Switch (2012–…): Season 1, Episode 3 - Episode #1.3 - full transcript

Stella has not had a relationship since splitting with Lucy,the other girls casting a spell to make Stella forget her. When Lucy reappears therefore Stella initially fails to recognize her but is soon falling in love with her. Unfortunately Lucy is loud,hyperactive and ultimately violent and when she tries to turn Stella against the rest of the coven Stella ends the affair and is ready to move on. Hannah lands a job testing security systems but finds she is merely being used to shop-lift by her con man boss and the girls get their own back on him with a spell whilst Jude charms her way into a fashion house with her designs but feels a fraud and eventually sets up a market stall with Hannah selling her designs. Grace finds herself falling even further for Gerry though he is technically Jude's boyfriend.

[music playing]

I'm worried.

What?

Too short?

About Lucy coming over.

Have we done the
right thing inviting

Stella's mad ex around?

It just feels a bit extreme.

Shouldn't we have explainedthings to Stella first?

Eased her in a bit?

What's he saying?



Bull fighter.

Why are you wearing sunglasses?

I'm hungover.

Look, it's the first
day as a manager,

and I'm going to be breathingZambuka over everyone.

In a shit outfit.

Poor stout.

She's out there now, innocentlytucking into her corn flakes.

No idea that the doorbellis about to ring, and-- ugh.

No.

I mean, surely
there's another way

to lift the spell
without bringing

Lucy back into our lives.

Is there any chance thatyou could help me out, please.



This is a DEFCON
1 clothing crisis.

[sigh]

No.

This is the right thing.

Yeah, Stella needs to move on,so she can fall in love again.

And if the only way she can dothat is to confront her past,

then we have to lift
this memory spell.

We're ready for Lucy, aren't we?

I said, we're ready
for her, aren't we?

Yes.

Course we are.

Bring it on!

You look shit-hot.

[door buzzer]

Oh, Christ, it's her.

[sigh]

WOMAN: Jude, post for you.

[theme music]

That hangover cure done yet?

Where are you off to?

Look, it's time to step upand take this job seriously.

I have to accept that
I'm not going to be

a fashion designer anymore.

I'm a manager.

You know, loads of peoplewould love to be managers.

Managers are-- [grunt].

What about being creative?

I'm in charge of thewindows, Blay, that's creative.

Welcome to adulthood, my friend.

All right, hold your nose.

Knock it back.

Ugh.

Shit, Grace.

You're good.

Watch out, lords.

There's a new boss in town.

Hm hm.

[door closing]

[door buzzer]

I'm going to staple
these to her hand

if she forgets them again.

First rule of management,a person or organization--

Stells, you dick.

It's me!

GRACE: Hi, Lucy.

Who is she?

Sorry for the shambles, girls.

I've been through
an all nighter.

I'm feelings a tad--

You'd better come in.

I was in Ibiza.

I was in Stonehenge.

I was in Betty's Tirem Haregut.

Guess who chose that?

It'll all come back
to you in a minute.

We went out with each other.

It was the real deal, bambino.

The thing is--

Can we explain to her, please?

You and Lucy went out witheach other five years ago.

[SILENTLY] Shut up.

- [SILENTLY] She's a witch.- Ah, babes.

But I'm not in the coven at themoment, though, so if you're

planning on doing anotherdisappearing act, let us know,

Hannibal.

Please don't call me Hannibal.

Everything was
going fine, Stell.

Everything was not going fine.

Hello, if I just travel
back into a time machine

where none of you had
to let me bloody speak,

everything was going fine.

We did argue, but
who doesn't argue.

It was a bit fiery, Stell, butthat's why you loved me, babe.

I did not love you.

Yes Yes, you did.

But then we had this big
row, then we split up.

And then this lot suggestedthat you do a memory

spell to forget about me.

Stella, it was your idea.

Allegedly.

[burp] Excuse me, sick burp.

You were in pieces all thetime when you were with her.

It was horrible.

We think this is why you'renot connecting with anyone.

