SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 1, Episode 14 - SB-129/Karate Choppers - full transcript
Squidward accidentally travels through time. / Mr. Krabs bans SpongeBob from doing karate.
ARE YOU READY, KIDS?
Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
( louder ):
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
♪ OH... ♪
♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE
UNDER THE SEA? ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE
SOMETHING YOU WISH... ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ READY?
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
( laughs heartily )
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
( plays airy tune )
and NICKELODEON]
( with French accent ):
AH, IT IS SUNDAY MORNING
IN BIKINI BOTTOM
AND IT IS ABOUT TIME
FOR SQUIDWARD TO PRACTICE
HIS CLARINET.
SO GET YOUR EARPLUGS READY.
MMM...
( smacks loudly )
I THINK I'LL TREAT
BIKINI BOTTOM
TO SOME REAL MUSIC.
( snoring )
( Gary meows )
( blasting )
OW!
( horn continues blowing )
GOOD MORNING,
SQUIDWARD!
WANT TO GO
JELLYFISHING?
( squeaking )
HOORAY!
WE'LL BE
RIGHT OVER.
( squeaking )
( grumbling )
( knock at door )
I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE.
READY TO GO?
NO, I'M NOT
READY TO GO!
HE DOESN'T WANT
TO PLAY WITH US.
NO, PATRICK,
HE'S JUST NOT READY.
( knock at door )
READY NOW?
NO!
( knock at door )
( grumbling )
HOW ABOUT NOW?
NO!
HUH?
( knock )
NOW?
NO!
( knock )
NOW?
NO!
HOW ABOUT NOW?
NO!
NO!
NOW?
NOW?
NO!
NO!
NOW?
NO!
WHAT?!
READY YET?
NO, I'M NOT READY!
I'LL NEVER BE READY.
DON'T YOU GET IT?
SURE, WE DO.
WHAT?
( mumbling )
READY?
( smack )
OUT! JEESH!
SHOULDN'T YOU BE
AT WORK TODAY,
SPONGEBOB?
I'D LOVE TO BE AT WORK TODAY.
BUT IT'S SUNDAY.
THE KRUSTY KRAB IS CLOSED.
HOLD ON A SECOND.
I'LL BE RIGHT OUT.
HELLO?
( silence )
AH! ALONE AT LAST!
( inhales deeply )
SpongeBob and Patrick:
SQUIDWARD!
SQUIDWARD!
SQUIDWARD!
( wind howling )
SQUIDWARD!
OH, SQUIDWARD!
SQUIDWARD?!
WELL, HE'S NOT HERE.
I'LL BET THAT
EAGER BEAVER'S
ALREADY DOWN
AT JELLYFISH FIELDS.
AHA! THEY'RE FINALLY GONE.
WHAT THE...?
LOCKED?
OH, NO!
OH, WELL,
SOMEONE WILL REALIZE I'M GONE
AND COME LOOKING FOR ME.
I'LL BE OUT OF HERE IN NO TIME.
( computer beeping )
HOLY KRABBY PATTIES!
A FROZEN CEPHALOPOD.
( zapping )
( screaming )
( trancelike ):
I'LL BE OUT OF HERE IN NO TIME.
GREETINGS, PRIMITIVE.
SP... SPONGEBOB?
IS THAT YOU?
SPONGEBOB?
NO!
Mechanized voice:
I am SpongeTron.
WELCOME
TO THE FUTURE.
WHAT?
WELCOME TO THE FUTURE.
UH... THE FUTURE?
HUH?
( electronic pulsing )
OKAY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
WHY IS EVERYTHING CHROME?
EVERYTHING IS CHROME
IN THE FUTURE.
WHA... UH... UH...
OH, MY!
IMPOSSIBLE!
HE'S LYING!
( squeaking )
( tires squeal )
HE'S RIGHT!
SpongeTron:
OF COURSE I'M
RIGHT, SQUIDWARD.
JUST ASK MY CLONES--
SPONGETRONS X, Y AND Z.
ARE THE... OTHER LETTERS
OF THE ALPHABET INVOLVED HERE?
SURE-- ALL 486 OF THEM.
FUTURE!
FUTURE!
FUTURE!
FUTURE!
THANKS.
NOW, LISTEN.
ALL OF YOU!
I DON'T BELONG HERE.
THIS IS ALL
A HORRIBLE MISTAKE.
PLEASE, WE'VE GOT
TO DO SOMETHING!
All:
JELLYFISHING!
( loud static )
DID SOMEBODY SAY "JELLYFISHING"?
HI, PAT-TRON!
J-JUST LISTEN TO ME.
I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.
I'VE GOT TO GET HOME
TO MY OWN TIME PERIOD.
I GOT TO GO!
