Stromberg (2004–2012): Season 2, Episode 9 - Die Kündigung - full transcript

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
---
[clears throat]

Doctor... this is how it goes....

Vanessa also always says,
I have gifted hands...

[But really...

[Tanja] You could learn
learn something like that.

- Great, that's cool.
- Great, that's great, of course.

Erika, my whole inbox and so
etc., that's all cabbage and turnips,

my cross entries are all separate.

Yes, sure... the in-house mail has been
been changed... since Monday.

[Ernie] It should be much more efficient
so...

[Erika] Mr. Becker has nevertheless...



Didn't you know that?

Yes...yes...that....

Man, the Becker makes Stromi but
the breakfast director...

He had no idea about the changeover,
did you see that?

Do you need dead pants,
just ask Mr. Strombose.

[all chuckle]

I was just... that was just....

a fun...

Morning!

- What about the weekly conference?
[Mrs. Kemper] - It was already....

- What? Why... it's only...
[Mrs. Kemper] - It was today at nine.

Aha, and why don't I know about it,
Mrs... Kemper?

"...the participation of Mr. Stromberg,
no longer necessary, therefore ..."

Why is that?



[Stromberg] Office is like swimming.
under sharks,

a slight nosebleed,
immediately closing time,

[Stromberg] They're all waiting.
just waiting for you to...

[Stromberg] There you can for years
be the cow that gets the cart off the ice...

[Stromberg] as soon as you 1Mal bockst,

[Stromberg] as soon as you buck just once.
break in the ice,

[Stromberg] that's when the sharks are right there.

[Stromberg] Yes, that's how it is...

[Stromberg] There you do and do.
for years... and then you are put out to cold.

Just because you might have made here and there
here and there 'n small mistake have made.

Private... on 52 sqm, the dear wife
in the menopause, makes ramba zamba...

I don't even have a sofa or a kitchen table at home anymore.
or a kitchen table.

On a fucking camping chair
you sit there,

with a can of ravioli in front of the TV in the evening...

like Heinz Doof...

and that, where you think that this is also
a piece of your family or something,

they all laugh at you...

they are all laughing at you... behind your back,
behind your back.

But, I can also be a shark...

I am the black shark
among the white ones.

Like sheep, but the other way around.

So.

[Copier]

[Tanja] Maybe you just go....

[Tanja] - To the toilet, if it's so necessary!
[Ernie] - What, why...

Oh, no...
we're doing the dance class...

- Oh... I see...
- Salsa and Marengue...

And Darios, our teacher, said,
I have Spanish roots in my blood...

- so... so from the rhythm...
- One hundred percent...

- I bet your grandpa was a torero.
- Nah, my grandpa was....

Well, tight ass, how does it look?

Ulf, I would also like to do a dance class.

- Yes, go ahead...
- With you, you peat nose...

- Hm, sure, am I gay or what...?
- It was logical that something like this would happen...

Besides, can't I dance perfectly?

Great, that's not what I meant.

Yes, but salsa is not like that.
Salsa is... like this!

Here, Tanja...

- Ok, you go back with the...
- Ok...

And then forward, to the side...

Like this, and then like this...

- Wow, Ernie!
- Super, ne! Yes, and there's still this...

[Tanja] If you are not interested in carburetors.
interested, it is quite difficult,

[Tanja] with Ulf somehow 'n conversation.
To have a conversation, right...? so...

so common interests in the sense ...
we actually have rather not...

although I already know
how offside works... sometimes...

[Tanja] and about rims.
I know a lot now...

[Tanja] is also already much more romantic
become...

although... nah, not really...

is just a man...

So, we are now
on the way to Helios,

Insurance...

In terms of sales volume easily two
numbers bigger than Capitol...

Go ahead and drive, you jerk!

When you see how they all drive
you know,

why Germany is not moving forward...

Where was I?

I applied for a job there once on doof,
was there also for the job interview,

and that went quite well, I say...

with us goes somehow for me nix
further, and at Helios,

yes, maybe they didn't wait for me
waited for me... but...

