South Park (1997–…): Season 4, Episode 7 - Chef Goes Nanners - full transcript
Chef protests the racist South Park flag.
Captioning made possible by
comedy central
? I'm going down
to south park?
? Gonna have
myself a time?
? Friendly faces
everywhere?
? Humble folks
without temptation?
? Going down
to south park?
? Gonna leave my
woes behind?
? Ample parking
day or night?
? People spouting
"howdy neighbor"?
? Headed on up
to south park?
? Gonna see if
i can't unwind?
? So come on down
to south park?
? And meet some
friends of mine?
Gentlemen, i understand you are here
to present both sides of an issue.
I want to
hear you both out,
And do this in a civil
and constructive manner,
So that i can give you both the
time and attention you deserve.
Jimbo, why don't
you begin?
Mayor, it's about
the south park flag.
Oh, jesus christ,
not this again.
We cannot change
the south park flag, mayor!
Mayor, as i've
said before
I find that flag to be
racist and insensitive.
Chef, i respect you
very much.
But you have to understand
that this hasbeen
The south park flag
since some of our ancestors,
Like my great-Grandfather,
founded this land.
That flag
represents a time
When blacks were
persecuted by whites.
How can a black man
not be bothered by it?
Alright, chef, i'll have
my assistants hold up the flag,
And you tell me what exactly
you find racist about it.
You don't see anything
wrong with that flag!
Chef, what about the baseball
team, the cleveland indians, huh?
Should they change their name
because it's racist?
Yeah.
No, because it's
their history!
Look, i have gone through
every quiet protest i could.
I've written everyone,
i've put up signs.
But now i'm telling you,
this flag will be changed!
And i'm telling you
it won't!
Oh boy.
Okay, children,
in mr. Garrison's absence,
I would like to turn the class's
attention to current issues.
Some people think the south
park flag should be changed,
While others believe that
changing the flag is wrong.
I think this is a perfect
subject for your debate club!
Aw!
Aw!
I see that you've already had a lot
of interesting debates this year...
Pro-Choice vs. Cartman,
pro-Gun control vs. Cartman,
And people against the clubbing
of baby seals vs. Cartman.
And apparently, the winner
of all your debates so far
Has been-
Cartman.
Thaaaaat's right!
Cartman doesn't
always win!
He just gets pissed off and goes
home, so we can't debate any more!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Nu-Uh, i'm just a better
debater than you guys!
You don't even know what you're
debating about half the time!
Yes, i do!
No, you don't!
Oh yeah? Well, screw
you guys, i'm going home!
Told ya.
Alright, children,
well unlike mr. Garrison,
I want you all to go out and research
this debate beforewe pick teams.
Tomorrow you will need
to choose which side
Of this poignant debate
you are on.
This is
about history, kids!
If you don't have respect
for your past,
Then you can
never expect to- Bird!
Then you can never expect
to have a future.
Nowadays, everyone wants
to change mascots and flags
Because they're
not "politically correct",
But where does
it end?
I mean, people are
gonna start saying
That the denver broncos
are offensive to horses!
And then we'll have to-
Squirrel!
And then we'll have
to change everything
And pretty soon, all our
history will be forgotten.
But toreallyunderstand the
south park flag's importance,
You need to know about
south park's history.
Ned here is
a big history buff,
And he can tell you
the whole story, ned?
In 1867, 14 pioneers
from the east coast
Travelled across
the plains-
Uh, that's okay, dude,
i think we got it.
Yeah, we got it.
You sure?
Yep.
You boys go
make me proud now,
And win that debate-
Chris peterson!
Aaaghgh!
Aw, dammit,
we missed him again!
Sign up to join me
As i march into
the mayor's office
In protest of
the south park flag!
You see that, children?
Nobody wants to get involved.
Randy, sign up
to march with me
Against the south park flag
on wednesday?
Ooh, look, chef, you know
i'm not a racist, but, ah...
I just don't really feel strongly
one way or another about the flag.
Well, alright, marsh, you're
entitled to your own opinion.
That's how it is
in this town.
I haven't gotten one
signature on this damn sheet
And i've been here
all day!
We'll march
with you, chef.
That's nice, but i need the
support of some registered voters!
Hey mackey, sign up
to march on wednesday?
Ooh, wednesday?
Wednesday's tough.
I guess maybe i could do
something thursday afternoon.
Alright, fudge it,
thursday!
Anyone else
wanna go thursday?
Thursday's no good,
we've got choir council.
Oh yeah.
What about next sunday?
Fine!
Next sunday!
You mean during
the ball game?
Yeah, we can't do sunday.
Monday?
Ooh, i can't do monday.
I could do tuesday.
Yeah, tuesday
morning's good.
You know what would be better
for me is saturday afternoon.
Saturday is
perfect for me!
Yeah, how about
saturday at 11:30?
Yeah.
Sounds good. Okay.
Yeah, i think
that's the best day.
Okay, on saturday
we march!
Ooh, march?
What are we marching for?
To bring down
the south park flag!
Oooh!
See you later.
Marching's not for me.