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST ASK?
THE TIME MACHINE IS
DOWN THE HALL, TO THE LEFT.
( laughing gleefully )
( machine humming loudly )
SpongeTron:
OOPS!
OH, YEAH,
THAT ONE'S THE CAN OPENER.
BUT TRY THE ONE
ON THE RIGHT.
WELL, I WOULDN'T HAVE CHOSEN
THIS INTERIOR.
OH, WHAT'S THIS?
WELL, IF SPONGEBOB
EXISTS IN THE FUTURE
I'D BETTER GO TO THE PAST.
( siren beeping )
WOW!
PRIMITIVE.
HAS SORT OF AN OLD-WORLD CHARM.
WHOA!
I GUESS THIS IS BEFORE
MANNERS WERE INVENTED!
WELL, AT LEAST THERE'S
NO SIGN OF SPONGEBRAT.
MAYBE NOW I CAN FINALLY
BE ALONE WITH MY CLARINET.
( rustling nearby )
( bang )
( whoosh )
HUH?
WHAT?
HUH?
( screams )
( chomping )
SPONGEBOB?
( yells )
STAY BACK!
( sniffing )
UH, NO THANKS.
( heavy breathing
nearby )
UH... HI THERE.
WELL, I BETTER BE GOING NOW.
( hooting like monkey )
YES, THAT'S MY ARM.
OH, THAT'S SWEET.
( bellowing )
WHAT, IS IT TIME
FOR YOUR FLEA BATH NOW?
( bones rattling )
OH, IT'S JUST
A LITTLE JELLYFISH.
( yelling frantically )
( hooting in alarm )
WELL, I'M GOING AWAY NOW.
AH!
HERE'S A NICE, SHADY SPOT,
AWAY FROM THOSE FOOLS.
( inhales deeply )
( SpongeBob
hooting )
( Patrick
bellowing )
( SpongeBob
screaming )
( zap )
( howling )
( zap )
( yelling )
WHAT ARE YOU
SIMPLETONS DOING?!
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO CATCH THESE THINGS--
NOT TORTURE YOURSELF
WITH THEM.
GIVE ME
THOSE LOINCLOTHS!
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
( mumbling )
THIS OUGHT
TO MAKE THINGS GO
A LITTLE SMOOTHER.
( whimpering )
GIVE ME THOSE THINGS!
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO CATCH THEM-- LIKE THIS.
IT'S CALLED JELLYFISHING.
( both grunting
stupidly )
AH, FINALLY!
( inhales deeply )
( playing squeaky tune )
( yelling angrily )
( screams )
GET ME OUT OF HERE.
UH-OH.
Machine voice:
Loser.
( bellowing wildly )
( electronic whirring )
( alarm beeping )
( electronic zap )
( voice echoing eerily )
( squeaking )
HE'S NOT HERE.
NO MORE SPONGEBOB.
NO MORE!
I MAY FINALLY HAVE FOUND
A PLACE WHERE I CAN BE ALL...
ALONE!
Various voices:
ALONE... ALONE... ALONE...
( voices echoing )
I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!
( panting )
( voices echoing eerily )
WHERE'S THE TIME MACHINE?!
WHERE'S ANYTHING?
WHERE, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE...!
I WANT TO GO HOME.
I WANT TO GO HOME.
I WANT TO GO HOME.
I WANT TO GO HOME.
I MISS BIKINI BOTTOM.
I MISS MY EASTER ISLAND HEAD.
I EVEN MISS SPONGEBOB.
SPONGEBOB! PATRICK!
Both:
HI, SQUIDWARD.
OH, I'M BACK!
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
I-I-I WAS IN SPACE
AND I WENT TO THE FUTURE
AND THEN I WENT TO THE PAST,
AND THEN I WAS NOWHERE
BUT NOW I'M BACK
AND YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW HAPPY I AM
TO SEE YOU GUYS.
DOES THIS MEAN
YOU WANT TO GO...
Both:
JELLYFISHING?!
NO!
D'OH!
WHO'S THE BARNACLEHEAD
WHO INVENTED
THAT GAME, ANYWAY?
Both:
YOU ARE, SQUIDWARD.
( Patrick and SpongeBob
laughing )
Squidward.
I'M GOING BACK.
( whacks )
( yells )
KIAI!
OH, SORRY, PINEAPPLE HOUSE.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE SOMEONE ELSE.
AH! WHAT A GREAT DAY AT WORK.
( clattering
nearby )
YEAH!
( footsteps quacking )
( groaning )
I KNOW YOU'RE BACK THERE, SANDY.
AND I ALSO KNOW THAT
NOBODY CAN HIDE FROM SPONGE...
BOB.
I GOT YOU NOW!
