Steven Universe (2013–…): Season 3, Episode 9 - Too Short to Ride - full transcript
Peridot accompanies Steven and Amethyst for a day of fun at Funland.
♪ We ♪
♪ are the crystal ♪
♪ gems ♪
♪ we'll always save the day ♪
♪ and if you think
we can't, we'll ♪
♪ always find a way ♪
♪ that's why the people ♪
♪ of this world ♪
♪ believe in ♪
♪ garnet ♪
♪ amethyst ♪
♪ and Pearl ♪
And Steven!
Special delivery.
Oh. Wow.
Thanks.
It's a...
A rectangle.
And a tablet.
My dad bought it, but he decided
he didn't need it.
He said something about
oversaturation of media
being a plague to one's mind.
So I thought you might like it.
Here.
You use your fingers to work it.
Like my old finger screens.
But now you have the whole
world wide web to hang out on.
World wide? Ha.
I had the ability to search
and retrieve data
from across multiple
star systems.
Hmm, impressive.
But I can do you one better...
tubetube.
Why was this documented?
You can log your thoughts
on the Internet, too.
You just have to keep it
under 140 characters.
That's so many people.
I'll make you an account
so you can start logging
as soon as you want.
I really, really like this,
but it's a shame it doesn't
come attached to your body.
Oh, wait.
I'm gonna leave the profile
stuff blank for you
to fill in later.
There.
Gimme.
Behold my innovation.
Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha.
Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha.
Haaaaa.
Shing. Shing.
Haaaaaaa.
Shing, shing!
I've harnessed the power of
your interlocking fabric strips.
Good thing I grew out
of those shoes.
To have tech again.
It feels so good when everything
is at your fingertips.
Yo. You guys look like
you're having fun.
Oh, amethyst.
What do you think?
You look like a square.
It's a rectangle.
Heh, truth.
Anyway,
you two ready to go or what?
Go?
Yeah.
Amethyst and I were gonna go
hang out,
and we wanted you to come, too.
Hang out?
Oh, yeah.
That's a friend thing to do.
So, where are we hanging out,
friends?
Ta-da!
Welcome to funland!
You've brought me to a sign!
Nah, nah.
You got to go inside.
A speed pattern
transportation circuit.
And a roller coaster.
You got to do the most fun thing
in funland first.
Hmm. Bold.
Let's follow this logic!
Three, please.
Sure.
We got some new rules, first.
Uh...
Ugh.
Hmm.
Ha-ha!
Sorry, guys.
Looks like this squad
has some growing to do
before you can ride.
I do not have to grow.
This height is indicative
of my rarity and importance.
I demand entry, you clod!
You kids want another
lifetime ban?
No, thanks, Mr. smiley.
Shorty squad out.
Well, that stinks.
We'll just have to
maintain a healthy lifestyle
in hopes we grow before the end
of the season.
Ugh. Of course.
Let's just grow.
Shape-shifting!
Hmm.
Uh, peridot?
Uh, I...
i must be a little rusty...
Why don't you two just go?
Aw, what?
What.
You sure?
Sure I'm sure.
I can just look up what
a roller coaster feels like.
Just hurry up and go so you can
hurry up and come back.
Oh, okay.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
So good.
What next?
What next?
Yes. What next that doesn't have
a height restriction?
Uh, there!
Ooh.
Ha, this place is fun.
Yeah. It totally does live up
to its name.
Let's see who can eat
the most chili dogs
before we go on
the tilt-a-whirl.
♪
Steven, amethyst!
Look at this being.
Its large head,
swollen with thoughts!
Those compassionate eyes.
It understands.
I need it. Now!
Peridot, that's a prize.
You have to win it first.
Hey, there, Steven.
Mr. smiley, you're working
the ring toss, too?
Yeah. You could say we're
a little "fun-derstaffed."
I get it.
I'm glad you seeing the humor
in it, Steven,
because I haven't seen a bed
in six days!
Oh.
Hyah!
I win!
Um, well...
You have to land the rings
first, broski.
Shorty squad throw!
Okay, last chance.
We got this.
This biz is rigged!
I didn't save earth for this.
Sorry, peridot.
Hmm. No.
We're gonna get you that prize.
Hey, Mr. smiley.
Is that onion trying to light
the roller coaster on fire?
I'm not falling
for that one again.
Oh!
No! I'm still paying off
the last lawsuit!
Heh.
Good old onion.
All this runnin' around.
I'm not even in a union.
Yo, Mr. s.
While you were gone,
peri got a ring.
I did?
We're lying.
Oh, uh, yes,
I did land the ring.
I also do not steal Steven's
clothes when he's not looking.
What?
Huh.
Would you look at that?
And I thought this thing
was rigged.
Here you go, kid.
It's a little sister.
