SpongeBob SquarePants (1999–…): Season 1, Episode 11 - MuscleBob BuffPants/Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost - full transcript
MuscleBob BuffPants: SpongeBob finds Sandy's rigorous physical training program too tough and chooses the easy way out by ordering a pair of fake 'bulky arms' as seen on TV. Fooling everyone with his new muscles, SpongeBob finds out there's no substitute for hard work when Sandy enters them both in the Muscle Beach Anchor Toss competition. Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost: SpongeBob and Patrick accidentally hit 'Squidward' with a flying shell, thinking they knocked him out. They place what is really a wax replica next to the heater, melting him. When a talcum-covered, real Squidward emerges from the bathroom, the boys think it's a ghost. Squidward sees this as his great chance to get the two to leave him in peace.
ARE YOU READY, KIDS?
Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
( louder ):
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
♪ OH... ♪
♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE
UNDER THE SEA? ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE
SOMETHING YOU WISH... ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ READY?
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
( laughs heartily )
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
( plays airy tune )
and NICKELODEON]
( growling and grunting )
IT'S TIME TO GROW MYSELF
LARGE AND WIDE.
( struggling )
( grunting slowly builds up )
( groaning frenziedly )
( yells )
( doorbell rings )
HOWDY, SPONGEBOB.
HOW'S IT GOING?
NOT TOO CLOSE, SANDY.
I TEND TO GET SMELLY
WHEN I'M PUMPING IRON.
CHECK IT OUT.
WELL, YOU'RE SMELLY.
ALL THANKS TO MY
STATE-OF-THE-ART WEIGHT SET.
UH... I DON'T WANT
TO DISAPPOINT YOU,
SPONGEBOB
BUT YOU WON'T SEE
PROGRESS LIFTING THOSE.
OH, REALLY?
THAT IS, IF YOU WANT ARMS
LIKE THESE.
HUH?
OR THESE.
OR THESE!
WELL, MAYBE I COULD USE
A LITTLE HELP.
WELL, IF YOU WANT ARMS LIKE MINE
YOU JUST GOT TO FOLLOW
MY TRAINING PROGRAM.
WOW! REALLY?
THAT'D BE GREAT, SANDY.
I CAN SEE ME NOW.
( humming light tune,
feet landing with thuds )
GOOD NIGHT, GARY.
( meows )
YEAH, THAT WOULD
CHANGE EVERYTHING.
BE AT MY PLACE
AT 5:00 A.M.
OH, AND YOU'LL NEED
A WATER HELMET.
( SpongeBob grunting )
COME ON, SPONGEBOB.
IT'S ONLY PUSHUPS.
COME ON, COME ON,
YOU CAN DO IT.
( grunting )
( groaning frenziedly )
( pop )
ONE.
( dings )
ALL RIGHT, PUT THEM UP.
( groaning )
THEY'RE UP.
DING, DING.
( panting )
( panting quickens )
( richocheting boings )
FEELING THE BURN?
I'M FEELING SOMETHING!
( screams )
( smack )
( squeaking )
WELL, NOW THAT
WE'VE GOT YOU WARMED UP
IT'S TIME FOR THE ARM CRUNCHER.
ARM CRUNCHER, GREAT.
( loud slamming )
THIS SQUIRREL'S TRYING
TO KILL ME.
THIS IS IT.
SpongeBob ( on phone ):
That's great!
We'll have to do it
again sometime-- bye.
( dial tone hums )
THIS WORKING OUT THING
ISN'T WORKING OUT.
( heartbeat throbbing )
OW!
OW!
OW!
( gruffly, on TV ):
Hey! Hey, you!
Wimpy, wimpy,
wimpy.
"Ooh, I'm a little
peanut worm."
Are you too much of
a wimp to work out?
Are you a weakling
built like a sponge?
Well, now, you, too,
can have muscles.
HUH?
WITH ANCHOR ARMS!
THEY SLIP ON LIKE A GLOVE.
JUST ADD AIR.
( air hisses )
HOW BIG DO YOU WANT THEM?
NORMAL? VEINY?
AND FOR THE LADIES... HAIRY.
( whistles )
I WAS A WIMP
BEFORE ANCHOR ARMS.
NOW I'M A JERK,
AND EVERYBODY LOVES ME.
SO ORDER NOW, WIMP!
WOW... NOW, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
( meows )
I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE HIM.
YEAH, I'VE GOT TO GET
TO A PHONE.
( slurping )
SpongeBob:
HI, SQUIDWARD.
( muffled ):
SPONGEBOB?
( humming )
( gasps )
AHOY, MR. KRABS.
MOTHER-OF-PEARL!
( all grunting )
( all gasp )
OW.
OW.
HI, GUYS.
SPONGEBOB, IS THAT YOU?
WHO ARE YOU
EXPECTING?
TINY TIM?
WAIT, WAIT...
BIG, AREN'T THEY?
DUDE, YOU'RE RIPPED.
THANK... YOU.
I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT.
EXCUSE ME A SECOND.
YEAH.
ANYONE FOR THE JUICE BAR?
I'M TELLING YOU,
HE'S HUGE!
HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN
SPONGEBOB ANYWHERE?
YOU MEAN MUSCLEBOB BUFFPANTS?
HE'S IN THERE.
UH... WHATEVER.
THANKS.
SpongeBob:
I START OFF
WITH 20 RAW EGGS EVERY DAY
BUT THAT'S JUST ME.
WORKING OUT IS MY LIFE.
