Stromberg (2004–2012): Season 3, Episode 3 - Karneval - full transcript

‎I soon can't take it anymore nervously.

‎A new inventory management system....

‎Great, as if we have
‎nothing else to do.

I can't be a machine at the moment from a mental point of view.
‎cannot be a machine at the moment.

‎And then just simply
‎to make a notice!

‎Oh well, that's Erika!

‎I already thought Ernie's mother
‎had come down for a jump.


‎Holy cow, Ernie!
‎His mother is just dead.

‎Did you know about the new
‎Inventory management system?

‎- Huh?
‎- You can't just do that on the side!

‎Yes Erika... Can not live mostly
‎in the Willnichtstraße.

‎If you are here during working hours
‎on Altweiberfastnacht make--

‎Wait, I have since 2 hours
‎half a day of vacation,

‎but the damage statement had to be
‎absolutely have to be finished today.

‎Pretty small wings
‎for such a giant angel!


‎There I would have the cloud from the
‎Statics again!

‎As a boss you are actually
‎a kind of office animator.

‎An entertainer with a desk.

‎A staff member with bad
‎Moods are like snowflakes.

‎One is harmless.

‎A few dozen is a snowball
‎and then if you are not careful,

‎you'll have an avalanche in no time.

‎Therefore the most important thing is what
‎you do as a boss is good humor.

‎[makes a howling sound].

‎Make a good noise,
‎do people do the work.

‎[laughs and continues gibbering].

‎In the cotton fields with the
‎Slaves were sung, after all.

‎[mimics singing.]

‎[theme music]

‎Here look, 85 square meters,
‎but no balcony.

‎- Yes, that's good.
‎- You didn't look properly.

‎- Ulf, you must live there too.
‎- Just do what you think, okay?

‎You have the better taste anyway.

‎Look at the guy you ‎chose
‎you have chosen, is awesome!

Idiot. Here, call
‎and make an appointment.

‎- What, now or what?
‎- Best when she is already gone.

‎Of course now, I have to go
‎up for the stock shit.

‎Here, must be out by Tuesday.
‎Look, I'm going carnival as a... ?

‎[makes a howling sound]

‎As Ernie.


‎Now I buy myself another
‎Nervous suit, but a very weak one.


‎nerves... costume... clear?
Here, want to try?

Mrs. Schirrmann, what are you going as?
‎go as? I'm going as Ernie.


‎Well, dressing up is
‎not really my thing.

‎Then it's easy, nothing at all.
‎and go as a sex bomb.

‎Or Ulf? Let's put a fuse
‎on it back here.

‎But you are in heat,
‎can that be?

‎Yes, at the weapons summit....
‎Sex bomb against mood cannon.

‎Well, for the sex bomb you have
‎only unfortunately no gun license.


‎- Meal.
‎- Mr. Stromberg, also back.

‎Oh, here, Mr. Pötsch.

‎- I do it like the good Lord
‎- Meal time.

‎He doesn't show up very often,
‎but still has a good image.

‎- I thought I'd take a look.
‎- The Becker is still at the seminar?

‎I don't know...

‎I've really envied you, too.

‎Just still in the
‎Department, without the responsibility.

‎And still a certain position.

‎Like the Queen of England.

‎Now that's tinnef.... "‎Queen‎"....

‎What do you have there
‎for 'n spot on'm head?

‎- There the stain.
What? Nothing is there.

‎- Strombe--
‎- Hello ladies, gentlemen!

‎I see we have again today....

‎Let's start right away with
‎You, Mr. Pötsch.

‎You have a problem with
‎the consolidation in the department.

‎So the mood in the department.
‎is through

‎the general extra workload
‎already strained anyway.

‎If I now add the
‎accident consolidation--.

‎Yes, but the mood has one
‎yes in your own hand, Mr. Kollege.

‎With more work you have to be
‎have more fun at work.

‎Quite so simple
‎I don't think it is.