Well, i've counted all
your secret ballots, children
And it looks like about half of
you think the flag should stay,
And half think the flag
should be changed.
How could any of you think that
flag should stay the way it is!
Save it for
the debate, wendy!
Now, i'm going to assign
the debate leaders.
Who wants to lead the "flag
should stay the way it is" team?
Me, me!
Me, me!
Stan, how could you
be so insensitive?
What, dude? I don't see
anything wrong with that flag.
Yeah, me neither!
Alright stan and kyle, you
can both be the team leaders
For the "flag should stay
the way it is" team.
Now who wants to lead for the
"flag should be changed" team?
Heh-Heh-Heh.
Okay, wendy and eric
can team up.
No!
Heh-Heh-Heh.
Alright children,
do your homework
And let's get ready
for a great debate!
Hello, chef!
Hello, chef!
My name isn't "chef"
anymore, children.
I've converted
to islam. Islam?
From now on my name is "abdul
mohammed jabar rauf kareem ali".
With everyone in town being
so insensitive about the flag,
I find it no longer fitting
to use my slave name!
Well, we need help
with our debate club.
We have to explain why we think
the flag should not be changed.
You what?
You don't think they should
change the flag?
Not really.
What the big deal is.
Well that figures
you don't.
Because your
cracker-Ass parents
Turned you into little
cracker-Ass cracker-Racists!
I never thought i'd live to see this
many of the people i considered friends
Turn against me!
But chef, we don't know what
you're talking about-
But nothin'!
But my ass!
Fix your own
damn food!
Okay, now, in order for us to win the
debate to change the south park flag,
We will need to do
a lot of research.
Now, my plan is to divide up
into three research teams.
We will present
our argument based on-
It's okay,
i'm here!
Nice of you
to show up.
We were just discussing
how we should state our case.
Yes, this is
a difficult case.
In order to win
the debate
We'll need to attack
stan and kyle's credibility.
What?
That's how you win
these things!
Butters, take some kids and go dig up
whatever dirt you can on kyle's past.
I'm talking "boobie"
magazines, whatever.
Wu-Okay!
The rest of you,
get us the goods on stan.
His mom grounded him once
for setting something on fire,
Let's find out what
that something was-
And then lie and
say it was a puppy!
Right!
Mmm!
Cartman, we can't just attack
stan and kyle's credibility!
We need to present
our side of the debate!
You're right, we'll need to look
like we've prepared a case too,
So that they look
all the weaker, good plan.
So... what's
the issue again?
The south park flag!
Interesting...
and what side are we on?
Aaaghgh!
Whoa, calm down, ho!
Tom, i'm standing out front of
the south park mayor's office,
Where both sides
of this debate have gathered.
Change the flag!
Don't change history!
Oh brother,
what now?
Earlier today, the south park
townspeople voiced their opinions...
Well, i think that
the flag is racist.
But then again, it is
a part of our history.
Well, i guess the flag
is a part of history,
But i can see
how it is racist.
I think it is history,
I think it is racist.
Well, one thing's for sure,
tensions are high
And pressure is mounting on the
south park mayor to do something.
In the 1960s, there was a monk
who set himself on fire to protest!
You have left me
no choice!
To protest your lack
of humanity,
I will now do
the same thing!
White power! White power! White power!
What's this?
Ah, tom it looks as if the kkk has
shown up to voice their opinion!
Hello, brother, we are here
to support your noble cause!
Huh? Hey now...
we don't want your support.
We're not racists,
this is about history.
Yeah!
Well, whether you want our
support or not, we're on your side!
White power!
White power!
White power!
Mr. Garrison,
you're a klan member?
No, no,
but mr. Hat is.
White power!
White power!
Ugh, you're such a
racist bastard, mr. Hat!
White power!
Change the flag!
Don't change history!
Oh jesus,
what a mess.
Chef, we realize that you find
the south park flag racist,
And we certainly
understand your case.
We have been working
diligently on this problem,
Put in a lot of hours and we
have finally altered the flag
In a way that we think
will make you very happy.
Gentlemen?
There,
is that better?
No, dammit!
No, but look, he's got
a little smile now.
See? He's happy, much
better, don't you think?
Well, some people just won't
work with you at all!
This is getting
out of hand,
How do i absolve myself of
any responsibility with this?
Mayor, the south park
elementary children
Are discussing the flag issue
in their debate club on friday.
We could use the debate as an
excuse to hold a vote on the issue.
Yes, of course!
Let the children
be responsible!
Everybody loves children!
Tell the press!
South park elementary will be
holding a vote on friday!
This might
come in handy.
It says here that recently
a case was brought before
The south carolina courts
about their flag.
I warn you,
bog monster.
Do not mock
captain candycorn!
Oh yeah? How'd you like i
should kick you in the nuts?
If we could show a parallel
between the south carolina case...
Oomf! Oh yeah?
I'll kick you in the nuts!
Oomf! I'll kick you
in the nuts!
I'll kick you
in the nuts!
Cartman, why don't you
just go home?
You aren't helping any!
You won't let me help!
That's because you're stupid
and you're a racist.
