Some Assembly Required (2014–2016): Season 1, Episode 7 - Dance Crew Evolution - full transcript

♪ Here we go ♪

Hey, guys.

It's okay that my dance
crew rehearses here.

Was that a question?

No.

It's okay that my dance crew
rehearses here.

We used to rehearse
at Monica's house,

but she quit to join
another crew...

of pirates!

Well, when would
these rehearsals be?

I figured from nine to five



because I'm here anyway
and doing nothing.

I'm sorry, Geneva.

Even though
you may not realize it,

this actually is a workplace.

I can't have you
and your friends dancing here.

You'll have to do it
in my office!

Ladies, right this way.

[Girls giggle and chatter]

Thank you!

Come on,
we can all squeeze in.

Jarvis, I...

Sorry, Piper.
Looks like we're full.

You could take the stairs.

[Audience laughs]



[♪♪♪]

♪ Buckle up ♪

♪ And hold on tight ♪

♪ You and me
on a wild ride ♪

♪ We're gonna own it
and change the game ♪

♪ Together we'll make it
all the way ♪

♪ Through all the ups
and all the downs, downs ♪

♪ We'll always
find our way around ♪

♪ So here we go
whoa-oh-oh ♪

♪ Here we go
whoa-oh-oh ♪

♪ Yeah, here we go
whoa-oh-oh ♪

♪ You got me ♪

♪ I got you ♪

♪ Here we go ♪

All right, ladies,
rehearsal time.

Let's get ready to shake
what our mommas gave us!

[Rattling]

So nice of our mommas
to give us these maracas.

[Rattling]

Jarvis?
You called me in here?

Yes.

You were blocking my view
of Geneva's dance crew.

I can't believe you're drooling
over those girls.

I am not.

You have a drool bucket!

Yes, because I'm drooling
over my new toy idea.

Really?
What is it?

It's a...

dance crew...

video game.

That's why I've been
watching those girls.

Research.

Just research.

Pass me my bucket.

I've got to do
a little more research.

That's actually pretty clever.

Dance crews are super
popular right now.

Every dance game out there
is single player or one-on-one.

You're right!

Let's see what other great ideas
I can come up with!

[Giggling, shaking]

[Elevator dings]

[Whistles]

Whoa!

[Audience laughs]

Aww.

Look at how cute P. Everett is
when he sleeps.

Wake up!

Wha?

I'm P. Everett Knickknack!

The P stands
for pleasant dreams...

which I was having
before you woke me up.

Sorry, but it's too risky
to nap here.

If the coaster came by
while you're sleeping...

you'd miss your chance
to go for a ride.

I seem to be falling asleep
whenever I over-exert myself.

What were you doing
that was so tiring?

Putting on my socks!

Got one on, then had
to rest for a few hours.

You need a better
place to nap.

After all,

you're P. Everett
Knickknack,

the original founder
of this company!

Yep!

That, or you're some kook
who came in off the street

claiming to be
the original founder

of this company.

Yep!

So which one is it?

I'm P. Everett Knickknack.

The P stands for possibilities!

[♪♪♪]

[Elevator dings]

Bowie, what are you thinking?

That sweatshirt should drape
off the left shoulder!

That's better.

As I was saying...

Bowie, what are you thinking?

Since Monica left,

Geneva's looking for a new
member for her dance crew,

so I'm hoping
she'll let me try out.

I didn't know
you were into dancing.

I'm not.

But dance crews
are so cool and trendy!

And as you can see, I'm always
on top of the latest trends.

I mean, why do you think I
listen to the Backstreet Boys

on my portable music player?

I don't think Geneva's
going to let you join.

Do you even know how to dance?

Of course!

Hit it, Backstreet!

[Tinny pop music]

So?

What do you think?

Is that your drool bucket?

Not exactly.

How did I miss this
whole bucket trend?

[Cheering, yelling]

Hey, Jarvis.

I finished the design
for that new video game.

I call it Dance
Crew Evolution!

Cool! Let me try it!

[Tinny music]

[Glass shatters,
music stops]

Okay,
I have a couple of thoughts.

It should be bigger
and not made of glass.

That was just a
picture of the design.

Anyway, I have the
feature song ready to go.

How could you,

considering I haven't played it
for you yet?

You wrote a song?
I wrote a song.

Is it a ballad
about how I wrote the song

that's featured in the game?

Come on, tell me
this isn't great.

[plays pop song]

[Stops]

It isn't great.

You told me to tell you that...

although
that really wasn't necessary,

because I would've said it
anyway.

My song is way better
to dance to.

[plays electronica]

[Stops music]

That's great!

If you're a depressed robot.

[Knickknack]: That small
plane has feathers.

Let's ask Knickknack
to decide.

Fine.

Mr. Knickknack?

We need your opinion
on something.

I prefer boxers
to briefs.

They come in more
fanciful designs!

No, we need you
to decide which of our songs

is more fun to dance to,

my fast, hip,
bangin' dance track, or...