‎The accident consolidation goes far beyond
‎what my department--.

‎Would my loose still be involved.


‎Yeah no, if you can't handle it,
‎I'm happy to help there.

‎So I can only offer that.

‎Yes but your people have
‎don't have the experience at all....

‎Mr. Stromberg, are you sure about that?

‎Yes for sure.

‎[Coffee maker bubbling].

‎- Ernie, are you coming to the canteen?
‎- Huh?

‎- Come on, take your mind off it.
‎- I still have savoy cabbage here.

Mommy has still got a lot of
‎a lot of stuff before she...

She has 20 jars of stewed pears.
‎preserved this year.

‎You can also have some
‎have some if you want.

‎With cinnamon and everything.

‎What stinks here, tell me,
‎Are you eating napalm or what?

Yes Ulf, this is savoy cabbage.
‎that has my mother eingetuppert!

‎Ernie, he doesn't mean it after all.

‎Now they are going crazy
‎probably up there, right?

Have you read the mail yet?
‎with the accident consolidation?

‎We should now incidentally the
‎accident consolidation as well!

‎- Yes how now?
‎- Is really 'a cheek!

‎Uh, say, something smells
‎bad here, do you smell that too?

Yes, Erika, that is savoy cabbage,
‎my mother put it in the cupboard!

‎And that is the last thing
‎I still have from mom.

‎- Wäh, who has here again--
‎- Have you already read that

‎we are supposed to do the accident consolidation
‎are supposed to do? The Wehmeyer is crazy!

A little extra work will not kill you.
‎not kill you, rather what stinks here.

‎Yes, here.

‎Oh Ernie, I knew it.
‎Have you warmed up your old socks?

‎That must be per quarter
‎300 operations!

‎- Well Erika, three hundred--
‎- Over 340 in the last quarter.

‎These fucking accidents, are the
‎not all booked individually?

‎Not all of them, Ulf.

‎And each payment separately, others
‎Have whole departments for it.

‎Yes children, nothing is so hot
‎eaten as it is cooked.

‎Not even Ernie's Pampe here ...
‎I hope.

‎Who suggests such a thing,
‎he has no idea.

Ulf, now is the time--
‎- Wehmeyer must take that back,

‎otherwise I will go to the works council!

Oh you always with your sh...
‎ "Works council"!

‎I let that
‎me in any case not offer!

‎- Canteen?
‎- Yes.


‎[Ernie sobs.]

‎[piano music]

‎[Vacuum cleaner whistles]

‎This is a complete
‎Schnapidee Mr. Stromberg!

‎- I see it differently, ah, Mr. Wehmeyer.
‎- Ah, there I have you both.

‎Heard there are difficulties.

‎- Oh iwo.
‎- Yes, that's right.

‎That my department is doing accident consolidation.
‎makes no sense!

‎The Chinese does not sleep Mr. Becker!
‎Keyword globalization.

‎One must as a hundred-meter runner
‎also run 110 meters sometimes

‎to show the Chinese,
‎what you have up your sleeve.

‎Or in the wok in that case,
‎what do you suggest?

‎- Wok...
‎- So if you take the area with the

‎other field offices and
‎to a central position--

‎I actually mean Mr. Stromberg.

‎Oh, well, uh... let's put it this way
‎This thing is...

‎The mood is very mellow right now.

‎And that's where we would have to go.

‎In the department times a nice
‎carnival party...

‎With streamers and Rambazamba,
‎times a little fun in the booth.

‎The accident consolidation is of the
‎Department logistically impossible to do.

‎That's what it's about, not fun.

‎Carrots and, uh, games!

‎The ancient Greeks have
‎with it quite big.... uh...

‎I find the approach of Mr.
‎Stromberg not wrong at all.

‎Classic employee motivation.
‎Bringing emotionality into the work.

‎Try it Mr. Stromberg.
‎And with that, I would really try

‎Go to the doctor, doesn't look good.