Touche, but dude, you might
as well let me help you,
We're in this together.
I mean, just tell me
what to do and i'll do it.
Wendy, let cartman help,
seriously.
Wendy, seriously,
the bog monster speaketh.
Okay, so since
my dad's a lawyer,
He says we can use any of his books
we want, who wants to read them?
Come on, you guys, we all
have to work on this!
Kenny, how many of my dad's
mints are you gonna eat, jesus?
Mph rmph rm rmph rm!
I know your family's poor,
But you can't just eat an
entire bowl of mints for dinner!
Mprh you.
I don't think we stand
a chance in this debate
Because wendy's
leading the other side.
Dude, you're just saying that
'cause she's your girlfriend.
Mprm rmph rm rmph rm?
Yeah you can have a drink of
water, the dispenser's over there.
Yeah, you must be thirsty
after eating sixty mints!
Hey boys, how's
the research coming?
Pretty good,
i guess.
Do you think they should
change the flag?
Oh, uh, i don't know.
Kenny ate
all the mints, dad.
Oh, those weren't mints,
they were antacid tablets.
Oh.
Kenny!
Kenny! Kenny!
That was a good one!
White power!
White power!
Do not change the flag,
it is a symbol of white power!
White power!
Ugh, i'm sorry, chef.
Mr. Hat is a racist
son-Of-A-Bitch.
Don't apologize for me
to that spearchucker!
Wagh!
How can you all just stand by
and let these racists do this?
Well, chef,
it's freedom of speech.
We don't like it, but we can't
arrest them for talking.
Should the klan be allowed to
rally on the steps of the capitol?
Here's what
some people think.
Well, i think
they are racist,
But i do think freedom
of speech is important.
Well i for one, believe in
freedom of speech,
But then again, i think
they are racists...
I believe that they are
racists, but i do believe in-
Aw, to hell with all of you
indecisive bastards!
On friday, south park elementary
will present a debate
And after the debate,
there will finally be a vote.
Preliminary polls show 3
in favor of changing the flag,
3 against changing the flag
and 4,382 undecided.
So the pressure is on
those south park kids!
Well, that's enough rallying
for this afternoon, members!
Let's take
a hot shower.
Hot shower!
Hot shower! Hot shower!
Ned, nobody's gonna
vote for our side
If it's the side those
kkk members are on!
Come on, we gotta
put a stop to them!
I can't believe it,
all the pressure's on us.
I mean, this debate is going to
actually affect the outcome of the vote!
Uh-Huh.
Oh man, we've got to come up with
rebuttals to the history argument.
Why don't we just talk
huh? About the swastika?
I mean, germany was united
under the swastika, right?
But obviously, history
wasn't as important
As changing their views after the
war and stuff, so they changed it.
Hey, that's
a pretty good point, cartman.
Yeah!
Not bad at all, i'm gonna
make that our first argument!
Cool.
Doublestuff cookies
are my favorite!
Really?
Mine too!
What i really
like to do
Is i like to take tops
off of two cookies,
And then put them together
and make quadruple stuffs!
Hey, that's what
i always to do too!
No way!
Yeah!
Jesus, i never thought i'd have any
thing in common with you, cartman.
Me neither!
Ha-Ha.
Huh.
Well, anyway, let's
get back to work.
Whoa.
Weird, um, okay.
Now let's say that first we talk
about the history of the flag.
We can show that the-
Sorry, go ahead.
No, you go ahead.
Mr. Hat, what do you
think you're doing?
There's another
klan rally tonight.
I have to be there
in fifteen minutes.
Oh no, mr. Hat, you are not
dragging me to another klan meeting.
But they're electing a new
assistant to the grand dragon.
I might get elected!
Well, good for you,
puppet pants!
I'll have nothing
to do with it!
I'm going whether
you like it or not!
Oh yeah?
I'm not going, mr. Hat,
and that's final.
Let's just see you try
and go without me!
Mr. Hat!
White power! White power!
White power!
Alright, ned, we've got
to be careful.
These are mean, evil men
we are dealing with.
Okay.
Dammit, ned, doesn't that
thing have a volume control?
No.
White power!
White power!
Good evening,
brothers!
Our first order
of business tonight
Is to have brother anderson
update us on last week's minutes.
Last week we decided that
we hate blacks and jews.
Alright, and now, it is time for
us all to come together and...
Do our cake raffle!
Ooh!
Cake raffle!
This week's winner is...
2-9-7-4.
I won! I won!
I won the cake!
Good job,
brother!
Cartman!
Say it will be
like this forever.
Okay, it will be
like this forever.
Oh, cartman.
Agh!
Brrrrrrrr!
What's wrong with me?
It's okay,
get a grip, girl.
Wendy!
Wendy!
Agh!
Wendy.
Oh god, please don't
let this be happening.
Alright, brothers,
listen up!
As you know, this fine city
is holding a vote
On whether or not
to change their flag,
But lynching minorities
is history!
So what are we
gonna do about it?
Let's say that if they change the
flag, we'll burn down the capital!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Let's say that if they change the
flag, we'll never leave this town!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Let's say they should
change the flag!
