SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 1, Episode 13 - Scaredy Pants/I Was a Teenage Gary - full transcript
Scaredy Pants: It's Halloween again, and like every year before, SpongeBob is the easiest scare in Bikini Bottom. This year SpongeBob is determined to turn the tables and scare everyone at Mr. Krabs' Halloween party. With Patrick's help, SpongeBob devises what is sure to be the scariest costume ever. Although SpongeBob's costume scares no one, his presence does summon Bikini Bottom's most feared ghostly legend - The Flying Dutchman, who is appalled by the way SpongeBob is portraying him. I Was a Teenage Gary: Squidward reluctantly agrees to take care of SpongeBob's pet snail, Gary, for a few days while SpongeBob is out of town. When Squidward's negligence causes Gary to become ill, SpongeBob accidentally takes a dose of the snail medicine, which causes SpongeBob to turn into a snail. Squidward is now faced with taking care of both Gary, and the impossible SpongeSnail.
ARE YOU READY, KIDS?
Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
( louder ):
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
♪ OH... ♪
♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE
UNDER THE SEA? ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE
SOMETHING YOU WISH... ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ READY?
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
( laughs heartily )
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
( plays airy tune )
and NICKELODEON]
( with French accent ):
HALLOWEEN IS NO DIFFERENT
UNDER THE WAVES--
PIRATES, SKELETONS
AND SEA MONSTERS...
( laughing evilly )
OOP, SORRY.
EVERYONE HAVING FUN.
WELL, ALMOST EVERYONE.
HUH?
( thump )
( hinge creaks eerily )
WHO'S THERE?
( deep, cacklelike creaking )
( whimpering nervously )
OKAY, MR. KRABS, THE DISHES
ARE DONE-- I'M LEAVING.
HOLD ON.
DON'T YOU WANT TO HEAR
MY ANNUAL SCARY STORY?
NO, THANK YOU, MR. KRABS.
UH, DOES IT HAVE MONSTERS IN IT?
AYE-- THE WORST MONSTER
OF THEM ALL.
UH...
NO.
IS IT A TRUE STORY?
TRUE AS THE DEEP BLUE.
OKAY, MAYBE JUST A LITTLE.
HAVE A SEAT, ME BOY.
HOT, HOT, HOT,
HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT!
EVERY YEAR,
ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT
THE FLYING DUTCHMAN
DESCENDS ON BIKINI BOTTOM
IN A PIRATE SHIP...
JUST LIKE THIS
ONLY BIGGER.
EXCUSE ME, DID HIS SHIP
LOOK LIKE A KRABBY PATTY?
LIKE I WAS SAYING,
THE FLYING DUTCHMAN SWOOPS DOWN
AND STARTS
STEALING PEOPLE'S SOULS.
DO SOULS LOOK LIKE PICKLES?
AYE, AS A MATTER OF FACT,
THEY DO.
THEN HE PUTS THEM
WHERE YOU CAN NEVER GET THEM--
IN HIS SOUL BAG.
( laughing evilly )
I'VE COME
FOR YOUR PICKLE.
( screams )
HA! SCAREDY-PANTS GETS
EASIER TO SCARE EVERY YEAR!
( both laugh heartily )
HMM... SQUIDWARD.
NOTHING LIKE A GOOD
GHOST STORY, EH, ME BOY?
HOPE YOU'RE NOT TOO SCARED
TO COME TO ME PARTY TONIGHT
SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS.
( laughing )
STEAL YOUR SOUL.
( screams )
( evil laughter )
( gasps )
TRICK OR TREAT.
( SpongeBob yells )
IT'S OKAY, SON.
THAT'S JUST
SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS.
( honks )
( screams )
( teeth chattering )
HAPPY HALLOWEEN, SCAREDY-PANTS.
( cackles )
THE NAME'S SQUAREPANTS.
IT'S SQUAREPANTS!
SpongeBob:
I DON'T GET IT, GARY.
EVERY HALLOWEEN, NO MATTER HOW
HARD I TRY, EVERYBODY SCARES ME.
( Gary meows )
WELL, I'M SICK OF IT.
NO MORE SCAREDY-PANTS.
( screams )
( knees clattering )
( knocking at door )
SPONGEBOB!
GARY, IT'S PATRICK.
I'M GOING TO SCARE HIM.
IT'S MY TURN.
RAR!
HIYA, SPONGEBOB.
( scream, crunch )
SORRY, I DIDN'T
MEAN TO SCARE YOU.
WHY CAN'T I BE
FRIGHTENING FOR ONCE?
WHERE'S MY CHANCE?
IF YOU WANT
TO BE SCARY
YOU'RE GOING TO NEED
A GOOD COSTUME.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
GREAT! YOU'RE GOING
AS MY TRICK-OR-TREAT BAG.
NO, NO!
I'M THE GHOST
OF THE FLYING DUTCHMAN.
UH, SOMETHING'S MISSING.
I KNOW!
( hand-sawing )
( power-sawing )
STEP INTO THESE BABIES, HANS.
TERRIFYING.
I DON'T KNOW, PATRICK.
( kids giggle )
( doorbell rings )
COME ON, IT'S LITTLE KIDS!
LITTLE KIDS ARE EASY TO SCARE.
TRICK OR TREAT!
RAR, RAR!
( laughing )
LOOK, IT'S
THE HAUNTED
MATTRESS.