I REMEMBER WHEN
I USED TO LOOK
LIKE THAT GUY OVER THERE.
WHO, ME?
( others laugh )
I REMEMBER WHEN I USED
TO LOOK LIKE YOU, TOO.
( all laugh harder )
BUT THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.
HERE'S YOUR DRINK, SIR.
THANK YOU.
( grunting )
OOP.
( grunting )
( rattling )
( grunting )
( slurps )
YEAH.
Sandy:
SPONGEBOB?
WHERE'D YOU GET THOSE MUSCLES?
I'VE CREATED
MY OWN WORKOUT ROUTINE
THAT'S GIVING ME
AMAZING RESULTS-- OOPS.
YEAH, I HAVE NEVER FELT BETTER.
HECK, WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?
WHAT?
YOUR SECRET WORKOUT--
WHAT IS IT?
( all inquire at once )
HMM-- WELL, I, UH...
FIRST I...
TAKE MY HAND AND I DO THIS.
( makes farting noise )
ARE YOU KIDDING?
DO THESE MUSCLES LIE?
( all repeat imitation farting )
I'M GLAD TO SEE
YOU'VE FOUND
AN EXERCISE PROGRAM
THAT WORKS FOR YOU.
YEAH, YOUR
WORKOUT ROUTINE
WASN'T QUITE TOUGH
ENOUGH FOR ME.
CAN'T ARGUE
WITH THOSE RESULTS.
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO NOW IS
PUT THOSE MUSCLES TO THE TEST.
UH... WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
THE MUSSEL BEACH
ANCHOR TOSS
COMPETITION.
IT'S TODAY.
HERE'S YOUR DRINK.
( air deflating )
HEY, WITH THOSE ARMS,
YOU'LL DO GREAT.
WELL, I'M NOT SURE.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
RIGHT NOW?
WAIT, WAIT, SANDY!
I DON'T THINK IT'S SUCH A...
SANDY, WAIT!
( groaning )
HERE IT IS-- THE SIGN-IN LIST.
OH, NO.
OKAY.
SANDY...
( grunting )
CHEEKS.
( groaning )
WAIT, SANDY--
DON'T SIGN JUST YET.
( frenzied struggling )
OKAY...
WAIT!
SPONGEBOB... SQUAREPANTS.
( yelling wildly )
( snaps )
SpongeBob:
OH, SANDY.
WAIT!
IT'S OKAY, SPONGEBOB.
I ALREADY SIGNED
YOUR NAME IN.
OH, GREAT.
THANKS, SANDY.
Announcer ( over p.a. ):
ARE WE ON?
WELCOME TO THE GOO LAGOON
EIGHTH ANNUAL
ANCHOR TOSS COMPETITION.
( all grunting )
( knees knocking )
READY, SPONGEBOB?
OH, YEAH, SURE, NO PROBLEM.
( blows frantically )
CAN I GET SOME MUSTARD ON THAT?
OH-- FIRST UP, DOM THE WHALE.
( all cheering )
200 YARDS!
Announcer:
WOW! LET'S SEE
AN INSTANT REPLAY.
AMAZING!
UP NEXT, LARRY THE LOBSTER.
( yells )
( screaming )
( panting )
210 YARDS!
Announcer:
HERE GOES SANDY CHEEKS.
WHOA...
YEE-AHH!
( fearful squealing )
( thud )
510 YARDS!
Announcer:
WOW! FABULOUS.
BEAT THAT,
SPONGEBOB.
UP NEXT, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS.
All ( making farting
noises and chanting ):
SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB!
( struggling, grunting )
OUCH.
( audience booing, whistling )
UH... JUST KIDDING.
( laughter and cheering )
THAT SPONGEBOB'S FUNNIER
THAN EARS ON AN ACORN.
OH, THIS IS IT.
THEY'RE ALL GOING TO FIND OUT
I'M A FAKE.
I CAN'T GIVE UP.
I'VE GOT TO TRY.
I CAN DO IT!
I'VE GOT ANCHOR ARMS.
I'M NO WIMP.
I'M A JERK!
( blows )
YEAH.
( heavy groaning )
( air hisses )
( crowd boos; air hisses )
( air hisses )
All:
OOH.
( air hisses )
( air hisses )
( boinging )
All ( chanting ):
SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB!
( screams )
( explosion )
( air whistles as arms deflate )
OOH.
I THINK HE LOST.
All ( chanting ):
SANDY! SANDY! SANDY!
( chuckles weakly )
SpongeBob:
96... 97... 98...
99... 100.
I WANT A HUNDRED MORE.
IT HURTS.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR...
I THINK WE FINALLY
FOUND AN EXERCISE
FOR YOU, SPONGEBOB.
NINE, TEN...
( pop )
CAN YOU GET THAT?
Squidward:
HAVE I TOLD YOU
HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE?
YOUR TENTACLES, YOUR NOSE,
YOUR EYES...?
A LITTLE LOPSIDED.
THERE.
AH.
AND NOW THAT I'VE
BEEN IMMORTALIZED IN WAX
I HAVE CONQUERED
ALL ARTISTIC MEDIA.
COME ON, MY PRECIOUS
REFLECTION, SMILE.
( crash )
HIKE, PATRICK, HIKE!
( SpongeBob groaning )
YOU JUST LOST THREE POINTS.
ONE...
TWO...
FIVE.
G-7!
G-7?
KING ME, KING ME!
I LOSE!
BUT IT'S NOT TUESDAY, PATRICK.
TARTAR SAUCE!
Squidward:
HEY!
