Stromberg (2004–2012): Season 3, Episode 4 - Der Protest - full transcript

[Stromberg] Morning! What's up?

Ow, is it starting? Is the child coming?

Iodine, hot water, towels!!!

Bernd Stromberg, the doctor,
whom the women trust...

[Tanja] She missed something,
with the new processing

[Tanja] Mr. Becker has said that he will not take her
he will not take her on after maternity leave.

Now I am standing there and the car
I still have to pay off.

Can't think about it.

Yeah, man, that's a big mess you're in right now.
You're in a big mess right now...

The main thing is to be healthy, I always say...

[Tanja] That is impossible from Becker!
That with the settlement...

we have not had to do so far,
that is so much extra work...

A mistake can happen, you do not throw a pregnant woman
you don't kick out a pregnant woman!

Yes, Becker,
under all Kanone, I must also say,

I could really get
upset about it.

[Tanja] We were thinking,
what we can do.

Well, first of all, you can see from this
what you have in me...

in comparison...

So, keep your ears stiff,
Woman... so ears, up here....

Toi toi toi...

[Stromberg] people management...

For me, that is what, for example, the
Tap dancing is to the neg...the colored people.

It's in my blood...
It's automatic for me.

Is surely
also one of my strengths.

For the technical stuff,
there's surely better than me.

I say it frankly. But all of you out there,
they are important to me.

From the smallest file hog,

to the last typist,
who know that I take them seriously...

[Stromberg rattles
the coffee machine]

[The coffee capsules fall loudly
on the floor]

Look at that! Keeps everything
only from twelve to noon!

Certainly from Asia!
The yellow bags...

think, "For the stupid round-eyes
we screw together such a piece of junk.

Oh, the star singers?!

Mr. Stromberg, we wanted to ask
about Maja...

[Stromberg] She doesn't say anything anymore...

[Jennifer] Because you said that
you don't like it either.

[Stromberg] Bad about something like that
I could get angry...

[Jennifer] We wanted to ask
if you can do something.

That there is an agreement,
that Maja can continue to work here.

Lint filter clogged...
or starter motor broken...

[Stromberg laughs]

So, what was here now?

[Jennifer] I meant, Mr. Stromberg
will certainly stand up for Maja,

and talks to Becker...

[Stromberg] Well, nah.

- I mean, what for...
- [Tanja] I knew it wouldn't work!

[Oh, Tanja,
that you are about to...

[Tanja] No, you always make big speeches.
Speeches "the human is important".

[Tanja] But when it comes down to it,
it's "I don't know".

Maja is not helped with chattering
and the rest neither...

[Stromberg] Miss Seifert. Today
hormonally 'n bit hypoglycemic?!

[Oh, that's
completely stupid...

[Stromberg stammers]
Yes well, I'll...

I'm going to talk to the Becker....

Jesus Christ, I have to go
and then...

Today is also a day when I...

[Becker] Do you actually know,
what you are doing with the accident consolidation,

[Becker] for the damage
has done?

It's not possible to quantify that yet!
Just from the workflow alone!

Yes well, I say, to try it
is always the first way to failure.

That's what the thing always said...ah,
what was his name...

Do not come to me with
calendar sayings! That is nonsense!

Mao. Oh nonsense, the other one...

- Charlie Chaplin!
- [Wehmeyer] We're not getting anywhere like this.

[Becker] I'm annoyed that we have to work with you...

are at the same point again,
as one year ago

[Becker] and that nothing
has changed!!

Bringing Mr. Stromberg back into the department
was my idea, Mr. Becker.

[Wehmeyer] I have given you my reasons.

sufficiently explained and told you
several times,

[Wehmeyer] that it is not
your task,

To question my decisions...

[Stromberg] Let me say one more thing....

Such a pregnant woman like Maja,
just so padautz on the street...

I personally find highly
uh... questionablest.

[Mrs. Decker has repeatedly made
made serious mistakes,

most recently in the new processing,

[Becker] Substantial--

She has lost her husband,
she has to pay off a car...

[Wehmeyer] The woman is pregnant?

