SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 2, Episode 15 - Sailor Mouth/Artist Unknown - full transcript
Sailor Mouth: SpongeBob reads a "bad" word off the dumpster behind the Krusty Krabs and he doesn't know what it means. He asks Patrick who explains to him that it's a fancy word and both of them start using it in every sentence they can. But when Mr. Krabs hears them he goes berserk and warns them never to use it again. Later on, SpongeBob accidentally uses the "bad" word again and Patrick runs to tell on him to Mr. Krabs. SpongeBob chases him and in the excitement, Mr. Krabs accidentally stubs his toe and says the "bad" word as well. SpongeBob and Patrick can't believe it and they run to Mr. Krabs mother to tell on him and she makes them all paint her house as punishment. Artist Unknown: Squidward is teaching an art class at the adult learning center in Bikini Bottom and SpongeBob turns up as his only student. SpongeBob is a natural and Squidward crushes his spirit with all his criticism. SpongeBob leaves the class convinced he has no talent. When an art collector arrives moments later and commissions Squidward to make a statue for the park, Squidward realizes he needs SpongeBob's help and begs him to come back and try again. But SpongeBob can longer perform like he did and his art now comes out as bad as Squidward's. Frustrated with SpongeBob, Squidward destroys all of the supplies and the land in a heap behind him. When the art collector arrives he asks if the heap is his statue and Squidward denies he has anything to do with it. We reveal the heap and it is an amazing statue that gets erected in the park with the plaque underneath reading "artist unknown". Squidward is never recognized as an artist at all.
NARRATOR:
Here we are again at the
Bikini Bottom Boating School.
Today is once again
the day of SpongeBob's
boating school exam,
but more importantly, this is
the last test for the year,
and if SpongeBob does not
pass this one,
it means another whole year
of boating school!
( crash, glass shattering )
( groaning )
Wha' happen?
Oh, nothing, SpongeBob.
You just struck
another pedestrian.
Minus 20 more points.
How many does that
leave me with?
Negative 224.
How many more minutes
left in the test?
The test is over.
That's enough time!
I can make up those points!
No... SpongeBob!
Wait! You didn't hear me
( screams )
It's too late! SpongeBob!
( coughing )
Okay, Mrs. Puff,
what's my final score?
Six.
Whoo!
And how many do I need to pass?
Six.
Ooh...
Hundred.
Wha...?
Six hundred.
You need 600 to pass.
You got six.
Don't worry.
I'll be all right, Mrs. Puff.
Besides...
this means I get to
be in your class
for a whole 'nother year!
Well, see you next Tuesday.
Yeah!
♪ I'm gonna get
my driver's license ♪
♪ And it's only gonna take
one more year, one more year ♪
♪ One more super-duper year ♪
♪ One more super-spectacular ♪
♪ Extra-magical,
extra-fantastical year... ♪
( thinking ):
Oh, Neptune.
Another year with him!
Barnacles!
Dirty barnacles!
I've got to do something
to save myself.
Oh... there's only one way out.
A teacher's ace in the hole.
Extra credit!
What was that, Mrs. Puff?
Extra credit, SpongeBob.
The extra credit.
( laughing wildly )
I still have a chance.
I, I mean,
you still have a chance.
What's extra credit?
It's when you get credit
for the things you weren't
able to do before.
( high-pitched ):
♪ Oh... ♪
Now, are we ready
for that extra credit?
Extra credit!
That's the spirit.
So, all you have to do
to earn your extra credit
and pass my class
and never have to come
anywhere near this school again
is write a ten-word sentence
on what you've learned
in boating school.
But I've learned so many things.
Just pick one,
I don't care which.
Here, I'll help you get started.
"What I learned
in boating school is..."
There! That's already
seven words!
Only three more!
L-E-A-R...
( pencil breaks )
Oh, barnacles!
What's wrong?
Got to sharpen my pencil.
( whistling )
Hmm...
( humming )
Hmm?
( humming )
( humming )
( humming )
N-E...
( pencil snaps )
Oh!
( whistling )
Give me that!
Here's a pen.
A pen! One of the most permanent
of all writing utensils.
♪ Gonna write an essay ♪
♪ That's what I say. ♪
There.
Fantastic! Let me see it.
No, wait, I changed my mind!
I'm sure what you've written
is fine.
Just let me see.
No, don't look!
It's not ready.
It's so simple!