WHAT ARE YOU
INVERTEBRATES DOING?
WE DON'T KNOW.
WE DON'T KNOW.
HEY, PATRICK, DO YOU
KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?
UH, YEAH, SQUIDWARD.
IT'S...
TIME TO FIND
SOME OTHER GAME TO PLAY.
( laughing )
( humming happily )
( old-time music playing )
AH!
NOW WHAT?
WE COULD TOSS THAT
SHELL BACK AND FORTH.
OKAY!
READY!
GO!
I GOT IT, I GOT IT.
I GOT IT,
I GOT IT, I GOT IT!
( statue thumps on floor )
HUH?
( mumbles )
REMEMBER, PATRICK,
FINDERS KEEPERS.
THERE IT IS!
I GOT IT! I GOT IT!
I GOT IT! I GOT IT!
BONUS POINTS.
UH, PATRICK?
I THINK SOMETHING'S WRONG
WITH SQUIDWARD.
HE LOOKS UNCONSCIOUS.
DON'T WORRY.
I KNOW
HOW TO DO THIS.
( inhaling deeply )
( breath squeaking out )
( inhaling again )
( buzzing like
deflating balloon )
GET OFF HIM,
PATRICK!
WHAT ARE YOU
WORRIED ABOUT?
HE LOOKS BETTER ALREADY.
BUT HE STILL
FEELS COLD.
WELL, LET'S GO
PUT HIM IN THE WARM.
DO YOU THINK
HE'LL BE OKAY?
YOU KNOW, YOU WORRY TOO MUCH.
THE PATRICK IS HERE
AND SPONGEBOB,
I KNOW A LOT
ABOUT HEAD INJURIES,
BELIEVE...
( snaps fingers )
ME.
HEY, WHAT'S THAT
ON YOUR SHOE?
I DON'T KNOW.
IT KIND OF
LOOKS LIKE...
SQUIDWARD!
SQUIDWARD!
( both yelling )
SpongeBob:
GET HIM OFF ME!
GO AWAY, GO AWAY!
( humming contentedly
as music continues playing )
NO, NO,
THAT PART GOES HERE.
OH, YEAH... YEAH,
TH-THAT'S IT, UH-HUH.
WE'RE ALMOST THERE.
WE CAN DO THIS.
IT'S WORKING,
IT'S WORKING.
THIS IS WORKING.
PATRICK, THIS ISN'T WORKING!
LOOK!
I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO SAY IT
BUT OUR OLD PAL
SQUIDWARD, HE'S... HE'S...
HE'S PUSHING UP DAISIES.
OH, I THOUGHT
HE WAS DEAD.
( door squeaks )
( yells )
( screams )
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
( teeth chattering )
NO!... NO!
WELL, ARE YOU TWO GOING
TO SAY SOMETHING OR...
NO, STAY BACK!
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU TWO?
DON'T! DON'T HURT US!
( sobbing ):
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
WHAT ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT?
( splat )
( screams )
LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME!
WHEN I GET MY HANDS
ON YOU, I'LL...
SpongeBob:
PLEASE, MR. SQUIDWARD GHOST.
SPARE US
YOUR GHOSTLY ANGER!
( kissing )
OH, YES,
MR. SQUIDWARD'S GHOST!
PLEASE
DON'T HAUNT US.
WE'LL DO ANYTHING
YOU WANT.
JUST HAVE
MERCY ON US!
( menacingly ):
ENOUGH.
LISTEN UP!
SQUIDWARD'S
GHOST IS FEELING
UNUSUALLY
GENEROUS TODAY.
HE HATH DECIDED
TO SPARE YE
A HORRIBLE FATE.
( hissing )
ALL YE MUST DO
IS TEND
TO MY EVERY WHIM
AND TICKLE
MY FANCY ON DEMAND.
DOES THAT
INCLUDE...
QUIET!
NOW, DO
AS YOU'RE TOLD
LEST YE INCUR THE WRATH
OF SQUIDWARD!
I THINK
THEY MAKE
A CREAM
FOR THAT NOW.
( panting and groaning )
HERE?
TOO HOT.
( huffing and puffing )
HERE?
NO, TOO WET.
KEEP GOING.
KEEP GOING.
HERE?
TOO LOOSE, LAUTREC.
( rim shot )
TOO TIRED...
PERFECT.
HMM, I FEEL... NEEDY.
SLAVES, FETCHETH ME
SOME NOURISHMENT.
ONLY THE FRESHEST,
O SPOOKY ONE.
A GRAPE FRESH FROM THE
VINE, YOUR GHOSTLINESS.
MMM, MMM, MMM!
A BANANA PEELED
TO YOUR LIKING
YOUR INCORPORIALNESS.
MMM...
( gulps )
ONE WATERMELON...
D'OH!
FRESH FROM
THE MANURE FIELD
YOUR SPOOKINESS.
ART THOU NOT PLEASED?
( spitting, sputtering )
ENOUGH OF THAT!
I WANT SOMETHING
ELSE TO EAT NOW.
SOMETHING THAT'S
VERY DIFFICULT TO FIND.
WHAT DO YOU
HUNGER FOR, MASTER?
WHATEVER YOU WANT,
WE'LL FIND IT.
WE'LL FIND IT!
CHERRY PIE.
WHERE'D
YOU GET THAT?
I FOUND IT.
WELL, GO
FIND IT AGAIN!
SPONGEBOB,
GET OVER HERE.
NOW SPIN AROUND.
THAT'S BETTER.
NOW JOG IN PLACE.
