Stormester (2018–…): Season 5, Episode 7 - 1-2-3-hat - full transcript

I cannot multitask!

- Take care, Mark.
- Lasse.

- How tight these pants are!
- Eww, how disgusting.

- Why?!
- I can't anymore!

- It's damn draft beer.
- Sure.

Welcome to Stormester.
My name is Lasse Rimmer. I'm the Stormester.

Tonight is the second last chance to impress me -

- for our five-leaf clover consisting of:
Linda P!

Simon Talbot!

Sofie Jo Kaufmanas!

Jonas Mogensen!



And Tobias Rahim!

I feel the most at home sitting next
to my faithful squire Mark le Fêvre.

There is something at stake in every single program.

Not just on a seasonal basis.
Who has a prize with them?

Simon Talbot, you have brought something great?

Yes. Something I would hate to get rid of.
Namely the microphone for my new show.

I spent a lot of time refining my show.

Tonight's winner gets five minutes in my new show.

If you want to go on stage and sing
"Little Peter Spider" for five minutes -

- in the Falconer Hall in front of 2000 people, well just do it.

Would you feel comfortable going on stage
after I had performed for five minutes?

So your gift is that you get us for free in your show?

Are you sure you want to do this?
You can risk Jonas winning.

That was actually what I wanted to say.



- Simon, can you guarantee free rein in those five minutes?
- Yes.

I sit and think about whether one could sell it to a political party.

Please welcome, Rasmus Paludan [far-right personage].

I'm just going to cut it.

Mark, shouldn't we get started? Where do we begin?

I'm not saying you wish me harm.

I'm just saying that it is you who wrote this task.

It's damn good you have a helmet on.

Hi, Mark le Fejebakke. [dustpan]

- What’s up, Marko?
- What’s up, Tobias?

- Should we test it?
- We can do that.

You resemble the boys I was targeting in fifth grade.

- Fifth grade? Okay.
- Yes. Pardon.

I sense something with stunts.

Is there anything I need to take into
account? Anything worth noticing?

It should just be a task, but otherwise not.

"Rotate Mark."

Sure, "Rotate Mark." I thought it said something like, "Rat Mark."

No … No, I'm really sorry.

"You have ten minutes to prepare."

"And one try."

"You must not affect Mark's rotation after it has been started."

"The most rotations about Mark's own axis wins."

"Time starts now."

You were quick to press..

- Like you have to turn around?
- Yes, exactly.

- You're getting sick.
- You have an idea?

Yes, but you won't like it.

Exactly the words I had hoped to hear, Simon.
Where do we start?

I have a super hard time with rides that spin around.

Yes it's true.

And then it does not help that the security representatives -

- are named Simon and Sofie.

Swing. Swing, swing, swing.

I think we can get a lot of rotation out of this.
I’m being sweet, we don’t take the gross swing.

Please film this nasty shit. We’ll go with this one.

You can rejoice, Mark.

28, 29, 30 … 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45 …

- 45 is my prediction.
- Was it an accurate measurement?

Well yes, it is the most accurate. It’s how you measure up
in Silvan [hardware store], if you want to buy some wood.

So.

A squared plus B squared gives C squared.
And the free fall …

- Like that.
- Yes, it's super comfortable.

- Then we’re ready. Three, two, one.
- Well, that's good.

Start time.

- Oh no, this is going to be awful.
- It's going to go really fast.

- This is going to be awful.
- One, two …

… three, four, five …

- You got it.
- Oh no. It's an awful task.

14. Hands up, Mark. 15, 16, 17 …

But it looks cool, Mark. You're doing well.

- 29, 30 …
- No, I’ll just look away, I'm getting a little dizzy.

- Shut your fat shitty mouth!
- 37, 38, 39, 40 …

That's good, Mark. You're almost there.

- You're almost there. Hold on.
- It just keeps on going.

- For how long will it last?
- Hold on.

57.

Keep going.

Oh no. No, it spins around a lot.

