Stromberg (2004–2012): Season 2, Episode 10 - Tag der offenen Tür - full transcript

Open-door day.

[Pöhlmann] I thought we would make
a simple poster, up here

the lettering in the dark blue.

So not varicose blue,
more like plum blue.

[Pöhlmann] And then it says here:
"open day".

- Yes good, or here stop.
- [Becker] Mr. Stromberg...

Yes, what?
I'm making a suggestion here!

You are supposed to assist with internal
assist, nothing more.

Mr. Pöhlmann manages
an event agency,

I do not think that he needs
from you of all people.

No problem, really.

For the background
something graphic.

[Stromberg] As the boss, you also have to.
be able to withstand tension.

[Stromberg] When the air is cutting
is, you need to bring a knife.

You must play on the nerves of the
Others to play "La Paloma".

With a Turkish folk dance group
you can't go wrong.

[Pöhlmann] I have already worked with them at the
the trade union and with the SPD...

I'm sure it'll be good,
Kebab disco at the main entrance.

[Pöhlmann] We also have some
Clowns for the kids...

[Stromberg] I'm sure for some.
people a red rag.

[Stromberg] But, the bulls are all going.
Down on it. The cloth lasts forever.

[Pöhlmann] ...yes, the
Autograph session with Costa Cordalis...

...or the children's choir,
an idea of Mr. Becker...

I thought, before the speech of
Dr. Pohlenz, to lighten things up.

Well, children, I don't know...
They're usually very young, after all.

And image-wise for the Capitol....

[On the video, a children's choir sings.]

Oh God, the little fat one
in the costume!

[Stromberg] She looks like
like a pressed sausage.

[Pöhlmann whispers something to him]

I couldn't know that,
that this is your daughter, Mr. Becker.

[One of the children sings solo]

[The office chair rattles]

Yes, this is the archive.

So the line from the archive.
The actual archive is

here along the Ganz and then to the right.

I wanted to do something different.
Change of scenery.

Always just settling claims,
You're getting stupid.

And the archive is the heart
of the store.

This is where all the threads come together.

Claims settlement
is more the spleen.

One has, no one knows what for,

and in case of need it works without.

But the archive is the cerebrum!

Without archive is vinegar!

And vinegar alone is--

It's total shit here!

I have to go in and out of here all the time!

- Yes, this is Mr. Wuttke.
- If you block the ways!

- Mr. Wuttke also works here.
- Eh already everything so narrow here.

[Mr. Wuttke] What is this for anyway?

- That's--. They make--
- Television or what?

Television, yeah. Little
film about my everyday life.

Where you put me here
I was still drinking.

There was no TV coming either!

But I didn't make any jokes
about the boss's daughter.

Mr. Wuttke, that's nonsense now.
Daughter of the--

Listen, the green ones here, ne!?

We'll staple them nicely, won't we?
Not just staple!

Otherwise everything will get tangled up.
And then the search starts.

We don't even start
with something like this, Stromberg!

[Becker] Very nice, think
of the nails on the wall?

[Becker] Oh, Mr. Heisterkamp!

At the open day the
the department should present itself.

I thought of a tombola with prizes.
raffle with prizes.

Body spray, tie, soap, something...
I used to buy at the community--

- I was thinking more of an information table.
[Ernie] - That's good, too.

- Visual aids and so forth.
[Ernie] - Info table is great.

Yes, I would like you to take over that.

Yes, running.

And what do I have to do there now?

Best a few
advertising material from the print shop,

a big, long table,

Two, three examples of work,

- And keep me posted.
- Right.

[Ernie] I got on the dodge ball a lot.
girls' team.

Was totally good there sometimes though.

So, I come rather
from behind to the finish.

Heisterkamp. Hans, I need
a long table.

For the day of the off... exactly!

[Ernie] And since the punitive transfer.
of Mr. Stromberg.

there's a vacancy here for now.

[Ernie] And Mr. Becker sees there.
chances for me.

[Ernie] I also have now.
more responsibility

And "best horse in the stable" is what
he meant the other day, well, positively.

Yes, you can guess
what he means there.

Medium term.

Carrot, Saturday
is just bad,

because we have open office
and I am responsible

for the information booth.

What do you mean crappy info stand,
this is a career building block.

Sure, I'd like that too,

only... duty is duty
and your mother is your mother.

Yes, there was no need to
get so loud, acoustically.

Yes, listen... listen...

[Becker] I want you.
yes not permanently expose you.

[Becker] Just until your performance record
gets a little better.

And since you're at the back of the pack right now
Are, that shouldn't be hard to do.

All right?

I guess you sit
next to Mrs. Decker.

Soon we will find
a solution here.

So, you are going to change
change places on your own?

Yes super Tanja, you have
used correctly!

- Yes, what should I have done?
- You did nothing!