[Horn honks]

People, people, driving license
on a rickshaw, or what?!

[Horns honking]

But, they would not invite me for the second
Invite me for the second time, without an interest in me,

would they?

So, how much do I look like? Best.

Mr. Stromberg,

Last time you forgot
a few details about your person...

Here, for example... marital status?

Single --> that is, single,

respectively, married,
but not at the moment...

so divorced... soon... yes...

- Your age?
- 40, early 40's... two and....

come on, I'll just do it myself...
it's not a problem...

As said:

Since the departure of our
Our leader's departure, it has been a problem child.

I see...

The deputy is not up to the task
As up to the task as we would like.

- Ah, such a thing is, of course...
- That's why the decision is hurried.

We are looking for a fresh executive,
with experience in claims settlement...

I am! Got it!

I am the ideal mixture
of young, but very experienced...

one finds in the form...
otherwise only on'm streetwalking ...

[Laughter]

Yes...

Perfect! And we need someone who can
can join us as soon as possible.

No problem, if the money is right,
I'll join immediately...

also like on the street.

Well, I would say, if anything, then the
the Helios is rather a posh whorehouse.

All the better! At my age you don't want to stand
no longer want to stand at the curb!

If you want the job, from our side
nothing stands in the way of cooperation...

- Really?
- Yes, you thought,

we'd let you come back on a whim?
You don't look that good!

[both laugh]

[shakehands]

[Stromberg] Yes, dear ones,
I'll say bumsti! Or?

When you think it goes no more,
then the Helios comes along!

Yes, grandma then also go!

Man, he says all of a sudden
"if you want the job..."

and I think I have a hearing loss!

Coal-wise even better than now,

Stromberg's zero hour...
like Germany after the world war...

everything beautifully in the ass and then zack
economic miracle and then world champion.

Here, I, the miracle of Bernd...

[turns on radio]

I feel like Jesus
on Easter Sunday...

Cross away, and so on and
once again really spit in the hands.

[on radio: 'Abba']

[singing along to 'Waterloo']

[chimes in with "Helios!"]

- Can you actually massage feet?
[Ulf]- Say, I'm eating right now... okay....

[Ernie] No, that's a foot zone reflex thing.
reflex thing, that's something completely different....

[Tanja] But this is great...

[Erika]
Kids, stomach first, I'm hungry.

Tanja you have it good!

[Tanja] I totally envy Ernie's friend,
a man who can dance and massage...

You can change places, I bet after the first night
after the first night you come back crying.

[Tanja]
Ulf, really... you also think everything is just....

You're not such a super piercer either.

Say, you've got, you've got....

[pissed off]

- Leave it, leave it...
- It just slipped out...

[Ernie] Yes, of course that's no use at all
nothing at all for the relaxation!

[Stromberg] - What's the matter with him?
[Erika] - Oh, nothing...

Well, Mr. Stromberg, back again?

You can call
call everyone together.

- I was just going to the canteen....
[Stromberg] - Yes, come later... first...

I can also tell you directly...

I have a new job.

Nice management position. At Helios.

Right away 'make a general announcement....

Yes, that's how it looks kids,
you will soon get a new boss

Oh, is Mr. Becker leaving too?

[all chuckle]

Then I say congratulations,
don't you?

[Erika] I had a dog when I was a child,
Uncle Herbert was his name,

and when I was 12, 13 or so
I found him incredibly annoying...

he has always so growled and barked,
and I always had to go out with him.

And one day he is quite stupid
on a hedgehog,

he was also a bit stupid,
Uncle Herbert,

and then it all got infected,
and then he was suddenly dead.

And then all of a sudden
really missed him...

[Staff congratulating]

[Erika] It will be the same with Stromberg,
Once he's gone.

[Staff Congratulations.]

[Employee congratulations]

Once again for everyone to take note:
The dad goes...

to the next first in a
Leadership position to Helios...

I can imagine that some now
no longer come out of the celebration.

If it were up to me, I would take
I would like to take all of you with me.

