are level.

I can probably use a regular dolly.

I bet you play the harmonica too.

Oh, I'm sorry. Jay Marshall Morrison.

I'm with Super Dimension Films.
We're shooting.

Dancing... I'll probably have to cable
all the power up.

We'd blow a fuse if we hooked them
to this system.

These old buildings
are never up to code.

Mr Tucker said you could make
a film in here?

- Yes.
- Well, look!

I mean, you should use this place.

Some of the girls could make
good extras

and some have danced in shows.

Ask me anything.

I mean, there is some stuff in here
that would be really great to shoot.

- What do you want to see?
- The ladies room.

The ladies room?

That's before I came here.

You know,
I had this kind of natural ability.

And Mr Jeeter said I was
a very promising actress.

But the high school play
was "Mr Roberts".

You know that's not that many
good girl parts in it.

So, I missed it. And then,
I came out here.

And you won't believe how tough it is.

My friend Sheeree
got a burger commercial

and they were looking for people
to sit around.

And she said she could get me in
if I got my card and all.

But then Sheeree got sick and was
replaced by this real short snotty girl

and I didn't get it.

And if the Roof here closes
like they say they might,

then I'll probably...

You know this locker room is perfect.
Just perfect!

We'll probably have to paint it pink
for the dream sequence.

But, that's 1,500 bucks.

Could I speak to Mr Tucker?

You're gonna...?

Yes!

Oh, I'll get him.

My name is Joe Lardner,
Susan Lardner's brother.

I live in Michigan and I came out here
to visit Susan. You know Susan?

- Yeah.
- Oh, good.

Anyway, so I came out from Michigan,
arrived this morning,

and Susan wasn't around.

Mom said she was working down here.

- Susan's mother is dead.
- Yes. I know that.

Who are you, buddy?

OK, I'm lying. I'm a private detective
on a case. I'm trying to find Susan.

I think she may be in trouble.

- I'm not through dancing.
- Hey.

- What?
- You ticket just got cancelled.

What do you mean, cancelled?

Let's get out of here quietly. You make
a sound and Split gives you the pipe.

And I feed you your tie.

There has been a terrible mistake.
I'm just here to dance.

Sure.

But not according to the girl up front.
We're bouncers here.

Susan's a friend, so we really want
to know what this is about.

Wait a minute. Where are you taking me?
I don't know...

No, you don't understand.
I'm trying to help her.

Hey, Split. Maybe you ought to give
this guy a hit with the doohicky?

Please, please don't do that.
See, the whole nature of the thing...

Let me give you the game here.
You see Mickey?

Yeah.

He's got a thing for Susan.
You know what I mean?

And he's worried on account of this
John Doe gets whacked here in the alley.

Whacked? What do you mean?

Whacked. You know,
one cap to the forehead?

The guy got splattered. It was
a real mop job right in this alley.

Someone got killed here tonight?

I'm gonna unhook this guy.

I'm tired of his stalling around.

- Who got killed?
- A John Doe. No ID.

And then Susan splits out of here
like she's got skates on.

And now you come around
asking questions about her.

You'd better start coming clean

or I'm going to let Mickey give you
a rimshot to your computer room.

- Like I said, I'm a private detective.
- OK.

- OK, what?
- Mickey.

Give him some white noise.

- No, stop that.
- Who the hell are you?

Excuse me, sir. Excuse me. It's alright,
Mr Whitney, no-one is going to harm you.

Remember our training.
The sensitivity lessons.

Hey, Jack, what's your story?

You, sir, have no idea of the damage
you're doing.

Damage? He's the guy who's asking
the questions. He's a PI.

He thinks he's a PI.
There's a great difference, sir.

Mr Whitney, it's OK to pretend
that we are detectives.

And nobody is gonna hurt you
if you want to play that game.

- What is he?
- He's an extremely distressed man, sir.

He's a CPI,
Constitutional Personality Interferia

with psychotic melodramatic
overtones, if you understand.

You've probably reverted the man.

Would you please put that away?

Oh, sure.

I'm Dr Howard Slater, Chief Resident
of the Middlewood Hospital.

I was doing reality therapy
on my patient.

This dance hall seemed
like the perfect place to try it.

I was obviously wrong. This is my fault.

It was a little premature.

Mr Whitney,
we're gonna go back to the hospital

and we'll sit down and talk this over
with Dr Heatherman and Dr Stucchi.

You like Dr Stucchi, don't you?
Yes, you do.

Now, just come along with me.
Come along.

Yes.

Come along.

Just come with me. It's OK.

We're leaving to see if Nurse Madison
can bring her delicious raisin cookies.

Don't look back.
Delicious raisin cookies.

We'll sit down and you can draw it
for me in your picture book. OK?

It's going to be alright.

Everything is going to be OK now.

The guy is a head case.