OKAY, OKAY--
HERE'S YOUR CANDY.
NO... PLEASE.
THAT WAS ENOUGH
OF A TREAT.
THANK YOU.
( kids laughing )
I DON'T GET IT, PATRICK.
SPONGEBOB
LOOK AT MY NEW PAPER GHOST.
OOH!
SCARY...
THAT IS IT, PATRICK.
WHAT'S IT?
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN THAT GHOST
AND ME?
UH...
NO, NO, NO,
WAIT, DON'T TELL ME.
( Patrick groaning
with exertion )
D-D-DON'T TELL ME.
I CAN DO THIS!
I CAN DO THIS,
DON'T TELL ME,
DON'T TELL ME!
DON'T TELL ME!
OKAY, TELL ME.
I'VE GOT A SQUARE HEAD
AND A REAL GHOST
HAS A ROUND ONE.
ALL WE HAVE TO DO
IS MAKE MY HEAD ROUND
AND-- BOO!-- I'M SCARY.
OKAY, ARE YOU READY?
REMEMBER, LIKE THIS.
YOU SURE YOU WANT
TO DO THIS?
SHAVE ME DOWN, MAKE ME ROUND.
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GET TO IT.
( shaver buzzing )
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
PERFECT.
NOW, THAT'S SCARY!
LET'S GO SCARE SOMEBODY.
SpongeBob:
WHOO...
I'M THE FLYING DUTCHMAN!
OOH...
I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM!
( doorbell rings )
RAR, RAR!
I'M THE FLYING
DUTCHMAN.
Patrick:
OOH...
I'M THE FLYING
DUTCHMAN'S BEST FRIEND.
( both laughing )
HEY, DON'T YOU KIDS
WANT YOUR CANDY?
( both laughing )
OH, BOY,
THAT WAS SOMETHING.
YOUR COSTUME
REALLY PACKS A PUNCH.
DO YOU THINK?
OH, NO QUESTION.
YOU SCARED THE BARNACLES
OFF THAT GUY.
WHO SHOULD WE SCARE NEXT?
THERE'S A WHOLE PARTY
JUST FULL OF PEOPLE
DOWN AT THE KRUSTY KRAB
AND THE FLYING DUTCHMAN IS
GOING TO SHOW UP UNINVITED.
( people laughing outside )
OOH, HERE COMES
SOMEONE NOW.
RAR!
WHOO...
( in quavery voice ):
I'M THE FLYING DUTCHMAN!
( laughing )
( laughing )
WASN'T THAT
THE HAUNTED
MATTRESS?
I GUESS HE'S BEEN DEMOTED
TO A HAUNTED SLEEPING BAG.
( laughing )
( party music playing )
( general conversation )
( choking and coughing )
OH, DAD, YOU'RE
EMBARRASSING ME AGAIN.
( crying )
( gagging, gasping )
( spurt )
( whistle )
( glass shatters )
HOWDY, SQUIDWARD...
I MEAN FLYING DUTCHMAN.
GREAT PARTY, HUH?
WHAT ARE YOU
SUPPOSED TO BE?
WHY, I'M A PET GOLDFISH
IN A BOWL.
I DON'T GET IT.
( slurping )
ARE YOU READY,
SPONGEBOB?
OKAY, PATRICK.
KILL THE LIGHTS.
( music stops )
( people screaming )
( Patrick laughing evilly )
I AM THE FLYING DUTCHMAN!
BOOGA, BOOGA, BOOGA, BOOGA!
( rattling )
( eerily ):
GIVE ME YOUR SOULS!
( buzzing )
( zap )
HUH?
( Patrick yelling )
( SpongeBob screaming )
( yelling )
WHOA!
( yelling )
( yelling and screaming )
OOH! AAH!
OUCH!
( SpongeBob yells )
( yelling repeatedly )
( yelling slows to halt )
HEY, THAT'S NO DUTCHMAN.
THAT'S SPONGEBOB!
SPONGEBOB?
SPONGEBOB.
( all laughing )
HELP!
HELP!
I AM NOT SPONGEBOB!
THOSE ARE MY STREET CLOTHES.
( partygoers laughing )
FLYING DUTCHMAN?!
FLYING DOPEMAN!
( thunder )
Deep male voice:
ENOUGH!
( all gasp )
( laughing evilly )
IT'S THE REAL FLYING DUTCHMAN!
( gasps )
YOU BET YOUR LILY WHITE LIVERS
I'M THE FLYING DUTCHMAN.
AND I'LL LET YOU IN
ON A LITTLE SECRET.
I'M GOING TO STEAL YOUR SOUL!
( screaming )
QUIET!
YOU HAD IT COMING,
YOU BIG CRYBABIES.
EVERY YEAR,
PEOPLE DRESSING LIKE ME!
( whistling nonchalantly )
TURNING THE FLYING DUTCHMAN NAME
INTO A LAUGHINGSTOCK!
BUT THAT'S NOT THE REASON
I'M TAKING YOUR SOULS.
NO, THIS IS THE STRAW
THAT BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK.
OUT OF ALL THE DUTCHMAN
COSTUMES I'VE SEEN
YOURS IS THE MOST INSULTING.
DO YOU MEAN
I'M NOT SCARY?
YOU?!
SCARY?
( laughing thunderously )
LET ME TELL YOU
ABOUT SCARY, KID.