He says in principle here,
the Steinke is the

Flat pipe in the house and you so yes,
right, if

I think about it like that...

You can also not say
that you are working yourself to death here.

But that's not the point!

The other way round, he would have said
Seifert is the stupidest splash cow,

I would have said,
Now listen, my friend!

You don't talk about my girlfriend like that
Girlfriend, you dickless armchair farter!

[Becker] - Is something still unclear?
- Nah.

[Becker] Great!

[Old schunkel music crackles from
the radio]

So, can we turn off the
Can we turn it off?


[Stromberg] When you're in the swamp.

then you have to pull yourself
pull yourself out by your own hair.

Or by the hair
of someone else.

It's not about hair,
it's about the fucking swamp.

I don't mind a jeep,
The main thing is to get out of the swamp!

That's what it's all about!

[Gasps in fright.]

- Mr. Stromberg...
- [laughs] Naa, how...

can you manage without me?

Yes, in principle it works.

Yes, my grandfather had only one leg.
He also ran in principle.

But the question is how.

Um, yeah. I have a lot to do.

Yeah, sure.

And with Ulf? Didn't he propose to you?
Didn't he propose?

But you didn't...?
Very good!

A top woman like you, does not have to
not hang on to the first Ulf.

But otherwise everything here is
everything is scrapped without me.

All so with drooping ears.

So for the department
I would pull myself together again.

So out of the archive
and back here.

You would only have to say,
you preferred Stromberg.

Petition to the Becker,
I have prepared something...

- What are you doing here?
- Oh, Mr. Be-- Nix!

I just wanted to
to cheer up the colleagues.

Mr. Stromberg, you keep
the store from doing its work.

I'm not!
This was now--

I think we understand each other.

[Vacuum cleaner whistles]

If I have understood
understood, you think,

that your transfer to the archive
is not justified?

Dr. Heinemann, my point is
is that in the end

the department is the one who suffers.

The point is that you are
are incapable of making a department--

Please gentlemen, please!

We want to keep certain
basic rules.

Mr. Becker, the department
also sees it differently.

They signed a petition
that I should come back!

And some even
said that they would come back on the day of

open door to the
open door they want to chain themselves to.

Where I said, it's nonsense!

This shows that my department
on the human side--

Mrs. Tietze has been ill for weeks
sick, when did she sign?

When did she sign this?

Before you were transferred?


I called
and practically for her...

Kumar Bandhu spells himself with "h".

Did you sign for him
because he himself cannot?

He is Indian.
The man.

They have completely different
The boys have completely different characters.

[The copier buzzes]

[Tanja] Yes, now I almost have here

Grimace pile-up in the
Accident report written.

[Tanja] So um, because

And I almost wrote...

[Tanja] In the office it's like on a plane,

one has no influence on it,
next to whom one sits.

And in most cases you are unlucky.

[Tanja] Only, such a flight is sometime.
gone, but in the office you are.

every day 8 hours.

And this for years.

[Phone rings]


[Ulf] Phone sex is perfect
now, what are you wearing?

[Tanja] And then when you meet someone
meets someone with whom you can

gets along well
And with whom you can have fun

and maybe also has the
same interests,

then that is really something special.

Mr. Pöhlmann, everything clear?

Is there anything else I can do for you?
Questions, uncertainties?

[Pöhlman] - No desire for archive, huh?
- Huh?

I heard you are in the archive,
quasi the Siberia of the company.

Oh, no, that's all...

Nah, that fits, but I've lost
Gottlieb Wendehals fell away

for an autograph session
in the carpet wholesale market.

I have to quickly find a nose
that has already been on television.

Well, I've already talked to the manager of
Roland Kaiser's manager.

Since then the show business--

[Mr. Wuttke.]
I don't do the work alone!

Mr. Wuttke!

We still have to sort
sort all the fives!

- See you tonight!
- Mr. Wuttke, you see, I am--

Nix Mr. Wuttke,
let's get to the potatoes!

[Bert whistles like a bird]

Ernie, give it up, I'm not doing
stupid information booth for you.

This is herring salad,
the good one with the nuts!

I'll only be there for a short time on Saturday anyway.

Besides, I'm not going to make you
the funny aunt here anymore.

Erika, the mother of
Vanessa has birthday!

And also I have
still coconut stuff here!

Ernie. At some point
the gag will be over.

[Bert whistles like a bird]

[Stromberg] Ah, the Mr. Pöhlmann.

I thought again about the
Gottlieb Wendehals.

Maybe that would be something for me.

[Pöhlmann] - To what extent now?
[Stromberg] - Well, I'm doing--

Tell me, do you know
how this works?

[He hits the vending machine
and a can comes out]

The camera team accompanies
me everywhere.

My everyday work, ne?