SAY "FLANK STEAK."
FLANK STEAK.
I THINK I'M BEGINNING
TO LIKE THIS.
STOP.
( feet squeal )
NOW PLAY ME
AN ELABORATE SONG
WITH THIS!
BUT... THIS IS JUST
A PIECE OF TISSUE PAPER.
OH, MY!
ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE IT
OUR WAY, DON'T WE?
OH, BOO-HOO.
( tries to play song )
I CAN'T DO IT!
WELL, I HOPE
YOU DON'T HAVE
ANY PLANS TONIGHT
BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT
ALLOWED TO LEAVE THAT SPOT
TILL I HEAR A SONG.
( crickets chirping )
( rooster crows )
Squidward:
WHAT'S THIS?
NAPPING ON THE JOB?
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
MAKING MUSIC FOR ME.
AS PUNISHMENT
FOR THIS INSOLENCE
SQUIDWARD'S GHOST
COMMANDETH YOU
TO CLEAN OUT
HIS BACK ROOM.
I FOUND IT.
I'LL TAKE THAT.
YES, YOUR GHOSTLINESS.
( slurps )
THIS IS FUN.
PATRICK, ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?
Patrick:
YES.
OKAY, LET'S GO.
PATRICK, ARE YOU COMING?
YES.
PATRICK, IT'S THIS WAY.
WHERE?
HERE.
OH! COMING!
HOW ARE WE
GOING TO CLEAN UP
ALL THIS MESS?
IT'S EASY.
JUST TEAR
THIS WALLPAPER OFF.
( guffaws )
OH, LOOK,
YOU MISSED SOME.
OH, LET'S SEE.
IT'S A COMIC BOOK,
AND LOOK AT THIS--
IT'S THE ORIGIN
OF THE FLYING DUTCHMAN.
IT SAYS WHEN HE DIED
THEY USED HIS BODY
AS A WINDOW DISPLAY.
NOW HE HAUNTS
THE SEVEN SEAS
BECAUSE HE WAS
NEVER PUT TO REST.
WELL, DON'T YOU
GET IT, PATRICK?
WE'RE GOING
TO GO SHOPPING?
NO! WE'RE GOING
TO PUT POOR OLD
SQUIDWARD TO REST.
OW! WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?
INITIATION.
( giggles )
THAT WAS PART ONE
OF YOUR CEREMONY.
CEREMONY FOR WHAT?
WE'RE GOING
TO PUT YOU TO REST.
I DON'T WANT
TO BE PUT TO REST!
ALL I WANT ARE
THOSE CHORES DONE.
NOW, DID YOU CLEAN
THE BACK ROOM YET?
YEAH.
OH, REALLY?
I'M GOING TO GO CHECK.
( screams )
OKAY, GET IN.
ARE YOU CRAZY?
I'M NOT GETTING IN.
BUT YOU SAID WE COULD
PUT YOU TO REST.
I DIDN'T SAY
ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
NOW, GET OUT
OF MY HOUSE!
OKAY.
( door closes )
( sighs )
NOW WHAT?
I WROTE
"HERE LIES SQUIDWARD.
YOU MAY NOT
REMEMBER HIM, BUT..."
( screams )
OH, HI, SQUIDWARD.
DOES THIS LOOK
DEEP ENOUGH?
SPONGEBOB,
CUT THAT OUT!
SpongeBob:
OH, LOOK, THE MOURNERS.
OH, SQUIDWARD, WE ALL CAME
AS SOON AS WE WERE
SURE YOU WERE DEAD.
SPONGEBOB, ARE YOU
TRYING TO PUT ME
IN THE NUTHOUSE?
NO, JUST
INTO THIS HOLE.
( groaning )
( sighs )
SPONGEBOB, I HAVE
A CONFESSION TO MAKE.
( squeals )
YOU'RE BALD?
NO, I'M NOT BALD!
I'M ALIVE!
NOW, GET RID
OF THAT TOMBSTONE
AND TELL ALL YOUR
FRIENDS TO GO HOME.
GO HOME.
( all grumbling )
BUT I...
MASTER...
I'M NOT YOUR MASTER.
I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR.
NOW, DO ME A FAVOR
AND STOP DOING ME FAVORS!
AS YOU WISH, MASTER.
D'OH!
BOY, HE REALLY
HAD US FOOLED.
NO, PATRICK,
HE'S THE FOOL.
HE'S A GHOST IN DENIAL.
HE NEEDS US NOW MORE THAN EVER.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
HE REALLY NEEDS TO GET
UP TO THE GREAT BEYOND.
PATRICK,
SAY THAT AGAIN.
THAT AGAIN.
NO, THE OTHER THING.
NO, THE OTHER THING.
NO, WHAT YOU SAID
BEFORE WHEN...
NO, WHAT YOU SAID
BEFORE WHEN...
NEVER MIND!
I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
NEVER MIND,
I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
( somebody exhaling )
SpongeBob
( whispering ):
I CAN'T REACH HIM.
Patrick:
BLOW HARDER.
( SpongeBob
exhaling again )
Patrick:
THERE HE GOES!
( sniffles )
ISN'T HE BEAUTIFUL?
HOW HIGH'S
HE GOING TO GO?
ALL THE WAY, PATRICK,
UP TO THE GREAT BEYOND.
( sniffles )
GOOD-BYE, FRIEND.
HAPPY TRAILS!
( yelling angrily )
YOU'RE WELCOME!
YOU'RE WELCOME!
HE'S ON
THE OTHER SIDE NOW.
