Some Assembly Required (2014–2016): Season 2, Episode 13 - Snappo - full transcript
The founder of building block company. Snappo, visits Knickknack and says he wants Jarvis to take over his empire. But is Tobias Blaabjerg everything he seems?
♪ Here we go ♪
[thick accent]:
Good morning!
My name is Blaabjerg.
I have yust arrived and am here
to see the president.
The president?
He lives in the White House.
No, this is the place
I am looking for.
But this place isn't white.
It's red and blue and yellow
and grey and pink
and another kind of red.
Could we please dispense
with all the yibber-yabber?
I have yourneyed
a great distance
with an important message
for your president.
Okay.
So if I understand correctly...
your name is Blaabjerg...
Ja.
You have travelled
a great distance...
Ja.
With a message
for the president...
Ja.
Got it.
One moment, please.
[dials]
[screaming] Help!
We are under alien attack!
What? No!
I am from Denmark.
From the Planet Denmark!
[♪♪♪]
♪ Buckle up ♪
♪ And hold on tight ♪
♪ You and me
on a wild ride ♪
♪ We're gonna own it
and change the game ♪
♪ Together we'll make it
all the way ♪
♪ Through all the ups
and all the downs, downs ♪
♪ We'll always find
our way around ♪
♪ So here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ Here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ Yeah, here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ You got me ♪
♪ I got you ♪
♪ Here we go ♪
I'm sorry
for the mix-up earlier.
I know it may not
seem like it,
but Geneva is more
than just a pretty face.
She also has really
nice smelling hair.
[zapping]
Get away,
you evil creature!
Geneva, we told you.
He's not an alien!
I know.
I'm firing at you.
[zapping]
Anyway, I've never seen
a briefcase made of Snappo.
Where'd you get it?
At the Snappo factory.
Which I own.
I am Tobias Blaabjerg,
the founder of Snappo.
Here is my
business card.
And here are the instructions
to assemble my business card.
It's great to meet you!
I remember
my first Snappo set.
It was a pirate ship!
I am glad to see Snappo
makes you yump for yoy.
I was much like you
when I was young.
Devastatingly handsome?
Well... ja.
And I loved toys
more than anything.
Which brings me to
what brings me here.
I would much like you
to have Snappo.
I have worked
for many years,
and it is time to retire
to my private island...
which is also
made of Snappo.
It's beautiful,
but it hurts to go yogging
barefoot on the beach.
Taking over Snappo
would be a dream come true,
but I can't afford to buy
a multi-million dollar company.
I only got this one
because the last owner
was such an incompetent loser.
Oof!
Love the enthusiastic sweeping,
Mrs. Bubkes,
but let's try to focus
on the floors.
I am not interested
in money.
I built my company
brick by brick...
by brick, by brick, by brick,
by brick, by brick, by brick...
Well, it was a big yob.
The point is,
what's important to me
is that Snappo ends up
in the right hands.
Jarvis has the right hands.
Look at them!
They're so strong...
yet smooth and soft
to the touch.
I would just ask you to cover
the costs of the transfer.
Say, $25,000?
Only $25,000?
This could be my chance
to get back in the toy business!
And out of the stealing
toy businesses business.
Well, that's
an amazing offer!
You've got yourself
a deal!
Yippee! I am really
yazzed about this!
[♪♪♪]
What is this?
Jarvis asked me
to hire a painter.
So I did...
me.
Are you sure
you should be doing that
yourself?
Everything you do goes badly.
What?
I bet you can't name
one thing I've done
that's gone badly!
You got locked in a desk
for three days,
ate rotten pizza
and thought you were a cartoon,
flew a bicycle into power lines,
and crushed an old lady
in a moosetrap.
See?
That was way more
than one thing.
And how about creating
Mmm-boing?
You still don't know
where that ball is.
[Mmm-boing bounces]
Sure I do.
He's over there.
Now he's over there.
[bounces]
Now he's over there.
Now he's over there.
Now he's over there.
