Some Assembly Required (2014–2016): Season 2, Episode 10 - Kooky-Dough - full transcript
When Candace vows to send a safety inspector to inspect Knickknack Toys, Jarvis goes above and beyond with his safety protocols. But the one thing he didn't account for was an out-of-control man-eating toy dough.
♪ Here we go ♪
[♪♪♪]
[toy]: Hee-hee-hee!
I'm Giggle-Time Gus!
What do you want to play?
[as Candace]: I want to play
a little game called...
"Cut you open
and see what's inside!"
Hee-hee-hee!
Sounds like fun!
Hee-hee-hee!
What are you doing?
If you must know,
I'm tampering with your wiring.
Next time Jarvis picks you up,
you won't just be cute...
[darkly]:
...You'll electro-cute!
Hee-hee-hee!
Stop it.
No. You're not the boss of me.
[Jarvis, outside]:
Fine, Bowie.
Oh, no. The boss of me.
[sniffing]
Yes, your hair
smells like waffles.
They can't see
what I'm doing to you!
Hee-hee-hee!
Let's play
hide and seek!
Good thinking.
Where to hide you?
Where to hide you?
[laughter]
[gulping]
Oh, hey, Mrs. Bubkes.
I didn't realize
you were cleaning in here.
[muffled]
That doesn't sound
like the proper Meeskatanian
you normally speak.
Do you understand her?
No. But I don't
understand any women.
Hee-hee-hee!
Come find me!
Found you.
Now find me!
Mrs. Bubkes,
do you have
a Giggle-Time Gus
in your mouth?
Hee-hee-hee!
I'm Giggle-Time Gus!
Don't worry.
I've got a plan
to get him out.
[gulps and swallows]
Bowie! You made
her swallow him!
I should have mentioned...
it's a two-part plan.
Now we wait.
Hee-hee-hee!
It's dark in here!
Head for the light
at the end of the...
...Tunnel!
Something tells me
Gus won't be giggling for long.
[♪♪♪]
♪ Buckle up ♪
♪ And hold on tight ♪
♪ You and me
on a wild ride ♪
♪ We're gonna own it
and change the game ♪
♪ Together we'll make it
all the way ♪
♪ Through all the ups
and all the downs, downs ♪
♪ We'll always find our way
around ♪
♪ So here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ Here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ Yeah, here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ You got me ♪
♪ I got you ♪
♪ Here we go ♪♪
[game's motorcycle engine
rumbling]
[laughter]
What are you doing?
Two-player mode.
I'm your biker babe.
[tires squealing, crashing]
Oh, darn.
I drove off that bridge.
I wonder how
Mrs. Bubkes feels.
Kind of soft.
And it's hard to get my arms
all the way around her.
Not when you're playing
the motorcycle game!
Since she swallowed
that Giggle-Time Gus.
Hee-hee-hee!
This is fun!
[as Candace]: Not for me!
[groaning]: Ohh!
[water splashes]
[flushing]
Hee-hee-hee!
[receding]:
I'll miss yo-o-o-o-ou!
Mrs. Bubkes?
Are you feeling better?
She certainly
isn't looking better.
[Jarvis]: Candace?
You swallowed a Giggle-Time Gus?
That's odd.
So did Mrs. Bubkes.
I'm not surprised,
because...
you make
such dangerous products.
Are you saying it's our fault
you swallowed a toy?
Yes.
Giggle-Time Gus
is dangerous, defective,
and...delicious.
So sue us!
-I'm considering it.
-You should.
I think you have
a very good case.
Unfortunately,
it turns out
I can't afford a lawyer
on a cleaning woman's salary.
Cleaning woman's
salary?
That's just
an old expression.
The point is,
I'm reporting you to the city!
This is an unsafe environment!
I wouldn't say
it's unsafe.
Sure we've had
a lot of injuries,
but it's mostly
Mrs. Bubkes.
She's kind of
a klutz.
Tell that
to the safety inspector
the city's going to send.
He'll shut this place down
once he sees it's run
by a bunch of reckless kids!
Hey, this place is only run
by one reckless kid.
The rest of us
just work here.
For a cleaning woman's
salary, mind you.
[♪♪♪]
Piper, I can't understand
this email you sent me.
"Hukgrko dfqluiop jklsdlasd,
iosiopejkl."
You can't understand that?
It says, "I can't type wearing
all this protective gear."
