SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 1, Episode 18 - Texas/Walking Small - full transcript
Texas: Sandy comes down with a case of the blues and SpongeBob is determined to find out why and what he can do about it. The cure proves a little more challenging than expected when it turns out Sandy is homesick for 'good 'ol Texas' and plans to go back home. SpongeBob and friends decide to bring a little bit of Texas right to Bikini Bottom. Walking Small: The evil Plankton is up to no good once again when he tries to manipulate SpongeBob into becoming aggressive and mean in order to get more out of life. SpongeBob discovers that just because people obey you they don't necessarily respect you. Besides, it's just more fun to be nice to people and have them like you.
ARE YOU READY, KIDS?
Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
♪ OOH! ♪
♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE
UNDER THE SEA? ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB
SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE
BE SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
READY?
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
( hearty laughter )
( flute playing )
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]
Spongebob:
GOOD MORNING, BIKINI BOTTOM.
AH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY.
♪ DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO, DOO-DOO-DOO ♪
I WONDER IF PATRICK'S AT HOME.
HIYA, SPONGEBOB.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
GOING OVER TO
SANDY'S PLACE.
HEY, WHAT'S THIS?
THIS DOESN'T LOOK
LIKE SANDY'S PLACE.
DON'T LOSE YOUR
BARNACLES, BOYS.
( kaiais )
THERE IT IS.
WHAT IS IT?
CAN'T YOU SEE?
IT'S TEXAS.
Spongebob:
"TEXAS"?
WHAT'S A TEXAS?
OH, IT'S NOTHING
BUT A MEMORY NOW.
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
UH, LET'S MAKE ONE
OF YOUR TREE DOME.
Y-YOU KNOW,
ALL OF A SUDDEN
I DON'T FEEL MUCH LIKE
SANDCASTLES, SPONGEBOB.
I'LL SEE Y'ALL LATER.
HMM?
SANDY...
( kaiaiing )
AW, SPONGEBOB
I'M JUST NOT FEELING
UP TO KARATE RIGHT NOW.
( laughing )
I GET IT.
"NOT FEELING UP TO KARATE," HUH?
WHATEVER YOU SAY, SANDY.
BOY, I HOPE
SANDY DOESN'T ATTACK ME
FROM BEHIND.
( kaiaiing )
( growing )
( grunting and groaning )
UH... SANDY?
SURF'S UP, SANDY.
NO THANKS.
( jellyfish buzzing )
BOY, THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE GOING JELLYFISHING.
( giddy laughter )
WHOA!
( giddy laughter )
LOOK, SANDY,
WE CAUGHT ONE!
LISTEN, SPONGEBOB
RIGHT NOW, I DON'T WANT
TO BUILD SANDCASTLES
PLAY KARATE OR EAT JELLYFISH.
( laughing )
WE DON'T EAT 'EM!
WE LET 'EM GO!
FLY AWAY,
LITTLE CRITTER!
GO ON, GO BACK HOME
WHERE YOU BELONG.
RUN ALONG, BACK TO YOUR FAMILY
AND FRIENDS.
I KNOW THEY MISS YOU
AS MUCH AS YOU MISS THEM.
HURRY, BEFORE THEY FORGET YOU
AND LEAVE YOU BEHIND!
REMEMBER--
♪ THERE'S NO PLACE
LIKE HOME ♪
( sobbing )
( gurgling sobs )
( flushing )
( gasping )
SANDY, WHAT THE HECK
ARE YOU CRYING ABOUT?
I AIN'T CRYIN',
MY HELMET JUST SPRUNG A LEAK.
SANDY...
OH, I GUESS I'M JUST FEELING
A LITTLE HOMESICK.
HOMESICK, HUH?
MM-MMM.
Spongebob:
ALMOST THERE!
DAD-GUM IT, SPONGEBOB,
WHAT IS IT?
♪ DA, TA-DA! ♪
Spongebob and Patrick:
WELCOME HOME, SANDY!
( sobbing )
SANDY?
GO AWAY.
I DON'T GET IT, PATRICK.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH SANDY?
MAYBE IT'S JUST
A SQUIRREL THING.
( tuning )
♪ WISH I WAS BACK IN TEXAS ♪
♪ THE OCEAN'S NO PLACE
FOR A SQUIRREL ♪
♪ WISH I WAS IN TEXAS ♪
♪ PRETTIEST PLACE
IN THE WORLD ♪
♪ OH, NO ♪
♪ I GUESS A-DEEP IN MY HEART ♪
♪ I'LL ALWAYS BE
A TEXAS GIRL ♪
♪ I WANT TO GO HO-O-O-O-OME ♪
♪ HO-OME ♪
( clams howling )
( Sandy yodeling )
HEY, PATRICK--
LISTEN TO THAT!
GET 'EM OFF ME!
GET 'EM OFF ME!
PATRICK!
LISTEN...
HEAR THAT?
IT'S SANDY.
♪ I WANT TO WAKE UP IN TEXAS ♪
♪ I MISS THOSE WIDE-OPEN SKIES ♪
( chittering )
♪ I MISS MY 20 ACRES ♪
♪ BARBECUES AND PECAN PIES ♪
♪ OH, WHY ♪
♪ WHEN I'M SO FAR FROM YOU,
TEXAS ♪
♪ ALL I CAN DO IS CRY ♪
( sobbing )
( music continues )
( sniffing )
( sobbing )
( Sandy yodels )
( sobbing )
( blowing )
♪ I WANT TO GO HO-O-O-OME ♪
( deep voice ):
♪ I WANT TO GO HO-OME. ♪
( sobbing loudly )
DO YOU THINK SHE KNOWS
THE MUFFIN MAN SONG?