Jarvis's.

Only one way to find out!

I'm going to have to dance
to both your songs.

Luckily, I'm P.
Everett Knickknack.

The P stands
for Pop 'n' Lock.

[plays electronica]

Oh, yes!

This is a fine ditty!

See?
A fine ditty.

That's good, right?

I'll show you good!

[plays pop song]

Ooh.

That's not too shabby!

Which means
somewhat shabby.

[plays electronica]

I remember this one!

Catchy!

Memorable. Catchy.
Case closed.

Look! Something
dark and morbid!

Ooh! Where?

[plays pop song]

Oh, now it's on!

[electronica]
[pop song]

[Music switches
back and forth]

[groaning]

P. Everett?

P. Everett?

The P stands for...

"Piper!

you killed Knickknack!"

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

P. Everett?
P. Everett?

Oh no...

What are we going to do?

Run around confused,

waving our hands,
freaking out?

Oh no, oh no,
what are we going to do?

Let's call that Plan B.

[Elevator dings]

Knox! Do you know CPR?

Of course I know CPR.

Great!

We're going to go call someone!

I can't believe those guys
questioned whether I knew CPR.

I know CPR...

And almost every other letter
in the alphabet.

Wake up!

Aaah!

I must have over-exerted myself
again.

Oh, did you get
your other sock on?

I sure did!

That's slang for dancing, right?

You can't keep falling
asleep everywhere.

We need to find you
a better place to nap.

Okay.

O... K...

Yes!

Just learned two more letters!

-Aster, will you help me...
-No.

-Design...
-Maybe.

-Shoes?
-Yes!

Great!

The shoes need to be able
to make anyone a great dancer.

Do I look like
I grant wishes?

Yes.

Thanks for
noticing.

Go on.

Here's how they'll work.

When music plays,

hidden microphones
in the shoes

pick up the sound

while electrodes stimulate
the nerves in the person's feet,

making them dance perfectly.

I've worked out
all the technology.

That's amazing!
What do you need me for?

To design
how it all fits in the shoes!

So, can you do it, Aster?

Aster?

Okay, since you cleaned
my oil lamp...

I figured I'd design
your dancing shoes.

All right!

Let's see if these do
what they're supposed to.

[Latin music plays]

Stop the shoes!
I want to get off!

[Music stops]

[Vomits loudly]

You threw up
in my tears bucket!

[Tearful]
I am so upset right now.

But there's nothing I can do!

Okay, the emergency operator
said to check his...

Oh no!

Where's Knickknack?

Is it time for plan B?

Oh no, oh no,
what are we going to do?

[Elevator dings]

[Jarvis screams]

Knox, where's Knickknack?

I'm afraid he's gone.

He is?
That's terrible.

No, it's not.

He's in a better place now.

But he was lying here
a few minutes ago.

Yeah.
I took care of it.

I couldn't just
leave him here.

I didn't even have
a chance to say goodbye.

Don't worry.

You'll see him again
before you know it.

[Audience laughs]

Wow.

And people say I'm dark.

All right,
let's see

if the new and improved
dancing shoes work.

Geneva's coming!

She can't know
about the shoes!

Just act cool.

Oh, it's not an act.

Hey, Aster...

and creepy life-sized doll
that looks like Bowie.

Have you guys seen my phone?
I thought it was in my purse.

[Phone plays tinny ringtone]

Where are you, phone?

The shoes work!
You're dancing!

You're right!
Hey, Geneva!

Check me out!

[Phone stops playing music]

That's great, Bowie.

You're standing
like a big boy.

[Phone plays ringtone again]

Geneva!
You call this standing?

[Music stops]

No, that's more like
"awkwardly not falling down."

But don't worry,
you'll get it!

[ringtone plays]

Geneva!

[Ringtone stops
as she picks up]

Hi.

No, I still haven't
found my phone.

'Kay, bye.

Hey, if you guys see my phone,

could you call me
and let me know?

How are the plans going

for P. Everett Knickknack's
memorial service?

Great!

Take a look at this.

Piper, an open casket
is a nice idea,

but we don't even have a body.

[Splat]

[Piper cackles]

No, but we have pie!

Isn't it perfect?

Perfect?

How is a banana cream pie
in the face

appropriate for a funeral?

You're right.

It should be key lime!

Piper, a man is dead.

The memorial should be
a somber occasion.

That man founded
a toy company.

Or he was a silly old kook.

Either way,
that says "fun."

His memorial should
celebrate that.

I just don't think
that's appropriate.

Besides, I'm surprised you
of all people

don't want
a traditional funeral.

I mean, you're dressed
for one every day.

You're the one who's
supposed to be Mr. Fun.

What would you wear
to a serious funeral?

Do you even own
a pair of shoes

that aren't sneakers?

Pff!

Of course I do.

Come on!

Aster must have shoes
I can wear!

Perfect!

Or...

No.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Jarvis, take a look
in this casket.

No way. I'm not falling
for that again.