I know it's a pain,
but until we pass
that safety inspection,
we need to be extra-, ultra-,
super-safe.
You should be thankful
for that protective gear.
The more of that outfit
you cover up, the better.
[shrieks]
Why are the stairs
chained off?
Stairs are a deathtrap!
Did you know 100% of people
who have fallen down stairs
did so while using stairs?
Jarvis, don't you think
you're taking this safety thing
too far?
No. Not at all.
[click]
We have to wear seatbelts
to ride the elevator?
If you're tall enough.
Little ones have to use
a Snug'n'Comfy
elevator safety seat.
This is actually
pretty comfortable
once you get over
the humiliation.
[giggling]
[♪♪♪]
Can you believe
we have to wear this?
This is just what
my mom makes me wear
to walk to work.
Jarvis is taking
this safety stuff way too far.
He's banned all
my favourite activities...
razor tag...
scuba-dying,
and parashouting.
You mean parachuting?
No, parashouting.
You jump out of
an airplane and shout
"Look at me!
I've got no parachute!"
Well, you'll just have
to find a nice, safe hobby.
Something like this.
The "Joy of K-nitting."
It's actually
pronounced "knitting."
I was joking.
You don't think
I k-now that?
I'm not
a k-nucklehead.
[♪♪♪]
Piper!
Can you show me
how to use a cookbook?
I think I did it wrong
the first time.
[sizzling]
What are you
trying to make?
Cookies!
I'm off to visit Grandma,
and thought
I'd bring her a snack.
She lives on
the other side of the forest,
so I'm gonna wear this,
in case it gets chilly.
I don't think
you should be baking cookies.
I know what
you're thinking...
Cookies might be hard
for an old lady to chew.
But not for my grandmother.
She has really big teeth.
I mean, I don't think
you should be baking at all.
Jarvis told us not
to do anything dangerous.
Don't be silly.
How is baking dangerous?
What are you doing?
Making chocolate chips.
Pass me that can
of cookie dough.
This isn't cookie dough!
It's Kooky-Dough!
A toy.
You can't
bake with this stuff.
Sure I can!
I just have to add
the other ingredients.
Sugar...
baking soda...
yeast.
Now we just wait
for the dough to rise.
Wow! We didn't
have to wait long.
Geneva, do you realize
what you've done?
No!
By adding yeast
to Kooky-Dough,
you made it reproduce.
Right here
on the countertop?
Eww! We eat
off this thing.
The worst part
about Kooky-Dough
is that you're always
losing pieces of it.
[gasps] This could
make a great toy.
Self-replenishing
Kooky-Dough!
I've got to tell
Jarvis about this.
And I've got to tell Grandma!
Never mind.
She's probably already heard.
She has really big ears.
[ominous music plays]
[audience laughing]
See? This is safe and fun.
And look what I made.
You're wearing
a helmet and a hat?
Of course not!
I'm not a dork.
This is a helmet cozy.
Well, I think
I've got a real k-nack
for k-nitting.
Nice foot cozy!
But you don't usually knit it
right onto your foot.
Oh. I'll take it off.
Aah!
Knox. No!
Don't worry!
I'm wearing
k-nee pads!
Jarvis!
We have something to tell you!
Is it that you're sorry
for running at
an incredibly dangerous speed?
Why can't you just listen?
No one else around here
is doing anything dangerous.
But we created a new toy!
I don't want you experimenting
with anything.
The inspector
could drop in any time.
But it's not
even dangerous!
Unlike
what Knox is doing.
Nice try, Piper.
You have to
turn your head faster.
And risk
getting whiplash?
I don't think so.
[♪♪♪]
This is so unfair.
We should be able to sell
the Kooky-Dough we made.
It's perfectly safe.
And we have
so much of it!
[gasps] Oh, no!
I don't understand how
this thing keeps growing.
There must be
some explanation.
Think!
[slurping]
Hey, that's
my smoothie!
The Kooky-Dough grows
by consuming food,
just like we do.
Maybe it'll shrink
back down if we starve it.
That seems extreme.
If it wants to lose weight,
maybe it should try exercise.
Give me that
smoothie! Aah!
Right!
Like arm-wrestling!
[♪♪♪]
Okay, since you
somehow managed
to turn knitting
into bungee jumping,
let's try an even safer hobby.
Like bungee-krumping!