PATRICK, SHE SANG THAT
SONG FROM HER HEART!
SHE REALLY MISSES TEXAS.
WELL, LET'S GO GET SOME TEXAS
AND BRING IT DOWN HERE.
PATRICK,
YOU CAN'T...
THAT'S IT!
PATRICK, YOUR
GENIUS IS SHOWING.
WHERE?!
EVERYTHING
LOOKS PERFECT.
WE'RE GOING TO GO
GET SANDY NOW.
Mr. Krabs:
WELL, HURRY IT UP, LADS!
CAN'T SQUAT LIKE THIS FOREVER!
Spongebob and Patrick:
KRUSTY KRAB! KRUSTY KRAB!
SANDY'S SURPRISE
IS AT THE KRUSTY KRAB!
WAIT'LL SHE SEES THE...
SHH!
DON'T SPOIL
THE SURPRISE.
( giggling )
HEY, SANDY!
HEY, SANDY!
YOU WANT TO
COME WITH US
TO THE KRUSTY KRAB?
HEY, SPONGEBOB.
HEY, PATRICK.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH THOSE BAGS?
I'M GOIN' BACK HOME TO TEXAS.
WHAT?! NOW?!
YOU CAN'T! I MEAN, WE...
IT'S TIME FOR
THIS TUMBLEWEED
TO TUMBLE ON HOME.
W-WAIT, SANDY.
YOU CAN'T, UH...
'CAUSE WE WERE GONNA...
AT THE KRUSTY KRAB
IS... THAT IS NOT
THE RIGHT DIRECTION...
WAIT! IF YOU DON'T...
IF I CAN'T...
( sputtering )
SANDY, WAIT A SECOND!
YOU DON'T WANT TO
LEAVE WITHOUT HAVING
ONE LAST CODDY-BATTY
DOWN AT THE KRUSTY KRAB!
I'M TIRED OF FISH
FOOD, SPONGEBOB.
B-BUT SANDY,
DON'T YOU WANT
TO SAY GOOD-BYE
TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS
DOWN AT THE KRUSTY KRAB?
I JUST CAN'T DO
THAT, SPONGEBOB.
IT'D BE TOO SAD.
N-NO, NO, WAIT!
SANDY!
I CAN'T BELIEVE
SHE'S GONE.
YEAH. WHAT'S SO GREAT
ABOUT DUMB, OLD TEXAS?
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
TEXAS IS DUMB?
DON'T YOU DARE
TAKE THE NAME OF TEXAS IN VAIN!
YOU MEAN WE CAN'T
SAY ANYTHING BAD
ABOUT DUMB, OLD TEXAS?
NO, YOU CAN'T!
OH, THEN, CAN WE
SAY PEOPLE FROM
TEXAS ARE DUMB?
NO! YOU CAN'T SAY NOTHIN'
ABOUT TEXAS!
OH!
SO WE SHOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING BAD
ABOUT TEX-AS!
I'M WARNING YOU, SPONGEBOB!
LOOK, PATRICK--
I'M TEXAS!
DUH, HOWDY, Y'ALL!
I'M TEXAS, TOO.
GET A DOG, LITTLE LONGIE.
HOWDY, Y'ALL!
HOWDY, Y'ALL!
GET A DOG,
LITTLE LONGIE!
GET A DOG...
Y'ALL BEST CUT IT OUT!
♪ THE STARS AT NIGHT
ARE DULL AND DIM ♪
♪ WHENEVER
THEY HAVE TO BE ♪
♪ OVER DUMB, OLD,
STUPID TEXAS! ♪
HEY, PATRICK, WHAT AM I NOW?
UH... STUPID?
NO, I'M TEXAS!
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE!
( guffawing )
YOU ALL BEST APOLOGIZE
OR I'M GOING TO BE ON YOU
LIKE UGLY ON AN APE!
YOU'LL HAVE
TO CATCH US FIRST!
( taunting laughter )
( both panting )
WE DID IT.
WE GOT HER.
KRUSTY KRAB,
HERE WE COME!
CAN WE SAY THAT PLANTS
FROM TEXAS ARE DUMB?
( guffaws )
CAN WE SAY THAT SHOES
FROM TEXAS ARE DUMB?
UH, OKAY, PATRICK,
THAT'S ENOUGH.
WHY? DO YOU THINK
THAT OLD SLOWPOKE,
TEXAS, IS GONNA...
( screaming )
RUN FASTER,
PATRICK!
( both screaming )
( screams )
SPONGEBOB!
( screaming )
( gasping )
( teeth chattering )
( Sandy kiaiing )
( gasping )
YOU'RE GOING
TO TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID!
( sputtering and gasping )
NO!
ALMOST THERE.
( grunting )
( screaming )
SPONGEBOB!
YOU BEEN MESSIN' WITH THE BULL!
NOW HERE COME THE HORNS!
NO, SANDY!
NO!
All:
HOWDY, YA'LL!
WHA... WHAT'S THIS?
IT'S A PARTY.
FOR YOU!
FOR ME?!
IT'S YOUR OWN LITTLE
SLICE OF TEXAS.
CHECK IT OUT, SANDY.
WE GOT SQUARE DANCIN'...
GIANT BARBY-Q's...
OW, OW, OW, OW, OW.
HOMEMADE PEAS-
IN-A-CAN PIES
AND WE GOT OUR VERY OWN
TEN-GALLON HATS.
SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
YOU GONNA STAY?
( laughing )
( gurgling laughter )
DON'T CRY ANYMORE,
SANDY.
I'LL GO GET
YOUR BAGS.
