Step by Step (1991–1998): Season 3, Episode 8 - Down and Out in Port Washington - full transcript

Are you really going to sleep
out here tonight, Cody?

Yeah, little cuz. You know,
my van's in the shop.

So, I'm going to be sleeping
out here al fresco.

Thank you, Thomas Edison.

Dude, check out this bed.

Yeah, buddy.

Yeah, I couldn't jump
this high in the van...

Well, I could but it would
really hurt.

Cody.

Brendan, what are you
guys doing?

Yeah, where's your van, Cody?



Lucille's in the shop.

Yeah, so he's gonna sleep out
here with Al Fresco.

Cody, you don't have to sleep
outside.

You can come and sleep in
on the sofa.

Wow, thanks, Uncle Frank.

You know, they were predicting
hail for tonight,

and a welding helmet only
covers up so much.

Yeah, you just pack up
your stuff

and you can set up right in
the living room.

Right, honey?

Yeah.

Come on, dudsie.

Frank, you know, I like Cody,

but you know how it is when
somebody sleeps on your couch,



your whole living room
is a mess.

Well, honey, you don't want
him to sleep outside, do you?

No, no, of course not.

I was thinking he could sleep
in the garage.

Carol.

Well, he normally sleeps
in his van.

The garage is like a step up.

Now, look, honey, I know
you're a little worried

about having another person
in the house,

but Cody is a very
considerate guy.

I'm sure you won't even notice
that he's here.

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Hey, Cody. I really appreciate
you cleaning up after yourself.

I'm afraid I had to, Carol.

See, I, accidentally left
the lid off my ant farm

and some of the guys made a
break for it.

But they're not too smart.
I mean,hey, why bother

escaping if you're going to
go in single file?

Dude, ants going AWOL.

Let's go, little ant dudes.

Gotta get ya' back to the colony
before the queen gets lonely.

Hey, Carol. Busy?

No. The ant round
up is over.

Anyway, do you think you can
cut my bangs

like this picture I have here?

Yeah, who is it? That girl from
"Beverly Hills 90210?"

No, Pete Rose.

Pete Rose?

Well, yeah, that way I can see
the fly balls better.

Al, you know, one of
these days

you're gonna get over this
tomboy phase,

and be like other girls.

So, he's like, "Okay."
And I'm like, "No way."

And I'm like, gonna hurl.

Mother, you remember my
friends,

Katie, Kellie and Kiki?

Hi, Mrs. Foster.

Hi, girls.

Guess where we've been?

I don't know... the mall?

Wow, she is psychic.

Wait 'til you see what
I bought.

You're gonna scream.

Karen, I know you spent your
own money, but why on earth

would you want four
blue sweaters?

Mother, they're not all blue.

This one's teal, this one's
aqua, this one's blue green

and this one's green blue.

Right, how could I have
been so blind?

Hey, why don't you guys take
this up to my room

and go try on your outfits.

I'll get us some snacks.

Wait,
wait, wait.

Is anybody on a diet?

Me.

Okay, veggies all around.

I'll say.

Hi, Dana.

Hello.

Hello.

Dana, aren't you going to
introduce me to your friend?

No.

I'm Kevin.
I'm Karen.

Isn't it amazing?

Both our names start
with a "K."

So does "knucklehead."

Look, Dana, I better run
if I'm going to xerox

more of these flyers
by tomorrow.

Okay, I'll give you
a call later.

Bye, Kevin.
Bye.

Wow. He is so gorgeous.
Where did you meet him?

We both do volunteer work at
the Tri County Mission.

Ooo, maybe if I volunteer for
this mission thingy,

Kevin will ask me out.

Forget it, Karen. That's not
going to happen.

I'm sorry.
Are you two...

"involved?"

No, but he's not going to
ask you out.

Dana, Dana.

You still want to believe that
guys are interested

in a girl's mind.

Well, I've never heard one
single guy say,

"Hey, check out the brains
on that girl."

And you probably never will.

Hey, Dad, I'm going to
the movies.

Who are you going with?
Cody?

No way. Every time I go to
the movies with Cody,

all the girls look at him and
treat me like I'm invisible.

So, I'm going with someone who
makes me look tall,dark

and pretty much God like.

Ready to go, chief.

I've got a feeling we're going
to meet some chicks tonight.

I'm wearing my lucky dickie.

Yeah, yeah, Mark,nothing wows
the chicks like a lucky dickie.

Come on, little man, let's go
down to the cineplex,

see what line the
cute girls are in.

Good thinking, chief.
I was just going to see

"Free Willy" and, you know,
hope for the best.

Carol? Honey? Come here.

What?

Come here, come here.
Listen.

I don't hear anything.

Exactly. We're alone.

Wow, you're right.
What are we gonna do?

Well, I say we find a romantic
movie on the television,

ignore it and make out.