KIAI!
WELL, I GUESS
THE COAST IS CLEAR.
Yeah, shopping's weird.
Did you ever go
into the seafood aisle
and say, "Who eats this stuff?"
( laughing )
I LOVE THIS SHOW!
ME, TOO.
( screams )
( karate yelling )
UH, JUST A SECOND.
SAFETY FIRST.
AND NOW,
SPIN TECHNIQUE.
( yelling )
( yells )
DOUBLE OVERHAND
SQUIRREL KNOT.
( bowling ball rumbling,
striking pins )
I'M GOING TO GET YOU
TOMORROW, SPONGEBOB.
THAT'LL BE THE DAY.
WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP,
WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP...
( humming to herself )
( phone cuckooing )
HELLO.
KIAI! KIAI!
NICE TRY, SPONGEBRAIN.
( yells )
HEY, SANDY,
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE ONE
ABOUT THE SQUIRREL
AND THE TIN CANS?
UH, DON'T THINK SO.
WELL, IT GOES LIKE THIS.
OH, WAIT, I FORGOT
THE PUNCH LINE.
( screeches )
OH, YEAH.
( laughing )
THAT'S A GOOD ONE, ISN'T IT?
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY.
BEAUTIFUL SKY, BEAUTIFUL PLANTS.
HI, PLANTS.
BEAUTIFUL...
PILE OF CANS.
MMM-MMM.
SANDY, THAT IS YOUR
WORST DISGUISE YET.
NO, IT'S NOT,
SPONGEBOB.
THIS IS.
NOW, PREPARE
FOR A LONG,
MERCILESS WHOOPING.
MMM, MMM.
MY FAVORITE.
( laughing evilly )
BY THE POWERS OF NAUGHTINESS
I COMMAND THIS PARTICULAR
DROP OF HOT SAUCE
TO BE REALLY, REALLY HOT!
THANDY, WAIT!
VICTORY IS YOURTH.
I KNEW YOU'D COME
TO YOUR SENSES, SPONGEBOB.
WHOA!
KIAI!
CURSES...!
Exasperated customer:
OH, WHAT IS GOING ON?!
WITH EXTRA CHEESE,
TO GO.
THREE PATTIES,
FOUR LARGE OYSTER SKINS
ON THE DOUBLE, SPONGEBOB.
OH, YEAH.
GOT YOU!
SPONGEBOB...
I'M GOING TO PRETEND
THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
NOW, FILL THESE ORDERS
OR LEAVE, SPONGEBOB.
WE'RE VERY BUSY TODAY.
ORDER... OH!
( fly buzzing )
AH...
SPONGEBOB, NOW,
ARE YOU GOING TO...
Mr. Krabs:
OH, SQUIDWARD
I WAS GOING
THROUGH SOME RECORDS
BACK IN ME OFFICE,
AND... HUH?
SO, YOU GOT THE
HAIRPIECE AFTER ALL.
( SpongeBob yelling )
THOUGHT YOU COULD
SNEAK UP ON ME
AT WORK, DID YOU?
WELL, YOU CAN'T
BECAUSE
I'M FAST, I'M MEAN
AND I CAN DO THIS.
SSS!
TOOK CARE OF HER,
YES, I DID.
OH! AHOY, SIR.
WHAT WAS THAT?
BUT SIR,
SHE SNUCK UP ON ME.
IN MY OWN DOJO.
ARE YOU ON SOME NEW
ALLERGY MEDICATION, BOY?
NO, SIR, JUST PRACTICING
MY KARATE, SIR--
OR KARA-TAY, AS SOME CALL IT.
"KARA-TAY"?
YOU SHOULD BE MAKING ME
MONEY-AY
WITH YOUR SPATU-LAY.
NOW, GET BACK TO WORK.
AY-AY, CAPITAY.
NICE HAIRPIECE,
SQUIDWARD.
SPONGEBOB, DID YOU GET
THOSE BATHROOMS MOPPED YET?
YES, MA'AM... I MEAN SIR
I MEAN BOSS,
I MEAN POOH-BAH.
D'OH!
( someone sneezes )
HA!
SANDY!
NO MORE.
BUT MR. KRABS...
SHH!
NO MORE OF THIS
KARATE STUFF, LAD
OR YOU'RE FIRED.
( in high voice ):
FIRED?
NO MORE KARATE?
HOW AM I GOING TO TELL SANDY?
KI...AI!
I CAN'T.
MR. KRABS SAID I HAVE
TO GIVE UP KARATE.
UH-HUH,
SURE, SPONGEBOB.
NO, REALLY, SANDY, STOP.
I'M NOT
FALLING FOR IT,
SPONGEBOB.
NO, REALLY!