You can't fall in love againuntil you remember Lucy

and get over her properly.

[music playing]

Can I get someone
into the stock room

to sort out that
delivery, please?

Can you not see what
I'm going through here?

What's happened?

Miles just e-mailed.

Duncan's got him
a job in New York.

He's left already.

Aw, sorry.

I might have to go home.

No, you can't go home,
we're short-staffed.

Why are being such a bitch?

I am literally having
a break down here.

I'm manager now.

I've got responsibilities.

Look, 20 unanswerede-mails from head office.

I can't afford to be
a slacker anymore.

Oh!

O- M-F-G. Look at
the color of those

reams/ I think I've just diedand gone to fashion heaven.

Rodger Simons, the new art-fenteterrible of the fashion world,

is blowing everybody out ofthe world with his designs.

Fuck me.

I don't think so, darling.

Not unless my gaydar isseriously out of batteries.

I went to school with him.

Well, he was a dick.

He was the uncoolest,
fattest kid in the--

no way.

Yes way, girlfriend.

He didn't even take
art as an option.

I want to vomit.

I can't look.

Read the e-mail.

[sigh] He's designing
a cultural range for us.

He chose us.

He didn't want it to
get out, apparently.

It's only creatives that havebeen kept in the loop so far.

Creatives?

Right.

Brilliant.

You need to share a special,truthful memory with Lucy

in order to lift the switch.

You know, something youexperienced together, which,

you know, meant something.

Oh, my sweet spirit.

I know, contortionist,
Isn't she?

[cabinet door]

There must be something else.

Anything?

Hang on.

Where did you get
your necklace from?

Um.

Ah.
Photo?

No.
I can't remember.

Glastonbury, 2007.

Ring any bells?

We nearly got married in
the inflatable church.

Then you took a knock
and we had to carry you

to first aid in a wheelbarrow.

Liabilities, bloody always.

[music playing]

[knocking]

Stella, open the door.

Why haven't you gone?

I want to talk to you.

Well, I don't
want to talk to you.

I know you remember thatStell lived to die so rich.

No, It didn't.

Piss off.

Open the door.

Stell.

Stelly Jelly Belly.

What have I said
about calling me that.

Hello, sweetheart.

[music playing]

WOMAN: Hello?

I'm not changing my mind.

Do we intervene?

This is good.

This is what needs to happen.

One last showdown, then it'sover and Stella can move on.

But can we handle oneof their showdowns though?

Don't worry, you'll be fine.

You can't leave me
on my own with them.

I have to go out, Ineed to find a proper job.

Switch me if it goes tits up.

WOMAN: What do you need
from your memories?

It's trivializing-- No!

This is typical of you.

[shouting]

[music playing]

Sorry, is it Beth?

Oh, my mistake.

You're the double of a womanI interviewed last week.

Did she get it?

Sorry?

Did she get the job?

Oh, she wasn't
right in the end.

We're looking for
a maverick, someone

with dynamism, you know, who'sreally up for a challenge,

really ballsy.

I'm looking for a job.

Why don't we call the middleman and you interview me now?

How about that for ballsy?

The thing is it-- it
might not be for you.

Hit me with it.

OK.

I work for a company calledTestsure Security Limited.

We're employed by a
number of corporations

to test the efficiency oftheir security systems,

check everything's
working as it should.

This position is for someoneto target security guards,

and ensure they're
up to scratch.

A new operative would
visit designated stores

and attempt to elicit goods.

You're paying
someone to shoplift?

To put it crudely,
yeah, we are.

If you're successful, thenwe know the security's lacks

and we return the goods
with a full report.

If you get caught you
simply present the store

with this, which
verifies that you're

working on behalf of Testsure.

So I'd be like an
undercover agent.

Kind of.

This is my dream job.

I didn't even know it existed.

It's like the jigsaw pieces ofmy life are falling into place.

Now, what about experience?

Boots, every
Saturday when I was 15.

Eyeliners, now vanished the lot.

All that we can mix.