How did he know to ask about Susan?

Hey.

When it gets to this amount, stop.

Lionel.

You know,
I should have gone for a compact.

- Lionel?
- That was a disaster, a real disaster.

You need to learn to stay out of alleys.

We ended up chased out of there
with nothing.

We got her address,
that's all we needed.

You see...

1657, Carrington Drive, apartment 21 C,
North Hollywood.

- How did you get that?
- Those are dresses.

I figured they wouldn't
wear them on the bus to work.

That means lockers.

Lockers means personal little goodies.

In this case,
books on how to be a dental assistant.

- Name, address on the cover.
- That's pretty good of you.

Yeah, I'm pretty good
at this kind of stuff, you know?

I found out some guy got killed

in the alley behind that dance hall
tonight around eight, a John Doe.

Susan Lardner took off right after.

- Killed?
- Yes. Killed, whacked, a real mop job.

You don't have to savour the idea.
Death is contagious.

First, one guy gets it and you find them
dropping in clusters.

Why don't you wear your hair
like that? It looks really great.

You're Foxy Loxy.

Oh, I am, Turkey Lurkey?

- Yes?
- I'm Sam Hinsley.

The new assistant apartment manager.
I saw your light was on.

And tomorrow we're having a termite
inspection in the building,

This is Mike.
He's with Drop Dead Pest Control.

He'd like to look behind
your drain board, your refrigerator,

to make sure you haven't got
any access areas.

Access areas?

Behind your drain board
and your refrigerator.

If we find any, I'll need your key
and permission to gas in here.

Well, it's...

kind of late.

Oh, yes. It's very late and he is
on triple rate, so if you don't mind.

OK.

Thank you, thank you.

Yes. Come on in, Mike. Come on in.

Well, the kitchen is right over there.

You're not termite inspectors, are you?

Miss Lardner, no, we're not.
But we're trying to help you.

We know you're in trouble

and if we meant you any harm
we could have already done it.

Um... um... yes.

We were hired by a man to find you.
He gave us $1,000.

We don't know who he was
because I was blindfolded.

And he shot at us and we run,
but the client or the man got away.

What's the matter?

- Oh!
- What's the matter?

He's trying to kill me.

I know he is.

And then, this afternoon
I was in the ballroom.

Well, we open at four on Fridays.
Well, I saw him come in, you see?

I tried to run,

but they grabbed me and...

He was with this other man.

And then they took me out into the alley
and this third man,

the one that gave me the briefcase

and said he was from the gas company...

Well, he just appeared.

And then they started
shooting at each other.

And, well...

That's when I ran.

Listen, I really think
we ought to get out of here.

We can take down the details later.

Right. There must be a lot of people
who know where you live..

No.

I just moved.

Only a few people know.

The man from the gas company knows

and, well, Bill...

knows.

Bill?
The man who's trying to kill you?

Yeah.

He is.

I love this.

You see, I told Bill because he was
going to mail the cheque to me.

But then the man
from the gas company came

and he gave me this.

Yeah, I definitely think
it's time we leave, Lionel.

- Let's go.
- Wait, I didn't finish packing.

Forget the clothes. Let's just go.

Wait.

I need Clarence.

Who's Clarence?

Your new place?

This is nice! It's like in the movies.
You two must be very successful.

Yes, as the saying goes,
you have to hang your hat somewhere.

Better here than Poughkeepsie.

You scammed this place?

Look, Lionel,
would you just keep your feathers down?

I think we have a bigger problem here
with Susan over there.

You scammed it?

Look, it's just an apartment, right?

It's a place to bunk.

It was overpriced. Nobody was using it.
And believe me, they were delighted.

Delighted to let Senator Bringham
have it.

I'm Senator Bringham.

Look, the owners are writing it off
as a campaign sort of contribution.

So, there's no sweat.

- You are going to pay for it.
- What?

You are not going to scam people
any longer. You're on parole.

You're having our fees going right
into the manager's palm.

- We'll talk about that later.
- And the limo.

- We'll talk about it later.
- Later?

- You're incorrigible.
- I'm incorrigible?

I wonder if you can see Bill Kingman's
house from here.

I bet you can.

He lives in the hills.

He's got this cabana
where he shows motion pictures.

You know, that's where I think
I lost it.

Right there.

In the pool house.

While Barbra Streisand was singing
from the tugboat.

Not very romantic, I guess.

Well, what is these days?

Miss Lardner, allow me to introduce
myself. My name is Lionel Whitney.

This is my associate, E.L. Turner.

I want you to start from the beginning
and tell me everything.

Obviously, a lot is going on here

and people, as the saying goes,
die in clusters.

Well, you know who Bill Kingman is.

Son of Kingman Broadcasting, isn't he?

Oh, yes.

Radio, television, two newspapers,
a couple of ranches in Santa Barbara.

