Stromberg (2004–2012): Season 5, Episode 2 - Frau Papenacker - full transcript

Nope! Higher!


Nope, not at all. Left!

Other links.


Do not drill new holes.

Before Becker's return
the right images again.

Now I am here.

- Transitional.
- We'll see.

I can't cough these things
cough them up against the wall.

Take the old hooks.

The hand that feeds you is not a
break snack, Mrs. Papenbecker.

Uh ... Acker.
Now put that there!


Hello? You German? You hear?
Go there, come!

Whatever you say, boss.

[Drilling machine]

That's pretty neat.
As a division manager

you can choose the whole facility.

Chairs, pictures, all the bells and whistles.
I didn't know that.

They give you
a catalog in your hand.

Now you can say, here, the picture,

here, I have by the way, nice,

the hydroponics, the chairs,

I have now also a parking place on E1,
right here in front.

The offices downstairs are like
a journeyman's piece from a coffin maker.

I'll say. Whereas up here the,

will not say all first cream,

but already cream.

No, definitely cream.

Not as fudgy as down there those.

Contentwise, of course, hell.

That's clear. But now practically
a 5-star hell,

I'll say. And what is the most beautiful thing:

With room service.

Show times? Watch out ...

Is this great?

That's taken care of, Mrs. Papenacker.
Thank you.

Is that great?

Well, not her, of course. That's

more petty than a kilt.
No humor. But still.

So, ah ...

Ah yes.

[Theme music]

[Ernie recites.]
Always chipper, pug-cheerful,

Yes, this is our Mrs. Kehl.

Today is her birthday,

even if she has 's heavy on the stomach.

Tell her to forget that today.

And eat cake instead.

Also meatballs with salad,

Yes, today nothing is spared.

[Tanja] Big time, Ernie.

When friends come and family,

Then there's salmon and parsley.

[Tanja] Great.

We wish her above all things,

May the surgery succeed.

Real good, Ernie.

Really good now, eh?

To live another 30 years,

no, still twenty ... still many a year --

How many more stanzas?

This is for Mrs. Kehl
from the community!

[Jennifer] Yes,
But I want to work here.

But Mrs. Kehl makes awesome cookies.
You don't.

- So.
- Then have your picnic somewhere else.

I think it's really great, Ernie.

Most people think it's really great.

Let the Jennifer work
work in peace. Come on, take off!

Bss, bss ...

Take off!

When you are soon old
nobody does anything.

A bunch of chickens, ne?

Shall I kill another dragon?

Thanks, I'll be fine.


Wow, these are delicious!

[Ulf] You add.
insert the file number here,

pull the whole
shit down here, and ...

machste that 40 years until retirement.
Horny or?

- Not really...
- Watch this.

Municipal crematorium,
what can I do for you?

You have dialed the wrong number.

You take care of the fun here yourself.
That was the stole from the 5th row.

She is so cool. Already easily over 40,

but always in heat.
Had to look at you absolutely.

Now you do it.

Yes, now you do it.

Steinke butcher shop ...

Yes, Steinke is of course ...

Everything is okay with your ovaries?

How gross is that one?

Hello? Yes, it's me.


Nope, none.

I thought that was just today at noon.

Nah, it was me from the beginning.

Hello, Mrs. Steinke!
Now come down again.

What did you do now?

- What did you do?
- I don't know.

Yeah, great.

Aw man, go away.

- Mr. Stromberg, can I ask something?
- No.

I wanted to know
if there are any plans now ...

What did I just say?

No does not mean yes.
Stupid doesn't mean smart either.

Then you would be especially smart,
but you wouldn't have to ask me anything.

Someone has to take over the deputy management

- As long as you represent Becker.
- Bullshit.

You can't
both here and--

What I can and cannot do,
even if I couldn't,

do you know who I would
the very last person I would ask?

And why are we doing this here now?

Mr. Stromberg makes his debut.

With air sausages, or what?

A bit poor for an area manager.

What was Kabisch thinking?

- Who?
- Nix, as usual.

He just wants to look good
to look good.

Will be hard with all
PoLi premiums in the minus.

Am curious at all,
what Tremmel says about the ALKs.

Mr. Stromberg, how does it look
with you?