THERE'S ALL KINDS OF
SCARY THINGS IN THE WORLD.
SPIDERS ARE SCARY.
I'M SCARY.
YOU?
YOU'RE NOT SCARY.
OKAY, LET'S
GET THIS OVER WITH.
( laughing evilly )
( screaming )
SPONGEBOB!
FIRST I GOT TO GET RID
OF THIS STUPID COSTUME.
( yelling )
HEY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW!
I SCARED HIM!
( laughing )
( all screaming )
IT WORKED, PATRICK.
I SCARED EVERYBODY.
YEAH.
I GUESS IT WAS
YOUR PINK HAT.
PINK HAT? OH, THAT'S NOT A HAT.
THAT'S MY BRAIN.
OH...
( screaming )
SpongeBob:
DON'T WORRY. IT GROWS BACK.
EXERCISE TIME
IS OVER, GARY.
WE DON'T WANT YOU
GETTING TOO THIN.
HERE, BOY.
FETCH!
( rooster crows )
( snoring )
( meows )
HUH?
GOOD JOB, GARY.
I LOVE YOU, GARY.
GARY, GARY,
GARY, GARY...
( purring )
GARY, GARY, GARY.
( laughing )
DOWN, BOY!
( laughing )
SPONGEBOB!
ARE YOU READY?
ARE YOU READY?
ARE YOU READY?
FOR WHAT?
THE ANNUAL JELLYFISH CONVENTION
IN UKULELE BOTTOM THIS WEEKEND.
HA... YA!
( yelling )
( glass shatters )
SO, YOU READY OR WHAT?
THAT WAS THIS WEEKEND?
I CAN'T GO.
I DON'T HAVE ANYONE
TO TAKE CARE OF GARY.
WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP
LEAVING YOUR UNDERGARMENTS
ON MY FRONT LAWN?
SQUIDWARD, COULD YOU
WATCH GARY THIS WEEKEND?
WHAT'S A GARY?
NOT A GARY-- GARY.
HE'S MY PET SNAIL.
( pop )
SAY "HELLO."
( hisses )
AAH!
YOU ACTUALLY CARE
FOR THAT THING?
I LOVE GARY!
WELL, I DON'T.
GET SOMEBODY ELSE.
I GUESS WE CAN'T GO
AWAY THIS WEEKEND
AFTER ALL, PATRICK.
GO AWAY?
YOU MEAN,
IF I WATCH GARY
YOU GUYS WILL BE
GONE ALL WEEKEND?
ACTUALLY,
A THREE-DAY WEEKEND.
AS IN "NOT HERE
FOR THREE DAYS"?
YEAH, BUT YOU'VE ALREADY
SAID YOU CAN'T DO IT.
WE UNDERSTAND.
DON'T FEEL BAD,
SQUIDWARD.
THE THREE OF US
CAN STILL HAVE
OUR OWN JELLYFISH
CONVENTION
AT YOUR HOUSE.
I CHANGED
MY MIND.
YOU GUYS DESERVE
A WEEKEND AWAY.
YOU'LL DO IT?
GREAT!
LET ME SHOW YOU
A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT SNAIL CARE.
YOU NEED TO TAKE
GARY FOR A WALK
TWICE A DAY...
Squidward:
FRIDAY, SATURDAY AND SUNDAY--
A THREE-DAY WEEKEND.
LET ME SHOW YOU
HOW TO FEED HIM.
A CAN IN THE MORNING
AND A CAN AT NIGHT.
( sarcastically ):
SURE IT'S ENOUGH?
Group:
JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING,
JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING!
THE BUS IS HERE!
THE BUS IS HERE!
COME ON, SPONGEBOB!
All:
JELLYFISHING! JELLYFISHING!
TIME TO GO.
DON'T WANT TO BE LATE. BYE-BYE.
YOU WON'T FORGET
MY INSTRUCTIONS, WILL YOU?
I HAVE THE MEMORY
OF AN ELEPHANT.
I'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF FRED.
GARY.
RIGHT, YEAH, RIGHT.
Group:
JELLYFISHING!
All:
JELLYFISHING! JELLYFISHING!
SO LONG, LOSERS!
( laughs )
THEY'RE GONE.
( laughs )
( meows )
( humming )
THIS IS GOING TO BE
THE BEST THREE DAYS OF MY LIFE.
( sighs )
I'M GOING TO DO ALL THE THINGS
I CAN'T NORMALLY DO
BECAUSE OF SPONGEBOB.
( sizzling quietly )
Group:
JELLYFISHING! JELLYFISHING!
JELLYFISHING! JELLYFISHING!
WELL, THUS ENDS THE GREATEST
WEEKEND OF MY LIFE.
NO SPONGEBOB, NO PATRICK,
NOTHING BUT ME, ME, ME.
( groans gutturally )
( thud )
( screams )
THE SNAIL! I FORGOT THE SNAIL!
( panting )
( moans )
I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.
OH!
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
HERE WE GO, RIGHT HERE.
EAT, EAT, EAT, EAT, EAT, EAT!
YOU'VE GOT TO FINISH THIS FOOD!
SEE YOU LATER, PATRICK.
COME ON, EAT! EAT! EAT!
AAH... AAH... AAH...
OH!
GARY, I'M HOME!
HI, SPONGEBOB.
SQUIDWARD, WHY ARE YOU HERE?