I was thinking something
like birdwatching.
Something exactly
like birdwatching.
Birdwatching.
Whoa! What an awesome bird!
What does
it look like?
It's white.
Kind of fluffy.
And it looks like my parents
fighting when I was little.
Knox, that's a cloud.
And it doesn't
look like that at all.
It looks like my mom
in a bathing suit.
Try to spot
an actual bird.
[bird singing]
Ooh! A golden-crowned
sparrow!
Check.
Ooh! I see a bird.
Is it round, yellow,
and actually the sun?
No. It's an eagle.
Wow, these binoculars
are incredible.
It's like he's right
next to me.
Don't move,
or make any bird sounds.
It might think
we're its babies.
What kind
of bird sounds?
Like... "Caw?"
[eagle shrieks]
[Knox]: Whoa! I can see
the whole K-nick K-nack building
from up here!
[Knox]: Woohoo!
I know bird-watching
ended up being dangerous,
what with Knox being carried off
in the razor-sharp talons
of a man-eating bird...
but this is one of the rarest
species I've ever spotted.
"Medium-sized eagle." Check.
Bowie! What do you
think you're doing?
Uh...
It's dangerous to stand
by an open window.
[Knox]: Woohoo!
[♪♪♪]
[Candace]: This is the place.
You can put
your "condemned" sign here.
The Safety Inspector's here!
Is everyone ready?
Yup.
Yup.
Yup!
[boff]
[Piper and Geneva]: Yup!
Okay, yup-ish.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
What is that?
Um...
Well, remember
that toy we invented?
Turns out it's less "toy"
and more "uncontrollable,
ever-expanding,
man-eating,
blood-thirsty blob."
"Ever-expanding?"
It grows?
He's kind of
an emotional eater.
The Safety Inspector is here!
We've got to do
something with this thing.
How about extreme
blob-sledding?
No "extreme" anything!
And get rid of that egg!
But I was going to
make an extreme omelet.
Get him out of here!
And get rid
of that blob before...
Where did it go?
I still think
I wore it best.
[yelps]
Hello...
And welcome to our ultra-safe,
super-harmless company.
I'm still farting out
clumps of blue fur.
Did you not read
my original complaint?
Because it really
provides a context
for that whole
fur-farting thing.
Don't listen to her!
Everything
at Knickknack Toys
is perfectly safe.
Let me show you around.
Starting with...
not this room.
Elevator belts. Nice!
[laughter]
I've got to
keep you in here
and out of trouble.
Okay, Knox?
Knox?
K-nox?
Yeah?
Okay, I want you
to just sit here
and do absolutely
nothing.
That seems
a little extreme.
So I'm in!
Can we do something
while we do absolutely nothing?
Like snakeboarding?
No! We need
a simple, calm hobby.
Something completely safe
that won't lead to anything
dangerous or destructive.
Like twiddling your thumbs.
Fine.
[sizzling]
[elevator dings]
This is the toy lab,
where we make
our incredibly fun,
incredibly safe toys.
Like our Safety Safe,
the especially safe
toy safe
that keeps your safety items
safe.
Not that there's any need
for safety glasses around here.
[tapping]
[tapping on window]
[low growling]
Did I just
hear tapping?
Uh... yes!
That was just me tap-dancing,
because I'm so happy
about our safety record.
Anyway,
you've seen the toy lab.
Let's go check out
my ultra-safe office.
[Bowie]: Stop
twiddling your thumbs
and help me
put this out!
[door thuds]
On second thought...
[ding]
offices are boring.
Back in the elevator!
[ding]
Well, as you can see,
like the rest of the building,
it's perfectly safe up here.
Anyway, that should
wrap up your inspection.
Why don't you exit
by the back stairs?
With your eyes closed.
They're just that safe.
Help! Help!
We're all gonna die!
What?
She means we're all
gonna die...
our hair.
We are? Yay!
But we'd better
hurry and do it
before the giant
blob monster kills us!
[blob growling]
See? I told you
this place was unsafe!
-What is that?
-I can explain!
[inspector yelps]
Looks like
you don't have to.
[blob belches]
We can't just
leave him in there.
Jarvis is right.
The blob needs dessert.
No! We need to save him!
Even if it means
getting shut down.
If I don't make it back,
remember me as a hero.
A handsome hero.
A statue might be nice.
Something that really
captures my handsomeness.
