Some Assembly Required (2014–2016): Season 1, Episode 23 - Gizmospinatron - full transcript

In Jarvis's dream, he creates the world's greatest new toy - but now that he's woken up, he can't remember what it is. Piper, Bowie, and Aster try to recreate the events of the day to help Jarvis have the same dream again.

♪ Here we go ♪

[♪♪♪]

Jarvis!

What are the odds
I'd run into you here?

By the front door,

at the beginning
of the work day?

I know.
Astronomical!

Anyway,
Yo-Yo Ma's string quartet

is on tour around the world...

and I have tickets.

Great. Have fun.



I thought
we could go together!

Not for the romantic music
or each other's company,

but I hear the bathrooms
at the venue are exquisite.

Can we talk
about this later?

I have a really
important meeting.

Yo, Jarvis, I need to talk
to you about getting a raise.

Can't now. I've
got a meeting.

But my friend in Milan
can pull some strings

to get me a one of a kind
designer sweater for my dog.

It's only $10,000.

Gotta go!
Big meeting.

[Elevator dings]

There you are,
Jarvis!

I've been waiting for you,



watching this elevator
go up and down,

up and down,
up and down, up...

Can this wait?
I'm late for a meeting.

But this is
really important.

The fate of this company
and every one of its employees

depends on it!

We need donuts.

Sorry! Meeting.

But we have
terrible snacks!

Apples, yogurt,
string cheese!

I'll never hit 80 pounds
at this rate!

Time for our meeting.

[♪♪♪]

♪ Buckle up ♪

♪ And hold on tight ♪

♪ You and me
on a wild ride ♪

♪ We're gonna own it
and change the game ♪

♪ Together we'll make it
all the way ♪

♪ Through all the ups
and all the downs, downs ♪

♪ We'll always find our way
around ♪

♪ So here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪

♪ Here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪

♪ Yeah, here we go
whoa-oa-oh ♪

♪ You got me ♪

♪ I got you ♪

♪ Here we go ♪

I don't think Jarvis listened
to a word I was saying.

Guess these tickets
are going to waste.

Too bad.

I hear the bathrooms
in that place are exquisite.

Well, I couldn't get
Jarvis to pay attention

to my request
for a raise either.

And I know why.

I read that tall people
earn more money.

It's so unfair to us
people of average height!

And Jarvis wouldn't even
listen to me

about our desperate need
for donuts.

We have danishes.

Wouldn't. Even. Listen.

Guys!

I just had
the most amazing dream!

We were all up on the roof
one night,

singing songs by the fire...

♪ Jarvis, this much is true ♪

You were asleep?

I thought
you were in a meeting.

Forget that.

The point is, my guitar
string broke...

♪ Jarvis, I want to be with ♪

[string breaks]

Everyone, wait here!

Where are you going?

How often do you
nap at work?

It doesn't matter!

What matters is
I ran into the shed...

I guess he's fixing
his guitar string.

[Hammering, chainsaw sounds]

[Jarvis]: But I wasn't
fixing the string.

I had been inspired to invent
the greatest toy ever!

It revolutionized
the industry overnight.

Every single kid bought one.

I called it...

the Gizmospinatron!

Well, what was it?

Yeah, tell us!

So you just sleep at work?

Bowie!

I'm trying to tell everyone
about the toy I invented!

The Gizmospinatron was...

was...

Was what?

I can't remember!

[Groaning]

Oh, Knox!
Something came for you.

A box!

Whee-hee-hee!

Aww.
It broke.

It's full of clothes.

It's from Epic Thunder!

They saw the video I posted
doing crazy skateboard stunts

wearing one of their shirts.

They sent you all
these free clothes

for promoting
their product!

Aww!

I should've done the stunt
wearing a box!

Then they would've sent
me a box of boxes!

Okay, I did a little research
about dreams.

A dream is the brain's way
of processing

the events of the day...

or in your case, Jarvis,

the five minutes
you were at work

before you took a nap.

If we can recreate
the events

leading up to the nap,

there's a good chance

Jarvis will have
the same dream again.

I'll be there next to
you when you wake up.

For the rest of our
lives, if necessary.

So you can tell me what
the Gizmospinatron is

before you forget.

We'll all be there.

For the rest of our lives,
if necessary.

Great.

First you don't want me
to nap at work,

now you do want me to nap.

Trying to please you guys
is exhausting.

I'm gonna go take a nap.

Okay,
if this is going to work,

the recreation of events
has to be identical.

The slightest variation

could plant a suggestion
in Jarvis's mind

and affect what he dreams about.

Then we'll just have
to be very careful

to do it exactly
the same way.

Agreed?

Agreed.

Donuts.

I mean... agreed.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Can you tell me if this box
you sent me is under warranty?

Then just put me through
to tech support.

I need you to use this
to make a video

of me doing
a dangerous stunt

so I get free clothes.