[Pöhlmann ]- I have already seen...
[Stromberg] - Yes, exactly.

So, if the Gottlieb turncoat

gives autograph sessions,
I can do that too.

[Pöhlmann] I don't know exactly,
what you are getting at?

[Stromberg] I just have to
just get out of here

and take a breath,
it's already very stuffy here.

[Stromberg] You are of the
You're a kind of... I noticed right away...

[Stromberg] Wow, Mr. Pöhlmann!
Hats off, really!

[Stromberg] And if we both
throw this together...

She with her...

[Stromberg] - And my popularity--
- Popularity?

[Stromberg] Sure, I've been getting

on the street.
It's on television!

[Pöhlmann] - I've never seen that before.
- Dooch!

Spontaneous test please?

Here, just for a moment: Who am I?

What is this Mr. Stromberg?

- Can I go now?
- Yes, sure!

Huh? "Mr. Stromberg"!

[Bert] Life insurance, of course,
Or household contents, quite a lot.

[Ernie] For the house... Duty... Council,
so compulsory insurance...

[Older lady] Against theft.
We get broken into so much.

[Ernie] Yes, we have too!

Nah, put him in the cab....

[Stromberg] Popularity is something today.
used to be a doctor or noble title.

[Stromberg] It used to be called ah, da.
comes the count of so-and-so!

[Stromberg] Today it's called look,
the Jürgen from Big Brother!

[Stromberg] There I would be stupid, würd'
I wouldn't use that.

Here, step right in ladies!

[Woman] What is here?

This is the department...
Where you can get on television!

[Stromberg] - They're here because of me.
[Woman] - Because of the open day?

[Woman] - Where is that going on?
[Stromberg]- No, not because of the day.

of the open house, but because of me.
We make here 'ne...

That's right, you look
so familiar to me, too!

You are participating in this series,
Banned Love, right?

Nah. Stromberg!
Bernd Stromberg!

- Documentation about my everyday life!
[Woman] - Where you have such 'ne bakery?

Nah. But good idea:
Beckerei. [laughs]

Nah, insurance.
Here from the department.

The one with the commissioners in the afternoon?

Nope. Nix commissar, nix baker

this is a documentary
about the insurance, where the--

Yes, my daughter knows it for sure,
she watches all day.

Can I have an autograph for her?
Autograph for her?

[Woman] - I'm sure she'll be happy.
[Stromberg] - An autograph again!

You don't get anywhere! Ernie, give me...

[Woman] He's on TV!
He makes documentaries!

[Woman] - Thank you!
[Stromberg] - Please!

Oh, here, it does not tear off!

People want to observe me in
natural habitat.

Here for Thommy with "h".
Schitte bön!

- You are more famous than I thought.
- Oh, yes...

We should talk sometime.

I have several
I have several events going on in the month.

- Jürgen Drews for example.
- Jürgen Drews!

[Man] - What does that mean here?
- Bernd Stromberg. So come...

That's great!
Musically I am very...

I used to represent Ronald Kaiser
here in the house.

- Roland?
- Roland Kaiser represent...

[Man] Can you maybe get one for my
Brother-in-law one more?

But of course!

[Paper rustles]

Like this. Listen!

[I can't believe I'm in the store on my day off.
I'm in the store on my day off, ey!

[Ulf] - Totally sick!
[Tanja] - Just a quick look.

[Tanja] We're just going for a spin hm?

[Tanja] Look, do you know what was here?

Ne. Oh yes, here was the
Copier very early.

We have kissed
kissed properly for the first time!

Really? Where?

Or there?

[Tanja] Man, what's wrong with you?

I won't forget this
so fast!

Yes, I just have too soft a heart!

That's why I always donate.
Also sponsorships for zoo animals.

[Both laugh]

Mhm, here it's very simple.

Here are two, three precedents,

Here, household contents, liability,

here like the other insurances--

[Cell phone rings]

Carrots? Yes...

I'm on my way.

- Man Ernie...
- Just for a moment.

Old spoke, you must help us
help us out of the jam!

I have to catch the bus at 20 past.

Mr. Pöhlmann here
has broken off the clown.

[Pöhlmann] Yes, he stumbled stupidly
and now in the hospital.

Anyway, I said Peter,
I have a top guy for you.

A super clown!

Don't even need makeup!
Only the hair so little--

Erika, no, that's all now...

[Pöhlmann] - Can he pretend?
[Stromberg] - Do that with the eye!

Ahso, yes I can with the eye here....

[All laugh]

[Pöhlmann] Enough, come on. Wonderful!

It's great! Loudly such things!

I have a date with my girlfriend
and I have to take the bus...


What do you think,
who will go to the Becker tomorrow

and says that the Heisterkamp was
very bulky on the open day.

But then it's vinegar
with the career ladder.