60.

So, get up. Great shit.

And then it's over, okay.
That was a damn good effort by me.

Surprisingly well solved by someone
who remembers mathematics lessons -

- as A squared plus B squared … and the free fall.

You thoughtfully choose the clean swing,
but then it's nice I have Simon in reserve.

You also find a hacksaw. What's the point of that?

Then I can get more rotations.

If I had to spin the two robes, it would be
difficult to make it go all the way up.

So if I sawed one off, I could get more rotations.

I think it is obvious to everyone that he’s using
A squared … equals B squared plus C squared.

- Is it not the equation you use?
- Yes, yes. The square root of the hyperbola becomes …

The frightening thing is that I can’t say whether it’s true or not.

How well did it go for them?

We saw Sofie use the very precise measurement method -

- which can be used for not a whistling wind.

You thought it was 60 rotations. It was only 49.

- Well, how beautiful. 49.
- Yes.

It's beautiful. Thanks.

Thank you very much. Thanks.

- Simon, it was 69.
- Oh yeah.

Yes, it was the sawing and the squared plus …

The first two solutions are related.
Who are we going to see now?

Jonas, who’s going in a completely different direction.

And I just want to emphasize that we were
not done with the recordings for the day -

- when I had to do what you are about to see.

The tasks that followed were, let’s say, exciting.

Yes.

Yes. This will require an effort from you as well.

Have you ever tried a tequila slammer,
or boom, or whatever they’re called?

- I can say no to that.
- Then it will be your first.

You chug a proper tequila shot and I slam you over the head.

My thesis is that this combination of
tequila and a wee slap on the neck -

- will make it spin for you. That's my solution.

- Why does it have to be so much?
- Because it needs to work!

Sure, it's just a little drink.

It’s possible that I’m just not North Jutlandic enough.
Go ahead and explain to me the thoughts behind it.

It is obvious. You chug a tequila, get a slap
on your head, and then it all turns around.

Mark, did it spin after you emptied the tequila
and got a slap with a carpet beater?

- It was due to the production team. I wanted to go with the shovel.
- I really like original solutions.

The thing with the “own axis” fucked me up. Had there been
a wholesale warehouse close by, I would have driven out there.

They have such a thing where you wrap film around a pallet.

- I have spent a lot of time there.
- Me too, handling that one …

- Could it not be awesome?
- Yes.

And then let him suffocate slowly inside it.
"But the production needs him for the next season.”

Yes.

- But really was it your bid?
- Yes.

Compared to …

Yes, but I should give you a chance because
you are somewhat behind, are you not?

- Please just shut up. There's still Linda.
- You're so vicious.

- But I can't even see her from where I’m sitting.
- I have told all my friends: "Sofie is so mean."

And they say, "Who?"

Jonas, as I value original solutions -

- I’ll kindly round up to one whole rotation around its own axis.

We are missing two who have not yet caused
you any dizziness. Who are we going to see?

We are missing Tobias and Linda,
and here we are working with some …

- Good solutions.
- Yes, arh …

Again I come to think of something.
That leaf-blowing thing, you know?

- Yes.
- Do we have a chair that can turn?

- I sense a decent amount of self-confidence.
- If you sit down here, Mark.

I just found it, the one with the air.

I just need to see if it works.

Now.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

I spotted this one earlier.

You're coming, Mark.

- And what do we say, the plan is?
- I'll just drive it warm for you.

Yes. Yes.

It works very well, I think.

Okay, are you ready? Then you keep this rotation.

- Yeah okay.
- Then just hold it.

I didn’t attend physics lessons, but I think it works, Mark.

Yes.

I cannot hear what you are saying.

Born to be wild.

Like that.

I have to move on. No more of this nonsense now.

It’s just now that you get to see the solutions of the others.

Simon sees your task, Tobias, and says:

"That’s it!" How satisfied are you?

I just want to say that Tobias Rahim is
always looking for win-win solutions.