Now he's over there.
Now he's over there.
Now he's over there.
Now he's on your desk,
on your desk, on your desk...
Aah!
Shoo! Shoo!
Bowie!
I was going to use this canvas
to make myself
five pairs of pants!
Short pants?
No.
Just sign here,
and Snappo will be
all yours, Yarvis.
Wait!
If you want Snappo
to be in the right hands,
it should be these hands.
Oops!
I mean these hands.
I love Snappo
way more than Yarvis.
[laughs]
Please.
I'm about to sign this contract
on my Snappo desk.
Big deal!
So you've got a Snappo desk.
I've got a Snappo dog!
Who wants a treat?
That's nothing.
I'm wearing Snappo underpants.
[unbuckling]
I drive a car made
entirely out of Snappo!
It's in the shop now,
getting a new...
engine block,
but I totally have one.
Well, I have a life-sized,
fully remote-controlled
Snappo replica of myself.
No, you don't!
Well, I did.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
Okay, Mr. Blaabjerg.
I know you're
trying to decide
whether to sell
your company
to me or Candace,
but you should know,
I have big plans for Snappo!
I want to build
a Snappo hotel...
Snappoland theme park...
And the S.S. Snappo
Cruise Ship!
We're still working out
the Snappo-isn't-watertight
problem.
Yarvis, Yarvis...
Yust stop.
I have finished yudging
and made my decision.
Well, I hope you
yudged me favourably.
I did.
Yarvis, Snappo is yours.
You are the only choice.
Candace...
Snappo is yours.
You are
the only choice.
Thank you, thank you!
Come on, boy, let's go get
Mr. Blaabjerg his money.
[no accent] You do that...
sucker.
[squish]
Aw, come on!
What kind of person
doesn't clean up
after their dog?
[♪♪♪]
[Aster]: Bowie!
Guess what happened!
You ran over to me
and asked me
to guess what happened!
No.
Yes!
That's what happened.
And I guessed it!
What do I win?
Just listen to me!
You know this piece of canvas
Mmm-boing ruined?
Well, I posted it on ArtBay,
hoping to get five bucks
by selling it as scrap.
Really?
No one's going to pay
five bucks for that.
You're right.
They paid 800!
People thought it was
an amazing piece
by a gifted new artist,
and the bidding
went crazy.
That's incredible!
Where's my money?
Probably in
a velcro wallet.
I mean
my eight hundred dollars.
I created Mmm-boing.
It was my canvas.
It was my paint.
I'm the one who sold it.
I won a guessing contest,
and I'm still owed a prize.
Wait. Why are we
fighting about this?
Because we don't
like each other.
That's not true!
You like me.
But what I mean is,
instead of fighting,
we should go into
business together.
You're saying
we get "the artist"
to create more masterpieces?
Right.
We just need Mmm-boing
to paint again.
Where is he?
[bouncing]
Over there, over there,
over there, over there...
On your face, on your face,
on your face, on your face...
What's that?
I heard we're buying
a Danish company,
so I figured we better start
safety-testing danishes.
[elevator dings]
Mmm...
Safe!
Geneva, did you go to the bank
to get Mr. Blaabjerg his money?
Yup!
I hope you don't mind.
I also got myself
a little something
while I was there.
Do not give him
that money!
Why would I?
This is my money.
I mean the other stack.
I was doing a little
research on Snappo,
and discovered
that Tobias Blaabjerg
died four years ago!
So you're saying the guy
we've been talking to isn't...
An alien!
He's a ghost!
No, he's a con artist.
He doesn't own Snappo.
He's just trying
to rip us off.
Wow.
Thank goodness we
found out the truth
before anyone
lost $25,000!
Guess who just
bought Snappo
for the low, low price
of $25,000?
Too bad Bowie's not here.
He's really good
at guessing contests.
You gave him
your money already?
Yup!
Because he chose me
to be the new owner of Snappo!
I hope there aren't
any hard feelings.
Uh, Candace...