[Employees.]
If the pay was right!

[Stromberg] Seriously...

I am now since...

22 years here in the shed....

and when you then so at one time...

the bang here is then nevertheless
closer than you think.

[Stromberg] Here, you can't find such beautiful cups
at Helios for sure.

Yes, all joking aside, I must say, you guys have
have grown on me in the time.

Here's the woman... uh...

Dings, he, the Tanja,

Ulf, ne... all top performers... really....

So bad
you were not that bad as a boss...

[repeated]

[all laugh]

Nah, no shit,
you are a great bunch,

Erika too...
even if I get lightning herpes,

when I see how the sausage fingers disappear
disappear again in the glass there...

[Ernie] So, to pick on Erika here now
to pick on Erika, I don't think so...

Ernie, nobody wants that, to pick on
Erika... that was just...

even if she would like that,
that once again someone picks on her...

Lirumlarum... that was a joke!

The Erika makes now times constantly somewhere
with her fingers and afterwards so...

if that is not disgusting,
then I don't know...

No, so what I find lowest
I have to say...

Gottogott... that has to be
you of all people...

stinks like a polecat, but then here big
Tones spit...

[Stromberg] The Ernie...

Huh, what is it! Kids,
what I wanted to say is,

that on the human level it is
quite outstanding, regardless of the outside.

Yes, Erika, is nevertheless now times thick,
there bites but the mouse no...

she is not chubby, she is fat. And
Ernie stinks, and not too badly.

But that has to do with the quality
as an employee...

Ah, they are all so humorless here....

[Stromberg] Boah, am I glad,
when I'm soon out of here.

[Stromberg] Honestly.

[deodorant spray is heard]

[Door slams]

Well, sometimes you do
first like this with your fingers and then like...

So what? That's not a reason...

Or do you also find it so disgusting?

Nah, you guys are really....

such a shit,
I don't have to...

Get lost!

[Tanja] We have talked about it so often...
talked about it...

I think,
Ernie can really sweat on command....

- Just leave Ernie alone!
- What is it with you and Ernie all the time?!

The number with the "super stabber"
and so... what was that all about?

Listen,
I really didn't mean that...

- Yes great....
- That just slipped out of my mouth....

That kind of thing sucks...

Especially when everyone is there and stuff....

But when Stromberg says that Ernie
stinks, then that's not shit...

But with Ernie it is true!

If it is more than 15 degrees outside, you can
you can smell Ernie all the way to the accounting department.

Well, so'n real gag
was that earlier from me now also not...

What?

Now don't make a drama out of it...
it's just...

[Oh Ulf...

[Vacuum cleaner]

There is a reason that the turnover
at Helios...

is a good bit bigger than in this
than in the booth here... different mood...

There you can make a joke,
and not everyone looks at you wrong...

Yes, they called again earlier,
bingo, bongo, that's all through,

Honestly, I don't shed a single tear for the shed
here not a single tear after ...

Oh here, on cue....

[Becker] - Meal time.
[All] - Meal.

[Becker] Well, I had imagined the gourmet pot
I had imagined differently...

Mr. Wehmeyer, the quarterly reports
from C3, will I still get them this week?

There, that's what I mean!
Here is always just nice raboti, raboti....

On your numbers I wait by the way also
still, Mr. Stromberg!

[Stromberg] You can wait even longer
wait for it...

Do you think I will be treated
like Karl Arsch at the medical examination,

"Stromberg, where are the numbers?"

Mr. Stromberg, even if you
won't be working here much longer...

If you think you can deal with the
people here like... please...

But not with me anymore.

I think I will then probably
eat somewhere else...

[Becker] And you I would like to....

We are not here with the
Cotton pickers, ne!!!

[Stromberg]
I'm just open and honest...

[Stromberg] if one 'n thick pile.
laying, I can't say.....

Hmm that's some yummy chocolate pudding.

This attitude is simply lacking in most.
In the office...

[Stromberg] you have to go there, too.
where it hurts. Times bitter truths say.

If one is fat, one is fat,
if one is stupid, one is ...