Um, excuse me, but you're wrong.
I'm supposed to win that one.
You mean the big guy?
Sorry.
That one's 10 rings.
Find cute roommates
in your area.
I'm all set, thanks.
That toy you won is really cool,
peridot.
You mean that amethyst won
with shape-shifting.
Maybe they should call it
shape-shift land,
because it's a land
where you go to shape-shift.
What's wrong with
shape-shifting, bro?
You mean besides being an insult
to your intended form?
Okay, what's really wrong
with it?
I can't do it...
At all.
Well, we can help you try.
What?
I didn't ever think I could use
my powers, either,
but then the gems helped me out.
We can help you, too.
Yeah, man.
Mmm!
We'll give you the
shape-shifting lowdown.
Shorty squad style.
♪
Ah? Mm.
Ta-da!
Hup!
Hup!
Whoa.
Uh, okay.
Maybe we just have
to activate it manually.
You grab her feet.
I'll grab the arms.
Okay.
Ready? Pull.
Ow.
Is it working?
Ow.
I think so.
Ow.
Pull harder!
Ow.
I think I just heard a crack.
Ow.
That's her powers opening, Steven.
Ow, ow, ow.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Drop me now.
This isn't going to work.
Maybe if we keep trying...
No.
My lack of skill
is an objective fact.
I'm an era-2 peridot.
I'm new.
Resources are dwindling
on homeworld.
They can't make gems
like they used to.
That's why they give
era-2 peridots
technological enhancements.
Because we...
Don't have powers.
Per, I'mma be really real
with you for a sec.
This whole time we've been here,
you've just been focusing
on what you can't do.
Of course you're not having
any fun.
You think that all you are
is who you could be,
but we don't hang out with you
because of who you could be.
We like you.
I know you just heard me.
Stop playing with that thing.
Ugh. Gimme that! No!
You don't need it!
You don't know that!
Yes... I... Do!
Wait.
W-w-w-w-w-w-wait.
No!
It's all that I am!
Peridot.
Metal powers!
Dude.
Do you know what this means?
You can open really tight jars.
You can remove staples
without a staple remover.
You can open doors without
having to touch them
after you wash your hands.
No.
I know exactly what I can do.
10!
That's 10!
Wah!
That's 10, all right.
Well, I guess you won
fair and square,
or fair and triangle.
Because your head
looks like a triangle.
Here you go, kid.
You did it, peridot.
Give it up
for pea-pod!
No, give it up
for the shorty squad.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
♪ are the crystal ♪
♪ gems ♪
♪ we'll always save the day ♪
♪ and if you think
we can't, we'll ♪
♪ always find a way ♪
♪ that's why the people ♪
♪ of this world ♪
♪ believe in ♪
♪ garnet ♪
♪ amethyst ♪
♪ and Pearl ♪
And Steven!
Special delivery.
Oh. Wow.
Thanks.
It's a...
A rectangle.
And a tablet.
My dad bought it, but he decided
he didn't need it.
He said something about
oversaturation of media
being a plague to one's mind.
So I thought you might like it.
Here.
You use your fingers to work it.
Like my old finger screens.
But now you have the whole
world wide web to hang out on.
World wide? Ha.
I had the ability to search
and retrieve data
from across multiple
star systems.
Hmm, impressive.
But I can do you one better...
tubetube.
Why was this documented?
You can log your thoughts
on the Internet, too.
You just have to keep it
under 140 characters.
That's so many people.
I'll make you an account
so you can start logging
as soon as you want.
I really, really like this,
but it's a shame it doesn't
come attached to your body.
Oh, wait.
I'm gonna leave the profile
stuff blank for you
to fill in later.
There.
Gimme.
Behold my innovation.
Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha.
Cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha.
Haaaaa.
Shing. Shing.
Haaaaaaa.
Shing, shing!
I've harnessed the power of
your interlocking fabric strips.
Good thing I grew out
of those shoes.
To have tech again.
It feels so good when everything
is at your fingertips.
Yo. You guys look like
you're having fun.
Oh, amethyst.
What do you think?
You look like a square.
It's a rectangle.
Heh, truth.
Anyway,
you two ready to go or what?
Go?
Yeah.
Amethyst and I were gonna go
hang out,
and we wanted you to come, too.
Hang out?
Oh, yeah.
That's a friend thing to do.
So, where are we hanging out,
friends?
Ta-da!
Welcome to funland!
You've brought me to a sign!
Nah, nah.
You got to go inside.
A speed pattern
transportation circuit.
And a roller coaster.
You got to do the most fun thing
in funland first.
Hmm. Bold.
Let's follow this logic!
Three, please.
Sure.
We got some new rules, first.
Uh...
Ugh.
Hmm.
Ha-ha!
Sorry, guys.