Fine! I do hope
there are hard feelings.
Anyway, before I
head off to Denmark,
there's something
you should know
about Mrs. Bubkes.
An incredible secret
I've been dying to tell you
since the day
you took over Knickknack...
Hold on, I have
to tell you something first.
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Me first.
The truth about
Mrs. Bubkes is...
Candace, you were ripped off!
Tobias Blaabjerg
is dead.
What?
" Tobias Blaabjerg, grundlaegger
af Snappo legetoj dor?"
I got conned?
You've got to help me
get my money back.
Sorry, Candace.
I hate to say it,
but you got what you deserved.
You've been trying
to con me
out of this company
since I took it over...
probably in ways
I don't even know about.
Anyway, what were you going
to tell us about Mrs. Bubkes?
Oh...
She'd like a raise.
Say $25,000?
I just checked online.
We sold another one!
[Mmm-boing bounces,
making wet splats]
You know, at first,
I thought people were crazy
to pay so much
for Mmm-boing's paintings,
but the more I look at them,
the more I realize
how good they are.
Like this one that captures
the enigmatic glory
of the human condition.
And this one that captures
the enigmatic glory
of a clown's underpants.
Yeah, he's good...
Except when he starts
fooling around
with other styles.
Yuck!
Where are the circles?
Where are
the seemingly random drips?
Stick to what you're good at!
[gasps]
I'm so happy
we didn't lose any money
to that con artist.
Me too.
Everyone's happy about it.
[sobbing and wailing
from inside shed]
Except the shed.
[loud wailing]
There, there, shed.
I finally understand
the phrase
"shed a tear."
[crying]
Mrs. Bubkes?
What's wrong?
[speaks Meeskatanian]
...flat broke.
Are you sure you're not
round and bumpy broke?
[speaks Meeskatanian]
...life savings...
[continues in Meeskatanian]
Snappo.
What do you mean
you lost your life
savings buying Snappo?
That's what happened
to Candace.
Uhh...
I don't know
what the Meeskatanian word
"Uhh..." means,
but Mrs. Bubkes says it a lot!
[speaks Meeskatanian]
Bubkes...
[continues in Meeskatanian]
...invested with Candace.
Well, don't worry,
Mrs. Bubkes.
We're going to help you
get your money back.
Really?
Of course.
You're part of our family.
Yeah,
you're like the grandmother.
Bowie and Aster
are the troublemaking teenagers.
Geneva and Knox are the
helpless little babies.
And Jarvis and I
are the mom and dad.
The husband and wife...
two people madly in love,
hoping to palm the kids off
on Grandma
so they can have
some alone time.
But how are we going
to get the money back
from that Danish Space Ghost?
Yeah, he's probably
long gone by now.
We'll just have
to lure him back here.
I know just the thing!
There's a classic gambit
that might work.
It's not easy
to pull off,
and everyone has to play
their part to a T,
but when done right,
it can fool even
the most seasoned of hustlers
into believing
there's a score so tempting,
no one can pass it up.
That's not going to work.
No one's going to get tempted
by a sign that says...
Free cupcakes!
Where?
I know what will tempt him...
$25,000.
He doesn't know
we're on to him.
He'll show if he thinks
he's getting our money.
Piper, give me
that business card.
I may have put it
together wrong.
[no accent]
Thank goodness Yarvis called.
I was worried he was on to me,
but it looks like
I'll be getting another $25,000.
Ooh!
And free cupcakes!
[thud]
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
Where am I?
And what happened
to my glasses?
[heavy accent]
Looking for these?
That depends.
Are you holding up
my glasses?
I can't see two feet
in front of me without them.
[thud] Ow!
Well, if you could see,
you'd realize that
you are in Denmark,
locked in yail...
and guarded by real
Danish prison guards
in very authentic uniforms
that took a lot
of effort to make,
but may not have been
all that necessary.
I'm in Denmark?
[heavy accent] Ja.
You were subdued by police
and flown here on a yumbo yet.
