SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 1, Episode 17 - Arrgh!/Rock Bottom - full transcript

ARE YOU READY, KIDS?

Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!

I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!!

♪ OOH! ♪

♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE
UNDER THE SEA? ♪

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪

♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE ♪

♪ SPONGEBOB
SQUAREPANTS! ♪

♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE
BE SOMETHING YOU WISH ♪

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪



♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH ♪

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
READY?

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪

♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪

( hearty laughter )

( flute playing )

[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON]

WHERE CAN THEY BE?

THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE
HOURS AGO.

ARRGH.

NOT A CUSTOMER IN SIGHT.



IF I DON'T MAKE ANY MONEY TODAY

I'LL SURELY BREAK OUT IN A RASH.

YIPPEE!

I'M RICH.

LOOK, PATRICK, EIGHT
GOLD DOUBLOONS.

WAIT! I SAW IT FIRST!

YAH!

MINE! MINE! HUH?

BOY, MR. KRABS,
YOU SURE ARE SWEATY.

WHAT'S THIS?

WHERE ARE THE DOUBLOONS?

( laughing )

THERE ARE NO REAL
DOUBLOONS, MR. KRABS.

IT'S A GAME.

THE FLYING DUTCHMAN'S
TREASURE HUNT.

BASED ON A REAL TREASURE MAP.

TAKE A BREAK AND
PLAY A ROUND WITH US.

YEAH, COME ON, SWEATY.

YOU FINISHED
CLEANING THE TABLES?

I CLEANED THE TABLES,
MR. KRABS.

AYE, BUT DID YOU SCRAPE

ALL THE GUM OFF THE UNDERSIDE?

I ALREADY TOOK CARE OF IT.

( laughs )

ALL RIGHT, LADS.

LOOKS LIKE YOU'VE SHANGHAIED ME.

MY TURN.

FIVE.

( blows raspberry )

"ONE OF YOUR SHIPMATES HAS BEEN
A BAD PIRATE.

SEND HIM TO THE BRIG!"

HMM...

IT'S OFF TO JAIL
FOR YOU MR. KRABS.

PATRICK, YOU'RE FIRED.

BUT I DON'T EVEN WORK HERE.

WOULD YOU LIKE A
JOB, STARTING NOW?

BOY, WOULD I!?

YOU'RE FIRED.

MY TURN.

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.

"LOOK FOR THE DEACON'S GOOSE

THRU THE FORK IN THE OLD TREE
AND HEAD THAT WAY."

WELL, I SEE MR. KRABS'
ZIPPER IS UNDONE.

SHIVER ME TIMBERS.

( laughing ):
JUST KIDDING, MR. KRABS.

I'M ALMOST TO
THE TREASURE.

YOUR TURN AGAIN,
MR. KRABS.

I HOPE.

FISHEYES.

ONE, TWO.

"YOU ARE A REAL PIRATE.

"GO STRAIGHT TO THE 'X'

WHICH MARKS THE SPOT."

YOU GET TO DIG
FOR TREASURE.

TREASURE?

THERE IT IS.

IT'S THE FLYING
DUTCHMAN'S TREASURE.

GOLD, GOLD, GOLD.
MINE, MINE, MINE!

HEY! MR. KRABS IS GETTING
ALL SWEATY AGAIN.

REV UP THOSE FRYERS, 'CAUSE I
AM SURE HUNGRY FOR ONE....

HELP. HELP.

MY LEG!

CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE CLOSED?

READY FOR ANOTHER ROUND?

THIS IS MY KIND
OF GAME.

HOORAY!

SIX. ONE, TWO...

I WIN AGAIN!

OH, THAT'S 17 TIMES IN A ROW.

I THINK WE OUGHT TO CALL
IT A NIGHT, MR. KRABS.

I REALLY GOT TO GET SOME SLEEP.

OH, YOU CAN'T WALK OUT
ON ME NOW.

I'M SORRY, MR. KRABS.

SEE YOU TOMORROW.