So maybe there was a mistake here,
that I didn't do that enough.

I say quite self-critically.

It is also important that you do not always
only say, I have the longest...

I, I, I... No!

That one also looks,
where I am not yet perfect...

where can I still...

and I will do that in my new job
I'm sure I'll do it differently in my new job.

[Becker] You don't talk in that tone.
to me, like earlier in the canteen, yes?!

Not as long as you are still
are still employed here...

I am writing my resignation, thanks to
of your "new system" at the in-house post office....

You have not even begun to understand
why I have changed the system...

You have missed 10 years of insurance
technical progress...

And I guarantee you one thing:

If you do not adopt a completely
different working attitude,

then this will be a very short guest performance
at Helios.

Yes, I will write you
a card, Mr. Becker.

[Clattering]

Mr. Pötsch! Will you come here for a moment?

Mr. Pötsch will head the department
as acting head of the department as soon as you are gone,

and we have found a successor.

You are going to Helios, I heard?
That's where I used to be...

They also cook only with very lukewarm
I'm sorry to say...

[Becker]
Do you want to take over the office then?

A bit musty, but for the transition....

- Musty...?
[Becker] - Well, that's settled then...

Yes, then I say: Good luck,
with the Heli Chaos.

- How?
- Heli Chaos.

We used to say...
was such a saying with us.....

When are you leaving? On Monday or?

Yes, exactly he has twelve days
Remaining vacation, Friday he is then gone.

Friday he is gone. Then I already
times 'n few things of me here purely.

[Keyboard]

[Telephone rings]

Seifert.

[Tanja] Ne, he is not there.

[Keyboard]

I can send them to you later
with the house mail later.

Good. Bye.

[Ulf] Sure, I'm not like that now.
the women's whisperer, that's true.

With a car, you step on the gas,
and the car goes faster...

With a woman... pfff...

you don't know at all,
where you are...

[Ulf] I know, the Tanja, she wants that.
I also want to do a fucking dance class...

[Ulf] or somehow
something "romantic"...

but how exactly and what and further....

there one simply does not see through...

[Stromberg]
Well? It's already written on the bulletin board that I...

God, they are all such
such diploma students.

Humor is here 'n quite
thin little plant...

[Mr. Stromberg, very briefly...

Ulf... you have a face like a hearse...
like a hearse...

I'm glad that I'll be out of here soon...

I wanted to ask if I... yes, 'half a day off
can take half a day off... so today.

- Now...
- Why?

Yes...

Oh god, because of Schnupps or what?

Boy, oh boy! That is also with you
more hickhack than with Adolf and Eva.

Yes, Tanja is also getting to that age now.

She still has a few crisp years, but
then she must also slowly see...

and the women, they have for it 'n
very fine sensorium for it.

She notices immediately, ah Ulf,
he does nothing, he just wants to play...

therefore tip from the expert:

Have a nice closing time.

- What about the half day now?
- Yeah, come on.

You will get the few hours
still get around.

[Printer noise]

Mr. Stromberg, keep your seat....

I have not counted at all,
that I would be here again today...

otherwise I would have wiped
wiped briefly through the crotch

Is unfortunately an urgent topic...

Eieiei... that begins already well...

You have indicated here in the personnel sheet
Your age is 42...

but from the other documents I can see
however, that you are already 45...

Hmm... number transposition... 42, 45....

One is always as old as one feels...
so, I'm feeling in my early, mid 30's....

Our limit was actually 40,
that was also in the announcement.

At 42 we would have closed both
eyes closed,

because you would have been a suitable candidate for us
for us, but 45...

Yes, but...I say that after '45
come the best years.

It was the same with Germany.

Mr. Stromberg, you have deliberately
tried to deceive us here.

That cannot be a basis for cooperation.
cooperation, I hope you understand that.

Uh... what does that mean now?

Does that mean that you're not going to let me... after all?

As I said: Under these circumstances
we see no basis for cooperation.

[Stromberg] Schalke, Schalke!