What's that, brother?
I think we should
switch sides!
Me too,
that's a good idea.
Look, we have to
accept the fact
That most people in the
world hate us, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So whatever side
we're on,
Is the side that's
gonna lose, right?
Right. Right.
So why don't we all say
that we want the flag changed.
That way, most folks will vote
to keep it the way it is!
Great idea, brother!
Yeah! Yeah!
Alright, it is decided!
We will officially tell everyone
that we want the flag changed,
So that they will all
vote against us!
Hooray!
We're smart!
That worked
perfectly, ned!
Alright, well, now that
all that's out of the way,
It's time to play "who's got the
silliest thing on under their robe?"
Hooray!
Woo-Hoo!
Jesus, ned, these guys
are completely nuts.
Yup.
That is the most insane
thing i've ever seen.
I can't believe those
people are on our side.
I mean, is our side
that crazy?
Oh, hello, chef, big
debate tomorrow, i guess.
Oh jesus, the robes!
Chef, this isn't what it looks
like! You gotta listen to us-
I ain't gonna listen
to nothing!
This whole cracker-Ass town
can kiss my ass!
Ned, i'm startin' to think maybe
history ain't worth defending sometimes.
Thanks for
coming over, bebe.
I have something to
tell you. Sure, what?
Bebe, i'm attracted
to cartman.
Aaaaaaagggghhhhhh!
I know.
Why would you
tell me this?
Why would you
tell anyone this?
Because i don't know
what to do!
I can't concentrate and
if i can't concentrate,
Then i can't win
the debate tomorrow!
The whole vote is dependent
on me doing a good job.
Alright, look,
When two people work
closely for a long time,
Sometimes they feel what's
called "sexual tension".
Sometimes you just have to act on
the impulse and get it over with.
You mean,
i should kiss him?
Kiss him and get it
out of your system.
Oh god!
Well, i certainly would like
to thank all the parents
For their support
of our debate club.
I realize that many of you are
torn by the issues as well,
So perhaps the children
can shed some light on us!
We'll start with
wendy testaburger,
On the "flag should
be changed" team!
The, the, uh...
The, uh...
The first argument
we, uh...
Lemme start over.
The, uh... oh god!
Could you all excuse me
for a moment?
There, now, the main point
we would like to make
Is that oftentimes, it is
prudent to change history.
As times change,
we hope to grow,
And as we grow,
our rules must change,
It is a natural part
of evolution, thank you.
Okay, and kyle and stan's team,
your main point?
Our main point is that the
flag shouldn't offend anyone
Because killing has been around
since the beginning of time.
All animals kill
And the animals that
don't kill are stupid ones,
Like cows and
turtles and stuff.
So, people should not be
so upset about killing.
Thank you.
Woah, woah, woah! You just
missed the point entirely!
Huh?
I'm not mad because the flag
shows somebody getting killed,
It's because
it's racist!
Racist?
Racist?
Children, don't you even know
what this argument is about?
That flag is racist because a black
man is being hung by white people!
Ooohhhh!
Ooohhhh!
Ooohhhh?
We didn't really
see it that way.
But that's a black man
up there!
Yeah, but the color of
someone's skin doesn't matter.
Well, of course
it matters when-
Oh my god,
wait a minute!
You children didn't
even see the flag
As a black man being hanged
by white people, did you?
No. No.
Why that is...
That is the most beautiful
thing i've ever heard.
What?
What?
Don't you see?
All this time i thought these
little crackers had turned racist,
When actually,
they were sonotracist
That they didn't even make a separation
of black and white to begin with.
All they saw when
they looked at that flag
Was five people.
Aw!
Yeah.
I'm sorry, children,
i was wrong about you.
But i still think the flag
needs to be changed.
But now i realize that
i almost let racism
Turn me into a racist.
Yeah, you know, i suddenly found
myself on the side of klan members.
I've never had anything
against blacks, chef.
Aw, i know you don't, jimbo.
I've known you for
almost ten years.
You're a good man.
We've been way to divisive
over this, chef.
Maybe we can come up
with a compromise flag.
Something that everybody
can be happy with.
I think that's a much better start
than me trying to separate myself
From all you
wonderful crackers!
Oh, sweet, dude, i don't think we
have to do this stupid debate now!
Stan?
Well, this has been an
interesting week in south park.
We've all done a lot
of growing this week.
Everyone was afraid to
take a stand on this issue.
But now we have learned
once again
That black, white, yellow, brown
or whatever, we are all just people.
And so, i am very excited
to unveil
Our new south park flag!
Wait, i don't get it.
No, see, there's people
of all colors.
And they added a black guy as one of
the hangers too, so it's not racist.
Hooray!
I have to admit it,
that is a lot nicer.
Whew! I'm sure glad
that's over with! Me too!
I can't believe how right bebe was about
feeling under pressure with somebody.
As soon as it was over, all my
feelings for you just vanished!
Oh, yeah,
yeah totally.
I'm totally back to normal,
see ya later!
Yeah, see ya later.