Yes. You know, pregnancy,
it's like a hundred episodes of Lindenstraße

in your own body,
mistakes are bound to happen...

We find a good solution
for Mrs. Decker, Mr. Stromberg...

[Wehmeyer] I will talk to you
talk to you again alone, Mr. Becker.

You can't keep
such a permanent...

You have to make clear
what then for 'ne external effect,

uhh... Effect
On the external effect has of the capi--.

[Wehmeyer to camera] I would like to ask you
ask you to pause here...

[Ernie turns up the radio]
[Ulf] Turn that shit off!


- [Ulf] Uh... how now...?
- Yes, Ulf, I can hear this now...

[Ulf] Yes, but we hear the
unfortunately also...

- [Ulf] Ernie!
- [Ernie] Ulf!

[Ulf] I don't believe it...

[Do you have a test of courage?
or what?

- I want to hear this now!
- Say...

Ey, Ernie this is not your radio!
[Ulf turns off the radio]

There, that should be enough...

You can share,
or coffee fund or...

but now this is also
also my radio...

[Ernie turns on the radio again]

[Ernie] Whoever pays the band,
also determines what is played,

[Ernie] is what my grandpa used to say,
And that's true too...

[Ernie sings sail away...]

My mother...she died, didn't she?
[Ernie's watch beeps]

she put some things aside.
I didn't know anything about that.

Probably because...
I've been busy mowing the lawn, doing the dishes....

etc. earned me a nice
pocket money earned...

often Alexander Polotzcik from the neighborhood
Polotzcik from the neighborhood, took it from me again,

and that's why my mother helped
my money at a very early age.

Her pension and from my dad
there must also have been something.

Anyway, all in all this is a
nice pile...

[Stromberg loudly] So. Like this!

Dear Mrs. Decker...

Your situation is of course wind
on my mill...

of the human being, which I have been
in this company for years...

[Stromberg] can hereby
the happy news,

that your dismissal
has been withdrawn...

Yes, you can
After maternity protection...

schaft... continue to work here.

For real now?

You better wait
until you have it in writing.

Not that it is again
empty promises again...

[Stromberg] Erika, that's clear...

That with the accident consolidation is also
not so long ago, where you also

the blue from the sky have flunked
and afterwards it was all pie in the sky.

Yes, cake, the only thing you think of again
think about. But now it's about them here....

Mrs. Decker, I guarantee
I have it fresh from the top,

You stay here!

[Thank you, I am so happy!

Mrs. Schirrmann,
Mrs. Decker can actually stay.

[Stromberg] And if you ever have something,
no matter what, just come to me.

I don't have anything right now.

Yes, I'm just saying, if, then...
not that afterwards it is said...

I remember.

[Stromberg turns off the screen]

Oh man, Mr. Stromberg...

[Erika] I have by chance all the
T9 processing--

That's what Ulf did, I don't have any--.

I know... look,
everything is wrong here...

He didn't understand
how to do it, did he?

Holy shit... that's...
is that the same there?

Everywhere. I thought I'd show you
quickly, before this goes up.

Great, thanks! I see,
that he changes that.

Yes, would be good...

Otherwise you have to impregnate Ulf quickly,
if it goes out like this...

[Erika] That is even more expensive
than what the girl has screwed up...

[Erika giggles]

[Tanja] The man doesn't have to.
be more intelligent than the woman,

this is nonsense...

but if you notice that he can do certain
Things that are not so hard....

[Tanja] If he just doesn't get it,
that is somehow funny.

His brain is his Achilles' heel,
you can say...

And the first premium then here, or how?

Oh Wusel, this has nothing to do with the first premium
nothing to do with the first premium!

This is all already included,
that is the transfer!!

How? Everywhere now, or what?


[Tanja] You often think that you.
know each other, just after three years but...

then there are situations where I think,
I do not know him at all.

[Good morning,
Mr. Stromberg!

Morning Mrs..

- Morning Mr. Stromberg!
- Morning.

[Mana] I wanted to say thank you.

I got a mail
from Mr. Becker,

that I can really stay.

