Starsky and Hutch (1975–1979): Season 2, Episode 4 - Murder at Sea Part 2 - full transcript

He's dead.

Not for long, either.

Radio Shack.

All right.

They know what to do

if Starsky and Hutch
tries to make a call.

You just make sure

that your people
find them, okay?

You get the feeling

we've just become the hunted?

Yeah, and the rest of
the world's the hunter.

You know something, Starsk?

If Jensen's involved in this,

maybe Stafford is

and the rest of the crew too.

I know one thing for sure.

The Captain isn't.

Who does that leave?

The lady said we're
two fish out of water.

Who is it?

Starsky and Hutchinson.

What happened to Hack and Zack?

They just went undercover.

Starsky and Hutch may be
hiding out in the boiler room.

Let's check it out.

All quiet.

The hounds are
really out tonight.

Your cover's been
blown, hasn't it?

A couple of great cops you are.

The world's getting
killed around you

and you're busting
heads and playing macho,

But the minute the
stakes get too hot

you drop the investigation,
turn tail, and run.

Speaking of covers,

I think it's about time
we find out what yours is.

I told you it was
none of your business.

Well, Starsk, I guess there's
the easy way to find out

and there's the hard way.

Wait a minute!

What do you think you're doing?

You have no right.

Give me that.

What you got?

Passenger list.

With Mr. and Mrs. Clark

and all the other charming
pseudonyms circled.

Where you going?

I'm going straight
to the Captain

to have you physically
removed from here.

Well, that might
be a little hard to do.

The Captain was
murdered about an hour ago.

Look, Nellie or Helen or
whatever your name is today,

I think it's about time
we found out who you are

and what you are about.

The name is Helen Carnahan.

I'm a reporter with
the Phoenix Sun.

Go on.

October Moss and
I were roommates.

About a month ago, she called me

and said she had a friend
who had some information

about a high-level
Syndicate conference.

Eric Snow.

Only he wanted $5000
for the information.

My paper provided it.

I came to town, set
up housekeeping,

and just waited
for Eric to deliver.

So that's what he
was trying to do

the night he was murdered?


The next night they
came after me, only...

They mistook October for you.

Look, this is the way it is.

In the last 48 hours

there have been three murders.

Now, we need a place to...

To hide, that we won't be found

at least until
tomorrow afternoon

when this ship
docks in Acapulco.

Otherwise, we're liable

to be number four and five.

Why don't you go
after them right away?


Perhaps you could supply us

with a list of the good
guys and the bad guys,

because if we make a move now,

the only thing we're
going to accomplish

is possibly hurt a couple
innocent passengers.

What can I say.

You want to bunk
here for the night?

Make yourselves comfortable.

You don't bother
me, I don't bother you.

Fair enough?

Fair enough.

How do I look?

Very nice.

I'm going to go up
and get some breakfast.

I'll try and get
some for you guys

without attracting
too much attention.


Did you feel that?


Felt like the engine stopped.

Hey, Hutch.


Wake up. Come on.

The engine just stopped.

Take a rain check
on that breakfast.


We've slowed
down to a near stop.

What's going on?

Starsk, that doesn't
look like Acapulco to me.


Well, whatever We
slowed down for,

two to get you one...

It's on board.


Nice to have you on
board, Mr. Fortune.

We had a little
trouble last night.

I had to remove the Captain,

but we've got the
situation under control now

and, uh, everybody's
ready for you.

Today it is important
we do things on time.

It's Crazy Joey Fortune.

What's he doing on board?

That's a good question.

How are you fixed for an answer?

Patsy Cairo.

This thing's getting more
complicated every minute.

Let's see how close
we can get, huh?


Mr. Fortune.

Do you remember me?

No! Little Marty?

So big, so strong, eh?

Hey, you make me
feel like an old man.

Please, come inside.

Ah, salud, eh?


Some things never
change, am I right?

The good things never change.