I didn't know Epic Thunder
made dresses for girls.

I'm not wearing
Epic Thunder.

I don't want
my free clothes

to be a bunch
of goofy tank tops...

which work with
your goofy face.

Thank you.

This dress

is an Isabella
Stracciatella original.

They cost a fortune...

and I'm going to get a
whole box of them for free.

Yes, you can have the box.

Sweet!

I can affect
Jarvis' dream.

Plant an idea.
Control his thoughts.

Manipulate
his desires.

Looks like we're
getting donuts!

[very stilted] Jarvis!

What are the odds
I'd run into you here?

By the front door,

at the beginning
of the work day?

I know.
Astronomical!

Anyway,
Yo-Yo Ma's string quartet

is on tour
around the world...

and I have tickets.

Oops.

[stilted] Can we talk
about this later?

I have a really
important meeting.

Yo, Jarvis.

I need to talk
to you about getting a raise.

Can't now.
I've got a meeting.

But my friend in Milan
can pull some strings

to get me a one-of-a-kind
designer sweater for my dog.

It's only $10,000.

Gotta go!
Big meeting.

[Elevator dings]

Hole-ah, amigo!

Can this wait?
I'm late for a mee...

What are you wearing?

Donut look good?

Dozen it suit me?

Sorry!
Meeting.

Okay.
See you glazer.

Heh heh heh.

I am a genius.

[Guitar strumming]

♪ Jarvis, this much is true ♪

♪ Jarvis, I want to be with ♪

[Guitar string breaks]

Everyone, wait here!

Where are you going?

Bowie? Are you okay?

I'm fine.

Let's shoot some hoops!

[Scoreboard buzzes]

Nothin' but me.

[startles awake]

Forget it, guys.

I didn't dream
about the Gizmospinatron.

What did you dream about?

You had a hole in you!

Like a...

like a...

bagel.

Hey, we should have
bagels around here.

[♪♪♪]

Okay.

I came up with a stunt
for you.

And don't worry,
it's nice and simple.

What is it?

All you have to do is stand
on this chair and jump down.

Oh.
That's doesn't sound so...

And land on
a rocket-powered skateboard,

which blasts you up to the roof,
down the stairs,

through the glass doors,

and into a wall of fire!

Let's do this!

[Knox]: We are not giving up!

[Jazzy music]

I wanted free dresses,

not a hat!

[Mmm-boing bounces by]

Maybe
if Jarvis thinks of me as tall,

he'll give me that raise.

It can't be that hard to get him
to dream that I'm tall.

I do it every night.

Jarvis.

What are the odds
I'd run into you here?

[Dialogue fast-forwards]

Yo, Jarvis, I need to "tall"
to you about getting a raise.

Why don't we sit down
to discuss it

in these regular-sized chairs
that seem tiny next to me.

Can't now.
I've got a meeting.

Is something wrong
with your clothes?

No.

I guess I had another
growth spurt. Again.

Typical Aster.

Gotta go.
Big meeting.

Speaking of big,
I am big.

[Elevator ding]

Heh heh heh.

I am a genius.

[Elevator ding]

There you are, Jarvis!

I've been waiting for you,

watching this elevator
go up and down...

[Dialogue fast-forwards]

[Guitar music]

♪ Jarvis
this much is true ♪

♪ Jarvis
I want to be with ♪

[String breaks]

Everyone, wait here!

Where are you going?

Aster?

Did something happen to you?

I don't think so,
little guy.

Didn't you used to be

the shortest guy
in the building?

[Aster, deepening voice]: Well,
now I don't fit in the building.

[Loud, rumbling footsteps]

Maybe I got a little big,

but don't worry,
I'm on the Paleo diet.

That's why I'm eating
the Museum of Paleontology.

[Screaming]

Uck!
This thing's full of bones!

[Munching]

[Gasps awake]

Nope. No Gizmospinatron.

[Sighing]

What did you dream about?

You were...

Tall and worthy of a raise?

On a diet.

Which is silly because
you hardly ever eat

sweet stuff like this.

Ooh!
Can I have one?

Pineapple ring?

Come on!

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Knox! I'm down
to my last dress!

Don't worry!

I have a stunt that will
definitely get their attention.

What is it?

We load you into a slingshot
and fire you across the room!

You land headfirst in the
moving roller coaster,

speed down the track,
and across the roof!

As soon as you reach
the edge of the building

before the final dip,

you leap out
of the roller coaster,

free fall seven stories,

and land in a tub of piranhas.

Is "piranhas"
a brand of luxury bubble bath?

No.

Then I know just how to do it.

Hi, I'm Geneva Hayes.

I'm going to do a spectacular,
death-defying stunt

wearing an Isabella
Stracciatella original.

You won't believe
what you're about to see.

But please do.

[Groovy music]

Whoa!

Whoa-ho!

Ah!

