SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 2, Episode 10 - No Free Rides/I'm Your Biggest Fanatic - full transcript
No Free Rides: SpongeBob attempts and fails his driving test again, but a ragged and fed up Ms. Puff wants him out of her classroom so she makes up some bogus extra credit for him so he can pass the test. This all backfires on Ms. Puff and the only way she can stop SpongeBob from menacing Bikini Bottom's roadways is to steal SpongeBob's boat so he can't drive it. I'm Your Biggest Fanatic: When SpongeBob and Patrick go to a jellyfishing convention, SpongeBob tries to join an exclusive, elitist jellyfishing club. Secretly, the club president thinks SpongeBob is not worthy, but for his own amusement he makes SpongeBob pass a series of grueling tests in order to join the club. The tests end up backfiring on him and SpongeBob learns that talking about jellyfishing isn't nearly as cool as just doing it.
Ah... ah... ah-choo!
( sighs )
36 days without a customer.
So... hungry...
Aah! Mr. Krabs!
A customer!
Oh!
No food... three days...
Hold on, me bucko!
Food's on the way!
Hey... you got
money, right?
Yeah...
SpongeBob, bring
this man some grub
before he keels over!
Here you go, sir.
Oh... Krabby
Patties, huh?
Finest under the sea!
Yeah, yeah, sure,
but where's the pizzazz?
Huh?
Look at this place.
I mean, what is the theme here?
Underwater?
It's boring!
Food... water...
atmosphere...
Nobody goes to a restaurant
for atmosphere.
They go for food!
Hey, Tom!
Fred! Hey, you want to
eat at the Krusty Krab?
Nah, let's go
to the Shell Shack.
They've got a talking dog.
Great!
Say, what's a dog?
Money walking!
l need to think up
a gimmick like that
to get people back in here!
I have an idea.
Wait, I've got an idea!
KRABS:
And so,
ladies and gentlemen
make sure you buy
lots of Krabby Patties
as I bury myself alive!
( whistling and cheering )
( band playing )
Go, go, go!
( cheering continues )
No free refills.
Hey, everyone, listen!
The talking dog
at the Shell Shack is singing!
Come on!
( crowd cheering )
Mr. Krabs, I have an idea.
What am I going to do?
If I don't find an idea,
I'll go out of business.
Mr. Krabs, I have an idea.
Why can't someone
give me an idea?
Mr. Krabs, I have an idea.
Great Neptune in heaven,
l need an idea!
Mr. Krabs... I have an idea...!
What in the name of money
are you waiting for, boy?
Tell me!
Okay, Mr. Krabs,
prepare yourself.
Don't bother sitting down
because you'll just stand up
when you see this.
Ta-dah!
Great Barrier Reef!
That patty's spoiled!
( laughs )
Mr. Krabs, it's
not tainted meat
it's painted meat.
Pretty Patties, available
in six designer colors.
( laughs )
Mr. Squidward!
Come look.
Don't that look appetizing?
Mm-mm good, sir.
( both laughing )
Wait! Give me an orange patty
with extra purple!
( laughs )
What's next,
sequined milkshakes?
Bow-tie French fries?
No...
♪ Pretty Patties,
Pretty Patties. ♪
Stop it...
( laughing )
I know this is a good idea.
I'll show you.
I'll, I'll...
I'll open my own restaurant!
You'll see!
( both laughing )
Hey, Patrick,
are you angry, too?
Yeah!
What's the matter?
I can't see my forehead.
What's your problem?
I have a good idea and
no one else thinks so.
Me, too!
Inflatable pants!
What's your idea?
I'm going to open up
a restaurant
and sell Pretty Patties!
Forget my dumb idea!
That's great!
Are you ready
for the big rush, Patrick?
Pretty soon those hungry
customers will be lining up
because we are open...
I'm ready!
I'm ready.
I'm ready...
( bell tolls )
( snores, gasps )
Patrick, how long have
we been sitting here?
Aw... I got to draw
a new battery for this.
What if Mr. Krabs
was right?
Maybe my idea is dumb.