HUH? WHO'S THERE?

COME ON, SPONGEBOB.

ONE MORE GAME.

I CAN SMELL
THE TREASURE.

MR. KRABS, IT'S LATE.

GO TO BED.

GOOD NIGHT, MR. KRABS.

THE WIND IS PERFECT,
THE TIDE IS RIGHT.

LET'S HUNT FOR TREASURE.

MR. KRABS, YOU GOT...

TREAD SOFTLY, LAD.

IF THE DUTCHMAN HEARS YOU

WE'LL NEVER GET HIS TREASURE.

BUT, MR. KRABS...

I'LL ROLL
FOR YOU, BOY.
BUT, MISTER...

EIGHT PACES NORTH.

THAT'S A GOOD
START, LAD.
BUT, MISTER...

ONE, TWO, THREE...

MR. KRABS!

I WANT TO GO TO BED!

MR. KRABS, I'M SORRY, BUT--
IT'S JUST A GAME, YOU KNOW?

A GAME. THAT'S RIGHT.

OF COURSE IT IS.

MY MISTAKE.

I GUESS I GOT A LITTLE
CARRIED AWAY, EH?

THOUGH IT IS TREASURE
WE'RE DEALING WITH HERE.

SORRY FOR DISTURBING
YOU, LAD.

AVAST!

PINEAPPLE HO!

HEAVE TO AND PREPARE
TO BE BOARDED!

OH, GO HOME ALREADY.

I'M DONE PLAYING THAT GAME,
MR. KRABS.

THAT'S CAPTAIN
KRABS TO YOU

AND THIS IS NO GAME.

WE'RE GOING TO BE PIRATES.

PIRATES?

AYE!

HOW'D YOU LIKE TO GO
ON A REAL TREASURE HUNT?

WITH A REAL TREASURE MAP?

TREASURE?
TREASURE?

♪ WE'RE GONNA BE PIRATES! ♪

♪ WE'RE GONNA BE PIRATES! ♪

HEY, HEY,
BELAY THAT SKIPPING.

PIRATES DON'T SKIP.

PUT ON THIS PIRATE GARB

SO I WON'T BE EMBARRASSED
TO BE SEEN WITH YOU.

ARRGH.

OH, PATRICK, LOOK.

PEG LEGS AND EYE PATCHES.

NOW, DON'T YOU FEEL
MORE LIKE PIRATES?

LOOK, I'M PEGGY THE PIRATE.

UH, OH...

I'M BLINDBEARD,
THE PIRATE.

OOP. OW!

ARRGH.

KEEP A SHARP
LOOKOUT, SPONGEBOB.

ACCORDING TO THE MAP

WE'RE CLOSE
TO THE FIRST LANDMARK.

REALLY?

CAN WE SEE THE MAP?

UH... NO.

ONLY THE CAPTAIN
CAN LAY EYES ON THE MAP.

OKEYDOKEY, THEN.

ARRGH.

A PIRATE DOESN'T
SAY "OKEYDOKEY, THEN."

I PIRATE SAYS, "ARRGH."

OH, OKEY... OOP. HA-HA-HA.

I MEAN...
ARRGH, CAPTAIN KRABS.

CAPTAIN, WE'RE ABOUT TO HIT...

I MEAN... ARRGH, CAPT... UH,
WE'RE ARRGH, ABOUT ARRGH...

TO HIT, ARRGH...

OUT WITH IT, MAN. ARRGH.

I, ARRGH, THINK, ARRGH

HE'S TRYING, ARRGH
TO SAY, ARRGH...

LAND.

ARRGH.

FROM NOW ON,
ONLY THE CAPTAIN SAYS, "ARRGH."

STATUS REPORT, MR. SQUAREPANTS.

THE WHOLE SHIP
IS UNDERWATER, CAPTAIN.

ARRGH.

WE'RE MAROONED, THEN.

OUR TREASURE HUNT WILL HAVE
TO CONTINUE ON FOOT.

THIS IS
IT, BOYS.