( gurgling continues )
( flushing )
I'M NOT CRYIN'.
I'M LAUGHIN'.
I APPRECIATE WHAT
Y'ALL ARE TRYING
TO DO, SPONGEBOB
BUT HOME ISN'T ABOUT
BARBECUES AND PECAN PIES.
HOME IS WHERE
YOU'RE SURROUNDED
BY OTHER CRITTERS
THAT CARE ABOUT YOU.
HUH?
DUH, WHAT AM I DOIN'?
I BEEN HOME ALL ALONG
AND I TOOK ME TILL
JUST NOW TO REALIZE IT.
DOES THAT MEAN
YOU'LL STAY?
I'M STAYIN'!
( all cheering )
WHOO-HOO!
SHE'S STAYIN'!
WHOO! THAT MAKES ME FEEL
ALL WIGGLY!
YEAH, WHO NEEDS
DUMB, OLD TEXAS?
Sandy:
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?
Patrick:
SHOULD I START RUNNING NOW?
( evil laughter )
ATTENTION, BEACHGOERS!
YOU ARE TRESPASSING!
YOU HAVE EXACTLY 17 MINUTES
TO HAUL YOUR CARCASSES
OFF OF THE FUTURE SITE...
OF THE CHUM BUCKET MEGA BUCKET.
DO YOU HEAR
SOMETHING?
( garbled loudspeaker )
OKAY, HAVE IT YOUR WAY!
I DON'T MIND BULLDOZING
OVER EACH
AND EVERY ONE...
MOMMY, LOOK.
SOMEBODY LEFT
THIS TOY TRACTOR HERE.
PUT THAT DOWN,
BILLY.
THAT HAS GERMS
ON IT.
OH...
AW, MOM...
YOU'LL SEE!
YOU'LL ALL SEE!
THE FUTURE SITE
OF THE CHUM BUCKET MEGA BUCKET
MUST BE CLEARED
OF THESE CRETINOUS BEACHGOERS
BUT IT'S BECOMING
INCREASINGLY OBVIOUS!
I CAN DENY IT NO LONGER!
I AM SMALL.
I NEED SOMEONE BIG
TO CLEAR THE BEACH FOR ME.
I NEED...
SPONGEBOB.
♪ STEPPIN' ON THE BEACH,
ROO-TO TO-TOO ♪
♪ STEPPIN' ON THE BEACH,
ROO-TO TO-TOO ♪
♪ STEPPIN' ON THE BEACH,
ROO-TO TO-TOO ♪
♪ STEPPIN' ON THE BEACH,
ROO-TO TO-TOO ♪
YES. HE'S THE ONE.
( evil laughter )
I'LL HAVE ONE...
TWO PLEASE.
THANKS.
ONE, PLEASE.
EXCUSE ME.
ONE, PLEASE.
SORRY, KID,
WE'RE ALL OUT.
AW, BARNACLES.
( sobbing )
( sobbing )
PLANKTON, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
AND WHY ARE YOU CRYING?
OH, HI, SPONGEBOB.
I'M CRYING BECAUSE I'VE
GOT THESE TWO ICE CREAM CONES
BUT I ONLY NEED ONE.
( sobbing )
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WITH THE OTHER ONE.
( sobbing )
I'LL EAT ONE OF THOSE
ICE CREAM CONES FOR YOU.
SPONGEBOB,
WOULD YOU DO THAT FOR ME?
SURE.
SPONGEBOB.
SPONGEBOB.
SPONGEBOB!
YEAH?
ISN'T IT GREAT
TO GET THE THINGS YOU DESIRE?
LIKE THAT ICE CREAM CONE,
FOR INSTANCE.
YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT
WITH A LITTLE TRAINING.
TRAINING?
YES. YOU JUST HAVE TO LEARN
TO BE MORE ASSERTIVE,
AND I CAN SHOW YOU HOW.
ASSERTIVE, HUH?
THAT'S RIGHT.
ANYTHING I WANT?
SOUNDS GREAT!
WONDERFUL.
( evil laughter )
SPONGEBOB.
DON'T LET THAT GUY SIT ON YOU.
ASSERTIVENESS LESSON NUMBER ONE.
TELL HIM TO GET OFF.
UM... EXCUSE ME, SIR.
Y-YOU'RE SITTING
ON MY BODY
WHICH IS ALSO MY FACE.
NO, NO, BE ASSERTIVE.
BEEP-BEEP.
NOT INSERTIVE.
SPONGEBOB, YOU
MISSED YOUR CHANCE.
YOU'VE GOT TO BE AGGRESSIVE
TO GET THE THINGS YOU WANT.
YOU'RE TOO SOFT.
BUT I'M A SPONG...
DON'T SAY IT.
( slurping )
THERE'S THE GUY WHO
TOOK YOUR ICE CREAM.
DON'T YOU WANT IT BACK?
ICE CREAM.
LISTEN, YOU.
MY FRIEND'S GOT
SOMETHING TO SAY.
WHAT? WHO SAID THAT?
WAS IT YOU?
TELL HIM OFF, SPONGEBOB.
ASSERT YOURSELF.
THAT'S MY ICE CREAM CONE.
GREAT!
NOW LET HIM HAVE IT!
YOU CAN HAVE IT.
SAY, THANKS.
NO!
I'LL SHOW YOU HOW.
Hey, pencil-neck!
Yeah, you!
Slither over here!
Surrender that ice cream cone
or every waking moment
for you will become
a swirling torrent
of pain and misery!
( sobbing )
HEY, THAT GUY WAS CRYING.
THOSE WERE
TEARS OF JOY.
HE WAS HAPPY
THAT YOU WERE ASSERTIVE.