( crying )
SpongeBob, sometimes
we have to go
deep inside ourselves
to solve our problems.
I'm scared.
Then I'm going in for you!
Gah...
Sorry...
stupid inflatable pants!
( grunting )
Did you find anything?
Huh?
Hey, do you sell food here?
( both giggling )
Yes, sir!
We sell Pretty Patties!
That thing's green!
( laughs )
Green!
( laughing )
( laughing )
Green...
Mr. Krabs was right!
What am I going to do
with all these?
Hey, is that one purple?
Purple is my favorite color!
This isn't half bad.
Hey, world, Pretty Patties
is the best idea ever!
WOMAN ( on TV ):
Oh, Rick, how could you?
( Krabs crying )
...together,
we were one.
RICK:
That was before.
But now...
I'm splitting us up.
ANNOUNCER:
We interrupt this program for
an important news announcement!
This wild throng behind me
is screaming for Bikini Bottom's
newest culinary sensation.
Let's take a listen.
ALL:
Pretty Patties!
Pretty Patties!
Pretty Patties?
ANNOUNCER:
lt's easy to see that
Pretty Patties are popular.
But just what is it
about them
that drives Bikini Bottom
feeders wild?
ALL:
They match our purses!
They remind me of home.
Pretty Patties rule!
ANNOUNCER:
Mr. SquarePants, how do you
explain all this success?
Uh... I don't know.
How can you make money
with such a stupid idea?
And how can you not make money
with such a brilliant idea?
( laughs )
At first we didn't know
what to do with all the money.
We tried burying it...
shredding it...
and burning it.
Aah!
But in the end, we decided
to just give it all away.
Come again, sir!
I'm getting back in line!
I don't believe it!
( panting )
I got to see this for meself!
Ooh!
Hey, watch it, buddy.
I don't care how much
you want your Pretty Patty.
You're going to have wait
in line like the rest of us.
I never had a line!
Who's number 46,853?
( crowd roars )
I never had 46,853 customers.
Here you go, sir.
Stay pretty.
( laughs )
All right.
Mr. Krabs,
is that you?
Isn't this great,
Mr. Krabs?
The pretty patties
are a big hit.
They sure are, boy.
You're doing pretty well
for yourself.
I guess you've completely
forgotten the Krusty Krab.
No, sir, I haven't.
In fact, sometimes I really miss
the old days at the Krusty Krab.
I bet you miss Squidward...
and the grill...
and the crow's nest.
Yeah, yeah!
And you know what I miss
the most, Mr. Krabs?
That tiny squeaky sound you get
when you rub
two pickles together.
You know what I mean, Mr. Krabs?
Uh... uh, yeah...
uh, yes, yes, I do, lad.
Well, the Krusty Krab
is only a short walk away.
Why don't you head on down
for old times' sake?
Ooh, I can't leave, Mr. Krabs.
What about the stand?
Oh, don't worry, lad.
I'll watch the stand for ye.
You will?
No... I've got
a better idea.
I'll take this old
roadside stand
off your hands...
for keeps.
And in exchange
I'll give you the Krusty Krab
with Squidward, the grill
and all those squeaky pickles.
What did you say, Mr. Krabs...?
Here's the key
to the Krusty Krab.
She's yours now.
Thank... you.
What should I do now,
Mr. Krabs?
Run to her, boy.
She's waiting for ya.
I can't feel my legs,
Mr. Krabs.
Don't worry, lad, I'll fix it!
Get this to the Krusty Krab,
on the double!
Good luck, lad!
Dreams do come true...
( gasps )
( yelling and laughing )
Ladies and gentlemen
Pretty Patties is now
under new management!
Who's next?
CROWD ( yelling ):
I am... I am... Over here...
( crickets chirping )
( rooster crows )
I'm ready, I'm ready...
I'm ready... for me money.
Welcome to Pretty Patties.
May I take your money?
We want a refund, Krabs.
( crowd yelling )
Who, how, what?
Your dumb Pretty Patties
turned my face purple!
Look what I got under my kilt!