"Ho", huh-Huh.
Ha-Ha!
Stan!
Stan wait up!
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? I'm going down
to south park?
? Gonna have
myself a time?
? Friendly faces
everywhere?
? Humble folks
without temptation?
? Going down
to south park?
? Gonna leave my
woes behind?
? Ample parking
day or night?
? People spouting
"howdy neighbor"?
? Headed on up
to south park?
? Gonna see if
i can't unwind?
? So come on down
to south park?
? And meet some
friends of mine?
Gentlemen, i understand you are here
to present both sides of an issue.
I want to
hear you both out,
And do this in a civil
and constructive manner,
So that i can give you both the
time and attention you deserve.
Jimbo, why don't
you begin?
Mayor, it's about
the south park flag.
Oh, jesus christ,
not this again.
We cannot change
the south park flag, mayor!
Mayor, as i've
said before
I find that flag to be
racist and insensitive.
Chef, i respect you
very much.
But you have to understand
that this hasbeen
The south park flag
since some of our ancestors,
Like my great-Grandfather,
founded this land.
That flag
represents a time
When blacks were
persecuted by whites.
How can a black man
not be bothered by it?
Alright, chef, i'll have
my assistants hold up the flag,
And you tell me what exactly
you find racist about it.
You don't see anything
wrong with that flag!
Chef, what about the baseball
team, the cleveland indians, huh?
Should they change their name
because it's racist?
Yeah.
No, because it's
their history!
Look, i have gone through
every quiet protest i could.
I've written everyone,
i've put up signs.
But now i'm telling you,
this flag will be changed!
And i'm telling you
it won't!
Oh boy.
Okay, children,
in mr. Garrison's absence,
I would like to turn the class's
attention to current issues.
Some people think the south
park flag should be changed,
While others believe that
changing the flag is wrong.
I think this is a perfect
subject for your debate club!
Aw!
Aw!
I see that you've already had a lot
of interesting debates this year...
Pro-Choice vs. Cartman,
pro-Gun control vs. Cartman,
And people against the clubbing
of baby seals vs. Cartman.
And apparently, the winner
of all your debates so far
Has been-
Cartman.
Thaaaaat's right!
Cartman doesn't
always win!
He just gets pissed off and goes
home, so we can't debate any more!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Nu-Uh, i'm just a better
debater than you guys!
You don't even know what you're
debating about half the time!
Yes, i do!
No, you don't!
Oh yeah? Well, screw
you guys, i'm going home!
Told ya.
Alright, children,
well unlike mr. Garrison,
I want you all to go out and research
this debate beforewe pick teams.
Tomorrow you will need
to choose which side
Of this poignant debate
you are on.
This is
about history, kids!
If you don't have respect
for your past,
Then you can
never expect to- Bird!
Then you can never expect
to have a future.
Nowadays, everyone wants
to change mascots and flags
Because they're
not "politically correct",
But where does
it end?
I mean, people are
gonna start saying
That the denver broncos
are offensive to horses!
And then we'll have to-
Squirrel!
And then we'll have
to change everything
And pretty soon, all our
history will be forgotten.
But toreallyunderstand the
south park flag's importance,
You need to know about
south park's history.
Ned here is
a big history buff,
And he can tell you
the whole story, ned?
In 1867, 14 pioneers
from the east coast
Travelled across
the plains-
Uh, that's okay, dude,
i think we got it.
Yeah, we got it.
You sure?
Yep.
You boys go
make me proud now,
And win that debate-
Chris peterson!
Aaaghgh!
Aw, dammit,
we missed him again!
Sign up to join me
As i march into
the mayor's office
In protest of
the south park flag!
You see that, children?
Nobody wants to get involved.
Randy, sign up
to march with me
Against the south park flag
on wednesday?
Ooh, look, chef, you know
i'm not a racist, but, ah...
I just don't really feel strongly
one way or another about the flag.
Well, alright, marsh, you're
entitled to your own opinion.
That's how it is
in this town.
I haven't gotten one
signature on this damn sheet
And i've been here
all day!
We'll march
with you, chef.
That's nice, but i need the
support of some registered voters!
Hey mackey, sign up
to march on wednesday?
Ooh, wednesday?
Wednesday's tough.
I guess maybe i could do
something thursday afternoon.
Alright, fudge it,
thursday!
Anyone else
wanna go thursday?
Thursday's no good,
we've got choir council.
Oh yeah.
What about next sunday?
Fine!
Next sunday!
You mean during
the ball game?
Yeah, we can't do sunday.
Monday?
Ooh, i can't do monday.
I could do tuesday.
Yeah, tuesday
morning's good.
You know what would be better
for me is saturday afternoon.
Saturday is
perfect for me!
Yeah, how about
saturday at 11:30?
Yeah.
Sounds good. Okay.
Yeah, i think
that's the best day.
Okay, on saturday
we march!
Ooh, march?
What are we marching for?
To bring down
the south park flag!
Oooh!
See you later.
Marching's not for me.
Well, i've counted all
your secret ballots, children
And it looks like about half of
you think the flag should stay,
And half think the flag
should be changed.