( gulps hard )
AAH!
JUST, UH, CHECKING UP
ON OLD GARY FOR YOU.
YOU'RE A GREAT FRIEND,
SQUIDWARD.
WELL, I GUESS
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
BYE.
THANKS, SQUIDWARD.
I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU.
( wheezes )
( screams )
GARY!
GARY, WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU?
WHAT'S WRONG?
SQUIDWARD, SOMETHING'S
WRONG WITH GARY!
SQUIDWARD!
OH!
Male fish:
YES, YES, IT'S
JUST AS I THOUGHT.
WHAT?
THIS IS DEFINITELY
A SNAIL.
( gasps )
I KNEW IT!
OH, SQUID,
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
THEREFORE, A SHOT
OF SNAIL PLASMA
MUST BE CAREFULLY ADMINISTERED.
HERE YOU GO.
YOU WON'T DO IT?
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
I'M TOO SQUEAMISH.
UH, HANG ON, DOC.
LET ME HELP YOU
WITH YOUR BAG THERE.
SQUID, WAIT.
I CAN'T GIVE GARY HIS PLASMA.
I'M SQUEAMISH, TOO.
OH, SPONGEBOB,
I DON'T WANT TO...
( violent coughing )
GARY!
OKAY, OKAY, I'LL DO IT.
NOW, DON'T HURT HIM, SQUIDWARD.
OKAY, STEADY.
WAIT, THAT'S TOO HARD.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY,
OKAY, TRY IT AGAIN.
WAIT!
WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.
( stammers ):
HOLD HIM STILL.
WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.
HOLD HIM STILL!
WAIT.
OUCH!
UH, SQUIDWARD...
YOU'VE INJECTED ME
WITH SNAIL PLASMA.
WELL, YOU MADE
ME DO IT.
WHAT'S GOING
TO HAPPEN TO ME?
OH, NOTHING, IT'S JUST
A LITTLE SNAIL PLASMA.
I DON'T KNOW,
I FEEL KIND OF FUNNY.
Squidward:
IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD!
( moans )
( gulps )
( gargles, then clears throat )
( meows spiritedly )
HE JUST NEEDED WATER?
OH, GARY,
YOU'RE BETTER!
OH, HOW TOUCHING.
I'M GOING TO GO HOME
AND THROW UP.
GOOD NIGHT.
SQUIDWARD, WAIT!
THE SNAIL PLASMA.
TRUST ME, SPONGEBOB.
NOTHING'S GOING
TO HAPPEN TO YOU.
YOU'RE FINE.
( meows )
DON'T WORRY, GARY.
SQUIDWARD SAYS
I'LL BE FINE.
HE KNOWS EVERYTHING.
SO, YOU HUNGRY?
( meows loudly )
HMM?
HMM!
MMM.
MMM, MMM, MMM.
HERE YOU GO.
EAT UP, GARY.
( meows questioningly )
SORRY, GARY,
I COULDN'T CONTROL MYSELF.
( burps )
MEOW.
WHY'D I JUST DO THAT?
AM I CRACKING UP?
( meows )
NO. NO, SQUIDWARD'S RIGHT.
I'M FINE.
I WORRY TOO MUCH.
IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD.
I FEEL TIP-TOP.
GARY, YOU'RE GETTING
( voice slows ):
A LOT FASTER.
( footsteps thumping loudly )
( voice echoes ):
LOOK AT ME.
NEVER BETTER.
( yelps )
I'M OKAY.
SQUIDWARD SAID I'M FINE.
( screams )
( shrieks )
GARY! I'M FINE!
( straining ):
YOU SEE?
( grunting )
THAT'S OKAY,
I'M A LEFTY, ANYWAY.
( grunts, screams )
NOW I DON'T HAVE TO BUY
THOSE NEW SHOES.
( screams and groans )
I TAKE IT BACK, GARY.
SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME!
OW.
I HOPE I NEVER SEE
ANOTHER SNAIL AGAIN.
GOOD NIGHT, CLARI.
( doorbell rings,
knock on door )
WHO COULD THAT BE?
AS IF I DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW.
SPONGEBOB, I ALREADY TOLD YOU:
YOU'RE GOING TO BE JUST FI...
( screams )
OW.
( screams )
MEOW, MEOW.
( screams )
( panting )
SPONGEBOB?
OH, NEPTUNE, WHAT HAVE I DONE?
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
GET IT TOGETHER, SQUIDWARD.
MEOW!
( screams )
MEOW!
MEOW, MEOW.
( screams )
MEOW.
( gasps )
MEOW, MEOW.
( screams )
NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING
IF I'D ONLY FED THAT SNAIL.
MEOW.
( screaming )
MEOW.
( screaming )
MEOW.
( screams )
MEOW.
( screams )
MEOW.
( screaming and
meowing continue )
( glass shatters )
( groaning )
UH-OH.
Gary ( to "Blow the Man Down" ):
♪ MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW ♪
♪ MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW MEOW ♪
♪ MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW ♪
♪ MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW ♪
♪ MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW ♪
♪ MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW ♪
WILL YOU CLAM UP?
♪ MEOW MEOW...
( yelps )
♪ MEOW MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW ♪
♪ MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW MEOW ♪
♪ MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW ♪
♪ MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW MEOW. ♪
ALL RIGHT, BOILS AND GHOULS,
YOU READY?