PLEASE STOP.
WHAT THE...
SPONGEBOB!
( screams )
MR. KRABS.
WHAT DID I JUST GET THROUGH
TELLING YOU, LAD?
BUT, I... SHE...
SPONGEBOB, YOU'RE FIRED!
HUH?
FIRED?
HEY?
SPONGEBOB?
( starts sobbing )
( bawling )
WAIT-- MR. KRABS,
IT'S NOT HIS FAULT.
IT'S MINE.
HE TRIED TO TELL ME,
BUT I WOULDN'T LISTEN.
GIVE HIM ANOTHER
CHANCE... PLEASE?
HMM.
ALL RIGHT, ME BOY.
I'LL GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE.
BUT NO MORE KARATE.
IT'S POISONING
YOUR MIND.
( sniffs )
MMM, MAMMALS.
AW, SHOOT, SPONGEBOB.
I GUESS YOU
AIN'T FIBBING.
( both sigh )
AW... THAT GAME WAS
GETTING OLD, ANYWAY.
IT'S NOT FUN ANYMORE.
I MEAN, WHAT'S
SO FUN ABOUT... THIS?
( laughing )
NOTHING!
NOTHING IS FUN
ABOUT THAT AT ALL.
WE CAN FIND
SOMETHING TO DO
THAT'S AT LEAST
NINE TIMES AS FUN.
WE CAN?
I MEAN... SURE WE CAN.
YEAH!
LIKE WE CAN, UH...
WE CAN SQUEEZE THINGS.
( grunting and groaning )
WHOO-HOO!
HOW MUCH FUN WAS THAT?
ALMOST SOME.
I KNOW.
WE CAN ACT LIKE PLANTS.
PHOTOSYNTHESIS.
PHOTOSYNTHESIS.
WANT TO GO
TO THE PARK?
KARATE
SURE IS DUMB.
YEAH, YOU CAN
SAY THAT AGAIN.
I FEEL DUMB JUST
THINKING ABOUT IT.
DUH... I'M STUPID.
I LIKE KARATE.
DOY...
YOU LIKE WHAT?
NOT KARATE.
HA! I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT ANYTHING IS.
IN FACT...
Man:
KIAI!
KIAI!
( giggling )
FOR A SECOND,
THAT SOUNDED LIKE...
KARATE?
RIGHT NOW?
I MEAN... NO,
WHAT IS THIS KARATE?
UH, WHAT DO YOU WANT
ON YOUR SANDWICH?
KARATE.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
UH, MUSTARD--
MUSTARD.
I WANT MUSTARD
ON MY SANDWICH.
THERE WE GO.
HOW MANY SLICES
OF BARNACLE LOAF DO YOU WANT?
ONE... JUST ONE.
ONE FOR YOU...
HMM?
AND ONE FOR ME!
OH, UH...
SPONGEBOB?
MAYBE JUST ONE MORE.
I'M KIND OF HUNGRY.
SURE THING, SANDY.
SPONGEBOB?
DO YOU THINK, UM...
DO YOU THINK
I COULD CUT THIS ONE?
UH, SURE.
THANKS.
( yells )
IS THAT ENOUGH?
MAYBE JUST ONE MORE.
OR TWO.
OR THREE.
OR TEN.
TEN, YES, TEN!
BECAUSE WE'RE REALLY HUNGRY.
RIGHT!
RIGHT!
RIGHT!
RIGHT!
TIME FOR BUNS!
( yelling )
HOW ABOUT
SOME TOMATOES?
AND I'LL
CUT THE CHEESE.
( both yell )
AND WHAT ELSE?
MORE BUNS!
AND LETTUCE!
YEAH!
YEAH!
( chopping frantically )
( panting )
MAKING SANDWICHES SURE IS FUN.
RIGHT, SANDY?
RIGHT?
I GUESS I'LL EAT ONE NOW.
YOU'RE MINCEMEAT.
IN YOUR DREAMS!
( both yelling and shouting )
HUH? WHAT THE BARNACLE...?
DO YOU THINK
MR. KRABS EVER DOES KARATE?
( clears his throat )
( screams )
MR. KRABS!
UH, HEY, MR. KRABS,
HOW'S IT GOING?
NICE DAY, HUH?
OH, ALL RIGHT, MR. KRABS,
YOU CAUGHT ME.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
I JUST CAN'T HELP MYSELF.
YOU'RE JUST GOING
TO HAVE TO FIRE ME.
FIRE YOU?
I GOT SOMETHING ELSE IN MIND.
( fast chopping inside )
( crowd cheering )
( chopping continues )
( crowd cheering )
I LOVE KARATE!
I LOVE KARA-TAY!
I LOVE MONEY-AY!