Swapped all the color
bottles in one go once.

I'm discreet, trustworthy,a team player,

and if you give me achance I'll prove myself.

Now, this type of workis completely confidential.

It totally jeopardizes
our business

if we discuss it with anyone.

OK, look, I like you.

What about a trial?

See how you get on.

Thank you, Julian.

Welcome to Testsure, Hannah.

Jealousy is a tiger thattears not only its prey,

but also its own raging heart.

Can you be happy for him?

He struggled academically,and now he's hit the big time.

It's inspirational.

No, I struggled academically,where did that get me?

Huh?

Just because I wasn't some worldcollector to get to the top.

You know, he spent his
work experiencing Paris.

I was in a jam factory
in Borehamwood.

Excuse me, are
you the manager?

Look, I bought this
last week, and then

I've only worn it
once, and already

the seam started to come away.

What do you expect?

It was 25 quid.

[door close]

What are you doing?

Lucy came over.

The switch has been lifted.

Oh, any breakages?

Oh, yeah, it's
been fairly quiet.

You're early.

Oh, I hate my stupid shit job.

You've got to do something.

I know I said I was going togrow up, and I am, I swear,

but please can we
charm my portfolio?

I don't want to manage
one of the shops,

I want to design for them.

[sigh].

Has she always been
that impossible?

Yup.

Fancy doing a quick switch,take your mind off it?

I'm not really in the
right head space, Jude.

Good news and bad news.

Good news, got a job.
- Brilliant.

Bad news is, if
I tell you what

it is I'll have to kill you.

This is the one I've
been waiting for.

Right.

She's been gone
an hour, and she's

landed the job of her dreams.

I've been designing foryears, I deserve some help.

Spirit please,
let those in charge

recognize this talent large.

All she needs is--

Stella.

Just keep going.

All she needs
is one big break.

Zeal she can no longer fake.

[music playing]

OK.

So you know the drill.

Hysterical screaming,
a couple long silences,

and I am straight in there.

All right, portfolio.

TIme to work your magic.

Do you think you could
take over in a bit?

Sorry, got to start
while your hand's hot.

[door close]

Oh, come on, that's notfair, where are you going?

I told you, no questions.

WOMAN: Everything
is coming back.

Don't you worry.

WOMAN: Oh, and wiping
me from your memory

doesn't trivialize it.

No.

Oh, thank you very much.
Typical.

You haven't seen
me in five years.

[door buzzer]

I'll take over again in a bit.

Only want a little break
to go to the toilet.

Hey.

Hey.

Well, you just missed her.

If you run you'llprobably catch her there.

Oh, no.I'm not here to see Jude.

Just came to get my guitar.

Oh, right.

Great.

Is that OK then, if
I come in and get it?

Oh my God, yes.

Come and get it.

Your guitar.

Operation Testsure,
May 20th, 2012.

Arrived at destination.

Target in sight, I'm going in.

[music playing]

[sigh]

I don't even know what
you're still doing here.

Yes, I remember everything.Job done.

Thank you.

Now can you go, so I
can get on with my life.

Can you though, Stell?

Can you seriously get onwith your life without me?

So I'm nothing to you anymore?

I'm just bloody dead to you?

Throw me a bone, Stella.

OK.

So we had some good times.

At last, thank you.

But they were
mostly bad, Lucy.

What if I told you I changed?

Well, it's besides the point.

It's gone.

We can't go back.

We can.

We can go back to the future.

That doesn't even make sense.

The best things in life don't.

I'm not leaving from thisbed until you hear me out.

This is officially
a peaceful sit-in.

[music playing]

Hi.

I'm here to see the
creative director.

Can I take your name, please?

Yeah, the thing is shedoesn't actually know me.

I mean, I haven't actually
got an appointment.

All I want is two minutes.

I brought my por--

Folio.

Yeah, if you could ask her tocome down, or I could leave it.

No unsolicited material.

Look, Wendy.

Do you really
think reading my name

badge is going to impress me?