YEAH.
HE'S IN
A BETTER PLACE.
( sighing )
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]
[Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]
Kids:
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
I CAN'T HEAR YOU.
( louder ):
AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!
♪ OH... ♪
♪ WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE
UNDER THE SEA? ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ ABSORBENT AND YELLOW
AND POROUS IS HE. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ IF NAUTICAL NONSENSE BE
SOMETHING YOU WISH... ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ THEN DROP ON THE DECK
AND FLOP LIKE A FISH. ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ READY?
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
♪ SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS! ♪
( laughs heartily )
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
( plays airy tune )
and NICKELODEON]
( growling and grunting )
IT'S TIME TO GROW MYSELF
LARGE AND WIDE.
( struggling )
( grunting slowly builds up )
( groaning frenziedly )
( yells )
( doorbell rings )
HOWDY, SPONGEBOB.
HOW'S IT GOING?
NOT TOO CLOSE, SANDY.
I TEND TO GET SMELLY
WHEN I'M PUMPING IRON.
CHECK IT OUT.
WELL, YOU'RE SMELLY.
ALL THANKS TO MY
STATE-OF-THE-ART WEIGHT SET.
UH... I DON'T WANT
TO DISAPPOINT YOU,
SPONGEBOB
BUT YOU WON'T SEE
PROGRESS LIFTING THOSE.
OH, REALLY?
THAT IS, IF YOU WANT ARMS
LIKE THESE.
HUH?
OR THESE.
OR THESE!
WELL, MAYBE I COULD USE
A LITTLE HELP.
WELL, IF YOU WANT ARMS LIKE MINE
YOU JUST GOT TO FOLLOW
MY TRAINING PROGRAM.
WOW! REALLY?
THAT'D BE GREAT, SANDY.
I CAN SEE ME NOW.
( humming light tune,
feet landing with thuds )
GOOD NIGHT, GARY.
( meows )
YEAH, THAT WOULD
CHANGE EVERYTHING.
BE AT MY PLACE
AT 5:00 A.M.
OH, AND YOU'LL NEED
A WATER HELMET.
( SpongeBob grunting )
COME ON, SPONGEBOB.
IT'S ONLY PUSHUPS.
COME ON, COME ON,
YOU CAN DO IT.
( grunting )
( groaning frenziedly )
( pop )
ONE.
( dings )
ALL RIGHT, PUT THEM UP.
( groaning )
THEY'RE UP.
DING, DING.
( panting )
( panting quickens )
( richocheting boings )
FEELING THE BURN?
I'M FEELING SOMETHING!
( screams )
( smack )
( squeaking )
WELL, NOW THAT
WE'VE GOT YOU WARMED UP
IT'S TIME FOR THE ARM CRUNCHER.
ARM CRUNCHER, GREAT.
( loud slamming )
THIS SQUIRREL'S TRYING
TO KILL ME.
THIS IS IT.
SpongeBob ( on phone ):
That's great!
We'll have to do it
again sometime-- bye.
( dial tone hums )
THIS WORKING OUT THING
ISN'T WORKING OUT.
( heartbeat throbbing )
OW!
OW!
OW!
( gruffly, on TV ):
Hey! Hey, you!
Wimpy, wimpy,
wimpy.
"Ooh, I'm a little
peanut worm."
Are you too much of
a wimp to work out?
Are you a weakling
built like a sponge?
Well, now, you, too,
can have muscles.
HUH?
WITH ANCHOR ARMS!
THEY SLIP ON LIKE A GLOVE.
JUST ADD AIR.
( air hisses )
HOW BIG DO YOU WANT THEM?
NORMAL? VEINY?
AND FOR THE LADIES... HAIRY.
( whistles )
I WAS A WIMP
BEFORE ANCHOR ARMS.
NOW I'M A JERK,
AND EVERYBODY LOVES ME.
SO ORDER NOW, WIMP!
WOW... NOW, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
( meows )
I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE HIM.
YEAH, I'VE GOT TO GET
TO A PHONE.
( slurping )
SpongeBob:
HI, SQUIDWARD.
( muffled ):
SPONGEBOB?
( humming )
( gasps )
AHOY, MR. KRABS.
MOTHER-OF-PEARL!
( all grunting )
( all gasp )
OW.
OW.
HI, GUYS.
SPONGEBOB, IS THAT YOU?
WHO ARE YOU
EXPECTING?
TINY TIM?
WAIT, WAIT...
BIG, AREN'T THEY?
DUDE, YOU'RE RIPPED.
THANK... YOU.
I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT.
EXCUSE ME A SECOND.
YEAH.
ANYONE FOR THE JUICE BAR?
I'M TELLING YOU,
HE'S HUGE!
HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN
SPONGEBOB ANYWHERE?
YOU MEAN MUSCLEBOB BUFFPANTS?
HE'S IN THERE.
UH... WHATEVER.
THANKS.
SpongeBob:
I START OFF
WITH 20 RAW EGGS EVERY DAY
BUT THAT'S JUST ME.
WORKING OUT IS MY LIFE.
I REMEMBER WHEN
I USED TO LOOK
LIKE THAT GUY OVER THERE.
WHO, ME?
( others laugh )
I REMEMBER WHEN I USED
TO LOOK LIKE YOU, TOO.
( all laugh harder )
BUT THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.
HERE'S YOUR DRINK, SIR.
THANK YOU.
( grunting )
OOP.
( grunting )
( rattling )
( grunting )
( slurps )
YEAH.
Sandy:
SPONGEBOB?