You have to know that.

Come on, swing your hooves!

- And?
- He does it.

[Ernie] The times today.
are shaky professionally.

[I don't know what you do when you're a clown!
you do as a clown!

[Ernie] That's where everybody has to see that they.
there looks like, and where...

There you must
put everything else in the back.

[Ernie] The pleasure.
And life and stuff.

[Ernie] That's just where the job comes first.

[Ernie] That's just the way it is.

I did not make today's
I didn't make today's times.

- Carrot, that was an emergency!
- Shit Möhrchen, really!

You didn't even call
only sent an SMS!


For weeks I hear only
Work group, overtime...

Mr. Becker said this,
Mr. Becker has said this...

- If I make a career--
- Career! Look at you!!!

That was... A clown has
twisted his foot!

You're just getting screwed here!
Get it through your head!

Nah, that's not true,
not from all...

Mrs. Marquardt
for example, is very nice.

They don't even know
what your real name is. Ernie!

Ernie, that's just because of
Ernie and Bert, Sesame Street!

Sesame Street!?

You are the jumping jack
for the whole club!

[Ernie's girlfriend] And I was happy
happy that we are going to my mother.

- Yes...
- Yes!

[Ernie's girlfriend] And instead you're running around
you're running around here in a dork outfit!

Yes, but...

[Honks nose.]

I'm doing it for us!

That on vacation
can also say,

no matter, we take half board!

Or we don't look at 'n thaler,

just a pair of shoes
out of line.

Man, I don't want no fucking shoes!

You really don't understand anything!

Jesus, Ernie,
where are you?

The goody bags still have to be
still to be distributed!

- No, I want to--
- Come now do!

[Coffee bubbles]

It may happen that I come in
come in with vacation requests.

Here times 'n day, there times 'n day,
if Peter has something for me.

- Mr. Pöhlmann?
- Yes, we have a deal.

I make him appearances
at his events.

Autograph sessions, etc. pp.

I think for two, three thousand euros,

you can invest
invest a vacation day.

Per appearance!

And if this runs, there is still more in it!

Charity event on Sylt,
with Roberto Blanco!

Tony Marshall, Bata... Um...

And and...
And if that goes right,

you can look for the Wuttke
but find a new partner.

Yes, I will deal with that
deal with that when the time comes.

[Cheap department store music in the background.]

Yes, now we are at the Meyer car dealership....

Meyerhans, yes?
They're celebrating their seventh anniversary right now.

It's a little quieter right now.

Wait, what can I write for you?

[Man] - Do they have sausages?
- Yes, back there.

Here, go ahead and take an autograph!

As I said, just now
still the devil loose!

And next week I have something again!

There I am in...

Niedernberg, with Bernd Clüver.

What did he sing again?
Never mind.

[Same music as before.]

[Tanja] - You, Wusel?
[Ulf] - Huh?

Do you have a moment?

What makes it so solemn?

I um...
You asked me something the other day.

And I gave a stupid answer.
I gave a stupid answer, so...

I want to make up for it with this.

A cake?

It says "Yes" on it.
Didn't "Tanja" fit on it or what?

Yes you, I have no idea,
what did I ask you?

[Whispers in his ear]

And then you baked a cake or what?
Did you bake a cake or what?

Yes. Chocolate nut.

All homemade,
without stupid baking mix.

All by myself.
Oh, and...

Actually I wanted to bake it in with
with it, but then...

Maybe you would
you would somehow...

[Erika and the rest sing liltingly
the wedding melody]

[Giant spectacle in the office]

[Everyone claps and congratulates]

[Everyone shrieks as they kiss]

[Ulf] You always think in the office that there.

Never really happens.

[Ulf] And then that happens.
whole life.

- Kind of.
- He's already had two champagne.

Nah, you know what I mean?

So when you come back in 'a year,

who knows what is there?

You are so cute when you
make on thoughtful.

[Ernie! Do you also want
a nip, come on!

[What is it? Because of carrots?

She has probably somehow
broke up with him.

Oh Ernie, it will be
all right!

Other mothers have
beautiful daughters, too.

All right, then
I'll have one for you.

My whole heart is aching.

Here, in there.

It's all broken now.

Oh Ernie.

Hui, what are you celebrating

Ernie, old clown!
Are you doing local rounds again?

Well Mr. Stromberg?
Known from radio and television?

Yes, it is already
got around that I...

Come on, a champagne
I drink with here.

[Stromberg] Overall, I have to say,
I am very satisfied.

Have a new apartment,
a little smaller, but great!

Here with the work is also, um....

Ne, so everything is good.

[Wuttke] I have told you a hundred times
that it is not possible in here!

[Staples the stuff noisily together]

Now turn it off there!

[Skin back on the stapler.]

I said turn off there!
Stop that nonsense!!