PHOEBE: Did anything
come for me?

Yes, this arrived by courier.

Excuse me, where are you going?

Hi, I'm a designer,
and I wonder if you

could spare 10 seconds, please.

[music playing]

It's OK.

I'm good.

Could you spare
the time to come

up to my office for a chat?

It has not been
easy for me, Stella.

That's all I'm trying
to communicate here.

I hated the thought
that you wanted

to wipe me out of your head.

It was the only
way I thought I

could draw a line under itfor good, just press delete

and move on.

I'm not one of yourExcel spreadsheets, Stella.

Were you?

Of course I was.

So was I. Still am.

I made a massive
mistake, and I spent

every second of the pastfive years regretting it.

There's an exercize
book under the bed

full of poems to prove it.

About me?

Well, some of
them were political,

but yes, they were
mainly about you.

I'd do anything to
put things right.

It's a bit late now.

I don't think it is.

[music playing]

OK, everyone.

Slight change to the agenda.

As you know, since
John Paul left us

we've struggled to find
somebody with an equally

exciting vision.

Meet Jude.

[music playing]

Jude, what would
you say to coming

on board as our head designer?

I'd say, yes, please.

[applause]

I've got my own office,and it's bigger than my frat.

O- M-F-G. O-M-F'ing-G. I'mcocking hyperventilating.

I know.

What should I tell work?

Well, tell them they canshove their poxy manager's

job right up their--

Jude, it's the head
designer's task to lead

the weekly team meetings.

Right.

OK.
Um.

When does that-- ?

Fridays at 11:00.

[beeping]

Hi everybody.

That's right, squeeze in.

Oh, here come some more of you.

So, how does this, um,what normally happens in--

what exactly happens
in these meetings?

Because I know every
company is different,

and I don't want to
just storm in here and--

Can you describe your
vision for next year's

spring summer arrange?

Absolutely!

Spring, summer.

I'm thinking fabrics,lots of different fabric.

Cambressini and Beretta havebeen quite popular for spring

some of the past few seasons.

Are you going to
continue with those?

Or do you think you'll
switch to something

heavier like, Zebulunay?

Yes.

Anything else?

Are you going to
follow the trend

for swockets, warts, and moobs?

How dare you.
You know what?

I'm not even going todignify that with an answer.

I think we've
covered everything.

[guitar playing]

That was ace.

Ah, I wish I could
play an instrument.

Are you familiar
with the tambourine?

Ah.

Here.

Just shake the fuck out of it.

[music playing]

[laughs]

All right, you
own that tambourine!

Ah, thank you.

Yeah, definitely.

You're ace, you are.

What?

Well, I can't hear a thing.

Not a good sign.

No.

Prolonged silences orhysterical screaming, both bad.

Ah!

God!

[music playing]

Anyone sitting here?
Great.

New girl, getting
to know the mates.

[laugh]

Hi, I'm Jo.

I'm the intern.

Great.

How are you getting on?

I love it.

Designing is all I've
ever wanted to do,

I want to be you, basically.

Can I-- Can I ask
you a question?

Shoot.

How did you get here?

I mean like, what
did you do before?

Uh, You're a fashion
intern, and you've

never heard of Jude Thomas?

Oh God, I am so sorry.

I'm usually really up to
speed with the industry.

It's fine.

You can't know everything.

[sigh] I try to keep on
top of everything, but I

just don't have time anymore.

Not with all of my other work.

You have another
job apart from this?

Three.

I can't afford to
do it otherwise.

We haven't had this
much for a while.

Well, that head office arenot going to be impressed.

This particular
store is problematic.

You should go back in, so wecan file a conclusive report

and deliver our findings on it.

He won't get
the sack, will he?

Hopefully, yeah.

Can't they send them
on a training course?

This is business.

It's cutthroat,
wheat from chaff.

You eliminate the chaff, youdon't keep watering the chaff.

What are you Hannah?

Are you wheat or chaff?

Wheat?

You're wheat.

You are wheat.

Now, get out into that field.