[heavy accent] A yumbo yet?
Don't you need a spaceship
to get to Denmark?
It's not another planet,
remember?
You know this
because you are Danish.
Oh, ja.
I was yust yoking.
[♪♪♪]
Where's Mmm-boing?
Why isn't he painting?
[Bowie]: He insisted
on trying sculpting.
I hope he starts soon.
I'm cold!
[Mmm-boing bounces]
That's it.
No more experimenting.
This isn't art.
This is business.
From now on, you paint
in the classic human condition-
slash-clown underpants
Mmm-boing style.
Got it?
[bouncing]
See?
That's how you talk
to an artist.
I wouldn't be
so sure about that.
You can't keep me here!
Why am I in jail?
In vhat?
In yail!
Why am I in yail?
For impersonating
a great Dane.
I peed on one hydrant!
Not that kind of Great Dane.
You impersonated
Tobias Blaabjerg,
the founder of Snappo.
You're going away
for a very long time.
How long, exactly?
Because some people
use this room as their office
when it's not being used
as a prison cell
and would like to know
when they might
get use of it again.
Of course,
you could avoid yail altogether
if you paid the fine.
But it's a big one.
131,563 krone and nine ore.
What?
How much is that?
You're the one in prison.
Why should we be punished
by doing math?
It yust happens by pure chance
to vork out
to exactly $25,000.
$25,000?
By pure chance,
I have that!
Where's my briefcase?
You mean this one?
Those are my underpants.
Oh.
You mean this one?
What is the combination?
Let me out first.
One...
two...
three.
[whispering] Aww!
That's so obvious!
How is a combination
of impossibly random numbers
obvious?
Okay, here's the...
Hi, guys.
Did you get Mrs. Bubkes's
money back yet?
Because her rent is due
and the landlord said that
she's getting too old to barter.
You?
How'd you get him here?
To Denmark?
On a yumbo yet, of course.
And yust in case
that was too subtle...
[kick]
Oh!
This is Denmark.
Not Knickknack Toys.
I took a wrong turn.
Stupid unreliable
online maps.
Well, I'll leave you
to your official
Danish business.
Nice try.
I see what's going on here.
Wait.
Now I see
what's going on here.
Could you explain it to me?
Good job.
You made him quit.
You're the one
who encouraged him
to try other stuff.
I didn't want him to try
sculpting and realism
and splatter painting.
He never did
splatter painting.
Oh, right.
That was me.
How dare you!
Don't you know yellow
doesn't go with brown?
Is my face red?
Yes.
[raging]
[gurgling]
Wow, we made a...
Mess!
Masterpiece!
Nice try.
But you can't con
a con man.
Careful!
That one might be real!
Piper?
Don't feel bad, kid.
I've pulled this
Snappo con 50 times.
You're not my first mark.
And you won't be my last.
Yes, I will!
Because you're going
to real yail.
Yeah! You just confessed.
To a bunch of kids!
And this real
undercover policeman.
Please.
He's just another one
of the kids who works here.
Sorry I'm late for the scam!
I had trouble finding
a danish costume.
I told you.
He's an undercover cop.
[♪♪♪]
Here's your money back,
Mrs. Bubkes.
[speaking excitedly
in Meeskatanian]
...other half?
You mean Candace's money?
Let's just keep it
and not tell
the old witch.
No no no no no!
[speaks Meeskatanian]
[continues speaking]
...the rent!
[speaks tearfully]
...no barter!
Mrs. Bubkes is right.
It's Candace's money.
Yeah. She may always
try to rip us off,
but we're better than that.
Thanks for setting us
straight, Mrs. Bubkes.
You're such a good person.
That's why we love you.
[Audience]: Aw!
[♪♪♪]
[Danish announcer]:
Coming soon...
The Snappo Movie!
♪ This movie's
almost as awesome ♪
♪ It's just like the other one
but not as good ♪
♪ This movie's
almost as awesome ♪
♪ We had a much lower budget
but we did what we could ♪
I am Tobias J. Blaabjerg.