I did not know what to
should buy.

In any case, thank you again!

[All clap]

Yes, children...

Overnight someone went blind?
Maybe I can do something too.

Could turn water into wine, couldn't I?

[Long sounds in the forest!
Long live Lurchi!

Lurchi, I'll give it to Lurchi...

[Erika] That was the hero in the forest.

Had these comics when I was a kid...
don't you know that?

- Lurchi is great!
- Yes, Lurchi is great! So kids,

if somehow 'n concern is--

[Ernie] I would like to sit
sit alone again!

Yeah, why? She is all the time
always on the phone--

Yes, Ernie, you'll soon
sit alone,

nice and alone in a house
on a planet...

You do anyway already... behind the moon...

[But every now and then, he comes to visit us
visit us in his spaceship.

[Stromberg] Such a simple thanks,
Such a simple appreciation,

[Stromberg] that's like when your
soul once completely aired...

It's already fun.

There you also realize,
why you are doing all this.

Feels like Jesus, when the
woke up all the dead.

He must have had a lot of fun too.

So before the crucifixion.

[Ernie whistles]

[Ulf] Then I am stupid,
you know. Stupid fucks well.

But as stupid as I am good in bed,
I'm not, am I?

If you let yourself get a blood circulation
it can't hurt.

We have to go along with the
permanently now, you nose bear!

Yeah, I can handle that.
What's it going to be?

I bought that. It's like
grill but with electricity,

to make sandwiches...

[Ernie] This is shabatta
and Spanish sausage.

The one from the delicatessen says,
that would be something really fine...

Delicatessen Pätzold, by golly, Ernie!
Has prosperity broken out?

Yes Ulf, I bought this for me...

[Caretaker] But that is not allowed,
private electrical appliances...

something is smoldering, the alarm goes off
Alarm goes off, and something happens.

This is from TV
and this is Spanish sausage!

[Janitor] What do you think happens,

if everybody brings his own
electrical stuff?!

[Ulf] The giant vibrator
gives trouble with house rules.

[Ernie] You buy yourself
a nice case of schnapps from,

or whatever else you like to...
And that's what this is for.

I think it's starting!
I've never experienced anything like this before!

The device is coming!
Who do you think you are?!

[Ernie] This is Spanish sausage!
I have a right.

[Janitor] Fuck you!
[Ernie] The device is coming away.

This has a repercussion!! Did you get the...?

Someone has dug his own grave...

We are not in Absurdistan! Nah...

Ulf, this is mine!!

Hm. Tastes good!

So, that's all here again now....


[God, poor Ernie,
he is completely off track again...

I thought earlier, he's about to get furry
and gets long teeth...

[He had just calmed down a bit and now this.
calmed down and now this.

[Tanja] Totally stupid,
with the janitor!

Can't you do anything about it,
Mr. Stromberg?

Erika, you can do a
Do a hunger strike.

[All laugh]

Can't you do something?

I sit next to him and when he is angry,
then he sweats more than usual!

[Tanja] You are so good
with Wehmeyer.

[Stromberg] Yes...

[Erika] You are our Lurchi after all!

- The savior of widows and orphans!
- [Erika] And Ernie!

Oh please, I also do
my bambi look.

Well, Mrs. Schirrmann,

When you bring up such guns....

- And me first!
- [Stromberg] Yes, children, come...

Well, I'll talk to Hans... with Wehmeyer.

Erika, stop it, otherwise I'll get

Mrs. Schirrmann, this is a cannon...
always making fun!

So I take care of Ernie ...
you don't have to worry.

Mrs. Schirrmann, for you
I do everything for you.

that's a cup of coffee!

[Wehmeyer] For you also
a latte macchiato?

[Stromberg] Latte Macchiato, but it's also
also Italian for erection, isn't it?

[Stromberg]Yeah, no, come on,
bring one of these...

What is it about, Mr. Stromberg?

Yes, basically pillepalle,

one of the employees
sandwich maker...