[Stromberg] Mr. Becker, I've been thinking about the
Helios story again...

[And in China a sausage
a sausage burst...

[Stromberg] That is then nevertheless much
with traveling around...

I don't care at all what you do,
Mr. Stromberg.

Oh God, the Schalke block ... na,
you losers, eat something too?

Yes, I was just about to go to the canteen anyway....

I feel a bit sick,
maybe I better go...

[Rumbling]

- Ah, you're doing really well.
- Listen... I uh... yeah...

Have you been taking lessons?

Tanja, pay attention, I know,

lately...
not everything went so great...

- Shit, I can't do this kind of stuff....
- What is it?

I actually wanted to ask if we
somehow want to get engaged or something?

These are now only so provisionally,
because I did not have so much time.

And thought, this is...

Oh, Wusel, this is...

I do not know
what to say...

Yes, maybe first "yes", or so....

Is also first 'n "maybe" enough?

[Vacuum cleaner]

[Coffee bubbling]

[Pötsch]
I would like to have the windows gone from here.

[Pötsch]
and these elements that are on C3,

[Pötsch] I would like to put them there.
put there. Do you think that would work?

[Caretaker] - Should work...
[Pötsch] - Would be great...

[Pötsch] Mr. Stromberg...

I wanted to...
this is more of a cubbyhole...

these white things with the chrome,

[Pötsch] I wanted to put them here,
a bit more modern...

- and make it more upbeat...
- I... uh... I'm not going anywhere...

That was a misunderstanding...

- But we have recently...
- Yes, no, it has changed...

Vertan, vertan said the cock
and got off the duck.

Yes, but you have already
written a resignation?

- Huh? Yes, no, no...
- Yes, yes...

I even have an e-mail here,
that I get the office...

There you should perhaps...

Time to turn to the very top and clarify this.

[Pötsch] Anyway, I thought,
that there would be another 'plant there.

[Pötsch] How do you want to solve that now,
with the window area.

[Janitor] I would say,
We're flexing the entire front off here.

[Pötsch] That's nothing load-bearing.
here, ne.

[Janitor] Nah, that's all sheetrock,
You can bend it away like that.

[Becker] You have seen,
that Mr. Stromberg

[Becker] hid here this morning
was hiding here this morning,

to intercept the house mail....

But this is nonsense...
I wanted to refill paper at the copier!

According to Mrs. Kemper, you were
crouched behind the copier...

Yes, exactly... so...

I was looking for the flap for the paper....

You mean this one?

After all, it was still dark and everything....

Anyway, there was no notice at all,
there is none in the mail...

And after your changeover
of the postal system, it should be...

But you were at Helios, weren't you?

I thought, you can have a look....

just, then I was there and....
sayonara Aunt Klara...

a pile of chaos. So it was clear to me right away,
That I was definitely going to be at Capitol,

even though they really wanted me!
But...

I have it with those then so gemauschelt,
that they could not take me at all...

In other words:
They didn't want to quit,

have never quit,
and still do not want to quit?

[Becker.]
But we can give you notice,

the crap you've done,
you can pile it up umpteen stories high....

Yes, but it is time-barred...

You can say... the crap... to that extent....

Yes, yes...

[Stromberg] Uncomfortable employees,
Who also think out loud sometimes,

who interfere,
who have their own opinion,

those who swim against the tide,
are dumped here... in the store.

[Stromberg] Sure, the squeaky wheel.
will be replaced first.

[Stromberg]
Only, does 'n car drive better with 3 wheels?

Of course not!

But they don't think that far here...

This place is like South Africa.

where a man like Mandela just
times 30 years

in' jail, because he is inconvenient.

Because of me nobody makes such a fuss
as now with Mandela.

No T-shirts, no benefit concerts,

no UN, no nothing.

In this respect I am, if you take it exactly,
even harder than that one...

[Stromberg]
But I keep fighting, there I know nothing.

[Stromberg] I am 'n rebel!

[Stromberg] And if they do, they're going to have to get me.
carry me out of here feet first.

[Stromberg] That much is certain...