How could any of you think that
flag should stay the way it is!
Save it for
the debate, wendy!
Now, i'm going to assign
the debate leaders.
Who wants to lead the "flag
should stay the way it is" team?
Me, me!
Me, me!
Stan, how could you
be so insensitive?
What, dude? I don't see
anything wrong with that flag.
Yeah, me neither!
Alright stan and kyle, you
can both be the team leaders
For the "flag should stay
the way it is" team.
Now who wants to lead for the
"flag should be changed" team?
Heh-Heh-Heh.
Okay, wendy and eric
can team up.
No!
Heh-Heh-Heh.
Alright children,
do your homework
And let's get ready
for a great debate!
Hello, chef!
Hello, chef!
My name isn't "chef"
anymore, children.
I've converted
to islam. Islam?
From now on my name is "abdul
mohammed jabar rauf kareem ali".
With everyone in town being
so insensitive about the flag,
I find it no longer fitting
to use my slave name!
Well, we need help
with our debate club.
We have to explain why we think
the flag should not be changed.
You what?
You don't think they should
change the flag?
Not really.
What the big deal is.
Well that figures
you don't.
Because your
cracker-Ass parents
Turned you into little
cracker-Ass cracker-Racists!
I never thought i'd live to see this
many of the people i considered friends
Turn against me!
But chef, we don't know what
you're talking about-
But nothin'!
But my ass!
Fix your own
damn food!
Okay, now, in order for us to win the
debate to change the south park flag,
We will need to do
a lot of research.
Now, my plan is to divide up
into three research teams.
We will present
our argument based on-
It's okay,
i'm here!
Nice of you
to show up.
We were just discussing
how we should state our case.
Yes, this is
a difficult case.
In order to win
the debate
We'll need to attack
stan and kyle's credibility.
What?
That's how you win
these things!
Butters, take some kids and go dig up
whatever dirt you can on kyle's past.
I'm talking "boobie"
magazines, whatever.
Wu-Okay!
The rest of you,
get us the goods on stan.
His mom grounded him once
for setting something on fire,
Let's find out what
that something was-
And then lie and
say it was a puppy!
Right!
Mmm!
Cartman, we can't just attack
stan and kyle's credibility!
We need to present
our side of the debate!
You're right, we'll need to look
like we've prepared a case too,
So that they look
all the weaker, good plan.
So... what's
the issue again?
The south park flag!
Interesting...
and what side are we on?
Aaaghgh!
Whoa, calm down, ho!
Tom, i'm standing out front of
the south park mayor's office,
Where both sides
of this debate have gathered.
Change the flag!
Don't change history!
Oh brother,
what now?
Earlier today, the south park
townspeople voiced their opinions...
Well, i think that
the flag is racist.
But then again, it is
a part of our history.
Well, i guess the flag
is a part of history,
But i can see
how it is racist.
I think it is history,
I think it is racist.
Well, one thing's for sure,
tensions are high
And pressure is mounting on the
south park mayor to do something.
In the 1960s, there was a monk
who set himself on fire to protest!
You have left me
no choice!
To protest your lack
of humanity,
I will now do
the same thing!
White power! White power! White power!
What's this?
Ah, tom it looks as if the kkk has
shown up to voice their opinion!
Hello, brother, we are here
to support your noble cause!
Huh? Hey now...
we don't want your support.
We're not racists,
this is about history.
Yeah!
Well, whether you want our
support or not, we're on your side!
White power!
White power!
White power!
Mr. Garrison,
you're a klan member?
No, no,
but mr. Hat is.
White power!
White power!
Ugh, you're such a
racist bastard, mr. Hat!
White power!
Change the flag!
Don't change history!
Oh jesus,
what a mess.
Chef, we realize that you find
the south park flag racist,
And we certainly
understand your case.
We have been working
diligently on this problem,
Put in a lot of hours and we
have finally altered the flag
In a way that we think
will make you very happy.
Gentlemen?
There,
is that better?
No, dammit!
No, but look, he's got
a little smile now.
See? He's happy, much
better, don't you think?
Well, some people just won't
work with you at all!
This is getting
out of hand,
How do i absolve myself of
any responsibility with this?
Mayor, the south park
elementary children
Are discussing the flag issue
in their debate club on friday.
We could use the debate as an
excuse to hold a vote on the issue.
Yes, of course!
Let the children
be responsible!
Everybody loves children!
Tell the press!
South park elementary will be
holding a vote on friday!
This might
come in handy.
It says here that recently
a case was brought before
The south carolina courts
about their flag.
I warn you,
bog monster.
Do not mock
captain candycorn!
Oh yeah? How'd you like i
should kick you in the nuts?
If we could show a parallel
between the south carolina case...
Oomf! Oh yeah?
I'll kick you in the nuts!
Oomf! I'll kick you
in the nuts!
I'll kick you
in the nuts!
Cartman, why don't you
just go home?
You aren't helping any!
You won't let me help!
That's because you're stupid
and you're a racist.
Touche, but dude, you might
as well let me help you,
We're in this together.
