SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 1, Episode 19 - Fools in April/Neptune's Spatula - full transcript
Fools in April: It's April Fools Day, one of SpongeBob's favorite days of the year because he gets to play harmless pranks all day long (even if most people don't get them). Squidward decides to teach SpongeBob what a REAL April Fools joke is and gets him, but also finds out mean is not necessarily funny. Only time will reveal who has the last laugh. Neptune's Spatula: On a visit to the Fry Cook Hall of Fame, SpongeBob inadvertently pulls a mythical spatula from a vat of ancient grease, thus giving him claim to the title of 'Worlds Greatest Fry Cook'. When the act summons the great King of the Sea, Neptune, however, SpongeBob must face the disbelieving god in the Ultimate Cook-Off Challenge.
ARE YOU READY, KIDS?
Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!!
♪ OOH! ♪
♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE
UNDER THE SEA? ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB
SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE
BE SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
READY?
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
( hearty laughter )
( flute playing )
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]
( snores )
( meows )
( snores )
( meows )
WAKE UP, GARY.
( meows quizzically )
WE'RE MOVING TODAY.
( meows )
THAT'S RIGHT.
WE'RE LEAVING HOME.
WE'RE GOING TO BECOME PEASANTS.
( meows )
NO MORE FOOD.
SORRY, GARY.
PEASANTS ONLY EAT
MASHED-UP CLAMSHELLS.
( sobbing meow )
( sobbing )
APRIL FOOLS!
THERE YOU GO, PAL.
WHOO, I'M THIRSTY.
THIS IS AN EXTREME THIRST.
WHEW.
I'M EXHAUSTED.
I SURE CAN'T WAIT
TO DRINK ALL THESE DRINKS.
APRIL FOOLS!
TO ME.
( braying laughter )
( laughing )
HMM.
WHAT'S HE SO HAPPY ABOUT?
APRIL FOOLS' DAY IS
SPONGEBOB'S FAVORITE HOLIDAY.
MR. KRABS,
I CAN'T COME IN TODAY.
I CAUGHT SOMETHING TERRIBLE.
WHAT'D YOU CATCH?
I CAUGHT SIGHT
OF THE CALENDAR.
OH.
HOLD ON, SQUIDWARD.
There's someone here to see you.
Says he's
from the Barnacle Bay Art Museum
and he wants to honor you
as artist of the month.
I HAVE ARRIVED.
( giggling )
WHAT?
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
WHERE'S THE ART DEALER?
( laughing )
YOU JUST MISSED HIM.
YEAH, BUT HE TOLD US
TO TELL YOU...
( snickering )
HEY, TELL ME WHAT?
HE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU
APRIL FOOLS.
WELL, IT'S BEEN NICE
WORKING HERE.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING,
MR. KRABS.
SQUIDWARD, WAIT.
JUST SEND MY LAST CHECK
TO THE P.O. BOX, MR. KRABS.
SQUIDWARD, IT WAS JUST A JOKE.
NO MORE JOKES
ON YOU TODAY.
I PROMISE.
YOU DO?
SURE.
THERE'S LOTS OF OTHER
WILLING PARTICIPANTS.
RIGHT, MR. KRABS?
( raspberry )
( laughing )
WELL, AS LONG
AS IT'S NOT ME.
EXCUSE ME.
COULD YOU TELL ME
WHERE THE FORKS ARE?
THEY'RE RIGHT
HERE, LADY.
OH, BUT THIS IS A SPOON.
APRIL FOOLS!
OH.
( laughs )
HUH...
WELCOME TO THE KRUSTY KRAB.
HOW MAY I HELP YOU?
YEAH. GIVE ME TWO LARGE FRIES
AND A JUMBO KRABBY PATTY.
HEY, WHAT'S THAT?
OH, I DIDN'T
SEE ANYTHING...
HEY, WHERE'D THAT OTHER GUY GO?
APRIL FOOLS!
I'M RIGHT HERE.
( laughs )
HEY, THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD.
( laughs )
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
BEHIND THE COUNTER?
EXCUSE ME.
CAN I GET
A COUPLE ICE CUBES
IN HERE PLEASE?
SURE.
A COUPLE OF ICE CUBES
COMING UP.
( whistling )
HERE YOU GO.
THANKS.
( wheezing squeak )
HUH?
( chuckling squeak )
HMM?
( slurps )
AH...
( laughing )
APRIL FOOLS!
WHAT DID YOU DO
TO MY DRINK?!
I... I...
YOU WHAT?!
YOU ASKED FOR A COUPLE
OF ICE CUBES IN YOUR DRINK
AND I ONLY PUT IN ONE!
( laughs )
I GUESS THAT IS
PRETTY FUNNY.
( laughs )
YEAH.
( SpongeBob laughing )
( grumbling )
( laughter continues )
HEY, YOUR SHOE'S UNTIED.
APRIL FOOLS!
YOU'RE NOT WEARING SHOES.
( laughing )
( laughing into microphone )
APRIL FOOLS!
OH! THAT'S IT!
SPONGEBOB AND HIS STUPID PRANKS.
