Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 2, Episode 9 - Knowledge - full transcript

2x09 - "Knowledge"

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Temperature at 82 degrees.

Wind gusting from the
Southwest at 10 knots.

Clear skies.

The conditions are perfect for a...

beach day!

Sand castle!






- What did I do?
- You yawned, girl!

Don't you know that yawns
are contagious?

I have never heard that, no.

Everyone knows yawns cause sleep.
Except for Starfire, I guess.

Anyway, it's okay.
I think we caught it in time.

That was close.


It's not what you think.

Let's hit the beach, come on.

I'm sorry, old friend.
It has to be this way.


I'll never forget you, buddy.

Oh, man!

Well, Raven, looks like it's just you...

These naps will not
be taken in vain.

Must not yawn.

Must show off beach bod.

Oh, no! No, no, no, no, no.

We slept through the most perfect
beach day we'll see for the next...

One, two, then carry the four,
add the leap year...

Twenty four years?

I am sorry, fellow Titans.

- I did not know about the yawns.
- It's all right.

No, friend Cyborg, it is the
all wrong. This is not the first

time my ignorance of Earth
culture has ruined the merriment.

This new stereo is the bomb!

The bomb?

# it's time to break dance #

I will forever be the
celebration ruiner.

- Star, we love you just the way you are.
- Besides, the more you know,

- the bigger bummer you are.
- Like Raven.

- Whoa! I'm not a bummer.
- You're a total bummer, Raven.

Look at this chart and
you'll see there's a direct

correlation between
knowledge and being a bummer.

Here's Beast Boy and Cyborg.

Together they know virtually
nothing and everybody loves them.

- Thanks, man.
- Aw!

Here is me.
I don't know too much or too little,

Leaving people not feeling very strongly

about me in one way or another.

And here's you, Raven. You know
a lot and you bum everyone out.

I do not wish to be the bummer.

You okay, Star?

No, it has happened again.

- What?
- A misunderstanding.

Beast Boy asked me to set
him up on the blind date.

My eyes! My eyes!

Why did you burn my eyes?


I am the sorry!
And the hopeless.

Okay, wow. Do you want me
to teach you some stuff?

But will that make me the bum?

No way!
Knowledge is power, girlfriend.

I'll give you a crash course
in all things Earth.

I would prefer a course
without the crashing.

Which brings me to lesson one.

Common expressions. You don't
have to take everything literally.

You see, Star,

it's all about adding a little
style into what you're trying to say.

Here's how you do it.

♪ Don't say what you mean ♪

♪ but mean what you say ♪

♪ it sounds complicated
but it's easy in every way ♪

♪ don't say you're goin'
to sleep, nuh-uh ♪

♪ instead you're catching Z's ♪

♪ never say that things
were easy, no ♪

♪ just say that they were a breeze ♪

♪ instead of saying
watch how you spend ♪

♪ say money don't grow on trees ♪

♪ you see you say what
you got to say every day ♪

♪ with style, that's the key ♪

♪ don't say what you mean ♪

♪ but mean what you say ♪

♪ it's not that complicated, no ♪

♪ it's easy in every way ♪

You got this.

- You got it?
- I believe I understand.

- Your song was so kitten, dude.
- Kitten?

Yes, the kittens are good
and so your song was good.

Am I not meaning what I say?

Ugh. Clearly a song
is not gonna do it.

Oh, it is the okay.

My ignorance will always hold me back.

Okay, okay.
Lesson number two.

Azarath metrion zinthos!

Wear this magic relic tonight and in

the morning you'll know everything.

Oh, thank you, Raven.

So, I checked the
weather and today has all

of the perfect
conditions for a lake day!

Jet skis!




Yeah, 46% of lakes are too polluted
for recreational activities.

Ugh! Why are we talking
about numbers on lake day?

Because numbers reveal
undeniable facts, Beast Boy.

Like 1.2 trillion gallons of sewage
are dumped into lakes each year.

Sewage? Ugh!

Make her stop, Robin. These
facts are bumming me out.

- What's gotten into you, Starfire?
- Knowledge, Robin, that's what.

Raven, did you have
something to do with this?

I may have taught her a few things.
I was just trying to help.

This is what I wanted,
Robin. Now you won't

have to deal with me
ruining another occasion.

You just ruined lake day!

Knowledge is power, Robin.

- This will only make her stronger.
- Or a total bummer.

That book is so overrated.

I'll save you some time.
Everyone dies in the end.


Meditation can cause
problems ranging from

Muscle spasms to hallucinations.


You do know those toys
are for babies.


Okay, you were right.
She is kind of a bummer now.

But I still say it was an improvement.

You guys want to know where
hamburger meat comes from?

What happened to Starfire?

- Her brain is huge!
- That is just wrong!

- Raven!
- Okay, this is all my fault.

I used dark magic to give
Starfire all human knowledge.

Apparently it's expanding too rapidly.

If we don't go inside and
destroy it, her head will explode.

Azarath metrion zinthos!

Oh, look at all that knowledge.

It's unnatural and it's
growing at an alarming rate.

Then let's nuke some neurons!

Fact attack! Fact attack!

It's not working.
They're growing back, dudes.

This is worse than I thought.

We're gonna have
to take it out at the source.

This must be it.

Indeed! I am the source.

I am knowledge, facts and trivia!

So you're the one
who made her a bummer!

Yes, I am.

And when I'm finished, she'll be...

one hundred percent bummer!

Not on my watch.
Titans, go!

Seventy five percent of missiles
never reach their intended targets.

How did she know that?

Fire lasers!

Laser technology is not advanced
enough yet to inflict any real damage.

She's using facts and figures
to deflect our attacks!

Allow me to teach you another lesson.

Her knowledge is too powerful.

We don't stand a chance.

This is like shooting fish in a barrel.

The only way to fight
knowledge is with ignorance.

But I do not see the
fish or the barrels anywhere.

It is an expression, fools!

I mean destroying you
will be a piece of cake!

I like the cake.

May I have the strawberry flavor?

I'm just trying to put a
little style into what I say.

Defeating you will be a breeze.

Do you need the coat?

It's working.
She's weakened!

- Fire away, Robin!
- I've got one last fact for you!

The Titans win 100% of the time!

Wait, is that true?

How do you feel, Star?

I feel as if a thousand glinkglats
are dancing on my glipnorp.

- She's back!
- Oh, yeah!


I'm sorry, Star.

I shouldn't have used magic
to cure your ignorance.

I should have taken the
time to teach you the

old-fashioned way, with
books and calculators

and protractors and more books...