YEAH!
YOU SEE HOW WONDERFUL
LIFE CAN BE
WHEN YOU'RE MANIACAL?
UH, I THOUGHT
IT WAS CALLED ASSERTIVE.
WHATEVER.
WELL, IF IT GOT ME
THIS ICE CREAM
THEN I LIKE IT.
( beeping )
I FOUND SOMETHING.
UH, EXCUSE ME, MY
METAL DETECTOR BROKE.
CAN I USE YOURS?
SURE.
SPONGEBOB.
THIS IS YOUR
NEXT LESSON.
BE AGGRESSIVE.
TELL THAT GUY TO TAKE A HIKE.
DO YOU WANT TO TAKE
A HIKE WITH ME?
YEAH.
NOW LOOK WHAT
YOU'VE DONE!
TELL THAT GUY TO GO
FALL IN A DITCH.
HEY, GO CHECK
IN THAT DITCH.
WOW. BURIED TREASURE.
THANKS.
DID YOU SEE THAT, PLANKTON?
THAT GUY FOUND
SOME BURIED TREASURE.
SPONGEBOB, YOU'LL
NEVER GET IT RIGHT.
TELL THAT GUY YOU KNOW KARATE
AND YOU'LL TIE HIM IN A KNOT
IF YOU DON'T GET
YOUR METAL DETECTOR BACK.
HEY! I'M GOING TO
TIE YOUR... SHOE
IF YOU DON'T
GIVE THAT BACK!
BUT I'M WEARING
SANDALS!
OKAY! NEVER MIND!
IT'S ALL RIGHT, PLANKTON.
HE'S WEARING SANDALS.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
OH, NOTHING, SPONGEBOB.
Mama!
I WAS JUST BEGINNING TO THINK
THAT THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME.
NO, IT'S NOT.
FORGET IT.
I GUESS YOU DON'T HAVE WHAT IT
TAKES TO BE A STANDUP GUY.
WELL, WHAT
ABOUT AIRLINE FOOD?
WHAT?
AIRLINE FOOD!
MY GOSH, WHAT IS UP
WITH THAT STUFF?
THANK YOU. GOOD NIGHT.
( rimshot )
SEE, I CAN BE
A STANDUP GUY. SEE?
SPONGEBOB, YOU'LL NEVER
GET WHAT YOU WANT.
YOU ALWAYS LET PEOPLE
STEP ALL OVER YOU.
YOU'RE JUST LIKE STAIRS.
WAIT, PLANKTON,
GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE.
OKAY, BUT THIS IS
YOUR LAST CHANCE.
LOOK AT ALL
THOSE BEACH HOGS
SOAKING UP
YOUR SUN RAYS.
DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT
TAKES TO GET A TAN?
JUST WATCH ME!
( all coughing )
MAN, THIS THING IS SAN... DY!
YES, MY PLAN
IS BEGINNING TO WORK.
THEY'RE LEAVING THE BEACH.
SPONGEBOB, THAT
WAS WONDERFUL.
IS THAT AN ALL-OVER TAN?
WELL, NOT ALL OF ME.
HOT DOGS!
HOT DOGS!
LOOK AT THAT
HUGE LINE
AT THE HOT
DOG STAND.
ASSERT YOURSELF
TO THE FRONT.
I'LL DO BETTER
THAN THAT.
LET'S GO HOME.
SPONGEBOB, THAT
WAS GENIUS.
LOOK AT ALL
THOSE KITE-FLYERS
BLOCKING YOUR VIEW.
WHAT?!
BREAKING
YOUR WIND.
A-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
( growling )
HEY, SPONGEBOB,
THROW US THE BALL.
( trumpeting )
WHAT DO WE
DO NOW?
LET'S JUST GO HOME,
I GUESS.
HA! PLANKTON, DID YOU SEE THAT?
I WAS A REGULAR ALPHA MALE.
( panting )
PLANKTON?
( engine starting )
HUH?
PLANKTON, ALL MY ASSERTING
HAS DRIVEN EVERYBODY AWAY.
EXACTLY.
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME
EVERYONE WOULD LEAVE.
OOPS.
MEGA BUCKET!
YOU USED ME
FOR LAND DEVELOPMENT.
THAT WASN'T NICE.
HAVEN'T YOU FIGURED
IT OUT, SPONGEBOB?
NICE GUYS FINISH LAST.
ONLY AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE
CONQUER THE WORLD.
( evil laughter )
WELL...
WHAT ABOUT AGGRESSIVELY
NICE PEOPLE?
HUH?
WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?
HOT DOGS! YAY!
( panting )
( cheering )
WAIT. SPONGEBOB, STOP!
BUTTERFLY KISSES.
I... CAN'T TAKE IT.
IT'S TOO CUTE.
IT'S, IT'S DISGUSTING!
WHAT HAPPENED?
I HIT A REEF
WITH MY NEW BOARD, DUDE.
NO PROBLEM.
WHOA!
COLOR!
SPONGEBOB, STOP--
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
YOUR KINDNESS
IS BRINGING EVERYBODY BACK.
GET BACK!
WAIT!
OOH! OUCH! OW! OW!
NO! OOH! OW!
COWABUNGA!
THANKS, DUDE.
THAT WAS AWESOME.
( groaning )
( groaning )
GEE, PLANKTON.
I'M SORRY ABOUT
THE CHUM BUCKET.
FORGET ABOUT THAT.
I JUST CAN'T TAKE SO MUCH
KINDNESS AT ONE SITTING.
NEED... HATRED.
VOLLEYBALL, ANYONE?
All:
YEAH!
SERVICE!