Ah, things change
all the time, Joey.

We don't always like it,

but that's the way life is, huh?

Ah, Mr. Fortune, how do
we repay the debts to you?

How do we thank you

for giving us
everything we have?

What do you see?

Wait a sec.

I think you boys are
trying to tell me something.

What the hell's she doing here?

Who? Helen.

She's got herself outside
at the other porthole.


Give it!


Hold it! Drop it!

All right, hold it right there!

Nicky, get them inside.


Over here.

Come on.

Hey, come here.

You. Come here.

What's your name?

Brown. Nellie Brown.

Nellie Brown.

Nah, Brown ain't right.

I remember a
good-looking college girl

swearing at me across
her father's grave.

What a mouth she had for a kid.

Wasn't Brown then.

It was Carnowski.

You're Teddy
Carnowski's daughter,

looking for revenge.

You know how to hate, kid.

We're not so different.

Well, that's all...

ancient history.

Something for
everyone to forget, right?


I'm not going to forget.

Next time I won't miss.

Sure, sure. Next time.

It's clear, but I think
we'd better adjourn

to a more private location.

What about them?

Bring them along.

We can't afford to leave
any loose ends around.

Right, Joey?

Sure, Patsy, whatever you say.

I... rely on your judgment.


Come on.


All right.

After all, I put together
the organization.

So coming back in
is a very natural thing.

I'm still a young man.

Ah, I understand.

We all live in a democracy,
so you want to vote.


You still have a
lot of class, Joey.

We vote.

So your daddy's
Teddy Carnowski, huh?

Head of the unions.

That's an awful long
way from the Phoenix Sun.

You knew all along
that Joey Fortune

was going to be on this ship,

didn't you?

Listen, if it means
anything to you,

we both respected
your father a great deal...

Admired him for the way
he stood up to... Fortune.

If you felt that way,
then why did you stop me

from doing what I had to do?

Well, Joey, uh, the vote's in.

Out in the open, so
it's fair and square.

You want more money, it's yours.

Vegas, Miami,

profit sharing... You got it.

But do I come back in on top?

That's the real
question, isn't it?

I'm sorry, Joey. No.

There's no hard feelings.

You know, when I come on
board, he called me Mr. Fortune.

Why should there
be any hard feelings?

This is working out
just like I planned it.

I figured you'd all
be disloyal to me...

Try to stab me in the back.

That's why I insisted that
the meeting be on the ship.


Joey, you still think it's
thirty years ago, huh?


Sorry, Patsy.

I'm with Mr. Fortune too.

Well, how do you like that?

My own brother.

Yeah, your own brother.

You treated me like dirt.

Besides, like Papa always said,

Stick with the money, Nicky.

Signal the boat.

You know, all you boys
miscalculated on old Joey.

I got everything
going for me now.

I'm in charge again, after all.

You see, I have to be in charge,

because all of
you are going to die

in one of the worst sea
disasters of all time...

And somebody's got
to mind the store, right?

You know something?

You must be
getting senile, Joey.

It'll take a submarine
to sink this tub,

and you don't have a navy!

Five bombs say
you're wrong, Patsy.

Jensen planted them last night.

And they're made so
they can't be disarmed.

Sorry it has to end up
this way for you, kid.

You're tough, like your old man.

A fighter.

I respect that.

So you want to be
number one again, huh?

Why don't you just get
rid of your pals here?

Why do you want
to blow up a ship?

Why do you suppose
they call me Crazy Joey?

Crazy like a fox.

Always do the unexpected.

Do you think that
their boys back home

would give me their
support if they knew

I'd killed off their bosses?

Like hell, they would.

And I don't want their
support if they did.

Loyalty is very important.

You're talking about 300 people.

Hey, you're making me sound like

a very unfeeling fellow.

You know, I've got a
bet going with Nicky

that at least half the
passengers survive.