No matter who you are out there who wants to work with me.

Win-win.

I care about Mark's comfort.
I care about the comfort of the audience.

I believe in being able to move on from a joint project -

- with a kind of dignity and a kind of victory.

I’ll ask reluctantly … but should it not be around one's own axis?

- Own axis?
- I still don't know what that means.

- Simon and I will teach you afterwards.
- The task must be uncomfortable.

How long did you sit on that electric scooter?

Until the battery ran out.

It was almost exactly four rigid hours.

Well that … Yes.

- But, Lasse, own axis?
- Now I step into character as the mathematical student that I am.

Own axis implies that a vertical line
must pass through Mark somewhere.

Mark did not. He rotated around a point in a circle.

No, how unfortunate, Tobias.

- I got one round.
- May I say something?

That’s the common understanding of a person's area.

It’s a real thing.

A dog can smell if you have stress or if you
have your period or if you are in heat …

- Why did you point at me?
- It can come on here.

- "Uh, bad vibe."
- Funny, because I'm in heat.

But listen up, there’s a larger area
around people than what you can see.

- About two meters out ...
- No, so ...

Now don't be so solemn.

In 30 years, they will find that the human area is larger.

Shut up, how lucky it is that you are attractive,
because you are too much. Jesus fucking Christ.

You have not broken the rules, but are listed for zero rotations.

You are still on the scoreboard, but just
below the man with the carpet beater.

Therefore, I ask Mark to tell how the points are distributed.

There is a single point for you with zero rotations.

There are two points for you, Jonas,
with one rotation and a headache.

Three for Linda with 41 rotations.
Four points for Sofie with 49 rotations -

- and five points to Simon Talbot for 69 rotations.

With Talbot in the lead we’ll take on a playful task.
Are you ready for a quick round of “1, 2, 3, hat”?

- The classic game 1, 2, 3, hat?
- Yes, as we all know and love.

- With such simple rules that kids and grownups alike …
- Never heard of it.

- Bonsoir.
- Hi, Mark le Fernando.

Hot damn partner. You're looking fine tonight.

You look like Zorro but without the big upper body.

- It looks nice.
- You too.

- It looks good on you.
- Do you think?

- Everything that covers your head.
- Any favorites?

- Where is the task?
- Uha ...

There you were.

Complete most games 1, 2, 3, hat.

- It's not a sentence.
- Should I know what it is?

A round of the game starts when you drop a ball ...

... and is completed when it lands after a jump ...

... on exactly three non-living surfaces ...

- I understand none of this.
- 1, 2, 3 and down in the hat.

- 1, 2, 3, hat.
- 1, 2, 3, hat?

You must not affect the ball after the start of a game.

I must not take the bowling ball, throw it
onto a platter and then use your head ...

- Like that.
- No.

Do not use the same surfaces again.

- You have 20 minutes.
- Most completed games wins.

You must use the first ball you touch.

Time starts now.

It’s completely far out, this. You are simply born a dickhead.

Your mother said in church:
"We baptize him: Mark Dickhead le Fedtkant."

I hate having to talk down to an
entire nation of 1, 2, 3, hat-lovers.

This is the game where the rules are
explained in the name of the game.

But let's take it again for people who have never heard of it.

Fine. 1, 2, 3, hat, you need a ball.

It must hit three surfaces. Like this chair, this chair -

- and this floor and down into a hat. 1, 2, 3, hat.

It would be an advantage to have a ball that can bounce.

But you also have to use the first one
you touch. In Linda's case, a bowling ball.

- I really want to see that.
- Let's see how it went, Linda.

We're getting started, Mark. 1, 2, 3, hat. Voila, what?

- Was it down in the hat? Hat …
- Linda!

It was a mistake. It was not on purpose.

1, 2, 3, hat. What? 1, 2, 3, hat.

1, 2, 3, hat. Bum, it was there. It hit. Like that.

It is good. Hop, hop. 2, 3 ...