[Screaming]

Hope you liked it!

Please send free clothes...

[Knox]: In a box!

To Geneva Hayes,
care of Knickknack Toys.

And if you want to throw in
some jewelry,

that'd be cool too!

Hmm...

if I can plant a suggestion
in Jarvis's mind...

maybe I can make
his dream my dream...

where he falls
in love with me.

[Chuckles]

No one's that suggestible.

Do you mind?

Hey!

[Piper]: Jarvis!

What are the odds
I'd run into you here?

Piper, are you okay?

Yeah, I just fell.

Sometimes people fall...

on the floor, on the ground,

in love.

[stilted] Can we talk
about this later?

I have a really
important meeting.

[As if speaking normally]
Fall-fall-fall, fall fall fall

fall-fall fall fall fall fall
fall fall,

fall fall fall
fall-fall.

Fall fall fall fall
fall fall fall fall!

Heh heh...

I am a genius.

[Thud]

Fall!

Yo, Jarvis.

[Dialogue fast-forwards]

♪ Jarvis
let me just give you a sign ♪

♪ Jarvis
this much is true ♪

♪ Jarvis
I want to be with ♪

[string breaks]

Everyone, wait here!

Where are you going?

[Thud]

Piper? Are you okay?

I'm fine.

Let's shoot some hoops.

Ugh, never mind.

I think it looks like rain.

Rain?
It doesn't look like...

[Thunder rolls]

[Whoosh, thud]

It's raining men!

[Whooshing, thudding]

Oh, wait, my mistake.
They're Pipers.

Seriously?

You're insulting me
in someone else's dream?

[Thunder rolls]

[screams awake]

Still no Gizmospinatron.

What did you dream about?

You and I...

Yes?

Tried to play basketball.

Was there any dunking...

donuts?

[♪♪♪]

Okay, so you ruined
all your dresses.

I actually like
what you're wearing.

It must be from Isabella
Stracciatella!

They saw the video!

They sent me dresses!

Actually,
they sent you a suit.

With a dude in it.

Cease and desist?

What does that mean?

"Cease"...

to stop, discontinue.

Next word.

"And"...

in addition to.

Last word.

"Desist"...

to cease.

So they want me to stop
wearing their clothes?

And also stop wearing
their clothes?

They distributed
my picture

to all the Isabella
Stracciatella stores.

I'm banned from
shopping there!

I feel your pain.

That's why I did all this.

Years ago...

I was banned...

from the box store.

Whee-hee-hee!

[Giggles in excitement]

Okay, we all got carried away

trying to influence
Jarvis's dream

for our own benefit.

We were selfish.

You sure were.

Okay, let's vow to stick
to the plan this time...

recreate Jarvis's day exactly

so he dreams
about the Gizmospinatron.

Maybe the toy
will be so successful

Jarvis will give you your raise,
and buy donuts,

and be so overcome with joy
and raw emotion

that he'll just grab me
and...

play basketball with me.

I don't think so.

You're not allowed
to grab in basketball.

Jarvis!

What are the odds
I'd run into you here?

[Dialogue fast-forwards]

♪ Jarvis
let me just give you a sign ♪

♪ Jarvis
this much is true ♪

♪ Jarvis
I want to be with ♪

[string breaks]

Everyone, wait here!

Where are you going?

I guess he's fixing
his guitar string.

[Hammering, chainsaw sounds]

[Jarvis]: I've done it!

I've invented
the greatest toy ever!

The Gizmospinatron!

Did you have the dream?

No one talk to me!

Just let me draw
the Gizmospinatron

before I forget what it is!

Presenting...

the Gizmospinatron!

Next time you catch me napping
on the job,

just say to yourself,
"Genius at work!"

But say it quietly,
because I'll be napping.

It's definitely
an incredible invention.

The kind of thing that
will be popular for decades.

Something every
kid would want.

That's right,
because I invented...

The yo-yo.

A donut on a string!

What would make me dream
about a yo-yo?

-String...
-String...

Strings...

-Around the world...
-Walk the dog...

Up and down, up and down...

-Yo...
-Yo...

Yo-Yo...

Who knows?
Dreams are funny.

Okay...
maybe I'm still a genius.

We can put a new spin
on the yo-yo!

Get it? New spin!

We can't talk about this now.
We have a meeting.

Right, guys?

-Yep.
-Absolutely.

But... but...

Are we having this
meeting or what?

[♪♪♪]

[Announcer]:
What's the newest, hottest,

most unique toy ever?

The Gizmospinatron!

With this never-before-seen
toy,

you can do amazing tricks,

like "Around the Moon!"

"Rock the Bassinet!"

And "Walk the Cat!"

The Gizmospinatron!

New from Knickknack.

I'm P. Everett Knock-off!

The P stands for phony!

[Snoring]

[Gasps]

[Sighs in relief]

[♪♪♪]