Besides, who thinks
anybody is crazy enough

to do what I'm
doing just to kill off

four or five old friends, huh?

Somebody'll pin it on you.

Not a chance, kid.

Now, you people in this room
are the only ones in the world

who know that I left Palermo.

I'm going to get off this ship,

go out to where my private jet

is waiting for me,

and by tonight, I'll
be back in Palermo,

and nobody will
ever know that I left.

the rest of you...

You're bluffing, Joey.

That was number one.

Three, four, and five
go off in a half an hour,

just to give those who are left

time to think about

the sharks circling
around outside,

licking their lips!

What about number two?
When does that go off?

Oh, yeah.

I'm, uh, I'm glad you
reminded me of that.

I almost forgot.

There it is.

It goes off in six minutes.

Sort of my own personal way

of saying goodbye to a lot of...

old, close friends.

The boat's here!

I'll never forget you.

Let me at it.

Wait... Wait a minute...
What are you doing?

I'm going to throw that
thing out the porthole.

What are you, crazy?

You touch it, it might go off.

It's going to go
off anyway, isn't it?

What do you want to do?

You want to stand
here and look at it?

What do you want
to do? I don't know.

Guys, open the
porthole. Don't touch it!

Now, what do you guys
know about bombs?

Well, what do you
know about bombs?

I know if you touch that box
not knowing what you're doing,

you're going to blow yourself
and everybody else out of here.

What do you mean?

What are you talking about?

What we're talking
about is police demolition

and little things like
impact switches...

Delayed fuses...

Directional fuses...

Pressure-sensitive detonators...

Trembler switches.

Well, we're running out of time.

Cut them loose.

Captain, there
has definitely been

some sort of explosion aboard.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

Oh dear, oh dear.

All right, grab that table.

Turn it up on end and
lean it against the door.

Grab some more sandbags.

Move it back a little.

Move it back!

That's it. That's it.

Bring it down now.

Right under the switch there.


Get these out of here.

Get them out of here.

We've got one minute.

Come on.

One more.

50 seconds.

Another sand bag.

Okay. Bring it.

40 seconds.

Put another sand bag in there.

What's the time?

Give me the time!

32 seconds.

Come on.

Marty, what have you got?

25 seconds.

Okay, get in the room.

Come on, get in the room!

Get in the room!

Okay, come on, come on, come on.

Do you think it'll work?

It ain't definite,

But at moments like
these, it's comforting to know

you got a partner that bathes.

Right, that's far enough!

Now, nobody is to move
until I've had an explanation!

The most preposterous
story I ever heard.

Explain why the Captain's
dead and Jensen's missing.

Look, Stafford,
there are three more

of those devices
left on the ship,

and if we don't find them,

hope your passengers
can tread water!

There's 17 minutes,
if we're lucky!

17 minutes.

For three bombs
to sink the Amapola,

they'd have to be
below or near waterline!

Try the engine room
and the cargo hold.

What can I do? I don't know.

I'll attend to these gentlemen

and then check the lifeboats.

Go on, Miss, frisk them.

Let's split up.

I'll take the
fantail... Fantail?

I get the front.

You take the back.

Got it.


See you around.

Oh, Mr. Zack,

just the one we want to see.

Bertha's been practicing
her new routine all morning.

Yeah, I'm sure it's wonderful,

but right now, it's
everybody on deck.

We got a new game. Oh!

A new game.

I love games!








How many you got?

I got one!

We got two.

You got two?

No, I got one!

We got two.


We're looking for three!



What? I got it.



Where are you going?

To get at it from over
here. Through here.

I got it from here.

How much time we got left?

Uh, four minutes.

Don't go away.

How you doing?

I got an idea.

Don't go away.

I'll be right back.

Easy. I got it,
I got it, I got it.

I got it.

The middle one.

I got it.

Come on.



We have to keep the tension.

Lot of tension.


Let's go.

Let's go!

Up there!

Okay, okay.


Put it down.