"FROM THE SEAWEED
WITH TWO LEAVES ON IT

10,000 PACES EAST."

BUT, MR. KRABS,
THAT SEAWEED HAS...

WHICH WAY,
CAP'N?

ENSIGN PATRICK,
WHICH WAY IS EAST?

UH... LET'S SEE.

THAT WAY, CAP'N.

9,997....

9,998...

9,999...

10,000.

WHERE'S THE "X"?

IT'S SUPPOSED TO
BE RIGHT HERE.

10,000 PACES EAST.

OH... EAST?

I THOUGHT YOU SAID "WEAST."

"WEAST"? WHAT
KIND OF COMPASS

ARE YOU READING, LAD?

THIS ONE, SIR.

THAT'S WEST, PATRICK.

YOU'RE FIRED AGAIN.

9,551...

9,552...

MR. KRABS...

WE'RE TIRED.

AND HUNGRY.

OH. SO THIS IS MY CREW?

YOU GET A LITTLE TIRED
AND A WEE BIT HUNGRY...

AND YOU WANT
TO SHOVE OFF FOR HOME.

ARRGH. THAT SICKENS ME.

A PIRATE IS NOT JUDGED
BY THE NOTCHES IN HIS CUTLASS

OR THE SIZE OF HIS BOOTY.

A PIRATE IS JUDGED
BY THE LOYALTY OF HIS CREW

AND WITHOUT
A LOYAL CREW

WHAT AM I CAPTAIN OF?

JUST A BUNCH OF SAND.

( sobs )

DON'T CRY,
CAPTAIN KRABS.

YEAH, WE'LL BE
YOUR LOYAL CREW.

( both sobbing )

YOU'LL STAY WITH ME, THEN?

Both:
WE'LL BE THE MOST LOYAL
PIRATE CREW EVER!

I KNEW I COULD
COUNT ON YOU, BOYS.

ONE FOR ALL...

AND ALL
FOR ONE!

I'M SO LOYAL

I DON'T EVEN MIND SLEEPING
ON THE COLD, HARD GROUND

WHILE CAPTAIN KRABS
SLEEPS IN HIS WARM, DRY TENT.

I'M SO LOYAL

I HAVEN'T
BATHED IN WEEKS.

BUT WE'VE ONLY BEEN OUT
FOR A FEW HOURS.

I KNOW...

( snickering )

I'M SO LOYAL,
I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP

TILL WE FIND
THE TREASURE.

LET'S SEE IF THE
CAPTAIN'LL GO NOW.

CAPTAIN KRABS!

HE'S NOT HERE.

LOOK.

THE TREASURE MAP.

ONLY THE CAPTAIN CAN
LOOK AT THE MAP, PATRICK.

YEAH.

PATRICK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NOTHING.

PATRICK, YOU'RE
NOT SUPPOSED

TO LOOK AT THE MAP.

I'M NOT LOOKING,
I'M TOUCHING.

THERE'S NO RULE
AGAINST THAT, IS THERE?

NO, GUESS
THERE ISN'T.

( squeaking )

OOPS. PATRICK, IT
OPENED BY ITSELF.

( both laughing )

( chattering )

SPONGEBOB.

YEAH?

DID YOU NOTICE SOMETHING
FAMILIAR ABOUT THIS MAP?

YOU MEAN LIKE THAT IT'S OUR GAME
BOARD TAPED TO A PIECE OF PAPER?

DO YOU THINK THIS
IS A PROBLEM?

( crew yelling )

SNEAKING PEEKS
AT ME TREASURE MAP.

THAT'S MUTINY
ON MY SHIP.

SO YOU THINK OL'
CAPTAIN KRABS HAS
GONE CRAZY, DO YE?

NOT AT ALL, CAP'N KRABS.

WE DON'T THINK
THAT AT ALL.

I THINK THAT.

I'M GOING TO THROW YOU OVERBOARD
FOR SAYING THAT.

( gibbering )

OH, LOOK.

IT'S THE "X."