Looks like this squad
has some growing to do
before you can ride.
I do not have to grow.
This height is indicative
of my rarity and importance.
I demand entry, you clod!
You kids want another
lifetime ban?
No, thanks, Mr. smiley.
Shorty squad out.
Well, that stinks.
We'll just have to
maintain a healthy lifestyle
in hopes we grow before the end
of the season.
Ugh. Of course.
Let's just grow.
Shape-shifting!
Hmm.
Uh, peridot?
Uh, I...
i must be a little rusty...
Why don't you two just go?
Aw, what?
What.
You sure?
Sure I'm sure.
I can just look up what
a roller coaster feels like.
Just hurry up and go so you can
hurry up and come back.
Oh, okay.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
So good.
What next?
What next?
Yes. What next that doesn't have
a height restriction?
Uh, there!
Ooh.
Ha, this place is fun.
Yeah. It totally does live up
to its name.
Let's see who can eat
the most chili dogs
before we go on
the tilt-a-whirl.
♪
Steven, amethyst!
Look at this being.
Its large head,
swollen with thoughts!
Those compassionate eyes.
It understands.
I need it. Now!
Peridot, that's a prize.
You have to win it first.
Hey, there, Steven.
Mr. smiley, you're working
the ring toss, too?
Yeah. You could say we're
a little "fun-derstaffed."
I get it.
I'm glad you seeing the humor
in it, Steven,
because I haven't seen a bed
in six days!
Oh.
Hyah!
I win!
Um, well...
You have to land the rings
first, broski.
Shorty squad throw!
Okay, last chance.
We got this.
This biz is rigged!
I didn't save earth for this.
Sorry, peridot.
Hmm. No.
We're gonna get you that prize.
Hey, Mr. smiley.
Is that onion trying to light
the roller coaster on fire?
I'm not falling
for that one again.
Oh!
No! I'm still paying off
the last lawsuit!
Heh.
Good old onion.
All this runnin' around.
I'm not even in a union.
Yo, Mr. s.
While you were gone,
peri got a ring.
I did?
We're lying.
Oh, uh, yes,
I did land the ring.
I also do not steal Steven's
clothes when he's not looking.
What?
Huh.
Would you look at that?
And I thought this thing
was rigged.
Here you go, kid.
It's a little sister.
Um, excuse me, but you're wrong.
I'm supposed to win that one.
You mean the big guy?
Sorry.
That one's 10 rings.
Find cute roommates
in your area.
I'm all set, thanks.
That toy you won is really cool,
peridot.
You mean that amethyst won
with shape-shifting.
Maybe they should call it
shape-shift land,
because it's a land
where you go to shape-shift.
What's wrong with
shape-shifting, bro?
You mean besides being an insult
to your intended form?
Okay, what's really wrong
with it?
I can't do it...
At all.
Well, we can help you try.
What?
I didn't ever think I could use
my powers, either,
but then the gems helped me out.
We can help you, too.
Yeah, man.
Mmm!
We'll give you the
shape-shifting lowdown.
Shorty squad style.
♪
Ah? Mm.
Ta-da!
Hup!
Hup!
Whoa.
Uh, okay.
Maybe we just have
to activate it manually.
You grab her feet.
I'll grab the arms.
Okay.
Ready? Pull.
Ow.
Is it working?
Ow.
I think so.
Ow.
Pull harder!
Ow.
I think I just heard a crack.
Ow.
That's her powers opening, Steven.
Ow, ow, ow.
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
Drop me now.
This isn't going to work.
Maybe if we keep trying...
No.
My lack of skill
is an objective fact.
I'm an era-2 peridot.
I'm new.
Resources are dwindling
on homeworld.
They can't make gems
like they used to.
That's why they give
era-2 peridots
technological enhancements.
Because we...
Don't have powers.
Per, I'mma be really real
with you for a sec.
This whole time we've been here,
you've just been focusing
on what you can't do.
Of course you're not having
any fun.
You think that all you are
is who you could be,
but we don't hang out with you
because of who you could be.
We like you.
I know you just heard me.
Stop playing with that thing.
Ugh. Gimme that! No!
You don't need it!
You don't know that!
Yes... I... Do!
Wait.
W-w-w-w-w-w-wait.
No!
It's all that I am!
Peridot.
Metal powers!
Dude.
Do you know what this means?
You can open really tight jars.
You can remove staples
without a staple remover.
You can open doors without
having to touch them
after you wash your hands.
No.
I know exactly what I can do.
10!
That's 10!
Wah!
That's 10, all right.
Well, I guess you won
fair and square,
or fair and triangle.
Because your head
looks like a triangle.
Here you go, kid.
You did it, peridot.
Give it up
for pea-pod!
No, give it up
for the shorty squad.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.