Only ten words!
"What I learned
in boating school is..."
Blankety... blankety... blank!
I can do this. I can do this!
"What I learned
in boating school is..."
"What I learned
in boating school is...!"
I can do this, I can do this!
Aah, aah... is it hot
in here, Mrs. Puff?!
Why is it so hot in here?!
Ahh! My hand!
My hand is cramping, Mrs. Puff!
Make it stop!
You only need
three... more...
words!
( grunts )
Okay... let me see
what you've written.
It's not ready yet.
That's okay, SpongeBob.
Show the teacher
what you've written.
No!
Give it to me!
No!
Let me see it!
"What I learned
in boating school is..."
Uh...
Well, the rest doesn't matter.
You pass! ( laughs )
You pass!
Mrs. Puff, I don't feel
like I really did anything.
That's how extra credit
is supposed to feel.
Really?
Besides, here's your license.
My license!
It tastes just like
l dreamt it would.
Mrs. Puff, I...
Thank you, SpongeBob.
Congratulations.
Have a nice life.
Look out, Bikini Bottom!
There's a new driver on the road
and his name is...
SpongeBob SquarePants!
( echoing ):
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la... ♪
Aah!
Ooh, ow...!
♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la... ♪
Ouch.
ALL:
Harris, happy birthday!
♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la... ♪
( thumping and rattling )
So much destruction.
This reporter asks why.
Local consensus places the blame
on this negligent,
selfish driving instructor
who... oh!
♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la... ♪
Let's... not... use that take.
That's preposterous.
He did the extra credit.
( laughs nervously )
There's no need to worry.
He doesn't even have
a boat to drive.
Now to go home and have
the rest of that pasta.
( chuckles )
Aah!
ALL:
Surprise!
To the greatest teacher ever!
Thank you,
Mrs. Puff.
I know I speak for everyone
when I say that we consider you
a member of
the SquarePants family.
( kissing )
I think you've made
your point, dear.
Ahem.
Mrs. Puff, we were
starting to think
SpongeBob was
never going to
get his license.
But you never gave up on him.
You never quit.
You never took the easy way out.
Well, I, uh... okay.
We wanted to make sure
Mrs. Puff...
the greatest driving
teacher in the world...
was here to see this.
See what?
Ta-dah!
"I-M R-DY."
BOTH:
A brand-new boatmobile?!
For... me...?
Oh...
Don't worry, Mrs. Puff.
He'll be driving by tomorrow!
Toodle-oo!
What have I done?
Everyone will know that I let
him slide through school.
I'll have to move
to a new city,
start a new boating school
with a new name.
No... not again.
I've got to end this thing
before it begins.
( crickets chirping )
You took quite
a buster there, son.
What I learned
in boating school today is...!
We're going to have to
hold off
on the driving there
for a while, son.
That's right, honey.
Now, just stay in bed.
And no going near the boat.
( door closes )
Hi, Boaty.
( squeaks )
( gasps )
Boaty, you're cold!
Take my socks.
Oh, Boaty, I'm always
going to take care of you.
You're the best boat
in the deep blue sea.
( kisses )
( sighs )
( rattling )
I hope I still remember
how to do this.
Yeah...
( starts engine )
( SpongeBob snoring )
Hey, I'm driving!
( both screaming )
( tires squealing )
( grunts, pop )
Who are you and what
are you doing in my boat?
And why are you wearing
that ski mask?!
Because you're not skiing!
Oh, my gosh, I know who you are!
No, you don't!
You don't know who I am.
Yes, I do!
I know that you're...
a boatjacker!
I never thought I'd have to
use this pepper spray.
( screams )
Somebody, help me!
Somebody, help me...!
Sorry, SpongeBob, but
it was for your own good.
( panting )
Give me back my boat!
( panting )
Ay... yi... yi...!
You'd better stop this boat!
( grunts )
I'm... not... letting... go!
Nothing will stop me!
Not even... ( gasps )
Giant clams?!
( snapping and yelling )
I'm... not... letting go...
even for... ( gasps )
Cheese graters?! No!
Ouch... no... no... no...
ow... oh... oh...
If... you think I'll let go
for a little...
Educational television?!
Oh, no!
( screaming )
Looks like that got rid of him.
Now for some tunes.
( static )
And now back to KRUD
with all of your personal
"You won't get away with
stealing my car!" hits.