Avocados.

Gee, I hate avocados.

How do you know Bill Kingman?

Miss Lardner, you say you lost it.
Does it mean what I think it means?

Well, it means that I'm pregnant
with Bill's child.

Three months this Friday.

Obviously, he wouldn't want to marry
a little dance hall nothing.

You are not a nothing. You shouldn't say
those things. You're a...

You're very pretty.

If I was back at the Roseland Roof,

I'd ask you to dance.

I really would.

Um, would you go on, Miss Lardner?

Oh!

Yes.

Well, I asked Bill if he would help pay
for the hospital and everything.

You see, I figured,
once the baby is born, I'll be OK,

because I'm studying to be
a dental assistant at night school.

Well, you can really rake it in
with teeth. It's a very lucrative field.

Did Bill send you the money?

No, but he said he'd think about it.

And then, yesterday,

the man from the gas company
came and he read my meter.

Then, this afternoon the same man
from the gas company came

and, well, he gave me that briefcase.

- He said it was full of money.
- Yes, it sure is.

- Are there any thousands in there?
- Yeah, there are.

Let me see one of them.

Sure.

What you got in mind?

Look at these serial numbers.
They're about 50 digits apart.

I'd bet this bill came
from that bushel of money.

You know, Lionel?
We might have something here.

That means the man from the gas company,
either works for Kingman or somebody.

And Kingman was maybe
the guy in the yard, or the gas man was.

Who else?

I think we should take it to the police.

Right. First thing in the morning.

Nobody knows we're here.

We'll sack out and in the morning
we'll take it downtown.

Very good.

Oh, I want to thank you, guys.

I don't know why you're doing this,

but nobody's helped me...

really helped me since I left Omaha.

And well, LA Is a lonely town, you know.

Even working taxi dance,

you never really touch.

You never really...

make friends.

I'm going to bed.

To bed.

"Yeah, she was fragile
and they were trying to kill her.

"The slogan says that fat men are happy
but Savage says, 'Don't trust anyone'.

"Harry the Rip was about as funny
as a house fire.

"A jowly beast with more 'chins'
than the Hong Kong phonebook.

"And he was out there
trying to kill Lillian.

"Lillian, who'd finally slipped past
my high-wall, alarm-rigged personality.

"When I tried to talk to her, my words
fell like change on a ballroom floor,

"no light chatter from Mike Savage,
because he was hopelessly, devoutly,

"majestically, yeah, OK,
savagely in love."

Hold it right there.
Both of you.

You ain't going to ruin this girl.

You come after me
and I waste you both.

They weren't really doing anything.
They were just standing...

- Is there a service entrance?
- I just moved here.

Let's look.

This way!

Come on, get in the car.
And don't scream.

Check him out.

And I guess you're the man
from the gas company.

I couldn't just pay her, Dad.
I hope you see the problem I was facing.

It's like you always told me,
"Clean up your own messes".

How was I to know this guy was going
to fall back on me?

I hired him to find this girl,
the next thing I know,

he's jamming a gun in my face
demanding I pay her 40 grand.

I know, when I say it all at once
like this it sounds stupid.

I can hear how stupid it sounds,

but when it was happening
it didn't seem so stupid.

Three sons and all of them
are disappointments.

Your brother Robbie
shot in the back in Korea.

Your brother Tom up in Alaska somewhere
working with salmon and now you.

Next year we're going to run you
for governor and you pull this?

Look.

I got Stubby and Chick
from the ranch to help me.

Chick's dead, but we got the girl.

I hate to say it, Dad,
but I think we gotta kill her.

Maybe Stubby would take the heat
for us...

Stop it!

What're you doing?

Calling Stanley Korman in Las Vegas.

It ain't that bad.
I thought they'd hit a bone.

I went down like a ton of bricks.

So, you're a killer for hire.

Don't make it sound so creepy, kid.

What I do is sell a clean-up service
for people with loose ends.

But I only waste a target
if they deserve it.

I got my ethics intact.

What you do is grease people, whack
them. You put a cap in their foreheads.

You send them on the big downer.

Look.

Take the case of Susan.

This guy Kingman, he calls me up.
He says he wants her wasted.

The reason, she's carrying his kid.
And I ask you, "Is that right?".

So I go to meet this chick.
I want to get her on side.

I say I'm from the gas company.
She's a dumbo, but she's nice.

She don't want nothing
but the hospital costs from him.

So I'm saying to myself,

"This snail must be going through life
leaving a shiny trail on a sidewalk".

I go back
and I shove my gun in his chops.

I say, "You're coming across
with $40,000 or I'm gonna..."

And like the kid here says,
send you on a big over and out.

That's where the money came from.

I got back and gave it to her
this afternoon.

And I decide to watch this Kingman guy
in case he rebounds.