( laughing )
OUCH.
( laughing )
OUCH.
( laughing )
♪ OOH! WHO LIVES
IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB
SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE
IS SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
( country-style
acoustic interlude )
READY?
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
( hearty laughter )
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON
Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]
Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
♪ OOH! ♪
♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE
UNDER THE SEA? ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB
SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE
BE SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
READY?
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
( hearty laughter )
( flute playing )
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]
Spongebob:
GOOD MORNING, BIKINI BOTTOM.
AH, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY.
♪ DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO, DOO-DOO-DOO ♪
I WONDER IF PATRICK'S AT HOME.
HIYA, SPONGEBOB.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
GOING OVER TO
SANDY'S PLACE.
HEY, WHAT'S THIS?
THIS DOESN'T LOOK
LIKE SANDY'S PLACE.
DON'T LOSE YOUR
BARNACLES, BOYS.
( kaiais )
THERE IT IS.
WHAT IS IT?
CAN'T YOU SEE?
IT'S TEXAS.
Spongebob:
"TEXAS"?
WHAT'S A TEXAS?
OH, IT'S NOTHING
BUT A MEMORY NOW.
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
UH, LET'S MAKE ONE
OF YOUR TREE DOME.
Y-YOU KNOW,
ALL OF A SUDDEN
I DON'T FEEL MUCH LIKE
SANDCASTLES, SPONGEBOB.
I'LL SEE Y'ALL LATER.
HMM?
SANDY...
( kaiaiing )
AW, SPONGEBOB
I'M JUST NOT FEELING
UP TO KARATE RIGHT NOW.
( laughing )
I GET IT.
"NOT FEELING UP TO KARATE," HUH?
WHATEVER YOU SAY, SANDY.
BOY, I HOPE
SANDY DOESN'T ATTACK ME
FROM BEHIND.
( kaiaiing )
( growing )
( grunting and groaning )
UH... SANDY?
SURF'S UP, SANDY.
NO THANKS.
( jellyfish buzzing )
BOY, THERE'S NOTHING
LIKE GOING JELLYFISHING.
( giddy laughter )
WHOA!
( giddy laughter )
LOOK, SANDY,
WE CAUGHT ONE!
LISTEN, SPONGEBOB
RIGHT NOW, I DON'T WANT
TO BUILD SANDCASTLES
PLAY KARATE OR EAT JELLYFISH.
( laughing )
WE DON'T EAT 'EM!
WE LET 'EM GO!
FLY AWAY,
LITTLE CRITTER!
GO ON, GO BACK HOME
WHERE YOU BELONG.
RUN ALONG, BACK TO YOUR FAMILY
AND FRIENDS.
I KNOW THEY MISS YOU
AS MUCH AS YOU MISS THEM.
HURRY, BEFORE THEY FORGET YOU
AND LEAVE YOU BEHIND!
REMEMBER--
♪ THERE'S NO PLACE
LIKE HOME ♪
( sobbing )
( gurgling sobs )
( flushing )
( gasping )
SANDY, WHAT THE HECK
ARE YOU CRYING ABOUT?
I AIN'T CRYIN',
MY HELMET JUST SPRUNG A LEAK.
SANDY...
OH, I GUESS I'M JUST FEELING
A LITTLE HOMESICK.
HOMESICK, HUH?
MM-MMM.
Spongebob:
ALMOST THERE!
DAD-GUM IT, SPONGEBOB,
WHAT IS IT?
♪ DA, TA-DA! ♪
Spongebob and Patrick:
WELCOME HOME, SANDY!
( sobbing )
SANDY?
GO AWAY.
I DON'T GET IT, PATRICK.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH SANDY?
MAYBE IT'S JUST
A SQUIRREL THING.
( tuning )
♪ WISH I WAS BACK IN TEXAS ♪
♪ THE OCEAN'S NO PLACE
FOR A SQUIRREL ♪
♪ WISH I WAS IN TEXAS ♪
♪ PRETTIEST PLACE
IN THE WORLD ♪
♪ OH, NO ♪
♪ I GUESS A-DEEP IN MY HEART ♪
♪ I'LL ALWAYS BE
A TEXAS GIRL ♪
♪ I WANT TO GO HO-O-O-O-OME ♪
♪ HO-OME ♪
( clams howling )
( Sandy yodeling )
HEY, PATRICK--
LISTEN TO THAT!
GET 'EM OFF ME!
GET 'EM OFF ME!
PATRICK!
LISTEN...
HEAR THAT?
IT'S SANDY.
♪ I WANT TO WAKE UP IN TEXAS ♪
♪ I MISS THOSE WIDE-OPEN SKIES ♪
( chittering )
♪ I MISS MY 20 ACRES ♪
♪ BARBECUES AND PECAN PIES ♪
♪ OH, WHY ♪
♪ WHEN I'M SO FAR FROM YOU,
TEXAS ♪
♪ ALL I CAN DO IS CRY ♪
( sobbing )
( music continues )
( sniffing )
( sobbing )
( Sandy yodels )
( sobbing )
( blowing )
♪ I WANT TO GO HO-O-O-OME ♪
( deep voice ):
♪ I WANT TO GO HO-OME. ♪
( sobbing loudly )
DO YOU THINK SHE KNOWS
THE MUFFIN MAN SONG?
PATRICK, SHE SANG THAT
SONG FROM HER HEART!
SHE REALLY MISSES TEXAS.
WELL, LET'S GO GET SOME TEXAS
AND BRING IT DOWN HERE.
PATRICK,
YOU CAN'T...
THAT'S IT!
PATRICK, YOUR
GENIUS IS SHOWING.
