Teen Titans Go! (2013–…): Season 1, Episode 47 - Uncle Jokes - full transcript

Hoping to learn how to be actually funny - unlike Robin who can only tell "uncle jokes" - Starfire asks to join Cyborg and Beast Boy's twosome. Robin is upset as he feels this throws off the balance of the Tower and goes to the extreme to deal with it.

1x51 - Real Magic

You don't think I know
that she's a robot?

I know she's a robot.

But if she's really
part of the family,

why do they make her
sleep in a cupboard?

I mean, she can have a real bed.

Don't they realize
she's a small wonder?

Why does this show always
get you so worked up?

Yeah, it's supposed
to be a comedy, dude.


Oh, mumbo!

Titans, woah!

Magic show.

Oh, goody!

The Teen Titans. You'll
never be able to stop...

Do a trick! Do a trick!

Ooh, yes. We would
like to see the magic.

Oh... Okay.


- Flowers!
- They just came out of nowhere.

This isn't a magic show.

Can I get a dollar
from the crowd?

- Oh, I got one!
- No. Take mine! Take mine!

I've got 20, yo.

You're not supposed to be
giving the thief money.

- Amazing!
- How in the world does he do it?

- He is blowing my mind!
- Ooh!

Now for my final trick,
watch me disappear.

Into prison for 10 to 20 years.

- Ah, come on!
- Way to go!

- You totally ruined the show!
- Why must you hate the magic?

Oh, my goodness gracious!

- What are we gonna do?
- What? What happened?

Robin somehow removed the thumb!

Presto chango!

Oh, it's back on. It's
all good, people.

Oh, no! It's gone again!

What is going on?

Magic! Ah. That's what.

Seeing that creepy little
blue guy work miracles

has inspired me to do the same.

Hey, Beast Boy,
whoop, got your nose.

Wow, magic.

Someone call a doctor.

Put it back. I beg of you.

You guys think
that's impressive?

Azarath metrion zinthos.

Super lame.

I saw how she did that.
She just used a spell.

Yeah, great trick.

- Say, Beast Boy...
- What?

You appear to have something
lodged in your general ear area.

Uh, that's just my waxy buildup.

Not that. There's something
behind your ear.

Huh, what's that doing in there?

He pulled a coin from
behind Beast Boy's ear!

Do you keep the coins
behind your ear, Beast Boy?

No, dude, no. Never in my life.

Magic! Ah.


Why do you have to be
such a heckler, Rave?

I'm not! It's just that
Robin's magic is terrible.

- No, you hate everything.
- No, I don't.

Hate it.

Hate it.

Hate it.

Okay, so I can be negative.

But, Robin's dealing with forces
more powerful than he understands.

His terrible tricks are bound
to anger the Magic God.


The Magic God is responsible for keeping
the forces of magic in balance,

even terrible magic
like Robin's.

If you don't treat the powers
of magic with respect,

you'll be summoned by the Magic
God to face his judgment,

- and be eternally...
- Who's ready for more magic?

We are!

Titans, I'm about to perform
magic's most dangerous trick,

the water torture chamber.

I wouldn't try this
if I were you.

I know what I'm doing, Raven.
I saw it on the internet.

Beast Boy, could you help
lower me into the water?

This is just stupid.

Maybe we should get
him out of there.

He's fine, Rave, it's
called building drama.


Glorious water trick.

Guys! That beat the missing thumb.
The missing thumb.

What is wrong with you people?
He died.

That's what made it
such a great trick.

Yes, anybody can
survive a trick.

Well, you can't play
around with this stuff.

Magic is not a game!


Keep it up, and you'll be
summoned by the Magic God.

And believe me, you don't
wanna deal with him.

You don't get it, Raven.
I am a Magic God.

Hummus. Hate it.

Schnitzel. Hate it.

Chicken marsala. Hate it.


What's wrong with
my magic, today?

Hey, uh, Rave, you busy?

Uh, so...

I was, uh, doing some magic...

and then this happened.

No wonder my magic's off.

You finally upset the Magic God,

and now, all magic
is out of balance.

Why didn't you listen to me?

I thought you were
just being negative.

Whoa! What's... What's going on?

Stand before the Magic God.

You have displeased me.

Unless you can impress
me with some magic,

you will be banished
to the mines forever!

Forgive him, great Magic God.

Robin knows not about
his misuse of magic.

Show me a trick, or to
the mines, you two.

Let me handle this.

Azarath metrion zinthos.

Hate it. To the mines, you two.

You can't send Robin
to the mines.

He won't last a day down there.

It's not Robin I'm sending to
the mines, you silly fool.

You have upset the Magic God

by pooh-poohing all of
his fine magic tricks.

- Me?
- Yes!

The Magic God hates hecklers.

I know, total downer.

Now, did you say you want
to see some magic? Ah.

Is this your card?

That was my card.


Where did the ball go?

- Whoo!
- Magic!

A coin? Behind my ear?

How absurd and marvelous!
Bravo! Bravo!

You are incredible, Robin.

But she is still to be
banished to the mines forever!

Please, great Magic God,
give Raven one more chance.

I promise she will
not disappoint.

Look, my thumb is missing.

Delightful! Amazing!
You have pleased me.

You both may go.

Sorry, Robin. Your
magic may be terrible,

but I can't hate things just
because they're terrible.

From now on I'm gonna work
on being more positive.

That's it? You're not
gonna say anything?

I was wondering where that went.

How many of the pongs
does he have in there?

Gajillions. Who knows?