( screaming )
( Mrs. Puff grunting,
tires squealing )
Hey, look.
( engine revving )
( both screaming )
Oof, oof...
Argh!
I'd never let you
have this boat.
Not even if you were...
( gasps )
Mrs. Puff?
( sputtering )
( engine revving )
( glass shattering )
( siren wailing )
So, how's it going, Mrs. Puff?
Uh, SpongeBob,
I'd like to... apologize.
I shouldn't have passed you.
You really weren't ready.
So, I guess I got to give
my license back, huh?
I hear Mrs. Flounder is starting
a new class Monday morning.
You kidding? You're the only
teacher for this student.
And besides, the warden says
she'll let you go early
if you do her a favor.
What's that?
SPONGEBOB:
Free driving lessons!
( laughing )
Here we are again at the
Bikini Bottom Boating School.
Today is once again
the day of SpongeBob's
boating school exam,
but more importantly, this is
the last test for the year,
and if SpongeBob does not
pass this one,
it means another whole year
of boating school!
( crash, glass shattering )
( groaning )
Wha' happen?
Oh, nothing, SpongeBob.
You just struck
another pedestrian.
Minus 20 more points.
How many does that
leave me with?
Negative 224.
How many more minutes
left in the test?
The test is over.
That's enough time!
I can make up those points!
No... SpongeBob!
Wait! You didn't hear me
( screams )
It's too late! SpongeBob!
( coughing )
Okay, Mrs. Puff,
what's my final score?
Six.
Whoo!
And how many do I need to pass?
Six.
Ooh...
Hundred.
Wha...?
Six hundred.
You need 600 to pass.
You got six.
Don't worry.
I'll be all right, Mrs. Puff.
Besides...
this means I get to
be in your class
for a whole 'nother year!
Well, see you next Tuesday.
Yeah!
♪ I'm gonna get
my driver's license ♪
♪ And it's only gonna take
one more year, one more year ♪
♪ One more super-duper year ♪
♪ One more super-spectacular ♪
♪ Extra-magical,
extra-fantastical year... ♪
( thinking ):
Oh, Neptune.
Another year with him!
Barnacles!
Dirty barnacles!
I've got to do something
to save myself.
Oh... there's only one way out.
A teacher's ace in the hole.
Extra credit!
What was that, Mrs. Puff?
Extra credit, SpongeBob.
The extra credit.
( laughing wildly )
I still have a chance.
I, I mean,
you still have a chance.
What's extra credit?
It's when you get credit
for the things you weren't
able to do before.
( high-pitched ):
♪ Oh... ♪
Now, are we ready
for that extra credit?
Extra credit!
That's the spirit.
So, all you have to do
to earn your extra credit
and pass my class
and never have to come
anywhere near this school again
is write a ten-word sentence
on what you've learned
in boating school.
But I've learned so many things.
Just pick one,
I don't care which.
Here, I'll help you get started.
"What I learned
in boating school is..."
There! That's already
seven words!
Only three more!
L-E-A-R...
( pencil breaks )
Oh, barnacles!
What's wrong?
Got to sharpen my pencil.
( whistling )
Hmm...
( humming )
Hmm?
( humming )
( humming )
( humming )
N-E...
( pencil snaps )
Oh!
( whistling )
Give me that!
Here's a pen.
A pen! One of the most permanent
of all writing utensils.
♪ Gonna write an essay ♪
♪ That's what I say. ♪
There.
Fantastic! Let me see it.
No, wait, I changed my mind!
I'm sure what you've written
is fine.
Just let me see.
No, don't look!
It's not ready.
It's so simple!
Only ten words!
"What I learned
in boating school is..."
Blankety... blankety... blank!
I can do this. I can do this!
"What I learned
in boating school is..."
"What I learned
in boating school is...!"
I can do this, I can do this!
Aah, aah... is it hot
in here, Mrs. Puff?!
Why is it so hot in here?!
Ahh! My hand!
My hand is cramping, Mrs. Puff!
Make it stop!
You only need
three... more...
words!
( grunts )
Okay... let me see
what you've written.
It's not ready yet.
That's okay, SpongeBob.
Show the teacher
what you've written.
No!
Give it to me!
No!
Let me see it!
"What I learned
in boating school is..."
Uh...
Well, the rest doesn't matter.
You pass! ( laughs )
You pass!
Mrs. Puff, I don't feel
like I really did anything.