WHERE'D YOU GET THOSE MUSCLES?
I'VE CREATED
MY OWN WORKOUT ROUTINE
THAT'S GIVING ME
AMAZING RESULTS-- OOPS.
YEAH, I HAVE NEVER FELT BETTER.
HECK, WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?
WHAT?
YOUR SECRET WORKOUT--
WHAT IS IT?
( all inquire at once )
HMM-- WELL, I, UH...
FIRST I...
TAKE MY HAND AND I DO THIS.
( makes farting noise )
ARE YOU KIDDING?
DO THESE MUSCLES LIE?
( all repeat imitation farting )
I'M GLAD TO SEE
YOU'VE FOUND
AN EXERCISE PROGRAM
THAT WORKS FOR YOU.
YEAH, YOUR
WORKOUT ROUTINE
WASN'T QUITE TOUGH
ENOUGH FOR ME.
CAN'T ARGUE
WITH THOSE RESULTS.
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO NOW IS
PUT THOSE MUSCLES TO THE TEST.
UH... WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
THE MUSSEL BEACH
ANCHOR TOSS
COMPETITION.
IT'S TODAY.
HERE'S YOUR DRINK.
( air deflating )
HEY, WITH THOSE ARMS,
YOU'LL DO GREAT.
WELL, I'M NOT SURE.
COME ON, LET'S GO.
RIGHT NOW?
WAIT, WAIT, SANDY!
I DON'T THINK IT'S SUCH A...
SANDY, WAIT!
( groaning )
HERE IT IS-- THE SIGN-IN LIST.
OH, NO.
OKAY.
SANDY...
( grunting )
CHEEKS.
( groaning )
WAIT, SANDY--
DON'T SIGN JUST YET.
( frenzied struggling )
OKAY...
WAIT!
SPONGEBOB... SQUAREPANTS.
( yelling wildly )
( snaps )
SpongeBob:
OH, SANDY.
WAIT!
IT'S OKAY, SPONGEBOB.
I ALREADY SIGNED
YOUR NAME IN.
OH, GREAT.
THANKS, SANDY.
Announcer ( over p.a. ):
ARE WE ON?
WELCOME TO THE GOO LAGOON
EIGHTH ANNUAL
ANCHOR TOSS COMPETITION.
( all grunting )
( knees knocking )
READY, SPONGEBOB?
OH, YEAH, SURE, NO PROBLEM.
( blows frantically )
CAN I GET SOME MUSTARD ON THAT?
OH-- FIRST UP, DOM THE WHALE.
( all cheering )
200 YARDS!
Announcer:
WOW! LET'S SEE
AN INSTANT REPLAY.
AMAZING!
UP NEXT, LARRY THE LOBSTER.
( yells )
( screaming )
( panting )
210 YARDS!
Announcer:
HERE GOES SANDY CHEEKS.
WHOA...
YEE-AHH!
( fearful squealing )
( thud )
510 YARDS!
Announcer:
WOW! FABULOUS.
BEAT THAT,
SPONGEBOB.
UP NEXT, SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS.
All ( making farting
noises and chanting ):
SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB!
( struggling, grunting )
OUCH.
( audience booing, whistling )
UH... JUST KIDDING.
( laughter and cheering )
THAT SPONGEBOB'S FUNNIER
THAN EARS ON AN ACORN.
OH, THIS IS IT.
THEY'RE ALL GOING TO FIND OUT
I'M A FAKE.
I CAN'T GIVE UP.
I'VE GOT TO TRY.
I CAN DO IT!
I'VE GOT ANCHOR ARMS.
I'M NO WIMP.
I'M A JERK!
( blows )
YEAH.
( heavy groaning )
( air hisses )
( crowd boos; air hisses )
( air hisses )
All:
OOH.
( air hisses )
( air hisses )
( boinging )
All ( chanting ):
SPONGEBOB! SPONGEBOB!
( screams )
( explosion )
( air whistles as arms deflate )
OOH.
I THINK HE LOST.
All ( chanting ):
SANDY! SANDY! SANDY!
( chuckles weakly )
SpongeBob:
96... 97... 98...
99... 100.
I WANT A HUNDRED MORE.
IT HURTS.
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR...
I THINK WE FINALLY
FOUND AN EXERCISE
FOR YOU, SPONGEBOB.
NINE, TEN...
( pop )
CAN YOU GET THAT?
Squidward:
HAVE I TOLD YOU
HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE?
YOUR TENTACLES, YOUR NOSE,
YOUR EYES...?
A LITTLE LOPSIDED.
THERE.
AH.
AND NOW THAT I'VE
BEEN IMMORTALIZED IN WAX
I HAVE CONQUERED
ALL ARTISTIC MEDIA.
COME ON, MY PRECIOUS
REFLECTION, SMILE.
( crash )
HIKE, PATRICK, HIKE!
( SpongeBob groaning )
YOU JUST LOST THREE POINTS.
ONE...
TWO...
FIVE.
G-7!
G-7?
KING ME, KING ME!
I LOSE!
BUT IT'S NOT TUESDAY, PATRICK.
TARTAR SAUCE!
Squidward:
HEY!
WHAT ARE YOU
INVERTEBRATES DOING?
WE DON'T KNOW.
WE DON'T KNOW.
HEY, PATRICK, DO YOU
KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?
UH, YEAH, SQUIDWARD.
IT'S...
TIME TO FIND
SOME OTHER GAME TO PLAY.
( laughing )
( humming happily )
( old-time music playing )
AH!