Now the janitor came...

and thinks he must
to poop currants particularly vigorously,

because of private electrical appliances
and so on...

then 'n barrel is opened,
thicker than Erika, that does not have to be...

I should sign an exemption
sign, yes?

- Uh, yes, that...
- I'll send you an email in a minute.

[Wehmeyer] That was all?

[Becker] What is now
with the processing?

Have you developed any ideas there?

I don't understand you! From the smooth
course of this story--

[Wehmeyer] Mr. Becker let
you... briefly.

[Stromberg makes a fanfare after]

So, here, Ernie, where is it?
Yeah, come on over here!

Here you can make the Pope on toast
with official blessing from above...

I talked with Hans-Jürgen,
with Wehmeyer spoken... and patsch!

- So I am allowed to work in our coffee kitchen?
- Jo!

That, I am glad...

[All say Lurchi.]


[Stromberg] Lurchi.
[All shout Lurchi.]


[Tanja] And we are paying 60,000 now?

Here, at building one point three, 60,000
Euros. I think rather not, right?

Here the carryover is still in!
Ulf, that's not possible!

- Yes, how? Without?!
- Yes, surely without! That's clear!!

Otherwise we didn't have to do
otherwise we would not have to do it...

Bake yourself an ice cream and be happy
how smart you are, ey!!

[Ulf] I do many things
from the gut,

is now not necessarily
the smartest...

But that doesn't mean I'm stupid.

I could think about it more
if I wanted to. But I don't want to...

And that is a difference...

Tanja doesn't understand many things either.

Some things...


[Jennifer] Thank you very much, really!

Now he is
almost back to normal.

Like a normal Ernie,
you get used to this condition...

Told yes, if I can do something,
just talk to me...

Glad to see you laughing. I
just say Jennifer. I'm Bernd.

[Maja] I wanted to get some coffee,
do you want one too?

[Stromberg] Yes! My machine
is unfortunately...

With milk and a piece of sugar?

[Stromberg] Just a
A sip of canned milk...

[Jennifer's cell phone rings]

[Ernie] That's not the way to do it!
They're all stealing my food!

Mr. Stromberg, you have to put
put your foot down...

Oh Ernie! You have but also really
Nerves like noodles. Come, sit down.

- What is the secret of popularity?
- Ne.

You have to do something for others!
Not always just me, me.

Saint Martin principle, you must
share your clothes, too.

Not yours, just from the principle....

- Just some canned milk.
- Oh, that's nice.

And another cookie.

Like this!

This is...

[Ernie] Ne, Mr. Becker. There must be--

[Becker] I know that there have been,
many changes have taken place,

that also affect your immediate
everyday working life.

In addition to the usual tasks,
you also have to take care of the processing,

is certainly difficult for some
to understand...

If you are in the shit with one leg
you have to go with the other one

still be able to run marathon...

We have looked through the workflows again
through and I can tell you,

that we do not see any alternative to this
also see no alternative in the future.

[Becker] I hope you have understanding
for this measure.

[Becker] If there are any questions, I'm at your disposal.
I will be happy to answer them, thank you.

[All talking in confusion.]

Is there nothing that can be done?

That we now have the settlement
on the cheek...

- That's really...
- Yes, I think so too...

[Tanja] In the department not
also not all.

Why don't you say that your mongoose friend from
from the special school can't do math.

That's not the point now!

- I also find it quite nice--
- You really don't understand anything!

- No, how could I? I'm stupid!!
- Children do not argue!

Maybe you talk with Wehmeyer!?

- [Tanja] That would be great!
- [Erika] Exactly!

Jaha, Lurchi should fix it again,

[All call Lurchi]

Because of the handling, I will
talk to Wehmeyer again.

The way it was said now,
it's all still vermilion, ne!

[Laughter and applause]

Thank you!

[Becker] Have you completely lost your mind?!

[Becker] You cannot torpedo the decision
torpedo the decision of the management!

In your place I would
now times not

artificially so'n riesen
mulled wine,

that between me and Wehmeyer
the chemistry is right, and also the physics...

that you react a little bit mimosely
I understand--

[Becker] You are digging yourself a pit,
from which you can no longer get out...

