Step by Step (1991–1998): Season 5, Episode 9 - The Wall - full transcript

All right, guys, as soon as
the posters are done

let's head back
to the school and hand out

the rest of those flyers?

-Cool.
-Okay.

Give it a rest, Barky.

Nobody wants to come to your
stupid feminist study group.

I mean, how many angry
chicks with hairy armpits

in hiking boots can there be?

What if J.T.'s right,

and no one comes
to our meeting?

Ladies, trust me.



Sensitive, serious-minded

intelligent people are
gonna come to this meeting.

Hey, hey, hey!

All right.

Sisters of the world,
unite?

You are women, hear you roar.

We're in the middle
of a meeting.

Yeah, I know.
I saw your flyer.

That's why I'm here.
I'm totally stoked.

I always wanted to learn
more about

that women's movement
you know?

So, like do I sign up

or is there
bra burning involved?

Cody, it's a feminist group.



There's no men allowed.

No way!

Dude, you're not gonna let me
join 'cause I'm a guy?

Hey, don't you find that

just a wee bit sexist?

He does have
a point, Dana.

Yeah, I think it's great
that there's a man

that's interested
in feminist issues.

Besides, he's really cute.

Yeah.

Okay. All right, fine.

I'm willing to be
democratic about this.

The executive committee
will vote on it.

All those in favor of Cody
joining the group, say, "Aye."

- Aye.
- Aye?

Yeah, Dudesie.

It's unanimous. All right!

Okay, you just hang right here

and daddy's gonna get you
some dessert.

-Hi, Frank.
-Hi, honey.

Hi, Lilly. Hello.

-Frank?
-Yeah.

Your body is in
for such a treat tonight.

Hot dog.

Eda Jackson gave us
a free pass

to the Mountain Oaks
Health Spa tonight.

Honey, I don't
wanna go to a health spa.

Why not?
It's a whole romantic evening.

You know,
mineral bath, Jacuzzis.

They even have a special
couples massage.

Yeah, well,
I don't like massages either.

You like it
when I give you a massage.

Yeah, well, that's different.

'Cause with you
the massage is only part one.

Well, if you go to the spa
for part one, when we get home

I'll give you part two.

Yeah. Well,
I'm not falling for that.

I know what
you're trying to do, see.

You think you can
snuggle up to me
and then all of a sudden...

Gee.

Yeah, yeah.

Do you think
there's any chance
I could get part three?

Four,

-Five...
-Karen, hurry up.

One hundred.

Look,
it's the Goodyear Wimp.

For your information,
I'm getting pumped up

for the harvest dance.

Check out my massive biceps.

Mark, you do not have biceps.

You have linguine
with fingers at the ends.

So, who you taking
at the dance?

Nobody. I'm flying solo.

Mothers, lock up
your daughters.

Mark Foster is on the prowl.

Man, I'm gonna hurl.

Wait a minute, Mark. Um...

Look, you can't go to
a high school dance
by yourself.

I mean, you're gonna end up
standing on the loser wall.

Loser wall? What's that?

Well, it's the place
where all the losers

who couldn't get dates
go and stand around,

geek-bopping to the music.

Well,
that's not gonna happen to me.

'Cause I'm gonna be cut,
buff, and ready for action.

Step aside.

Yeah, Mark, you're going
to be a big hit
tonight, buddy.

I don't understand

why we don't have
a better turnout.

Where is everybody?

I bet they're all at that
toga party at the Gamma House.

Don't lose faith, sisters.

I'm sure there are
plenty of women out there

who'd rather be enlightened

than chug brewskies
with a bunch of frat boys.

What did I say?

A fellow freedom fighter now.

Sister. Hello, hello, hello.

Welcome,
welcome to our meeting

where we will help you
raise your consciousness

and throw off the shackles
of the male uber-lords.

Thanks. Is J.T. here?

He's taking me
to the toga party.

Toga! Toga! Toga! Hey!

-Mandy, baby!
-Hi, J.T.

-How's it going?
-Good.

Am I interrupting anything?

Nope, nope, just a meeting

of the future gym teachers
of America.

Have a nice night, ladies.