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
YEAH!
and NICKELODEON]
♪ WELL... WHO LIVES NEAR
A GRAVEYARD UNDER THE SEA? ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND SPOOKY IS HE. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
♪ IF NAUTICAL CHILLS BE
SOMETHING YOU WISH... ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
♪ THEN SCREAM YOUR GILLS OUT
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS,
SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
[Captioned by The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB... SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
( louder ):
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
♪ OH... ♪
♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE
UNDER THE SEA? ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE
SOMETHING YOU WISH... ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ READY?
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
( laughs heartily )
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
( plays airy tune )
and NICKELODEON]
( with French accent ):
HALLOWEEN IS NO DIFFERENT
UNDER THE WAVES--
PIRATES, SKELETONS
AND SEA MONSTERS...
( laughing evilly )
OOP, SORRY.
EVERYONE HAVING FUN.
WELL, ALMOST EVERYONE.
HUH?
( thump )
( hinge creaks eerily )
WHO'S THERE?
( deep, cacklelike creaking )
( whimpering nervously )
OKAY, MR. KRABS, THE DISHES
ARE DONE-- I'M LEAVING.
HOLD ON.
DON'T YOU WANT TO HEAR
MY ANNUAL SCARY STORY?
NO, THANK YOU, MR. KRABS.
UH, DOES IT HAVE MONSTERS IN IT?
AYE-- THE WORST MONSTER
OF THEM ALL.
UH...
NO.
IS IT A TRUE STORY?
TRUE AS THE DEEP BLUE.
OKAY, MAYBE JUST A LITTLE.
HAVE A SEAT, ME BOY.
HOT, HOT, HOT,
HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT!
EVERY YEAR,
ON HALLOWEEN NIGHT
THE FLYING DUTCHMAN
DESCENDS ON BIKINI BOTTOM
IN A PIRATE SHIP...
JUST LIKE THIS
ONLY BIGGER.
EXCUSE ME, DID HIS SHIP
LOOK LIKE A KRABBY PATTY?
LIKE I WAS SAYING,
THE FLYING DUTCHMAN SWOOPS DOWN
AND STARTS
STEALING PEOPLE'S SOULS.
DO SOULS LOOK LIKE PICKLES?
AYE, AS A MATTER OF FACT,
THEY DO.
THEN HE PUTS THEM
WHERE YOU CAN NEVER GET THEM--
IN HIS SOUL BAG.
( laughing evilly )
I'VE COME
FOR YOUR PICKLE.
( screams )
HA! SCAREDY-PANTS GETS
EASIER TO SCARE EVERY YEAR!
( both laugh heartily )
HMM... SQUIDWARD.
NOTHING LIKE A GOOD
GHOST STORY, EH, ME BOY?
HOPE YOU'RE NOT TOO SCARED
TO COME TO ME PARTY TONIGHT
SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS.
( laughing )
STEAL YOUR SOUL.
( screams )
( evil laughter )
( gasps )
TRICK OR TREAT.
( SpongeBob yells )
IT'S OKAY, SON.
THAT'S JUST
SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS.
( honks )
( screams )
( teeth chattering )
HAPPY HALLOWEEN, SCAREDY-PANTS.
( cackles )
THE NAME'S SQUAREPANTS.
IT'S SQUAREPANTS!
SpongeBob:
I DON'T GET IT, GARY.
EVERY HALLOWEEN, NO MATTER HOW
HARD I TRY, EVERYBODY SCARES ME.
( Gary meows )
WELL, I'M SICK OF IT.
NO MORE SCAREDY-PANTS.
( screams )
( knees clattering )
( knocking at door )
SPONGEBOB!
GARY, IT'S PATRICK.
I'M GOING TO SCARE HIM.
IT'S MY TURN.
RAR!
HIYA, SPONGEBOB.
( scream, crunch )
SORRY, I DIDN'T
MEAN TO SCARE YOU.
WHY CAN'T I BE
FRIGHTENING FOR ONCE?
WHERE'S MY CHANCE?
IF YOU WANT
TO BE SCARY
YOU'RE GOING TO NEED
A GOOD COSTUME.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
GREAT! YOU'RE GOING
AS MY TRICK-OR-TREAT BAG.
NO, NO!
I'M THE GHOST
OF THE FLYING DUTCHMAN.
UH, SOMETHING'S MISSING.
I KNOW!
( hand-sawing )
( power-sawing )
STEP INTO THESE BABIES, HANS.
TERRIFYING.
I DON'T KNOW, PATRICK.
( kids giggle )
( doorbell rings )
COME ON, IT'S LITTLE KIDS!
LITTLE KIDS ARE EASY TO SCARE.
TRICK OR TREAT!
RAR, RAR!
( laughing )
LOOK, IT'S
THE HAUNTED
MATTRESS.
OKAY, OKAY--
HERE'S YOUR CANDY.
NO... PLEASE.
THAT WAS ENOUGH
OF A TREAT.
THANK YOU.
( kids laughing )
I DON'T GET IT, PATRICK.
SPONGEBOB
LOOK AT MY NEW PAPER GHOST.
OOH!
SCARY...
THAT IS IT, PATRICK.
WHAT'S IT?
WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN THAT GHOST
AND ME?
UH...
NO, NO, NO,
WAIT, DON'T TELL ME.
( Patrick groaning
with exertion )
D-D-DON'T TELL ME.