Maybe put it over there
on the grass,
so people can sit against it
and eat their lunch
in my handsome shadow.
No one can remember you
if you don't leave.
[blob chomping]
Ugh!
Look! I'm behind you! Ah!
Ugh! I got you.
Come with me!
-Ugh!
-[both wheezing]
[slam]
That toy...
that toy...
Almost killed you!
...Is amazing!
What?
The worst thing
about Kooky-Dough
is that you're always
losing pieces of it.
Self-replenishing Kooky-Dough!
My kids would love it!
Really? Great.
We'll give you
a lifetime supply.
Here you go.
On second thought,
we'll send you some
once we've tweaked the recipe.
But... But...
You need to
shut them down!
This place is dangerous.
Because they safety-test
their toys here,
before they release them
to kids!
Unlike the last owner.
She sold all kinds
of deadly toys.
There was even
this chemistry set
that blew up
some kid's house!
I hated dealing
with the old witch
who used to run this place.
That was me.
Yes, I know.
Do you mind?
I'm trying to tell a story here.
[♪♪♪]
Well, I guess
things worked out.
The purple blob smothered
the fire in my office.
And the fire baked
the Kooky-Dough
into these
delicious cookies!
So it was the yeast
that made it grow?
I guess this means
you can go back
to doing extreme
stunts again.
Dude. There's cookies.
[Geneva]: Save some
for my grandmother!
We have thousands of them.
How many cookies
can your grandmother eat?
A lot!
She's a big eater.
One time, she even
ate my old grandmother.
[laughter]
No one's gonna stop her?
♪ Giggle-Time Gus
Is full of fun ♪
Hee-hee-hee!
♪ He giggles when you're trying
To get your homework done ♪
Hee-hee-hee!
♪ He giggles
When you are on a call ♪
-Hee-hee-hee!
- Shh!
♪ He giggles if you throw him
Against the wall ♪
Hee-hee-hee!
♪ You can beat him
and punch him ♪
♪ And kick him in the head ♪
♪ But he'll keep giggling
Long after you're dead ♪
Hee-hee-hee!
♪ Gus giggles and giggles
And giggles some more ♪
♪ Giggle-Time Gus... ♪
♪ No refunds...
He's yours! ♪
I'm P. Everett Knickknack.
The "P" stands for...
Hee-hee-hee!
"Put a sock in it."
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
[toy]: Hee-hee-hee!
I'm Giggle-Time Gus!
What do you want to play?
[as Candace]: I want to play
a little game called...
"Cut you open
and see what's inside!"
Hee-hee-hee!
Sounds like fun!
Hee-hee-hee!
What are you doing?
If you must know,
I'm tampering with your wiring.
Next time Jarvis picks you up,
you won't just be cute...
[darkly]:
...You'll electro-cute!
Hee-hee-hee!
Stop it.
No. You're not the boss of me.
[Jarvis, outside]:
Fine, Bowie.
Oh, no. The boss of me.
[sniffing]
Yes, your hair
smells like waffles.
They can't see
what I'm doing to you!
Hee-hee-hee!
Let's play
hide and seek!
Good thinking.
Where to hide you?
Where to hide you?
[laughter]
[gulping]
Oh, hey, Mrs. Bubkes.
I didn't realize
you were cleaning in here.
[muffled]
That doesn't sound
like the proper Meeskatanian
you normally speak.
Do you understand her?
No. But I don't
understand any women.
Hee-hee-hee!
Come find me!
Found you.
Now find me!
Mrs. Bubkes,
do you have
a Giggle-Time Gus
in your mouth?
Hee-hee-hee!
I'm Giggle-Time Gus!
Don't worry.
I've got a plan
to get him out.
[gulps and swallows]
Bowie! You made
her swallow him!
I should have mentioned...
it's a two-part plan.
Now we wait.
Hee-hee-hee!
It's dark in here!
Head for the light
at the end of the...
...Tunnel!
Something tells me
Gus won't be giggling for long.
[♪♪♪]
♪ Buckle up ♪
♪ And hold on tight ♪
♪ You and me
on a wild ride ♪
♪ We're gonna own it
and change the game ♪
♪ Together we'll make it
all the way ♪
♪ Through all the ups
and all the downs, downs ♪
♪ We'll always find our way
around ♪
♪ So here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ Here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ Yeah, here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪
♪ You got me ♪
♪ I got you ♪
♪ Here we go ♪♪
[game's motorcycle engine
rumbling]
[laughter]
What are you doing?