If you run out of
something to do, grow a bod.

You know what?
We don't need other people.

Let's start this meeting
ourselves.

Hey!

Hey.

Greetings,
fellow libbers.

Sorry, I'm late, but...

in my continuing quest
to become gender neutral

I spent the day down at the
National Organization
for Women.

Got my membership card,

monthly newsletter,
and a handy pamphlet

on how to give yourself
a breast exam.

Wherever that would apply,
you know?

Cody, I...

I baked you some brownies
to welcome you to the group.

-Wow.
-I knit you a sweater.

Sister! All right!

You knit him a sweater?

He looked cold.

See...

the brown flecks match
the color of your eyes.

Let's just sit down and begin
the meeting, shall we?

Yeah, cool.

Okay.

This evening's topic

is "anti-female dogma
in popular American culture."

Right on. Hey,

maybe now we'll find out
why all those dogs

they used in Lassie
were guys?

-You're right, Cody.
-I've wondered that, too.

Quiet!

Our culture is a drift

in a sea
of anti-female propaganda.

Even our children
are constantly bombarded,

with sexist messages.

Consider The Little Mermaid.

Here we have Ariel.

Another helpless
doe-eyed female

waiting to be saved,

by her brainless
Ken doll boyfriend.

Geez, lighten up, Dana Burger.

I mean, you're talking
about a movie

where one of
the main characters
was a talking crab.

That's funny.

That's so funny!

What did you think of
the movie, Cody?

Yeah, did you think
it was sexist?

Well, I don't know.
Maybe I'm missing something.

But I thought the movie was
awesome.

You know, it was like,

a beautiful sweet little story

about the power of love,
you know.

If you really
love somebody

there's nothing in the world
that can keep you apart

and keep you
from living a happy life.

You know, I mean even if
she is surfing your turf.

You know?

And this is
our derma therapy room.

Now, just step into the tubs,

sit back and relax

and get ready
to experience bliss.

- Yeah, bliss this.
- Come on, Frank.

Give it a chance.
It's gonna be fun.

How much fun can it be?

We're in separate tubs.

Frankie, just
go with the flow.

What was that?

It's probably just
some water in the pipes.

Come on, just relax.

Frank.

It's a therapeutic
mud pack.

My God, it is so nice.

I hate it.

I'm gonna turn it off.

Gee!

Okay, everybody.

Come on.

Check out Lisa Wilson.

Either she's had
a major growth spurt

or she's wearing a Wonderbra.

Man, I'm telling you, once
she gets rid of that headgear

with her braces,
she's gonna be a stone fox.

Hey, Lisa, Mark Foster's
warm for your form.

Stop it!

Babe alert!

Scha-wing!

I'd like to build a house

on that sweet piece
of real estate.

Hey, will you guys
just cool it?

That is Tawny Spencer.

She's with Chuck Plytor, the
captain of the football team.

Man, he'd turn us
into a hamburger

just for looking at her.!

Chuck, what are you doing?

I'm... talking to somebody.

But I'm done with her now.
Beat it.

I go to the ladies' room
for five minutes

and you're already flirting
with someone else?

What's the big deal?
It's a free country.

And, I was just
talking to her.

You were flirting.

How would you like it
if I was flirting?

Who you're gonna flirt with?

Anybody.

Maybe I'll even flirt with one
of the guys on the loser wall.

Hi.

I'm Tawny.

Who wants to dance?

I'll dance with you.

If you can
keep up with me.

Okay.

Are you nuts?
Chuck will kill you.

Yeah. But what a way to go!

Come on, mama.

Let's shake our groove things.

Okay.

Here's our couples
massage room.

Why don't you both
get comfortable?

And the massages will begin
in a minute.

Okay. Here?

Listen,

you're not gonna be
rubbing on me, are ya?

No. Inger will be
massaging you.

- Really?
- I think you'll like her.

That's her now.

Let's rock and roll.

Ja,I'm Inger.
I give you the massage.

Honey,
there's a woman here.

I think she's gonna hurt me.

Frank, just relax.

I mean, it only hurts
if you get tense.

What a rush.

I believe
in a deep tissue massage.