X MARKS THE SPOT.

WOW. THAT GAME REALLY IS

BASED ON A REAL TREASURE MAP.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING
FOR LADS? DIG! DIG!!

DIG, DIG, DIG, DIG,
DIG, DIG, DIG, DIG.

WE'VE GOT IT,
CAP'N KRABS.

HA-HA. HAND IT UP TO ME, LADS.

HEAVE!

WE'VE FINALLY FOUND IT.

♪ THE DUTCHMAN'S TREASURE. ♪

WOW.
WOW.

WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO

WITH YOUR SHARE,
PATRICK?

I DON'T KNOW.

HOW ARE YOU
GOING TO SPEND

YOUR SHARE,
SPONGEBOB?

WHAT SHARES?

YOU'RE NOT GETTING
ANY OF MY TREASURE.

WE FOUND IT TOGETHER

SO WE DESERVE A SHARE.

WELL, I'M THE CAPTAIN

AND I SAY IT'S MINE.

WHAT ABOUT LOYALTY?

ALL FOR ONE.

AND ONE FOR ALL.

ALL FOR ONE.

...AND ONE FOR ALL.

ALL FOR ONE.

I'M THE FLYING DUTCHMAN.

I'M THE FLYING DUTCHMAN.

WHO DARES WAKE
THE FLYING DUTCHMAN?

KEEP IT DOWN, WILL YOU!

I'M TRYING TO GET
SOME SLEEP. UH.

ALL FOR ONE.

ONE FOR ALL.

( thunderclap )

WHO DUG UP THE
DUTCHMAN'S TREASURE?

THEY DID!

ARRGH.

SO YOU TWO SCALLYWAGS
DUG UP ME TREASURE.

WELL, YOU SAVED ME
A LOT OF DIGGING, YOU DID.

SO HERE'S A REWARD
FOR THE TWO OF YOUS.

WOW.

♪ TWO GOLD DOUBLOONS. ♪

WAIT!

I'M CAPTAIN OF THIS CREW.

WHERE'S MY REWARD?

HMM. I GUESS
YOU'RE RIGHT.

A LITTLE SOMETHING
FOR YOUR TROUBLE.

GOLD, GOLD, GOLD, GOLD.

HUH? WELL, IT'S JUST A LITTLE
PLASTIC TREASURE CHEST.

♪ PLASTIC! ♪

AYE, BUT IT'S BASED ON
A REAL TREASURE CHEST.

( loud laughter )

GEE, MR. KRABS, YOU'RE LOOKING
ALL SWEATY AGAIN.

ANOTHER FUN-TASTIC DAY
AT GLOVE WORLD.

( grunting )

( clearing throat )

LET ME GET MY WALLET.

( grunting )

WAIT, LET ME CHECK...

( grunting )

NO...

PATRICK, DO YOU HAVE
ANY CHANGE?

HOW MUCH
DO YOU NEED?

HOW MUCH IS IT?

50 CENTS.

50 CENTS.

Spongebob:
LET ME CHECK...

FORGET IT.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

JUST TAKE
YOUR SEAT!

THANKS, MISTER.

YEAH, WHATEV...

( snoring )

SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT
AT GLOVE WORLD.

OKAY, HERE'S
MY GLOVE LIGHT.

WOW.

I SEE YOU.

( both laughing )

I GOT GLOVES FOR MY
GLOVE ACTION FIGURE.

COOL!

HEY, SPONGEBOB.

YEAH, PATRICK?

WHERE'S "LEAVING
BIKINI BOTTOM"?

WHERE DID YOU
SEE THAT?

WE JUST PASSED
THE SIGN.

"YOU ARE NOW IN
LEAVING BIKINI BOTTOM."

OH!

WHAT?

WHAT'S WRONG,
SPONGEBOB?

PATRICK, I THINK WE'RE ON
THE WRONG

BUS!

BUS!

( teeth chattering )

WHOA!

( chuckling )

BUT, SIR, WE NEED
TO GET BACK TO
BIKINI BOTTOM.