I'M GOING TO SHOW HIM
WHAT A REAL PRANK IS ALL ABOUT.
( chortles )
( humming )
HMM?
OH, BOY.
SOMETHING FOR ME TO CLEAN UP.
( snickers )
APRIL FOOLS!
WHOA!
WHOA!
( SpongeBob screaming )
All:
OH, NO.
( laughing hysterically )
( SpongeBob screaming )
( all gasping )
( continues laughing )
( continues screaming )
( all gasping )
OH, OH, OW.
I'LL CATCH YOU, SPONGEBOB.
( snickering )
( Spongebob screaming )
OOPS.
( customers' dismayed gasps )
APRIL FOOLS!
YOU LITTLE SAUSAGE.
( laughing )
( whimpers )
( sobbing )
SPONGEBOB, I WAS JUST KIDDING.
COME ON, COME ON.
YOU GUYS KNOW
I WAS JUST KIDDING.
RIGHT?
OH, MAN, POOR KID.
THAT GUY HAS DEFINITELY GOT
SOME ISSUES TO WORK OUT.
APRIL FOOLS...
JERK.
WAIT, DON'T GO.
HEY, YOU STINK!
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
IT WAS A JOKE.
UH-HUH.
OH...
OH...
( groaning )
WHY IS IT WHENEVER I'M
HAVING FUN, IT'S WRONG?
I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE HIM CRY.
I GUESS THIS MEANS
I BETTER TELL SPONGEBOB
I'M SORR... ECH...
I GUESS THIS MEANS
I BETTER APOLOG... EE-YI!
THIS IS GOING TO BE
TOUGHER THAN I THOUGHT.
( clears throat noisily )
SPONGEBOB?
UH, SPONGEBOB, COME ON OUT.
I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.
SPONGEBOB?
OH, HUH?
SPONGEBOB, UH, I WAS THINKING
ABOUT TODAY AND...
AND, WELL, IT JUST SEEMS
THAT MAYBE I MIGHT
OWE YOU SOME SORT OF...
THIS ISN'T SOMETHING
I NORMALLY DO.
SO, SO, LISTEN CAREFULLY,
SPONGEBOB
BECAUSE I'M ABOUT
TO TELL YOU THAT I'M...
THAT I'M... WHAT?
PATRICK, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
DIGGING.
WHY ARE YOU
WEARING THAT HAT?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
OH.
WHERE'S SPONGEBOB?
HE'S IN THE HOUSE.
HE'S IMPRESSED.
WITH WHAT?
I DON'T KNOW
BUT IT MUST HAVE BEEN
PRETTY GOOD
TO MAKE HIM CRY LIKE THAT.
OH!
SPONGEBOB!
SPONGEBOB, LET ME IN THERE.
SPONGEBOB, YOU BETTER
LET ME IN THERE.
I DON'T WANT
TO HAVE TO USE THIS.
( playing out-of-tune melody )
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
SPONGEBOB, I JUST WANT TO SAY
THAT I'M SOOOO... RRY.
WHAT?
I'M TRYING TO SAY I'M...
( brays like a donkey )
WHAT?
I'M JUST TRYING TO SAY I'M...
THERE'S GOT TO BE
AN EASIER WAY TO DO THIS.
( humming )
WELL, AREN'T YOU
GOING TO OPEN IT?
I CAN'T.
I DON'T HAVE
A BOTTLE OPENER.
OH!
SPONGEBOB, I'M...
( whispering )
( sawing noises )
WHAT?
WH-WH-WHAT?
OH!
SPONGEBOB, ALL I AM TRYING
TO SAY IS THAT I AM...
( muted ):
SORRY.
THERE YOU GO.
BUT I COULDN'T...
I DON'T CARE.
I SAID IT.
MY CONSCIENCE IS CLEAR.
MUST HAVE BEEN PRETTY GOOD
TO MAKE HIM CRY LIKE THAT.
WHAT?
APRIL FOOLS...
JERK.
YOU STINK!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.
I ADMIT IT, I'M SORRY!
I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU.
IN FACT, SPONGEBOB, I LIKE YOU.
I LIKE LIVING NEXT DOOR.
I LIKE YOUR FOGHORN ALARM
IN THE MORNING
AND YOUR HIGH-PITCHED GIGGLING
AT NIGHT.
I ALSO LIKE GARY, PATRICK,
SANDY, MR. KRABS
AND ALL OF THE OTHER PEOPLE
I'M FORCED TO BE
IN CONTACT WITH.
AND-AND-AND-AND...
SQUIDWARD, IS ALL THAT TRUE?
YES, YES, SPONGEBOB.
YES, IT'S ALL TRUE.
EVEN THE PART ABOUT THE LIMA
BEANS AND THE CAR CHASE?
THE WHAT?
YES, YES, WHATEVER
BUT YOU HAVE TO PROMISE
NOT TO TELL ANYBODY.
I PROMISE.
REALLY?
All:
APRIL FOOLS!
( muttering gibberish )
APRIL FOOLS!
YOU'RE RIGHT-- APRIL FOOLS.
I JUST FOOLED YOU ALL.
( laughing hysterically )
WHAT WOULD WE DO
WITHOUT SQUIDWARD?