I CAN DO THIS!
I CAN DO THIS,
DON'T TELL ME,
DON'T TELL ME!
DON'T TELL ME!
OKAY, TELL ME.
I'VE GOT A SQUARE HEAD
AND A REAL GHOST
HAS A ROUND ONE.
ALL WE HAVE TO DO
IS MAKE MY HEAD ROUND
AND-- BOO!-- I'M SCARY.
OKAY, ARE YOU READY?
REMEMBER, LIKE THIS.
YOU SURE YOU WANT
TO DO THIS?
SHAVE ME DOWN, MAKE ME ROUND.
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GET TO IT.
( shaver buzzing )
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
PERFECT.
NOW, THAT'S SCARY!
LET'S GO SCARE SOMEBODY.
SpongeBob:
WHOO...
I'M THE FLYING DUTCHMAN!
OOH...
I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM!
( doorbell rings )
RAR, RAR!
I'M THE FLYING
DUTCHMAN.
Patrick:
OOH...
I'M THE FLYING
DUTCHMAN'S BEST FRIEND.
( both laughing )
HEY, DON'T YOU KIDS
WANT YOUR CANDY?
( both laughing )
OH, BOY,
THAT WAS SOMETHING.
YOUR COSTUME
REALLY PACKS A PUNCH.
DO YOU THINK?
OH, NO QUESTION.
YOU SCARED THE BARNACLES
OFF THAT GUY.
WHO SHOULD WE SCARE NEXT?
THERE'S A WHOLE PARTY
JUST FULL OF PEOPLE
DOWN AT THE KRUSTY KRAB
AND THE FLYING DUTCHMAN IS
GOING TO SHOW UP UNINVITED.
( people laughing outside )
OOH, HERE COMES
SOMEONE NOW.
RAR!
WHOO...
( in quavery voice ):
I'M THE FLYING DUTCHMAN!
( laughing )
( laughing )
WASN'T THAT
THE HAUNTED
MATTRESS?
I GUESS HE'S BEEN DEMOTED
TO A HAUNTED SLEEPING BAG.
( laughing )
( party music playing )
( general conversation )
( choking and coughing )
OH, DAD, YOU'RE
EMBARRASSING ME AGAIN.
( crying )
( gagging, gasping )
( spurt )
( whistle )
( glass shatters )
HOWDY, SQUIDWARD...
I MEAN FLYING DUTCHMAN.
GREAT PARTY, HUH?
WHAT ARE YOU
SUPPOSED TO BE?
WHY, I'M A PET GOLDFISH
IN A BOWL.
I DON'T GET IT.
( slurping )
ARE YOU READY,
SPONGEBOB?
OKAY, PATRICK.
KILL THE LIGHTS.
( music stops )
( people screaming )
( Patrick laughing evilly )
I AM THE FLYING DUTCHMAN!
BOOGA, BOOGA, BOOGA, BOOGA!
( rattling )
( eerily ):
GIVE ME YOUR SOULS!
( buzzing )
( zap )
HUH?
( Patrick yelling )
( SpongeBob screaming )
( yelling )
WHOA!
( yelling )
( yelling and screaming )
OOH! AAH!
OUCH!
( SpongeBob yells )
( yelling repeatedly )
( yelling slows to halt )
HEY, THAT'S NO DUTCHMAN.
THAT'S SPONGEBOB!
SPONGEBOB?
SPONGEBOB.
( all laughing )
HELP!
HELP!
I AM NOT SPONGEBOB!
THOSE ARE MY STREET CLOTHES.
( partygoers laughing )
FLYING DUTCHMAN?!
FLYING DOPEMAN!
( thunder )
Deep male voice:
ENOUGH!
( all gasp )
( laughing evilly )
IT'S THE REAL FLYING DUTCHMAN!
( gasps )
YOU BET YOUR LILY WHITE LIVERS
I'M THE FLYING DUTCHMAN.
AND I'LL LET YOU IN
ON A LITTLE SECRET.
I'M GOING TO STEAL YOUR SOUL!
( screaming )
QUIET!
YOU HAD IT COMING,
YOU BIG CRYBABIES.
EVERY YEAR,
PEOPLE DRESSING LIKE ME!
( whistling nonchalantly )
TURNING THE FLYING DUTCHMAN NAME
INTO A LAUGHINGSTOCK!
BUT THAT'S NOT THE REASON
I'M TAKING YOUR SOULS.
NO, THIS IS THE STRAW
THAT BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK.
OUT OF ALL THE DUTCHMAN
COSTUMES I'VE SEEN
YOURS IS THE MOST INSULTING.
DO YOU MEAN
I'M NOT SCARY?
YOU?!
SCARY?
( laughing thunderously )
LET ME TELL YOU
ABOUT SCARY, KID.
THERE'S ALL KINDS OF
SCARY THINGS IN THE WORLD.
SPIDERS ARE SCARY.
I'M SCARY.
YOU?
YOU'RE NOT SCARY.
OKAY, LET'S
GET THIS OVER WITH.
( laughing evilly )
( screaming )
SPONGEBOB!
FIRST I GOT TO GET RID
OF THIS STUPID COSTUME.
( yelling )
HEY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW!
I SCARED HIM!
( laughing )
( all screaming )
IT WORKED, PATRICK.
I SCARED EVERYBODY.
YEAH.