The "J" stands for...
Yust go see it!
[♪♪♪]
[thick accent]:
Good morning!
My name is Blaabjerg.
I have yust arrived and am here
to see the president.
The president?
He lives in the White House.
No, this is the place
I am looking for.
But this place isn't white.
It's red and blue and yellow
and grey and pink
and another kind of red.
Could we please dispense
with all the yibber-yabber?
I have yourneyed
a great distance
with an important message
for your president.
Okay.
So if I understand correctly...
your name is Blaabjerg...
Ja.
You have travelled
a great distance...
Ja.
With a message
for the president...
Ja.
Got it.
One moment, please.
[dials]
[screaming] Help!
We are under alien attack!
What? No!
I am from Denmark.
From the Planet Denmark!
[♪♪♪]
♪ Buckle up ♪
♪ And hold on tight ♪
♪ You and me
on a wild ride ♪
♪ We're gonna own it
and change the game ♪
♪ Together we'll make it
all the way ♪
♪ Through all the ups
and all the downs, downs ♪
♪ We'll always find
our way around ♪
♪ So here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ Here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ Yeah, here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ You got me ♪
♪ I got you ♪
♪ Here we go ♪
I'm sorry
for the mix-up earlier.
I know it may not
seem like it,
but Geneva is more
than just a pretty face.
She also has really
nice smelling hair.
[zapping]
Get away,
you evil creature!
Geneva, we told you.
He's not an alien!
I know.
I'm firing at you.
[zapping]
Anyway, I've never seen
a briefcase made of Snappo.
Where'd you get it?
At the Snappo factory.
Which I own.
I am Tobias Blaabjerg,
the founder of Snappo.
Here is my
business card.
And here are the instructions
to assemble my business card.
It's great to meet you!
I remember
my first Snappo set.
It was a pirate ship!
I am glad to see Snappo
makes you yump for yoy.
I was much like you
when I was young.
Devastatingly handsome?
Well... ja.
And I loved toys
more than anything.
Which brings me to
what brings me here.
I would much like you
to have Snappo.
I have worked
for many years,
and it is time to retire
to my private island...
which is also
made of Snappo.
It's beautiful,
but it hurts to go yogging
barefoot on the beach.
Taking over Snappo
would be a dream come true,
but I can't afford to buy
a multi-million dollar company.
I only got this one
because the last owner
was such an incompetent loser.
Oof!
Love the enthusiastic sweeping,
Mrs. Bubkes,
but let's try to focus
on the floors.
I am not interested
in money.
I built my company
brick by brick...
by brick, by brick, by brick,
by brick, by brick, by brick...
Well, it was a big yob.
The point is,
what's important to me
is that Snappo ends up
in the right hands.
Jarvis has the right hands.
Look at them!
They're so strong...
yet smooth and soft
to the touch.
I would just ask you to cover
the costs of the transfer.
Say, $25,000?
Only $25,000?
This could be my chance
to get back in the toy business!
And out of the stealing
toy businesses business.
Well, that's
an amazing offer!
You've got yourself
a deal!
Yippee! I am really
yazzed about this!
[♪♪♪]
What is this?
Jarvis asked me
to hire a painter.
So I did...
me.
Are you sure
you should be doing that
yourself?
Everything you do goes badly.
What?
I bet you can't name
one thing I've done
that's gone badly!
You got locked in a desk
for three days,
ate rotten pizza
and thought you were a cartoon,
flew a bicycle into power lines,
and crushed an old lady
in a moosetrap.
See?
That was way more
than one thing.
And how about creating
Mmm-boing?
You still don't know
where that ball is.
[Mmm-boing bounces]
Sure I do.
He's over there.
Now he's over there.
[bounces]
Now he's over there.
Now he's over there.
Now he's over there.
Now he's over there.
Now he's over there.
Now he's over there.
Now he's on your desk,
on your desk, on your desk...
Aah!
Shoo! Shoo!