There's no pie in there.
Trust me.

[Screams shrilly]

Okay, your pranks
are getting less whimsical.

It wasn't me!

I didn't put Knickknack
in there.

It was me.

I had him in a closet
for a while.

Then I realized

this should be
his final resting place.

Aster!

Geneva said she'll let me
audition for her dance crew!

Did you have to beg and cry
like a little girl?

No!

Like a big girl.

[Girls chatter]

Geneva's waiting.
I need the dancing shoes!

Oh no!
They're gone!

What?

I thought you said that
wasn't a genie lamp.

It's not.

I polish metal
when I'm nervous.

But I have to join
that dance crew!

If I'm not part
of all the latest trends,

I'll be mocked by the people
in my troll doll fanclub!

Well, just audition
without the dancing shoes.

I can't do that!

You saw me dance without them.

I looked like
a constipated bear

trying to steal a honeycomb!

That's a bit
of an exaggeration.

Those were your words!

But you've been wearing
those shoes all day.

They've taught you
how to dance.

It's just muscle memory now.

You can do this, buddy.
You don't need special shoes.

You've got something better.

This.

Thanks, Aster.

And if not,
at least I get to see you dance

like a constipated bear
trying to steal a honeycomb.

All right, Bowie,
show us what you got.

[Music plays]

He's doing it!

He's actually good!

[♪♪♪]

Bowie, that was...

horrific.

I think it's pronounced
"terrific."

Is it?

Well, whichever one
means "really bad."

Sorry, Bowie.

You're just not up
to our dance crew's standards.

Wow!

You guys must be
incredible!

We are!
Let's show 'em, ladies!

[Music plays]

[♪♪♪]

Friends,
we are gathered here today

to celebrate the life
of P. Everett Knickknack,

a man words cannot describe.

[Tearful]
He was so old and weird,

with a silly
balding hairstyle.

Or maybe they can.

P. Everett was a good man,

a kind man,

a man whose death
I played no part in.

[Audience laughs]

Is there anyone here

who would like to say
a few words

about the dearly departed?

[boing boing boing]

"Mmm-boing."

Beautiful.

I couldn't have said it
better myself.

This is so sad.

I know.

A whole rainbow of colours,
yet everyone wore black.

Let us now take a moment
for silent reflection.

Ooh! I love reflection.

[Piper plays Chopin's
funeral march]

Jarvis!

I thought you wanted
a somber memorial!

I do! Just keep going.

[she plays]

What are you doing?

Looks like jazz hands
with a Shim-Sham Boogie.

Why is this happening?

I have no idea.

Me neither.

[Both whistle nonchalantly]

Jarvis!

You've been doing this all day.

First your song for
Dance Crew Evolution

was better than mine,

then you said a fun funeral
was a bad idea,

yet here you are, dancing!

Piper, can you play music
and talk at the same time,

because we want to dance!

Yeah!

What better tribute to a man
who was all about fun,

or was a silly old kook?

Great idea, Jarvis!

Yeah!

Uhh... Thanks.

[Plays funky gospel music]

Are you kidding me?

A fun memorial was my idea!

Mine!

I'm the one who thought
we should have streamers...

Yeah!

And pie gags...

[Cheering]

And balloons...

No!

Not okay!

Balloons?
At a funeral?

You sicko!

That's messed
up, Piper.

[Disgusted chatter]

What's all the hullabaloo?

[Screaming]

What are you all
screaming for?

It isn't a real bear.

Knickknack?
You're alive?

Of course I'm alive.

But Knox, you said this was
his final resting place.

Well, I thought it would be.

I mean, this portable
covered bed is super comfy.

Why didn't you tell us
he wasn't dead?

Well, lots of people
aren't dead.

I can't name them all.

Hm. Oh well.

[Upbeat gospel music]

Unbelievable.

Nothing ever goes my way.

[Splat]

Well, that pie
went your way.

[♪♪♪]

Hey, Piper.

Check out the finished version
of Dance Crew Evolution.

Geneva's dance crew
is going to demonstrate it.

And they finally filled
that empty slot

with a terrific dancer.

Bowie, could you move?

You're blocking
their new member.

Let's do this!

[Piper's song plays]

You picked my song?

It's a great song
to dance to. See?

[♪♪♪]

[Knox]:
Careful, Mr. K.

Don't over-exert...

[Exhausted sigh]

[Thud]

Yourself.

Oh no!

Relax, he's just asleep.

[Sinister music]

It's a good thing you woke up
from your nap months earlier,

in plenty of time for us
to decorate this area

for Halloween.

Cool Knickknack costume,
by the way.

[♪♪♪]

[Announcer]:
People are salivating

for this year's
hottest new product!

Get ready for the one,
the only...

Drool Bucket!

[Piper's song plays]

From Knickknack!

Drool not included.

Tears Bucket and Vomit Bucket
sold separately.

I'm P. Everett Knickknack.

The P stands for
p-p-pail!

[♪♪♪]