Hop, hop, hat. Hop.

1 ...

1, 2 ...

... hat.

There was an actual chance of breaking your leg.

I'm sorry, Mark. That was vicious.

- Linda. You did your best.
- Yes. Thank you, Lasse.

And it was very poor. Who are we going to see now?

When playing the classic game 1, 2, 3, hat …

There must be someone who has done worse than me.

When playing 1, 2, 3, hat, there are rules to read -

- and understand. I'm just mentioning it,
because now we have to see Sofie.

Show mine so Linda can see how it should be done.

You must not affect the ball after the start.

1, 2, 3, hat, then you cannot go 1, 2 ... 3, hat ...

- Does it not count when you do it?
- You must not affect the ball.

No, that's fine.

What?

Something tells me I'm doing it wrong,
but I also think it's mega right.

Well hello, new chopping boards.

- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

You have read the task incorrectly. It did not say
that you should be under the influence during it …

- No, how poor it was.
- You just broke the rules.

And you have to abide by the rules.

We are going to note you for zero completed games.

- Mark, who are we going to see now?
- We'll see Tobias.

Linda used a bowling ball, which is really poor at bouncing.

Tobias chooses a completely different ball
that is also really poor at bouncing.

Fuck, man. It's fucking bad. It cannot bounce at all.

Fuck, man. Fuck.

Now it went into the brush.
This is a bad place to be.

- It's right there in the water.
- Fuck this place.

- How much time is left?
- Six minutes.

Now we hurry up.

- Three different surfaces.
- Yes.

1, 2, 3 … Yeah, yeah, yeah … It’s running smoothly.

There are not that many comments. You cannot win every time.

It is one to one the same as my attempt,
just with a more difficult ball. 1, 2, 3, hat.

It’s approximately the same solution that Linda tried.

To let it roll down the surface. It does not bounce.

It's hard to force real feelings. I couldn't care less.

- Fucking doesn't matter.
- If it's like that …

Let me give it another try: No, it did not bounce? Fuck!

I’m with you all the way. Then I do not
bother to act disappointed with you.

I have a life outside of this room
filled with problems. Real problems.

I do care, Lasse. I think it was a beautiful task.

- I note: zero completed games.
- Oh no!

Some are more devoted than others -

- but we still haven’t seen anyone complete a game of 1, 2, 3, hat.

One of the last two must be able to show how it is played.

We'll see Simon Talbot. Did you notice -

- that your task was a little different?

- We added something.
- A little extra sentence.

I have two things to say about it: Sorry, and here it comes:

You have to use the ball you first touch throughout the task.

You must make a unique pose with the
hat after each attempt. Time starts now.

Oh god ... Oh god ... Okay.

Let's hustle, boy. Yeeha!

Yes, yes, okay ...

I cannot. The hat ...

Table, board, soil, hat ... It's going to be shit.

In the name of hat!

Don't you know hat it up? I can just hold the hat, of course.

- Such.
- All I do, is win, win, hat.

No! Hadouken!

Piss, it was twice.

Piss, it was twice! Why does it bounce twice?

Yes!

Piss!

Yes! Motherfucker …

Believe. Achieve. Overcome.

So what?

No!
It ain't much, but it's honest work.

Oh, the one in the tree. It's the most creepy “crawling pixie”
I've seen [Christmas pixies made of cardboard].

Simon had to do a pose with the hat for every one of his tries.

- How many poses did it end up with?
- Well, 32.

I have to say that out of the 32, there were some really nice ones.

We have allowed ourselves to make
a little thing. Namely this fine calendar.

In that way you can see what day it is and
also have something pleasing for the eyes.

- And it’s a real thing. I can have it?
- Here you go.

32 poses in total -

- but how many approved games of 1, 2, 3, hat?

- Three.
- No?

- Yes.
- It's better than zero. Much better.

We're still missing Jonas.

A man who during this season -

- hasn’t exactly shown technical ingenuity,
but what we are about to see now, Mogensen, -

- that’s 1, 2, 3, hat.