Two-player mode.
I'm your biker babe.
[tires squealing, crashing]
Oh, darn.
I drove off that bridge.
I wonder how
Mrs. Bubkes feels.
Kind of soft.
And it's hard to get my arms
all the way around her.
Not when you're playing
the motorcycle game!
Since she swallowed
that Giggle-Time Gus.
Hee-hee-hee!
This is fun!
[as Candace]: Not for me!
[groaning]: Ohh!
[water splashes]
[flushing]
Hee-hee-hee!
[receding]:
I'll miss yo-o-o-o-ou!
Mrs. Bubkes?
Are you feeling better?
She certainly
isn't looking better.
[Jarvis]: Candace?
You swallowed a Giggle-Time Gus?
That's odd.
So did Mrs. Bubkes.
I'm not surprised,
because...
you make
such dangerous products.
Are you saying it's our fault
you swallowed a toy?
Yes.
Giggle-Time Gus
is dangerous, defective,
and...delicious.
So sue us!
-I'm considering it.
-You should.
I think you have
a very good case.
Unfortunately,
it turns out
I can't afford a lawyer
on a cleaning woman's salary.
Cleaning woman's
salary?
That's just
an old expression.
The point is,
I'm reporting you to the city!
This is an unsafe environment!
I wouldn't say
it's unsafe.
Sure we've had
a lot of injuries,
but it's mostly
Mrs. Bubkes.
She's kind of
a klutz.
Tell that
to the safety inspector
the city's going to send.
He'll shut this place down
once he sees it's run
by a bunch of reckless kids!
Hey, this place is only run
by one reckless kid.
The rest of us
just work here.
For a cleaning woman's
salary, mind you.
[♪♪♪]
Piper, I can't understand
this email you sent me.
"Hukgrko dfqluiop jklsdlasd,
iosiopejkl."
You can't understand that?
It says, "I can't type wearing
all this protective gear."
I know it's a pain,
but until we pass
that safety inspection,
we need to be extra-, ultra-,
super-safe.
You should be thankful
for that protective gear.
The more of that outfit
you cover up, the better.
[shrieks]
Why are the stairs
chained off?
Stairs are a deathtrap!
Did you know 100% of people
who have fallen down stairs
did so while using stairs?
Jarvis, don't you think
you're taking this safety thing
too far?
No. Not at all.
[click]
We have to wear seatbelts
to ride the elevator?
If you're tall enough.
Little ones have to use
a Snug'n'Comfy
elevator safety seat.
This is actually
pretty comfortable
once you get over
the humiliation.
[giggling]
[♪♪♪]
Can you believe
we have to wear this?
This is just what
my mom makes me wear
to walk to work.
Jarvis is taking
this safety stuff way too far.
He's banned all
my favourite activities...
razor tag...
scuba-dying,
and parashouting.
You mean parachuting?
No, parashouting.
You jump out of
an airplane and shout
"Look at me!
I've got no parachute!"
Well, you'll just have
to find a nice, safe hobby.
Something like this.
The "Joy of K-nitting."
It's actually
pronounced "knitting."
I was joking.
You don't think
I k-now that?
I'm not
a k-nucklehead.
[♪♪♪]
Piper!
Can you show me
how to use a cookbook?
I think I did it wrong
the first time.
[sizzling]
What are you
trying to make?
Cookies!
I'm off to visit Grandma,
and thought
I'd bring her a snack.
She lives on
the other side of the forest,
so I'm gonna wear this,
in case it gets chilly.
I don't think
you should be baking cookies.
I know what
you're thinking...
Cookies might be hard
for an old lady to chew.
But not for my grandmother.
She has really big teeth.
I mean, I don't think
you should be baking at all.
Jarvis told us not
to do anything dangerous.
Don't be silly.
How is baking dangerous?
What are you doing?
Making chocolate chips.
Pass me that can
of cookie dough.
This isn't cookie dough!
It's Kooky-Dough!
A toy.
You can't
bake with this stuff.
Sure I can!
I just have to add
the other ingredients.
Sugar...
baking soda...
yeast.
Now we just wait
for the dough to rise.
Wow! We didn't
have to wait long.
Geneva, do you realize
what you've done?
No!
By adding yeast
to Kooky-Dough,
you made it reproduce.