Annual budget meeting.


Yes, hmm.

Are there from you at all
numbers from you yet?


When will actually
the Becker again?

I still have some
in my office.

In the other office, downstairs.

2 offices,

but no degree.


Who represents you downstairs,
Mr. Stromberg?

Yes, no one.

I'll do it for now
for now, practically.

Until Wednesday you should have
but you should have a solution.


Tremmel has been on the
10 years on the board.

He has torn people's heads off for less
for less.

Ask colleague Brandt.

Better, the ex-colleague.
[all laugh]

- The Brandt.
- The stupid pig.

What did he look like?

It was a small, fat one.

Mrs. Beermann makes potato salad.

[shouts] Potato salad!!!

Nah, the Mrs. Beermann!!

Ernie, roar even louder.

Mrs. Kehl doesn't hear so well anymore.

Mrs. Böhle is dead after all, Mrs. Kehl!

Yes, that was always delicious. That's right.

The meatballs too, yes.

The meatballs!

- Listen, um...
- That was the Mrs. Kehl!

Complain to the boss.

- Big stupid tattletale.
- What?

If tomorrow I bring delicious leftovers,
you get nothing!

Man, Ernie. Grow up.

Let him be.
The pipe cap is stulle.

With both of us, it was
recently no longer so ...


That's why I...

What comes now?

Now wait a minute ...


Tata! From me to you.

The key to my heart
you already have.

This is ...

The key for the new
deputy head of the ...

Claims settlement! Tataa!

- Does the Ernie here still have cookies?
- Get lost.


You don't give a
shit for me.

That is bullshit.

I told you last week,

- that my mother asked me--
- I know!

- What?
- Yes, that the, that is sick.

I have to look for an apartment for them!

- Yes.
- Yes!

I have to see what I do in the afternoon
with Helge.

I have 1000 things to
the ears and would be happy,

if I could be here in this store
could be a little more flexible!

Instead you push me
even more responsibility on me.

And you also think,
I am happy 'n hole in the leg.


You really don't understand anything.

[Stromberg grumbles]

Sach mal!

- So ...
- Man!

This is all here now ...



Click on it, it's amazing.

The video. I just sent it to you.

You are throwing yourself away. The trainee
the trainee this morning.

[Movie sounds]

Yeah, funny.

Nah, had to watch to the end.

Turn on again.

I thought it was funny enough.

Whoa, Trulla.
Trust the fun expert!


[Baby laughter.]

The baby of the trainee
is interested in you, big time!

Instead of coming with me
this morning.

It is nonsense, if we both 'n
half a day of vacation.

For something like that?

You know how I mean it.

Stuck fallopian tubes, is not
100 per my construction site.

Mh? Ah ...

Do you think I'm not happy,
that everything is okay with you?

In a year or so
we have such a thing ourselves.

I swear,
ours is ten times funnier,

if it comes after me.


What should I do
so that you believe me?

The Ulf Steinke special joy dance?

No topic ...

[Tanja] My mother was 24 when she.
met my father.

A year later wedding, 'n half a year.
After that came my sister.

Sure, it's not a law now,
or something. But ...

you play a little bit,
does this and that,

then you meet the one,
with whom it is more than a game,

with whom you want to have children
and family would like to have,

getting old, dying,
the whole thing.

It's been that way for millions of years.
But I can't get it right.

[Bouncing Ping-Pong Ball]

That's right theft!

All the potato salad
and the meatballs!

And then cheese skewers with grapes!

Mrs. Wiedemann made them for
for Mrs. Kehl.

I wanted to offer all this nicely.

["Hey!" for point gain]

Now everything is gone.

- It is really stolen, is that.
- Buhhh!

Is futschi ... uh kato.

Ulf, did you take the potato salad
the potato salad?

Go die, you sausage.

And the meatballs?

Homemade meatballs.

I give you
homemade cheek whistles.

The house is again at 45 degrees
in the house Steinke.

So, I'm going to make an example sta
... make.

I do nothing more,
until the food things are back!

Let's see that!

Yes because, I am also only from human.

And that is not possible!

All the meatballs and everything!

Where it ends, it ends!

[Loss of point, disappointed "Och"]

Yes nix "Och"!