WHERE?!
EVERYTHING
LOOKS PERFECT.
WE'RE GOING TO GO
GET SANDY NOW.
Mr. Krabs:
WELL, HURRY IT UP, LADS!
CAN'T SQUAT LIKE THIS FOREVER!
Spongebob and Patrick:
KRUSTY KRAB! KRUSTY KRAB!
SANDY'S SURPRISE
IS AT THE KRUSTY KRAB!
WAIT'LL SHE SEES THE...
SHH!
DON'T SPOIL
THE SURPRISE.
( giggling )
HEY, SANDY!
HEY, SANDY!
YOU WANT TO
COME WITH US
TO THE KRUSTY KRAB?
HEY, SPONGEBOB.
HEY, PATRICK.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
WITH THOSE BAGS?
I'M GOIN' BACK HOME TO TEXAS.
WHAT?! NOW?!
YOU CAN'T! I MEAN, WE...
IT'S TIME FOR
THIS TUMBLEWEED
TO TUMBLE ON HOME.
W-WAIT, SANDY.
YOU CAN'T, UH...
'CAUSE WE WERE GONNA...
AT THE KRUSTY KRAB
IS... THAT IS NOT
THE RIGHT DIRECTION...
WAIT! IF YOU DON'T...
IF I CAN'T...
( sputtering )
SANDY, WAIT A SECOND!
YOU DON'T WANT TO
LEAVE WITHOUT HAVING
ONE LAST CODDY-BATTY
DOWN AT THE KRUSTY KRAB!
I'M TIRED OF FISH
FOOD, SPONGEBOB.
B-BUT SANDY,
DON'T YOU WANT
TO SAY GOOD-BYE
TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS
DOWN AT THE KRUSTY KRAB?
I JUST CAN'T DO
THAT, SPONGEBOB.
IT'D BE TOO SAD.
N-NO, NO, WAIT!
SANDY!
I CAN'T BELIEVE
SHE'S GONE.
YEAH. WHAT'S SO GREAT
ABOUT DUMB, OLD TEXAS?
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
TEXAS IS DUMB?
DON'T YOU DARE
TAKE THE NAME OF TEXAS IN VAIN!
YOU MEAN WE CAN'T
SAY ANYTHING BAD
ABOUT DUMB, OLD TEXAS?
NO, YOU CAN'T!
OH, THEN, CAN WE
SAY PEOPLE FROM
TEXAS ARE DUMB?
NO! YOU CAN'T SAY NOTHIN'
ABOUT TEXAS!
OH!
SO WE SHOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING BAD
ABOUT TEX-AS!
I'M WARNING YOU, SPONGEBOB!
LOOK, PATRICK--
I'M TEXAS!
DUH, HOWDY, Y'ALL!
I'M TEXAS, TOO.
GET A DOG, LITTLE LONGIE.
HOWDY, Y'ALL!
HOWDY, Y'ALL!
GET A DOG,
LITTLE LONGIE!
GET A DOG...
Y'ALL BEST CUT IT OUT!
♪ THE STARS AT NIGHT
ARE DULL AND DIM ♪
♪ WHENEVER
THEY HAVE TO BE ♪
♪ OVER DUMB, OLD,
STUPID TEXAS! ♪
HEY, PATRICK, WHAT AM I NOW?
UH... STUPID?
NO, I'M TEXAS!
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE!
( guffawing )
YOU ALL BEST APOLOGIZE
OR I'M GOING TO BE ON YOU
LIKE UGLY ON AN APE!
YOU'LL HAVE
TO CATCH US FIRST!
( taunting laughter )
( both panting )
WE DID IT.
WE GOT HER.
KRUSTY KRAB,
HERE WE COME!
CAN WE SAY THAT PLANTS
FROM TEXAS ARE DUMB?
( guffaws )
CAN WE SAY THAT SHOES
FROM TEXAS ARE DUMB?
UH, OKAY, PATRICK,
THAT'S ENOUGH.
WHY? DO YOU THINK
THAT OLD SLOWPOKE,
TEXAS, IS GONNA...
( screaming )
RUN FASTER,
PATRICK!
( both screaming )
( screams )
SPONGEBOB!
( screaming )
( gasping )
( teeth chattering )
( Sandy kiaiing )
( gasping )
YOU'RE GOING
TO TAKE BACK WHAT YOU SAID!
( sputtering and gasping )
NO!
ALMOST THERE.
( grunting )
( screaming )
SPONGEBOB!
YOU BEEN MESSIN' WITH THE BULL!
NOW HERE COME THE HORNS!
NO, SANDY!
NO!
All:
HOWDY, YA'LL!
WHA... WHAT'S THIS?
IT'S A PARTY.
FOR YOU!
FOR ME?!
IT'S YOUR OWN LITTLE
SLICE OF TEXAS.
CHECK IT OUT, SANDY.
WE GOT SQUARE DANCIN'...
GIANT BARBY-Q's...
OW, OW, OW, OW, OW.
HOMEMADE PEAS-
IN-A-CAN PIES
AND WE GOT OUR VERY OWN
TEN-GALLON HATS.
SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
YOU GONNA STAY?
( laughing )
( gurgling laughter )
DON'T CRY ANYMORE,
SANDY.
I'LL GO GET
YOUR BAGS.
( gurgling continues )
( flushing )
I'M NOT CRYIN'.
I'M LAUGHIN'.
I APPRECIATE WHAT
Y'ALL ARE TRYING
TO DO, SPONGEBOB
BUT HOME ISN'T ABOUT
BARBECUES AND PECAN PIES.
HOME IS WHERE
YOU'RE SURROUNDED
BY OTHER CRITTERS
THAT CARE ABOUT YOU.