It’s just to get started.

To hell with it.

It's the third one that's hard, you know? Oops, one point.

Two … Mark, can you move the hat?

Yes!

- Come on!
- Yes.

A good one! That’s 1, 2, 3, hat!

Shut up, it's stiff. Phew!

I have never seen a more North Jutlandic reaction to a victory.

- "Hey, don’t raise my hands like that."
- But hell …

This is the first time I’ve found you appealing. 18 times.

- It's 1, 2, 3, hat.
- It was quite easy.

- Shut up, you're good.
- How crazy. All these years …

Instead of studying law and that piss.
It is right there! You have a talent.

Er, oh? Well I …

This is the first time … It's so cool how North Jutlanders react.

"You have some talent." "Oh?"

Well what should I say? I actually feel pretty good about balls.

- So you're trying to say that you’re excellent at sports?
- I'm better than you think.

Why don't you have a sports career? It would be great fun.

"How do you think the match went?" "Better than you think."

Only Simon and Jonas went through.
Your opponents did not succeed -

- and they get zero points. But there are four
and five for Simon and Jonas. What does it mean?

Simon, you're in front with nine points.

A task where the rules appeared in
the name became too big of a mouthful.

- Don't we have a simple task?
- Yes, one that ought to be plain sailing.

Juice should be poured into a juice glass
and lemonade into a lemonade glass.

There shouldn’t be anything there.

- Hey, Mark.
- Hi, Mark le Fehår. [fairy hair]

- I dream of living in such a place.
- Where do you live?

- Nordvest [area in Copenhagen].
- Okay, it is something else.

- Shall we have coffee?
- It looks like red lemonade and urine.

- Pour ...
- … from the jugs ...

- in the corresponding glasses ...
- ... so the glasses flow over ...

- Fastest ...
- … overfilled glasses …

- ... wins.
- Time starts now.

Is it just really easy? Is it insanely easy?

- Then I just have to pour juice in.
- Should I just pour ...

Ah ...

- Ah ...
- That was annoying.

Yes. Okay, then we’re in action. Yes please.
And she has spent a minute being an idiot. Okay.

Pour some juice and some lemonade.
Is it a super simple task or what?

Yes, if one disregards the fact that we
have glued jugs and glasses to the table.

Could there be anyone who overlooked
the detail that we have switched -

- the glasses and so pour liquids into the wrong glasses?

The lemonade should go in the glass marked “lemonade”.
The juice should go in the glass marked “juice”.

- Of course it’s toilsome to overlook that.
- But nobody misses it, right?

It should just be Tobias and Sofie.

I need to fetch some straws. No, use your brain!
It’s a classic. You have already done that before.

Oh God.

- Marko … It has been won now.

Time's still running. So the glasses flow over ...

- Perfect.
- It is overflowed.

- Lovely.
- Yes, the glasses have overflowed.

Now I do something drastic. I freestyle.
Hold your hand over your eyes.

- Time's still running.
- It really was a long shot.

These are the wrong ones! One is marked lemonade …

No no! Why do I do that? Why do I do that?

The corresponding glasses.

But it says the corresponding …

And what is juice, and what is lemonade, actually?

It’s just some concepts that basically cover the same thing.

Lemonade and juices are social constructions.

It’s two words for the same thing.

And like that.

- Yes Yes …
- Hell! Now we’re taking off.

- I would actually like to praise Sofie.
- Let’s see if it can be done genuinely.

I have never seen anyone being so
disgusting in an effort to win. It’s brilliant.

It’s a full-on effort. I drank blended meatballs, but great
that we have found something that is more disgusting.

First juice in the mouth and then lemonade? Damn, disgusting!

On the other hand, I do not master
investing in this on an emotional level.

I couldn't care less!

It's a shortcoming of mine. If there's something
I can't figure out, I try to wreck what already is.