Bowie!
I was going to use this canvas
to make myself
five pairs of pants!
Short pants?
No.
Just sign here,
and Snappo will be
all yours, Yarvis.
Wait!
If you want Snappo
to be in the right hands,
it should be these hands.
Oops!
I mean these hands.
I love Snappo
way more than Yarvis.
[laughs]
Please.
I'm about to sign this contract
on my Snappo desk.
Big deal!
So you've got a Snappo desk.
I've got a Snappo dog!
Who wants a treat?
That's nothing.
I'm wearing Snappo underpants.
[unbuckling]
I drive a car made
entirely out of Snappo!
It's in the shop now,
getting a new...
engine block,
but I totally have one.
Well, I have a life-sized,
fully remote-controlled
Snappo replica of myself.
No, you don't!
Well, I did.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
Okay, Mr. Blaabjerg.
I know you're
trying to decide
whether to sell
your company
to me or Candace,
but you should know,
I have big plans for Snappo!
I want to build
a Snappo hotel...
Snappoland theme park...
And the S.S. Snappo
Cruise Ship!
We're still working out
the Snappo-isn't-watertight
problem.
Yarvis, Yarvis...
Yust stop.
I have finished yudging
and made my decision.
Well, I hope you
yudged me favourably.
I did.
Yarvis, Snappo is yours.
You are the only choice.
Candace...
Snappo is yours.
You are
the only choice.
Thank you, thank you!
Come on, boy, let's go get
Mr. Blaabjerg his money.
[no accent] You do that...
sucker.
[squish]
Aw, come on!
What kind of person
doesn't clean up
after their dog?
[♪♪♪]
[Aster]: Bowie!
Guess what happened!
You ran over to me
and asked me
to guess what happened!
No.
Yes!
That's what happened.
And I guessed it!
What do I win?
Just listen to me!
You know this piece of canvas
Mmm-boing ruined?
Well, I posted it on ArtBay,
hoping to get five bucks
by selling it as scrap.
Really?
No one's going to pay
five bucks for that.
You're right.
They paid 800!
People thought it was
an amazing piece
by a gifted new artist,
and the bidding
went crazy.
That's incredible!
Where's my money?
Probably in
a velcro wallet.
I mean
my eight hundred dollars.
I created Mmm-boing.
It was my canvas.
It was my paint.
I'm the one who sold it.
I won a guessing contest,
and I'm still owed a prize.
Wait. Why are we
fighting about this?
Because we don't
like each other.
That's not true!
You like me.
But what I mean is,
instead of fighting,
we should go into
business together.
You're saying
we get "the artist"
to create more masterpieces?
Right.
We just need Mmm-boing
to paint again.
Where is he?
[bouncing]
Over there, over there,
over there, over there...
On your face, on your face,
on your face, on your face...
What's that?
I heard we're buying
a Danish company,
so I figured we better start
safety-testing danishes.
[elevator dings]
Mmm...
Safe!
Geneva, did you go to the bank
to get Mr. Blaabjerg his money?
Yup!
I hope you don't mind.
I also got myself
a little something
while I was there.
Do not give him
that money!
Why would I?
This is my money.
I mean the other stack.
I was doing a little
research on Snappo,
and discovered
that Tobias Blaabjerg
died four years ago!
So you're saying the guy
we've been talking to isn't...
An alien!
He's a ghost!
No, he's a con artist.
He doesn't own Snappo.
He's just trying
to rip us off.
Wow.
Thank goodness we
found out the truth
before anyone
lost $25,000!
Guess who just
bought Snappo
for the low, low price
of $25,000?
Too bad Bowie's not here.
He's really good
at guessing contests.
You gave him
your money already?
Yup!
Because he chose me
to be the new owner of Snappo!
I hope there aren't
any hard feelings.
Uh, Candace...
Fine! I do hope
there are hard feelings.
Anyway, before I
head off to Denmark,
there's something
you should know
about Mrs. Bubkes.