HUH?
DUH, WHAT AM I DOIN'?
I BEEN HOME ALL ALONG
AND I TOOK ME TILL
JUST NOW TO REALIZE IT.
DOES THAT MEAN
YOU'LL STAY?
I'M STAYIN'!
( all cheering )
WHOO-HOO!
SHE'S STAYIN'!
WHOO! THAT MAKES ME FEEL
ALL WIGGLY!
YEAH, WHO NEEDS
DUMB, OLD TEXAS?
Sandy:
WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?
Patrick:
SHOULD I START RUNNING NOW?
( evil laughter )
ATTENTION, BEACHGOERS!
YOU ARE TRESPASSING!
YOU HAVE EXACTLY 17 MINUTES
TO HAUL YOUR CARCASSES
OFF OF THE FUTURE SITE...
OF THE CHUM BUCKET MEGA BUCKET.
DO YOU HEAR
SOMETHING?
( garbled loudspeaker )
OKAY, HAVE IT YOUR WAY!
I DON'T MIND BULLDOZING
OVER EACH
AND EVERY ONE...
MOMMY, LOOK.
SOMEBODY LEFT
THIS TOY TRACTOR HERE.
PUT THAT DOWN,
BILLY.
THAT HAS GERMS
ON IT.
OH...
AW, MOM...
YOU'LL SEE!
YOU'LL ALL SEE!
THE FUTURE SITE
OF THE CHUM BUCKET MEGA BUCKET
MUST BE CLEARED
OF THESE CRETINOUS BEACHGOERS
BUT IT'S BECOMING
INCREASINGLY OBVIOUS!
I CAN DENY IT NO LONGER!
I AM SMALL.
I NEED SOMEONE BIG
TO CLEAR THE BEACH FOR ME.
I NEED...
SPONGEBOB.
♪ STEPPIN' ON THE BEACH,
ROO-TO TO-TOO ♪
♪ STEPPIN' ON THE BEACH,
ROO-TO TO-TOO ♪
♪ STEPPIN' ON THE BEACH,
ROO-TO TO-TOO ♪
♪ STEPPIN' ON THE BEACH,
ROO-TO TO-TOO ♪
YES. HE'S THE ONE.
( evil laughter )
I'LL HAVE ONE...
TWO PLEASE.
THANKS.
ONE, PLEASE.
EXCUSE ME.
ONE, PLEASE.
SORRY, KID,
WE'RE ALL OUT.
AW, BARNACLES.
( sobbing )
( sobbing )
PLANKTON, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING HERE?
AND WHY ARE YOU CRYING?
OH, HI, SPONGEBOB.
I'M CRYING BECAUSE I'VE
GOT THESE TWO ICE CREAM CONES
BUT I ONLY NEED ONE.
( sobbing )
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WITH THE OTHER ONE.
( sobbing )
I'LL EAT ONE OF THOSE
ICE CREAM CONES FOR YOU.
SPONGEBOB,
WOULD YOU DO THAT FOR ME?
SURE.
SPONGEBOB.
SPONGEBOB.
SPONGEBOB!
YEAH?
ISN'T IT GREAT
TO GET THE THINGS YOU DESIRE?
LIKE THAT ICE CREAM CONE,
FOR INSTANCE.
YOU CAN HAVE ANYTHING YOU WANT
WITH A LITTLE TRAINING.
TRAINING?
YES. YOU JUST HAVE TO LEARN
TO BE MORE ASSERTIVE,
AND I CAN SHOW YOU HOW.
ASSERTIVE, HUH?
THAT'S RIGHT.
ANYTHING I WANT?
SOUNDS GREAT!
WONDERFUL.
( evil laughter )
SPONGEBOB.
DON'T LET THAT GUY SIT ON YOU.
ASSERTIVENESS LESSON NUMBER ONE.
TELL HIM TO GET OFF.
UM... EXCUSE ME, SIR.
Y-YOU'RE SITTING
ON MY BODY
WHICH IS ALSO MY FACE.
NO, NO, BE ASSERTIVE.
BEEP-BEEP.
NOT INSERTIVE.
SPONGEBOB, YOU
MISSED YOUR CHANCE.
YOU'VE GOT TO BE AGGRESSIVE
TO GET THE THINGS YOU WANT.
YOU'RE TOO SOFT.
BUT I'M A SPONG...
DON'T SAY IT.
( slurping )
THERE'S THE GUY WHO
TOOK YOUR ICE CREAM.
DON'T YOU WANT IT BACK?
ICE CREAM.
LISTEN, YOU.
MY FRIEND'S GOT
SOMETHING TO SAY.
WHAT? WHO SAID THAT?
WAS IT YOU?
TELL HIM OFF, SPONGEBOB.
ASSERT YOURSELF.
THAT'S MY ICE CREAM CONE.
GREAT!
NOW LET HIM HAVE IT!
YOU CAN HAVE IT.
SAY, THANKS.
NO!
I'LL SHOW YOU HOW.
Hey, pencil-neck!
Yeah, you!
Slither over here!
Surrender that ice cream cone
or every waking moment
for you will become
a swirling torrent
of pain and misery!
( sobbing )
HEY, THAT GUY WAS CRYING.
THOSE WERE
TEARS OF JOY.
HE WAS HAPPY
THAT YOU WERE ASSERTIVE.
YEAH!
YOU SEE HOW WONDERFUL
LIFE CAN BE
WHEN YOU'RE MANIACAL?
UH, I THOUGHT
IT WAS CALLED ASSERTIVE.
WHATEVER.