Oh, no, I'm not going to the doctor until
‎doctor when it bleeds or rots.

‎[both laughing]

‎What is all this?

‎Accident Consolidation.
‎This is the first quarter.

‎- You talk to him.
‎- With whom?

‎Why don't you go and have a beer with him?

‎With Ernie? Me? A beer?

‎What is that supposed to be,
a dare or what?

Oh Ulf, he is really shit on it,
‎the poor.

‎But he has no one now
‎with whom he...

‎What would you do then if
‎I would leave you all of a sudden?

‎Yes I would go with Sprittie and the boys
‎party, of course.

‎Of course not, but also not
‎stink and dress like shit.

‎You are so stupid sometimes.

‎Why that now?
‎Just because I'm here, uh....

‎Jesus Christ, really.

‎[Stromberg claps.]

‎Quite briefly
‎Just for a moment. Hello, everybody.

‎I was just at the
‎at the Wehmeyer, on top, ne?

There have been long faces lately,
‎and there I make times on Moses,

‎the office people from the
‎the vale of tears.

‎And the Hansjürgen, so the Wehmeyer
‎didn't want to, let's cut the crap.

‎And, um, you know me.

‎I was persistent and then
‎the Wehmeyer said at some point.

‎Well, Bernd, then go ahead.

‎Yes, Lirum Larum

‎so that the mood is better
‎we'll do one next Tuesday.

Carnival party! Tatää!

Hello? Am I talking backwards or what?
Carnival! Dressing up and all!

‎Bread and games or what?

‎This is nonsense now.

‎But you don't have to take part in that or?
‎There we could look then apartment.

‎Celebrate I could from the mental
‎from a mental point of view anyway.

‎Yes, now what about the accident stuff,
‎do we have to do that now or how or what?

‎The people here would even in
‎Land of milk and honey run to the works council.

‎I'm too warm, too much fruit,
‎too many naked women.

‎All the dull tiles
‎and rubble women here.

‎This really makes me fuxig,

‎Here, nag, nag, nag.
‎That's typical German!

‎If I in India to 'ner
horde of carpet weavers in India

‎and say let the Persian, today is
‎carnival, there would be atmosphere in the house!

Here you call once free beer and
‎the flap hangs on half past eight!

‎[Piano music]

‎I have never done this before
‎with accident consolidation.

‎Do I have to record that as a deuce then.
‎Record it, or...?

‎- What?
‎- Nothing, I, I just....

‎Yes, it all has to be as a deuce.

‎Oh dear, that takes then
‎yes a hundred years!

‎Yes you are not here for a cure,
Mr. Lehn... but at work.

That's why it's called, uh...
‎- work.

‎That is absolute nonsense,
‎Don't you see that?

‎- But the people are completely served.
‎- That's why it's carnival!

‎That is nevertheless Kasparkram.

‎Do you think the people work without complaint
‎unpaid overtime for your fun?

‎You don't believe that yourself!

‎We must find a solution now!

‎Mr. Stromberg?

‎Hey, you don't fancy
‎for a beer in the offside today?

Ulf, I am from the mental just...

‎Can't you fuck with someone else?
Can't you take the piss out of someone else? I just want to here...

‎Hello, what should be in a
‎Beer in the offside 'be a joke?

‎Yes Ulf,
‎and if I say something now, then

‎it's Ernie the stupid again, because
‎with offside, what I do not know

‎and then all again Hahaha.

‎Ernie, the offside is 'ne soccer bar
‎in the Sudermannstraße, there

‎you have already passed a thousand times
‎walked past it.

‎- And that's where you want me to go?
‎- Yes, Tanja said

‎halt what I know, because it is
‎you just somehow shit.

‎And then we want to drink a beer
‎or what tonight?

‎- Yes.
‎- I think that's great, a beer.

‎- And is Tanja coming?
‎- She is always there quickly.