NOW WHAT?
WE COULD TOSS THAT
SHELL BACK AND FORTH.
OKAY!
READY!
GO!
I GOT IT, I GOT IT.
I GOT IT,
I GOT IT, I GOT IT!
( statue thumps on floor )
HUH?
( mumbles )
REMEMBER, PATRICK,
FINDERS KEEPERS.
THERE IT IS!
I GOT IT! I GOT IT!
I GOT IT! I GOT IT!
BONUS POINTS.
UH, PATRICK?
I THINK SOMETHING'S WRONG
WITH SQUIDWARD.
HE LOOKS UNCONSCIOUS.
DON'T WORRY.
I KNOW
HOW TO DO THIS.
( inhaling deeply )
( breath squeaking out )
( inhaling again )
( buzzing like
deflating balloon )
GET OFF HIM,
PATRICK!
WHAT ARE YOU
WORRIED ABOUT?
HE LOOKS BETTER ALREADY.
BUT HE STILL
FEELS COLD.
WELL, LET'S GO
PUT HIM IN THE WARM.
DO YOU THINK
HE'LL BE OKAY?
YOU KNOW, YOU WORRY TOO MUCH.
THE PATRICK IS HERE
AND SPONGEBOB,
I KNOW A LOT
ABOUT HEAD INJURIES,
BELIEVE...
( snaps fingers )
ME.
HEY, WHAT'S THAT
ON YOUR SHOE?
I DON'T KNOW.
IT KIND OF
LOOKS LIKE...
SQUIDWARD!
SQUIDWARD!
( both yelling )
SpongeBob:
GET HIM OFF ME!
GO AWAY, GO AWAY!
( humming contentedly
as music continues playing )
NO, NO,
THAT PART GOES HERE.
OH, YEAH... YEAH,
TH-THAT'S IT, UH-HUH.
WE'RE ALMOST THERE.
WE CAN DO THIS.
IT'S WORKING,
IT'S WORKING.
THIS IS WORKING.
PATRICK, THIS ISN'T WORKING!
LOOK!
I DON'T KNOW
HOW TO SAY IT
BUT OUR OLD PAL
SQUIDWARD, HE'S... HE'S...
HE'S PUSHING UP DAISIES.
OH, I THOUGHT
HE WAS DEAD.
( door squeaks )
( yells )
( screams )
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!
( teeth chattering )
NO!... NO!
WELL, ARE YOU TWO GOING
TO SAY SOMETHING OR...
NO, STAY BACK!
WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU TWO?
DON'T! DON'T HURT US!
( sobbing ):
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
WHAT ARE YOU TWO TALKING ABOUT?
( splat )
( screams )
LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME!
WHEN I GET MY HANDS
ON YOU, I'LL...
SpongeBob:
PLEASE, MR. SQUIDWARD GHOST.
SPARE US
YOUR GHOSTLY ANGER!
( kissing )
OH, YES,
MR. SQUIDWARD'S GHOST!
PLEASE
DON'T HAUNT US.
WE'LL DO ANYTHING
YOU WANT.
JUST HAVE
MERCY ON US!
( menacingly ):
ENOUGH.
LISTEN UP!
SQUIDWARD'S
GHOST IS FEELING
UNUSUALLY
GENEROUS TODAY.
HE HATH DECIDED
TO SPARE YE
A HORRIBLE FATE.
( hissing )
ALL YE MUST DO
IS TEND
TO MY EVERY WHIM
AND TICKLE
MY FANCY ON DEMAND.
DOES THAT
INCLUDE...
QUIET!
NOW, DO
AS YOU'RE TOLD
LEST YE INCUR THE WRATH
OF SQUIDWARD!
I THINK
THEY MAKE
A CREAM
FOR THAT NOW.
( panting and groaning )
HERE?
TOO HOT.
( huffing and puffing )
HERE?
NO, TOO WET.
KEEP GOING.
KEEP GOING.
HERE?
TOO LOOSE, LAUTREC.
( rim shot )
TOO TIRED...
PERFECT.
HMM, I FEEL... NEEDY.
SLAVES, FETCHETH ME
SOME NOURISHMENT.
ONLY THE FRESHEST,
O SPOOKY ONE.
A GRAPE FRESH FROM THE
VINE, YOUR GHOSTLINESS.
MMM, MMM, MMM!
A BANANA PEELED
TO YOUR LIKING
YOUR INCORPORIALNESS.
MMM...
( gulps )
ONE WATERMELON...
D'OH!
FRESH FROM
THE MANURE FIELD
YOUR SPOOKINESS.
ART THOU NOT PLEASED?
( spitting, sputtering )
ENOUGH OF THAT!
I WANT SOMETHING
ELSE TO EAT NOW.
SOMETHING THAT'S
VERY DIFFICULT TO FIND.
WHAT DO YOU
HUNGER FOR, MASTER?
WHATEVER YOU WANT,
WE'LL FIND IT.
WE'LL FIND IT!
CHERRY PIE.
WHERE'D
YOU GET THAT?
I FOUND IT.
WELL, GO
FIND IT AGAIN!
SPONGEBOB,
GET OVER HERE.
NOW SPIN AROUND.
THAT'S BETTER.
NOW JOG IN PLACE.
SAY "FLANK STEAK."
FLANK STEAK.
I THINK I'M BEGINNING
TO LIKE THIS.
STOP.
( feet squeal )
NOW PLAY ME
AN ELABORATE SONG
WITH THIS!
BUT... THIS IS JUST
A PIECE OF TISSUE PAPER.