AH!
OOH!
OH!
OOH!
AH!
OOH!
AH!
OOH!
AH!
BEHOLD THE ULTIMATE
COOKING UTENSIL--
THE GOLDEN SPATULA!
HEY, SPONGEBOB,
LOOK WHAT IT SAYS HERE:
"MANY HAVE TRIED
TO PULL THIS SPATULA
"FROM THIS ANCIENT GREASE
AND ALL HAVE FAILED.
( grunting loudly )
"ONLY A FRY COOK
"WORTHY OF KING NEPTUNE HIMSELF
CAN WIELD...
"THE GOLDEN SPATULA."
THE GOLDEN SPATULA."
WOW.
WOW.
OH, OH, OH, OH!
TAKE A PICTURE OF ME
AND THE SPATULA.
OKAY, I'M READY!
EXCUSE ME...
DO YOU KNOW
WHERE THE MENU
SECTION IS?
UH...
THE MENU
SECTION?
THAT'S EASY.
IT'S OVER THAT WAY.
UH-OH.
HOLY SMOKES!
RUDE!
HEY, THE LIGHT CHANGED.
UH, PATRICK...
HOLD ON.
ALMOST THERE.
( booming laughter )
YES, YES, AT LAST--
SOMEONE WORTHY OF BEING
THE ROYAL FRY COOK!
WHO HAS FREED THE SPATULA
FROM THE GREASE?
UH, I DID,
MR. NEPTUNE, SIR.
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS.
( rumbling )
( laughing )
( rumbling stops )
A FINE JEST, BOY.
YOU ARE BUT A LOWLY
YELLOW SPONGE.
PUNY...
INSIGNIFICANT...
A COMMONER.
THEREFORE, YOU COULD NEVER
BE FRY COOK TO A GOD AND...
THIS IS WHY IT IS FUNNY!
( rumbling )
( laughing )
NOW STEP ASIDE WHILE I SEEK OUT
THE TRUE FRY COOK.
NO, NO, NO... HMM...
NO, NOT YOU,
YOU'RE TOO SHORT, NO.
AH!
BUT... BUT...
A PURVEYOR OF FOODS.
YES, YOU MUST BE
MY NEW FRY COOK.
UH, SORRY,
KING NEPTUNE.
I DON'T MAKE THEM;
I JUST SELL THEM.
THEN WHO PULLED
UP THE SPATULA?
WELL, HE DID.
( laughing )
IT IS EVEN FUNNIER
A SECOND TIME.
YOU, THERE--
CRUSTACEAN!
WHO, ME?
YOU HAVE THE
PHYSIQUE OF ATLAS.
THANKS. I WORK OUT.
( laughing )
MAKE POSES WITH ME.
OKAY.
( both grunting )
BODY SLAM!
YOU PULLED THE SPATULA
FROM THE GREASE.
NOPE, THAT WAS SPONGEBOB.
THIS JOKE HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH!
WHERE'S
MY FRY COOK?
CERTAINLY YOU
WITH YOUR PRODIGIOUS GIRTH
WOULD KNOW
WHO CAN FLIP A BURGER
TO SUIT A ROYAL PALATE!
WHAT?!
AM I EXPECTED
TO BELIEVE
THIS CREATURE IS ROYAL
FRY COOK MATERIAL?
I DON'T SUPPOSE
YOU HAVE ANY PROOF.
HA!
THIS THING IS UNFIT
TO EVEN SCRUB
THE ROYAL TAIL FIN!
AND BESIDES, IT'S
NOT JUST ENOUGH
TO PULL A SPATULA OFF
A GREASY GRIDDLE;
THERE ARE CERTAIN...
QUALITIES
THAT A ROYAL FRY
COOK MUST HAVE.
LIKE?
THE ROYAL FRY COOK MUST BE...
OH, LEFT-HANDED.
ACTUALLY, I'VE GOT TWO.
( fingers snapping )
ALSO, THE ROYAL FRY COOK
WEARS... RED UNDERWEAR.
NO, BLUE.
OH!
THE ROYAL FRY COOK'S
WALLET CONTAINS
HIS BIG TOES...
UH, HE HAS SIX.
HE IS THE NEW
ROYAL FRY COOK
AND YOU...
SILENCE!
IS IT HOT IN HERE,
OR WHAT?
( gasps )
PATRICK!
YOU HURT MY FRIEND!
YOU'RE NOT A KING.
YOU'RE A BULLY AND A LIAR!
SO, LITTLE ONE...
YOU THINK YOU HAVE
WHAT IT TAKES TO
BE MY FRY COOK.
I WILL PROVE YOUR
WORTHLESSNESS.
YOU SHALL BE TESTED
WITH A CHALLENGE!
Patrick:
BRING IT ON!
SPONGEBOB CAN HANDLE ANY...
OUCH!
YOUR FRIEND'S ARROGANCE
WILL COST YOU DEARLY.
THERE WILL BE
TWO CHALLENGES!
Patrick:
ONLY TWO?!
WHAT ARE TWO
CHALLENGES
TO SOMEONE
LIKE SPONGEBOB?