An incredible secret
I've been dying to tell you
since the day
you took over Knickknack...
Hold on, I have
to tell you something first.
No, no, no, no, no, no!
Me first.
The truth about
Mrs. Bubkes is...
Candace, you were ripped off!
Tobias Blaabjerg
is dead.
What?
" Tobias Blaabjerg, grundlaegger
af Snappo legetoj dor?"
I got conned?
You've got to help me
get my money back.
Sorry, Candace.
I hate to say it,
but you got what you deserved.
You've been trying
to con me
out of this company
since I took it over...
probably in ways
I don't even know about.
Anyway, what were you going
to tell us about Mrs. Bubkes?
Oh...
She'd like a raise.
Say $25,000?
I just checked online.
We sold another one!
[Mmm-boing bounces,
making wet splats]
You know, at first,
I thought people were crazy
to pay so much
for Mmm-boing's paintings,
but the more I look at them,
the more I realize
how good they are.
Like this one that captures
the enigmatic glory
of the human condition.
And this one that captures
the enigmatic glory
of a clown's underpants.
Yeah, he's good...
Except when he starts
fooling around
with other styles.
Yuck!
Where are the circles?
Where are
the seemingly random drips?
Stick to what you're good at!
[gasps]
I'm so happy
we didn't lose any money
to that con artist.
Me too.
Everyone's happy about it.
[sobbing and wailing
from inside shed]
Except the shed.
[loud wailing]
There, there, shed.
I finally understand
the phrase
"shed a tear."
[crying]
Mrs. Bubkes?
What's wrong?
[speaks Meeskatanian]
...flat broke.
Are you sure you're not
round and bumpy broke?
[speaks Meeskatanian]
...life savings...
[continues in Meeskatanian]
Snappo.
What do you mean
you lost your life
savings buying Snappo?
That's what happened
to Candace.
Uhh...
I don't know
what the Meeskatanian word
"Uhh..." means,
but Mrs. Bubkes says it a lot!
[speaks Meeskatanian]
Bubkes...
[continues in Meeskatanian]
...invested with Candace.
Well, don't worry,
Mrs. Bubkes.
We're going to help you
get your money back.
Really?
Of course.
You're part of our family.
Yeah,
you're like the grandmother.
Bowie and Aster
are the troublemaking teenagers.
Geneva and Knox are the
helpless little babies.
And Jarvis and I
are the mom and dad.
The husband and wife...
two people madly in love,
hoping to palm the kids off
on Grandma
so they can have
some alone time.
But how are we going
to get the money back
from that Danish Space Ghost?
Yeah, he's probably
long gone by now.
We'll just have
to lure him back here.
I know just the thing!
There's a classic gambit
that might work.
It's not easy
to pull off,
and everyone has to play
their part to a T,
but when done right,
it can fool even
the most seasoned of hustlers
into believing
there's a score so tempting,
no one can pass it up.
That's not going to work.
No one's going to get tempted
by a sign that says...
Free cupcakes!
Where?
I know what will tempt him...
$25,000.
He doesn't know
we're on to him.
He'll show if he thinks
he's getting our money.
Piper, give me
that business card.
I may have put it
together wrong.
[no accent]
Thank goodness Yarvis called.
I was worried he was on to me,
but it looks like
I'll be getting another $25,000.
Ooh!
And free cupcakes!
[thud]
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
Where am I?
And what happened
to my glasses?
[heavy accent]
Looking for these?
That depends.
Are you holding up
my glasses?
I can't see two feet
in front of me without them.
[thud] Ow!
Well, if you could see,
you'd realize that
you are in Denmark,
locked in yail...
and guarded by real
Danish prison guards
in very authentic uniforms
that took a lot
of effort to make,
but may not have been
all that necessary.
I'm in Denmark?
[heavy accent] Ja.
You were subdued by police
and flown here on a yumbo yet.
[heavy accent] A yumbo yet?
Don't you need a spaceship
to get to Denmark?
It's not another planet,
remember?