Right here
on the countertop?
Eww! We eat
off this thing.
The worst part
about Kooky-Dough
is that you're always
losing pieces of it.
[gasps] This could
make a great toy.
Self-replenishing
Kooky-Dough!
I've got to tell
Jarvis about this.
And I've got to tell Grandma!
Never mind.
She's probably already heard.
She has really big ears.
[ominous music plays]
[audience laughing]
See? This is safe and fun.
And look what I made.
You're wearing
a helmet and a hat?
Of course not!
I'm not a dork.
This is a helmet cozy.
Well, I think
I've got a real k-nack
for k-nitting.
Nice foot cozy!
But you don't usually knit it
right onto your foot.
Oh. I'll take it off.
Aah!
Knox. No!
Don't worry!
I'm wearing
k-nee pads!
Jarvis!
We have something to tell you!
Is it that you're sorry
for running at
an incredibly dangerous speed?
Why can't you just listen?
No one else around here
is doing anything dangerous.
But we created a new toy!
I don't want you experimenting
with anything.
The inspector
could drop in any time.
But it's not
even dangerous!
Unlike
what Knox is doing.
Nice try, Piper.
You have to
turn your head faster.
And risk
getting whiplash?
I don't think so.
[♪♪♪]
This is so unfair.
We should be able to sell
the Kooky-Dough we made.
It's perfectly safe.
And we have
so much of it!
[gasps] Oh, no!
I don't understand how
this thing keeps growing.
There must be
some explanation.
Think!
[slurping]
Hey, that's
my smoothie!
The Kooky-Dough grows
by consuming food,
just like we do.
Maybe it'll shrink
back down if we starve it.
That seems extreme.
If it wants to lose weight,
maybe it should try exercise.
Give me that
smoothie! Aah!
Right!
Like arm-wrestling!
[♪♪♪]
Okay, since you
somehow managed
to turn knitting
into bungee jumping,
let's try an even safer hobby.
Like bungee-krumping!
I was thinking something
like birdwatching.
Something exactly
like birdwatching.
Birdwatching.
Whoa! What an awesome bird!
What does
it look like?
It's white.
Kind of fluffy.
And it looks like my parents
fighting when I was little.
Knox, that's a cloud.
And it doesn't
look like that at all.
It looks like my mom
in a bathing suit.
Try to spot
an actual bird.
[bird singing]
Ooh! A golden-crowned
sparrow!
Check.
Ooh! I see a bird.
Is it round, yellow,
and actually the sun?
No. It's an eagle.
Wow, these binoculars
are incredible.
It's like he's right
next to me.
Don't move,
or make any bird sounds.
It might think
we're its babies.
What kind
of bird sounds?
Like... "Caw?"
[eagle shrieks]
[Knox]: Whoa! I can see
the whole K-nick K-nack building
from up here!
[Knox]: Woohoo!
I know bird-watching
ended up being dangerous,
what with Knox being carried off
in the razor-sharp talons
of a man-eating bird...
but this is one of the rarest
species I've ever spotted.
"Medium-sized eagle." Check.
Bowie! What do you
think you're doing?
Uh...
It's dangerous to stand
by an open window.
[Knox]: Woohoo!
[♪♪♪]
[Candace]: This is the place.
You can put
your "condemned" sign here.
The Safety Inspector's here!
Is everyone ready?
Yup.
Yup.
Yup!
[boff]
[Piper and Geneva]: Yup!
Okay, yup-ish.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
What is that?
Um...
Well, remember
that toy we invented?
Turns out it's less "toy"
and more "uncontrollable,
ever-expanding,
man-eating,
blood-thirsty blob."
"Ever-expanding?"
It grows?
He's kind of
an emotional eater.
The Safety Inspector is here!
We've got to do
something with this thing.
How about extreme
blob-sledding?
No "extreme" anything!
And get rid of that egg!
But I was going to
make an extreme omelet.
Get him out of here!
And get rid
of that blob before...
Where did it go?
I still think
I wore it best.
[yelps]
Hello...
And welcome to our ultra-safe,
super-harmless company.
I'm still farting out
clumps of blue fur.
Did you not read
my original complaint?
Because it really
provides a context
for that whole
fur-farting thing.
Don't listen to her!
Everything
at Knickknack Toys
is perfectly safe.
Let me show you around.