THREE CHALLENGES!
Patrick:
THREE?!
( laughing )
THREE CHALLENGES
ARE NOTHING.
MIGHT AS WELL BE
500 CHALLENGES!
ENOUGH!
HE'LL SETTLE FOR ONE.
THERE WILL BE
BUT ONE CHALLENGE:
YOU WILL FACE ME IN...
THE ULTIMATE COOK-OFF!
I WILL ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE
IF YOU FIX MY FRIEND.
Neptune:
AH, YES...
THE ROUND ONE.
I SHALL RESTORE HIM.
SPONGEBOB?
SPONGEBOB?
SPONGEBOB!
OH, THERE YOU ARE.
HOW YOU FEELING?
PRETTY GOOD.
SAY, HAVE YOU
GOTTEN TALLER?
AND NOW...
SEE THE FATE
THAT MAY LIE AHEAD.
FOR, IF BY SOME MINUTE CHANCE,
YOU MEET THE CHALLENGE
YOUR REWARD WILL BE GREAT.
BEHOLD!
( screaming )
WOOPSIE!
NOW BEHOLD--
MY BELOVED HOME
OF ATLANTIS.
A PRIZE WORTHY OF APOLLO.
YOU WILL RESIDE HERE
IN THIS GLORIOUS PLACE
COOK ONLY FOR ME
AND BE A GOD!
HEY, THAT SOUNDS
PRETTY GOOD.
BUT IF YOU SHOULD
NOT SUCCEED...
YOU MUST GIVE UP FRY COOKING...
FOREVER.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
I'M READY!
VERY WELL, THEN!
TO THE POSEIDOME!
Announcer:
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
WELCOME TO
THE ULTIMATE COOK-OFF!
( cheering and whistling )
ALL RIGHT, MATES
FIRST TO A THOUSAND PATTIES
WINS.
SHAKE HANDS.
( rumbling )
MAY THE BEST MAN WIN.
NOW GO BACK TO YOUR CORNERS
AND WHEN THE BELL SOUNDS,
COME OUT COOKING!
DON'T WORRY, LAD.
I HAVE TOTAL CONFIDENCE IN YOU.
PUT IT ALL ON NEPTUNE!
I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH
TO COOK IN ATLANTIS, PATRICK.
I NEVER SHOULD HAVE
TAKEN THE CHALLENGE.
DON'T GIVE UP YOUR
DREAM, SPONGEBOB.
PEOPLE USED TO TELL ME:
"PATRICK, YOU'LL NEVER
AMOUNT TO ANYTHING.
YOU'LL ALWAYS HAVE
YOUR HEAD IN THE CLOUDS."
BUT JUST LOOK
AT ME NOW.
( bell dings )
GO GET 'EM, TIGER!
( rumbling )
( laughing )
"ONCE UPON A TIME..."
( laughing )
PERFECT.
I WIN!
( whooping )
( laughing )
LOSER!
( laughing )
FREE PATTIES
FOR EVERYONE!
( cheering and applause )
( all cheering )
FOOLS! HAVE YOU NO TASTE BUDS?
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH THESE.
THEY'RE DELICIOUS!
Fish:
TOO CHICKEN TO EAT
HIS OWN BURGER!
Fish 2:
WHY DON'T YOU EAT IT?
( chanting ):
EAT IT! EAT IT!
OKAY, MINE'S NO GOOD.
BUT WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
HIS WILL BE ANY BETTER?
GIVE ME THAT!
MMM!
WHY, IT TASTES SO GOOD
I THINK I'D LIKE TO TRY IT
A SECOND TIME.
( all groaning )
SO, UH... WHAT
DO YOU THINK?
YOURS IS SUPERIOR.
THEREFORE,
I CONCEDE TO YOU--
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS,
YOU WIN.
( cheering )
YAY!
YAY!
Both:
WE'RE GOING TO ATLANTIS!
WE'RE GOING TO ATLANTIS!
( Neptune laughing )
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
YOU, SPONGEBOB.
THAT REPULSIVE THING
IN MY PALACE?!
YOU MEAN PATRICK
CAN'T COME?
( laughing )
OH, OF COURSE NOT.
AND MY FRIENDS...?
AH, THE ONLY FRIEND YOU'LL NEED,
MY DEAR BOY
IS THE ROYAL GRILL.
IT WAS NICE
KNOWING YOU, BUDDY.
( wailing )
I KNOW, MR. KRABS.
I'LL MISS YOU, TOO.
I LOST ME BET!
( crying )
COME, SPONGEBOB,
GRAB YOUR THINGS.
IT'S TIME TO DEPART...
TO ATLANTIS!
( crowd cheering )
I... I...
( sobbing ):
I DON'T WANT TO GO!
IT'S TOO LATE NOW.
I CAN'T LIVE
WITHOUT YOUR BURGERS.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE A GOD
AND LIKE IT!
MAYBE WE DO HAVE A PROBLEM.
( booming voice ):
WAIT, NEPTUNE!
I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA.
GOOD MORNING, KRUSTY CREW.
HI, PATRICK.
WHAT'LL YOU HAVE?
UH...