That was--

Oh my God.

How did you even get
your legs that far?

Really?

Stella's lay back
back is over, Gracie.

Why didn't you knock?

Hysterical screaming
or prolonged silences.

So what is this?

Are you two back together?

Well, we're getting--

just play it by ear.

We'll see how it goes.

Connecting again.

Oh, yeah, well,
you certainly were.

We're not going toconnect properly if we don't

give it a proper go, are we?

[sigh]

I am wheat.
I am wheat.

I am wheat.

[music playing]

He won't get
the sack, will he?

Hopefully, yeah.

[music playing]

[SILENTLY] Tell your dad.

Tell your dad.

Madam, can I see what you'reconcealing under your coat?

Ah, thank God.

I'd thought you
would never notice.

You are one shit-hot
security guard.

You should be
promoted or something.

I'm from Testsure.

Well done, mate.

Call the police, Gordon.

No no no, hang on, I'mwaiting for my official ID card

to come through, but thisshould be enough for now.

Security?

Never heard of them.

With five sugars.

Wicked.

Thank you.

Look, Jude, I know
you're really busy,

and this is probably large,I was just wondering if--

I'm sorry.
You're really busy.

It's OK.

Go on.

Can I show you my portfolio?

Of course.

Joe, these are fantastic.

Really?

Yeah, you're like
properly talented.

Thank you.

Look, I don't mind
working for nothing

here if it gets me to
where I want to be,

but I was just wondering
if there's anything

else I should be doing?

I mean, I don't have any
contacts or anything,

but if you've got any advice--

I don't think there
are any shortcuts.

Just got to work reallyhard and trust that you'll

We need costings doing
and fabrics ordered.

Can you take care of it?

Um, If you're after a
bit more responsibility,

do you want to
take care of this?

You'd-- you'd, um,
trust me to do that?

Of course.

Heh.

[running footsteps]

Ha Hum.

All better, Luce.

Shh.

Me and Lucy are going
to Ibiza for four weeks.

Woo hoo!

Bring on the style, baby!

What about work?

Well, if Janet
doesn't like it, then--

She can bloody welllump it, then, can't she?

You love your job.

Woman's tea, please, Stell.

[door close]

Has anyone been
around looking for me?

Like, anyone official?

I'm in serious shit.
- What?

With what?

[laugh]

What is wrong, babe?

Lost another job?

Not a lot of changes
around here, Is it?

No, she can't talk about it.

It's top secret and
really important.

Hannah's going places now, Lucy.

I am, yeah.

[laugh]

If the door goes,
I'm not in, OK?

OK.

Take it another
crisis, Judy, now, then?

Ah, yeah.

Thank you so much,
that was lots of fun.

Yeah, you didn't-- um.

[sigh] Thank you.

Yeah, all right.

Did Jude mention my gig tonight?

I don't know if
you're around but--

A gig?

Hell yeah, we should all go.

House night out.

You're not still, uh,agoraphobic, are you, Grace?

Never been agoraphobic.

I just-- I didn't like goingout, but, you know, I do now.

I go out all the time.

Bloody mad for it.

Cool.

I'll stick your
names on the door.

Heh.

Pushing your comfort
zone a bit there, Grace.

I like it.

Opposites attraction, all that.

What?

Oh, no, that's some
Jude's boyfriend.

Fling.

Person.

I don't know, but um--

My mistake,
stick, wrong end of.

[laugh]

[music playing]

What the hell is going on?

I've just had the
supplier on the phone,

these costings are all out,and every single fabric order

is wrong.

That wasn't
actually me though.

Then who was it?

Joe.

The intern.

Well, she said she
could handle it, I--

Right.

How dare you assume thatyou can make an order!

Do you know how much time andmoney that you have cost me?

I--

Now get your
things and get out!

Get out!

[crying]

What is that?

Is it wheat?

I think I've just eaten wheat.

Yes, it's wheat.

Why?

I'm allergic.

It could lead to
a fecal impaction.

Oh.

Oh.