Starting with...
not this room.
Elevator belts. Nice!
[laughter]
I've got to
keep you in here
and out of trouble.
Okay, Knox?
Knox?
K-nox?
Yeah?
Okay, I want you
to just sit here
and do absolutely
nothing.
That seems
a little extreme.
So I'm in!
Can we do something
while we do absolutely nothing?
Like snakeboarding?
No! We need
a simple, calm hobby.
Something completely safe
that won't lead to anything
dangerous or destructive.
Like twiddling your thumbs.
Fine.
[sizzling]
[elevator dings]
This is the toy lab,
where we make
our incredibly fun,
incredibly safe toys.
Like our Safety Safe,
the especially safe
toy safe
that keeps your safety items
safe.
Not that there's any need
for safety glasses around here.
[tapping]
[tapping on window]
[low growling]
Did I just
hear tapping?
Uh... yes!
That was just me tap-dancing,
because I'm so happy
about our safety record.
Anyway,
you've seen the toy lab.
Let's go check out
my ultra-safe office.
[Bowie]: Stop
twiddling your thumbs
and help me
put this out!
[door thuds]
On second thought...
[ding]
offices are boring.
Back in the elevator!
[ding]
Well, as you can see,
like the rest of the building,
it's perfectly safe up here.
Anyway, that should
wrap up your inspection.
Why don't you exit
by the back stairs?
With your eyes closed.
They're just that safe.
Help! Help!
We're all gonna die!
What?
She means we're all
gonna die...
our hair.
We are? Yay!
But we'd better
hurry and do it
before the giant
blob monster kills us!
[blob growling]
See? I told you
this place was unsafe!
-What is that?
-I can explain!
[inspector yelps]
Looks like
you don't have to.
[blob belches]
We can't just
leave him in there.
Jarvis is right.
The blob needs dessert.
No! We need to save him!
Even if it means
getting shut down.
If I don't make it back,
remember me as a hero.
A handsome hero.
A statue might be nice.
Something that really
captures my handsomeness.
Maybe put it over there
on the grass,
so people can sit against it
and eat their lunch
in my handsome shadow.
No one can remember you
if you don't leave.
[blob chomping]
Ugh!
Look! I'm behind you! Ah!
Ugh! I got you.
Come with me!
-Ugh!
-[both wheezing]
[slam]
That toy...
that toy...
Almost killed you!
...Is amazing!
What?
The worst thing
about Kooky-Dough
is that you're always
losing pieces of it.
Self-replenishing Kooky-Dough!
My kids would love it!
Really? Great.
We'll give you
a lifetime supply.
Here you go.
On second thought,
we'll send you some
once we've tweaked the recipe.
But... But...
You need to
shut them down!
This place is dangerous.
Because they safety-test
their toys here,
before they release them
to kids!
Unlike the last owner.
She sold all kinds
of deadly toys.
There was even
this chemistry set
that blew up
some kid's house!
I hated dealing
with the old witch
who used to run this place.
That was me.
Yes, I know.
Do you mind?
I'm trying to tell a story here.
[♪♪♪]
Well, I guess
things worked out.
The purple blob smothered
the fire in my office.
And the fire baked
the Kooky-Dough
into these
delicious cookies!
So it was the yeast
that made it grow?
I guess this means
you can go back
to doing extreme
stunts again.
Dude. There's cookies.
[Geneva]: Save some
for my grandmother!
We have thousands of them.
How many cookies
can your grandmother eat?
A lot!
She's a big eater.
One time, she even
ate my old grandmother.
[laughter]
No one's gonna stop her?
♪ Giggle-Time Gus
Is full of fun ♪
Hee-hee-hee!
♪ He giggles when you're trying
To get your homework done ♪
Hee-hee-hee!
♪ He giggles
When you are on a call ♪
-Hee-hee-hee!
- Shh!
♪ He giggles if you throw him
Against the wall ♪
Hee-hee-hee!
♪ You can beat him
and punch him ♪
♪ And kick him in the head ♪
♪ But he'll keep giggling
Long after you're dead ♪
Hee-hee-hee!
♪ Gus giggles and giggles
And giggles some more ♪
♪ Giggle-Time Gus... ♪
♪ No refunds...
He's yours! ♪
I'm P. Everett Knickknack.
The "P" stands for...
Hee-hee-hee!
"Put a sock in it."
[♪♪♪]