I HATE ALL OF YOU.
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]
[Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]
Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
( louder ):
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
♪ OH... ♪
♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE
UNDER THE SEA? ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE
SOMETHING YOU WISH... ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ READY?
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
( laughs heartily )
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
( plays airy tune )
and NICKELODEON]
( with French accent ):
AH, IT IS SUNDAY MORNING
IN BIKINI BOTTOM
AND IT IS ABOUT TIME
FOR SQUIDWARD TO PRACTICE
HIS CLARINET.
SO GET YOUR EARPLUGS READY.
MMM...
( smacks loudly )
I THINK I'LL TREAT
BIKINI BOTTOM
TO SOME REAL MUSIC.
( snoring )
( Gary meows )
( blasting )
OW!
( horn continues blowing )
GOOD MORNING,
SQUIDWARD!
WANT TO GO
JELLYFISHING?
( squeaking )
HOORAY!
WE'LL BE
RIGHT OVER.
( squeaking )
( grumbling )
( knock at door )
I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE.
READY TO GO?
NO, I'M NOT
READY TO GO!
HE DOESN'T WANT
TO PLAY WITH US.
NO, PATRICK,
HE'S JUST NOT READY.
( knock at door )
READY NOW?
NO!
( knock at door )
( grumbling )
HOW ABOUT NOW?
NO!
HUH?
( knock )
NOW?
NO!
( knock )
NOW?
NO!
HOW ABOUT NOW?
NO!
NO!
NOW?
NOW?
NO!
NO!
NOW?
NO!
WHAT?!
READY YET?
NO, I'M NOT READY!
I'LL NEVER BE READY.
DON'T YOU GET IT?
SURE, WE DO.
WHAT?
( mumbling )
READY?
( smack )
OUT! JEESH!
SHOULDN'T YOU BE
AT WORK TODAY,
SPONGEBOB?
I'D LOVE TO BE AT WORK TODAY.
BUT IT'S SUNDAY.
THE KRUSTY KRAB IS CLOSED.
HOLD ON A SECOND.
I'LL BE RIGHT OUT.
HELLO?
( silence )
AH! ALONE AT LAST!
( inhales deeply )
SpongeBob and Patrick:
SQUIDWARD!
SQUIDWARD!
SQUIDWARD!
( wind howling )
SQUIDWARD!
OH, SQUIDWARD!
SQUIDWARD?!
WELL, HE'S NOT HERE.
I'LL BET THAT
EAGER BEAVER'S
ALREADY DOWN
AT JELLYFISH FIELDS.
AHA! THEY'RE FINALLY GONE.
WHAT THE...?
LOCKED?
OH, NO!
OH, WELL,
SOMEONE WILL REALIZE I'M GONE
AND COME LOOKING FOR ME.
I'LL BE OUT OF HERE IN NO TIME.
( computer beeping )
HOLY KRABBY PATTIES!
A FROZEN CEPHALOPOD.
( zapping )
( screaming )
( trancelike ):
I'LL BE OUT OF HERE IN NO TIME.
GREETINGS, PRIMITIVE.
SP... SPONGEBOB?
IS THAT YOU?
SPONGEBOB?
NO!
Mechanized voice:
I am SpongeTron.
WELCOME
TO THE FUTURE.
WHAT?
WELCOME TO THE FUTURE.
UH... THE FUTURE?
HUH?
( electronic pulsing )
OKAY, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
WHY IS EVERYTHING CHROME?
EVERYTHING IS CHROME
IN THE FUTURE.
WHA... UH... UH...
OH, MY!
IMPOSSIBLE!
HE'S LYING!
( squeaking )
( tires squeal )
HE'S RIGHT!
SpongeTron:
OF COURSE I'M
RIGHT, SQUIDWARD.
JUST ASK MY CLONES--
SPONGETRONS X, Y AND Z.
ARE THE... OTHER LETTERS
OF THE ALPHABET INVOLVED HERE?
SURE-- ALL 486 OF THEM.
FUTURE!
FUTURE!
FUTURE!
FUTURE!
THANKS.
NOW, LISTEN.
ALL OF YOU!
I DON'T BELONG HERE.
THIS IS ALL
A HORRIBLE MISTAKE.
PLEASE, WE'VE GOT
TO DO SOMETHING!
All:
JELLYFISHING!
( loud static )
DID SOMEBODY SAY "JELLYFISHING"?
HI, PAT-TRON!
J-JUST LISTEN TO ME.
I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.
I'VE GOT TO GET HOME
TO MY OWN TIME PERIOD.
I GOT TO GO!
WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST ASK?
THE TIME MACHINE IS
DOWN THE HALL, TO THE LEFT.
( laughing gleefully )
( machine humming loudly )
SpongeTron:
OOPS!