( Neptune hollers )
CAN YOU EXCUSE ME?
THE ACCURSED STOVE
HAS BURNT MY FINGER.
FEEL THINE OWN WRATH,
STOVE!
( rumbling )
HA-HA!
WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT
USING YOUR POWERS, TRAINEE?
PERFECT PATTIES ARE MADE
WITH LOVE, NOT MAGIC.
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]
Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]
Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!!
♪ OOH! ♪
♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE
UNDER THE SEA? ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB
SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE
BE SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
READY?
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
( hearty laughter )
( flute playing )
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]
( snores )
( meows )
( snores )
( meows )
WAKE UP, GARY.
( meows quizzically )
WE'RE MOVING TODAY.
( meows )
THAT'S RIGHT.
WE'RE LEAVING HOME.
WE'RE GOING TO BECOME PEASANTS.
( meows )
NO MORE FOOD.
SORRY, GARY.
PEASANTS ONLY EAT
MASHED-UP CLAMSHELLS.
( sobbing meow )
( sobbing )
APRIL FOOLS!
THERE YOU GO, PAL.
WHOO, I'M THIRSTY.
THIS IS AN EXTREME THIRST.
WHEW.
I'M EXHAUSTED.
I SURE CAN'T WAIT
TO DRINK ALL THESE DRINKS.
APRIL FOOLS!
TO ME.
( braying laughter )
( laughing )
HMM.
WHAT'S HE SO HAPPY ABOUT?
APRIL FOOLS' DAY IS
SPONGEBOB'S FAVORITE HOLIDAY.
MR. KRABS,
I CAN'T COME IN TODAY.
I CAUGHT SOMETHING TERRIBLE.
WHAT'D YOU CATCH?
I CAUGHT SIGHT
OF THE CALENDAR.
OH.
HOLD ON, SQUIDWARD.
There's someone here to see you.
Says he's
from the Barnacle Bay Art Museum
and he wants to honor you
as artist of the month.
I HAVE ARRIVED.
( giggling )
WHAT?
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
WHERE'S THE ART DEALER?
( laughing )
YOU JUST MISSED HIM.
YEAH, BUT HE TOLD US
TO TELL YOU...
( snickering )
HEY, TELL ME WHAT?
HE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU
APRIL FOOLS.
WELL, IT'S BEEN NICE
WORKING HERE.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING,
MR. KRABS.
SQUIDWARD, WAIT.
JUST SEND MY LAST CHECK
TO THE P.O. BOX, MR. KRABS.
SQUIDWARD, IT WAS JUST A JOKE.
NO MORE JOKES
ON YOU TODAY.
I PROMISE.
YOU DO?
SURE.
THERE'S LOTS OF OTHER
WILLING PARTICIPANTS.
RIGHT, MR. KRABS?
( raspberry )
( laughing )
WELL, AS LONG
AS IT'S NOT ME.
EXCUSE ME.
COULD YOU TELL ME
WHERE THE FORKS ARE?
THEY'RE RIGHT
HERE, LADY.
OH, BUT THIS IS A SPOON.
APRIL FOOLS!
OH.
( laughs )
HUH...
WELCOME TO THE KRUSTY KRAB.
HOW MAY I HELP YOU?
YEAH. GIVE ME TWO LARGE FRIES
AND A JUMBO KRABBY PATTY.
HEY, WHAT'S THAT?
OH, I DIDN'T
SEE ANYTHING...
HEY, WHERE'D THAT OTHER GUY GO?
APRIL FOOLS!
I'M RIGHT HERE.
( laughs )
HEY, THAT WAS PRETTY GOOD.
( laughs )
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
BEHIND THE COUNTER?
EXCUSE ME.
CAN I GET
A COUPLE ICE CUBES
IN HERE PLEASE?
SURE.
A COUPLE OF ICE CUBES
COMING UP.
( whistling )
HERE YOU GO.
THANKS.
( wheezing squeak )
HUH?
( chuckling squeak )
HMM?
( slurps )
AH...
( laughing )
APRIL FOOLS!
WHAT DID YOU DO
TO MY DRINK?!
I... I...
YOU WHAT?!
YOU ASKED FOR A COUPLE
OF ICE CUBES IN YOUR DRINK
AND I ONLY PUT IN ONE!
( laughs )
I GUESS THAT IS
PRETTY FUNNY.
( laughs )
YEAH.
( SpongeBob laughing )
( grumbling )
( laughter continues )
HEY, YOUR SHOE'S UNTIED.
APRIL FOOLS!
YOU'RE NOT WEARING SHOES.
( laughing )
( laughing into microphone )
APRIL FOOLS!
OH! THAT'S IT!
SPONGEBOB AND HIS STUPID PRANKS.
I'M GOING TO SHOW HIM
WHAT A REAL PRANK IS ALL ABOUT.
( chortles )
( humming )
HMM?
OH, BOY.
SOMETHING FOR ME TO CLEAN UP.
( snickers )
APRIL FOOLS!
WHOA!
WHOA!
( SpongeBob screaming )
All:
OH, NO.
( laughing hysterically )
( SpongeBob screaming )
( all gasping )
( continues laughing )
( continues screaming )
( all gasping )
OH, OH, OW.