Give me the rope.

Just take one end of it.




I don't know about you,

but when we get home,

I'm going to slip a fiver
to the first holy man I see.

You sure you know
what you're doing?

Do you read me,
San Carlos Station?

Respond, please.

Si, Amapola, we are here. Hutch!

Our authorities have confirmed

identities of police officers

Starsky and Hutchinson

with American Consulate.

We are authorized
to assist you. Oigo?

That's beautiful.

This is Detective Hutchinson.

Wanted criminals left this ship
by boat less than an hour ago,

presumably heading
for a Mexican airfield.

Can you help us? Over.

There's only one
Mexican airfield

they could reach from here.

They'd have to land
their boat near this road.

We are sending a government
helicopter to your position.

We should have
you within 10 minutes,

but we will only be able

to transport you
as far as the coast.

Can you provide us
with a pursuit vehicle?

We will try to
provide something.

By Godfrey, there's
nothing like a spot of danger

to make the old
blood race, is there?

All right, where's Nicky?

My brain's baking out here.

I know.

He went for the
jeep, Mr. Fortune.

He'll be back here any minute.


Hey, Mr. Fortune.



It's about time.

Help me up.


Now drive, and get
me out of this sun.

Starsk, there it is.

Thank you!

I'll drive.

You sure you know
what you're doing?

Yeah, I was raised
in one of these things.

Take it easy, take it easy!

Every one of those bumps
is going right through me.

Sorry, Mr. Fortune,
but we can't stop again

if we're going to
get to the airport

when you wanted to.

Well, take it easy.

I know this isn't

the best time to talk about it,

but what exactly
did you do in Duluth?

That depends!

On what?

The day of the week!

Hey, we got company!

I feel like I'm
eating the desert.



Will you take it easy, Starsk?

How are we gonna
stop them? Watch this!

Watch out for the tree!

What tree?

I can't see a bloody thing!

Just hang on!


What's the matter... you crazy?

Take it easy, buddy.

I'm a certified pilot.


Don't look down, Starsk!

Here they come!

Hey, wait a minute.

Get me out of here.

Nah, we're gonna nail them

when they come over the top.

Olley, olley in
free. Don't move.

Hey, I'm unarmed.

Welcome home, Joey.

Attention, please,
ladies and gentlemen.

I'm sure you will all agree
that Mr. Hack and Mr. Zack

did their best to
amuse you on this trip.

Thank you.

Yes, they did their best.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

Hop it.

And I now take...

Thank you.

And I now take great pleasure,

as the newly appointed
Captain of this boatship,

in introducing a
friend of theirs,

Mr. Huggerini the Incredible!

"Sit here."

Wait'll you see this.

It's terrific.

Thank you and good afternoon,

devotees of the
magical mysteries.

Prepare yourselves
to go out of your gourds

with childish wonder and delight

as I perform,
for the first time,

my famous "Thousand Swords."

Thousand what?


And now my assistant, Bertha.

That's my baby!

I'm in show biz, Ma.

Baby Bertha, oh.


Would you excuse us?

Excuse us, Mrs. Zelinka.

Huggy. Huggy.

Come here.

Why don't you just
stick with the straitjacket?

What's this swords routine?

What are you gonna
do with those swords?

Never fear!

The wizard is here.

Ah, lovely lady.

Are you ready to flaunt

the magical daggers of disaster?

Yes, oh great black one.

Step into the cabinet of mayhem

and place your very life
in these wondrous hands!

He doesn't know what he's doing.

He's going to fill
her full of holes.

Starsky, we gotta
do something to...

Well, let the world know
how wonderful this man is.

Really, he's terrific.

We've seen his act
a thousand times.

It's fantastic. It's
magnificent. Beautiful.

Wait till you see it.

Thank you.

I now close the cabinet.

And now, the placement of
the first razor-sharp sword.

Solid steel.




This is my big chance, Ma.

The view is better over here.