Sure enough, he goes to the ballroom
with two dustbusters.

But I follow them. I break it up.

It gets raunchy
and one of the cowboys sees it.

OK, my mistake. I'm not perfect.

And why would Kingman hire me?

He's angry. One of his employees
has just been killed.

He's going to kill the girl
and take back the money,

but he's still scared,
he might run into Joe.

So he hires you as the bird dog.

Can you believe a guy like that?

He's got millions and he's about to kill
over a child birth bill.

Yeah, it got to me too.

I got this kind of thing about broads.

I mean, I know I look like the back
of a truck, but I got feelings.

I've been watching what's been
going on in America.

And I'm for this ERW thing.

ERA?

Yes, that one. I think broads
oughta have their rights.

I wouldn't want them flying no airplane,

but when it comes to being klutz
and stuff

I say, "Hells' bells,
let's get liberal".

Yeah. Yeah.

Feminist hit man. Cute.

I heard a rumour that Kingman may be
trying to run his son for governor.

Maybe.

If this is true, he can't afford
to have an illegitimate child

with a taxi dancer for a mother.

All I know is that poor girl
is as good as gone.

No, she's not gone.

The three of us, we can do it.
We have the limo. I think it still runs.

Maybe she's up at the Kingman estate.
We'll rescue her.

You and me and E.L. OK?

It's OK with me.

Hey! Look...

You know, when it comes to things
like guns and killers and killing,

I mean, it's cool.

But I really feel there are people
who are more equipped

to handle this type of thing.

He's in.

Wait a minute.
Why do you think they took my picture?

And that's where we are, Stan.
It's a mess.

Your boy took a picture
of the detective?

Yes.

That's about the only smart thing
he did.

OK, Chase, I'll take care of it.

You've been good to us,
now it's our turn. Put your kid on.

- Hi, Stan.
- You messed up good.

Who told you you could go around
killing people? Don't answer.

I don't want your pop upset.

- You listen to me.
- Yes, sir.

This girl, you got her at the estate,
right?

Yes, sir.

OK. I'm sending a couple
of accountants.

Accountants?

They square accounts for me. Got it?

Adding machines - they're no bupkis.

- OK!
- And Bill.

Since you're the guy
who dropped this dinner,

I figure you got to help clean it up.

I don't want you telling your pop
anything.

He don't need to know
about these things.

But you meet the accountants
at the estate, ten o'clock tomorrow.

And you and the accountants are gonna
help pull the tail off this cat.

Then we find the guy you hired
and we load him into a cement truck.

He gets to be part of a bridge
my construction company is building.

Stan, why do I have to...?

That's the deal.

If you want to hate it, go ahead.

It' fine with me. Just be there.

Yes, sir.

You've got the number of Palm Springs
if you need me.

Relax, Dad.

Everything's going to be OK.

All we have to do is ice the girl and
later we put her and Whitney in cement,

like Mr Korman said.

Okay. Stubby's got her out back,
willing to take her wherever you want.

So, just... let me know
when you've done it.

Oh, Mr Kingman. We got orders from
Mr Korman that you got to come along.

What for? I mean, I'm an accomplice
anyway. Why do I have to watch?

You gotta do more than watch.

Mr Korman said you got to do the thing.
You're the trigger.

Me?

Yeah. We'll do Whitney,
but he says you gotta do Miss Lardner.

Mr Kingman.

- Are those the guys in the junk yard?
- Yeah!

The big guy and the little guy.
The others I don't know.

I know one of those guys from Vegas.

Carrots something.

I still think this is a job
for Skye King. C'mon.

OK, kiddo.
The governor mansion is waiting.

All you have to do
is quip the little bird

and we'll take care of everything else.

Shoot the gun out of this hand.

This ain't a movie.

I'm 20 yards, nobody can do that.

C'mon! We ain't got all day.

Now!

I did it.

It's OK, it's OK. Really, it is.

Don't cry. Don't cry.

We're here, we solved the case.

Lionel!

Oh, Lionel!

Lionel...

I know, I know. Don't cry.

Don't cry, it's over.

"Yeah, it was over.

"And Harry the Rip was eating
stale biscuits through a metal grate.

"I owed Shelly for the car I wrecked.

"Dr Tremain and his son were copping
a plea with the DA. And Lillian?

"Well, Lillian had moved in with me.
I know, it wouldn't last.

"She was restless
and already talking about going home.

"I looked down at her tender face,
ghostly and fragile.

"And pale as the six o'clock moon.

"They say love is blind, but Savage
says it can warm you or turn you cold.

"I didn't know how this would end.
I was afraid to turn the next page.

"Why don't you turn it? Don't be
disappointed if there's nothing there."

Lionel, turn that light off.

We got to get out of here
in the morning.

Will somebody get this cat
out of my bed?

Clarence.

Clarence!