I'LL CATCH YOU, SPONGEBOB.
( snickering )
( Spongebob screaming )
OOPS.
( customers' dismayed gasps )
APRIL FOOLS!
YOU LITTLE SAUSAGE.
( laughing )
( whimpers )
( sobbing )
SPONGEBOB, I WAS JUST KIDDING.
COME ON, COME ON.
YOU GUYS KNOW
I WAS JUST KIDDING.
RIGHT?
OH, MAN, POOR KID.
THAT GUY HAS DEFINITELY GOT
SOME ISSUES TO WORK OUT.
APRIL FOOLS...
JERK.
WAIT, DON'T GO.
HEY, YOU STINK!
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
IT WAS A JOKE.
UH-HUH.
OH...
OH...
( groaning )
WHY IS IT WHENEVER I'M
HAVING FUN, IT'S WRONG?
I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE HIM CRY.
I GUESS THIS MEANS
I BETTER TELL SPONGEBOB
I'M SORR... ECH...
I GUESS THIS MEANS
I BETTER APOLOG... EE-YI!
THIS IS GOING TO BE
TOUGHER THAN I THOUGHT.
( clears throat noisily )
SPONGEBOB?
UH, SPONGEBOB, COME ON OUT.
I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.
SPONGEBOB?
OH, HUH?
SPONGEBOB, UH, I WAS THINKING
ABOUT TODAY AND...
AND, WELL, IT JUST SEEMS
THAT MAYBE I MIGHT
OWE YOU SOME SORT OF...
THIS ISN'T SOMETHING
I NORMALLY DO.
SO, SO, LISTEN CAREFULLY,
SPONGEBOB
BECAUSE I'M ABOUT
TO TELL YOU THAT I'M...
THAT I'M... WHAT?
PATRICK, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
DIGGING.
WHY ARE YOU
WEARING THAT HAT?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
OH.
WHERE'S SPONGEBOB?
HE'S IN THE HOUSE.
HE'S IMPRESSED.
WITH WHAT?
I DON'T KNOW
BUT IT MUST HAVE BEEN
PRETTY GOOD
TO MAKE HIM CRY LIKE THAT.
OH!
SPONGEBOB!
SPONGEBOB, LET ME IN THERE.
SPONGEBOB, YOU BETTER
LET ME IN THERE.
I DON'T WANT
TO HAVE TO USE THIS.
( playing out-of-tune melody )
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
SPONGEBOB, I JUST WANT TO SAY
THAT I'M SOOOO... RRY.
WHAT?
I'M TRYING TO SAY I'M...
( brays like a donkey )
WHAT?
I'M JUST TRYING TO SAY I'M...
THERE'S GOT TO BE
AN EASIER WAY TO DO THIS.
( humming )
WELL, AREN'T YOU
GOING TO OPEN IT?
I CAN'T.
I DON'T HAVE
A BOTTLE OPENER.
OH!
SPONGEBOB, I'M...
( whispering )
( sawing noises )
WHAT?
WH-WH-WHAT?
OH!
SPONGEBOB, ALL I AM TRYING
TO SAY IS THAT I AM...
( muted ):
SORRY.
THERE YOU GO.
BUT I COULDN'T...
I DON'T CARE.
I SAID IT.
MY CONSCIENCE IS CLEAR.
MUST HAVE BEEN PRETTY GOOD
TO MAKE HIM CRY LIKE THAT.
WHAT?
APRIL FOOLS...
JERK.
YOU STINK!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.
I ADMIT IT, I'M SORRY!
I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU.
IN FACT, SPONGEBOB, I LIKE YOU.
I LIKE LIVING NEXT DOOR.
I LIKE YOUR FOGHORN ALARM
IN THE MORNING
AND YOUR HIGH-PITCHED GIGGLING
AT NIGHT.
I ALSO LIKE GARY, PATRICK,
SANDY, MR. KRABS
AND ALL OF THE OTHER PEOPLE
I'M FORCED TO BE
IN CONTACT WITH.
AND-AND-AND-AND...
SQUIDWARD, IS ALL THAT TRUE?
YES, YES, SPONGEBOB.
YES, IT'S ALL TRUE.
EVEN THE PART ABOUT THE LIMA
BEANS AND THE CAR CHASE?
THE WHAT?
YES, YES, WHATEVER
BUT YOU HAVE TO PROMISE
NOT TO TELL ANYBODY.
I PROMISE.
REALLY?
All:
APRIL FOOLS!
( muttering gibberish )
APRIL FOOLS!
YOU'RE RIGHT-- APRIL FOOLS.
I JUST FOOLED YOU ALL.
( laughing hysterically )
WHAT WOULD WE DO
WITHOUT SQUIDWARD?
AH!
OOH!
OH!
OOH!
AH!
OOH!
AH!
OOH!
AH!
BEHOLD THE ULTIMATE
COOKING UTENSIL--
THE GOLDEN SPATULA!
HEY, SPONGEBOB,
LOOK WHAT IT SAYS HERE:
"MANY HAVE TRIED
TO PULL THIS SPATULA
"FROM THIS ANCIENT GREASE
AND ALL HAVE FAILED.