This is a great opportunity to observe
your own person and think: Uh …

Yes, you learn something about yourself.
It happened for both of you. You confused the two glasses.

You each have your own way of getting out of it.

I love temperament, but you don’t rescue the situation.
Sofie does.

- What are the times, Mark?
- Six minutes and ten seconds.

Great.

Who are we going to see next fighting with lemonade and juice?

- We're going to Jonas and Linda …
- Why do you say "fighting"?

I'm afraid I'm using violence again. I don’t remember it.

- More violent than Tobias?
- I'm afraid of it.

No, do I?

Let's have a look if it's a violent affair.

Can’t I just … I wonder if it hits … Okay, it won't hit.

I just need to grab something to pour it in.

You're helping me, Mark. Hold this one under it.

Like that. I'm so sorry for resorting to
violence to get these tasks solved.

- Ready?
- Oh yeah.

We need to hurry up, Mark.

Come over here and help me. Take these two glasses.

- Linda?
- Like that.

Jiffy.

You're definitely quicker at pulling those
glasses off than me running into the shed.

I do not want to call this violent. It's a normal day.

It really did not look that violent.

A more drastic solution for Linda than for Jonas.
But both of them seem fast. What are their times?

They are fast. Jonas, almost a lightning bolt: 2 minutes and 39 seconds.

But if anything is faster than lightning, it's Linda P.

- 1 minute and 55 seconds.
- Yes! Like that.

Then we are missing Simon Talbot.

Either he does it in under 20 seconds
or he does something entirely idiotic.

It’s very accurate. We're probably tending towards the last theory.

There is too much violence on this show.
Good that some make subtle solutions.

So wrong solutions?

There’s nothing that says subtly like a blender at full blast.

Fastest overflowing glass wins. Time starts now.

- Is the task solved?
- Oh no.

Well, there’s text on the jugs? No, see, it says lemonade!

We need more lemonade and more juice, Mark.

Uh ... Okay, okay ...

Lemonade, haha.

No, a delicious lemonade. Juice … Where the hell is the juice?

Lemons? Ah ... Lemon juice ... Then we have to make juice.

Now we're close. We need more fruits and vegetables.

- What is it?
- Nature buffet.

And time's up.

See ya.

He could just …

… have taken some juice.

- Oh.
- You are so …

You guys are so hot-tempered. There’s something
about fit men … While Jonas is completely calm.

You solve the problem. You find lemonade in
the fridge and then choose lemons for the juice.

Instead of going with the carton of
juice that the lemons are on top of.

They are on top of the carton.

I would not be a happy hotel guest if they served that … juice.

But I approve of it. This means that you completed the task.

You just spent some extra time.
How long did it take to fill those glasses?

Linda spent one minute and 55 seconds.

You spent 15 minutes and 41 seconds.

- How are the points distributed?
- There are zero points for Tobias.

Two to Simon. Three to Sofie. Four to you, Jonas.

- Yes!
- And five points for Linda.

Would you like to present the next
task with an elegant presentation?

We're going to a rhyme task.
You could make a classic host presentation -

- with a cheeky pun, but my dignity is
at the bottom in this show. We drop it.

- Hi, Mark le Færgebillet [ferry ticket].
- Come on, Simon. You can do it.

You can do it, Simon.

Now, now, now, now ...

- Where's that paper, Mark?
- There are hourglasses, there is a lamp.

- There it was.
- Right on top of his head.

I would like to take this home.

"Build a statue of the Stormester ..."

"... solely of things that rhyme."

- "You have five minutes ..."
- It was a very short time.

"... to order the items."

- "You then have 20 minutes ..."
- "... to build your statue."

Well, I should have just read on.

- "Most lifelike statue ..."
- "... built of the most different things ..."

"... wins."

- "Time starts now."
- Uh, five minutes now.

I'm damn good at rhyming. I have been rhyming for many years.

Bananer, lianer, fasaner.
[Bananas, lianes, pheasants]

What the hell, what the hell?