You know this
because you are Danish.
Oh, ja.
I was yust yoking.
[♪♪♪]
Where's Mmm-boing?
Why isn't he painting?
[Bowie]: He insisted
on trying sculpting.
I hope he starts soon.
I'm cold!
[Mmm-boing bounces]
That's it.
No more experimenting.
This isn't art.
This is business.
From now on, you paint
in the classic human condition-
slash-clown underpants
Mmm-boing style.
Got it?
[bouncing]
See?
That's how you talk
to an artist.
I wouldn't be
so sure about that.
You can't keep me here!
Why am I in jail?
In vhat?
In yail!
Why am I in yail?
For impersonating
a great Dane.
I peed on one hydrant!
Not that kind of Great Dane.
You impersonated
Tobias Blaabjerg,
the founder of Snappo.
You're going away
for a very long time.
How long, exactly?
Because some people
use this room as their office
when it's not being used
as a prison cell
and would like to know
when they might
get use of it again.
Of course,
you could avoid yail altogether
if you paid the fine.
But it's a big one.
131,563 krone and nine ore.
What?
How much is that?
You're the one in prison.
Why should we be punished
by doing math?
It yust happens by pure chance
to vork out
to exactly $25,000.
$25,000?
By pure chance,
I have that!
Where's my briefcase?
You mean this one?
Those are my underpants.
Oh.
You mean this one?
What is the combination?
Let me out first.
One...
two...
three.
[whispering] Aww!
That's so obvious!
How is a combination
of impossibly random numbers
obvious?
Okay, here's the...
Hi, guys.
Did you get Mrs. Bubkes's
money back yet?
Because her rent is due
and the landlord said that
she's getting too old to barter.
You?
How'd you get him here?
To Denmark?
On a yumbo yet, of course.
And yust in case
that was too subtle...
[kick]
Oh!
This is Denmark.
Not Knickknack Toys.
I took a wrong turn.
Stupid unreliable
online maps.
Well, I'll leave you
to your official
Danish business.
Nice try.
I see what's going on here.
Wait.
Now I see
what's going on here.
Could you explain it to me?
Good job.
You made him quit.
You're the one
who encouraged him
to try other stuff.
I didn't want him to try
sculpting and realism
and splatter painting.
He never did
splatter painting.
Oh, right.
That was me.
How dare you!
Don't you know yellow
doesn't go with brown?
Is my face red?
Yes.
[raging]
[gurgling]
Wow, we made a...
Mess!
Masterpiece!
Nice try.
But you can't con
a con man.
Careful!
That one might be real!
Piper?
Don't feel bad, kid.
I've pulled this
Snappo con 50 times.
You're not my first mark.
And you won't be my last.
Yes, I will!
Because you're going
to real yail.
Yeah! You just confessed.
To a bunch of kids!
And this real
undercover policeman.
Please.
He's just another one
of the kids who works here.
Sorry I'm late for the scam!
I had trouble finding
a danish costume.
I told you.
He's an undercover cop.
[♪♪♪]
Here's your money back,
Mrs. Bubkes.
[speaking excitedly
in Meeskatanian]
...other half?
You mean Candace's money?
Let's just keep it
and not tell
the old witch.
No no no no no!
[speaks Meeskatanian]
[continues speaking]
...the rent!
[speaks tearfully]
...no barter!
Mrs. Bubkes is right.
It's Candace's money.
Yeah. She may always
try to rip us off,
but we're better than that.
Thanks for setting us
straight, Mrs. Bubkes.
You're such a good person.
That's why we love you.
[Audience]: Aw!
[♪♪♪]
[Danish announcer]:
Coming soon...
The Snappo Movie!
♪ This movie's
almost as awesome ♪
♪ It's just like the other one
but not as good ♪
♪ This movie's
almost as awesome ♪
♪ We had a much lower budget
but we did what we could ♪
I am Tobias J. Blaabjerg.
The "J" stands for...
Yust go see it!
[♪♪♪]