OH, WELL.

( tires screeching )

WHERE IS THIS,
SPONGEBOB?

Spongebob:
"ROCK BOTTOM."

IT SURE IS WEIRD
AROUND HERE.

KIND OF DIFFERENT.

EVEN THE SOIL
LOOKS DIFFERENT.

WOULD YOU... ( raspberry )

MIND... ( raspberry )

PUTTING ME DOWN?

( gasping )

BOB, I DON'T LIKE IT HERE.

IT'S DARK AND SCARY.

I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE.

I WANT TO GO HOME!

LOOK! I-I CAN'T EVEN TELL
THE BATHROOMS APART!

( toilet flushing )

UH... THAT'S AN
EASY ONE, PATRICK.

UH, JUST WAIT FOR
SOMEONE TO COME OUT

AND THEN YOU'LL KNOW.

( groaning )

( gasping )

MAYBE WE SHOULD
WAIT FOR ONE MORE.

UGH.
OOH.

OOH.
EEE.

( both gasping )

OH.
AAH!

I STILL CAN'T
READ THE SIGN.

I WANT TO GO HOME!

UH... UH... OKAY.

YOU WAIT FOR THE BUS,
CALL ME IF IT COMES

I'M GOING TO GET
A BUS SCHEDULE.

BOY, THIS PLACE
SURE IS CREEPY.

HEY, SPONGEBOB!

BUS IS HERE!

( panting )

( crying )

SPONGEBOB!

( panting and gasping )

( sighs )

WELL, I GUESS GRANDPA
SQUAREPANTS WAS RIGHT--

"DON'T RUN FOR A BUS...

( elderly voice ):
ESPECIALLY ONE THAT'S GOING UP
AT A 90-DEGREE ANGLE."

I'D BETTER GO WAIT
FOR THE NEXT ONE.

COME ON, BUS!

I GOT TO GET HOME
AND FEED GARY!

UH-OH. SHOE'S UNTIED.

UNDER...

AND OVER...

AND LOOP-DE-LOOP...

AND OVER... AND...

THROUGH THE BELL.

WAIT!

( wind whistling )

MY BALLOON!

( panting and grunting )

WAIT!

HOLD ON!

STOP THAT BUS!

AW, NOT AGAIN!

UM, EXCUSE ME, SIR.

CAN YOU HELP ME?

( raspberry )

UH... UH, YEAH, I...

NO... NO!

NOT THE BALLOON!

I NEED TO KNOW
WHEN THE NEXT BUS COMES.

( screaming and panting )

WELL, THERE GOES ANOTHER ONE.

I GOT TO BE MORE DILIGENT.

I AM NOT LEAVING THIS SPOT
NO MATTER WHAT!

( stomach growling )

GETTING HUNGRY.

GLOVE CANDY DISPENSER.

GOOD THING I WENT
TO GLOVE WORLD.

AH, AH, AH-AH-AH.

( chewing loudly )

EW! GLOVE-FLAVORED!

HEY! WHAT'S THAT?

CANDY MACHINE.

MMM.

KELP NUGGET CRUNCH.

MMM.

( wind whistling )

I'M NOT LEAVING THIS SPOT
NO MATTER WHAT!

( stomach growling )

I'LL ONLY BE GONE A SECOND.

HEY!

( frustrated grunt )

( stomach growling )

WAIT!

COME ON, COME ON!

( frustrated grunt )

( bus engine revving )

( laughing )

( frustrated grunt )

HEY!

THAT WAS MINE!

BARNACLES!

ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT!

NO MORE MR. NICE GUY!

TARTAR SAUCE!

FISH FACE!

I'M GETTING TO THE BOTTOM
OF THIS RIGHT NOW!

I WANT A BUS
TO BIKINI BOTTOM!

I AM FIRST IN LINE

AND NO ONE IS GOING
TO TELL ME OTHERWISE!

( bubbly growling )

OKAY, SECOND.

I AM SECOND IN LINE.