OH, MY!
ALWAYS HAVE TO HAVE IT
OUR WAY, DON'T WE?
OH, BOO-HOO.
( tries to play song )
I CAN'T DO IT!
WELL, I HOPE
YOU DON'T HAVE
ANY PLANS TONIGHT
BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT
ALLOWED TO LEAVE THAT SPOT
TILL I HEAR A SONG.
( crickets chirping )
( rooster crows )
Squidward:
WHAT'S THIS?
NAPPING ON THE JOB?
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
MAKING MUSIC FOR ME.
AS PUNISHMENT
FOR THIS INSOLENCE
SQUIDWARD'S GHOST
COMMANDETH YOU
TO CLEAN OUT
HIS BACK ROOM.
I FOUND IT.
I'LL TAKE THAT.
YES, YOUR GHOSTLINESS.
( slurps )
THIS IS FUN.
PATRICK, ARE YOU READY FOR THIS?
Patrick:
YES.
OKAY, LET'S GO.
PATRICK, ARE YOU COMING?
YES.
PATRICK, IT'S THIS WAY.
WHERE?
HERE.
OH! COMING!
HOW ARE WE
GOING TO CLEAN UP
ALL THIS MESS?
IT'S EASY.
JUST TEAR
THIS WALLPAPER OFF.
( guffaws )
OH, LOOK,
YOU MISSED SOME.
OH, LET'S SEE.
IT'S A COMIC BOOK,
AND LOOK AT THIS--
IT'S THE ORIGIN
OF THE FLYING DUTCHMAN.
IT SAYS WHEN HE DIED
THEY USED HIS BODY
AS A WINDOW DISPLAY.
NOW HE HAUNTS
THE SEVEN SEAS
BECAUSE HE WAS
NEVER PUT TO REST.
WELL, DON'T YOU
GET IT, PATRICK?
WE'RE GOING
TO GO SHOPPING?
NO! WE'RE GOING
TO PUT POOR OLD
SQUIDWARD TO REST.
OW! WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?
INITIATION.
( giggles )
THAT WAS PART ONE
OF YOUR CEREMONY.
CEREMONY FOR WHAT?
WE'RE GOING
TO PUT YOU TO REST.
I DON'T WANT
TO BE PUT TO REST!
ALL I WANT ARE
THOSE CHORES DONE.
NOW, DID YOU CLEAN
THE BACK ROOM YET?
YEAH.
OH, REALLY?
I'M GOING TO GO CHECK.
( screams )
OKAY, GET IN.
ARE YOU CRAZY?
I'M NOT GETTING IN.
BUT YOU SAID WE COULD
PUT YOU TO REST.
I DIDN'T SAY
ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
NOW, GET OUT
OF MY HOUSE!
OKAY.
( door closes )
( sighs )
NOW WHAT?
I WROTE
"HERE LIES SQUIDWARD.
YOU MAY NOT
REMEMBER HIM, BUT..."
( screams )
OH, HI, SQUIDWARD.
DOES THIS LOOK
DEEP ENOUGH?
SPONGEBOB,
CUT THAT OUT!
SpongeBob:
OH, LOOK, THE MOURNERS.
OH, SQUIDWARD, WE ALL CAME
AS SOON AS WE WERE
SURE YOU WERE DEAD.
SPONGEBOB, ARE YOU
TRYING TO PUT ME
IN THE NUTHOUSE?
NO, JUST
INTO THIS HOLE.
( groaning )
( sighs )
SPONGEBOB, I HAVE
A CONFESSION TO MAKE.
( squeals )
YOU'RE BALD?
NO, I'M NOT BALD!
I'M ALIVE!
NOW, GET RID
OF THAT TOMBSTONE
AND TELL ALL YOUR
FRIENDS TO GO HOME.
GO HOME.
( all grumbling )
BUT I...
MASTER...
I'M NOT YOUR MASTER.
I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR.
NOW, DO ME A FAVOR
AND STOP DOING ME FAVORS!
AS YOU WISH, MASTER.
D'OH!
BOY, HE REALLY
HAD US FOOLED.
NO, PATRICK,
HE'S THE FOOL.
HE'S A GHOST IN DENIAL.
HE NEEDS US NOW MORE THAN EVER.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
HE REALLY NEEDS TO GET
UP TO THE GREAT BEYOND.
PATRICK,
SAY THAT AGAIN.
THAT AGAIN.
NO, THE OTHER THING.
NO, THE OTHER THING.
NO, WHAT YOU SAID
BEFORE WHEN...
NO, WHAT YOU SAID
BEFORE WHEN...
NEVER MIND!
I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
NEVER MIND,
I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
( somebody exhaling )
SpongeBob
( whispering ):
I CAN'T REACH HIM.
Patrick:
BLOW HARDER.
( SpongeBob
exhaling again )
Patrick:
THERE HE GOES!
( sniffles )
ISN'T HE BEAUTIFUL?
HOW HIGH'S
HE GOING TO GO?
ALL THE WAY, PATRICK,
UP TO THE GREAT BEYOND.
( sniffles )
GOOD-BYE, FRIEND.
HAPPY TRAILS!
( yelling angrily )
YOU'RE WELCOME!
YOU'RE WELCOME!
HE'S ON
THE OTHER SIDE NOW.
YEAH.
HE'S IN
A BETTER PLACE.
( sighing )
[Captioning sponsored by THE
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
and NICKELODEON]
[Captioned by
The Caption Center
WGBH Educational Foundation]