Where is he?

- Tataaa!
- Ah!

Spectacular, just like at mother's house!

You are a real housewife,
Mr. Stromberg.

Here the party pickers there,
they look good, super.

- Great!
- I'll take one too.

If I had known
that we have something so good here --

A bit spontaneous, but the last time
Last time went so 'n Tucken unhappy.


Is there a napkin?
I always spill.

Mrs. Papenacker!

- And a dollop of mustard would be nice.
- Yes.

Mrs. Pap--!! ... uh ...

we need napkins

and mustard!

I am not a kiosk!

There 'se would be also long ago broke.

Watch out.
She has hair on her teeth.

I'll give her a nice
a perm in it.

Right! The boss is not always right,
but he is always the boss!

Like this!

Maybe he will make it after all.

- Mh? What?

Stankowski has bet that
Tremmel will throw you out with an octagon.


40 euros.

If you put something in the Tremmel,
there is still a small chance.

Morsels alone are not enough.

Do you have a deputy now?

Does the Eiffel Tower have one?


And the closing figures?

The Eiffel Tower also needs
no numbers either, eh?

Or so ...

Give it to me.

Career is not a prefabricated building.

It's a pyramid.
The space at the top is getting tight.

Here live above as many
as there are at the bottom, ne?

In the pyramid
but only ...


Therefore Egypt has lasted for 1000 years
but the Ossis only 40.

Most people are
just mental Ossis.

Not me.

Was always Egyptian.


That's what it's all about.
Not all the technical shit.

About the shit, right?

But about: Who wants to go under the roof?

And who has to parterre.

Mr. Becker makes
his closing figures himself.

I just don't. That's the difference.

I don't get paid for that.

I can also sexually harass you
until you do it voluntarily.

I can also make you unsexually

There are also 's laws.

Say ...

If I let it fall,
it falls down.


This is a law.
One of the few

that is always kept,
because it is from God.

What you mean,

is a loose appointment, which nobody remembers
no one remembers if necessary,

not even the good Lord.

Because here in these rooms
I am the dear God for you.

Whether you like it or not,
and whether you secretly worship the Becker,

Or how or what ...

I need the fucking numbers,
Mrs. Pa ... Papen ...


[Stromberg hums softly]
Thank you...

My two damage.


Nothing ... sweet.

That's not enough.

Where are the colleagues?

Without deputy head
many colleagues make

Very flexible working hours, so to speak.

They got the part over the
Raft creek?

Yes, sure!

Kungeln instead of buying.

The raft stream has for years
this shitty parking lot on A3.

I have now
the one from Becker on E 1.

The raft brook likes to
with the thing from the board,

and she is responsible for
the service phones and piffpaffpuff.

- Does the raft stream also come to a beamer?
- Running.

I have been interested for a long time,
such a thing.

For customer presentations.

For the Kun ... Not an issue.

Then I'll make a wish list, too.

Mr. Nussberger?

- Also a beamer.
- Very good, let's do it.


[Ulf] I wanted to go
away with Spritti, okay?

[Tanja] Mh.

Did you make an appointment now?

- Huh?
- At the urologist.

I did not come to.

I have nothing!

You saw it last night.

That has nothing to do with it.

A stuffed bear and sex.
That's your solution, or what?

Why did always have to be
to be such a fucking nerd?

Is already bad at work. But
nobody needs it when getting pregnant.

Better than not getting anything
to get anything going.

[deafening alarm siren]
[Bert yells] What are you taking?

I'm going to get some milk!

I don't put up with everything!

It's just Ernie's food. No!

Dude, I'll kill you. Really!

Ulf, now it's war!

[Bert] The thick end.
comes at the end.

As in the story.
Of the crooked fir tree in the forest.

Where there are usually only straight firs.

And they all make fun
about the crooked fir tree.

So: Hahaha, you are crooked,

and stupid, and so.

But at Christmas
there come the lumberjacks.

Because of the Christmas trees.

And they only saw
all the straight firs.

And the crooked fir, it stands there,
and laughs its head off.

Crooked fir tree.

I told in the youth group
of the community.

- So, palim, palim!
- Oh,

- Hoi.
- Mh?