ALL:
And look at our tongues!
What's wrong with you?
We want our money back.
All 46,853 of us.
Hey, where did he go?
( screaming )
Get him!
( crowd yelling )
( panting )
Oof!
My key! Where's my key?!
SpongeBob! SpongeBob, let me in!
( squeaking )
SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
SpongeBob, let me in!
( screaming )
( crowd yelling )
( squeaking )
SpongeBob!
( crowd yelling )
( squeaking continues )
( sighs )
36 days without a customer.
So... hungry...
Aah! Mr. Krabs!
A customer!
Oh!
No food... three days...
Hold on, me bucko!
Food's on the way!
Hey... you got
money, right?
Yeah...
SpongeBob, bring
this man some grub
before he keels over!
Here you go, sir.
Oh... Krabby
Patties, huh?
Finest under the sea!
Yeah, yeah, sure,
but where's the pizzazz?
Huh?
Look at this place.
I mean, what is the theme here?
Underwater?
It's boring!
Food... water...
atmosphere...
Nobody goes to a restaurant
for atmosphere.
They go for food!
Hey, Tom!
Fred! Hey, you want to
eat at the Krusty Krab?
Nah, let's go
to the Shell Shack.
They've got a talking dog.
Great!
Say, what's a dog?
Money walking!
l need to think up
a gimmick like that
to get people back in here!
I have an idea.
Wait, I've got an idea!
KRABS:
And so,
ladies and gentlemen
make sure you buy
lots of Krabby Patties
as I bury myself alive!
( whistling and cheering )
( band playing )
Go, go, go!
( cheering continues )
No free refills.
Hey, everyone, listen!
The talking dog
at the Shell Shack is singing!
Come on!
( crowd cheering )
Mr. Krabs, I have an idea.
What am I going to do?
If I don't find an idea,
I'll go out of business.
Mr. Krabs, I have an idea.
Why can't someone
give me an idea?
Mr. Krabs, I have an idea.
Great Neptune in heaven,
l need an idea!
Mr. Krabs... I have an idea...!
What in the name of money
are you waiting for, boy?
Tell me!
Okay, Mr. Krabs,
prepare yourself.
Don't bother sitting down
because you'll just stand up
when you see this.
Ta-dah!
Great Barrier Reef!
That patty's spoiled!
( laughs )
Mr. Krabs, it's
not tainted meat
it's painted meat.
Pretty Patties, available
in six designer colors.
( laughs )
Mr. Squidward!
Come look.
Don't that look appetizing?
Mm-mm good, sir.
( both laughing )
Wait! Give me an orange patty
with extra purple!
( laughs )
What's next,
sequined milkshakes?
Bow-tie French fries?
No...
♪ Pretty Patties,
Pretty Patties. ♪
Stop it...
( laughing )
I know this is a good idea.
I'll show you.
I'll, I'll...
I'll open my own restaurant!
You'll see!
( both laughing )
Hey, Patrick,
are you angry, too?
Yeah!
What's the matter?
I can't see my forehead.
What's your problem?
I have a good idea and
no one else thinks so.
Me, too!
Inflatable pants!
What's your idea?
I'm going to open up
a restaurant
and sell Pretty Patties!
Forget my dumb idea!
That's great!
Are you ready
for the big rush, Patrick?
Pretty soon those hungry
customers will be lining up
because we are open...
I'm ready!
I'm ready.
I'm ready...
( bell tolls )
( snores, gasps )
Patrick, how long have
we been sitting here?
Aw... I got to draw
a new battery for this.
What if Mr. Krabs
was right?
Maybe my idea is dumb.
( crying )
SpongeBob, sometimes
we have to go
deep inside ourselves
to solve our problems.
I'm scared.
Then I'm going in for you!
Gah...
Sorry...
stupid inflatable pants!
( grunting )
Did you find anything?
Huh?
Hey, do you sell food here?
( both giggling )
Yes, sir!
We sell Pretty Patties!
That thing's green!
( laughs )
Green!
( laughing )
( laughing )
Green...
Mr. Krabs was right!