I GUESS IT WAS
YOUR PINK HAT.
PINK HAT? OH, THAT'S NOT A HAT.
THAT'S MY BRAIN.
OH...
( screaming )
SpongeBob:
DON'T WORRY. IT GROWS BACK.
EXERCISE TIME
IS OVER, GARY.
WE DON'T WANT YOU
GETTING TOO THIN.
HERE, BOY.
FETCH!
( rooster crows )
( snoring )
( meows )
HUH?
GOOD JOB, GARY.
I LOVE YOU, GARY.
GARY, GARY,
GARY, GARY...
( purring )
GARY, GARY, GARY.
( laughing )
DOWN, BOY!
( laughing )
SPONGEBOB!
ARE YOU READY?
ARE YOU READY?
ARE YOU READY?
FOR WHAT?
THE ANNUAL JELLYFISH CONVENTION
IN UKULELE BOTTOM THIS WEEKEND.
HA... YA!
( yelling )
( glass shatters )
SO, YOU READY OR WHAT?
THAT WAS THIS WEEKEND?
I CAN'T GO.
I DON'T HAVE ANYONE
TO TAKE CARE OF GARY.
WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP
LEAVING YOUR UNDERGARMENTS
ON MY FRONT LAWN?
SQUIDWARD, COULD YOU
WATCH GARY THIS WEEKEND?
WHAT'S A GARY?
NOT A GARY-- GARY.
HE'S MY PET SNAIL.
( pop )
SAY "HELLO."
( hisses )
AAH!
YOU ACTUALLY CARE
FOR THAT THING?
I LOVE GARY!
WELL, I DON'T.
GET SOMEBODY ELSE.
I GUESS WE CAN'T GO
AWAY THIS WEEKEND
AFTER ALL, PATRICK.
GO AWAY?
YOU MEAN,
IF I WATCH GARY
YOU GUYS WILL BE
GONE ALL WEEKEND?
ACTUALLY,
A THREE-DAY WEEKEND.
AS IN "NOT HERE
FOR THREE DAYS"?
YEAH, BUT YOU'VE ALREADY
SAID YOU CAN'T DO IT.
WE UNDERSTAND.
DON'T FEEL BAD,
SQUIDWARD.
THE THREE OF US
CAN STILL HAVE
OUR OWN JELLYFISH
CONVENTION
AT YOUR HOUSE.
I CHANGED
MY MIND.
YOU GUYS DESERVE
A WEEKEND AWAY.
YOU'LL DO IT?
GREAT!
LET ME SHOW YOU
A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT SNAIL CARE.
YOU NEED TO TAKE
GARY FOR A WALK
TWICE A DAY...
Squidward:
FRIDAY, SATURDAY AND SUNDAY--
A THREE-DAY WEEKEND.
LET ME SHOW YOU
HOW TO FEED HIM.
A CAN IN THE MORNING
AND A CAN AT NIGHT.
( sarcastically ):
SURE IT'S ENOUGH?
Group:
JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING,
JELLYFISHING, JELLYFISHING!
THE BUS IS HERE!
THE BUS IS HERE!
COME ON, SPONGEBOB!
All:
JELLYFISHING! JELLYFISHING!
TIME TO GO.
DON'T WANT TO BE LATE. BYE-BYE.
YOU WON'T FORGET
MY INSTRUCTIONS, WILL YOU?
I HAVE THE MEMORY
OF AN ELEPHANT.
I'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF FRED.
GARY.
RIGHT, YEAH, RIGHT.
Group:
JELLYFISHING!
All:
JELLYFISHING! JELLYFISHING!
SO LONG, LOSERS!
( laughs )
THEY'RE GONE.
( laughs )
( meows )
( humming )
THIS IS GOING TO BE
THE BEST THREE DAYS OF MY LIFE.
( sighs )
I'M GOING TO DO ALL THE THINGS
I CAN'T NORMALLY DO
BECAUSE OF SPONGEBOB.
( sizzling quietly )
Group:
JELLYFISHING! JELLYFISHING!
JELLYFISHING! JELLYFISHING!
WELL, THUS ENDS THE GREATEST
WEEKEND OF MY LIFE.
NO SPONGEBOB, NO PATRICK,
NOTHING BUT ME, ME, ME.
( groans gutturally )
( thud )
( screams )
THE SNAIL! I FORGOT THE SNAIL!
( panting )
( moans )
I'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.
OH!
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
HERE WE GO, RIGHT HERE.
EAT, EAT, EAT, EAT, EAT, EAT!
YOU'VE GOT TO FINISH THIS FOOD!
SEE YOU LATER, PATRICK.
COME ON, EAT! EAT! EAT!
AAH... AAH... AAH...
OH!
GARY, I'M HOME!
HI, SPONGEBOB.
SQUIDWARD, WHY ARE YOU HERE?
( gulps hard )
AAH!
JUST, UH, CHECKING UP
ON OLD GARY FOR YOU.
YOU'RE A GREAT FRIEND,
SQUIDWARD.
WELL, I GUESS
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
BYE.
THANKS, SQUIDWARD.
I CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON YOU.
( wheezes )
( screams )
GARY!
GARY, WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU?
WHAT'S WRONG?
SQUIDWARD, SOMETHING'S
WRONG WITH GARY!
SQUIDWARD!
OH!
Male fish:
YES, YES, IT'S
JUST AS I THOUGHT.