( grunting loudly )
"ONLY A FRY COOK
"WORTHY OF KING NEPTUNE HIMSELF
CAN WIELD...
"THE GOLDEN SPATULA."
THE GOLDEN SPATULA."
WOW.
WOW.
OH, OH, OH, OH!
TAKE A PICTURE OF ME
AND THE SPATULA.
OKAY, I'M READY!
EXCUSE ME...
DO YOU KNOW
WHERE THE MENU
SECTION IS?
UH...
THE MENU
SECTION?
THAT'S EASY.
IT'S OVER THAT WAY.
UH-OH.
HOLY SMOKES!
RUDE!
HEY, THE LIGHT CHANGED.
UH, PATRICK...
HOLD ON.
ALMOST THERE.
( booming laughter )
YES, YES, AT LAST--
SOMEONE WORTHY OF BEING
THE ROYAL FRY COOK!
WHO HAS FREED THE SPATULA
FROM THE GREASE?
UH, I DID,
MR. NEPTUNE, SIR.
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS.
( rumbling )
( laughing )
( rumbling stops )
A FINE JEST, BOY.
YOU ARE BUT A LOWLY
YELLOW SPONGE.
PUNY...
INSIGNIFICANT...
A COMMONER.
THEREFORE, YOU COULD NEVER
BE FRY COOK TO A GOD AND...
THIS IS WHY IT IS FUNNY!
( rumbling )
( laughing )
NOW STEP ASIDE WHILE I SEEK OUT
THE TRUE FRY COOK.
NO, NO, NO... HMM...
NO, NOT YOU,
YOU'RE TOO SHORT, NO.
AH!
BUT... BUT...
A PURVEYOR OF FOODS.
YES, YOU MUST BE
MY NEW FRY COOK.
UH, SORRY,
KING NEPTUNE.
I DON'T MAKE THEM;
I JUST SELL THEM.
THEN WHO PULLED
UP THE SPATULA?
WELL, HE DID.
( laughing )
IT IS EVEN FUNNIER
A SECOND TIME.
YOU, THERE--
CRUSTACEAN!
WHO, ME?
YOU HAVE THE
PHYSIQUE OF ATLAS.
THANKS. I WORK OUT.
( laughing )
MAKE POSES WITH ME.
OKAY.
( both grunting )
BODY SLAM!
YOU PULLED THE SPATULA
FROM THE GREASE.
NOPE, THAT WAS SPONGEBOB.
THIS JOKE HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH!
WHERE'S
MY FRY COOK?
CERTAINLY YOU
WITH YOUR PRODIGIOUS GIRTH
WOULD KNOW
WHO CAN FLIP A BURGER
TO SUIT A ROYAL PALATE!
WHAT?!
AM I EXPECTED
TO BELIEVE
THIS CREATURE IS ROYAL
FRY COOK MATERIAL?
I DON'T SUPPOSE
YOU HAVE ANY PROOF.
HA!
THIS THING IS UNFIT
TO EVEN SCRUB
THE ROYAL TAIL FIN!
AND BESIDES, IT'S
NOT JUST ENOUGH
TO PULL A SPATULA OFF
A GREASY GRIDDLE;
THERE ARE CERTAIN...
QUALITIES
THAT A ROYAL FRY
COOK MUST HAVE.
LIKE?
THE ROYAL FRY COOK MUST BE...
OH, LEFT-HANDED.
ACTUALLY, I'VE GOT TWO.
( fingers snapping )
ALSO, THE ROYAL FRY COOK
WEARS... RED UNDERWEAR.
NO, BLUE.
OH!
THE ROYAL FRY COOK'S
WALLET CONTAINS
HIS BIG TOES...
UH, HE HAS SIX.
HE IS THE NEW
ROYAL FRY COOK
AND YOU...
SILENCE!
IS IT HOT IN HERE,
OR WHAT?
( gasps )
PATRICK!
YOU HURT MY FRIEND!
YOU'RE NOT A KING.
YOU'RE A BULLY AND A LIAR!
SO, LITTLE ONE...
YOU THINK YOU HAVE
WHAT IT TAKES TO
BE MY FRY COOK.
I WILL PROVE YOUR
WORTHLESSNESS.
YOU SHALL BE TESTED
WITH A CHALLENGE!
Patrick:
BRING IT ON!
SPONGEBOB CAN HANDLE ANY...
OUCH!
YOUR FRIEND'S ARROGANCE
WILL COST YOU DEARLY.
THERE WILL BE
TWO CHALLENGES!
Patrick:
ONLY TWO?!
WHAT ARE TWO
CHALLENGES
TO SOMEONE
LIKE SPONGEBOB?
THREE CHALLENGES!
Patrick:
THREE?!
( laughing )
THREE CHALLENGES
ARE NOTHING.
MIGHT AS WELL BE
500 CHALLENGES!
ENOUGH!
HE'LL SETTLE FOR ONE.
THERE WILL BE
BUT ONE CHALLENGE:
YOU WILL FACE ME IN...
THE ULTIMATE COOK-OFF!