- Togbaner, syrener [Train tracks, lilacs]
- Ris ... flis. [Rice, wood chips]

Sand, spand, vand, lige en enkelt tand.
[Sand, bucket, water, just a single tooth].

Marcipan, parmesan, cellofan.
[Marzipan, parmesan, cellophane]

Medianer, altaner, madplaner.
[Medians, balconies, meal plans]

- And a lot of ice and a whisk.
- Pelikaner, dårlige vaner. [Pelicans, bad habits]

Et stykke land, en mand.
[A piece of land, a man].

Ler… Per, ler, ingefær.
[Per, clay, ginger].

Per and clay are obvious. But with ginger
you might squeeze it a little too much.

So, who's the rapper here, guys? Stay in your fucking lane.

If I say ginger rhymes, then ginger rhymes.

- Any demands for what kind of man it should be?
- I think I have a role for you.

It should just be Per and clay, then. It's a winning combo.

- It should probably go well.
- I hope so.

A nice Per, right? A good-looking Per.

I suddenly remember how good I was.

I think ... You're absolutely right, Tobias

If you can rhyme “shoes from Gucci” with “upti-vupti”
[lines from an early 2000s Danish pop hit].

Listen. Everything goes.

Yes, he's a pro.

I want to see how they express themselves
artistically, with these small obstructions.

The materials had to rhyme, and I would also like it
to resemble me and include many materials.

- Who should we see first?
- A trio.

You will experience Jonas, Linda and Tobias.

Linda ordered marzipan, cellophane, Ketogan -

- and parmesan.

Isn't it almost a child's birthday party in your neighborhood?

Busted. Yes.

Jonas, you ordered a tooth, a man,
sand, land, water and a bucket.

Tobias ordered clay and Per.

And that's the rapper.

Perfect.

Hi, Mark le Fever.

Fever!

What’s up?

Hello.

- I'm going to build Lasse, right?
- Correct.

Then you have to start somehow by ...

- What's your name?
- Per.

You're Per. That's clay.

- The head, 1:1.
- Okay, yes.

Then we have to shape our nose from this here.

I'm thinking of starting with the glasses.
It's mega awesome that you want to participate.

Yes, yes, yes. It's starting to look like something.

The mouth may be a little fucked up.
But he doesn't smile that much, he’s more like …

Bucket.

- But why?
- Your face does not look like Lasse's.

Right now it looks like a statue of Lasse
wearing a bucket over his head.

Bucket, man, sand on land.

And water.

Like that, right?

It's a statue that looks like Lasse.

There is a huge risk in ordering only two different items.

Clay and Per.
Then as I watch this I start to think:

How curious that they found a Per at
about my age and who looks like me.

Then I realize that Per and I went
to parallel classes in primary school.

- He told me so.
- It also rhymes. "Class with Lass’”.

It's actually very lifelike, Tobias. Jonas, what? What?

You cannot deny that it looks like you with a bucket over your head.

There were so many elements that looked alike, Linda.

A mouth full of cheese, a bit of a dandruff problem -

- the expression you had on your face after you kissed me.

I'm just 20 years older than those who usually do it, Lasse.

I need points. I forget I need points.

I got three rhyming statues. May I see some more?

We'll see Simon work with ice, rice, wood chips and a whisk -

And Sofie in the materials bananas, lianes, pheasants, -

- lilacs, medians, pelicans, train tracks and bad habits.

Bad habits …

The artist has arrived.

Ice, wood chips, rice.

This is going to be good. Any questions on the process?

Look here. Median panties.

Safety first, kids. That’s what I would like to teach the children.

This is old-fashioned papier maché.

Let there be Lasse! Let there be Lasse!

- The hair is a little darker on the neck.
- Where are you, Lasse?

Wow how much it looks alike, man. Please just shut up.

- Yes Yes.
- These are his wrinkles on the forehead.

Like that.

It's hell to work in ice.

- Then he wears glasses.
- Things are flaking off!