‎Last year she wanted from Greece
‎a street dog,

‎even with the number, he's going to shit,
‎he's about to die and stuff.

And with you is just also g'rad shit,
‎Mother dead, girlfriend gone...

No friends and with colleagues
‎also not so on top.

‎Then, of course, is difficult.

‎[Bert starts to cry.]

‎Mr. Wehmeyer, very briefly,
‎one minute only!

‎I am from the claims department.
‎It's about the accident consolidation.

‎It's a little bit at the moment.
‎bad, but I'm pleased.

‎Get an appointment
‎from the Mrs. Schuchardt.

Humba, humba, humba, tääterää!
‎Well, already quite tingly about

Tuesday? She likes to celebrate,
‎our little angel.

‎- I wanted to talk to Mr. Wehmeyer.
‎- Yes, that's great.

‎We will let Mr. Wehmeyer now
‎have a nice phone call and we two...

Erika! Cabbage steam is easier to
‎push than you!

‎It will suit me better if we push it
‎push it to Wednesday.

‎Yes, have him call me.

‎- Stromberg, everything good?
‎- Great!

‎- Everything super, everything great.
‎- Mrs. Dings wanted to talk to me.

‎Yes, that was all just nonsense.

‎- I wanted to go to the department anyway-.
‎- I wouldn't do that.

‎Um, uh, not right now.

‎Yeah they're planning the celebration and so on.

‎By the way also
‎a nice surprise for you.

‎- For me?
‎- Yes, they do quite a bit.

‎But I would have you there anyway still
‎sent you an official invitation anyway.

Oh, then I don't want to spoil their fun.
‎not spoil the fun.

‎Glad it's going so well
‎with bread and games.

‎- See you on Tuesday at the latest?
‎- Yes.

‎- What do you get?
‎- 53.

‎Dr. Jendretzke, huhu!

‎- Have you been to him before?
‎- Yes, two years ago where I had the intestine--

‎Nee, I mean maybe he has
‎like pills or something for a good mood!

The Roggendorf also had depressions.
‎when it was with her husband

‎and then he also gave her something.

‎I have to go big.
‎Stomach-wise, I am not yet...

Jo, but now it's good here, I do'
‎but not the civilian service after!

Ulf, sometimes you are really--
‎- I don't feel like it anymore.

‎This Mother Theresa number
‎was already annoying with Mother Theresa.

‎I mean there's a reason for that.
‎that she became a nun.

‎Helper syndrome does not come with
‎men not so well.

‎It gets on my nerves quite a bit
‎All the emotional shit.

‎At every little thing
‎the women cry off.

‎Tanja now here. Must just 'n
‎animal film on television run, and they ...

And that is supposed to prove that women
‎are more emotional than us or what?

‎Yes because um...
‎I have also cried before.

‎When we were relegated.
‎In the stadium.

‎And that should be worth less
‎worth than some animal film?


Well, I am not a neurologist.
‎neurologist or psychologist.

‎The Roggendorf from the 4 you also have
‎so pills.... And our Ernie--

‎Berthold. My name
‎is actually Berthold.

‎Anyway, we are concerned
‎and if there is anything--

‎Oh here the doctor and the dear cattle.

‎- Are you buying aspirin for the party?
‎- This is confidential here!

‎Yes come now, children,
‎pay attention,

‎I have again at the top with
‎the Wehmeyer spoken

‎and said that the department
‎cannot manage it in this form.

‎Then he said,
‎he'll find another one.

‎- What, the whole thing is off the table?
‎- Well, he wasn't exactly celebrating.

‎Can you imagine, but.

‎apropos celebrate, the celebration on Tuesday
‎stands, the Wehmeyer also comes

‎would be good if you the
‎not immediately annoy with the topic.

‎- I find really great.
‎- I would not have thought now.

‎Were you with it actually
‎ever at a dermatologist?

‎Because the edge frays so.

‎You should definitely see a doctor.
‎And quickly.

‎Skin cancer is not to be trifled with.