OH, YEAH,
THAT ONE'S THE CAN OPENER.
BUT TRY THE ONE
ON THE RIGHT.
WELL, I WOULDN'T HAVE CHOSEN
THIS INTERIOR.
OH, WHAT'S THIS?
WELL, IF SPONGEBOB
EXISTS IN THE FUTURE
I'D BETTER GO TO THE PAST.
( siren beeping )
WOW!
PRIMITIVE.
HAS SORT OF AN OLD-WORLD CHARM.
WHOA!
I GUESS THIS IS BEFORE
MANNERS WERE INVENTED!
WELL, AT LEAST THERE'S
NO SIGN OF SPONGEBRAT.
MAYBE NOW I CAN FINALLY
BE ALONE WITH MY CLARINET.
( rustling nearby )
( bang )
( whoosh )
HUH?
WHAT?
HUH?
( screams )
( chomping )
SPONGEBOB?
( yells )
STAY BACK!
( sniffing )
UH, NO THANKS.
( heavy breathing
nearby )
UH... HI THERE.
WELL, I BETTER BE GOING NOW.
( hooting like monkey )
YES, THAT'S MY ARM.
OH, THAT'S SWEET.
( bellowing )
WHAT, IS IT TIME
FOR YOUR FLEA BATH NOW?
( bones rattling )
OH, IT'S JUST
A LITTLE JELLYFISH.
( yelling frantically )
( hooting in alarm )
WELL, I'M GOING AWAY NOW.
AH!
HERE'S A NICE, SHADY SPOT,
AWAY FROM THOSE FOOLS.
( inhales deeply )
( SpongeBob
hooting )
( Patrick
bellowing )
( SpongeBob
screaming )
( zap )
( howling )
( zap )
( yelling )
WHAT ARE YOU
SIMPLETONS DOING?!
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO CATCH THESE THINGS--
NOT TORTURE YOURSELF
WITH THEM.
GIVE ME
THOSE LOINCLOTHS!
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
( mumbling )
THIS OUGHT
TO MAKE THINGS GO
A LITTLE SMOOTHER.
( whimpering )
GIVE ME THOSE THINGS!
YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO CATCH THEM-- LIKE THIS.
IT'S CALLED JELLYFISHING.
( both grunting
stupidly )
AH, FINALLY!
( inhales deeply )
( playing squeaky tune )
( yelling angrily )
( screams )
GET ME OUT OF HERE.
UH-OH.
Machine voice:
Loser.
( bellowing wildly )
( electronic whirring )
( alarm beeping )
( electronic zap )
( voice echoing eerily )
( squeaking )
HE'S NOT HERE.
NO MORE SPONGEBOB.
NO MORE!
I MAY FINALLY HAVE FOUND
A PLACE WHERE I CAN BE ALL...
ALONE!
Various voices:
ALONE... ALONE... ALONE...
( voices echoing )
I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE!
( panting )
( voices echoing eerily )
WHERE'S THE TIME MACHINE?!
WHERE'S ANYTHING?
WHERE, WHERE, WHERE, WHERE...!
I WANT TO GO HOME.
I WANT TO GO HOME.
I WANT TO GO HOME.
I WANT TO GO HOME.
I MISS BIKINI BOTTOM.
I MISS MY EASTER ISLAND HEAD.
I EVEN MISS SPONGEBOB.
SPONGEBOB! PATRICK!
Both:
HI, SQUIDWARD.
OH, I'M BACK!
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.
I-I-I WAS IN SPACE
AND I WENT TO THE FUTURE
AND THEN I WENT TO THE PAST,
AND THEN I WAS NOWHERE
BUT NOW I'M BACK
AND YOU DON'T KNOW
HOW HAPPY I AM
TO SEE YOU GUYS.
DOES THIS MEAN
YOU WANT TO GO...
Both:
JELLYFISHING?!
NO!
D'OH!
WHO'S THE BARNACLEHEAD
WHO INVENTED
THAT GAME, ANYWAY?
Both:
YOU ARE, SQUIDWARD.
( Patrick and SpongeBob
laughing )
Squidward.
I'M GOING BACK.
( whacks )
( yells )
KIAI!
OH, SORRY, PINEAPPLE HOUSE.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE SOMEONE ELSE.
AH! WHAT A GREAT DAY AT WORK.
( clattering
nearby )
YEAH!
( footsteps quacking )
( groaning )
I KNOW YOU'RE BACK THERE, SANDY.
AND I ALSO KNOW THAT
NOBODY CAN HIDE FROM SPONGE...
BOB.
I GOT YOU NOW!
KIAI!
WELL, I GUESS
THE COAST IS CLEAR.