I like the way you think.

Boy, nothing like two hours
of pumping iron to cleanse

out the old pores.

Man, talk about sweatin'
like a pig.

Man.

"Camelot," dude.

The days of King Arthur.
When men were men

and tables were round.

Code,

I, I don't want to seem
rude or anything,

but Carol and I would kind of
like to be alone.

Say no more.

The King and Queen
would like to

have the castle to
themselves, ay?

Alright, well, I'll just go
up to your room and,

cop a snooze on the
royal posture pedic.

Cody, feel free to take
a shower before you stretch out

on our nice, clean sheets.

Wow, thanks, Uncle Frank,
that's a great idea.

I'm just too darn tired.

I'll be lucky to get my
sneakers off.

Wow, look at this place.

There's so many people.

What should we do first, mingle?

Karen, it's a soup kitchen,
not a cocktail party.

We're here to help people.

There's somebody who can
use my help.

Excuse me. I'm Karen Foster.

I'm a volunteer here.

And I think this sweater would
be a big mistake.

Why's that?

Well, you have such
beautiful eyes.

You don't want to wear a drab
color like that.

You want something bright,
to bring out the sparkle.

Here we go.
Raspberry.

This is a hot color in Paris.

Thanks. I'll remember that on
my next vacation.

Well, it makes you
look fabulous.

Really?

Absolutely.

You find a gray pleated, wool
skirt in there and you've got

an outfit that works anywhere.

Another fashion
crisis averted.

If only Mother Theresa
had your gift.

Here, make yourself useful.

There's Kevin and he's
coming over here.

How do I look?

Karen, I told you, it
doesn't matter.

He's not going to ask you out.

- Hi, Dana. Hi, Karen.
- Hi Kevin.

Thanks for coming to help out.

Are you sure you can work here
all day?

I wouldn't have it any
other way.

I'm a giver. Give, give, give.

Give 'til it hurts.

Dana, your sister is
really something.

Don't I know it.

Karen, I want you to meet
someone.

Cheryl, could you come here
for a second, please?

Cheryl, you know Dana, this is
her sister, Karen.

This is Cheryl Hansen.

Hi.
Hi.

You see, Cheryl is Kevin's
girlfriend.

Would you mind if we took off
for a few hours?

It's Cheryl's birthday and I'm
taking her out to lunch.

No problem. Karen will take
care of everything.

She's such a giver.

Give, give, give.

Thanks, Karen.
Thanks.

Hey, guys, don't slip in
the wet spots.

This stuff's leaking all
over the place.

Cody, what are you doing in
my kitchen?

I'm line drying
my unspeakables.

Yeah, I'd do it outside,
but it's going to drop

below freezing tonight and I
don't want Jack Frost

nipping at my delicates.

Cody, why don't you and
I go for a drive?

Where?
Canada.

Wow, cool. A road trip.

Alright, man, then we can drive
all the way straight up through

the North Pole.
Sure.

And come around
up through Texas.

Dude, we might need chains.

I can't believe you did this.

You did this to yourself.

You're my sister.

You're not supposed to
be a traitor.

Why didn't you tell me he
had a girlfriend?

I tried to. I tried to the
first time you saw him,

but you wouldn't let me.

You did this to make
me look like a fool.

You don't need my help
for that.

Come on, you guys.
What is going on here?

Chick fight.

Al.

Just trying to help.

Mother, wait until you hear
what Dana did to me.

You're going to be so mad.

I worked at this mission place

so I could get this cute guy
to ask me out.

But Dana knew he had a
girlfriend and never told me.

So, thanks to her, I wasted
an entire day.

Go ahead, Mom. Let me have it.

Let me get this straight.

Karen,you are upset because
you spent an entire day

helping people and you didn't
get anything out of it?

Exactly.

I'll be upstairs waitin'
for my whuppin'.

Karen.

What?
I am so disappointed in you.

Me? What did I do?

You spent an entire day
helping people who don't have

a fraction of what you have,
and all you care about is

you didn't get some date
with some guy.

Well, I have news for you.
There is more to life

than aqua teal blue
green sweaters.

And if you can spend an entire
day at a mission

and not see that, then you
should

take a long hard look
at yourself.

Hey, Cody, you ready
to go pick up the old van?

I got some bad news,
Uncle Frank.

I just talked to the mechanic
and at 2:47 this afternoon,

Lucille died on the
grease rack.

Well, Cody, listen, I know
it's not much comfort,

but we all have to go sometime.

Yeah, you're right,
Uncle Frank...

That wasn't much comfort.

This is the worst day
of my life.

Where am I going to go?
What am I going to do?

Where am I going to live?

Well, Cody, I...
You can sleep
here on the couch

as long as you need to.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Wow, thanks, Uncle Frank.
You're a righteous dude.

You're alright.

Now, I'm gonna go for a walk
and try to process my grief.