WELL, IF IT GOT ME
THIS ICE CREAM
THEN I LIKE IT.
( beeping )
I FOUND SOMETHING.
UH, EXCUSE ME, MY
METAL DETECTOR BROKE.
CAN I USE YOURS?
SURE.
SPONGEBOB.
THIS IS YOUR
NEXT LESSON.
BE AGGRESSIVE.
TELL THAT GUY TO TAKE A HIKE.
DO YOU WANT TO TAKE
A HIKE WITH ME?
YEAH.
NOW LOOK WHAT
YOU'VE DONE!
TELL THAT GUY TO GO
FALL IN A DITCH.
HEY, GO CHECK
IN THAT DITCH.
WOW. BURIED TREASURE.
THANKS.
DID YOU SEE THAT, PLANKTON?
THAT GUY FOUND
SOME BURIED TREASURE.
SPONGEBOB, YOU'LL
NEVER GET IT RIGHT.
TELL THAT GUY YOU KNOW KARATE
AND YOU'LL TIE HIM IN A KNOT
IF YOU DON'T GET
YOUR METAL DETECTOR BACK.
HEY! I'M GOING TO
TIE YOUR... SHOE
IF YOU DON'T
GIVE THAT BACK!
BUT I'M WEARING
SANDALS!
OKAY! NEVER MIND!
IT'S ALL RIGHT, PLANKTON.
HE'S WEARING SANDALS.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
OH, NOTHING, SPONGEBOB.
Mama!
I WAS JUST BEGINNING TO THINK
THAT THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME.
NO, IT'S NOT.
FORGET IT.
I GUESS YOU DON'T HAVE WHAT IT
TAKES TO BE A STANDUP GUY.
WELL, WHAT
ABOUT AIRLINE FOOD?
WHAT?
AIRLINE FOOD!
MY GOSH, WHAT IS UP
WITH THAT STUFF?
THANK YOU. GOOD NIGHT.
( rimshot )
SEE, I CAN BE
A STANDUP GUY. SEE?
SPONGEBOB, YOU'LL NEVER
GET WHAT YOU WANT.
YOU ALWAYS LET PEOPLE
STEP ALL OVER YOU.
YOU'RE JUST LIKE STAIRS.
WAIT, PLANKTON,
GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE.
OKAY, BUT THIS IS
YOUR LAST CHANCE.
LOOK AT ALL
THOSE BEACH HOGS
SOAKING UP
YOUR SUN RAYS.
DO YOU HAVE WHAT IT
TAKES TO GET A TAN?
JUST WATCH ME!
( all coughing )
MAN, THIS THING IS SAN... DY!
YES, MY PLAN
IS BEGINNING TO WORK.
THEY'RE LEAVING THE BEACH.
SPONGEBOB, THAT
WAS WONDERFUL.
IS THAT AN ALL-OVER TAN?
WELL, NOT ALL OF ME.
HOT DOGS!
HOT DOGS!
LOOK AT THAT
HUGE LINE
AT THE HOT
DOG STAND.
ASSERT YOURSELF
TO THE FRONT.
I'LL DO BETTER
THAN THAT.
LET'S GO HOME.
SPONGEBOB, THAT
WAS GENIUS.
LOOK AT ALL
THOSE KITE-FLYERS
BLOCKING YOUR VIEW.
WHAT?!
BREAKING
YOUR WIND.
A-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
( growling )
HEY, SPONGEBOB,
THROW US THE BALL.
( trumpeting )
WHAT DO WE
DO NOW?
LET'S JUST GO HOME,
I GUESS.
HA! PLANKTON, DID YOU SEE THAT?
I WAS A REGULAR ALPHA MALE.
( panting )
PLANKTON?
( engine starting )
HUH?
PLANKTON, ALL MY ASSERTING
HAS DRIVEN EVERYBODY AWAY.
EXACTLY.
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME
EVERYONE WOULD LEAVE.
OOPS.
MEGA BUCKET!
YOU USED ME
FOR LAND DEVELOPMENT.
THAT WASN'T NICE.
HAVEN'T YOU FIGURED
IT OUT, SPONGEBOB?
NICE GUYS FINISH LAST.
ONLY AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE
CONQUER THE WORLD.
( evil laughter )
WELL...
WHAT ABOUT AGGRESSIVELY
NICE PEOPLE?
HUH?
WHAT ARE
YOU DOING?
HOT DOGS! YAY!
( panting )
( cheering )
WAIT. SPONGEBOB, STOP!
BUTTERFLY KISSES.
I... CAN'T TAKE IT.
IT'S TOO CUTE.
IT'S, IT'S DISGUSTING!
WHAT HAPPENED?
I HIT A REEF
WITH MY NEW BOARD, DUDE.
NO PROBLEM.
WHOA!
COLOR!
SPONGEBOB, STOP--
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
YOUR KINDNESS
IS BRINGING EVERYBODY BACK.
GET BACK!
WAIT!
OOH! OUCH! OW! OW!
NO! OOH! OW!
COWABUNGA!
THANKS, DUDE.
THAT WAS AWESOME.
( groaning )
( groaning )
GEE, PLANKTON.
I'M SORRY ABOUT
THE CHUM BUCKET.
FORGET ABOUT THAT.
I JUST CAN'T TAKE SO MUCH
KINDNESS AT ONE SITTING.
NEED... HATRED.
VOLLEYBALL, ANYONE?
All:
YEAH!
SERVICE!
( laughing )
OUCH.
( laughing )
OUCH.
( laughing )
♪ OOH! WHO LIVES
IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB
SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE
IS SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
( country-style
acoustic interlude )
READY?
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
( hearty laughter )
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON
Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]