Yeah, shopping's weird.
Did you ever go
into the seafood aisle
and say, "Who eats this stuff?"
( laughing )
I LOVE THIS SHOW!
ME, TOO.
( screams )
( karate yelling )
UH, JUST A SECOND.
SAFETY FIRST.
AND NOW,
SPIN TECHNIQUE.
( yelling )
( yells )
DOUBLE OVERHAND
SQUIRREL KNOT.
( bowling ball rumbling,
striking pins )
I'M GOING TO GET YOU
TOMORROW, SPONGEBOB.
THAT'LL BE THE DAY.
WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP,
WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP...
( humming to herself )
( phone cuckooing )
HELLO.
KIAI! KIAI!
NICE TRY, SPONGEBRAIN.
( yells )
HEY, SANDY,
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE ONE
ABOUT THE SQUIRREL
AND THE TIN CANS?
UH, DON'T THINK SO.
WELL, IT GOES LIKE THIS.
OH, WAIT, I FORGOT
THE PUNCH LINE.
( screeches )
OH, YEAH.
( laughing )
THAT'S A GOOD ONE, ISN'T IT?
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY.
BEAUTIFUL SKY, BEAUTIFUL PLANTS.
HI, PLANTS.
BEAUTIFUL...
PILE OF CANS.
MMM-MMM.
SANDY, THAT IS YOUR
WORST DISGUISE YET.
NO, IT'S NOT,
SPONGEBOB.
THIS IS.
NOW, PREPARE
FOR A LONG,
MERCILESS WHOOPING.
MMM, MMM.
MY FAVORITE.
( laughing evilly )
BY THE POWERS OF NAUGHTINESS
I COMMAND THIS PARTICULAR
DROP OF HOT SAUCE
TO BE REALLY, REALLY HOT!
THANDY, WAIT!
VICTORY IS YOURTH.
I KNEW YOU'D COME
TO YOUR SENSES, SPONGEBOB.
WHOA!
KIAI!
CURSES...!
Exasperated customer:
OH, WHAT IS GOING ON?!
WITH EXTRA CHEESE,
TO GO.
THREE PATTIES,
FOUR LARGE OYSTER SKINS
ON THE DOUBLE, SPONGEBOB.
OH, YEAH.
GOT YOU!
SPONGEBOB...
I'M GOING TO PRETEND
THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
NOW, FILL THESE ORDERS
OR LEAVE, SPONGEBOB.
WE'RE VERY BUSY TODAY.
ORDER... OH!
( fly buzzing )
AH...
SPONGEBOB, NOW,
ARE YOU GOING TO...
Mr. Krabs:
OH, SQUIDWARD
I WAS GOING
THROUGH SOME RECORDS
BACK IN ME OFFICE,
AND... HUH?
SO, YOU GOT THE
HAIRPIECE AFTER ALL.
( SpongeBob yelling )
THOUGHT YOU COULD
SNEAK UP ON ME
AT WORK, DID YOU?
WELL, YOU CAN'T
BECAUSE
I'M FAST, I'M MEAN
AND I CAN DO THIS.
SSS!
TOOK CARE OF HER,
YES, I DID.
OH! AHOY, SIR.
WHAT WAS THAT?
BUT SIR,
SHE SNUCK UP ON ME.
IN MY OWN DOJO.
ARE YOU ON SOME NEW
ALLERGY MEDICATION, BOY?
NO, SIR, JUST PRACTICING
MY KARATE, SIR--
OR KARA-TAY, AS SOME CALL IT.
"KARA-TAY"?
YOU SHOULD BE MAKING ME
MONEY-AY
WITH YOUR SPATU-LAY.
NOW, GET BACK TO WORK.
AY-AY, CAPITAY.
NICE HAIRPIECE,
SQUIDWARD.
SPONGEBOB, DID YOU GET
THOSE BATHROOMS MOPPED YET?
YES, MA'AM... I MEAN SIR
I MEAN BOSS,
I MEAN POOH-BAH.
D'OH!
( someone sneezes )
HA!
SANDY!
NO MORE.
BUT MR. KRABS...
SHH!
NO MORE OF THIS
KARATE STUFF, LAD
OR YOU'RE FIRED.
( in high voice ):
FIRED?
NO MORE KARATE?
HOW AM I GOING TO TELL SANDY?
KI...AI!
I CAN'T.
MR. KRABS SAID I HAVE
TO GIVE UP KARATE.
UH-HUH,
SURE, SPONGEBOB.
NO, REALLY, SANDY, STOP.
I'M NOT
FALLING FOR IT,
SPONGEBOB.
NO, REALLY!
PLEASE STOP.
WHAT THE...
SPONGEBOB!
( screams )
MR. KRABS.