( fierce growling )

OKAY, THIRD IS GOOD!

( screeching )

FOURTH, NOT BAD.

( panting )

OKAY... 329.

I AM 329th IN LINE

AND NOBODY
FORGET IT.

( raspberry )

( groaning )

Ticket agent:
NEXT ( raspberry ).

WELL, AT LEAST
THE LINE IS MOVING.

( raspberries )

( angry grunt )

TARTAR SAUCE!

( angry sputtering )

( raspberry ) NEXT.

( raspberry ) NEXT.

( snoring )

( raspberry ) NEXT.

( raspberry ) NEXT!

HUH?

NEXT? ( raspberry )

FINALLY--
YES, I'M NEXT!

WHEN IS THE NEXT BUS
TO BIKINI BOTTOM?

WHAT ( raspberry )?

THE BUS SCHEDULE.
THE NEXT BUS.

I CAN'T... ( raspberry )

UNDERSTAND... ( raspberry )

YOUR ACCENT ( raspberry ).

THE NEXT BUS... ( raspberry )

TO BIKINI... ( raspberry )

BOTTOM ( raspberry ).

OH... ( raspberry )

WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO
( raspberry )?

NEXT BUS LEAVES
IN ( raspberry )
FIVE SECONDS.

OOH, TOUGH LUCK, KID
( raspberry ).

THAT'S THE LAST ONE
TILL MORNING.

( raspberry )

OH, ( raspberry ) NO,
( raspberry ) YOU DON'T!

( raspberry )

GOOD NIGHT
( raspberry ).

HOLD IT!

I'M NOT THROUGH HERE
( raspberry ).

DO YOU HEAR ME
( raspberry )?

I DEMAND YOU COME BACK

AND GET ME A BUS
TO BIKINI BOTTOM RIGHT NOW!

UNTIL THEN, I AM NOT
LEAVING THIS SPOT!

( raspberries )

UH...

( giggling )

OKAY, LIKE I SAID

I'LL BE RIGHT HERE
WHEN YOU GET BACK...

AT THIS SPOT...

IN THE DARK.

BY MYSELF.

WITH NO ONE AROUND.

EXCEPT MY GLOVE LIGHT!

AH, THAT'S BETTER.

( sparking and raspberry )

THIS ISN'T YOUR AVERAGE
EVERYDAY DARKNESS.

THIS IS...

ADVANCED DARKNESS.

HEY, IF I CLOSE MY EYES
IT DOESN'T SEEM SO DARK.

( distant
raspberry )

( raspberry )
WHO'S THERE?

WELL, I GUESS THAT SPOT
WILL BE THERE TOMORROW.

I THINK I'D BETTER
JUST KEEP WALKING.

( raspberry )

RUNNING.
BETTER START RUNNING

RUNNING, RUNNING.

( raspberry )

SPRINTING! YES!

I JUST GOT TO KEEP SPRINTING!

SITTING...

SITTING... BLEEDING.

HEY...

WHO'S THERE?

( raspberry )

OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH.

( raspberry )

DON'T COME CLOSER!

( raspberry )

I'M WARNING YOU!

( raspberry )

I'M A SPONGE!

( screaming )

( raspberry )

OH, IT'S ONLY YOU.

WELL, THAT SOLVES
MY BALLOON PROBLEM

BUT I'VE GOT
A BIGGER PROBLEM--

I'M KIND OF STUCK HERE.

I NEED TO CATCH A BUS
TO GET HOME.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
A WORD I'M SAYING, DO YOU?

BALLOON ( raspberry )
HAS ( raspberry )

ENOUGH ( raspberry )
AIR ( raspberry )
THANKS ( raspberry ).

( raspberries )

HEY, I GET IT.

BALLOON TRAVEL.

THANK ( raspberry )
YOU ( raspberry ).

YOU'RE WELCOME.

AH, HOME AT LAST.

DON'T WORRY,
SPONGEBOB

I'M COMING BACK FOR YOU!

[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

and NICKELODEON

Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]