With Mrs. Decker, in the end
also rather you the shovel in the hand,

when it comes to the subject of Grube.

[Stromberg laughs.]

[Stromberg belches]

[Stromberg] I think we have to...

We have to make the action really big.
really big. With posters and everything,

that Wehmeyer also sees, the whole
the whole department behind Stromberg.

I can imagine, so'n Becker
can then soon take a hiding...

Here, like this!


It's about time,
that he gets a roast.

Boah, Ernie, but they are also tasty
these things here!

[Ernie] Yes, that's with so Danish
Butterkäse, which ripens very special in--

[Stromberg] Thank you, we didn't
we didn't want to know.


When all of us with the concentrated power
here from you guys...

That's half the battle.

[Stromberg] Who in his mid-twenties has not
rebels has no heart,

But anyone in their mid-forties who doesn't
in middle management...

sits, has no brain. That's what it looks like.

The important thing besides the
leadership position is,

to be also a revolutionary,
if it fits.

Turnip down. There is enough turnip
up there.

[Stromberg] To say:

"Guys, this and this...

but everything is going very badly
suboptimal!". And so I see myself...

Stromberg means, we should all with
when he goes to the Wehmeyer...

Sure, like the boss of the lemmings,

"Everybody follow me, I know the way!".

Nah, thanks, without me.

Maybe it's of some use
if he talks to Wehmeyer...

Are we with Superman and Stromberg
ate a bucket of purple kryptonite

and now does things right,
or what?

- With Maja, however, he has achieved something.
- As you think Mrs. Seifert...

There are still missing the disclaimers...

Boah, you are so annoying... madness...

I should not help you, but what
to do, that you don't have to do it

you don't want either.
You can go fuck yourself!

[All protest.]
"Without wage compensation No overtime".

[Ernie] Here we go.

[All protest]

"Without wage compensation No overtime ".

[Stromberg] Mr. Wehmeyer could
you a moment?

It's about this winding up shit....

What is this?!!

[Stromberg] We wanted to demonstrate,
that is quite a nonsense...

[Wehmeyer] Let's all wait
outside together.

[Wehmeyer] Just take a seat outside....
I'll be with you in a moment, Mr. Stromberg.

[Wehmeyer] Just take a seat
take a seat outside, Mr. Heisterkamp.

[Stromberg] Take a seat outside,
I'll do it here.

[All call Lurchi]

[All speak]

Wehmeyer says that at the moment it is
'n bit difficult at the moment.

[Erika] What do you mean, that's it?

[Employee] You wanted to
to stand up for us!

[Some call Lurchi]

[Erika] Great!!! You are a
great fighter!

[Employee] What the fuck?

[Stromberg becomes loud] One must also see
see the other side...

- [Staff] What other side?
[Stromberg] - The...

[Erika] Does the revolution fail,
or what?

[Everyone gets excited.]

[Stromberg] I would say that we should
go down first.

[Staff] What do we do now?

And who said it right away?
Yes, that's right, stupid Ulf....

and who didn't believe it?
The world's smartest Tanja,

Superwoman, the incredible smart,
the amazing...

Yes, is good now--

The highly gifted Tanja, with an IQ
over 1000.

Unfortunately she throws as pathetic as
all women AND I said it right away.

[Vacuum cleaner noise]


Morning, well woman...


Mrs. Decker, well?!

Oh, Jennifer, na!

Where is the smile
that makes the sun rise?

They won't take me on,
after the probationary period...

But I have--

Yes, they would have taken me over,
but now that Maja...

[Jennifer] Now that you have stood up for
have stood up for them,

it doesn't matter,
that stays now anyway...

and I go... next week...

[Ernie] I'm making sandwiches,
if anybody wants to...

[Employee] Oh, yes, I'd love to!

[Employee] With ham...

[Ernie is cheered in the kitchen.]

[Ernie] Ah, my bread.....

[Fire alarm goes off]

That's just... here... about the cheese....
there's nothing!

[Ernie tries to blow out the flame.]

Of course, this is poison for bread...