‎How skin... cancer?

‎- I noticed it too.
‎- I think it's gotten bigger.

‎We also had a case in
‎the family. The uncle Günter.

‎My mother's brother.
‎That also started like that.

‎And within 'n
‎half a year, he was dead.

‎Now lives from the side
‎nobody lives anymore.

‎Well, there you see that one
‎with pressure what can achieve.

‎Well, I would not have thought that Mr.
‎Stromberg would move something for us, but....

‎But a gift horse take
‎I also from Mr. Stromberg.

‎And there we can now
‎really celebrate carnival.

‎Oh Ulf, can you...

‎My god, bad mood
‎with Tanja, or what?

‎- Well you, also in a bad mood?
‎- Ernie, really...

‎Do you know that the
‎Accident consolidation is off the table?

Here, the Jendretzke has given me so
‎Pills given, ne?

If you are bad at it, you can...
‎Can also have from!

‎I have um, already taken two.

‎Tomorrow we can drink the beer here
‎drink it here instead of on the sidelines.

‎You know, I thought that was so nice
‎that you came to me...

I always thought that...
‎you do not like me.

‎But now, I think great!

‎Hello, I have the documents here.
‎from the PKV ready,

‎there you wanted
‎look over it again.

‎- I did the math twice.
‎- They're driving me crazy.

‎I have such a stain and
‎everyone is talking about skin cancer now.

‎Now I've looked on the Internet times
‎looked, that is really...

‎Yes, it is not to be trifled with,
‎My father had that too.

‎Yes... and?

‎Well, he died... died last year.

‎At 56, because he was too late.
‎to go to the doctor.

‎Have you been to the doctor yet?

‎Often is much earlier.
‎Evening off than one thinks.

‎So now not in the office,
‎but in life.

‎And you don't even think about that,
‎with all the everyday....

‎...uh, shit.
‎And all of a sudden he stands in front of you.

‎Our all supervisor
‎with the big scythe.

‎Oh, God, you are
‎gone all pale.

‎I will make you an appointment
‎at the doctor's, where my dad was.

‎I need the number first.
‎Can I go on the internet?

‎I think most people.
‎are afraid of death,

‎because that's when all of life starts
‎is to pass one by.

‎Yes, and when I look at

‎to look at it all again,

‎I would say so,
‎there was a lot with it, that was nothing.

What does he still want here?

Oh, I wanted to do some more research
‎Because of the incident that....

‎Come on now, don't do that,
‎look at the clock!

‎Oh, no, I don't mind.

‎Because there is nothing at home anyway,
‎since mom is no longer there.

Jesus Christ, stop whining and start doing something.
‎start living!

You have seen how fast this can go.
‎that can go with your mother.

‎There he stands here at a thousand o'clock
‎and researches around!

‎I also feel much better since that with
‎the accident consolidation is off the table.

‎That's not the point at all.

‎It's about life!

‎Uh, uh, per se. Berthold!

‎What do you think how unimportant
‎next to the accident shit is?

Do you think that the
Heinzelmännchen or what?

‎No, you all do it after carnival.
‎Everything as usual.

‎But that's not the point at all.
‎It all doesn't give a damn.

‎I have cancer.


‎If I have bad luck,
‎I might have another year.

And if in a year I'm in the ground.
‎under the earth, do you believe

‎someone thinks that is the Stromberg
‎has burdened us with the work at that time?

‎Believe already, that who remembers,
‎but was not the Wehmeyer?

Ernie, you are real
‎a rare stupid bunch,

‎you really are beyond help!

‎I'm talking about cancer, here.

‎- In the head!
‎- pile? There I must say quite honestly

‎so I let me a lot of...
‎but not piles, that's the end.

‎- Ernie, so I have the--
‎- Nah!

‎[Music crashes out of the radio]

‎Yes, here comes Superman...

‎He should not have

‎It would be so great if
‎that works out, really,

‎really nice and big and green....
‎We'll probably get the apartment.