I mean, just tell me
what to do and i'll do it.
Wendy, let cartman help,
seriously.
Wendy, seriously,
the bog monster speaketh.
Okay, so since
my dad's a lawyer,
He says we can use any of his books
we want, who wants to read them?
Come on, you guys, we all
have to work on this!
Kenny, how many of my dad's
mints are you gonna eat, jesus?
Mph rmph rm rmph rm!
I know your family's poor,
But you can't just eat an
entire bowl of mints for dinner!
Mprh you.
I don't think we stand
a chance in this debate
Because wendy's
leading the other side.
Dude, you're just saying that
'cause she's your girlfriend.
Mprm rmph rm rmph rm?
Yeah you can have a drink of
water, the dispenser's over there.
Yeah, you must be thirsty
after eating sixty mints!
Hey boys, how's
the research coming?
Pretty good,
i guess.
Do you think they should
change the flag?
Oh, uh, i don't know.
Kenny ate
all the mints, dad.
Oh, those weren't mints,
they were antacid tablets.
Oh.
Kenny!
Kenny! Kenny!
That was a good one!
White power!
White power!
Do not change the flag,
it is a symbol of white power!
White power!
Ugh, i'm sorry, chef.
Mr. Hat is a racist
son-Of-A-Bitch.
Don't apologize for me
to that spearchucker!
Wagh!
How can you all just stand by
and let these racists do this?
Well, chef,
it's freedom of speech.
We don't like it, but we can't
arrest them for talking.
Should the klan be allowed to
rally on the steps of the capitol?
Here's what
some people think.
Well, i think
they are racist,
But i do think freedom
of speech is important.
Well i for one, believe in
freedom of speech,
But then again, i think
they are racists...
I believe that they are
racists, but i do believe in-
Aw, to hell with all of you
indecisive bastards!
On friday, south park elementary
will present a debate
And after the debate,
there will finally be a vote.
Preliminary polls show 3
in favor of changing the flag,
3 against changing the flag
and 4,382 undecided.
So the pressure is on
those south park kids!
Well, that's enough rallying
for this afternoon, members!
Let's take
a hot shower.
Hot shower!
Hot shower! Hot shower!
Ned, nobody's gonna
vote for our side
If it's the side those
kkk members are on!
Come on, we gotta
put a stop to them!
I can't believe it,
all the pressure's on us.
I mean, this debate is going to
actually affect the outcome of the vote!
Uh-Huh.
Oh man, we've got to come up with
rebuttals to the history argument.
Why don't we just talk
huh? About the swastika?
I mean, germany was united
under the swastika, right?
But obviously, history
wasn't as important
As changing their views after the
war and stuff, so they changed it.
Hey, that's
a pretty good point, cartman.
Yeah!
Not bad at all, i'm gonna
make that our first argument!
Cool.
Doublestuff cookies
are my favorite!
Really?
Mine too!
What i really
like to do
Is i like to take tops
off of two cookies,
And then put them together
and make quadruple stuffs!
Hey, that's what
i always to do too!
No way!
Yeah!
Jesus, i never thought i'd have any
thing in common with you, cartman.
Me neither!
Ha-Ha.
Huh.
Well, anyway, let's
get back to work.
Whoa.
Weird, um, okay.
Now let's say that first we talk
about the history of the flag.
We can show that the-
Sorry, go ahead.
No, you go ahead.
Mr. Hat, what do you
think you're doing?
There's another
klan rally tonight.
I have to be there
in fifteen minutes.
Oh no, mr. Hat, you are not
dragging me to another klan meeting.
But they're electing a new
assistant to the grand dragon.
I might get elected!
Well, good for you,
puppet pants!
I'll have nothing
to do with it!
I'm going whether
you like it or not!
Oh yeah?
I'm not going, mr. Hat,
and that's final.
Let's just see you try
and go without me!
Mr. Hat!
White power! White power!
White power!
Alright, ned, we've got
to be careful.
These are mean, evil men
we are dealing with.
Okay.
Dammit, ned, doesn't that
thing have a volume control?
No.
White power!
White power!
Good evening,
brothers!
Our first order
of business tonight
Is to have brother anderson
update us on last week's minutes.
Last week we decided that
we hate blacks and jews.
Alright, and now, it is time for
us all to come together and...
Do our cake raffle!
Ooh!
Cake raffle!
This week's winner is...
2-9-7-4.
I won! I won!
I won the cake!
Good job,
brother!
Cartman!
Say it will be
like this forever.
Okay, it will be
like this forever.
Oh, cartman.
Agh!
Brrrrrrrr!
What's wrong with me?
It's okay,
get a grip, girl.
Wendy!
Wendy!
Agh!
Wendy.
Oh god, please don't
let this be happening.
Alright, brothers,
listen up!
As you know, this fine city
is holding a vote
On whether or not
to change their flag,
But lynching minorities
is history!
So what are we
gonna do about it?
Let's say that if they change the
flag, we'll burn down the capital!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Let's say that if they change the
flag, we'll never leave this town!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Let's say they should
change the flag!
What's that, brother?