I WILL ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE
IF YOU FIX MY FRIEND.
Neptune:
AH, YES...
THE ROUND ONE.
I SHALL RESTORE HIM.
SPONGEBOB?
SPONGEBOB?
SPONGEBOB!
OH, THERE YOU ARE.
HOW YOU FEELING?
PRETTY GOOD.
SAY, HAVE YOU
GOTTEN TALLER?
AND NOW...
SEE THE FATE
THAT MAY LIE AHEAD.
FOR, IF BY SOME MINUTE CHANCE,
YOU MEET THE CHALLENGE
YOUR REWARD WILL BE GREAT.
BEHOLD!
( screaming )
WOOPSIE!
NOW BEHOLD--
MY BELOVED HOME
OF ATLANTIS.
A PRIZE WORTHY OF APOLLO.
YOU WILL RESIDE HERE
IN THIS GLORIOUS PLACE
COOK ONLY FOR ME
AND BE A GOD!
HEY, THAT SOUNDS
PRETTY GOOD.
BUT IF YOU SHOULD
NOT SUCCEED...
YOU MUST GIVE UP FRY COOKING...
FOREVER.
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
I'M READY!
VERY WELL, THEN!
TO THE POSEIDOME!
Announcer:
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN
WELCOME TO
THE ULTIMATE COOK-OFF!
( cheering and whistling )
ALL RIGHT, MATES
FIRST TO A THOUSAND PATTIES
WINS.
SHAKE HANDS.
( rumbling )
MAY THE BEST MAN WIN.
NOW GO BACK TO YOUR CORNERS
AND WHEN THE BELL SOUNDS,
COME OUT COOKING!
DON'T WORRY, LAD.
I HAVE TOTAL CONFIDENCE IN YOU.
PUT IT ALL ON NEPTUNE!
I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH
TO COOK IN ATLANTIS, PATRICK.
I NEVER SHOULD HAVE
TAKEN THE CHALLENGE.
DON'T GIVE UP YOUR
DREAM, SPONGEBOB.
PEOPLE USED TO TELL ME:
"PATRICK, YOU'LL NEVER
AMOUNT TO ANYTHING.
YOU'LL ALWAYS HAVE
YOUR HEAD IN THE CLOUDS."
BUT JUST LOOK
AT ME NOW.
( bell dings )
GO GET 'EM, TIGER!
( rumbling )
( laughing )
"ONCE UPON A TIME..."
( laughing )
PERFECT.
I WIN!
( whooping )
( laughing )
LOSER!
( laughing )
FREE PATTIES
FOR EVERYONE!
( cheering and applause )
( all cheering )
FOOLS! HAVE YOU NO TASTE BUDS?
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH THESE.
THEY'RE DELICIOUS!
Fish:
TOO CHICKEN TO EAT
HIS OWN BURGER!
Fish 2:
WHY DON'T YOU EAT IT?
( chanting ):
EAT IT! EAT IT!
OKAY, MINE'S NO GOOD.
BUT WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
HIS WILL BE ANY BETTER?
GIVE ME THAT!
MMM!
WHY, IT TASTES SO GOOD
I THINK I'D LIKE TO TRY IT
A SECOND TIME.
( all groaning )
SO, UH... WHAT
DO YOU THINK?
YOURS IS SUPERIOR.
THEREFORE,
I CONCEDE TO YOU--
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS,
YOU WIN.
( cheering )
YAY!
YAY!
Both:
WE'RE GOING TO ATLANTIS!
WE'RE GOING TO ATLANTIS!
( Neptune laughing )
WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
YOU, SPONGEBOB.
THAT REPULSIVE THING
IN MY PALACE?!
YOU MEAN PATRICK
CAN'T COME?
( laughing )
OH, OF COURSE NOT.
AND MY FRIENDS...?
AH, THE ONLY FRIEND YOU'LL NEED,
MY DEAR BOY
IS THE ROYAL GRILL.
IT WAS NICE
KNOWING YOU, BUDDY.
( wailing )
I KNOW, MR. KRABS.
I'LL MISS YOU, TOO.
I LOST ME BET!
( crying )
COME, SPONGEBOB,
GRAB YOUR THINGS.
IT'S TIME TO DEPART...
TO ATLANTIS!
( crowd cheering )
I... I...
( sobbing ):
I DON'T WANT TO GO!
IT'S TOO LATE NOW.
I CAN'T LIVE
WITHOUT YOUR BURGERS.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE A GOD
AND LIKE IT!
MAYBE WE DO HAVE A PROBLEM.
( booming voice ):
WAIT, NEPTUNE!
I HAVE ANOTHER IDEA.
GOOD MORNING, KRUSTY CREW.
HI, PATRICK.
WHAT'LL YOU HAVE?
UH...
( Neptune hollers )
CAN YOU EXCUSE ME?
THE ACCURSED STOVE
HAS BURNT MY FINGER.
FEEL THINE OWN WRATH,
STOVE!
( rumbling )
HA-HA!
WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT
USING YOUR POWERS, TRAINEE?
PERFECT PATTIES ARE MADE
WITH LOVE, NOT MAGIC.
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]
Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]