That means I gotta separate
the muscles from the bones

and re-arrange them
in a more pleasing fashion.

Well, well, what if I like
my muscles
right where they are?

No talking. Get on the table.

Yeah, listen, I think
I'll just step outside.

No, no. Lie down.

Whoopsy daisy!

Look,
this is my, first time

so you be
a little gentle, okay?

What are you
worried about?

I'm gonna be
very gentle with you.

Okay. You might feel
a little discomfort.

Shut up!

Frank, don't fight it.
Just surrender.

Okay. We gotta work
on your posture.

Now, breathe normally.

You're not breathing.

Help me.

Frank, quit acting
like such a baby.

But I'm in pain.

Now, turn over.
I wanna adjust your front.

I like my front
right where it is.

You're
a little girly man?

-Come on, whoopsy-daisy!
-No, no!

Come on, up you go. Come on.

Come on! Move it!

Hey, Chucky.

Looks like Tawny's found
herself a new stud.

Yeah, she's been dancing
with that dork
for over an hour.

Must be true love.

Look, would you shut up?
You jerks!

She's just trying
to make me jealous.

She'll drop that little twerp
any minute.

Care to dance cheek to cheek?

I'd love to.

Ho! That's it,
the kid dies.

Okay, nerd boy, you're toast.

Listen, Chuck...

It is Chuck, isn't it?

Look, creep,
keep your hands off Tawny

or I'll put your head
through the basketball hoop.

And you, come with me.

I'm not going
anywhere with you, Chuck.

Come on, Tawny,
let's dance.

No.

You heard the lady.
Leave her alone.

Look, punk,

don't make me hurt you.

Back off, bozo.

Or I'm gonna chop you so low

you're gonna be walking
on your kneecaps.

Mark, what are you doing?

Yeah. This guy could pop you
like a pimple.

Look, she's right, Mark.

Just forget about it.
I can handle Chuck.

No way.

I'm defending your honor
against this goon.

All right, pal.
I'm calling your bluff.

I'm taking you down.

Okay. Maybe I'm not
taking you down.

Maybe you can tear me
into shreds

and turn me into
a loose meat sandwich.

But remember this...

But remember this...

You're never gonna get
a great girl like Tawny.

You know why?
Because you're a jerk!

In fact, I'm not the guy that
belongs on the loser wall.

You are.

Yeah, you know what?
Mark's right. You are a jerk!

If you're gonna beat him up
you've got to beat

all of us up too.

Starting with my date.

Get out there, Jess.

Yeah, we're taking a stand.

Go on, Bobby.

All right, who else is gonna
back Mark up?

It's your move, Chucky!

Man. This bites.
I'm outta here.

What are you looking at?

That was so cool, Mark.

-You got Chuck to back down.
-Damn.

Yeah, you were really great.

You know, for a loser,
you're an okay guy.

Yeah.

Mark.

You were wonderful.

Baby, you ain't seen
nothing yet.

Let's boogie!

All right.
Sisterhood in action. Hey!

Cody, what is this?

Well, you know, I felt bad

for kind of
ruining your meeting
the other night, so,

I went down to
the student union

and rounded you up
a whole bunch of feminists.

How did you get
them all to come?

That's not important
right now.

You know, the important thing
is that,

they're here to listen to you
about feminism?

So, take it away.

Cody, this is amazing.
Thank you.

Hey, right on!

Cody, is our date Friday
or Saturday?

Why don't
we talk about that
after the meeting?

But I need to know now.
I don't wanna sit

through this
boring feminist stuff

-unless you're going
to go on a date--
-Here, have a nice cracker.

Here you go!

-Me neither, all right--
-Would you like a cracker?

Are we gonna go out or what?

You got all these women here
by promising them dates?

Well, you know,
it doesn't really matter

what kinda cheese you use as
long as you catch that mouse.

Cody, I have to have
Saturday night.

I've got tickets for
Hootie & the Blowfish.

No, no, no, no, no.

I hate to break this to you,
but Cody and I are seeing

The Bridges of Madison County
on Saturday night.

- Excuse me...
- Wait a second.

You're not a woman, are you?