WHAT?
THIS IS DEFINITELY
A SNAIL.
( gasps )
I KNEW IT!
OH, SQUID,
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
THEREFORE, A SHOT
OF SNAIL PLASMA
MUST BE CAREFULLY ADMINISTERED.
HERE YOU GO.
YOU WON'T DO IT?
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
I'M TOO SQUEAMISH.
UH, HANG ON, DOC.
LET ME HELP YOU
WITH YOUR BAG THERE.
SQUID, WAIT.
I CAN'T GIVE GARY HIS PLASMA.
I'M SQUEAMISH, TOO.
OH, SPONGEBOB,
I DON'T WANT TO...
( violent coughing )
GARY!
OKAY, OKAY, I'LL DO IT.
NOW, DON'T HURT HIM, SQUIDWARD.
OKAY, STEADY.
WAIT, THAT'S TOO HARD.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY,
OKAY, TRY IT AGAIN.
WAIT!
WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.
( stammers ):
HOLD HIM STILL.
WAIT. WAIT. WAIT.
HOLD HIM STILL!
WAIT.
OUCH!
UH, SQUIDWARD...
YOU'VE INJECTED ME
WITH SNAIL PLASMA.
WELL, YOU MADE
ME DO IT.
WHAT'S GOING
TO HAPPEN TO ME?
OH, NOTHING, IT'S JUST
A LITTLE SNAIL PLASMA.
I DON'T KNOW,
I FEEL KIND OF FUNNY.
Squidward:
IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD!
( moans )
( gulps )
( gargles, then clears throat )
( meows spiritedly )
HE JUST NEEDED WATER?
OH, GARY,
YOU'RE BETTER!
OH, HOW TOUCHING.
I'M GOING TO GO HOME
AND THROW UP.
GOOD NIGHT.
SQUIDWARD, WAIT!
THE SNAIL PLASMA.
TRUST ME, SPONGEBOB.
NOTHING'S GOING
TO HAPPEN TO YOU.
YOU'RE FINE.
( meows )
DON'T WORRY, GARY.
SQUIDWARD SAYS
I'LL BE FINE.
HE KNOWS EVERYTHING.
SO, YOU HUNGRY?
( meows loudly )
HMM?
HMM!
MMM.
MMM, MMM, MMM.
HERE YOU GO.
EAT UP, GARY.
( meows questioningly )
SORRY, GARY,
I COULDN'T CONTROL MYSELF.
( burps )
MEOW.
WHY'D I JUST DO THAT?
AM I CRACKING UP?
( meows )
NO. NO, SQUIDWARD'S RIGHT.
I'M FINE.
I WORRY TOO MUCH.
IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD.
I FEEL TIP-TOP.
GARY, YOU'RE GETTING
( voice slows ):
A LOT FASTER.
( footsteps thumping loudly )
( voice echoes ):
LOOK AT ME.
NEVER BETTER.
( yelps )
I'M OKAY.
SQUIDWARD SAID I'M FINE.
( screams )
( shrieks )
GARY! I'M FINE!
( straining ):
YOU SEE?
( grunting )
THAT'S OKAY,
I'M A LEFTY, ANYWAY.
( grunts, screams )
NOW I DON'T HAVE TO BUY
THOSE NEW SHOES.
( screams and groans )
I TAKE IT BACK, GARY.
SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME!
OW.
I HOPE I NEVER SEE
ANOTHER SNAIL AGAIN.
GOOD NIGHT, CLARI.
( doorbell rings,
knock on door )
WHO COULD THAT BE?
AS IF I DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW.
SPONGEBOB, I ALREADY TOLD YOU:
YOU'RE GOING TO BE JUST FI...
( screams )
OW.
( screams )
MEOW, MEOW.
( screams )
( panting )
SPONGEBOB?
OH, NEPTUNE, WHAT HAVE I DONE?
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
GET IT TOGETHER, SQUIDWARD.
MEOW!
( screams )
MEOW!
MEOW, MEOW.
( screams )
MEOW.
( gasps )
MEOW, MEOW.
( screams )
NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING
IF I'D ONLY FED THAT SNAIL.
MEOW.
( screaming )
MEOW.
( screaming )
MEOW.
( screams )
MEOW.
( screams )
MEOW.
( screaming and
meowing continue )
( glass shatters )
( groaning )
UH-OH.
Gary ( to "Blow the Man Down" ):
♪ MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW ♪
♪ MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW MEOW ♪
♪ MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW ♪
♪ MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW ♪
♪ MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW ♪
♪ MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW ♪
WILL YOU CLAM UP?
♪ MEOW MEOW...
( yelps )
♪ MEOW MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW ♪
♪ MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW MEOW ♪
♪ MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW ♪
♪ MEOW MEOW
MEOW MEOW MEOW. ♪
ALL RIGHT, BOILS AND GHOULS,
YOU READY?
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
YEAH!
and NICKELODEON]
♪ WELL... WHO LIVES NEAR
A GRAVEYARD UNDER THE SEA? ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND SPOOKY IS HE. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
♪ IF NAUTICAL CHILLS BE
SOMETHING YOU WISH... ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
♪ THEN SCREAM YOUR GILLS OUT
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS,
SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪
[Captioned by The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]
♪ SPONGEBOB SCAREDY-PANTS ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB... SCAREDY-PANTS! ♪