That's how extra credit
is supposed to feel.
Really?
Besides, here's your license.
My license!
It tastes just like
l dreamt it would.
Mrs. Puff, I...
Thank you, SpongeBob.
Congratulations.
Have a nice life.
Look out, Bikini Bottom!
There's a new driver on the road
and his name is...
SpongeBob SquarePants!
( echoing ):
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
♪ La, la, la, la, la, la, la ♪
♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la... ♪
Aah!
Ooh, ow...!
♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la... ♪
Ouch.
ALL:
Harris, happy birthday!
♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la... ♪
( thumping and rattling )
So much destruction.
This reporter asks why.
Local consensus places the blame
on this negligent,
selfish driving instructor
who... oh!
♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la... ♪
Let's... not... use that take.
That's preposterous.
He did the extra credit.
( laughs nervously )
There's no need to worry.
He doesn't even have
a boat to drive.
Now to go home and have
the rest of that pasta.
( chuckles )
Aah!
ALL:
Surprise!
To the greatest teacher ever!
Thank you,
Mrs. Puff.
I know I speak for everyone
when I say that we consider you
a member of
the SquarePants family.
( kissing )
I think you've made
your point, dear.
Ahem.
Mrs. Puff, we were
starting to think
SpongeBob was
never going to
get his license.
But you never gave up on him.
You never quit.
You never took the easy way out.
Well, I, uh... okay.
We wanted to make sure
Mrs. Puff...
the greatest driving
teacher in the world...
was here to see this.
See what?
Ta-dah!
"I-M R-DY."
BOTH:
A brand-new boatmobile?!
For... me...?
Oh...
Don't worry, Mrs. Puff.
He'll be driving by tomorrow!
Toodle-oo!
What have I done?
Everyone will know that I let
him slide through school.
I'll have to move
to a new city,
start a new boating school
with a new name.
No... not again.
I've got to end this thing
before it begins.
( crickets chirping )
You took quite
a buster there, son.
What I learned
in boating school today is...!
We're going to have to
hold off
on the driving there
for a while, son.
That's right, honey.
Now, just stay in bed.
And no going near the boat.
( door closes )
Hi, Boaty.
( squeaks )
( gasps )
Boaty, you're cold!
Take my socks.
Oh, Boaty, I'm always
going to take care of you.
You're the best boat
in the deep blue sea.
( kisses )
( sighs )
( rattling )
I hope I still remember
how to do this.
Yeah...
( starts engine )
( SpongeBob snoring )
Hey, I'm driving!
( both screaming )
( tires squealing )
( grunts, pop )
Who are you and what
are you doing in my boat?
And why are you wearing
that ski mask?!
Because you're not skiing!
Oh, my gosh, I know who you are!
No, you don't!
You don't know who I am.
Yes, I do!
I know that you're...
a boatjacker!
I never thought I'd have to
use this pepper spray.
( screams )
Somebody, help me!
Somebody, help me...!
Sorry, SpongeBob, but
it was for your own good.
( panting )
Give me back my boat!
( panting )
Ay... yi... yi...!
You'd better stop this boat!
( grunts )
I'm... not... letting... go!
Nothing will stop me!
Not even... ( gasps )
Giant clams?!
( snapping and yelling )
I'm... not... letting go...
even for... ( gasps )
Cheese graters?! No!
Ouch... no... no... no...
ow... oh... oh...
If... you think I'll let go
for a little...
Educational television?!
Oh, no!
( screaming )
Looks like that got rid of him.
Now for some tunes.
( static )
And now back to KRUD
with all of your personal
"You won't get away with
stealing my car!" hits.
( screaming )
( Mrs. Puff grunting,
tires squealing )
Hey, look.
( engine revving )
( both screaming )
Oof, oof...
Argh!
I'd never let you
have this boat.
Not even if you were...
( gasps )
Mrs. Puff?
( sputtering )
( engine revving )
( glass shattering )
( siren wailing )
So, how's it going, Mrs. Puff?
Uh, SpongeBob,
I'd like to... apologize.
I shouldn't have passed you.
You really weren't ready.
So, I guess I got to give
my license back, huh?
I hear Mrs. Flounder is starting
a new class Monday morning.
You kidding? You're the only
teacher for this student.
And besides, the warden says
she'll let you go early
if you do her a favor.
What's that?
SPONGEBOB:
Free driving lessons!
( laughing )