You picked a fine time to
leave me Lucille."

Frank, I'm home.

Frank, isn't this a
beautiful day?

Cody gets his van back and
we get our house back.

And I even bought a bottle
of champagne to celebrate.

Well, honey, before you
pop that cork,

I kind of have something
I want to tell you.

You're going to think this
is so funny.

Put the bottle down first.

It's Cody, isn't it?

Honey, you haven't put the
bottle down.

Carol.

Now, Carol,
Cody just got a call

that his van is beyond repair.

So, well, I told him...
I, I...

Have I told you how pretty you
look? Your face is so pretty --

You told Cody he could stay
here, didn't you?

Carol, if you'd have seen the
look on his face,

you'd have said the
same thing.

You're mad, aren't you?

No, no. I am not mad.

I understand that Cody will
be living here indefinitely,

and I need make a
few adjustments.

Where are you going?

Upstairs to pack. I'm getting
my own apartment.

No, wait, honey,

you can't divorce me over this.

No, no, we'll still
be married,

we'll just be living in
different places.

You can spend the night anytime
you like. I'd like that.

Hey, Uncle Frank, Carol,

can I talk to you guys
for a second?

Sure, sure, Cody.

I just wanted to thank
you guys

for letting me sack out
on your couch.

Your generosity is totally
awesome.

But, I just
got to say one thing.

And I hope you
don't take this
the wrong way.

You guys are really getting
on my nerves.

We're getting on your nerves?

You noticed it, too?

I mean,
you guys are cool
and all,

but everywhere I go in
your house,

there you are. I come home from
the gym, and there you are.

I try to do a little bit of
laundry in the kitchen,

and there you are. You know,
I need my space.

I know exactly how
you feel.

So, when I was out walking,

this light came on in my head.

You know, at first I thought
somebody was

flashing me their high beams.

But then, I realized it
was an idea.

I mean, hey, just because
Lucille doesn't run anymore,

doesn't mean
I can't live in her.

I mean, hey, plenty of people
live in non moving structures

and lead a perfectly
normal life.

So, you're going to move
back into your van?

Yeah.

Cody, I'm just confused about
one thing here.

When you get an idea,
a light actually goes

on in your head?

I was speaking metaphorically,
Uncle Frank.

Go with me on this, okay?

Cody, I am so happy
for you.

In fact, I will go call the tow
truck and get Lucille

back here right away.

No, no, no, no.

You guys have done enough
already.

I'll just go to the garage and
push her back myself.

He's gone. Now it's just the
eight of us again.

I just had to come back and
tell you guys, "I love you."

Man.

Hi, Mrs. Foster.

Hi, girls.

Karen, the home shopping
club is here.

Guess where we are going?

I don't know, the mall?

How does she do it?

Hi, guys.

Karen, there is this great
sale at the mall.

They have some fantastic
sweaters.Want to come with us?

Look, I'm not really in the
mood for shopping.

Maybe you're sick?

I remember one time I didn't
feel like shopping.

Lucky for me, it was just mono.

You guys go without me.

Okay. Bye, Karen.
Bye.

Bye, Mrs. Foster.

Bye girls.

Mom, I need to ask you
a question.

Do I sound like them?

What do you mean?

You know, kind of spoiled and
self centered and shallow?

Well, to be honest,
sometimes,yeah.

Wow, that's pretty bad.

You know, I've been thinking a
lot since our talk last night.

Maybe I do spend too much time

worrying about clothes
and makeup.

Especially when there are
people out there

who have real problems.

I don't feel very good about
myself right now.

Well, listen, Karen,

it takes a strong person to
realize they need to change

and then do something
about it.

Thanks, Mom.

Would you take me to the mall?

Well, that was a short
growth spurt.

No, I don't want to buy
anything.

I want to return some stuff.

I mean, who needs four blue
sweaters anyway.

I thought I'd return one and
give the money to the mission.

I can get by with three
blue sweaters.

Three?
Two?

Karen.

Okay, one.

Boy, having a social conscience
really cuts into your wardrobe.

Yeah, but don't you feel good
about yourself?

Yeah.

And when I feel good
I look good.

Baby steps.

Yup.

What are you measuring, Cody?

Well, now that Lucille's
permanently anchored,

I figured I'd do some
home improvement.

Picture this. You know that
concrete behind my van?

You mean our driveway?

Right. Gone.

Yeah, I'm gonna extend the
back of my van

and put in some redwood
decking.

You know this big grassy
area over here?

You mean our lawn?

Right. Gone.

I'm gonna add a master suite.
Complete with a jacuzzi,

sauna, bathtub and a bidet.

Cody, I don't want to rain on
your parade here,

but, this is our yard.
You can't just rip it up.

Okay, Plan "B."

We build straight up.

'Alright, I turn the van into
a duplex.