‎If you had walked up there like that,
‎we would have the place 100%.

It's also cool, as if I'm at 'ner
‎other woman would screw around.

‎You are such a bum.

‎Oh, it's so nice with you here.
‎Just wanted to say.

‎Tell me Ernie,
‎have you been eating pills again?

‎You are not supposed to drink alcohol with it.
‎drink with, but on it whistled!

So I was at the doctor earlier.
‎and is nothing.

‎Is a so-called age wart.

‎The... has nothing to do with age,
‎Simply a freak of nature.

‎Let me cut away now
‎the thing and bummsti.

‎Yes, here when Superman comes,
‎you always have to....

‎So at first moment you think.
‎you do, my dear Scholli.

‎But as I said, is nothing.
‎So everything cheerfully on.

‎Yes you also have to, here....



‎So, no matter what comes out of
‎the investigation comes out

‎it does not help at all, to get
‎to tip. With my father...

‎- Oh, no...
‎- That sounds now perhaps stupid.

‎But if you ever chat
‎want or so

‎So as I said,
‎I know all about that.

‎Oh, thank you, um....

‎But I'll come back to it.
‎A very... here...

‎Quite a fine move, Jennifer.



‎A beautiful pair, the savior
‎of the department and the Mrs. Schirrmann.

‎She is quite a fine fellow,
‎the Mrs. Schirrmann.

‎Only when it gets dicey,
‎you realize what friends you have.

Haha, the Mr. Wehmeyer,
‎what does he look like?


‎- Mr. Wehmeyer.
‎- Mr. Stromberg, greetings.

‎- Hello Wehmeyer, pleased to meet you.
‎- Schirrmann.

‎Hello, Burstedt from the other day,
‎do you want a beer?

‎Yes one, thank you.

‎I think that's great,

‎Mr. Wehmeyer, that you have
‎have realized that after all.

‎That with the accident consolidation.
‎You have to realize a mistake, after all.

‎Yes Erika, let it be,
‎first of all celebrate...

‎There is something going on with you.

‎Just a moment, hello!
‎Turn off the music for a moment there.

‎I have prepared something
‎because of carnival.

‎Yes we go first to Ernie
‎and then we'll have a nice... ne?

I have not been in a good mood lately...
‎in a good mood because of... you all know

‎but through Tanja and Ulf
‎and also Mr. Stromberg the other day

‎with the life and so, there had
‎you were right. I prepared something there.

‎So, I'll just get started. Like this.

‎Stressed out for many weeks,
‎the work is in every bone.

‎Eyes heavy, cheeks hollow,
‎that's how it went at Capitol.

‎Tate, tate!

‎Then Mr. Wehmeyer came too
‎and everybody thought ohweia,

‎he's going to make us do even more work
‎and everybody was in a very bad mood.

‎Everywhere was dead, but then he came
‎then came Strombose!


‎[all laugh].

‎He says that can accident consolidate
‎smear the boss in the hair of his head!

‎But unfortunately this is not true at all
‎it remains, nevertheless, as it was before.

‎The accident thing is not off the table,
‎we all get a wipe

‎And then have to do it anyway.

‎But today we can still laugh.
‎Tatää, tätää!

‎Mr. Stromberg lied to us,
‎but beer smoothes so many waves.

So now I quickly raise my glass
‎to Ulf, Tanja and Lars.

‎To Erika and Jennifer
‎and there I...

‎ahso and there I have
‎now still no rhyme.

‎What then? Mr. Stromberg
‎has said that himself.

‎He told me that we have to do that after all.
‎have to do that. After carnival.

Yes, he has that only because of
‎the Mr. Wehmeyer...

‎Then he had to pretend
‎as if that was off the table.

‎But I find that now also
‎not so bad anymore, because

‎life and so on,
‎that is much more important

‎and there he is simply right,
‎the Bernd.

‎[Piano music]