I think we should
switch sides!
Me too,
that's a good idea.
Look, we have to
accept the fact
That most people in the
world hate us, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So whatever side
we're on,
Is the side that's
gonna lose, right?
Right. Right.
So why don't we all say
that we want the flag changed.
That way, most folks will vote
to keep it the way it is!
Great idea, brother!
Yeah! Yeah!
Alright, it is decided!
We will officially tell everyone
that we want the flag changed,
So that they will all
vote against us!
Hooray!
We're smart!
That worked
perfectly, ned!
Alright, well, now that
all that's out of the way,
It's time to play "who's got the
silliest thing on under their robe?"
Hooray!
Woo-Hoo!
Jesus, ned, these guys
are completely nuts.
Yup.
That is the most insane
thing i've ever seen.
I can't believe those
people are on our side.
I mean, is our side
that crazy?
Oh, hello, chef, big
debate tomorrow, i guess.
Oh jesus, the robes!
Chef, this isn't what it looks
like! You gotta listen to us-
I ain't gonna listen
to nothing!
This whole cracker-Ass town
can kiss my ass!
Ned, i'm startin' to think maybe
history ain't worth defending sometimes.
Thanks for
coming over, bebe.
I have something to
tell you. Sure, what?
Bebe, i'm attracted
to cartman.
Aaaaaaagggghhhhhh!
I know.
Why would you
tell me this?
Why would you
tell anyone this?
Because i don't know
what to do!
I can't concentrate and
if i can't concentrate,
Then i can't win
the debate tomorrow!
The whole vote is dependent
on me doing a good job.
Alright, look,
When two people work
closely for a long time,
Sometimes they feel what's
called "sexual tension".
Sometimes you just have to act on
the impulse and get it over with.
You mean,
i should kiss him?
Kiss him and get it
out of your system.
Oh god!
Well, i certainly would like
to thank all the parents
For their support
of our debate club.
I realize that many of you are
torn by the issues as well,
So perhaps the children
can shed some light on us!
We'll start with
wendy testaburger,
On the "flag should
be changed" team!
The, the, uh...
The, uh...
The first argument
we, uh...
Lemme start over.
The, uh... oh god!
Could you all excuse me
for a moment?
There, now, the main point
we would like to make
Is that oftentimes, it is
prudent to change history.
As times change,
we hope to grow,
And as we grow,
our rules must change,
It is a natural part
of evolution, thank you.
Okay, and kyle and stan's team,
your main point?
Our main point is that the
flag shouldn't offend anyone
Because killing has been around
since the beginning of time.
All animals kill
And the animals that
don't kill are stupid ones,
Like cows and
turtles and stuff.
So, people should not be
so upset about killing.
Thank you.
Woah, woah, woah! You just
missed the point entirely!
Huh?
I'm not mad because the flag
shows somebody getting killed,
It's because
it's racist!
Racist?
Racist?
Children, don't you even know
what this argument is about?
That flag is racist because a black
man is being hung by white people!
Ooohhhh!
Ooohhhh!
Ooohhhh?
We didn't really
see it that way.
But that's a black man
up there!
Yeah, but the color of
someone's skin doesn't matter.
Well, of course
it matters when-
Oh my god,
wait a minute!
You children didn't
even see the flag
As a black man being hanged
by white people, did you?
No. No.
Why that is...
That is the most beautiful
thing i've ever heard.
What?
What?
Don't you see?
All this time i thought these
little crackers had turned racist,
When actually,
they were sonotracist
That they didn't even make a separation
of black and white to begin with.
All they saw when
they looked at that flag
Was five people.
Aw!
Yeah.
I'm sorry, children,
i was wrong about you.
But i still think the flag
needs to be changed.
But now i realize that
i almost let racism
Turn me into a racist.
Yeah, you know, i suddenly found
myself on the side of klan members.
I've never had anything
against blacks, chef.
Aw, i know you don't, jimbo.
I've known you for
almost ten years.
You're a good man.
We've been way to divisive
over this, chef.
Maybe we can come up
with a compromise flag.
Something that everybody
can be happy with.
I think that's a much better start
than me trying to separate myself
From all you
wonderful crackers!
Oh, sweet, dude, i don't think we
have to do this stupid debate now!
Stan?
Well, this has been an
interesting week in south park.
We've all done a lot
of growing this week.
Everyone was afraid to
take a stand on this issue.
But now we have learned
once again
That black, white, yellow, brown
or whatever, we are all just people.
And so, i am very excited
to unveil
Our new south park flag!
Wait, i don't get it.
No, see, there's people
of all colors.
And they added a black guy as one of
the hangers too, so it's not racist.
Hooray!
I have to admit it,
that is a lot nicer.
Whew! I'm sure glad
that's over with! Me too!
I can't believe how right bebe was about
feeling under pressure with somebody.
As soon as it was over, all my
feelings for you just vanished!
Oh, yeah,
yeah totally.
I'm totally back to normal,
see ya later!
Yeah, see ya later.
"Ho", huh-Huh.
Ha-Ha!
Stan!
Stan wait up!
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