What am I going to do
with all these?
Hey, is that one purple?
Purple is my favorite color!
This isn't half bad.
Hey, world, Pretty Patties
is the best idea ever!
WOMAN ( on TV ):
Oh, Rick, how could you?
( Krabs crying )
...together,
we were one.
RICK:
That was before.
But now...
I'm splitting us up.
ANNOUNCER:
We interrupt this program for
an important news announcement!
This wild throng behind me
is screaming for Bikini Bottom's
newest culinary sensation.
Let's take a listen.
ALL:
Pretty Patties!
Pretty Patties!
Pretty Patties?
ANNOUNCER:
lt's easy to see that
Pretty Patties are popular.
But just what is it
about them
that drives Bikini Bottom
feeders wild?
ALL:
They match our purses!
They remind me of home.
Pretty Patties rule!
ANNOUNCER:
Mr. SquarePants, how do you
explain all this success?
Uh... I don't know.
How can you make money
with such a stupid idea?
And how can you not make money
with such a brilliant idea?
( laughs )
At first we didn't know
what to do with all the money.
We tried burying it...
shredding it...
and burning it.
Aah!
But in the end, we decided
to just give it all away.
Come again, sir!
I'm getting back in line!
I don't believe it!
( panting )
I got to see this for meself!
Ooh!
Hey, watch it, buddy.
I don't care how much
you want your Pretty Patty.
You're going to have wait
in line like the rest of us.
I never had a line!
Who's number 46,853?
( crowd roars )
I never had 46,853 customers.
Here you go, sir.
Stay pretty.
( laughs )
All right.
Mr. Krabs,
is that you?
Isn't this great,
Mr. Krabs?
The pretty patties
are a big hit.
They sure are, boy.
You're doing pretty well
for yourself.
I guess you've completely
forgotten the Krusty Krab.
No, sir, I haven't.
In fact, sometimes I really miss
the old days at the Krusty Krab.
I bet you miss Squidward...
and the grill...
and the crow's nest.
Yeah, yeah!
And you know what I miss
the most, Mr. Krabs?
That tiny squeaky sound you get
when you rub
two pickles together.
You know what I mean, Mr. Krabs?
Uh... uh, yeah...
uh, yes, yes, I do, lad.
Well, the Krusty Krab
is only a short walk away.
Why don't you head on down
for old times' sake?
Ooh, I can't leave, Mr. Krabs.
What about the stand?
Oh, don't worry, lad.
I'll watch the stand for ye.
You will?
No... I've got
a better idea.
I'll take this old
roadside stand
off your hands...
for keeps.
And in exchange
I'll give you the Krusty Krab
with Squidward, the grill
and all those squeaky pickles.
What did you say, Mr. Krabs...?
Here's the key
to the Krusty Krab.
She's yours now.
Thank... you.
What should I do now,
Mr. Krabs?
Run to her, boy.
She's waiting for ya.
I can't feel my legs,
Mr. Krabs.
Don't worry, lad, I'll fix it!
Get this to the Krusty Krab,
on the double!
Good luck, lad!
Dreams do come true...
( gasps )
( yelling and laughing )
Ladies and gentlemen
Pretty Patties is now
under new management!
Who's next?
CROWD ( yelling ):
I am... I am... Over here...
( crickets chirping )
( rooster crows )
I'm ready, I'm ready...
I'm ready... for me money.
Welcome to Pretty Patties.
May I take your money?
We want a refund, Krabs.
( crowd yelling )
Who, how, what?
Your dumb Pretty Patties
turned my face purple!
Look what I got under my kilt!
ALL:
And look at our tongues!
What's wrong with you?
We want our money back.
All 46,853 of us.
Hey, where did he go?
( screaming )
Get him!
( crowd yelling )
( panting )
Oof!
My key! Where's my key?!
SpongeBob! SpongeBob, let me in!
( squeaking )
SpongeBob! SpongeBob!
SpongeBob, let me in!
( screaming )
( crowd yelling )
( squeaking )
SpongeBob!
( crowd yelling )
( squeaking continues )