I knock trying to make the nose stick out, but then it falls off!

Fuck, it's gotten good! It has become insanely good!

I want to make a nose. It must be possible.

- No!
- What is it made of?

Oh, what about train tracks, lilacs.

Then it's going up here. Then he has nice brown hair.

Wood chips.

Bananas, lianes, medians, bad habits.

- Rice.
- Pheasants, pelicans.

Final touches.

And time's up.

Hey, Mark le Fêvre.

Yours was ... Really good.

I like how you’re turning it. "That's the best side."

You work with my front against you,
and then you reveal it eventually.

It's surprisingly good, Sofie.

I like that you made my wrinkles out of bad habits.

Simon, why are you surprised -

- that my nose cannot stand up to
you hammering on it with a tool?

I thought: Just remove everything that is not Lasse -

- and then he will emerge.
- That’s the words of a sculptor.

And then I get started and realize that I'm not a sculptor.

I love all the effort that has been put into making this.

Jonas, you portray me as incontinent. I'm not that old.

You get a single point for it. That's the way it is.

I cannot reward anyone for the enthusiasm in the process, Simon.

You get two points. Tobias, you’re let off lightly -

- when you take a man my age and give him clay glasses.

But there’s a resemblance and it was
original so you get three points.

It gets close now because both of you
made lifelike statues, Linda and Sofie.

You had many items in play with you. And Linda …

Taking Ketogan to complete a task is going the extra mile.

But that’s what you do on ordinary days, so …

These are two strong bids for the five points.
I'll give them to Sofie.

Thanks.

Thank you very much.

- Mark, who's in the lead?
- It's close.

Right now, only one point separates
Simon from Jonas, Linda and Sofie.

- Uh!
- Wow!

We'll find tonight's winner after the final task. Now, here.

In such a close run it’s deciding
who best solves the very last task.

Who should read the task?

For the first time, she has the opportunity to win.

That's why I think you should be allowed, Sofie.

Then here it comes. Oh, it’s a hard one, Linda.

"Draw the monster that the Stormester describes."

"Most beautiful and most accurate drawing of the monster wins."

Good task.

You can begin as soon as Lasse begins to describe it.

When the description is complete, you have
ten seconds to complete your monster drawing.

- The description starts now.
- "The sour monster has three arms."

"Two of the arms are lumpy."

"The monster has two eyes ...

... and two more eyes ...

... and a leg ...

... and two more eyes. "

"She has a huge tusk."

Shit.

"That tusk looks like a tree."

"The monster pees ...

... and waves and holds a cake and is striped and very relaxed -

- and has three more legs. "

"And she's making jumping jacks -

- and has a dog -

- it is small and tousled and red and black and lacks a leg."

Well, the monster only has two eyes. I'm done.

You have ten seconds to complete your illustration.

Two, one ... and time's up!

What is that?

Let's look at the drawings from Linda's side.

I can see that the monster is holding a cake
and that it used to have several eyes.

I miss a better overview of arms and legs and it is not striped.

The same can be said about Simon's.

Four legs, it pees, it makes a jumping jack.

There is one eye unless there is a tusk in the eye.

Sofie has a dog with her.
I have no idea where the body or eyes are.

Jonas, the monster has about the
right number of arms and two eyes -

- and holds a cake and makes a jumping jack.

You have a dog that is red and black.
At Tobias’ there is a lot going on.

But there are also things that have not been fixed.

The monster that looks like what I imagined -

- that's Jonas' illustration.

Five points for Jonas. Who won tonight's program?

Jonas, congratulations. You're tonight's winner.

Get up there over and pick up your prize, Jonas.

The winner tonight is Jonas Mogensen.

I only have one thing left to say, something a little lad told me -

- shortly before the anaesthesia kicked in, when I once
wanted to operate on him as an amateur surgeon.

He had polyps and he said, "Thanks for tonight."

Danish text: Mathiasen, Sønstabø and Khan
Danish Video Text