WHAT DID I JUST GET THROUGH
TELLING YOU, LAD?
BUT, I... SHE...
SPONGEBOB, YOU'RE FIRED!
HUH?
FIRED?
HEY?
SPONGEBOB?
( starts sobbing )
( bawling )
WAIT-- MR. KRABS,
IT'S NOT HIS FAULT.
IT'S MINE.
HE TRIED TO TELL ME,
BUT I WOULDN'T LISTEN.
GIVE HIM ANOTHER
CHANCE... PLEASE?
HMM.
ALL RIGHT, ME BOY.
I'LL GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE.
BUT NO MORE KARATE.
IT'S POISONING
YOUR MIND.
( sniffs )
MMM, MAMMALS.
AW, SHOOT, SPONGEBOB.
I GUESS YOU
AIN'T FIBBING.
( both sigh )
AW... THAT GAME WAS
GETTING OLD, ANYWAY.
IT'S NOT FUN ANYMORE.
I MEAN, WHAT'S
SO FUN ABOUT... THIS?
( laughing )
NOTHING!
NOTHING IS FUN
ABOUT THAT AT ALL.
WE CAN FIND
SOMETHING TO DO
THAT'S AT LEAST
NINE TIMES AS FUN.
WE CAN?
I MEAN... SURE WE CAN.
YEAH!
LIKE WE CAN, UH...
WE CAN SQUEEZE THINGS.
( grunting and groaning )
WHOO-HOO!
HOW MUCH FUN WAS THAT?
ALMOST SOME.
I KNOW.
WE CAN ACT LIKE PLANTS.
PHOTOSYNTHESIS.
PHOTOSYNTHESIS.
WANT TO GO
TO THE PARK?
KARATE
SURE IS DUMB.
YEAH, YOU CAN
SAY THAT AGAIN.
I FEEL DUMB JUST
THINKING ABOUT IT.
DUH... I'M STUPID.
I LIKE KARATE.
DOY...
YOU LIKE WHAT?
NOT KARATE.
HA! I DON'T EVEN
KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT ANYTHING IS.
IN FACT...
Man:
KIAI!
KIAI!
( giggling )
FOR A SECOND,
THAT SOUNDED LIKE...
KARATE?
RIGHT NOW?
I MEAN... NO,
WHAT IS THIS KARATE?
UH, WHAT DO YOU WANT
ON YOUR SANDWICH?
KARATE.
WHAT DID YOU SAY?
UH, MUSTARD--
MUSTARD.
I WANT MUSTARD
ON MY SANDWICH.
THERE WE GO.
HOW MANY SLICES
OF BARNACLE LOAF DO YOU WANT?
ONE... JUST ONE.
ONE FOR YOU...
HMM?
AND ONE FOR ME!
OH, UH...
SPONGEBOB?
MAYBE JUST ONE MORE.
I'M KIND OF HUNGRY.
SURE THING, SANDY.
SPONGEBOB?
DO YOU THINK, UM...
DO YOU THINK
I COULD CUT THIS ONE?
UH, SURE.
THANKS.
( yells )
IS THAT ENOUGH?
MAYBE JUST ONE MORE.
OR TWO.
OR THREE.
OR TEN.
TEN, YES, TEN!
BECAUSE WE'RE REALLY HUNGRY.
RIGHT!
RIGHT!
RIGHT!
RIGHT!
TIME FOR BUNS!
( yelling )
HOW ABOUT
SOME TOMATOES?
AND I'LL
CUT THE CHEESE.
( both yell )
AND WHAT ELSE?
MORE BUNS!
AND LETTUCE!
YEAH!
YEAH!
( chopping frantically )
( panting )
MAKING SANDWICHES SURE IS FUN.
RIGHT, SANDY?
RIGHT?
I GUESS I'LL EAT ONE NOW.
YOU'RE MINCEMEAT.
IN YOUR DREAMS!
( both yelling and shouting )
HUH? WHAT THE BARNACLE...?
DO YOU THINK
MR. KRABS EVER DOES KARATE?
( clears his throat )
( screams )
MR. KRABS!
UH, HEY, MR. KRABS,
HOW'S IT GOING?
NICE DAY, HUH?
OH, ALL RIGHT, MR. KRABS,
YOU CAUGHT ME.
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
I JUST CAN'T HELP MYSELF.
YOU'RE JUST GOING
TO HAVE TO FIRE ME.
FIRE YOU?
I GOT SOMETHING ELSE IN MIND.
( fast chopping inside )
( crowd cheering )
( chopping continues )
( crowd cheering )
I LOVE KARATE!
I LOVE KARA-TAY!
I LOVE MONEY-AY!
I HATE ALL OF YOU.
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]
[Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]