A lot has happened here
since colleague Becker's leave.

Mr. Tremmel, because you were
unfortunately could not

let's start with the comfortable part.

Gentlemen, the buffet is open.

Have already heard that you
opened a 2nd canteen.

Working time is also life time.

But the other day everything was
was homemade.

Yes, unfortunately it didn't work this time.

I have been
busy with the completions.

Hear, hear, yes.

There was still one or the other
legacy from the Becker,

but I really
into it,

with two or three night shifts.

You can have a look
whether the Eiffel Tower is still standing.

I appreciate your commitment,
Mr. Stromberg.

- Culinary.
- [Papenacker] Almost 10 years here.

- But also, in terms of numbers.
- Yes.

[Bert] But that's when you ask!

These are legacy questions from the Becker.
Just ignore them.

- I have here --
- Although I have to say --

- But I have --
- There's an agenda.

[Bert and Mrs. Papenacker
argue loudly]

What's going on here?

- We have budget meeting.
- This is not going on.

- As far as I'm concerned, I'll do the closing--
- Excuse me?

Free of charge, mind you!

But this one with the water gun....

- What is this?
- Because it steals!

I brought the dishes down
From his deuce.

Ete pete his,
but stealing meatballs!

I say fie! Double poo!

This is sick! Totally sick!

Yes, sick.

Say, what's wrong with him?

[Stromberg] In the office can
the evolution can pack up.

Darwin my ass.

These were the remains
of the Mrs. Runkel.

In nature, for my sake.
the stronger prevails. But in the office ...


Here the weak sabotages the strong,
until nothing more goes.

Until you only want to go home.
That's why nothing develops.

Everyone is treading water,
like a pack...



Who wins when lion fights urchin
fights depends on location.

In the Atlantic Ocean the lion
looks nice and old.

Here is the Atlantic Ocean.

The Atlantic Ocean with files.

Here is the fucking sea urchin
the king, doh!


Are you still doing here?

Can I have a ride?
I already filled up.

No, I also have to go by bus.

Is the car fucked up?

Nah, Tanja is already ahead.

Does your old lady leave you?

Took the cart and ...
[imitates fanfare]

Sit with me for a minute.

Today I have also
out of the garbage, too.

Take a sip.

- Ernie went crazy?
- Oh, him.

They threw him up
and didn't catch him.

He put an alarm on the refrigerator
the weirdo.

- Really?
- Yes.

Don't get anything from the department
since I sit upstairs.

But it's not a loss either.

Listen, uh ...

What do you think about
if you become the new Stromberg?

I know, up to now everything has been crap.

But now I am the boss.

Not the Berkel, not the Becker,
not nobody.

Yes, but me.

- No?
- Mmh.

You are my first choice after all.

Yes, who else? Tanja?

Ernie? Ha!

Or the umbrella bitch?

I thought Jennifer and you --

The old woman is already mighty worn out.

You're just the man for the job.

Come, let's drink another
Men's beer in a men's pub.

What is your old lady bitching
now so rum?

Nothing, because of the child, and so.

What 'n for 'n child?

Never mind.

Nah, it just doesn't matter.

The deputy head
of claims settlement

Reports everything to the head of department.

You can read that everywhere.
Do you understand? Everywhere!


Ulf, why don't you stay here?

You said
I will be a deputy.

I had already had plenty.

Not now after all?

I have already told this to Tanja.

If I don't get this
get it together, then ...

This is not "Make a wish" here.

I would like to speak to you,
Mr. Stromberg.

He was just leaving anyway.

Because of what happened yesterday.

This is the Mr. Steinke,

my deputy below.

Also just told him the department
better have a grip on it.

Heisterkamp is like Fuj ...
like Chernobyl.

If it explodes, it will have repercussions
throughout Europe.

- So in the whole Capitol.
- That's where I had --

He has of course just privately
also so' n bit...

Failure to conceive, impotence.

Now very briefly!

Ulf, you realize that

something like this must not be repeated.


It was like world war,
one time is enough.

- Bad example. I mean--
- I think,

we understand each other.

110%, Mr ...

All right, have a nice day.

- Tremmel ...
- Have a nice ...


[deafening alarm siren.]