Let's get you to bed, babe.

No, don't move me.

[door close]

What is that imbecile
doing in my house?

Stella and Lucy
are back together.

And she's moved in.

A littl shindig datetonight to celebrate, Judy.

Proper party, like
the good old days.

Are you sure you'll
be well enough?

No, I don't think
I'll be well enough,

but I don't want
to let anyone down,

Hannibal, it's not my style.

I'm going to gig, actually.

In fact, it's sort
of a date, so--

I know.

Grace told us.

We're all going.

No, that's not, I--

didn't--

Ah, look at this,
we're all back together

like the good old days.

Can I get a group hug about now?

Oh!

[music playing]

OK.
Crisis talks.

What do we do?
- Totally.

First, though, can
I have five minutes?

Why?

A bit of a majorfuck-up on the work front.

Basically I'm a major
cow with no morals,

and I just don't think--

Yeah, and I've got a
slight possible fugitive

situation on my hands--

You two are so selfish.

We are responsible for
Stella's happiness,

and all you're bothered
about it yourselves.

All right, enough
miss moral high ground.

You started this and
now you're shitting it

because it hasn't gone to plan.

[sigh] Look, we're not
responsible for Stella's

happiness.

The spell has beenlifted, and if she chooses

Lucy in the cold light ofday, we might not like it,

It's her choice.

Yeah.

I suppose.

Sorry.

What did you both
want to talk about?

It's all right, I knowwhat I'm going to do now.

The less you know, the better.

I'm not bringing
you down with me.

I created this mess and
I will get myself out,

even if takes years
to clear my name,

I will fight to the
end for justice.

There'll probably be a film.

It's not going to last anyway.

Do you reckon?

Not a change.

[music playing]

I want to make a bloody
toast to second chances.

Woo, second chances.

[giggles]

I don't trust her as
far as I can throw her.

[laugh]

I don't even think she's going.

I swear she keeps
giving Jerry the eye.

It's not like
you to get jealous.

I'm not jealous.

I couldn't give a shit, I justdon't want her dicking Stella

around again.

So you're not really
bothered about him then?

Don't know.

But he does look fit witha guitar, doesn't he?

Stell, are you
sure about this?

Yeah, of course I am.

It's just, it was apretty intense relationship,

Lucy can be quite
demanding for long.

If you were to have met Lucyfive years ago, she's changed.

Heh.

And anyway, you
haven't got the right

to dictate how I live my life.

You've done enough
of that already.

- Stell!- Yeah, a bit harsh, mate.

Well, as harsh
as it was for me

spending years trying
to figure out why

I couldn't have a relationship.

Not fair.

That switch was your idea.

Yeah, and we onlyagreed in the first place

because we hated
seeing you so sad.

And now you hate
seeing me so happy.

No.

No.

Well, then, can you just letme get on with my life, please?

You have done enough damage.

[chair moving]

[band music playing]

[beep]

I'm so sorry.

I'll be two seconds.

Stell, um, there's been abit of a thing with my card

to the bar, could you?

Um.

I'm so sorry.

Stella's not your
cash cow, Hannah.

Cash cow?

It's 15 quid.
- It's fine.

Here.

We talked about this.

You promised.

Things are going
to be different.

No more mothering.

Little bit of R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

Argh.

After party?

Back at ours?

Come on, everyone!

Woo hoo!

Come on, I'll
lend you the money.

[music playing]

SINGER: [SINGING]
If I was invisible,

I'd make you miserable.

No broken promises.

I won't have none of this.

If I was invisible,
I'd make you miserable.

You are the world.

If I was invisible,
I'd make you miserable.

No broken promises.

I won't have none of this.

If I was invisible I'd
make you miserable.

You are the one that I adore.

Just letting life go by.

We both have seen you with him.

I never held my reaction.

I'm never gonna love again.

I don't know.

Where will I be in a year?

It's hard to say.

Will I ever get another chance?

I don't know.

I'll have to start
all over again.

All the things you told me,they don't mean nothing at all.

[door open]

[sigh]

Shit.

I thought this was the bathroom.

Oh.

Hm.

Bit mental in there.

I thought you'd like mental.

Not all the time.

Well, this is not
like Jude's room.

No.

She is messy.

Not that that's a bad thing.

It's because she's so creative.

I'm not slagging her off.

She's my best friend, you know?

I love her.

Yeah, no, of course, so do I.I meant, I don't love love her.

I don't even-- you know,
she's great, fantastic.

She is, yeah.

She's amazing.

Amazing.

She's really kind and funny.

She's hilarious.

And gorgeous.

Oh, yeah, she's--

fucking beautiful.

[screams]

What are you doing with me?

All right, that's it!

Everybody out!

Party's over!

Now!

Calm down.

Calm down?

Don't tell me to
calm down, you shite!

Lucy, this is crazy.

Crazy?

Do you want to see crazy?

I'll give you crazy!

Oh, shit.

Knife drawer.

It's all right,
it's only a whisk.

[angry screaming]

Could somebody
help me out, please?

All right, enough is enough.Lunatic.

I hardly think you'vegot any room to criticize.

Stella, these people
aren't your friends.

They're just using you.

No.

I'd button it if I
were you, Mary Poppins.

They're a gang of losers.

Well, they might be losers,but they're my losers.

Now, Get the fuck
out of my house!

Oh, I see, straight back tothe cover like a bloody puppet.

Nothing's changed, has it?

No, it hasn't.

Good bye, Lucy.

[door close]

[music playing]

SINGER: Everything.

Everything's better now.

It doesn't matter how'cause everything's better.

Yup.

Yup.

But you're free now, Stell.

Yeah, and we didn't
even use magic.

Well, if anyone fancies
a little switch now.

Yeah.

Definitely.

What's it for?

Actually it's a
bit embarrassing.

It's about my new job.

Something of his.

[bubbling]

Spirit kind, spirit
wise, our friend's

been told a pack of lies.

Given an unlikely brief,turned into a common thief.

Teach this rogue a lesson fast.

Let this scam be his last.

From now until the day he dies,vanish him from telling lies.

[music playing]

My name is Rupert Peabody,and I'm a pathetic con-man

with an incredibly small penis.

You want to leave?

Already?

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

This is an amazingopportunity, it's just I've got

other things in the pipeline.

I'm setting up on my own.

It's a bit of a risk, but Ineed to see if it will work.

There's nothing I can sayto persuade you to stay?

I've made up my mind.

Thank you.

Also, there's, um,something I should tell you.

It was my fault,
not the intern's.

I see.

She's actually brilliant.

You should look at her work.

Maybe offer her a
proper paid role.

[music playing]

SINGER: Hey.

So nice to meet you.

[phone ringing]

SINGER: Did you
dream of me, too?

Well, fancy that.

- You still ready?
- Yeah!

Come on down!

Woo!

Haha.

SINGER: Fills my
heart with sunshine.

Living life on cloud nine.

You make me feel so good.

When you're around me,
every day is Sunday.

A million miles from Monday.

You make me feel good.

Jude, this is the best
idea you've ever had.

I love it already.
Everyone's so friendly.

Fuck off, Baz, you big old twat.

He's hilarious.

Come on.

Oh, Jackie, you're a diamond.

All right, come on.

Let's get this show on the road.

Are you sure we're
doing the right thing?

Shut up.

I don't know why we'venever thought of it before.

I deal with the retail side.

This is me, it's perfect.

It is.

What have you got to lose?

You can still work in the shop.

Where's the rest?

I've been up all night.

This is what you get
without using magic.

It's a start.

Yeah, baby steps.

But this is the way
to do it though, Jude.

The lot!

Oh, hello.

[kissing]

Oh, look who it is, thathot girl that was chatting you

up in the pub the other night.

Either you go by yourself,or we will drag you over.

Hi.

Love is definitely in the air.

[laughs]

Oh, customer.

Go.

[music playing]